What’s the Most Real Relationship Advice You Can Give? (Dating Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)

what's the most real relationship advice you can give learning how to be bored together as important you don't have to be on the go doing stuff and planning stuff and being fun and exciting all the time it's okay to just sit around and not do anything and not talk to each other it's not unhealthy I promise in an ideal relationship the contributions are 60-40 we're both partners are the ones trying to give 60% my mom asked an elderly couple who had been married for decades what their secret was they said that they act as if being nice to each other is a competition that has always stuck with me one don't expect the other person to be able to read your mind to be a team not opponents three everybody farts at some point don't lose yourself as an individual in a relationship when you disagree remember that you are the same team you're supposed to fight a problem not the other person this is such an awesome way of putting that concept always be mindful and thoughtful to that person's love map like they might need a quick text every morning when you get to work letting them know you're safe make zero sense to you but knowing it's something small and means the world to them well why the heck not they might get stressed out and you're helping to clean the house for when they've finished work might mean more to them than someone else you've been with who wanted flowers to show love know what it is that your partner loves and makes them feel loved too it's fine to not always want to spend 100% of your time with your spouse not every moment of every day is going to be bliss and sometimes it really takes some effort I love my wife to bits but there are some days when I would just like to do things by myself it doesn't mean our relationship isn't great but it can be really refreshing to just take a stroll around a shopping center or go and get some food alone with something this 100 percent my spouse goes weekly to a pathfinder game that's his alone time I occasionally go to a punk show we'll have a beer W my friends it can be even simpler I will go read a book in the other room and get my alone time he likes to cook so heck start up in the kitchen and I stay away while he listens to his music everyone needs alone time there's a reason it's called the honeymoon phase and eventually you won't have as much to talk about other than how the day went or might not always feel those butterflies in your stomach when you think about them that's when it becomes a test in the relationship and you both have to work on it to make it work you will get into fights but learn to get over there more I doubt it'll last resentment can kill feelings for someone you trade butterflies for familiarity excitement for comfort listen to them communicate with them compromise sometimes duck them regularly to elaborate on compromise it doesn't always mean something we are both enjoy at times it will very likely mean today we do something my partner likes and that I sparingly tolerate but tomorrow that reverses but your spouse isn't going to be perfect you're not going to be perfect there will be mistakes and misunderstandings what really matters in a relationship is not being perfect but how you handle the imperfections of yourself and your spouse in a respectful reasonable way this is the best comment here and the ones about communication guy here this probably sounds simple but here's what I've learned know yourself where you're at in life if you are in a shitstorm legal crap money crap drugs and alcohol crap legal crap you're probably not ready for anything serious clean up your act first be honest no matter how freaked up crap is if you want to move forward in a serious way all the cards got to be on the table take it slow get to know each other but in the end no secrets there is some crap that is nobody's business but I ain't talking about that know her what she's been through and what she wants out of life you both need to be pretty much on mode you need to be heading for the same thing kids buy a house or gypsy life don't matter keep a sharp eye on things you need to make sure she's doing okay and let her know you're doing okay but same with her to you after that it's just dodging stupid soft wisdom here no secrets and be on board with each other's plan is big relationships are work they aren't always fun you won't always be madly in love and you can't put them on a shelf and ignore them but they shouldn't be all work sometimes you have to spend years with shitty people to realize what you deserve it was never a waste you needed the experience to figure out what works best for you or what to avoid you'll never forget your exes they were there for a reason conversely sometimes you need to spend years in bad relationships with good people before you realize that you're being a shitty person sometimes it's hard to see and harder to admit intimacy is way more important than most people realize like I've told my wife yeah sure there's lust involved there's also interest in making your partner feel good as well if that interest isn't there your partner might as well be a sex toy for all they mean to you you are never obliged to stay in a relationship doesn't frickin matter what someone has threatened if you aren't happy flick em , if you aren't happy flick em and if that doesn't help leave em communication is the foundation upon which everything else is built they say don't go to bed angry not because anger does something while you're sleeping but because it means you didn't communicate properly and you're giving up on trying become actively listen do not dismiss your partner's statements assume good faith it's you and me versus the problem not me versus you if something's bugging you talk to your so about it if you feel in rage about something wait until you're well-fed well-rested with warm extremities before talking about it but talk about it at the first opportunity calmly rationally and honestly keep the discussion limited to that one narrow thing if something's bugging your so hear them out never think well I'm not bothered by that so it's not a problem think my sow is bothered by this and that's a problem if you think the concern is unreasonable frame the discussion is solving the problem of your so is being unhappy the worst fights and arguments tap over trivial things because it's not the trivial thing that's actually causing the problem it's probably a series of things or a general lack of satisfaction and the toothpaste cap being left off as just the instigator of the fight if you communicate often and openly these things will not Fester they won't pile up and you won't get into such fights when someone shows you who they are believe them if they're mean if they're vindictive if they use you if they show you that they don't really care about you believe them if they make you feel inadequate on edge scared nervous unworthy or like a disappointment believe them if they're entitled narcissistic sociopathic manipulative or unfair believe them life isn't a movie you can fix people who don't want to be fixed more often than not they just are who they are so take off the rose-colored glasses and stop thinking love will find a way if it isn't working change it don't spend your precious time lamenting over a person who wouldn't genuinely lament over you this sounds bleak I know but relationships and love are supposed to be the most beautiful thing in the universe if your relationship is not improving your quality of life on the aggregate you need to seriously reassess what you want in life because you deserve better you only get so much time to find people in your life that make it worth living don't get caught up on people who will make you wish to never live it yes y'all gotta make sure you're choosing them as advertised not falling in love with their potential I don't think your prospective is bleak at all I think it's balanced and disillusioned in related vernacular choosing to believe who someone is is a great example of living life on life's terms it's not always easy but it gets you out of a lot of unnecessary wrestling matches if you go into a marriage long-term commitment with the impression that you will be happy all the time and your life will only change for the better you are absolutely wrong be realistic that there will be days you won't be able to stand each other your lives may absolutely hit rough patches and you will not agree on how why that situation occurred or even how to get out of it the like go unhallowed it together if you can agree on food sleep soundly compromise on activities and do your own thing one of the days and not get mad at each other you stand a good chance of lasting a while I love my boyfriend to bits and miss him a lot we don't live together yet but boy do I like sleeping on my own in bed sometimes space is healthy just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you have to live in each other's pockets agreed I love my boyfriend but I also love sleeping in my own bed sometimes you don't need to be in one don't light yourself on fire to keep others warm love is a choice not a feeling not talking about sexuality here the butterflies go away eventually it's inevitable but you can choose to be committed anyway and build something beautiful together conversely attraction is a feeling not a choice you cannot negotiate someone into being into you if they aren't you have to be honest with them especially when it's hard to do me and my boyfriend get uncomfortably real with each other sometimes and something we have both learned is to listen to criticism without getting defensive and when giving criticism we don't attack each other no matter how angry or sad we are at each other I've had him call me out for certain behaviors that nobody has ever called me out on and I've done the same for him we're both better people for it because when we get it all out on the table we have no choice but to work on ourselves you have been visited by the smiley dojo you will have happiness in your future but only if you comment nice smile Papa I hope you enjoyed the video and find your significant other to have good times together if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 153,805

Keywords: #updootst, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, reddit stories, reddit story, funny reddit stories, askreddit stories, top posts, top posts of all time, funniest reddit posts, reddit stories funny, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, brainy memes, brainydude, rslash, comment awards, reddit comment awards, askreddit advice, relationship advice, relationships, dating, advice, r/tinder

Id: HzD7H2u__Ec

Length: 10min 52sec (652 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 23 2019