"Weird Al" Yankovic | Club Random with Bill Maher

love random nice digs man like your place you know I say this every time somebody says that but you're not everybody yeah he used to own this uh I I without the music at this place really needs music but we can't have music as we're talking but like it is a nightclub it's supposed to be it was before it was a podcast Studio this is where I partied when I bought this place this thing room was filled with video games which I am the least interested in video games you know that came with a house that's what Ben had here I think you know and uh it was just very different but it was but the structure was the same and it was so cool it was crooked you saw the door is crooked it's just like it's built on a hill on this it's just weird and I always loved it you just feel it's made you to feel a Vibe about a place where do you where do you live not too far away I'm up um uh in the Hollywood Hills like in the bird streets like up like oh sure yeah and like how long you been in that house about as long as you're about 20 years okay so you were mature enough when you move there to be I feel like at a certain point in life like you know where you're supposed to live you walk into it and you just go oh yeah I'm supposed to live here whereas when you're young I'm living in an apartment where just like it's whatever I could get right right for the money you know but I felt like when I walked into my house which is not he had you know it's over there it's near here yeah yeah uh I said oh yeah first of all it's built for a single person like very few houses are built that way they're built for families right but mine's like there's only one other bedroom beside the master bedroom but then there's like a nice closet and a outer office and an office it's just not built for kids yeah but was this your first like kind of big house this is my third house and I feel like I went like up the ladder like you the first house was like the first one you can afford right it's in a struggling neighborhood mine was I moved because the hookers started to live on the co live well but live but they started to uh congregate on my corner I lived right below sunset a little east of Fairfax right where Hugh Grant got his [ __ ] okay remember the famous I know the plaque on the corner there yeah yeah and uh that was the neighborhood and I remember you know the the first house it's it's you can't believe you're going to go from like I think my rent was 350. and now I'm gonna have a mortgage of 1400. it was like holy [ __ ] what did I just do because we were Comics right I mean we started almost at the same I feel like you exploded in the early it was like 83 or something yeah it was like 84. and I remember my my first place what year was My Bologna my gosh my well My Bologna was not you know uh that was it was 79 was the original 79 and when it came out first time yeah oh cause that's interesting because that was my very first year in it's your business I mean that's why my first year out of college that's when I moved to New York and I started to hang out at the Improv and catch a rising star and and it's very weird you know I almost called myself weird Bill even you know even we're weirder I always call myself weird Bill Yankovic which really made me crazy what are the odds I must say I always thought when I uh heard your name I always thought anybody who's named weird like that's they must be like the most normal guy in the world it's like an ironic like huge people are called tiny you know that kind of thing exactly am I right yeah right most normal guy in Hollywood you seem you just you radiate normal when you're not doing your craziness yeah it's great that you can be crazy like that right it's a nice job description why not as opposed to like what else would you have done in life right yeah I don't know what are your other skills yeah well I I got a degree where do you see yourself in five years yeah what's your 10-year plan there are gigantic films we're looking for them for people like you we love a man like you in our midst uh no but like what else would you do I don't know I mean I I got my degree in architecture but I knew before I graduated I wasn't going to do that architect yeah it wasn't my passion I didn't you know I didn't love it I got a degree in history in English and I knew I wasn't going to do that I knew I was going to do well not exactly this yeah yeah to you in 40 years especially when I had the same name is this the show by the way I just I just you just walked out here are we doing the show I love that everybody asked me this do you know you know you know first of all the answer is yes okay remind you these the reason I love this is because I spent a fortune making it so that you felt that comfortable yeah because I mean I don't want to point it out and blow it but you know there's cameras all around what they're just built in they're just unobtrusive and there's nobody else in the room and at least one of us is getting high where are you with that Al do you oh not for me but yeah well thanks go for it glad I have your permission oh wait are we wearing like the same shirt very very close who are we meringue no all right no we're not you're not that lucky Al we have to get to know me better before you marry me oh have you ever had a homeless sexual experience out I was going with my wife yeah every every year like on my birthday are you saying what I think you're saying probably not oh I asked you if you had a homosexual experience oh what'd you think I meant I just had sexual experience oh no I said homosexual and then when you said yes on my birthday I thought you were saying I get it to me I get the ass no yeah I didn't hear the question properly so so you're making a a marriage yes one of the Staples of Comedy right the have you ever been done I'm sure you have been in a writer's room with like you know a lot of them are guys and there's just a lot of marriage jokes I mean not that I needed another reason never to get married but if I did was if I was searching for one it would be how come when he could 10 guys in the room like 68 of the jokes are about how marriage sucks right and they don't get laid and blah blah blah so when are you getting to settle down Bill we've been we were wondering about you it is really getting uh I said I would before 70. uh but I'm going to go back on that um how long have you been married uh 2001 so doing the math of 21 years yes yeah well that's very uh Noble in Hollywood and very rare yeah when my wife and I both waited till we were ancient and decided that you know it you know ain't should stop that you weren't you're not ancient now I hate that in in this country this this uh ageism it's so ingrained people do it on themselves you're not ancient you look great no I'm just being self-deprecating yeah well why are you like from some [ __ ] area of the country where they put themselves down like the Midwest but what are the self-deprecating states there are places I think like Minnesota is itself because the people are so nice and polite you know and uh you know they're like Francis McDormand and that movie where she's pregnant yeah they're just super nice and they probably are self-deprecated where are you from uh I'm from L.A you can tell by the tan I've been working on this for a long time and uh I'm from Linwood uh so I'm from the hood I went to the I went I went to the this is real I went to the same High School Suge Knight is that right it is yeah wow so so my high school is famous for Suge Knight Mark Spitz Kevin Costner and Fred Gwynn wow Kevin Costner yeah now you were not there at the same time as sugar were you I was done with all of those people you really no right stupid the show goes after me I don't I don't think I was uh I had high school all to myself wouldn't it be funny if you looked at his yearbook and in Suge Knight it was just like you know him holding people out the window well no the Opera captain of the debate it's just like on her Society it's like wow what happened there what the [ __ ] happened when he got out of high school he was well on his way you know and then oh he's a rough on that Suge Knight yeah has he been in the in the lounge no he's been in prison over quite some time uh I did have a I did him on Politically Incorrect once uh I saw him at a bar once a bar it was kind of a club it was on Santa Monica Boulevard I think it was called peanuts do you remember that back in the day I don't know if I've ever been inside but it was like a you know it was this is like was that a like a disco what was it was it it was not a disco it was you know what it was it was it was in the gay area it was kind of like a lesbian Club but it was like lesbian but not really committed to that completely it was like it was a committed lesbians no it was like a place celebrities went okay because it had that you know any place that has a gay vibe to it at all there's going to be hipper you know and more loose and you know so that was trying to make this Lounge Gator built just to get the hip clientele what did you have in mind I don't know I know you only get it in the asset once a year well let me ask you another question when is your birthday oh well well [Laughter] oh really October 23rd 1959. when is it October 23rd oh so you just had a birthday I did oh I did and you turned 85. I'm telling you you look fantastic thank you thank you but anyway so I was there at this peanuts place and sugar just got out of prison this is before he went back into prison for good like they really he I think he backed over on camera which is not a good look but uh he's one of those oopsies yeah but he uh he had just got out of prison and he was there with all his you know like crew and a lot of anyway I pissed off one of his soldiers a girl a lesbian girl but I think was like you know his one of his recruiters I like there was this floor show and like she like stood right in front I just said like excuse me I'm you know you just got right in front of me and she was like all of a sudden it was very out of control and uh my friend thought we were gonna get killed but then I I ran up to I'd ran up I my friend wanted us to run away and I was like no I'm not gonna look over my shoulder my whole life right you know I remember they were wearing like the red um it was La the famous LA Dodgers cap it in red and it's sort of famously blue that the LA Dodgers yeah you know so there's a statement right there might have been a little gang influence I I don't ask questions anyway long story short he said he watched Politically Incorrect in prison so I was okay so politically Politically Incorrect did save my life so were you ever unpolitically incorrect I was thanks for remembering it was the 90s it was the high point of my life Bill and you don't even remember it could you could have been with Kissinger I wouldn't have remembered that either it was me and Gibby Haynes Gibby Hayes serious whole Surfers who oh the Butthole Surfers yes oh this is so 90s oh my God Gibby Haynes that sounds like an old Western actor when you said I thought you were here yes my biscuits are burning remember him and let's kill all the Indians that's a little dated now it was a comedy you know at the time it was funny but now they had a very bad attitude about that oh did you see the uh Sachin Little Feather thing I I heard tell me the story because I saw the headlines she just right I saw the headlines too and it wasn't usually be the thing I would read but it's once I started it was so fascinating like it's not really Native American that's part of the story yes that she if people don't know who's the sheen littlefeather is she just died in 1972 uh she accepted the Oscar that Brando won for the Godfather right he wanted to make a statement and he didn't want to go to an award show so he sent her in his stead it was a famous thing in America at the time we all were right right and she got up there and accepted the Oscar now if that happened today she'd get a standing ovation well colliewood would love this like you can't believe in 1972 booed we were not just boot they told her if she went over her time she would be arrested booed and Will Smith rushing the stage to slap someone would not have been the first time that happened because they had to restrain John Wayne from doing just that he wanted to go up there the crowd was jeering her okay so listen to this she takes she gets off stage without getting arrested goes to Brando's house to give him his Oscar is shot at what it was not a hit but on the door step shot at I did not know this either wow I know isn't that amazing is this just coming out or is this coming up it was in the obituary there's always plain knowledge but yeah but you just to think about the difference this was liberal Hollywood of 1972. and uh well John Wayne I don't know Quentin Tarantino was here a couple weeks ago and I told him you should make you know this movie because I know he loves alternative endings I mean he did it with World War II he did it with the man yeah Manson Murders yeah right I said tell this story but instead of just sasheen Little Feather getting shot at at on Brando's doorstep and then cowering have her become like a badass Revenge he loves women yeah yeah right Uma Thurman and have her go after all those people who were from all the people of the day Jack Lemon and uh David Niven and Leslie Caron whoever the stars were and of course the last one she'd have to [ __ ] kill like a badass you know Buford Pusser or Billy go Billy Jack on [ __ ] John Wayne I like that isn't that a great movie that sounds great she's an Indian well okay and then the other part of the story you're right we find out she's not Indian so what is that what is that all like her sister's outed her well she's I you know I think they said it's a it's a a kind of a point in comment I think they're their comment was something like um she felt it would be less prejudice against a Indian than a Mexican which I think is what she was or something would be easier as an Indian than America I feel like it was it was definitely an uh you know they were saying given the prejudices of America which was so much more profound at the time obviously they shot at her but liberals you know it was not Jack lemons no no it was Walter Matthau and [ __ ] you know Roger Moore I mean the fact that just that you could hire actors to play all these stars of that era yeah and then kill them I think it's just hysterical yeah now when did it come out that she was not actually native like just very like Brandon didn't know I guess no that just came out yeah okay the other part about getting shot at and the booing that all happened and it's been uh people knew it but we just did Wild we just wasn't widely reported or we just forgot or we didn't care but when she died it came to surface again but the thing about her not being Indian that is new okay and I don't care yeah yeah I'm just interested in the Tarantino yeah Clinton deals with that part of the story right yeah and that's really interesting it's a really interesting part of it and you could weave it in anyway Quentin somebody's gonna make this movie so Chop Chop here we go I'm just saying if it's not you I have so many people who work for me that I am grateful for the guy who washes my solar panels the guy who walks my dog Chico and the dude who gets the weed smell out of Club random or pipes it in I can't quite remember we can also be grateful for those who make our work lives easier that's why it's so important to have the right people on your team and if you want to hire these people for your business you need ZipRecruiter and now you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com random what's to appreciate about ZipRecruiter it uses powerful technology to find and match the right candidates with your job you can easily review these recommended candidates and invite your top choices to apply four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day so if you want a stress-free hiring process trust me you'll be so thankful you tried ZipRecruiter just go to your special URL to try it for free ziprecruiter.com random once again that's ziprecruiter.com random ZipRecruiter the smartest way to hire we are brought to you 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less like shouty cable segments and more like conversations between real people so come join the conversation new episodes of lost debate drop twice a week every Tuesday and Thursday find them on Amazon Spotify Apple YouTube or wherever you get your shows what about drink Al do you drink oh yeah I'm drinking a Fiji Water here we go you sure you have a lot to celebrate you have a big [ __ ] news and you're gonna get Assets in only 11 months no you're you're uh your movie you got a big movie yeah well I think it's doing well you know the thing with streamers this is actually the reason why I wanted to sell it to a streaming uh platform in the first place you don't know how well it does and I was uh I was a little gun shy after UHF came out and um yeah in 1989 came out my that's my first movie I I spaced my movies 33 years before I was saying that was a streaming service like even UHF is history now but my first movie did not do well at the box office and and uh sorry which was what UHF was the name of the movie oh yes I remember remember that sure you do I do like you remember Gibby Haynes give me Hayes get you know if I said if I put out another movie it'll be nice to not you know not bomb and not even have a chance of bombing because nobody nobody knows the numbers in the streaming services so it's getting great reviews and people seem to like it no it's big I know because I'm aware of it because like I don't you know I don't know I guess I'm I'm just not queued into that side of the news cycle the more the most people are much more aware of Pop Culture stuff and I'm much more workers in my job yeah you know a much of serious political stuff so when something like that gets on my radar I mean I haven't seen it but I'm dying to see it because you're funny you've always been funny I always thought your music was hysterical thank you um and I've heard people there's a buzz about it because again if it got on my radar it means something really I'm serious and I know things about it that like sometimes like I know things and I don't really want to know them yeah I call that mind raping like I did not have my I did not give consent to know who Scott does it gets you know I was mind-raped there you know what I'm saying you just it was not consensual that I know lots of Pop Culture stuff yeah but this one I was happy got on my radar well tell me what you know about it and I'll confirm I know that it's an origin story and kind of a parody of origin stories in in music you know biopics which is a ripe area for parody I think yeah you know um because it's it's become very popular with you know uh what was uh the Queen the Bohemian Rhapsody and the rocket man came out Rocket Man and all these Elvis yeah Elvis yeah um I assume you've seen all of them yeah yeah we had to do research I wrote I wrote off the movie tickets on my taxes because it's what are your reviews you know they uh I I enjoyed them all but they they upset me as a fan because you know I'm a big Elton John fan I'm a big Queen fan but you know I look I look at these movies and uh I I just noticed where they just take Liberties even times when they don't need to but you know they've changed the facts around all right they changed the chronology around it drives me nuts yes I can't believe you said it because I went to the Elvis movie in the theater I mean that's I'm a giant Elvis fan of a certain period not as early period but like as a singer I do love it the bloated period that we all love I do that's it yeah that's when he did better music and it wasn't all bloated he only uploaded the last two years semi-bloated he was not you know that he was always bloated even when he looked good but he would then slim down when he had to go back in front of the cameras but between films when you didn't see him for a couple of months because that was the error when you could just not be seen for sure you know sure and he wasn't on the road in the 60s no TMZ no TMZ no no nothing and he would get fat as [ __ ] and then he would get slimmed down but even uh up until like like 75 is when he looked bad that's 75 76 77 his last three years yes but I've checked that he was on the cover of People magazine when he was 40 and he looked fantastic so it wasn't maybe that was his last hurray of being in shape he remember I have it I saved it I always what I would love to look like that Elvis had and I said Elvis is 40 like oh my God can you believe it Elvis is 40. what would that go and I'm 40. exactly but uh no I I the movie drove me crazy because I know Elvis's biography very well and there was so many unnecessary sort of uh changes they made I understand because they want to make things more dramatic but Elvis's life is dramatic you know he he didn't go into the army because they were about to arrest him for wiggling his hips as they presented in the movie that's more dramatic no he's just drafted like everybody was drafted right you know the the stupidity of that scene where he's making his uh his comeback special but it's really the Christmas special and then at the last minute without anybody knowing he does a completely different special is if you could do that like bring in sets in two hours and wrote a you know they he's watching Bobby Kennedy get assassinated and he writes If I Can Dream well I love If I Can Dream it's one of my favorite songs but it wasn't written by him or then that's one of the things that they do in all these biotics is that they take things that happen like days or weeks or months or years apart and they haven't all happen the same night exactly because it makes more sense from a storytelling perspective and then they put a little uh disclosure on the screen you know some events have been conflated in other words we just [ __ ] made it up as much as we wanted to which is what I leaned into with my movie I figured okay if I'm going to do do a buyback facts out the window like nobody cares well I would expect no less from you wow that's a parody of a biopic essentially yeah well I can't wait to see it it's on Netflix it's uh well you could no no what's it on uh from what I remember it's on the Roku channel it's free you don't need well the real what do you mean no Roku channel is free yes you go to the Roku channel.com and it's it's I thought Roku was the box that would they do that too they they make TVs they make apps and devices and they also have an actual Channel and then once in a while the whole thing crashes and they have a little animated Roku doll that comes up on the screen I kind of dances and I'm like what are you dancing my you just crashed my thing I guess sometimes it has to reboot or something I don't know it's all complicated I I I miss the rabbit ears I miss going up on the roof and adjusting the antenna well so Roku Channel yeah the Roku channel so this is their their one of their early forays into original programming and thankfully they decided that they wanted to be in the Weird Al business so so um do we all have the Roku Channel automatically well if you have a computer you have the Roku channel so we're born with the road it's like a chip in your brain it's not like something I have to order like Netflix if you want to watch out on your TV it's got a you know I don't have all the info I see Roku yeah I mean so you can certainly watch so I must have yeah I must have yeah okay oh great fantastic yeah and you'll have to subscribe like I said it's ad supportive so you know every now and then you'll see a commercial but oh really yeah but not in the middle of the movie uh well yeah like like yeah really there's a commercial there is but it's all right there's a commercial in the middle of this too there sir see see I'm not busting your balls about it but I just I'm glad you prepared me okay if you see somebody selling something in the middle of my movie it's not something that I thought of so the age we live it's so funny you know first of all when I grow up as you did in the age of like Johnny Carson and when people were plugging their movies or something it was formal and the band's playing and I'm here how you doing everybody I'm on the couch and now it's just like you know I can say I haven't seen your movie yet it's okay because we're much more honest but but it's honest also that I really want to and I heard it's great which is actually a better recommendation than it got on my radar and then you know we can just uh learn all about the idea that Burt Reynolds would come on and boy so Sheen Little Feather is going to [ __ ] him up too oh no he's actually Indian yes give him a pass nice yes Burt Browns is part Indian why didn't I yeah we do a whole Boogie Nights thing in in my movie it's a whole like pool party scene that's inspired by by Boogie nice and Dr Demento my movie is sort of modeled after Burt Reynolds character in Boogie Nights oh really kind of yeah I love Burt Reynolds yeah he was awesome all right so but the idea that like Burt Reynolds or somebody would be on Johnny Carson's show and then Johnny would have to unless it's on um you know ABC and then have the way the delivery system described to him which is what you're telling me uh-huh I mean that's a very big difference from the 70s where we kind of knew what the delivery systems were well there's like three networks you know it was like it wasn't very confusing back then you have to plug your movie and how the [ __ ] to get it yeah you know yeah okay well so we'll figure it out I'll I'll make sure that there's our Roku channel on your TV I I well I mean it shows that they uh have a lot of faith in you because obviously they're launching something yeah I mean yes I'm a little out of it but I think it's indicative that I did not know they even had the channel yeah and I'm sure many people do because people again follow this stuff closer than I do but I don't but they probably haven't had a giant hit yet I mean like I said this is sort of brand new for them they're just getting into original programming and they're known for more for manufacturing TVs and devices than they are for programming but but this is like a big sort of gamble for them I thought we had laws against that I thought you're not allowed to like make the TV and also make what goes up is that true well I think yes I mean there are laws like that Anti-Trust laws but monopoly laws are we still following those uh that's now that's a good question don't make me get political okay are you very political I am but I don't talk about it publicly what about here uh has anybody watching I love that you asked that and by the way so did Lisa Kudrow Jay Leno um somebody last week oh but he was a professor type of course he doesn't know where the cameras are but yes some real show business veterans have been like are we on exactly because like you know this is my little uh genius I can be friends with somebody so quickly only if I like them to begin with that's the truth but then we don't invite anybody here who I kind of don't know I'm gonna like I love the fact that I can meet people for real who I maybe have met a couple of times or barely at all and then at the end of an hour I feel like oh I know this person or at least you know we're literally friends and not just friendly yeah yeah I always make that distinction in Hollywood because everybody thinks that you know who's not in Showbiz is that we all know each other like it's just like a club yeah it's sort of like a lot a lot of friends uh in in town sort of like get together for podcasts that's like their social thing like yeah it's almost like uh what did the Amish used to do like a barn razor the barn raising area you know a potlatch or something a podcast it's kind of like oh yeah well do you have a podcast no I I I think I'm the last person in Los Angeles without you I really are but you don't need one yeah you know you're a rock star you know you don't need to like slum with us chatterers it's never 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show every night basically you don't even build in like a week here or you know we we tried that before we tried like like oh let's do something Humane like have like three weeks on the road and one week off yes which sounds great in in practice but but then uh like during that week that's off we're still paying everybody's salary we're paying for two trucks we're paying for two buses and at the end of the tour we're like how come we didn't make any money so now when I'm on the road I'm on the road holy [ __ ] I mean man do I feel fortunate because like now it depends on your personality some people are more nomadic by Nature you must be I'm a homebody yeah I never stopped doing stand-up I'll be on the road this weekend I'm in New York my home is the bus I mean I literally live on the bus I could not live on a bus what is the point Al of being this wealthy and successful and living on a bus you know who lives on bus buses poor people or like somebody who goes out in nature and like that guy in the movie Into The Wild you lived on a bus in the middle of nowhere eating berries exactly like or how about bus in a war zone you live on a I'm sure it's a nice bus instead of a bus I like it you know the rest of the band and the crew they check into a hotel but you know I've got my internet backstage and in the back of the bus and I've got TV and other people get hotels and you stay in the that's correct yeah all by yourself no yeah with your wife well she doesn't travel with me I only have six months I know what you're gonna do like you know six months yes she's a widow for six for half the year well I mean every year she comes out and visits like you know every few weeks whenever you know she wants to like get out of town she comes to the good cities and Chicago honey oh no no that's exactly she she looked through itinerary and goes like that's a boy oh I've heard that from other people about wives and tours yeah they don't come to the sticks the wives do not there's no I'll be meeting you in Indianapolis and I love Indianapolis but they just don't come yeah all right I'm glad we settled that so you deserve that birthday ass [ __ ] uh or whatever it was so okay so you're on the oh my God ow I've got to talk you out of this well I'm off the road for a while we we uh we finished at Carnegie Hall I've never played Carnegie Hall before that was fun if we did that and uh now I'm off until we do a European tour starting in in February I played Connie Hall one they should get over themselves really I mean I remember there's like the one place where you can't like videotape your show right and I think the money was bad and it was It was kind of felt like it's not about for the money when you're playing Carnegie Hall but that's what they're and they that's [ __ ] well it's it's a it's a haul okay it's a hole and people come and watch you do your thing like they did and and that you should be paid the same because they're selling the idea of it's Carnegie Hall it's like okay well you know what you got me and it's very Union I know because the first time I was booked to play Carnegie Hall was like in the 90s I think and I was all excited but back then so the tour we just did was like a um the vanity tour so it's literally just the band sitting on stools and playing their instruments very you know how many people in your band yeah five including me but but this this store was very not how many in the crew oh about a about a dozen all total so it's a yeah yeah to like any other Rock Show yeah but I mean the first time we tried to play Carnegie Hall uh we had the show booked and we were told that because of all the unions uh if even if we've sold out we would literally lose a ton of money so we had we had to cancel so so we figured with this tour being it like No Frills like literally just these guys on stage playing their instruments we'd be able to make it work I I I don't want to like make you cry and tell you how I live my life tell me well I only go out for 30 hours at a time I play Two Cities because I have a job on Friday night Warrior stuff yeah and not even every weekend but I always like and I don't go on a bus I go on a private chat and I fly and I I wake up an hour before the plane leaves and I fly to a city on Saturday go like maybe have time to check in the hotel maybe just go right to the venue to the show stay over in that City that first city is always one of those a cities where the wives would come right right and then the second night fly to the next city get up late you know have breakfast at two in the afternoon go to the next city go right to the venue do the show and fly home that sounds great I mean I've always been a little envious of of of comedians that can you know travel by themselves and keep all the money all the money I share all the the cash with like 20 people I don't have to tell you what what happens on my birthday but look I'm not a rock star that's the other thing it's like you the reason you do this the reason you're away for six months at a time it's not the money you don't need the money I know why you do this it's the it's that old story about Bob Hope and they said why you know he was on the road like when he was 89 250 days a year and he said somebody said Bob why do you do it he said well the gardeners don't applaud it's a drag to be away from home for that long but you know I love it you can't tell exactly that's what I'm saying you can't tell jokes to squirrels Emo Philips open for me on every single show on this list we will love emo but I he I love him he actually got depressed at the end of a six-month tour saying like I'm so sad that this tour is ending he just just loved being on stage so much well his name is emo yeah so he's gonna get sweepy yeah I'm so glad Emo's still working emo was uh I remember we did London together in 1992. some show in London where they booked American comics and we were on it together and uh he was funny yeah he is funny oh I'd love to see emo I'd love to see your show you should yeah could uh I'll be in a Paris next to March so we'll see you there Parish yeah that's part of Europe so you do Europe too well that's amazing not not often but we're going to do it next year and and I'm hoping it's going to translate because like a lot of my humor is like American popcorn I mean that's Brave Paris I mean I know lots of comedians who play Europe I did it myself in 2015. I'm glad I had the experience um again me with my 30 hours away I'm a homebody I'm not gonna do it again I liked it did you do in any any countries that were there where English wasn't like the primary no I mean you could you can play easily you can play of course Amsterdam you can play Germany you can play obviously England all over England Scotland you can play the Nordic countries I played Oslo and I played Stockholm yeah you know those are mostly places okay Paris is a whole different kettle of fish first of all they have a bad attitude about anything but French so they don't speak English the way all these other countries they regurger they don't teach it in the schools and like they are outliers for example The Beatles the only place in the world where they were met with meh really was Parish really absolutely everywhere else in the world when Gaga for beetlemania and the parisians I mean I'm sure some of the yeah I'm sure they got laid over there okay but you play paraphernal no because I'm saying not just me American comedians don't play Paris very yeah because it's just not the place and they don't speak the English so I mean that's who who suggested this I just go around I don't book the show so I look at the itinerary oh I mean it's Brave and I'm sure they know what they're doing because nobody likes to lose money yeah but yeah you know especially for I mean I've got the music to fall back on but I feel basically it's music I feel bad for emo to go out to a crowd and you know yeah they don't know what he's saying emo might have a problem um but maybe it's changed I don't know but I sure avoided it like the plague and I don't know any other American Comedians and lots of American minions do play those kind of European cities I don't know anybody who plays Paris but I could be wrong and I'm sure it'll be great um when you're doing the music and there's songs that people have heard you know it's not like when a comedian does a joke the charm of it is that it's completely new right whereas you're doing songs that they know well maybe because again the tour that I'm doing is like the no parodies tour it's like not only is it no is that right yeah so the whole thing is is uh it's called the uh unfortunate Return of the complete or the ridiculously self-indulgent ill-advised vanity tour so it's like all the stuff that nobody wants to hear but still funny yo no it's still a comedy show right but it's not like the hits it's not like you know we're not gonna eat it we're not doing like a surgeon and why did you decide to do this masochistic thing because uh we wanted I did I got tired of putting on the fat suit for the thousands right and I was like you know can I just do one tour I'm just like we're just going out and being musicians right you know yeah so we did that in 2018 and you know as an experiment and we sold out people loved it correct so we just did it again but we haven't done it in Europe so that's going to be the right that's gonna be the big experiment well you know first of all Europe is a great town I've always said that and I think that um it becomes more and more like America for good and bad yeah um mostly bad but it's some good so whatever I think worked here I I think you'll be fine okay I don't think people book somebody of your stature without knowing what they're doing I mean who's your agency uh I keep forgetting it it's not WME well William Morrison oh WME yeah oh Ari Emmanuel yeah one of my closest friends not my agent I love them but uh yeah he see that they they they're not the kind of agency that [ __ ] it up yeah if they book you in Paris you'll do fine in Paris I will blame you Bill so tell them for me [ __ ] you for the Beatles are the exact words [ __ ] you for the way you treated them I mean that's just what I read about the Beatles had a uh a whole like two-week residency there in January of 64. just when they were they got the news that they had their first hit in America when they were in Paris it was uh they had hits in England for a year but they had just broke the American Market which is what all the English bands always wanted to do was break the American market so many English Stars pop stars thought they were going to be worldwide stars and then they crashed in America and the Beatles thought that was likely what was going to happen to them too so they were Beyond thrilled uh when they got the news when they were in Paris that I want to hold your hand was number one in America but that [ __ ] French audience brought them down the next night okay so they were there for two they had two weeks of math yes they were like the Olympia or some some theater where they played you know and I'm sure they had the asses in seats but they just you know it's kind of like it sounded to me kind of like when um people sometimes played Japan and they don't realize that their way of showing appreciation is less um it's very polite boisterous shall we say yeah because we say that sometimes like oh that was a very Japanese audience tonight right yeah I've always had that argument with certain comedians who say uh there's no such thing as a bad audience and I guess that's my I am on the other side of that there is absolutely such a thing as a bad audience what there isn't is an audience who knows they're bad ah they don't know they're bad because we're the ones who hear different audiences each night right so we have something to compare with they have nothing to compare it they're just there and they think they're fine they don't you should have a lot I got on your iPhone like this was last night's audience something had some some comparison I'm sure when I was just starting out and like horrible at stand up and lashing out of the audience for my mistakes I'm sure I said some version of that like Tony it's love that too I actually did that you know like no of course no thanks for the feedback we'll do better now exactly yeah as if an audience would react that way to being brown people with an unflattering comparison made you feel better though yeah well you know yeah I mean I don't know what you're what were your early like the first times on stage the first year I mean my memory is mostly pain yeah mostly I mean I think the our very first tour I think the very first show we had tour well how could you have a tour if you didn't how did you build up to even having a tour well I mean I'm just saying that when we've had our first tour there were like nine people in the first show right but prior to that I mean in 1982 I've talked about this a bunch we we opened for the band missing persons do you remember them missing person I know the name I can't but they're very popular in LA right uh Terry and Dale bozio um but we were at the Santa Monica Civic and I was opening for them and this is before I had a record deal I had some airplay on the Dr Demento show some airplane but a very very you know just starting out and I we got had the opening slot and uh I remember I walked out there uh with my accordion and people just started throwing stuff right like 45 minutes solid solid and I've never to this day I've never seen an audience like this before they didn't even applaud a courtesy applaud at the end of the song it was just like get off the stage like 45 minutes of that and and I will tell you that they they threw everything that was a nail down and after the after after the curtain went down this is such a vivid memory I remember this so clearly after the curtain went down our whole band was on the floor picking up nickels and quarters that were thrown out it's like oh a quarter but what did they throw like like bottles yeah um I mean it wasn't if they did it didn't hit anybody right but they just threw everything no I was I was thrown at I went so first of all I was throwing that uh I was opening for Niels Lofgren yeah who uh then joined the Springsteen band yeah no um great great play a great guy I don't know him well but we correspond every once in a while he's just a great guy I don't think I even met him that night I was just the opening act and he was an up-and-coming rocker and it was in like a suburb of Baltimore as I recall in some room and yeah I mean it was just like what a great baptism and you had to stay up there because you if you got off you wouldn't get the money right they may even have said that to me anticipating the barrage of debris that was going to come my way do you ever troll them when you know that it's it's like bombing so badly that and you have to stay there anyway no I think I I try to I I don't know it's so long ago and it was such a horrible moment but I did I think I was just thinking about the fact that you know I can do this I can stay up you know that's you're not going to get me to leave I think it was all that was in my head Al Franken tells the story sometime about how you just lean into it like I forget if he was opening for the Grateful Dead or some some band that was very popular and he was not popular at the time and uh and they would start booing him and just yelling for him to get off the stage and he'd say no no no you don't understand the more you Boo the the sooner the bad plays I I want to tell you jokes don't you understand right and you just get madder and matter and matter that was Al Franken yeah man do you remember when he was in the comedy team with Tom Davis sure sure did you ever see their special they did a in 19 like 82 right around there they did a special for uh I think I believe it was the fledgling Showtime Network uh-huh it was it was taped live on a campus some of the funniest like two-man comedy you should check it out there I don't I don't know if I've seen that special but the broadcast uh Museum or is on the holidays no it's just it's just them doing different sketches like there's one where Al plays um a male prostitute who is not gay but he just is giving hand jobs for five dollars blow jobs for ten dollars under the bridge and just it's very uh you know straightforward interview about it's just an economic thing um there's one where they sketch for these talking about um what to do if you have to drink and drive you've been at a party you've been asked to leave your girlfriend is passed out you're gonna drive you know wrap whatever you're going to hit around the biggest piece of metal you could you know just advice on drinking it I mean it was so Politically Incorrect at the end they bring on their parents like the well I think he did that sounds that sounds familiar did they do that other places I I have to I think so where they bring it's of course not really his mama yeah yeah but they're so proud of us blah blah blah and then and then the mother says one like like critical thing in the show she's a very good out but do you have to like shut up mom yeah the show ends with [ __ ] you Mom [ __ ] you Dad to just to end a special with [ __ ] you Mom [ __ ] you dad I just feel like we need more of that you know we need to bring that back and then to think yeah we do and then to think that that guy went on to be a senator and then be an unsenator for really no good reason yeah you know I've been an uncentered my whole life so I'm used to it I mean I know out pretty well I mean he took a a gag photo that they lost their [ __ ] about you know I mean there was accusations of I don't know it was like his hand was on my back when we took a picture you know it was yeah and the one some of them were just not credible and it just didn't add up to like and I don't know just just like people hate weakness and like they hate that way more than whatever the horrible picture and I his hand moved down my back was that it's just and you know but I don't know if you follow politics the Democrats did very well last night compared to expectations you know I I've uh shut off social media for the last 24 hours because I didn't want to like be part of the horse race I just wanted to just tell me how it ends we don't know because we are of a stupid system where like they they take months to count the votes and places it's really gonna the Senate is going to be cited by Georgia and that won't they have to have a runoff there it won't come in until December 6th you know what I don't know it's but it's not like we're asking for the check I mean I always say it like when you read the paper it does seem like the world is going to hell in a handguard and it really is but life has not yet gotten bad I mean your life is fantastic right I mean you wouldn't do the road unless you needed to yeah I mean unless you wanted right right you don't need to it's fun you're doing something fun right you're you're a 60-something year old man who's getting up there and singing weird songs and funny lyrics and people are laughing at you and you get that drug in your veins of hearing that laughter and like Bob Hope said the gardeners don't do it you've got to get out you got to find it you got to get that drug you man you're an addict you know so what do you do the other six months so is it six months what would you is it always I mean if there's no schedule there's no schedule I mean you know no but if you're six months on then like when did this tour doing the math of yeah I mean when did this tour start this this last tour started end of April and just ended like last week okay so now you you're off till next April um your painter is like uh February March oh and after that uh no plans totally no plans so now you have like a few months off yeah so what do you do this I'm gonna you have a spare room this is a nice place I mean I do I do um no but really what are you you've got I've got you know I haven't seen my wife in a while so we're reconnecting and right doing that um you know I'll probably like play video games on my underwear for a couple weeks uh you know I just I mean just just unplugging just decompressing kids uh I think yeah no there's one there's one there is yeah no I've got a 19 year old daughter named Nina and she uh she goes to school back East oh but it's holiday time you'll see her yes yes okay so what does she want to be when she grows up she's well not not sure but she's majoring in English and environmental science and art so she'll save the world somehow I'm sure okay so um see you family time but like what that's a lot of hours to fill like if you ask me like what because I have time this is what I'm approaching my like big break because after um I think the 25th which is maybe right after I know I have two more real times and I have one more two more stand updates for the year but the last one is Vegas like I think I'm doing Vegas you know what I love about Vegas the people there of course also addicts gambling addicts so they don't care about holidays you can play Christmas day oh yeah no yeah yeah they're like Christmas [ __ ] Santa Claus I'm down eight thousand dollars okay um so I think I'm there for Thanksgiving weekend whatever after that I'm off for the rest of the year like now what are you gonna do exactly laughs exactly but I will give you that person for the hospital I feel fine I'm fine I don't want Christmas at all I will give you an answer you avoided mine I will give you an answer I did not avoid your ad well you're very vague for the amount of hours I feel like reconnecting with my wife I have a daughter is very big here's my answer like uh catch up on masturbation okay um also just like I'm a chronic organizer so like I'm sure you're familiar we know it show that well now I can say the word with entropy yes ah so here you are you play a you play a weirdo but you're actually a very smart guy I knew that nobody that rich is nuts but uh life tends toward entropy the tendency of everything to go toward Randomness yeah um the universe is tending toward entropy I'm not going to worry about it because Trump is still a lot yeah okay but I feel worried about the heat death of the universe that's something that's always on my mind the hate death hate because at some point billions of years from now it's all gonna what if it's not a billion what if it's faster than we think it could be happened like Thursday okay but entropy yeah like the tendency of all things to get more random and like I think the professor had in college who explained it was like if you don't um tend to your sock drawer for like a month in socks are all you know messed up and mismatched and okay so like all year long entropy happens and then I can't stand it but I don't have time to fix it and then at the end of the year I can I can like sit home for a month like and and I really don't have to see anybody or do anything and I'm just like puttering around the house organizing filing your socks filing my socks you know winnowing the book have my books are all like by category and in order and like getting them that I mean my t-shirts are in order are you the kind of person that has to do it yourself you could just like delegate yes exactly I pack when I pack for the trip I always do it myself and I pack just the amount I need like like we were away somewhere a few months ago and there was plain trouble and we couldn't leave that night so we had to stay over one more night and I was like completely [ __ ] I had no soap no you know like toothpaste like I take just the amount I need for the time I'm away right well I learned my lesson then ah talking about you're lucky you get to pack for two days I have to pack for six months right how do you do how do you do it how do you so what do you do all day when you're living on a bus why do you want to be on a bus in the day I sleep and I I I ca it's hard for me to sleep on a moving bus so I usually stay up like six or seven in the morning and then sleeping smell like exhaust sorry [Laughter] doesn't it smell like exhaust no I lost my sense of smell a long time ago is that right no no doesn't it if it does I I don't even notice it I feel like this tension of a bus that maybe I'm remembering from when I used to take the bus in New York and I get it at the Port Authority and I just felt like it would carry that smell of bustness into outer space I mean it doesn't smell Bussy it doesn't no really not to me at least I mean it's a nice bus I'll bet it's state of the art I bet it's state of the [ __ ] heart what I'm sure it is it's nice so you're welcome on the bus Bill uh well you know maybe I'd like to see the bus okay so what what are the accoutrements on the bus that like what do you there's a refrigerator no kidding well I was just not like you know nothing of a disco ball hanging from the ceiling it's just like you know it's got a t it's got some TVs it's got a bathroom uh it's got a bathroom with a shower which nobody ever uses but and the bathroom doesn't feel like a bus bathroom right it feels more like a private school bathroom no it's not elaborate but it's still yeah and I I shower uh at the venues so I wait for that and uh are other people on the bus at some point well yeah I mean so they're traveling from place to place right of course so there's other people in your home basically for six months of the year all day well they're like my brothers so it's it's I'm just saying we're just different yeah yeah I mean what what about uh I've heard you know like this rule about the bathroom oh it's totally true I hope so yeah just thinking about it I'm disgusted yeah yeah so but that's just something you know there's this phrase Nature Calls right I mean what happens in your body Bill train your body really yeah you'd cat like a dog like a little litter box yeah in the front line oh [ __ ] yeah so nobody ever does it in the bus but you but you can do it no I do not even at night when there's nobody there and it's just you you must no really yes no number two on the bus that's the number one rule so we're in rock and roll where do you do it at uh like gas stations well at the hotel I mean the bands checks in the hotel so I'll go into the hotel to use the bathroom or if we're there where the van yeah use the venue okay so after tonight yes I don't want to say this on the air but you're going to email me your net worth and depending that isn't that online isn't everything online depending on what this number is will determine how much [ __ ] I'm going to give you about going to the bathroom at a gas station at your age because I have a feeling that's going to be a very big number oh and you're going to get a lot of [ __ ] okay because that's just crazy I mean nothing could be yes the the the the Roar of the crowd the smell of the grease paint the peels of laughter the love from the crowd I agree that's right up here and then on the other side [ __ ] at the Shell station I gotta go with not [ __ ] at the Shell station that doesn't bother me though I see we're different people you were different people people who need sheeple come on we'll write a new battery I just saw a funny girl like last week when you're in New York I just saw Streisand there you go I topped you there dude you sure did we showed the show no no I saw her at her birthday party nice oh yeah we're friends she's awesome I love her did you ever do a parody of uh I never did no do you have to get permission from people it's you know every time somebody asks that I always use the phrase gray area because it is um you know I don't necessarily need to but uh I've made it a policy because I don't like like to you know step on people's toes so that's what I mean your name is Weird Al but you're really this nice oh polite reasonable I don't want to step on toes please I couldn't just take your song but this is not what I want to do we need I want you to be happy I want you to be happy I'm good here at the Shell station leave a light off it's okay I'll go in the dark it's fine it's my name on the tour bus it's my my talent that's selling all this [ __ ] at the Shell station with everybody else just like a regular person I'm not a special guy ah and what can the toilet paper be like in there I just I'm obsessed with this and it's what kind of toilet paper in the Shell station or where you're [ __ ] I mean it's just like it's so ridiculous there must be a way that technology could fix this so you could have both things that you could both be on the road we've got to get musk or someone smart on this issue just maybe a house that like traveled well that work I don't know wouldn't it be better than a bus a house that travels yeah I've seen you know what I've seen houses on the road when they're moving houses do you ever see that yeah I don't think that's a viable option though no really what hey wait that's not a wait a second if they can carry it if they can take a house if you can get a man to the Moon I have seen this where they're moving a whole house yes I have to okay people don't live in those houses while they're moving why but some people see a house on the road and they say why I see a house on the road and say why not why not if you can carry it on the road why not live in it on the road and it is a whole house and they take up like three lanes of traffic right I mean it's like I don't think that would be it wouldn't be very popular on the highway well why do they allow them to do it at all I mean yes they do take up three lanes of traffic but it's not like they say because you can do something doesn't mean you should well and I guess getting through the toll booth as well on the New Jersey Turnpike it's going to present a problem how do houses get through like stuff like that or the tunnel looks like it might be a challenge yeah all right you've aced me again if you've still mated me on this I've taken up enough of your time but uh congratulations on the movie I can't wait to see it honestly well thanks man and uh since you're you say you live very near yeah I've been to your place now right and you've been on Politically Incorrect yes so you said yes I don't know it was so long ago I may not have been I don't remember it I don't want to remember I don't care people are like hey doesn't pot affect your memory I'm like who gives a [ __ ] like and not to the point of I don't remember who I am like what I do or you know why houses can't be traveled in I I'm obsessed with this all right good luck on your birthday appreciate it foreign [Music] yeah no please that's yours that's just the way we are here where's my toes

Channel: Club Random Podcast

Views: 385,569

Keywords: club random podcast, club random, podcast, bill maher, bill, maher, club random with bill maher, real time, real time with bill maher, Weird Al Yankovic, weird al yankovic amish paradise, weird al, volcano, comedy, white and nerdy, parody, weird al yankovic vevo, pop, weird al vevo, rca records label, weird al star wars, official music video, this is the life weird al, this is the life, weird al fat, eat it

Id: oTg0L5aT2cg

Length: 72min 49sec (4369 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 14 2022