I’m Surrounded by Idiots

what was your i'm surrounded by idiots moment at a monthly meeting for all the department heads and supervisors the gm went around the room and said does anyone have any ideas how we can make a good impression on the new regional boss who would be visiting nobody said a word i figured heck i knew this person from working together at the previous property i suggested something that he always harped on two hours later i was called into my boss office and told i could no longer attend these meetings later on that night a few of the upper management took me out for drinks and told me that it is expected to not offer any suggestions when the gm asks for suggestions put in my two weeks shortly after it still pisses me off to this day got in a heated debate whether plants would exist without humans because we water them everyone thought plants would die without humans me and one other person were the only ones that thought otherwise i used to volunteer at an animal shelter as a teenager i volunteered regularly and was basically there whenever i didn't have school but most of the younger volunteers are only there for a few weeks in the summer because their parents make them go there was one summer i was training some of the younger volunteers on how to care for the cats and how to properly clean their areas and whatnot they usually work up front with the healthy cats that are up for adoption but that day i was told to take them to the back and show them how to take care of the cats there the back is where they hold the sick cats strays and kittens and moms in the nursery obviously they weren't ready for most of the cats there so their job was to learn how to care for the healthy kittens now every kennel in the back is clearly labeled right on front on whether they're sick or astray if the cat is aggressive whether or not it's been vaccinated what medications it needs all of that stuff so of course that's the very first thing i teach them to be aware of the labels and to come to me if there are any cats they're afraid to work with or any labels they don't understand so like 20 minutes pass and i'm busy mixing one of the strays food with its meds when from the nursery i hear what does feral mean who cares i wanna pet it open it up i rush in just as this juvenile cat screams and lashes out trying to scratch them of course none of them had gotten rabies vaccines but luckily they'd all jumped back in time to avoid getting scratched or bitten i had to close the kennel and drape a towel over the door to help it calm down i couldn't believe i had to explain what the word fear all meant to a bunch of high schoolers and scold them for not following the rules and trying to play with aggressive unvaccinated strays none of them came back to volunteer common none of them came back to volunteer good when i was in elementary school i did a presentation on pocahontas and everyone in class insisted she wasn't a real person i don't even think the teacher backed me up thanks for nothing mrs spell i got into a debate of whether 10 or 100 was the average iq it was obviously 100 but i am pretty sure 10 was the correct answer for them one co-worker told her boss's boss to come down to her office if he wanted something from her one co-worker got a slice of bread jammed in the toaster and poked it with a fork our security guard accidentally shredded his paycheck one co-worker terminated her apartment lease and had a removal company standing in the hallway without having a new apartment lined up my sister-in-law had no clue why her 50 kgs of surplus weight would contribute to her breaking her ankle while walking down some stairs all in one day i took the next day off comma one co-worker got a slice of bread jammed in the toaster and poked it with a fork when i was a very young kid i used to purposefully touch the heating elements of the toaster with a metal knife because it sparked and i thought it was cool luckily i think it had an insulated handle when i was starting my second year in high school in my geography class we were put into groups and asked to find certain countries we were to find brazil and the other four people in my group insisted that the entirety of africa was brazil come on everyone knows africa and brazil are two different countries i was walking past an italian restaurant with my brother and sister and my sister exclaimed i wanna try italian pizza and my brother agreed they thought pizza was mexican my brother was in his mid-twenties and my sister was like 14-15 i was the youngest thinking it was mexican as the stupid part italian and american pizza are totally different working in retail i sell phones while i'm on commissions and sales are what pay my bills 90 of my job is helping people do things with their phones that they could have figured out on their own with a google search that would have taken three minutes or next to no time at all if they would have just read their dang screen and did what it freaking said no i can't just change your apple password yes you have to call samsung about your warranty they really don't have a reason to speak to me you aren't hearing your ringtone because you turned a volume all the way down i wish i was exaggerating but anyone else who works in a cell phone store can relate when i was in high school and someone asked me how you get green paint i said you mix blue plus yellow and it makes green literally everyone argued with me yelling and called me stupid i immediately lost all faith in humanity couple of young girls at the staff canteen said to the lady serving sausage bombs so what animal is used for sausages is there an animal called a sausage serving lady i don't know i didn't know who i hated or felt sorry for the most in her defense i don't know was a perfectly reasonable answer to the question what animal is used in these sausages i had a friend who never locked her door she thought if they were locked and somebody had break and she couldn't escape she lived on first floor she needs one of them fancy doors with the lock on the inside so she could let herself out of her own apartment in a grade 8 social studies class when i told my teacher the great wall of china could not be seen from space and she said when were you in space and everyone laughed at me when i was the only person in the class who knew that you duty just turn a computer on and you need to turn the monitor on as well so i work at a doctor's office our office is always getting in trouble because we have the lowest rates of physicals booked despite being the biggest office within the system we also have had a huge problem with follow-ups not being booked etc etc so one day at a meeting with all of the front-end workers the boss made a comment about how we need to be checking patients out properly one person who has been there nine years ni any years sitting at checkout goes how do you check out a patient now this wasn't a clarification question such as what would you like us to do differently oh no no no this woman meant exactly what she asked she didn't know there was a check out button or how to schedule a follow-up she's been there nine years she sits at checkout i don't get it anyway so the other checkout women during this conversation told her that there is a checkout button but doesn't know how to tell if they need a follow-up she's worked here two years when you click the button to check out it says on a full separate page that you have to acknowledge in order to complete the checkout process come back in one year for physical needs follow-up six weeks etc etc i looked at my manager in complete agreements and i banged my head on the table i got hired on as an ambulance dispatcher for a company now i'm not an expert in medicine or anything [ __ ] i had some prior experience in related fields so i felt pretty confident going into the job it was a newer department that was created specifically to handle the expansion of an already well-established company what i found out this meant was that the entire department was hired either just before or at the same time as me which i was cool with because i figured that everybody would have come from similar backgrounds nope i found out that for the most part the people they hired were hired for their customer service experience the management decided it would be easier to teach medical knowledge to those with good customer service skills than it would be to hire people with medical knowledge and teach them good customer service unfortunately while that sounds good on paper what it meant was that ninety percent of the department knew nothing they would freak up diagnosis leave out important equipment required for transport and consistently dispatch units that couldn't actually handle patients needs it was a crap show for a couple months before people from outside the department were brought in to train they worked in the same building so they just came to our floor eventually our entire just department got absorbed i guess if i had to find an upside it would be that as one of only a few people who knew their stuff it was easy to get a promotion it's like armageddon i run a car wash and it's absolutely amazing to me how many people want to drive through it it's a big butt conveyor belt none of that chain and dolly bulls where you have to be lined up just perfectly but anyway all you have to do is pay attention to the people working in the wash who tell you to stop via voice and hand sigils along with the 40 inches television and automated voice that tells you what to do and you'll be fine but no i have multiple people daily that i have to scream at them to stop their cars and put them in neutral i mean i suppose that if they want to they can drive on down this track and smash through like fifty thousand dollars worth of equipment but when we do finally get them stopped and they open up their window like what the frick do you want oh yeah sorry it's obviously our fault that as soon as you pulled into the wash behind the wheel of your two thousand pounds death machine that you completely stopped paying attention i'm sure the insurance company would see it your way this is already buried in this thread but i have already challenged find me a brush car wash in america built in the last 20 years that asks you to physically drive through it at whatever pace you want i'll pay pal you 100 bucks if you'll post video and tell me where it's located so i can call them up and ask them how they do it our university has a student council of elected student members before going there i believe those were the best and brightest of all students boy was i wrong it was basically just a crap show of people hurling insults along ideological lines basically liberal versus socialist versus conservative versus green versus etc etc and getting nothing done despite having a budget of around 120 k and the 2020 election cycle is just beginning new next level adios will blossom right before our eyes i volunteer at a cat shelter the amount of people of every ages that can't start a washing machine is incredible same thing with folding i have to explain at least once every week the difference between the detergent and the fabric softener answered a simple question in chemistry class everyone including the teacher told me i was wrong i knew i was right and looked it up i was someone asked what the heck bmx even stands for i tell them proceed to get called an idiot and laughter because bicycles don't have a motto in a first year 12 year old high school in ireland science test a question asked me to name a noble gas and i said krypton i got my test back and the teacher told me i'd given her a good laugh but no i turned her around and pointed at the periodic table and she got real quiet for a sec oh man let me tell you about brother carpenter we fall in that because he only refers to people as bro really loudly so i'm a pippa fitter which means i work on any process piping in commercial and industrial setups so like fuel lines steam lines etc anything that isn't sewer basically thank god currently i'm working at a bp oil refinery which has a whole lot of trades working in tandem together to finish jobs one of the main trades we work with are the carpenters since they build and change up all of the scaffolding and the refinery which is crucial to reaching certain areas anyways the other day we had one come out and help us with some scaffolding changes we started just bullshitting up in he pipe rack while we waited for the new pipe to be flown in he started saying that he doesn't believe in outer space since it's a construct made by the one percent to keep us from leaving the world is flat because he just didn't understand it in school when he was told the earth is round flat sounded easy enough so i just went with that sandy hook and las vegas was the government killing us to take away guns and just a whole list of dumb crap that i don't want to try to remember because i'm afraid it'll kill my own brain cells i joined a college group to help build a race car during one of the first meetings when they were taking apart some components i used the word acrid to describe the smell of some liquid i had smelled in the shop now i wasn't an engineering student but everyone else in the shop was they all discounted me because they thought i made up a word it wasn't that they didn't know the word but refused to look it up and kept berating me for it their attitude towards the whole thing was toxic and i left the group shortly after that i work in hr so every god dang day whether it is a location manager banging a co-worker that is not his wife the manager's wife also works at his location or when i have to explain to people that make several million a year with hardly anything in their 401k that a 401k loan for a boat parking space is not a good idea i have more ask any decent hr representative after a few drinks and they probably got some good stories to tell people that make several million a year with hardly anything in their 401k colon meanwhile if i made several million a year i would be retiring next year the students in my high school biology class were something special at the beginning of the school year when we were learning about the six characteristics of life many of them were surprised to learn that plants are in fact alive in the second semester months later this came back up when discussing symbiotic relationships our teacher was telling us that lycan is a mutualistic relationship between algae and fungus if i'm remembering right it's been like 80 years and a student asked wait wouldn't it be a parasitic relationship between the lycan and the rockets growing on no she explained because rocks aren't alive across the room another student exclaimed wait you're telling me that trees are alive and rocks aren't and at that point two more students near me started murmuring to each other about whether rocks fit the six characteristics of life they thought volcanic activity counted as reproduction and that rocks grow that class was full of moments like this but this is one of like three that i still remember now that it's been almost a decade since i graduated during our presentations in a public speaking class i took in college we each had to do a presentation on a country in the customs norms of that country one student explained to everyone that africa wasn't actually a country but a continent everyone seemed struck by that another student used the word providence instead of province multiple times and the presentation on scotland involved the students saying oh and they celebrate boxing day it's the day after christmas and i don't know i guess they have a big boxing match it was awful i dye my hair silly colors and lately have been different shades of purple i was checking out at the tills when i overheard one woman ask another if my color was natural i turned and looked dead at them and the second woman was squinting at me i raised my eyebrows in a sort of yeah your friend seriously thinks this is natural thing but the squinting woman turned back to her friend and said yeah even her roots are purple so it must be i did a thousand yard stare as i collected my things and left i've heard of purple color dies but it's hard to imagine people are really that ignorant i convinced some people at work to go out for lunch with me because i wanted to tell them that all of our contracts were ending at the same time so we should all negotiate our new contracts together because there was a lot more work ahead when i brought my food back to the table one of them was sliding a bottle of water across the table and the other one was trying to stop it with his head like a railway boom gate needless to say i didn't get to give my workers of the world unite speech needless to say no one got the raise that they wanted idk why this makes me laugh but just imagining your co-workers showing up and just messing around like idiots and you sighing in the background is hilarious i'm in ra and i had a student with the flu show up to a buffet style program and take food they then came and asked me if i would call them an ambulance in half an hour i explained that's not really how emergency services work but i could call them the student taxi to take them to any medical attention they needed for free if they wanted they said no and went up to their room sure enough half an hour later their roommate runs down in a panic saying that they can't breathe we go up to their room and they are breathing fine they just don't feel good probably because of the flu at this point i call campus police and they arrive and ask the student what they want after explaining that we have no issue calling for an ambulance but the hospital is one block away and that's an expensive trip for something that really isn't an emergency when the school is willing to pay for a trip by a taxi that is only a five minutes wait anyways they finally decide to take the taxi to the air they go and are discharged in hours with a diagnosis of the flu and told to rest the next day the student's mother calls and emails any person in the school she can get the email for including people like building maintenance and random residence life staff from other buildings she is upset that i would not take care of her daughter while she was clearly suffering from such an illness apparently the mother thought tight nursing her child back to health her fully adult child when kids in the grungehole elementary school in germany laughed at me when i told what i learned about the universe and earth from science and educational shows like that we don't see how the far away stars and galaxies are at this moment but a very long time ago because light travels a far distance and how the earth originated update i just remember the earth thing was at elementary school but the laughter about the light was in one of the early years of the gymnasium comparable to college preparatory school in the us according to wikipedia i had many moments like this being in the military sometimes i sit in my shop and just put my hand into my face at the dumb crap they do it's like i never left high school i'm so glad i left the army working in the wireless industry for the last 10 years daily it truly is shocking just how dumb people are i have become like a beatdown cop working in the ghetto his entire career there's little to no common sense out there today when i go through my emails spam ordna who in the world would believe that some guy from congo would want to give you one million dollar in exchange for nothing i read about that the scammers make it stupid so only stupid people reply was in fifth grade learning about space the teacher said that the sun was at the center of the galaxy thinking she misspoke i rose my hand and said that no it wasn't the center of the galaxy but rather our solar system the teacher started arguing with me so i argued back saying that the center of the galaxy is a black hole finally another student piped up and said yes the sun is at the center of the galaxy and the galaxy is called the milky way at that point i gave up i moved away a few years later but that student ended up graduating high school as valedictorian there was a family of squirrels in a tree one of the squirrels most likely the mother had a problem with their back left leg and couldn't move well soon the entire eighth grade materialized around the tree where the squirrels were and while most were looking at the cute baby and juvenile squirrels a few started chasing the crippled squirrel not noticing it was heavily breathing moving diagonally and constantly flopping over sorry for my english i still remember it was third grade or something and we just learned about euclidean division 16 divide three equals five are one we had to do some work on our own and discussed it afterwards everyone in this room including the teacher was sure that 800 divide 7 is 100 r 100 shortly after a little talk my teacher had the brilliant idea that it actually is possible to divide those r 100 further which i was saying for the last 20 minutes at that moment i knew that it would be better to trust yourself instead of anyone who isn't an expert at any kind of problem you encounter if you fro just chiming in to say your english is perfectly fine and you have nothing to apologize for and yeah frau was definitely an idiot national guard drill e6 is talking to his squad joe is asking questions about deployment and wonders what it's like dealing with civilians e6 proceeds to tell said joe frick m they are in the way don't waste your time dealing with them and other derogatory and racist crap about iraqis and afghans douchebag was a forbid like many of us were he never dealt with iraqi civilians and was never in afghanistan this is the future leadership of the us military worth noting i made the effort of approaching each other those joes and pointing out how fricked up their squad leader was this is the crap that terrifies and infuriates me about the us military i know that most service members are not bad but it only takes one to kill an innocent civilian these people need to be discharged the first time they try to pull that crap no second chances someone going through college trying to convince me that america was the world's first democracy and his two friends backing him up because they went to the same lecture one time in year five i was with three of my friends in the playground one of them who was from turkey told us that the hottest temperature ever on earth was in turkey at 70 degrees celsius i laughed because i knew that wasn't true but one of the girls agreed with her right off the bat the other agreed with me that the hottest temperature wasn't 70 degrees celsius but didn't think it may have been in turkey she often regarded herself as one of the smartest girls in the class well i know where you are coming from but that sort of temperature can be reached there is a bit of controversy in the area but getting up to about 50 air temperature is not uncommon satellites have measured into the 70s and it is possible to reach ground temperatures of 90 to 100. physics a level practicals and we were supposed to get time taken for a 60 pendulum swings guy and girl close by were counting the seconds off their stopwatch till 60. karate class we were cycling through workout stations one station is hold a plank for 30 seconds or whatever so i start planking and look over at the clock on the wall to time myself as i'm planking annoying little girl comes over starts her plank counts off and leaves after a few cycles someone tells me i'm taking too long because i'm counting real seconds first day of high school history class the first question the teacher asks is when did our country gain independence and after five idiots not and whistlering right she gives up and moves on next she shows a documentary about the finnish war of 1812. literally nobody knows what's going on everyone asks why there are swedish people fighting where are the finnish soldiers why do they use muskets is this 1945 and i wanted to walk out in college i got laughed at when i said hitler was anti-black and the holocaust targeted black people they wouldn't believe me even after i showed them a google search i was also the only non-history major in the room i once had people asking me who hitler was if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 41,734

Rating: 4.9285712 out of 5

Keywords: surrounded by idiots, surrounded by idiots รีวิว, idiot sandwich, idiots in cars, idiots, idiots at work, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap, reddit stories 2021

Id: pkiOt5UAJ0w

Length: 25min 37sec (1537 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 05 2021