What the Hell Happened This Week? - Week of 4/12/21 | The Daily Social Distancing Show

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] sad news for the british royal family and no they didn't get another black grandchild i'm talking about the death of prince philip at age 99 and as heartbroken as i'm sure you were it was nothing compared to how some people felt for a tribe in the pacific islands prince philip's death is also difficult villagers believed him to be a god and he maintained a relationship with them for decades antana one of dozens of islands that make up the pacific nation of vanuatu it's a place of mourning right now for a prince half a world away for the past 50 years villagers here have regarded prince philip as a god and philip known at times for his off-color remarks and gaffes maintained a respectful relationship with them over several decades sending them gifts some were even invited for a visit to the uk anthropologists say there was a legend in vanuatu in the 60s that a pale-skinned son of a mountain god would travel across the seas and marry a rich and powerful woman villagers would have likely seen pictures of philip and the queen in government offices somehow the connection stuck that's right while too many people prince philip was just that mean dude on the crown to these pacific islanders he was literally a god and i know that may seem silly but honestly it's not any weirder than how the british saw him oh my god these silly villagers he's not a god he's a prince which is a real thing that we didn't make up my only issue with philippine a god is that the guy said a lot of racist and xenophobic things over the years i mean how do they deal with that in church every sunday we will now read from the book of philip okay not that page maybe okay no no not that one you know what let's just go straight to communion fish and chips for everyone now you know the thing i found interesting is that they chose him as their god because their legend said a god with pale skin would marry a rich woman and if that's true well then good news guys because i have found a new god for you you know what's going to be awkward is if prince charles tries to take his dad's place now well now that my father is gone i guess you will be looking for a new deity ah you know what we're good we're just gonna convert to buddhism thank you though moving on now to political news matt gates florida congressman and fraternity brother who wants to show you something in his room has been under fire since news broke of him being under investigation over possible sex trafficking but like a karen in a bath and body works he refuses to back down tonight florida congressman matt gates defiant i'm built for the battle and i'm not going anywhere the house ethics committee launching a new bipartisan investigation into gates examining allegations of sexual misconduct illicit drug use and accusations that the congressman may have shared inappropriate and explicit images on the house floor the justice department investigating whether gates and his associate joel greenberg paid women who were allegedly recruited online for sex and travel according to the daily beast gates sent joel greenberg nine hundred dollars in two late night venmo transactions in 2018. greenberg used the same app to send three young women including one who had recently turned 18 varying sums of money that amounted to 900 greenberg made the payments to the three young women with the descriptions tuition school and school okay we have to wait for all the facts to come in but you have to agree this is not a good look for matt gates he venmo's 900 to his sleazy friend and then that same friend then was it to three young women for tuition three hundred dollars for tuition yo this is how much college education you can afford with 300 welcome everybody to physics 101 but at the same time it looks like matt gates is so stupid that he might have paid girls for sex on venmo i mean you think you know a guy and then it turns out yeah you're totally right you do know him you know him pretty well now the reason i don't think it was for tuition is because he wrote tuition people nobody writes the real thing for a venmo payment all right you always write something funny or weird like for butt medicine if these guys wanted to hide that they were paying for sex they should have actually written money for sex then people would have been like well obviously the money wasn't for sex it was probably for his butt medicine and honestly most people don't even use actual words on venmo right you just use emojis you think a guy who hangs out with teens would know that and emojis actually make the most sense if you're trying to cover something up that's how i got away with clown face belgian flag sushi dolphin without the feds ever finding out but let's check in now on iran the last country that america needs to get tic-tac-toe iran has been racing to enrich as much uranium as it can while talks over its nuclear program continue but it just hit a bit of a snag a developing story overseas concerning iran's nuclear program an incident at one of iran's uranium enrichment sites triggered a power outage and there are suggestions that israel is behind the sabotage it comes a day after iran started testing its newest most advanced nuclear centrifuge american intelligence officials say the site could be out of business for months iran may be pointing the finger directly at israel but israel is not officially commenting as of yet on what happened however we have seen some possible hints in the last 24 hours israeli media for their part are citing unnamed sources saying that it was the israeli mossad agency behind this attack and we've seen some comments from israeli officials that seem to hint at that some sort of involvement damn again they did this again yo how does israel keep wrecking iran's [ __ ] like this they sabotaged the centrifuges they assassinated scientists and now they shut down an entire plant i mean we know they probably have people on the inside you don't need to be a genius to figure that out but now i'm starting to think that iran's entire nuclear program is just israeli spies i mean it's probably a giveaway that they gave everyone the day or for passover that was probably a sign right but apparently this blackout was an incredibly complicated operation you see what they did was israeli agents took the whole nuclear site and plugged it into the texas power grid honestly they may never get it back online the one silver lining for iranian nuclear scientists is that they can always blame israel if they screw up on the job you're two hours late for work pavis it's not my fault israel forgot to set my alarm clock oh okay then don't worry about it oh and by the way israel ate your yogurt from the fridge those israelis america's infrastructure is crumbling faster than a nature valley bar which is why joe biden has released an ambitious plan to rebuild his new infrastructure bill covers not just roads and bridges but also manufacturing high-speed internet green energy and even home health care for the elderly and yeah i know that that last one isn't really infrastructure but come on you know biden had to throw a little something in there for himself you know i mean so this bill would be a huge investment in america but because it costs more than two trillion dollars and might actually help people no republican senators are expected to vote for it the good news for biden is that this is one of those bills that the democrats could pass with a simple majority which they do have in the senate the bad news is one of those votes has to be joe manchin west virginia senator and owl on a job interview and right now joe manchin isn't too happy with the bill joe manchin might be a roadblock to the infrastructure plan the one man who may control the fate of president biden's agenda is not making life easy for his fellow democrats senator joe manchin has continued to rail against that 28 proposed corporate tax hike to pay for this thing he thinks this will be broken up into three bills because one of the big arguments is that some things like child care and housing aren't technically infrastructure look he is that 50th vote for democrats and chuck schumer the majority leader can't pass anything that biden sends over without joe manchin you hear that the entire fate of this infrastructure bill rests in the meaty hands of joe manchin and it's not just infrastructure if joe biden wants anything passed from gun control to raising the minimum wage to making var burton the host of jeopardy he has to get joe manchin on board basically if the democrats are britney spears and your mansion is their dad which makes joe manchin the most powerful person in america well second to the guy at cvs was the key to the razor shelf but who is joe manchin and more importantly why is joe mansion well let's find out in our brand new segment please allow me to introduce yourself [Music] [Applause] joe manchin first rose to prominence as the governor of west virginia before getting elected to the senate in 2010 and while all senators talk about reaching across the aisle mansion has made it a personal mission joe manchin believes in working across the aisle and has relationships he wants to focus on trying to get um you know democrats and republicans that work in the same room he has been part of some bipartisan groups that have been trying to come up with some kind of legislation that can get support in the senate from both parties republican senators susan collins of maine and democratic senator joe manchin of west virginia they are the newly announced honorary co-chairs of no labels a group advocating bipartisan solutions in washington everything no labels does is in a bipartisan way it's not from one side ideologically or the other we're in the radical middle that's right joe manchin is in the radical middle he'll eat extra vanilla ice cream now crank up the ed sheeran and make a reasonable amount of noise i will say the term radical middle is a great way to trick your friends into riding [ __ ] isn't it oh the middle back seat oh so radical both of your legs are going to be touching one of ours oh but if i'm completely honest here mansion is kind of right it is radical to be in the middle during this time in american politics i mean democrats and republicans are further apart than my nipples were after that botched boob job so the fact that he can agree with both sides that's extreme it's kind of like being a robot who's also amish we are simple people who believe in the old ways but even if the working across the isle is going out of fashion in washington it makes mansion very popular in west virginia although he's also popular there because he looks out for his people's interests whether it's defending their coal mines or their reputations mtv's newest reality show buckwild has been described as a jersey shore appalachia one thing these shows have in common they stir up controversy before they go on the air as chip reid reports a senator from west virginia is condemning the new program's view of his home state in no way shape or form is this reality and definitely not reality in west virginia if it was your state and these were your children how would you feel about it okay first of all i'm not sure that this is the best argument to make if you care about your state's tourism industry don't believe the reality show this place is boring as [ __ ] but also mansion can relax because everyone is fully aware that reality tv isn't reality i mean think about it the bachelorette makes dating seem like you go ziplining with a woman and 30 other guys that's not real everyone knows that dating is really just grabbing dinner with a woman and 30 other guys ain't nobody's ziplining but fighting for his state wouldn't be enough if joe manchin supported standard democratic policies because don't forget west virginia is an extremely conservative state so anyone who wants to get elected there has to be pretty conservative too and joe manchin definitely is he actually said that he regretted uh supporting hillary clinton said he might be open to supporting donald trump in 2020 if he agrees with him on a number of issues joe manchin tweeting this quote defund the police defund my butt he opposed some of president obama's energy policies and has supported gun rights when president trump brought a bipartisan group to the white house mansion senator manchin from west virginia is the first democrat to say all right i'm on board i want to walk i'll cut federal spending and i'll repeal the bad parts of obamacare i sued epa and i'll take dead aim at the cap and trade bill okay first of all can we just stop this thing where politicians shoot bills in their ads it's tacky it's also kind of disrespectful to the staff at kinkos but it's people like joe manchin that make you realize america needs more than two major parties because he doesn't seem to totally fit into either one i mean think about it joe manchin is in the same party as aoc imagine if other industries work like this like to have a career in music you had to either join bts or the wu tang clan i mean billy eilish is like but i don't fit into either of those you gotta choose billy you gotta choose so mansion is in the democratic party but he doesn't really get along with the democratic party in fact i'm sure there are moments that get really tense when he walks by the democrats in the cafeteria there's probably one seat left empty at the table and bernie always puts his giant mittens on it i'm once again asking you to sit somewhere else so joe manchin is pushing conservative ideas and preventing democrats from passing their bills the question is then why do they put up with him do they love his homemade gazpacho is he the only tenor in the senate barbershop quartet or could he be the only democrat with the upper body strength to open a pickle jar no it's mostly because when it comes to democrats from west virginia he's the best they're ever going to get joe manchin coming from a state that donald trump won with 68 of the vote he's the only democrat who could win in west virginia uh so therefore he's sort of an immovable object joe manchin is one of the 50 democratic uh votes he's the only democrat who can get elected to the senate in from west virginia and so they got deal with joe manchin yeah joe manchin may be a pain in the ass who wants everything done his way but without him the democrats wouldn't have a majority at all and then they wouldn't get anything past he's like that annoying kid on your block who had a pool yeah he hogged all the noodles and wouldn't let anyone use the diving board but without him there's no pool party and then you're just running through the sprinkler like a little [ __ ] so that's joe manchin party pooper radically boring and the most powerful man in america and you might not like him you might wish he was someone else but if you don't want all the roads and bridges to collapse well you gotta get in his pool [Music] afghanistan the country that much like the bathroom at a chili cook-off is almost always occupied the united states has now been in afghanistan for nearly 20 years and today president joseph retreat biden said enough is enough president biden announcing he will withdraw all u.s troops from afghanistan by september 11th we cannot continue the cycle of extending or expanding our military presence in afghanistan hoping to create ideal conditions for the withdrawal and expecting a different result i'm now the fourth united states president to preside over american troop presence in afghanistan i will not pass this responsibility onto a fifth i will not pass this responsibility to the next president wow what a nice gift joe biden is giving to dwayne the rock johnson when he becomes president although to be honest i was secretly hoping that the rock would get to end the war in afghanistan yeah because he would have done it instead but yes the war in afghanistan may finally be over and people it's about time it's been what 19 years no war should ever be old enough to serve in itself i will say though i find a little weird that biden is withdrawing on 9 11. i mean first of all breaking up on your anniversary that's just mean and second should he be basing huge decisions like this on the date that just sounds the best we can't let this forever war continue one more moment but let's wait a few more months for some nice symmetry you know it's numbers i believe in numbers now of course all of this is assuming that america actually does leave because don't forget america has been trying to get out of afghanistan for what 10 years now obama said it trump said it hell this guy said it we are leaving in 2014 period to be fair biden didn't know what year it was when he said that now obviously not everyone is celebrating this decision biden is getting a lot of criticism from people who say that if america leaves afghanistan then it will become a failed state and that is a real danger but on the other hand america has been there for 20 years is it supposed to stay there forever because if that's going to be the case then i mean america should at least make afghanistan a u.s state and the good news with that is it would eliminate afghanistan's terrorism problem completely because we all know that once terrorists are american they're not terrorists anymore they're just frustrated citizens who are having a bad day moving on to sports news the minnesota timbals are the best team in the nba named after puppy dogs and now they're getting to know their new owner former mlb star alex rodriguez is reportedly part of a new ownership group for the nba's minnesota timberwolves here's what the team's 19 year old rookie of the year candidate anthony edwards said about a-rod's ownership bid when he was asked about it by reporters yesterday watch do you have any thoughts about him are you an a-rod fan at all growing up or anything like that what do you think about what he might bring to the team the baseball player alex rodriguez yeah i don't know okay i know he's gonna be the owner but i don't i don't know about baseball rodriguez took the opportunity to introduce himself to edwards in a post on instagram writing hi anthony i'm alex oh okay okay this is embarrassing but let's give the guy a break i mean he's 19. you know there are some things that 19 year olds today just don't know about like either of these things could be a-rod they don't know you can't assume that teenagers are going to know every middle-aged famous person except matt gates because his photo is posted at the security desk in everyone's dorm and to be honest it could have been worse for this kid i mean at least a-rod wasn't actually there god knows i've been in situations where i was talking to a famous person and i didn't know who they were thank you so much for joining me uh mr buddy i am very happy to be here with you trevor i have to say i'm a big fan of your music yeah i found out afterwards that guy is on a podcast and finally some good news for all full-time parents looking to get back into the non-child care job market you can now update your resume linkedin is making changes to catch up with popular demand mothers and fathers who have stopped working to become caregivers will now have a way to reflect that on their linkedin accounts the company added titles like stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home dad and remove the need to link that title to a company or employer thank you if you ask me this is long overdue stay-at-home moms and dads should also have the opportunity to have linkedin do absolutely nothing for them seriously though stay-at-home parents deserve this recognition because before if you were home raising your kids your resume just looked like you were unemployed for like a chunk of yours but parenting is a job i mean it's one of the hardest jobs actually it's also the only job where if your boss pees on you you can't sue them i will say as good as this is employers still have to be careful and make sure that they get all the details because a candidate who's a stay-at-home mom to two young kids that could be a great employee but a candidate who's a stay-at-home mom to 17 cats that's a red flag not to mention this could be bad news for some kids because now their moms could get hired away to be another kids mom mommy don't go i love you oh i love you too honey but susie's giving me dental so i'm out [Music] it has been another week in america which means it's been another week of black people being harassed or killed by the police and by now everybody is aware of what happened to dante wright and lieutenant nazario and although each incident ended very differently they both began the same way it's the same way that many of these encounters begin with a traffic stop and for black people in america these traffic stops are scarier than any jordan pill movie driving while black in many u.s cities police officers are pulling black drivers over at a much higher rate than white drivers black drivers are far more likely than white ones to have guns pointed at them by police to be detained handcuffed searched and arrested those blue and red cherries come on behind you you all of a sudden get a tingle your heart starts to race even when you know you've done nothing there is not a moment that goes by when police are riding behind me where i don't fear being pulled over the fear of driving while black is always present even in life's happier moments like when rona vega's 18 year old son teji won a car on the price's right it was so surreal so much joy and excitement and then reality set in my 18 year old black latino son does not need a car and what's going to be the problems that he's going to encounter god damn think about how messed up it is that the only way a black person would be happy about winning a car on the price's right is if it came with a white person to drive it for them i mean no one should be afraid that they'll be killed because of something they won on the price is right other than maybe one of those pontoon boats those things are death traps i'm pretty sure you're only allowed to drive them if you're drunk but this just shows you how getting behind the wheel is a very different experience for black people in america it's why vin diesel is always the main character in fast and the furious movies you can't have tyrese pulled over for a busted tail light when you're trying to drive out of a skyscraper and you might be thinking well if you're so scared of being pulled over then don't do anything wrong yeah but let's be honest people america's laws always give the police an excuse to pull someone over oh i think you were going too fast i think you were going too slow or your seatbelt your tail light your license plate your registration not signaling tinted windows and nothing is more suspicious than someone breaking zero rules in their car oh cops will pull you over instantly sir i couldn't help noticing that you were driving perfectly and that was a little suspicious to be honest why don't you go ahead and pop the trunk but it's not just traffic stops every encounter between a police officer and a black person is fraught with danger in fact there's something in black families called the talk and i don't know if my white viewers know about this i mean maybe it's one of those things that black people do that you've never heard of before you know like laying edges or putting plastic bags on your jordans when it rains but believe me every black family knows what the talk is we call it the talk a discussion black parents have had with their children for generations the conversation that you and i have to have that that it is tattooed to their survival alerting children about interactions with police where body language tone of voice word choice and other factors in certain circumstances can lead to a rest or worse at some point you will get pulled over and here is how you act put your hands on the uh on the steering wheel make sure the lights are on don't do anything without police permission ask before you get your registration you don't question and challenge the police officers like everybody else can you guys just have to be a little wiser in terms of how you communicate and not agitate the situation anymore that it is submit obey come home the talk will always happen in black households you have to talk about the birds and the bees and then you have to talk about how to deal with law enforcement that's right police violence is such a threat that somehow the most uncomfortable talk you have to have with your kids is the one where you don't use the word semen and look i know that all parents talk to their kids about how to stay safe but for black people it's specifically about staying safe from the police the people whose job is supposedly to keep them safe the police talk simply isn't something that occurs in white households i mean if it did it would be a very different conversation okay now honey if you ever get pulled over by a police officer what do you do you look him in the eye and you say do you know who i am and then he'll apologize and he'll let you be on your way and by the way it's not like kids hear the talk when they're 18. the saddest part about this talk is that because police have a history of treating even eight-year-olds like adults who have committed heinous crimes parents have to give the talk to their kids when they are extremely young as a mom i've always taught my children to you know be strong say what you want to say you know if there's freedom of speech and i'm telling you to do just the opposite i hated to have that with a 10 year old but i got to do what was necessary eight years old you didn't think that was kind of young oh i absolutely think it's young but not too early we've talked about it ever since he became about four and a half feet tall so it's been years now if you wait until somebody's 12 13 and 14 to put that on them it's it's really it can be really difficult it's definitely wrong that we have to go through this but also like we have to remember we have to take it in stride if we want to get to where we want to be in life if i don't listen and understand i could potentially be one of those in a video we actually have a line that we do at our house we practice this thing what is it i'm ariel skye williams i'm eight years old i'm unarmed and i have nothing that will hurt you an eight-year-old girl people what's even more wild than an eight-year-old having to memorize a script to interact with the police is the fact that a fully grown armed and armored police officer would feel threatened by an eight-year-old girl i can tell you i haven't felt threatened by an eight-year-old since i was like i don't know 15. i was a very small child you know when you think about it black people have more education around policing than actual police like no cop starts training at eight years old i mean maybe kids play cops and robbers but that's actually terrible training no because i've never seen a cops and robbers game that ends in a peaceful arrest yeah they're just raining pew pew pews all around the neighborhood so we know that black people know what's at stake and have methods of how to handle being pulled over by the police but the talk still hasn't been able to prevent police violence against black people so maybe it's not black people who need a talk about how to act around the police maybe just maybe police need a talk about how to act around black people before we go please consider supporting hunger ward's efforts to assist the yemeni clinics featured in the film together with their non-profit partner globio hunger ward is helping healthcare workers in those clinics provide vital care to children who are facing extreme malnutrition so please if you can help out in any way go to the link below and donate whatever you can [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Views: 719,007

Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics, matt gaetz, venmo, iran, israel, nuclear, afghanistan, biden, the talk, police, police brutality, police violence, racism

Id: OEpnnfXvyF8

Length: 29min 44sec (1784 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 17 2021