What The Hell Happened This Week? - Week of 1/17/2022 | The Daily Show

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] novak djokovic the serbian tennis star whose name is worth up to 140 points in scrabble this is supposed to have been a big week for djokovic but like my dream of starring in the biopic of weird l it wasn't meant to be the australian open got underway monday without the world's number one ranked male tennis player novak djokovic returned to his date of serbia after being deported from australia for not being vaccinated against covid the australian government said it cancelled his visa because djokovic's presence could lead to an increase in anti-vaccination sentiment and even civil unrest australia requires everyone entering the country to be vaccinated or have a medical exemption djokovic had an exemption because of a recent covet infection but it sparked outrage in australia apparently prompting the government to act an opinion poll yesterday showed 71 percent of australians wanted djokovic deported damn it says a lot about you when that many australians think you're too dangerous to be in their country i mean this is the country whose health minister is a giant poisonous spider oh i get things done and australia is the last country you want to get deported from i mean imagine imagine stepping over 25 hour flights and then immediately having to get on another 25-hour flight i don't know what djokovic thinks is in the vaccine but it can't possibly be worse than breathing in farts for 50 hours straight but then again it's not that surprising that djokovic would be against the vaccine keep in mind that this is a man who says he knows that he has a gluten intolerance and this is completely true because he's physically weaker if he's holding a slice of bread yeah so gluten works like kryptonite for him you think covert is scary but djokovic could die just walking past the bakery oh oh bone burn i will say as hard as it is to sympathize with djokovic it is a little disturbing that the australian government allowed him in then deported him just because they changed their minds i mean if a government can arbitrarily deport an athlete what's to stop them from deporting a whole team and how can we get it to be the new york jets yeah and also i love how the australian government is proclaiming that there's some health component to this as if i mean you've been to australia it's not exactly the healthiest culture they eat terrible food they drink exuberant amounts of beer a blue and onion has like 40 000 calories trevor and you're gonna kick this guy out of the tennis tournament you still haven't kicked out the stingray that killed steve irwin you know what i mean and i can relate to novak djokovic because i've been kicked out of a bunch of outback steakhouses and same as novak they said it was an issue with my visa i don't know what that means but yeah i stand with you what's a guy gotta do to be allowed to play the tournament nine-time champion three-time defending champion world number one tied all time for grand slam what do you got to do trevor get vaccinated yeah all right let's move on to some technology news arguably the most important tech breakthrough of the last few years has been 5g and there are a lot of crazy conspiracy theories you might have heard like 5g causes cancer or autism or it's a mind control tool i mean a few weeks ago it was actually going around that when they turned on 5g anyone who had gotten the covet vaccine was going to explode this is the thing people believe which is ridiculous i mean i have 5g on my phone and i turned it on before we came out here and look nothing happens see but it turns out not everyone who has concerns anyway it turns out not everyone who has concerns about 5g wears a tin hat this morning the major airlines warning of a possible catastrophic aviation crisis beginning in less than 24 hours when a t and verizon are set to launch new stronger 5g technology which would give faster wireless service the concern whether 5g signals could interfere with radio altimeters that's a device pilots use telling them how far they are from the ground and helping them land in poor visibility executives from airlines including american delta united and southwest urging u.s officials to keep new stronger 5g signals at least 2 miles away from u.s airports saying in a letter immediate intervention is needed to avoid significant operational disruption to be blunt the nation's commerce will grind to a halt one union saying its pilots are prepared to ground their planes if the faa doesn't act yeah but how will they know how to ground their planes if there's 5g just me okay look look i'm not saying the airlines are making this up i'm not saying that but we all remember how they said the same thing about regular cell phones for 20 years right yeah remember how terrified they had us everyone airplane motor this plane could crash one time i forgot to turn off my phone and then the plane hit turbulence and i looked at my phone i was like ah this was me i'm sorry everybody i'm sorry so anyway i don't think the airlines are gonna win this fight and honestly even if it's true this time if it's true if you tell people that they can download a movie in a few seconds but there's a slight chance it'll crash a plane pretty sure people are going to be like yeah it's worth it i'll take that chance fast downloads also how is this my problem i mean you want me to take on the cell phone company industry in the airline industry right you knew 5g was coming it comes after 4g you know what's after 5g trevor 6g how high you want me to go you know i you're asking me to take on the airlines a place where i can't even get a full can of coke or i can't even change my middle seat this is not my problem but you know what i crashed together my friends i love that that's what friendship's all about yeah love that all right let's make all our moms happy and go to church with this next story have you ever seen a pastor who worked a little too hard to keep the congregation's attention well one pastor in oklahoma well he uh just out-did them all a telltale church leader facing criticism for smearing his spit on a man's face during a sermon it happened over the weekend gross so many people talk about this on social media yesterday pastor michael todd of transformation church in bixby was giving a sermon on sunday about how to quote receive god's vision can be nasty he said i just bought my dream car and now you're gonna ask me to sell it back and ride in the houthi again yeah because the vision i'm about to give you it might get nasty well the pastor says while he was trying to make a point in his sermon on sunday he realizes that he crossed the line and the guy on stage that was his brother how is kovitz still spreading in america we're doing everything right huh we're doing everything right look i know it looks nasty but i will say this pastor's point that god might ask you to do stuff that other people don't like he's not wrong yeah all these people who are like god doesn't want you to wipe your nasty spit on people yo somewhere abraham is like yo he told me to kill my damn son i wish he just wanted me to spit on him you know how much therapy me and my kid had to go to after that was never the same the pastor's just trying to say sometimes god will give you a message that may throw you off like phlegm in your face and you know the fact that that was his brother that he was doing that to for me that makes it even worse because now it feels like he just uses the scriptures to mess with his sibling and god sent a great flood and to show you what that flood looked like i'm gonna stick my brother's hand in some warm water while he sleeps [Applause] donald jumanji trump america's 45th best president last weekend he was back on the rally circuit kicking off his campaign to reclaim the oval office and the white house disney plus account but trump might want to slow his role a little bit because it turns out he's not the only one making plans for his future former u.s president donald trump he is in hot water today with the new york attorney general leticia james says her team has uncovered numerous instances of quote fraudulent or misleading practices related to the trump organization's financial documents the case also turning up the heat on trump's children who james says quote have been closely involved with the transactions in question investigators now taking legal action to compel ivanka and don jr to comply with subpoenas and appear for sworn testimony about the company's financial dealings investigators say in 2016 trump claimed his triplex was worth about 327 million because it was over 30 thousand square feet in reality the ag's office says it was eleven thousand square feet they say the trump cfo allen weisselberg charged in a separate criminal case admitted the value of trump's apartment was overstated by give or take 200 million dollars no no no no no donald no you can't exaggerate your apartment's value by 200 million dollars i mean i'd get it if it was an nft but this is an apartment my friend i mean at the same time donald trump does not give a let's be honest this doodle brag about himself even if it gets him in trouble i bet when a cop asks him if he knows how fast he was going he's like yeah i do 400 billion miles a second the fastest anyone has ever gone it was so fast so fast do you want to test it again so fast ask me what i've been drinking all of it and look i get on trump for a lot of stuff but i can't get mad at him for this because deep down he's just a landlord and this is what every landlord in new york does they'll say an apartment has three bedrooms when you get there two of the bedrooms are somehow in the kitchen but it's still the best deal for your budget so you sleep in the dishwasher i mean it is what it is all right but let's move on to the question everyone's been asking what the hell happened to that package i ordered well it turns out your neighbor didn't swipe off your front porch this time it actually got snatched long before that if you ordered something from amazon and didn't get it it could be in this mess this is the scene in los angeles as trains carrying crates of orders are being robbed with packages strewn around the tracks as freight trains slow down or come to a halt the thieves leap on board with bolt cutters open giant containers and take whatever they want this is what they leave behind all these boxes some empty some not look this box was full of cove at home testing kits a precious product tough to buy at many pharmacies this amazon envelope wasn't even opened the thieves just tossed it away this track strewn with boxes stretches as far as you can see in both directions this entire area was cleaned up in mid-december which means that all of this came from train robberies in just the last month god damn did you see that mess it's like a thomas the tank engine episode of hoarders this is crazy and how could this happen in joe biden's america the president loves trains and now they're getting robbed all willy-nilly that's not right people this is like if during the clinton administration everyone was robbing it's unacceptable i mean what if those packages contained like your grandmother's blood pressure medication depending on how you feel about your grandmother that could be a disaster and the worst part is that when they don't want the packages they just leave them on the ground i mean they even ditched coveted tests which is just dumb those tests are worth more than the actual train and you know what this means right yeah knowing how picky these robbers are is going to make valentine's day extra stressful because either your surprise gift doesn't show up and your girl is pissed off or it does show up and she's still pissed off well if this necklace was so great why didn't anyone steal it off a train you cheap ass and no i don't think these robberies should be used as an excuse to have more police in america i know people are going to say that you don't need more police for this all you need is to fill one random train car with angry bees problem solved all right finally let's talk about a major new development in criminal justice reform news anchor drop a beat jay-z and meek mill teaming up to support a proposed new york state law that would block lyrics from being used during trials both jay-z and meek mill they signed a letter saying this tactic effectively denies rapmusing the status of art and then the process gives prosecutors a dangerous advantage in the courtroom by presenting rap lyrics as rhymed confessions of illegal behavior they are often able to obtain convictions even when other evidence is lacking the rappers are joined by other artists including fat joe big sean kelly roland and robin thicke and imploring lawmakers to sign the rap music on trial bill and turn it into law yeah that's right when someone gets arrested prosecutors dig up any rap lyrics they might have written and then they present them like it's a confession which is ridiculous people rap is an art form right these songs are performances the rappers aren't just reading out their journals just because you rap about killing someone doesn't mean you did it it's just that a lot of words rhyme with kill chill hill windowsill uncle phil all of the words you need in a rap song and you don't want worries about legal trouble to interfere with musical freedom especially not rap music because throwing in the word allegedly after every rap lyric really screws with the flow abom atomically allegedly people are saying i bomb atomically and if we're being honest it's not a coincidence that they only do this with rap music because this is just another way of targeting black people i mean half of country music songs are about the singer burning their ex's car because they cheated but i've never seen any of them prosecuted for it so i hope this law gets passed i mean the only downside is that criminals are going to use it as a loophole to hide evidence every wall street board meeting is now going to have an emcee in the corner all my homies in the back move your accounts to the cayman islands bim [Music] [Applause] voting it's what makes america the greatest democracy in the world and if you don't like american democracy america will come invade your country to show you in person how good choosing for yourself is and as we approach the 2022 midterm elections republican-led states across america are busy fine-tuning their voting processes to make sure that they're even more perfect take taxes for example during the last election people were so frustrated by how many voting options they had they could vote in person they could mail it in there was drive-through voting too many choices it was so annoying so now texas is saying don't worry we're giving you fewer options so you don't have to worry about choices anymore oh and in georgia voters were complaining about how many convenient ballot drop boxes were cluttering the streets well thankfully there's going to be a lot fewer of them and they're going to be a lot harder to find this november in iowa they're reducing early voting and closing the polls earlier on election day which we can all agree is great because who wants to vote after work i mean that's prime netflix time baby democracy can wait now all of these changes have just affected the process for voting but some of america's most respected leaders also trying to fine-tune the process for counting votes and they're doing this to make sure that the votes are counted the right way allies of donald trump are trying to remove some of the guard rails that prevented him from overturning the 2020 election now according to the post trump and his supporters are pushing a plan to place loyalists in key election posts from poll watchers and precinct judges to county clerks and state attorneys general we have to be a lot sharper the next time when it comes to counting the vote there's a famous statement sometimes the vote counter is more important than the candidate and we can't let that ever ever happen again they have to get tougher and smarter is that a famous saying there's a famous saying that the vote count i've never heard that saying in my entire life i know i'm going to get a lot of flack for saying this but trump is totally right he's right about being tough you got to count those votes hard if you show any weakness those ballots are going to take your girl and for trump to say the vote counter is more important than the candidate i mean that just shows you how committed he is to ensuring the democratic process goes the way he wants it to i mean think about it donald trump said stop thinking about me so much it's unprecedented so that's just some of the admirable work republicans have been getting up to but the democrats have been trying to make changes of their own and if you ask them everyone should be able to vote with barely any effort which would be crazy because then everyone would vote including bill cosby no so they've been pushing their own laws in congress and last night they almost got their way we're going to begin with a major setback for democrats on capitol hill what would have been their landmark voting rights bill failed 52-48 in the senate last night with two democrats joining all 50 republicans in opposing a rules change to push it through to no surprise it was senators kirsten cinema and joe manchin who helped republicans kill hopes for filibuster reform and voting rights eliminating the filibuster would be the easy way out it wasn't meant to be easy yeah joe manchin is right everything in the senate should be as difficult as possible if democrats want to pass a bill chuck schumer should have to carry it through a stage of american ninja warrior first but yes republicans were able to use the filibuster to block the democrats voting rights bill with the help of democrats joe manchin and kirsten cinema because you see those two do support the democrats voting rights bills they just don't support making sure that they pass which when you think about it is actually it's so inspiring you know joe manchin and kirsten cinema believed so strongly in the power of voting that they used their vote to block voting rights for the entire country they they were unvoting voting by voting so it was the right thing for mansion and cinema to do and basically everyone loves them for it but as usual there are haters out there who just don't get it if you think this build makes sense and if you're worried about the future of american democracy and if you are prepared to vote for the bill then why are you wasting everybody's time and not voting for the rule change that allows us to pass the bill you know it's like inviting somebody to lunch putting out a great spread and saying you can't eat this is why people shouldn't debate on an empty stomach if we're not gonna pass this bill can someone at least pass me a goddamn sandwich but this is just classic bernie sanders man he thinks just because those two democrats say they support the bill they should vote accordingly really bernie it's called politics not logic ticks see what i did there changed it was politics and i made it maybe if he had spoken after lunch bernie would have understood how much sense this makes because what joe mentioned is saying is i want to help you out of the water i'm not going to throw you a rope but i want to throw you the rope and any drowning man would agree it's the thought that counts isn't that right drowning man can't hear what he's saying but he agrees so for whatever reason the right to vote has gotten people very passionate on both sides in fact it's become such a big deal that they even woke up joe biden so that he could weigh in with the voting rights push hitting a dead end president biden was asked whether this year's midterms would be fairly conducted and legitimate after many republican-led states enacted new voting restrictions it all depends on [Music] whether or not we're able to make the case to the american people that some of this is being set up to try to alter the outcome of the election it's never good for an american president to sow seeds of doubt in the legitimacy of american elections the language is being used is clearly concerning i thought that undermining our election results was a threat to our democracy the last thing you wanted to hear was to hear from president biden that there are questions about the legitimacy of the elections you needed the president to say no we've got the best electoral system in the world yes yeah that's right joe biden needs to step up and say that not a single other country in the world has a better electoral system than america people in denmark they wish they wish they could spend all of election day sweating in a high school gym i mean sure that's why most functioning countries actually have the elections run by non-partisan independent commissions you know to make sure that politicians can't twist the voting laws for their own gain but that would just be ridiculous i mean think about it you want the people in charge of the election to have some skin in the game right that's how you know it's fair imagine how stupid it would be if a basketball game had a separate group of people on the court just to enforce the rules that would make no sense that's why instead the strongest teams get to decide for themselves whether they committed any fouls and that's why my friends america's electoral system is still the best and why nobody should ever say otherwise because it's not true and also because even if it was it will be really uncomfortable to hear before we go america is facing its worst blood shortage in more than a decade largely in part due to the drop in donations since the start of the pandemic but giving blood is easy and just one blood donation can save up to three lives so if you'd like to help endless blood crisis you can sign up online with the american red cross call 1-800 red cross or find a donation site near you through america's blood centers at the link below [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show with Trevor Noah

Views: 370,114

Keywords: the daily show, trevor noah, daily show with trevor noah, the daily show episodes, comedy central, comedians, comedian, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, noah trevor, trevor noah latest episode, daily show, trevor, news, politics

Id: i1DBBXkBynA

Length: 23min 38sec (1418 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 22 2022