When It Backfires (2-Hour Reddit Compilation)

what's one rule that your school workplace has implemented that absolutely backfired my high school banned girls from wearing any shirt that exposed their bra straps because seeing a bra strap would give high school boys evil thoughts most of the girls in school responded by wearing the same shirts they'd always worn without bras as a teenage boy it was a happy couple weeks the school tried to then mandate that all female students wear bras until a male teacher asked a 15 year old if she was wearing appropriate undergarments or not she called him a pervert her parents who thought the whole dress code things was as stupid as most of the students threatened a gender biased harassment suit against the school everybody in charge panicked and it all went back to the way it was before they tried to change anything coma until a male teacher asked a 15 year old if she was wearing appropriate undergarments or not this is my favorite tale the thought of the awning chasm that open up beneath this rules are rules and makes me chuckle during our general meeting last week the owner of the company went on a bit of a rant about negative reviews of management on a popular jobs website with a green logo he demanded that we stop posting negative reviews immediately and shamed anyone in the room who had done so as you can guess people doubled down and posted their grievances on the same day as the meeting the green logo company doesn't take too kindly to that sort of behavior seriously they will terminate service if management is caught doing that report it because of rumors of a drug problem in the school there was the administration decided to drug test students the media jumped all over that violation of our civil rights or something the initial statement was that anyone who failed the test would be kicked out of school after the 40th or so kid failed they changed the policy to mandatory meetings with the councillor after the 100th kid failed they hired another counselor our school just brought in drug sniffing dogs that would randomly come into classrooms the thing was the sheriff's department would always be parked in front of the school before the first bell with clearly marked canine cars so anybody who had drugs would see the cars and just skip school that day absences increased massively no personal conversations the office would be silent for hours and motivation took a huge nose dive if the owner heard a personal conversation he would call the person out and yell at them god that owner was a dong glad i got out i took over managing a group whose previous boss had this rule productivity skyrocketed the part i'm most proud of is the employee i was warned about being lazy and belligerent became one of my best assets all it took was to treat him with respect my old boss tried implementing an incentive scheme for the underperformers while anyone who consistently did well received nothing three of us quit within a month we used to be allowed to stream music etc on our computers spotify was an approved program and would come installed on your computer someone complained about productivity despite us always doing our work and so the band streaming of any kind on our computers but now everyone just listens on their phone so you walk around the office and nearly everyone has their phone out now so it looks even worse when sponsors come into the office yo pandora spotify and youtube are easily my best work friends banging out emails all day without listening to music would be borderline unbearable work instituted a point system for being late or calling off sick a crew too many points and you get written up fired if it continues they doled out the same number of points whether someone was a minute late or called off altogether and if an absence lasted up to five days it was still only one absence so anyone who overslept or encountered heavy traffic and was running late would just stay home for the rest of the week after several months they decided that being late was only worth half a point in our office we're not allowed to have more than 14 consecutive days off so one guy booked a cruise for a month booked off 14 days then one day back then another 14 days off he called in sick on his one day back we weren't allowed to be friends with kids in grades above us but we could be friends with kids in grades below us that rule didn't last long turn to your left and shake hands with the person standing next to you at an industrial site i used to work for they introduced an absolutely no overtime policy the people that most commonly worked overtime were the maintenance guys they had to cut out their preventative maintenance in order to make their hours while being available for all shifts it took three months of daily breakdowns before they decided to try something else how more maintenance would be a good compromise to that rule boss insists that lunch time is from 12 o'clock 12 30 p.m no exceptions lunch is not paid time the second day he comes in hot to trot with something for me to do between 12 o'clock and 12 30 and needs it done right away i look over at my clock which says 1209 or whatever and say you said yesterday that lunch is from 12 o'clock to 12 30. no exceptions and went back to my sandwich if i don't get paid from 12 o'clock to 12 30 there's no way in heck i'm working for free college removed chairs in cafeteria so people won't hang around now people just don't eat at the cafeteria it's a ghost haul and most of the food is thrown away daily really sad god forbid anyone socialize in a building or the college they're paying for while eating food they are also paying for lana de 14 school in london mo late 80s early 90s are fairly small rural school went from k-8 so we split lunch times in our gym cafeteria for some reason our school actually invested in a noise control system because we could apparently be quite loud during lunch and i guess the teachers got tired of trying to keep us kids quiet ish and eat this new piece of equipment was mounted high on the wall and looked exactly like a stop light when it was green we were free to talk if it became yellow we were to be careful of how much noise we made if it turned red it would buzz loud like when the game clock runs out at a basketball game installing this thing almost immediately had the opposite effect they desired it became a game to us we would only get quiet in order to make it go back to green then as a large group we would progressively get louder we would stall it out at yellow before surging our collective voices to make it hit red and b u z zed at which time we would all cheer laugh and get quiet again to reset it to green good times that's why they frown on putting breathalyzers in bars turns it into a competition any support call lasting longer than 25 minutes must be reported to higher ups for review i.e if you have too many no matter if it's your fault or not you get a disciplinary review i implemented the rule of politely hang up on a customer as close to 25 minutes as you can and call them right back i am sorry i am experiencing a small issue with my phone is it okay if i call you right back gotcha outgoing calls are not reported or recorded it's amazing any software related to job whether written inside or outside company time belongs to the company me so if i write and release malware at home it's the company's problem the clause was immediately removed outside company time that has got to be illegal my friend worked as a technician at a place that did installation for telecom sound cable pretty much anything tech related really the techs were paid by work order completion each job had a value that got paid out when you finish the work order the experienced techs could finish more jobs in a day and made some seriously good money they were motivated to work fast to get more jobs done but also to do it correctly because having to go back within a certain time window and fix a problem didn't pay out so it lost money well some new management came in and decided to change everyone to hourly wages their idea to make techs focus on getting the job done right and not rushing it all the really good tech saw massive pay cuts from it and immediately quit the rest of the tech suddenly had no reason to finish jobs quickly since you got paid the same whether you did two installs or 10 installs in one day so everyone just started slacking off within a few weeks the orders were backed up so bad install dates were pushed out for a month or more and when people finally did get their stuff installed it took all day instead of a couple hours that one change completely fricked over the company nothing like greedy management to completely freak up a good thing no cell phones in high school security collected them when you walked in put them in ziploc bags and locked them up they lost like five people's phones lost had a fellow at my old place of work that was promoted to sales manager within a few days he drafts up a document which he tries to get all of us to sign basically stating that we aren't working to our full potential and that to make profits all we would have to work even when we weren't working aka taking calls from customers no matter the day or time this resulted in an almost immediate revolt and about 10 plus people bypassing him directly and going right to the owner he was demoted then later fired within a week pizza place i worked at in high school implemented a zero tolerance policy on employees taking home any food home that wasn't paid for at non-employee prices any screw-ups or unpicked up orders trash the local homeless population started flocking to the store and calling in bogus orders because they knew there would be free pizza in the dumpster every night our process integrity people decided every international order over 100 000 needed to be approved by a manager at the purchase requisition stage before the sales order could be processed the problem purchase requisitions only generated after the sales order was completed this meant it was impossible to complete any international order worth more than 100 000 and they launched this policy unannounced two days before christmas i ended up staying in the office until nine at night trying to get out data people to create a way for me to order 300 k in parts from sweden before the holidays i was told this story when i was in the army by a parachute rigger the workday in the army is nine o'clock 4 30. riggers packing troop shoots had a daily quote of 35 shoots once they got good at it these guys could be done by 2 30 which is a very nice work day indeed well they got this new captain who decided that since these guys are getting 35 done by 230 then obviously making them work until 4 30 would increase output even more so of course that units numbers went wild down and the 35 and you're done for the day was quickly reinstated from another perspective parachuters might have preferred when the riggers were taking their time rather than rushing through the process to leave early no backpacks in the classroom which led to hundreds of backpacks in the principal's office one morning no one gave a frick about that rule in germany you need a paper from your doctor when you are sich at least three days they enforce that you needed one even if you just are away for one day so everyone had to go to the doctor if not feeling right and of course we were away for weeks we have the same here in finland my superiors accept that you call them if you have fever or something minor one two days off and mark them as normal working hours rather than going to doctor and get one two weeks of sicklys works for me works for them a big shipping company i worked at for a couple months said we would be working 7am to 4pm they didn't tell all the new employees including myself that holiday hours were going to be 7am to whenever the frick we feel like telling you to go home around 10 to 11 p.m naturally people would get in five to seven hours of work and go on break then just not come back that led to we can no longer allow lunch breaks me and roughly 50 70 other workers quit on the spot the deputy head of our school banned fidget spinners and rightly so in his defense they were everywhere on the final day of year 11 someone hacked his school internet login and edited the bulletin leaving a notice in his name saying that fidget spinners were now not only unbanned but mandatory and that aficionados could come to his office and learn tips and tricks from him real world heroism stopped giving kickback for walk and sales i work at a hotel and the high management had the bright idea not to give us anything for charging walk-ins late checkouts early check-ins and upgrades so now we give them for free whenever we can then summershat will leave that fear satisfied as they were and charged 4x after talking to y in their tripadvisor review it was actually my rule when i was managing a store my rule was that the closer had to do all the closing work and mark the checklist and i would check it the following morning however i put a loophole in if you close tonight and open tomorrow you can come in early the following morning i was really the only one who closed and then opened the following morning and i knew that on many of those days i worked 10 hours with non-stop managerial work so instead of staying late to clean i like to come in early and do it in sunlight well one day i followed my rule and the next morning i woke up sick and had to call an employee to cover he showed up to a dirty store opted not to clean and then got written up when the owner made a surprise visit i didn't close so it wasn't my job and the owner said you work here and the store is dirty so it is your job i then had to go tell the owner that it was my fault and he still responded regardless of what you did or didn't do he came into a dirty store and did not clean it that's not acceptable i removed my rule change and just made it mandatory to clean before leaving lol a few years ago we weren't allowed to stand in groups bigger than four at our school because this old teacher told us it was gang behavior and encouraging gang violence one day my entire year of like 100 plus people got in a massive group screaming gang gang and throwing gang signs on our school field so they had to bring every single teacher out to try and split us apart for a straight 20 minutes best school day ever we did a massage around the flagpole then spend three days holding any hand of any person you walked by this was after they told us we could not touch anyone a nursing home in our area thought it would be a great idea to bring back the traditional white nursing caps they made it mandatory for all female nurses to wear during their shifts or be written up and eventually pointing yourself out male nurses were not included about half of the staff quit within the first two weeks several started working at my facility the others that stayed said that the residents and families of resident laughed and made fun of the nurses constantly pretty degrading and chauvinistic comments basically about three months after this all went down someone from corporate came in and fired all the directors who implemented the uniform change and everything went back to normal several nurses stayed with my company but a few went back when the rules changed used to work in an inpatient treatment facility one of the perks was that meals were provided to staff members the new ceo decided that it was far too expensive to feed clients and staff and put the kibosh to it in an effort to trim the food budget the food at this place used to be decent with a competent cook who knew how to use fresh ingredients now the food provided is processed and gross last i heard the cook quit and they have the handyman preparing meals the kicker the food budget has gone up because now the food is all pre-made frozen the clients hate it and most of it goes in the trash no swapping shifts without a shift swap form immediately backfired when the manager had a stack of shift swap forms every day to approve and update the digital roster my middle school tried to prohibit students from bringing backpacks into class you could bring a purse bag etc however just not a backpack they wanted students to either stop by their locker before every class period impossible without being late or carry a large stack of heavy textbooks around all day due to the latter reason the rule got cancelled within a week this was in 1998-99 so i'm not sure what they were trying to achieve with this rule one job i had had a nails should only be in neutral colors rule every rule was enforced rather strictly except for this one because per the words of a manager every woman would get written up ruler at my workplace ws that if you were late you had to bring donuts for everyone people quickly figured out that the cost of being four hours late was to bring doughnuts as a result if you were running late you just had a slow easy morning and stopped by to pick up donuts on your way in our boss who had put the rule into place thought it was funny and just let it continue he was an easygoing guy and really good at motivating people letting them get away with this sort of thing meant they stayed late or showed up after hours for emergencies not me but my friend's old place my friend was one to show up a half hour early before work and was a commission-based salesman with salary just like the other salesmen who would always show up barely on time two hours late friday night comes along and management decides to hold a meeting to announce the new policy if you're late you go home for the day and if you're late three days a month you're fired the weekend goes by and everyone is on time during the week a few people call out sick right as the store opens the weekend is coming up and my buddy is scheduled for saturday but not sunday or monday and he's going to disneyland with his wife who has saturday sunday and monday off friday night he packs his wife's car saturday comes along and he's in the parking lot a half hour early he pops in his favorite cassette fires up a joint and proceeds to hot boxes car he walks in five minutes late wreaking off pot looks at the clock and then to his boss in front of the whole sales floor and loudly says oops i'm late guess i need to go home with a crap eating grin on his face the bosses started backpedaling the policy and started to tell him it wasn't for him and they'll let it slide he loudly stated that it wouldn't be fair if they made an exception for him and that he would see them tuesday when he got back to work on tuesday the policy was gone same company years later hired some absolute genius of an accountant who sold the idea to management that employees were making more than management and that they should go from commission to salary all the top salesmen jumped ship asap the reminding bottom feeders got a raise compared to their normal salary and commission and they didn't have to do crap all day to get it less than a year later they shut their doors for the last time jesus christ watful thinks it's a good idea to completely remove the incentive for selling things that's how you go from a place of business to walmart ffs one of top managers for my work decided that everyone who's worked there for seven plus years had to do a special online training course that consisted of two 400 plus page volumes of leadership training followed by a 20 25 question test for each volume you were expected to complete this within one year of being automatically signed up for the course failure to pass the tests or to complete the course by the end of that year and are you ineligible for promotions and almost guaranteed to be laid off within a year so many people tried to take the guaranteed severance package option by not doing the course that they had to change the rule that you wouldn't get laid off or not promoted but you still had to do the course people still didn't do it that guy finally left shortly after and a new guy replaced him and promptly chucked that course and the whole idea of it into the garbage when my school moved to a newly built site they also tried to establish a new rule asset for a new generation or something the first one because they loved their fancy new building so much was that nobody was allowed to leave the building until the end of the school day including breaks the front door would literally be locked unless there was a fire alarm suffice to say either nobody turned up or a lot of fire alarms were pulled before the rule was thrown away there were also military style uniform inspections at random throughout the day and they looked to us i was in sixth form to set the example for the kids however they were so overzealous and dictorial that it became comical and we all very quickly stopped caring and told them to send us home or get lost and stop treating us like trash there were more stupid rules like this but our first group of sixth form ended up tearing them all down in a couple of months i didn't reach my sixth form until much older in life great workhorses phones should be stowed away in a box in the front of the classroom everyone was like me we'll see how it goes in other words number yeah like i'd leave 800 pounds sitting in a box in the front of a classroom full of people still learning morals programmer here management implemented an agile work tracking system that measured programmers by the amount of feature requests they completed we quickly figured out how to gain that system by breaking everything down into the maximum number of feature requests we could imagine we'd make separate feature stories for make new button make button blue make button respond when clicked make new page for the new report run business logic to get results display results in grid set font for grid make grid sortable make back button return to previous page we became great at dividing a one-day task into 21-hour tasks management loved it our team looked 20 times as productive and became an example to show off our process as the best performing team despite producing far less actual work and more useless form filling for some reason my department started a rule having to keep phones in their cars or locker eventually the supervisor said frickit cause no other department was told this no n words in the huck finn our high school teacher made us buy the censored version for his class and numerous parents complained about the censorship as well as the added cost since our school library had sets of the original we could have read for free it's history embrace it accept it don't repeat it oh gosh in school back in the day we participated in a diversity-driven activity carried out in the form of the wall of tolerance or something along those lines basically we had to write down stereotypes and put them up so we could tear them down it ended up looking like the wall of racism it was so bad i'm just glad we didn't end up on local news way back in the antediluvian days of the 20th century i worked as a government inspector in one of the larger u.s states this was before the advent of government employee unions each fiscal year the personnel department will come up with proposals for reimbursing employees for official travel discuss it with an employee association and send it to the state legislature for rubber stamping one year someone came up with the bright idea that travel reimbursement should cover more than overnight trips employees who were required to travel more than 25 miles from their headquarters should get a lunge allowance my guess is that no one looked hard at the proposal and those that did were thinking of staff who went to occasional meetings not people who were on the road every day well my agency had the state divided up into districts inspectors in the districts were on the road almost daily in my case it was a combination of overnight and day trips it was pretty common to be more than 25 miles away from my office and my colleagues and i discovered that it was easy to change pretty common to almost always multiply that by not only my own agency staff but staff in every other agency that did field work we cleaned up on the lunch allowances the state budget for employee travel was completely blown before the year was half over and as soon as legally possible the rule was changed to cover only specific emergency conditions parents have read it what lessons have to try to teach your kids that completely backfired as good people we taught our kids that littering isn't nice as humans we also let some curse words fly in front of them we were at our city's fourth of july celebration when the eldest was four we were walking around and someone tossed their trash on the ground captain litterbug flew into action picked up the trash and yelled hey butthole you dropped this while tapping them on the butt i wanted to teach my son the value of money and work ethic because he kept wanting robux i decided it would be a great teaching moment and a win-win opportunity as he was just getting to the age in which i think he should start doing chores around the house he really wanted to buy some skin or something so i created a chore chart and gave each chore a value a schedule and everything it was working out majestically every day without asking he was doing dishes cleaning his room picking up the dog poop it was epic then one day i came home and nothing had been done i asked him hey man what's up with the dishes oh and go pick up the dog poop too he simply replied now fighting backrage i simply said excuse me he said he made enough money over the last x days that he bought his skin and he was good now it was hard to argue this is like the same effect going to a hotel has you go to this clean place where food is delivered to your bedside and no one is ever making you do anything then you go back to your crap job and crap life of having to pick up after yourself till that teaching kids lessons is like getting your wish granted by bag genie my in-laws love telling this story about my fiance he was resistant to potty training and they eventually got him to start using the potty by telling him that he had to be out of pull-ups before a family trip to disney world because mickey mouse only sees big boys and girls and also who wants to log a diaper bag around disney anyway it went great they had a great trip and the day after they got back he took a crap in the living room when asked he said i don't got to use the potty cause i already saw mickey mouse they very firmly told him that if he was old enough to use logic he was far too old for diapers and that was the end of that when my older son was about three or four years old we realized he was starting to act very spoiled and materialistic we always tried to make him see how lucky he already had it but he constantly begged us for every toy candy and treat he saw anywhere and everywhere around that time i came across a great photo spread that involved the photographer traveling around the world and snapping photos of different children with their most prized possessions of course the kids in the us canada and europe were mostly photographed in rooms filled with stuff but there were also photos of children from impoverished nations usually showing the child with only one old dirty stuffed animal i thought i was going to accomplish this brilliant parenting move by sitting him down and going through the photos with him i'd explain how the kids with rooms like his were beyond lucky and he should feel more than satisfied with all of the great stuff that he had then i would show him the other photos and he would finally understand that there are so many other children in the world with far less than he had we looked through the photos and talked about each one we finally got to one with a little boy standing on his cot with his one possession a well-loved dingy looking stuffed monkey my son looked at him for a long time i could see his wheels spinning success i thought after a long bit of silence he finally looked up at me gave me a sweet smile and said i want that monkey captain price mission failed we'll get in next time not a parent but when i was around 12 my father suspected that i stayed up late playing video games even though i didn't one night he went into my room and told me that i shouldn't play my game boy advance past bedtime because i needed to rest that's when i realized i could play my game boy advance past bedtime and i've suffered from insomnia since then this story is my favorite when parents give you an idea you didn't even consider previously saw the clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom's life by calling 911 when she collapsed figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 9-1-1 had two cops at my door five minutes later good response time a friend of mine was trying to teach his son not to hit his daughter so any time the sun hit the daughter he started hitting the sun in the head it's not hard but enough to hopefully jog some sense of empathy actual result the sun would cover his head with one hand and smack his sister with the other when my daughter was 10 she wanted to try out for a community theater version of beauty and the beast she got nervous though and almost backed out because she was so sure she wasn't going to make it my husband who did some acting in high school stepped in and said that he would also audition even though he knew he was never going to make it he wanted to demonstrate to her that it's okay to audition for something that you don't think you're going to make she ended up not only just making it but she got the part of chip my husband got the part of morris belle's father he didn't even want to be in a goddamn play when my daughter was young i was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to start giving her an allowance she had a few tasks to do around the house and afterwards on the weekends before we would go out i'd give her five dollars i explained that because she helped out and did her chores she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted she happily accepted and stashed her money in her room i thought nothing of it later that evening before i tucked her into bed after reading to her she goes to her money jar pulls out two dollars and hands it to me and explains that it's for being a good daddy after i got the money i gave her a hug and told her i loved her when she was asleep i put the money and some more in her jar buy yourself something nice hon my aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousin manners and wanted him to address people as mr and mrs they used each other as examples and consequently were known as mr ian you chili for two months one of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of dad he started hearing mystery and you chili cracks me up every time my 4yo cousin was taught to introduce people at school he would introduce his parents to people like hello i would like you to meet my friends mommy and daddy i'm kind of sad he grew out of that my youngest boy would never listen and he was always totally fearless he was also always really lucky dang near every time either of us told him don't do that you're going to get hurt he would do it and then not get hurt so we ended up teaching him that when we said not to do something that probably meant it was a fun thing to do i remember really hoping that he would fall and break an arm or something non-life threatening or disabling like that so he would stop constantly giving us heart attacks which is weird to say as a parent but it never happened so it doesn't matter anyway he never got anything worse than a small scrape or cut that could be cleaned and covered in five minutes before he was back at it again looking back i'm just glad this was before there was anything like jackass around to further encourage that crap now he's a stuntman for movies can't say i'm surprised told my children they should always have a good reason for what they want to do as a way to curb impulsive behavior i'm hearing about all the reasons constantly my dad tried to implement the whole you must eat all the food on your plate in our house during meals my mom was never a fan of that lesson but my dad was stubborn so she just let it go well one day my sibling had two three bites of food left on their plate and was very clear that they were absolutely full and couldn't eat another bite dad wasn't having it and insisted they could not leave the table until all the food on their plate was gone my sibling realized they weren't going to convince our dad that they were too full and finished the last few bites and then proceeded to vomit on the table and our dad he stopped enforcing the rule after that when i was about two years old my family was at a game in angels stadium my mother went to the restroom and left me and my siblings with my dad while he was busy watching i wandered off when they eventually found me i was halfway around the stadium a crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arm's length while i screamed call the police this man is not my daddy over and over again my parents had taught me stranger danger but forgot to teach me what police look like call the police sir we are the police told my children repeatedly that if i found any more mess junk on their bedroom floor i would be donating it to the thrift store i told them they have 15 minutes to clean it up off the floor came back to find everything picked up except they went into the kitchen cupboards and had put every food they didn't like in a nice neat pile right in the middle of the floor as a child i noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls when she was drawing on them with crayon taking on the role of helpful big sister i informed her if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away a few weeks later she was carving patterns into the wooden desk in the study and carved my name into it instead i remember in third grade getting in trouble for putting graffiti on the school wall the artist had signed it with my first name which is a fairly common name i was both outraged at the false accusation and offended that they thought i was that stupid i always tell my children that the lottery is a tax on people that are bad at math i let my eight-year-old spend a few hard-earned dollars on a powerball ticket to prove it and he won one hundred dollars taught my now 16 year old to always compliment people who insulted you we were in a burlington coat factory in michigan when my mother was shopping for a bathing suit to take to florida there were a few to choose from so she was complaining my kid was four a woman trying on pants and said something rude to my mom who was asking my opinion and my daughter caught on that my mother was agitated she squeezed out behind me and told the woman your teeth are such a pretty yellow haha i can't tell if she knew what she was really doing but super awesome either way my parents taught me to call nine one one when i saw somebody doing something illegal i called the cops on the wiggles movie i was watching when i was five because a clown stole a cake luckily the 911 operator realized i was young my story didn't make sense because it was a kids movie asked to talk to my mom before sending out cops i called 9-1-1 when i was four or five years old because i witnessed the mailman steal a letter out of my mailbox i had to be told how to mail system worked after that i'm a nanny two years old was refusing to wear her hat it was hot i told her if she didn't put her hat on she would have to wait in the car she started walking away from me where are you going car drink and i will be there edward playing carnival fair games is a waste of money my son wanted to spend his twenty dollars to win a pikachu stuffed animal from his allowance that he saved up we told him he would be wasting his money and he would not win he spent 15 and won the biggest prize to be fair playing carnival fair games isn't a waste of money if you have the mindset that you are paying for the fun of the experience and not the prize taught my young toddlers on how to go upstairs i did not realize that going downstairs is in fact a completely different and far more dangerous skill set lucky for us the kid seems to have finally grasped the finer points of head protection now i'm picturing a toddler throwing himself down the stairs with his arms wrapped around his head when i was a cub scout my family and i attended a large fundraising dinner this included a raffle with many prizes the best of which was a brand new pool table at the time i had an allowance of two dollars a week i asked my parents if i could use up my allowance money for the next six weeks and spend twelve dollars on raffle tickets to try winning the pool table everyone wanted that prize and everyone was adding handfuls of tickets there were dozens upon dozens stuffed into the jar my parents decided that this would be a good lesson about the dangers of gambling they agreed to let me use my allowance for the next six weeks but warned that i wouldn't win the prize and would not be given any more money for quite some time i'd have to learn the hard way not to pay with cash i didn't have i won the pool table i tried the whole have your kids quote chores for pay and bid against one another it's supposed to teach them about working for their money and not expecting handouts like an allowance it turned into every time i asked them to do something i good how much will you pay me my parents had very clear lines about these are your chores and you do them because you are a part of the family and these are things we are willing to pay you to do because they are either horrific or something we'd be willing to pay here professional to do hence that summer i got paid like 300 to clean up all that pigeon crap in the barn people who sleep naked when has it backfired there was one morning in high school when my dad decided to wake me up for school by ripping the covers off me in bed that was the last time that happened we all know rude awakenings are the cause behind nude sleeping i had a closet-sized single dorm room and people would always pull the fire alarm in the middle of the night and we'd all have to go outside one time i was so drowsy i just walked out instinctively and halfway down the hall i raced back thankfully this was an old building so i didn't get locked out of the room either i'll burn or i'll make it out alive but i'm going to wear pants not me but i was spending the night at my friend's house in a suburban neighborhood in the middle of the night his mom had let their toy fox terrier out to go pee and it got snatched by a coyote she screamed and woke us all up a wolf got noodle within 10 seconds his dad was sprinting out of the house completely but but naked with a glock in his hand and went running down the street he came back about 15 minutes later with the dog and obviously still completely naked not all heroes wear capes or clothes one time my sister was hiding in my closet to wait for a bit until i was almost asleep so she could scare me unfortunately she didn't know i was whacking it and she jumped out to scare me right as i came which ended up going all over her face and into her mouth my mom heard the commotion and came into my room to investigate and after seeing me naked and my sister covered in my jizz got the wrong idea to make a long story short i now have to freak both of them every night so they won't tell my girlfriend i hope this is a joke lol i locked myself out of my flat whilst sleepwalking one my girlfriend was on holidays so i had to wait until morning borrow a towel off a neighbor and then walk about a mile up the road to the estate agents to get a spare key i would have lent more than a towel geez when my little cousin who is a male pulled my blankets off to wake me up he was not expecting his oldest female cousin to be completely nude that was a very awkward moment it was at that moment timmy didn't like legos anymore i don't know if i would call it backfired but when the suicidal girl that's staying the night at your brother's house because they're watching this girl for suicide reasons wakes you up in the middle of the night and is sitting right on top of you telling you that you have to talk her down right then and there or she's going to kill herself in front of you yeah you would probably just rather be clothed for that encounter a few years ago i was working a night shift and had just returned home at 7am i was so tired that i didn't close the front door properly after i activated the house alarm i went to my room and undressed myself and went to bed i wake up to the alarm blaring and i look around my room as i hear yelling i see there are two female cops in the house with their guns out and one of them was pointing it at me i'm half asleep and not really understanding what was going on the officer asked if i lived here to which i said yes then she ordered me to show her my id my id which was in my wallet was on my dresser i pointed her to where my wallet was she ordered me to show it to her and i said i couldn't get up because i was naked under my blanket so while still pointing her gun at me she opened up my wallet after that the cops left and after securing the front door properly i went back to sleep my favorite part is that two trained professionals found it conceivable and even probable that someone broke in to take a morning nap like freaking goldilocks i was at a hotel and the fire alarm went off i had to very quickly find clothes get dressed it was a legit small fire too i always sleep with pants on at hotels i don't want to find out the hard way that they don't wash the sheets well enough when i was about 13 or 14 i used to sleep naked until i started to sleepwalk a lot never slept naked ever again dang i didn't get that brave until i turned like 17 or 18 when i started drinking and was always too hot at night with clothes basic training getting called out of bed because someone fell asleep on guard duty my private was standing at attention at ease when in uni my room was right in front of the university so when looking out my windows you would look straight into classrooms so one day the inevitable happened i had forgotten to close the curtains at night you couldn't see me while i was in bed due to the head of the bed obstructing the window however getting out of the bed would expose my entire naked body to the world so any board student whose site was wandering off outside the classroom window could get a nice viewing of my naked body the way i fixed it was by simply rolling up in my bedsheets and sort off hop to my curtains in my bedsheet roll i am male btw so i didn't have to cover up breasts coma by a male btw so i didn't have to cover up breasts just let those moves swing free never chased a burglar down the stairs through the kitchen and out my front door without wearing a shred of clothing and no weapon in hand the power of nakedness been sleeping in the raw since i was a kid and would fidget out of my pjs i think it used to bug my mother but she finally gave up every girlfriend would start out the relationship by joining me but over time would end up with the conventional night clothes hasn't backfired on me yet i'm your nemesis i sleep with a t-shirt shorts and socks on i was at a house fire once during the night and the homeowner slept naked when we arrived he was running around his front yard naked with a garden hose thankfully he was not injured and we were able to salvage most of his belongings and the one thing he said is that he learned to now sleep with shorts on i was going to say never because i always keep shorts next to the bed however we got a new papa couple years back who likes to sleep under the blankets i gotta say catching a wear and paw from to the butt or genital region sucks a little bit more than it typically hitting my leg or back my wife thought she would be cute last night and pull my blankets off to try and start some sexy time in the blink of an eye our puppy who got excited by the blanket jumped on the bed and sack tapped me so hard i almost had vomited i was young like 12 and had just hit puberty i had slept naked my whole life and it didn't change one day super hot babysitter that i didn't know was gonna work try is waking me up which was hard because i was a really heavy sleeper i woke up right as she pulled the covers off me to behold my 12-year-old rock hard morning wood dong this sounds like a great start to a porno granted all of the actors 18 and the one who plays you looks 12. i normally don't do this but one summer night i had a meal from my local mexican place that i love since i was busy that day i didn't have lunch and decided to get significantly more than what i normally order to cure the hangry i also did not get an opportunity to poop that day since it was unusually hot that night i decided to ditch everything and sleep bear after one very realistic dream of me on the toilet let's just say that i had to get a new set of bed sheets the next morning crap happens i've always slept naked but the heater in my room was broken and it was getting too cold even with layers of blanket i woke up that morning and knew i had the house to myself at least till late afternoon so i continued snoozing in my sister's room with the heater on next thing i knew i heard voices coming up the stairs it was my sister and her friends i guess they decided to ditch school and thought i wasn't home i had no other choice but to roll over and hide under the bed they were hanging out in that room for a good two hours and i was under the bed completely naked the whole time that was almost 15 years ago and she still has no idea casually sits under bed for two hours completely naked i started somewhere in high school because of night sweats in college i moved into an on-campus apartment alone and the very next morning i woke up to three grown mid 50s dudes with their faces in my window my bed was directly below the window university housing gave some bs excuse about my window needing maintenance just my window specifically none of the others in the entire complex the window wasn't even designed to open i think they were being pigs but i was 1000 miles away from anyone who cared about me and just let it go technically that is illegal as universities are still bound by landlord tenant laws they are required to give you 24 hours notice before any form of non-emergency maintenance not me but an old friend's father they own a cabin in northern california out in the wilderness and go up a time or two every year one night her dad decides to sleep outside on the porch in a sleeping bag of course in the nude while he's sleeping a bear sneaks up to the porch and grabs one of their coolers this wakes him up and he sees a small bear trundling away with their stuff this six feet three large naked man gets out of his sleeping bag and begins chasing the bear while screaming at the top of his lungs but this scares the poor little bear so he drops the cooler and hightails it they still have the cooler to this day complete with teeth marks when i was 16 my stepsister woke me up to tell me that tim hortons was on the phone i had applied for a job there i jump out of bed and both of my arms are numb i fumble around spectacularly trying to cover myself with my blanket in order to get to the phone i run to my dad's room and pick up the heavy marble and gold rotary phone and smash myself in the forehead with it i got the job fortunately nothing yet for me personally alfo tbh i don't sleep naked too often especially this time of year a university flatmate had a boyfriend with a supposedly fairly bent dong she claimed it was the result of a night time falling out of bed landing penis first with an erection crunch about five years ago camping with some friends for senior week i don't normally sleep naked but it was very hot i slept naked my gf slept with minimal clothes first night my guy friend tried to scare me at like one or two in the morning was met with my birthday suit he still teases me about it i can't remember if it was the second or third night but the same instance happened with my girlfriend's friend and her boyfriend who were drinking and rushed into our tent without knocking i guess i was fast asleep and don't remember the second one but they do they also still tease me about it i wouldn't say it backfired but there have been two times things went kinda sideways once when my daughter's half respiratory monitor's alarm went off in the middle of the night i jumped out of bed and performed cpr it turns out i just forgot to plug the machine in and its low battery alarm was the same as your kid is dying alarm after i got the alarm handled and was checking baby my father from the bedroom doorway asked if everything was okay i said yes it was all good and he shut the door and left i thought it was weird that he was standing outside the doorway looking at the ceiling it wasn't until later when i was finally going back to sleep that i realized i was mostly nude except for a postnatal diaper thing i was unclothed laughed so hard i woke the baby again months later another event happened by this time baby no longer has a monitor and hasn't stopped breathing for months she's healthy enough to co-sleep and i was rocking that bedtime nursing well in the middle of the night i wake up bc there is something biting my nipple turns out baby woke up and decided to help herself to a midnight snack except she didn't get a good latch got frustrated and freaking bit me i tell her that story every chance i get why can't i have an abc well when you were about four months old why can't i go to z's well one time when you were very little once when raz in college knocked at my door in the middle of the night and it took me a second to get up and get dressed they were suss of me other than that being nothing but great even got my partner hooked on sleeping the same way i was in the mental hospital and my roommates and i were pretty close so i was fine sleeping in my underwear sleeping there sucks so i'd do anything to get a little more comfortable anyways you get 15 minute checks there even through the night i guess i wasn't ready when they shined the flashlight in and i covered up quickly i got in trouble and was put on boundary precautions there was a red dot by my name on the whiteboard so everyone knew from then on i had to sit one couch square away from everyone carefully monitored for the rest of my stay so i didn't get too close to my mental peers one time i got up to get a glass of water in the middle of the night i then fainted the glass broke and i fell on the shards i woke up in a pool of blood right after an extra layer could have probably helped with getting less cuts never been married twice pajama wife my ex and naked wife the marriage with naked wife is shall we say much healthier voice my crush came over to study with me and i walked out but naked she just looked away we've been dating for four years now nashi peaked and liked what she saw i think of my poor husband on vacation in europe the one time i convinced that man to sleep naked so he can be more comfortable lol we wake up to what we thought was the middle of the night to blaring fire alarms in a hotel in london he rarely sleeps naked so he bolted out of bed assuming he was in boxes grabbed his slippers and ran out the door meanwhile i was getting dressed right behind him trying to get his attention to get dressed he kept thinking i was worried and was yelling over me i managed to get clothes on while he remained naked we ran down four flights of stairs made it to the front desk to ask what the commotion was about only to find out it was 4 p.m and this was a routine test of the fire alarms throughout the hotel the hotel clerk then looked at my husband and said despite being in europe we have a strict no nudity in the hotel lobby policy i died laughing my husband finally realized he wasn't dressed looked at me and my pajamas and started to grab kleenexes to cover up the whole way up to the hotel room in the elevator he was upset i didn't tell him i couldn't stop laughing so i began to cry we looked like a hot mess getting out of that elevator best vacation story ever when the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night at my dorm a few weeks ago while my roommate was gone i practically fell out of my lofted bed threw something on and filed outside with everyone else so disorienting the experience effectively halted that habit of mine lol the first time that my brother introduced his wife girlfriend at the time to our family was on a ski trip we rented a condo near the resort we were skiing at long story short an unfortunate series of events ended up with that condo burning to the ground when we were awoken by the fire my dad rushed out of his bedroom butt naked to fight the fire the first time my brother's wife met my family she literally had to fight a fire using mugs of water from the sink alongside my nude father every winter night when the sheets are ice cold upon initial descent but the discomfort of wearing clothes outweighs that so i know what you mean not really backfiring percent but this made and makes my wife laugh whenever she thinks about it a few weeks ago we heard a crash at about 2 30 a.m i groggily grabbed my nine millimeters short gun is locked up downstairs while i research new safes and went to investigate i cleared the entire house back naked i went back to bed locked my nine millimeters back in its case next to my bed and laid down about two minutes passed before we both started laughing hysterically about me walking through the house naked with a gun naked gun the more live live action remake getting my period in my bfs bed i'm on a bcp that makes it impossible to know when it's coming on maybe every four weeks maybe heathing spotting a week later i just don't know fortunately he is super chill every time it happens i think being with him induces my periods he goes out of town for a week or two nothing he comes back sploosh your body is basically going oh crap our dong is back time to turn everything back on again when a sheriff knocked on my door at 2 a.m in the morning and i completely forgot i was naked then of course as i'm scrambling out comes my son this happened to a friend neighbor of mine it was a warm summer night and my friends a couple that lived across the street from me at the time woke up to their phones blowing up from calls and texts from their next-door neighbor the neighbor said it looked like their house was on fire so he got out of bed naked ran to the other side of the house where the massage room she does massage work out of their home has flames crawling up one side of the wall a candle was left on a small wooden shelving unit and the unit caught fire my naked friend picked up the fiery unit and ran it outside to the backyard and hosed it down while the next door neighbors were watching over the fence to make sure it was taken care of his wife was inside pouring water on the flames that had reached the floor and part of the wall all was fine they put it out but the neighbors got a good show i used to work as a restaurant manager so my days off were like tuesday and thursday which meant sometimes i'd drink myself silly on a monday night because all my friends were working but so one such monday night i drink a bunch and wake up in my bed hungover on tuesday morning then i noticed the door to the bedroom is closed this is weird because my wife and i sleep with the door open or else the cats scratch at the door all night so i peek my head out of my door and i see that the door to the spare bedroom is cracked open this is also weird because the door to that room is always kept closed something is wrong and i'm still naked i decide to investigate i peek through the crack and the door and there is a man in there with a toolbox setting up plastic tarps i immediately think that this mother sucker is in there setting up a kill room but he hasn't noticed me i have the drop on him so i kick the door open still naked and charging screaming wh oh the frick are you he screams that he's maintenance and he's here to fix and paint the ceiling i tell him i didn't put in any maintenance requests but the tarps and tools are starting to make sense i told him to stay there while i finally put clothes on and turns out he was in the wrong apartment but that's the story of how i almost killed a maintenance guy who i thought was in my apartment to kill me while naked both me and husband used to sleep naked there was an earthquake in the very early morning so we each grabbed our two kids and ran outside just in time for the newspaper man to see us if someone sees me naked when i don't plan for them to then that's their own fault if i am in my room it's fair game and i don't have shame or care really other people have penises and vaginas usually one or the other but i am not judging so why does it matter if they see mine just don't stare and we won't have much to talk about lol i like the cut off your jib my wife and i have an annoyingly shaped emperor size duvet that's very slightly off square at seven feet by six feet we've lost count of the number of times we've put the duvet cover on at 90 degrees and ended up with empty sheets of the side and bunched duvet at the top and bottom it's far more allering than it sounds especially when the first person into the bed has snuggled down without noticing there's an issue and ends up in a bedding tug of war when the other sleeper arrives one evening my wife had retired early with a bad back and had started watching netflix in bed an hour later i came up stripped off climbed into bed and discovered i'd been left with a foot of thin covers with no chunky comforter inside after much grumbling she agreed to let me turn the cover the right way around as the alternative was going to be a crappy night's sleep for both of us so there i am but naked in the middle of the room wrestling with half an acre of cloth while i try to turn the damn thing the right way around eventually i succeeded plonked it back on the bed and my wife lay down and pulled the covers over me and that's when the problems started as i began to doze off i noticed a strange sensation from my groin it started a little tingly and then i dunno kind of got cold and hot at the same time it was hard to explain but it wasn't going away and it was getting stronger as time went on it started mildly stimulating with the expected results that would have but quickly escalated to being rather uncomfortable i mentioned it to my wife at the stimulating stage and she reminded me she had a bad back and wasn't entrusted but as the pain increased and i began swearing she started getting worried as to wtf was going on what had actually happened was my wife had slathered deep heat mentholatum in the us on her back before going to bed a small amount had rubbed off onto a patch of the duvet cover without her noticing when i turned the cover around i'd inadvertently put that patch directly over my wedding tackle and quickly discovered why they advise against using it on areas of sensitive skin it took 15 minutes for me to stop swearing and a full hour for the burning to calm down to a level where i could actually get to sleep the only good thing about it was it cheered up my poorly wife no end although her gales of laughter did nothing to improve my mood there are youtube prank vids of people putting deep eating and suspecting victims boxer shorts to have indirectly experienced the aftermath i can honestly say those people are complete wankers i have slept naked most of my entire life until a few years ago i was awoken around midnight by my crying and shaking 17 year old son he was super stressed about school and hit the breaking point one night when he couldn't sleep from worrying about it i got up immediately and hugged him to comfort him when tweeted his room and sat on his bed and he cried on my shoulder realizing i was naked and this might take a while and be a bit weird for him i threw on some underwear and a shirt and we went downstairs to sit on the couch and talk about school life and his future after that night under [ __ ] were every night i lived alone on the first floor of a two-story four-unit apartment building and i got up randomly and ran out of the front door of the building the main door to the building locks automatically the cold air hit me and i came to realizing i was locked outside naked panic sets in i ran around to the back of the building to try to get into the back door that goes directly into my bedroom of course if it's locked and in my panic i started to kick the door to try to blast it open well this wakes up my neighbors and a woman comes out sees i'm naked and freaks out oh my god he's naked her boyfriend comes out and sees me and yells what the frick are you doing i'm able to explain to him what is happening and he agrees to unlock the front door to let me back in i run back around to the front and he lets me in and says that he never wants to see me again at 7am i hear a knock on my bedroom door and it's the landlord coming to see wtf happened he's a cop and was pretty chill about it said i was lucky to not get arrested it also happened to be the day that i was moving out to a new place so i'm sure my neighbors saw me moving and thought i got kicked out that was 11 years ago and i've slept in a pair of shorts ever since what random acts of kindness have backfired on you making you wish you never attempted them to begin with when my family and i were on 4th of july vacation we were hanging out on a beach my dad sees a girl splashing and screaming for help out in the water apparently these two girls who were probably somewhere around 12 got caught swimming too far out one girl got a hold of a boy and the other was starting to panic he runs into the water and swims over to her he gets a hold of her and starts to swim her torso but she is panicking and struggling and trying to push him under to keep herself up the girl's family was in a boat not far away they see the commotion and come rushing over they thanked my dad and asked if he wanted a ride back to shore when they get into the boat her dad asks if she's okay and she tells them he was trying to look down my swimsuit it was a very quiet ride back my father is a vietnam navy vet on vacation with his wife and kids building freaking sandcastles when he recently told me this story i was young and only vaguely remember it he said to me what the frick am i trying to get a peek at an 11 year old squirrel t props to your dad for giving me the term squirrel t guy walks up to me while i'm pumping gas and says he's stranded and needs money for the bus i give him two dollars he walks inside the gas station and buys some mentos candy we make eye contact when he leaves his smirk is ingrained in my memory it makes me sad to think of this i was on a charity project in ghana and gave a kid i had become fond of a toy which she prized i saw her very bruised back the next day at the school but she won't tell me why sir was badly beaten her mum brought the toy back that afternoon and apologized for her daughter stealing it she promised that the little girl would think again before stealing in future i tried to explain but the mother didn't believe me and thought i was covering for the little girl she was about six gutted that's horrible if it makes you feel any better i was in a similar situation as that girl when i was younger if she was anything like me she never blamed you and really appreciated what you did woman dropped her wallet in front of me while walking down broad in philly caught up to her to return it and got accused of not only taking her wallet but taking the money that was supposedly in it it was a good day old scam i hope you didn't give her any money my wife donated a kidney to a stranger all bills were supposed to be taken care of by the recipient we have been told that their insurance didn't pay enough and a collection agency is after us for ten thousand dollars this started nine months ago the answer to this is your local tv stations consumer reporter they will eat up this sort of story it gives them a chance to bash the insurance companies and hospital also unless you sign something agreeing liability tell them to to go pound sand i flagged someone down on the highway who was driving with a flat tire we both pulled over and they explained they didn't have a spare i offered to drive them to the closest convenience store and back for a can of fixer flat not only did they ride in my car silently offering no thanks but they also stole my wallet out of my console when i wasn't looking about six years ago i was on lunch break and went to grab a sub at subway there was a homeless guy outside the store asking for change and i asked him if he wanted a sub he said sure and i invited him into pick we go inside and stand in line at first i thought everyone would stare at the homeless guy but i was rather surprised when nobody did we had two people ahead of us and i was just chatting with the guy and learned that he lost everything between the bad stocks and a cheating wife found out his name was danny when we were next in line two police officers walked in and stood behind us not very unusual for this subway but the dany got a little nervous i started to place my order and told the other lady behind the counter to make him two of whatever he wanted right then the cops just grabbed danny and slam him into the ground and start to cuff him no warning no verbal commands just whipped him around and face planted him on the tile i turned and tried to talk to the second officer who pushed me away from him and into the drink cooler door which then shattered the other customers bolted outside while danny was dragged outside by his cuffs as i stood up from the push the cop grabs me and rolls me over onto the broken glass and cuffs me now i carry a concealed firearm so i tell the officer as he is cuffing me and while i am cuffed freaks out and draws down on me who is laying face down handcuffed and yells don't freaking move i calmly tell him where it is and he rips the holster from my belt loop and tosses it onto a table where a few customers are still within reach another officer walks in and helps me up then dusts the glass off of me he asks me what happened and i relay the story to him he uncuffs me grabs my pistol and clears it then hands it back to me and says don't put it away until you get to your vehicle i agree and walk out with them there is dany in the back of the patrol car all bloodied up and obviously shaken i asked the officer what the problem was and unbeknownst to me danny was asked repeatedly to leave the property when i brought him inside it was considered criminal trespass and he was arrested i told the officer that i invited him and for food and he said it didn't matter a few minutes later the aggressive cop walks up to me and hands me a paper i look down and it's a notice of trespass for the same subway and the entire shopping center at first i didn't know how he got my name and info but when i got slammed i had my wallet in my hand and he must have picked it up i took the no trespass to court and got it overturned with ease but found out danny had to do jail time because of previous offenses and being a repeat offender i even had a meeting with his judge about him and the judge didn't care at all was walking in the park on a really hot day and there were a bunch of kids fighting over two freezies mister freeze ice pops whatever your region calls them now these things are like 30 cents so naturally i buy like 20 and go back and hand them all out the kids are really excited as i'm walking off i turned to see an adult collecting the freezies back while looking at me i kept walking being all oh well her problem two cop cars tracked me down and questioned me for three hours now nobody gets ice creams freaking paranoia seriously an exceptionally small act of kindness or courtesy that backfired i was at walmart a couple days ago picking up a new gears of war game there was one associate in electronics so i waited my turn to be helped we retrieved the game from the display case and returned to the register to find a man standing ready to check out as i had between there first the sales associate asked him to step aside so i could complete my purchase this guy backs up but not before rolling his eyes looking back at me and scoffing i am in no particular hurry so i encourage him to go ahead no problem the customer proceeds to berate the cashier wow i've never been asked to step away before where do you learn those service skills ricky are you the only one here if i were your manager i'd get someone else back here who knows how to treat customers ricky i am a retail manager and this crap makes my blood boil i tell the guy hey you're kind of being a dong just make your purchase and go he replies look i'm a customer service trainer for walmart i'm a little higher up the chain than ricky here he needs to learn to take case of his customers i am just seeing red at this point you mean me because i was here first and i am just as much a customer as you guy finishes his transaction walks away i walk up and apologize to ricky guy hears me and returns don't apologize for me man you do i will apologize for you because you're freaking butthole this guy is doing his job you don't need to harass him in fact ricky is there a customer service number on your receipt yes great and what's your name sir i want walmart to know who the biggest douchebag that works for their company is named guy didn't give me his name surprisingly talk to management on my way out to make sure they were aware that ricky did everything the best he could frit people sometimes i like this comment because it's not sad in college during the winter we had a heavy snowstorm everyone was walking to class and i was heading down the outdoor steps to the basement where class was a girl was walking in front of me she slipped and began to fall without thinking i reached my arms under hers to try and prevent her from falling in doing so i slipped and my legs went forward under hers she landed on top of me and literally rode me like a sled down the stairs she stood up and walked away never helped me up never said thank you never asked if i was okay that hurt like a mother sucker too got drunk at the flora bummer in gulf shores a couple of years back as you do when drunk at the floor obama i went across the street to the waffle house for some belly spackle to keep a booze down after shoveling my face full of patty melt and vanilla coke i discovered someone's cell phone on the ground in the parking lot figured i'd be a good guy and try to return it end up texting the last person in their message role and getting in touch with the owner the next day while i was on my way back home b was a serious c from the word go she ends up berating me wanting to know how i ended up with her phone why i wasn't still at the beach blah blah blah i told her look just text your address to the phone and i'll mail it back to you at no cost she agrees and then calls me back immediately to demand that i meet her somewhere between my house and the beach to give it to her i told her she was making things difficult and that i was trying to do the right thing to which she replied that i was being difficult calmly rolled the window down and huck that pose somewhere along highway 59 in folial with her still on the other end i really hope she heard it bounce well i tried to help an alcoholic friend get sober not only did i lose her as a friend but i also lost her father as a friend because she severely bad mouthed me to him as she stole from him the whole time also not me but my husband tried to stop a guy who was beating up his girlfriend in a bar parking lot back in the 80s he pulled the guy off her and told him to leave her alone the next thing he knew the girl jumped on his back hitting him in the head and face with her shoe screaming at him to leave her boyfriend alone my husband grabbed the girl off his back by the scruff of her neck and dumped her on the ground he told her well frick you then i guess you like being treated like crap he told her boyfriend carry on then and walked away got in his car and left that's unfortunately common third party intervenes woman being beaten abused immediately views the third party as the aggressor and her abuser whoever as the victim and gets defensive moved a friend of 22 years out of her house with a husband who beat her placed her in a spare bedroom in my house bought her clothes got her a job and money to buy things she needed took her to doctor's appointments found out four months before my wedding to my fiance whom i shared a house with that they were making sweet love to each other while i was at work so i lost my house was in his name till after the marriage the ten thousand dollar i put into remodeling it my jeep and all the money already spent on the wedding they now live there together and the bee does not even work hum i got the short end of that good deed that's just fricked up on so many levels that's not just random acts of kindness that's full on give a part of your life to someone kindness and getting spit in the face in return very sorry to hear about it hopefully you will find a way to rebound as it appears you know what you are doing in life to be successful and independent i was a third grade teacher a couple years ago my class went on a field trip to the dc zoo i split up my class into groups of four five to go around with each chaperone and i gave myself a group as well it was hot and i only had five kids with me so i offered to get them frozen ices at like five dollars each one student got blue took a bite and told me he wanted red instead i told him sorry that i didn't have money to throw around like that and to try to enjoy the ic he threw it on the ground and cried this child was never my favorite student but after that day row i was trail running and noticed a tree had fallen down across the path and i passed a mother with a stroller enjoying the bright sunny day so i without hesitation went to go move the tree out of the path so she could continue on i picked up the tree and threw it on the side of the path all of a sudden i hear a noise then a pain on my knee it was then i noticed the swarm of bees coming after me and little stings all over i started running and stopped after about five minutes only to find out the bees were still chasing me i started freaking plane striding like a freaking gazelle all the way back to the car i had an allergic reaction and spent three days in the hospital tl dr i moved a tree out of a path so people can use it spent three days in the hospital from multiple bee stings this is the most genuine backfire this wasn't someone being a pick to you this was simply bad luck not me my brother came home with this story from his trip to taiwan so he was seated in a fully seated bus and a lady was standing in the aisle so naturally my brother offers his seat to her pretty bold of him since he does not speak the tiniest bit of chinese and this lady starts telling my brother off in mandarin she was pee and was practically screaming at him inside the bus my brother takes his seat and buries his head in his hands he finds out later that culture dictates you only offer your seat to the elderly and this woman was insulted cuz i guess she wasn't that old from what i'm gathering from the comments in this thread and many others it is best to just forget all manners and just sit in your seat like it's a freaking throne because no good will come from offering your seat to old women i once offered to carry an elderly lady's cart up the subway steps which she accepted but only on the condition that i never be more than two steps ahead of her list i steal her stash of plastic bags and empty cookie sleeves what i hadn't anticipated was her superlative slowness she stalled at the foot of the stairs for a good 90 seconds before making her first move following which he took a break of about three minutes around a quarter of an hour had elapsed by the time she reached the fifth step at which point she sat down leaned her head against the wall and appeared to prepare for a nap i managed to prod her awake after a minute or so prompting her to accuse me of attempting to grab the goodies the whole ordeal took a little over 20 minutes her brief nap it must be said significantly improved her top speed over the second half of the ascent and as she reached the penultimate step i deposited her metal crafty povercart on the landing and bad her the best of luck reaching the surface before winter set in she grumbled something about the youth of today being unhelpful and ungrateful and then sat down for what i assume was a second nap to prepare her for the final push to the summit tl dr step break step break step break step break step nap poke step break step break step break step grumble nap this was hilarious you have far more patience than i do after witnessing first hand how incredibly rude so many people act towards cab drivers i started sitting in the front seat of taxes and having conversations with the driver we talk about where they were from their families how late they were working etc i had a lot of interesting conversations plus most seemed to genuinely enjoy the company and many actually thanked me at the end of the ride then one time while studying abroad in vienna i started talking to a cabbie who picked my friends and i up from a bar we were chatting about his wife when suddenly he put his hand on my thigh tried lifting my skirt and continuously attempted to grope me as i slapped his hand away repeatedly thankfully we were right by my dorm so i jutted out of the cab and we obviously refused to pay the cabbie threatened to call the police and one of my friends ended up punching him in the face then the cabbie stalked the dorm that i lived in for the next week and stared at me every time i left and now i sit on my phone in silence in the back of cabs tldr tried to befriend a cabbie got groped got stalked i was standing outside the bar and heard a woman crying in the parking lot i walked over towards her and asked if she was okay some drunk butthole who was about 60 i'm 22 came over and told me to leave her alone i said i was just asking her if she was okay and he punched me in the head i basically asked him what the frick was his problem and walked away offered to make a friend a dress for her grad since she was always complaining about how poor she was we found a design she liked bought the material i didn't charge her for anything and i was literally two seams away from being done when she posts on facebook that she bought a grad dress out of curiosity i check the pictures lo and behold she's there in a 500 dress that looked almost exactly like the one i was just about done that her dad bought her we don't talk anymore i was at the seven stroke 11 by my house the afternoon before thanksgiving i wanted to do something nice it was the holidays and i thought i'd grab something to eat for the four or five homeless people that hang out in the parking lot why do seven stroke elevens everywhere attract homeless like a magnet i figured bananas were portable nutritious and easy to eat i grabbed a bunch and handed them out to the young couple the crazy guy the scary guy and then went to give one to the crazy scary lady and she started screaming at me calling me a bee and telling me she wasn't no freaking monkey who eats bananas repeatedly everyone was staring and she ranted on calling me a racist and whatnot she was the only black person of the whole group that i had given them to i wasn't targeting her with a banana i was just trying to be thoughtful everyone who had just come out of the store or just pulled in to only witness this conclusion was staring at me as if i were wearing a white hood they attract them because they have clean bathrooms cheap drinks and people willing to give them money if they ask big enough this happened around new year's we had just had a snowstorm the sidewalks were not shoveled i saw a woman in a motorized wheelchair putting along the side of the road it looked really dangerous i was on the cell phone at the time she waved me down told me in broken english that her wheelchair was running out of power i ended my call this woman told me she just needed to get to the firehouse four blocks away that had a power plug so being a nice guy and fearing for her safety i decide to help her i start pushing the wheelchair and it loses power now motorized wheelchairs are freaking heavy so i'm suffering and she seems to be unfamiliar with the operations toggling the controls which would engage the clutch and make it harder to push after about a block and a half of this she decides to help and climbs out of the wheelchair wait wtf she can walk so i was pushing a dead motorized wheelchair with a totally capable person in it in broken english she tells me she bought the wheelchair at a yard sale a few blocks so she could sell it now i'm pee i had assumed she was disabled but i don't say anything i struggle with the freaking wheelchair she's of little help just walking alongside and giving it a distillatory push every once over a while we finally get to the firehouse we push the bell no response go round and ring another bell finally a fireman shows up i tell him the woman's wheelchair has run out of power his response what do you want me to do i motion at her to talk to him and walk away to let them figure it out i felt totally taken advantage of as soon she stood up i should have told her she was on her own so if you were in arlington mma around new year's and saw a black guy pushing an asian woman in a wheelchair that is what this was about absolutely ridiculous it would be one thing for her to say i need help get up and help you push to sit there and make it more difficult sometimes the state of humanity makes me really depressed a couple of years ago as a favor to a friend i redesigned his small businesses website for free granted i'm not an awesome designer but it was a massive improvement i took them from practically geocities to a decent wordpress site nobody once said thank you and then a couple of weeks ago they found a new web guy to read to their site my friend invited me to a meeting to look at the mock-ups and tell them what i thought for half the meeting staff members crapped on the old design complained about how awful and tacky it was apparently my friend never told anyone that i was the guy who made it was in a bus and saw this girl on her way to school with a caterpillar creeping on her shoulder i don't think she was aware of it i removed it without her permission she started to cry awkward don't use your penis next time what's the worst thing someone tried to correct you about something you're specialized at my wife has a friend who studied zoology who once told me that cows can't run or jump i grew up with them i more than once had to run after or away from them after they had jumped a fence the cows are freaking fast when they want to be our neighbors had a cow who learned how to kneel down and crawl across cattle guards she roamed the area for years couldn't be contained wrote software for a large interactive art piece it was presented in such a way that it encouraged self-discovery of how it was used but it wasn't difficult and most people picked up on the main operation of it very very quickly as it should have been there were three stations that interacted together but separated by some distance i see some guy very flamboyantly operating the device it created music lights and fire and explaining how it works to a small crowd around him i'm intrigued so i walk over to hear him he's figured it all out and basking in the adulation of those around him but he's wrong like way off so after listening a bit i gently and politely point out how it differs from what he is saying he looks around at his crowd and tells me i'm way off and don't get it that i just don't understand this is more perplexing because simple operation and observation contradicted what he was stating anyway i again politely explained a bit more to further illustrate where he was wrong he told me i just didn't know what i was talking about i hesitated and considered just thanking him and walking away but then thought better of it i looked at him and told him i wrote the software for what he was doing and had been writing and running it on my laptop at home every night for the last six months the crowd's attitude changed people thanked me and i wandered off it was weird how invested that guy was in being right in the center of attention at least he was polite at the end i work in lightning protection here in the states i do the estimating and the designs for the largest company in the south east have for going on seven years certified through our industries certification company the amount of engineers and architects that love to argue with me about the code is astounding i live that code being i estimate and design systems my main job is to know that code the worst was the army corps of engineers we had a project that their designer designed that was in the big package drawings pretty standard pick out the materials requested and ignore the incorrect design that is how we bid it won it and designed it this would have provided them with a fully certified system in our business a ul master label certification is as close to a requirement for every job as anything can be the two weeks after we submit our design it comes back with a revised resubmit stamp and a very snarky demand from the core that we change our design to the one provided in the bid package i went back and forth on email and calls with the engineers trying to explain to them that their system would not work was potentially a dangerous hazard and ultimately could not be certified or warranted the came back basically with we don't care what you say we know better do it so i did designed exactly like they had and put a disclaimer on the drawing saying there would be issues and we were not responsible a few months go by it's installed and ready for certification they call the inspector out and he fails it without even getting on the roof the army is pee and tried to come back at us i politely forward the countless email chains to the officer in charge now they scramble to get it up to code as a consequence it resulted in us issuing a change order to bring it up to code that was around 75 percent of the original cost of the project god damn it wasted tax dollars via stupidity i see it so much as a government contractor i didn't specialize on it but when i worked at the delhi in my local grocery store i had a guy come in asking for some sliced ham i asked him if he wanted black forest ham honey baked or mesquite ham he looked at me and said it's not mesquite it's mystique i pointed at the sign and label on the actual effingham that said mesquite ham but he still corrected me i gave up and gave him his dang mystique ham this was a good 15 years ago and i'm still mad about it my hometown is mesquite that cracks me up i'm gonna start calling it mystique a new house gets built next door to mine and shortly after the owners move in they knock on my door to complain that my house is built too high i explained that my house was is built on flat ground and their builder has built their house lower and undercut my fence the guy proceeds to give a long winded spiel about how earthworks are done and my house is too high and i have to fix it i then explain that i do earthworks for a living have done the earthworks for 300-plus houses in my suburb alone and around 1200 in the local area i name his builder site supervisor engineer the exact floor levels in the street and the law that says that he has to pay to fix my fence he still hasn't paid and legal procedures are beginning soon i got shut down by this actually i was arguing with my cousin while we were in an old hydraulic elevator i said the hydraulic elevators are slow crap and have far more failures than cable elevators the guy standing across from us laughs shakes his head and says he's an elevator repairman and that's not true at all shamed elevator knowledge very up and down my parents are italian i speak italian and i've had people in the u.s who are one stroke for italian at best or who once ate italian food correct me on the pronunciation of any number of things yeah i've forgotten how to say a lot of things so maybe i'm not a specialist percent that source isn't called gravy in italy sorry my friend and i went to dapa day at disney last weekend where people dress up in vintage where one of disney's photographers asked my friend if she was disneybounding interpreting a disney character and she replied that she was simply a generic dress circa 1955 the photographer began telling us how she was really much more late 1940s and that we may have researched it will he live through it and next time we should look at a picture we are both professional theatrical costumers whose strengths lie in historical costuming and her dress was taken directly from a 1955 catalogue further based on his approximate age and being generous that he may have aged well this man was definitely not older than five in 1955. i'm a holly mechanic and i swear most harley riders have to pretend they know everything about their bike i don't even argue with them anymore i just tell them what's up and if they want to debate about it i say okay and walk away lol i know a guy who built his holly entirely or almost entirely from spare parts his party trick is to ask other enthusiasts what year model it is the correct answer is all of them you wouldn't believe the number of times people tried to tell me that people only become diabetic if they eat too much sugar and insist they are right i'm a type 1 diabetic diagnosed at 14 months was i drinking soda from my bottles and using ring pops as pacifiers then on how my dyslexia affected me my own dyslexia not the concept of dyslexia but my day-to-day functioning i know when and how it impacts me and the difference to forgetting my glasses and being unable to see things at a distance i have a master's degree and a lot of people refuse to believe i'm really dyslexic because i can read people without there it constantly try and quote various laws about being able to order alcohol when up with parents i work in a pub which is part of a chain we're regularly tested for challenge 21. no i'm not handing you a pint when you can't prove you're old enough and wouldn't be willing to pay the 1000 pound fine i'd receive oh boy where do i begin i'm a professional music producer i've been for years my productions get great reviews from people and are often singled out by music magazines and other industry professionals people who know what they're doing are nothing but nice and supportive but i get crap from salty bedroom guitarists all the freaking time seems like every time i produce a young band there's this one guy there who thinks he knows it all because he watched a youtube video the bass knob on the amp should be set at 10 because five years ago i heard that to monty sets his bass knob at 10 there should be no effects or editing on the vocals because black sabbath in the 70s didn't have vocal effects double tracking guitars what the frick nirvana had one guitar player and they were the biggest band on the planet we're recording only one take comma black sabbath in the 70s didn't have vocal effects yeah but they did have aussie freaking osbourne and you ain't him i'm not really specialized but already to tried correcting me about the geography of my country norway claiming that it was very much flat like all the other nordic countries and he refused to believe me when i told him that it's the opposite and it's filled with mountains i have worked in a tire garage for nearly 10 years and am female i can't even count how many times people try to tell me how to do my job no you can't cross rotate my tires you will break a belt the tires will explode sir we haven't sold bias ply tires in over 10 years we only sell radial tires and the way i'm rotating them is specific to the drive axle of your vehicle or my personal favorite sitting there is a customer lays into me for 30 minutes about how we sold them magnetic tires i never had a nail in my tires until i bought your tires i've had three repairs since i bought tires from you guys this is a stunt to make money off of me if only i knew how to make rubber magnetic i'd be so rich doing all my free repairs lol magnetic tyres that's a good one wow that's why he wanted buyer supplies he knew you guys magnetized the belt in those newfangled radial tires to make money off people for a short time i was teaching in a school and at the end of the year an inspector visited to go over the way i had corrected the final exams he insisted that the answer to a particular question was not the one i said was correct he was the one who had written the question i argued with him that i was very sure that i knew what i was saying i had written a thesis about this particular topic it took a lot of effort not to punch him in the face well you might have known the right answer but he knew the answer that was supposed to be given lol i'm a climber people tell me to wear gloves all of the time there is a form of climbing where gloves would be somewhat acceptable although even then a bit questionable but in free climbing bouldering you cannot wear gloves because your fingers actually allow you to grip onto smaller pieces of rock i totally get you got asked that question 2 a few times and then offered the people to join me and wear gloves one person joined me once and tried it seriously with those thin woolen gloves and she realized she had been wrong she is now my reference person if someone asks a question again i had to leave our welding for this reason i'm a welder on nuclear submarines with over 14 different x-ray welding qualifications at this company alone i would constantly get into arguments with people who are new and have no real world experience with welding the amount of wrong information being thrown out left and right over there is insane there are plenty of very knowledgeable folks there but they are overshadowed by the ignorant yeah it's one of the more amusing aspects of reddit everyone sounds authoritative and experienced and there's no real way to know if that's not so but once you know a topic it's amazing how full of crap most people are i'm an identical twin and a big biology nerd i had someone insist that fraternal twins are paternal twins and explain why she'll have some bc they've leapfrogged through her husband's family aww that's rough don't know how her husband's jeans will get her to produce two eggs though i was reading a fertility book the other day and i never realized but identical twins isn't associated with family history genetics my height i'm six feet ten guy comes up and says he's six feet ten so i must be like seven feet nah man you're six feet six maximum and then we went back and forth about that for a bit also had the other side of that coin where someone will ask how tall i am and i'll reply six minutes and 10 seconds and they just straight up won't believe me and will tell me i'm lying like what why what would i possibly stand to benefit i studied history at uni and worked for a while as a tour guide in prague czech republic i had a customer once on a walking tour of the city go really snarky with me because i called the river running through the city the voltava he declared to the whole tour that that wasn't its name i asked him if he'd heard it referred to as the moldow as that was the german name for the river during the habsburg era when german was the official language but he said no and was i stupid the river was called the danube i pointed out to him that the danube doesn't run through prague and asked if maybe he was thinking of bono no he had definitely read in a guidebook that it was the danube and why the heck was he paying money for this tour if the guide didn't even know what the river was called at which point another taurus in the group showed him her guidebook where it clearly said voltava then another showed him a map and another showed him another guidebook and so on until the whole group had basically showed him what a twas he was being he didn't apologize of course but at least he shut up for the rest of the tour i'll admit i also thought that river was the danube but looking at the map now i see that it doesn't even run close to prague i wonder how people come to that misconception ask to do the rear brakes on a classic vaser i think it may have been a 200 rally not sure it was decades ago so the owner and his pal turn up with the scooter i loosen off and remove the rear rim and tire loosen the hub nut and go to put the rear rim and tire back on oh hey wait a minute mate what the [ __ ] you doing i'm getting the hub off not like that you're not so i tell them i'm going for a cuppa and a smoke and i'll be back when they've removed the hub four hours four bloody hours they were at it hub wouldn't budge not one millimeter getting bored i go back to them put the rim and tire on screw in and tighten two wheel bolts and using a mallet hit three times in one point then three times 180 degrees opposite rinse and repeat three or four times whole rim tire hub assembly lifts off i charged them one stroke two a day later for a 30-minute job i'm majoring in archaeology i had a guy start talking to me about dinosaurs i correct him and say it's a fairly common misconception but and archaeology are two different fields and i'm studying humans not dinosaurs he doubles down and insists i need to know about dinosaurs because what do you do if you're digging up ruins and find a dinosaur fossil call a paleontologist he smugly tells me i'll be useless in the field if i don't know about dinosaurs and i better start registering for paleontology courses and leaves i still don't know about dinosaurs my friend told me that she's taking an archaeology course next semester and was hyped to learn about dinosaurs i told her that i didn't want to burst her bubble but that archaeology was about people stuff not dinosaur stuff she said i did burst her bubble and that if i didn't want it i should have been quiet i should have let her be excited lol a guy that considered himself to be a music maven tried to correct me when i mentioned beethoven's ninth symphony ode to joy he insisted that js buck composed it when in fact buck never composed any symphonies not to mention that ode to joy is one of beethoven's most famous pieces i used to work as an outdoor guide on one of the channel islands off the coast of southern california once i was hiking with a pair of women in probably their late 40s or early 50s they were asking me all sorts of questions about the natural history of the island mostly simple stuff but they had a lot of questions then one of them hits me with this gem so how often do you guys go out to feed the whales and dolphins i was genuinely confused for a moment what did she mean i asked her well you have to make sure all those whales get to eat when do you go feed them it must be expensive to have enough food for them all this woman thought that every day our boat captains would drive around the channel tossing fish to dolphins and whales until they were all fed i have no idea where she got this considering she'd come over on that very boat it took me a little while to politely convince her otherwise i'm a food scientist so this happens basically all the goddamn time one person insisting that message gives her terrible migraines she was eating pizza at that exact time someone insisting that you should drink apple cider vinegar to alkalize your body to prevent diseases i point out that's an acid he insists it's not apple cider vinegar another person telling me how a gavi nectar is so much healthier and how i should replace all the sugar i eat with it i tell her it's just a fructose glucose mix and you might as well use corn syrup she got really mad like irrationally mad there is so much misinformation about food that this is basically constant for me i'm a knife maker a friend tried to tell me that the curve on the katana was forged in no it's make by differential hardness in the quench and then tried to tell me that tempering a knife meant hardening it i see that you actually studied the blade so canadian lawyer here i used to do primarily firearms law i taught a course in firearms law at university i've been consulted on it by lawyers i've had judges tell other lawyers to phone me with firearms law questions i had a law student telling me that i was oh so wrong about firearms law on a particular topic eventually they went and cited a particular case which i politely advise them they were wrong about they keep going on talking about how just because i'm a lawyer and they're a student doesn't mean they're wrong i mean while i'm just holding my tongue eventually someone else chimed in to be like uhhh don't you know who that is and the case you cited was a case he personally argued and one on satisfying af if a heaven exists i think i'd just want to have it be a never-ending series of these moments where i'm the expert i studied geology for some time and i was telling someone about how the area we live in is mostly limestone cause it used to be sediment that was on the ocean surface and they said that place we live is above ground now it could have never been below sea level geoscience classes must not be doing too well i went to school for geology for a bit my grandma pointed to an area across the border in mexico and said that when she was a kid they'd go collect shell fossils from there i got all excited and told her that made sense because this whole area was a big all inland sea at one point she said correct during noah's flood i'm not religious so i just nodded and walked away i give planetarium shows and at the end i hang around so that people can come talk to me ask questions usually it's small children that want to tell me about their favorite planet or something equally cute but there are always old dudes that wait around so they can tell me something wrong they noticed in the show they're never correct most recently during part of my show i put up a picture of the moon and the earth and when i show it i point out that this picture is to scale i.e the size and distance between them is accurate after the show this guy was adamant that to scale is meaningless unless you give a conversion 1 2 5 672. i tried to make a joke a couple times to defuse the situation but he wouldn't leave it was so hard not to tell him he was wrong a friend of ours tried arguing with my wife telling her she had her facts wrong about autism diagnosing it etc she's a doctor of psychology at one of the top children's hospitals in the world and she specializes in autism some guy gal crawled up my book just yesterday about medical tropes having actual married in emergency situations i'm an emt so that sticks out i don't get corrected all that often more like customers who feel compelled to explain to me how to do my job before they let me get to work doing it what's your i tried to do a nice thing but it ended in disaster story not me but my brother he tried to catch a mouse to set it outside so that our cats wouldn't kill it long story short he tried to grab it as it was running under the fridge ended up snapping its neck and killing it accidentally obviously on the subway an older gentleman with a cane gets on drops his backpack on a seat then crosses to the other side of the car for some reason doors close he turns back train starts moving he starts falling towards me i try to catch him as best i can with the speed of his movement plus the train's momentum plus his weight all combined with the weird angle i caught him and i tear the frick out of one of the muscles in my forearm he still ends up on the floor but he didn't hit his head since i caught his shoulders he swings his cane up and shatters the window to the door though thankfully it has a protective film so it doesn't go anywhere he starts swearing so i get up cradling my arm that could well be broken for all i knew at that moment and walked away i didn't need another injury if he was pee i didn't catch him well enough good deeds don't go unpunished i also couldn't ice it for 30 45 minutes because the person with the keys to where i was working that day ended up sleeping in late it took months before i could carry anything with that arm i was throwing my wife off six years a surprise birthday party and went through her phone to get contact info for her friends found recent text messages to an ex-boyfriend saying how much he missed him and wanted to be back with him but she's my ex-wife now i was up for a promotion at work one of my co-workers a single 23yo mom of two kids also wanted it i was far more qualified and knew it was going to be offered to me a gay man with no kids so i had a beating with management and told them i stepped down so she could have the money and experience for her kids three months later she got with this guy and got obsessive texted all day always on the phone arguing with him if he so much as looked at another girl but then started calling out sick all the time and not doing any work at all finally she got fired last freaking time i ever did anything like that again one of my best friends was having a really bad day at work on his first day on the job and started texting me about it while he was on break i snapchated his girlfriend who was a good friend at the time and told her about it while also saying if anyone would know how to cheer him up it's you she said she'd do it and made a surprise date plan to make his day better a few hours after he got back from work later i asked her how it went and she proceeds to rip me a new one for an hour about how if her boyfriend is having a bad day she doesn't need me telling her and she could figure it out herself that's just her being and but giving someone a heads up engaging someone's loved ones to help is a really nice thing to do not as extreme as other people's but for mother's day when i was 13 i tried to make my mom scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast because they were her favorite i added too much milk to the eggs meaning they couldn't cook properly and ended up setting fire to the bacon the sun still ate it all with a smile on her face i used to work as a waitress and had a couple come in and order the all-you-can-eat special they ended up only eating one plate of food so i offered to only charge them for the one plate of food instead of the all you can eat since it's cheaper i made the change to their bill and brought it back to them later they complained to a manager saying that i was being rude to them so since it wasn't a significant discount they thought i was trying to imply that they were poor i was just trying to be nice but dang excuse the heck out of me went to an auto parts store to get something don't remember what saw a woman outside staring under the hood of her car with and i have no idea what i'm looking at sort of vibe it was super hot that day and she had a bunch of kids with her i asked the guy inside if he knew what was going on and he said she needed a new battery but couldn't afford their cheapest one i'm not wealthy but i've always believed in doing what you can to help others and i had already paid my bills and had enough to swing a new battery for her so i told him to grab whatever battery she needed i walked out with the battery and said to the woman i heard you needed a new battery and i know you didn't ask anyone to help but i hope it is okay that i took care of getting one for you or something to that tune she screamed really loud get the frick out of my face white people always trying to help somebody so i got the frick out of her face and returned the battery on the way back to my car i looked at one of the kids and they mouthed i'm sorry thanks for trying i nodded and drove away white people always trying to help somebody that's a first for me in terms of either insults or compliments i washed me girlfriend's clothes once as we lived together it turns out all her things shrunk in the dryer and she had to buy some new shirts we are married now but it was a disaster at the time planned an intervention for my bestie she found out and accused me of trying to turn everyone against her all the friends that helped me plan the intervention suddenly turned on me and not only decided that enabling her addictions was the better route they also told her the intervention was 100 to me and they were forced to go along with it what i was so p i never spoke to any of them again none of them are friends with each other anymore and the addict is with a guy that regularly beats her i haven't seen her in about eight years but people i know have seen her and it's always the same story that she's drunk or strung out when i was a child i thought janitors were paid by how much trash they picked up imagine a little piece of shut waddling up to you dropping his bag of chips on the floor in front of you and smiling at you like he did you a freaking favor as a cleaner i find this hilarious i also want to add that we definitely do not get paid by the amount of trash we collect i may suggest this to the union reps next meeting though i was a manager at a warehouse job one of the young kids came into my office and said he couldn't work for us anymore but also said he can't afford not to he was in a tough spot i told him to start looking and applying for jobs and to use me as a reference offered to let him out of work for interviews and just trying to be supportive in general he stays for about six months past our conversation and starts underperforming drastically he even stopped showing up consistently we had a few conversations about performance attendance and eventually i told him we were done being flexible and he needed to either do his job or stop coming in he stopped coming in then i got a call from the labour board that said we wrongfully dismissed him after investigation they found i had no evidence of our conversation six months earlier and we had to pay him severance unfortunately that was the last time i tried to be so accommodating i was a young manager who learned a valuable lesson here in documentation unfortunately that was the last time i tried to be so accommodating no that wasn't the problem the problem was you didn't document his performance problems this is why write-ups exist one time i saw an old man and his dog alone in the bar he looked sad and alone so i thought i would be nice and go up to speak to him i was slightly drunk and extra friendly he immediately started telling me about how he and his dog were thousand-year-old aliens and i suddenly realized why everyone had been staying far away from him i tried to excuse myself for a few minutes before he pulled a ukulele out of nowhere and started loudly serenading me with a love song in front of the whole bar i ended up on more than one snapchat story that night a couple years ago in high school i would volunteer feeding the homeless once a week through the school basically we made some cheap meals in our cafeteria think mac and cheese pastas salad and would bring the meals to a nearby park where a lot of homeless people camped out the program was run by one of the school's administrators one of the weeks i was helping hand out food i saw an older woman standing off to the side who looked kinda disheveled she didn't have a meal so trying to be as generous as possible i walk over with a meal in hand i offered her the food but she politely declined not one to be turned away easily i insisted that she should take some at this point she kindly informed me that she was mr school administrator's wife i was absolutely mortified and started apologizing profusely she laughed and said it was fine but right after this i saw her talking to her husband and he did not look very happy but the worst part was that the next day i had an interview to be on the equivalent of my school's asb the interview was with a current asb member and a random administrator can you guess who yep the guy whose wife i mistook for a homeless woman long story short i did not get that position tl dr i mistook a school administrator's wife or a homeless woman while trying to be charitable and subsequently screwed myself from an asb position since my interview was with said school administrator i invited the girl everyone hated to my birthday and she made it about herself bullied my friends talked about it openly to people who i couldn't invite or didn't want to talked about me behind my back for months saying that it sucked and her family is so poor yes so i don't do birthday parties anymore really colon my little brother at the time probably around 15 had picked up a huge nug of weed and had nothing to smoke it with i went to work i was 16 at the time and figured he would have the munchies after i clocked out of my shift i called his cell phone to see if he wanted taco bell because i'm a good sister i would pick it up for him well he didn't answer his phone so i called our house's landline and my mom answered i was vague in telling her why i was going to taco bell so late at night but asked my mom if my brother wanted anything thinking that he had already smoked she walked into his room with him in this huge nugget making a pipe out of tin foil she had him flush the way down the toilet and i came home to my very italian mother panicking that he's ruining his life fast forward a decade now i'm the stoner and he's a correctional officer in our hometown i offered to let a good friend i hadn't seen in two years stay at my house for a week while he was battling a tough home situation and drug addiction in another city i thought it would be good for him to come out and stay with me for a bit especially since he was trying to kick his addiction back home but his parents were enablers and also that i missed him because he was my best friend instead he decided to treat the weak at my house as a drug retreat and spent the whole time getting high trashing my house and reconnecting with the wrong people he used to live in my city but his parents kept moving all of them around so there were people he knew here it is also important to note i'm not much of a drug person and was consistently encouraging him to kick his addiction we were best friends since we were maybe seven keep in mind this happened when we were both 18 after he left i cut all ties with him temporarily i've slowly reconnected with him recently and he is still trying to kick his habit but that week with him living with me was heck on earth and very nearly killed my best friendship i had it basically did kill it for a few months guys please don't experiment with drugs especially if you know you are likely to get hooked if not for yourself don't try them for the sake of the people that care for you if you do get addicted you won't be the only person to suffer the consequences the people that love you will also have to go through a battle people do love you don't throw that love away for a short thrill and a long road to recovery tried to help my alcoholic and using cousin a job he was making progress with his alcoholism and hadn't used in a while so i talked with a buddy who runs a landscaping business i vouched for my cousin and told him how hard of a worker he was which is true because he would work me to death when i needed another pair of hands i was very upfront with his shortcomings but was also upfront with his progress and just asked for a fair chance have them my word he'd work i got called a week later and was told my word means nothing now he showed up late left early stole tools and just went missing on job sites i worked in a memory clinic doing diagnostic tests this lady came in with her sons they told me that she had begged to come because she thought there might be an issue with her memory she confirmed this saying if there is a problem she wanted help and medication at the end of the test i asked again if she wanted to know the results she again confirmed i told her that unfortunately she did have a memory problem that from her history she may benefit from medication and i would arrange for her to see the consultant attending in the us i think she then told me in no uncertain terms what an awful person i was that i should be ashamed to do this to people and i was wrong also we shouldn't have sent her an appointment at a request because basically we were trying to trick old people into giving up their independence she was very eloquent me and her sons just sat open mouths classic dementia i once held a door open for an old man who was using a cane and had his arm in a sling and cast i was just trying to be polite but he was totally offended and he proceeded to chew me out telling me that he didn't need some woman to hold the door for him because he was not a [ __ ] it was incredibly awkward first and only time i've ever had to apologize for offering to help someone sir i hold doors for everyone so it's not all about you i booked a hotel room for me and my husband as a surprise a couple of years back it was fairly nice not super high end or anything but over 100 pounds for the night mid-range for a small town like mine i suppose unfortunately the day before we were due to stay there i had a pretty spectacular panic attack and spent the whole weekend in bed feeling sorry for myself not my lovely big cloud soft hotel bed but my own squeaky butt ikea pose bed as the hotel was paid for on a non-refundable basis i thought i'd go on facebook and ask my friends if anyone wanted a free weekend away a girl i knew a little sent me a message saying she would love the room if it was still free she'd not long ago had a baby she was struggling a little and she could use an evening away so i gave her all the details check in times my phone number in case she needed to give it to them and all the other necessary paperwork including the fact that it was a no smoking room i called the hotel and asked them to change the name the booking was in which they did but they couldn't change anything else didn't think it would be an issue at all anyway she went she stayed she had a lovely relaxing weekend and on the sunday night after she checked out i got a very angry call from the hotel manager apparently the room was trashed food everywhere in the carpets on the bed even on the curtains there was evidence of smoking and drug paraphernalia in the bathroom i explained what had happened but as the booking was all done by me with my bank card i was liable they charged me another 100 pounds for the room because they had to clean it instead of let it plus extra for the cleanup i got stiffs nearly 300 pounds for a hotel room i never even got to stay in i messaged the girl to at least get some of the cash back but she blocked me on all platforms it was a lot of money for me and it meant i didn't feed my family very well for the next month or so but hey lesson learned i'll let the room go empty next time better to lose 100 pounds than 300 pounds not my story a friend's mom lives in the sierra nevada mountains one of her husband's favorite foods is cornish game hens so he goes away on a trip and she decides she'll surprise him and by some now i guess at a certain point they're no longer good to eat so just before that point she went to go kill them and prepare them she went to kill one by decapitating it and couldn't bring herself to do it after some time she mustered up the wall to go ahead with it locked one's head off and it literally ran around spraying blood everywhere she was beside herself fast forward her husband comes home and she comes clean at this point they're no longer viable to eat he decides he'll take them over to the river near their house kill them and let the bottom feeders in the river do the rest he throws the first one in the river when he realizes that this deadhead is floating he panics and jumps in the river to get it people swim in this river he comes back to the house deciding the best bet is to drive up to the mountains drop them all off and let nature take its course a day later his mom receives a call from their neighbor the call goes something like this neighbor hey mom you have cornish game hens right mom nervously yes neighbor i've got a favor to ask of you i was in the mountains hunting yesterday and some butthole left six cornish game hens on the side of the road to die i couldn't leave them would you be able to take them mom oh that's horrible sure we can take them the husband ultimately had to kill them and dispose of them lol that is how we ended up with chickens one winter came out to shovel snow six hens and three roosters were eating feed in our front yard guess they saw a farm and figured we'd adopt them instead of letting them starve i work at a gas station and a woman who was obviously going through some hard times paid for two dollars and some change in gas so i set her pump for an extra 15 and paid for it myself i forgot i had bills coming out the next morning and it overdrafted my account because only one was able to go through i hope she really needed that gas because it cost me 45 for the gas and overdraft fee i was at a buffet lunch for work there is this nice looking girl and she had crumbs all over her face somehow so i though i would do her a solid and tell her she said that's my face i look a little closer and see that it is lots of dry skin so that didn't really work out i did see her a little later and she had obviously gone away and sorted it out i decided to double down and told her good work on the face she called me and butthole and now we are friends sometimes if you frick up best to acknowledge it by making a butt out of yourself again is how i often play it so i had a friend a few years ago she was super insecure and was messaging me about how she doesn't like her figure she thought she was fat now picture me a super awkward can't communicate for her life but wants to make people happy girl so i say to her she isn't fat but if she's unhappy with her figure i'd be happy to help her find a sport or diet that works for her so she can feel better she interpreted this as me calling her fat and she told all our friends who decided not to speak to me at the beach some kids ball went in the water and they couldn't swim i was out of the water sitting and i said i could get it for them right before grabbing the ball i got stung by a stingray on my foot a year later a neighbor's dog got out of the house and started running all over the place the owner was an older woman and there was no way she was going to catch the dog so i chased it for about 30 minutes all over the neighborhood and threw the golf course next to our neighborhood once i finally got up to the dog it bit me on the hand and almost got infected frick that dog i had a really good friend one day really good friend comes back from boot camp he flunked out somehow and his mom was kicking him out he was 18 and had nowhere to go he called me and asked if he could stay with me a few nights i bought him a burner phone and basic service on it so that he can apply to jobs fast forward to three months later i'm checking my debit card statements the dumbbell used my debit card to buy league of legends skins he got evicted a second time in 3 months over 25 on a free-to-play game if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 10,947

Rating: 4.884892 out of 5

Keywords: when it backfires, when it backfires on you, backfire, rules that backfired, backfire prank, well that backfired, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: dgE2FDKuJ8I

Length: 128min 2sec (7682 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 05 2021