Jerry Seinfeld | Club Random with Bill Maher

hey Club random fans guess what I did I wrote a damn book it's called what this comedian said will shock you and it's available for pre-order now where you get your books or at Simon and cher.com when I first saw Monty Python when I was a kid I lost my mind like this is everything that I want if I could have just been a pure standup and never done anything else but you're already known as the purest of the pure standups I must tell you I got up this morning I was like Christmas morning that no really I felt I I have felt that Christmas morning Vibe because like Jerry Seinfeld's gonna be here not I got I am excited too I got excited too I've been excited for a couple days it looks odd that we're talking about being excited in this position with each other sit down there's a stripper ball right there I see um but you'll never guest who just called me Leno I just talked to him too he uh but I said yeah I haven't seen him in a while I really would love to get together maybe the three of us when you're out that'd be amazing so that's what's good about these shows though which I'm sure you've already discovered and I discovered with The Comedians and Cars people I can't I I I can't I'm not calling people up and hanging out but when if you do a show I said it every week yeah yeah and includ both people who I know like you who are like exactly why are we here yeah because we're forced to we're not it's just this crazy force of thing that makes us we don't need the money you don't need the promotion although we'll certainly do what we can thank you but there the other thing is I don't know how you feel I think you might be a little different this way but I don't like to be around people not working this the working is kind of this Bas it's like a baseline current it's like a a beat it's like I can hang out with almost any comic if we're here to do a gig if we're just if I'm here just to enjoy your company that's not good but to me no the art it's not going to be good enough your company you know get a set in and chat and screw around and get some new material I mean I could take that the wrong way but I'm not going to yes I completely see the point about and said it to about work but also to while you are working do exactly what you would be if you were not working in other words if we let's go over that again if we if we were just here and we weren't working we I want this conversation to be zero different oh that won't happen that can't happen because uh I mean let's I'm I'm a Savvy professional do you think I don't know that if I say something stupid it won't uh okay I can do it no even you are you are also the saviest professional if I what do you weigh right now Bill what do you weigh why is that a relevant question uh what's the name of the show club random you're right okay um what do you we I think probably 152 today what today today it varies yeah me too I weigh uh I weigh 166 today and what were you in 1979 79 I was probably 150 probably the same but I think you have a you're slightly smaller um I don't know over time or you mean compared to you yes some it's a frame you're a little you're a little bigger a little bit yeah also ego yes well I don't know that's a close race let's let's well listen before I uh forget I so what can I get Jerry for his birthday I mean the man you have everything you're a great star never get tired of that do you ever get tired of that no one else ever said those words but Don you're a great star I know I only say it to you no one else but uh you so bad about uh she took the necklace off and the head hits the sink some of those things they made no sense you know drop your pants and fire a rocket well he didn't want to say fire rocket out of my ass that's what he wanted to say oh but he was very very clean which is interesting because he that he had those little uh what what do we call them uh uh he would just kind of bend the rules let's say for television and for his oh yes you know but yeah drop my pants and fire a rocket out of my ass that's what you're supposed to you're supposed to finish it in your head I didn't even know that was a thing oh sure um well I loved it as a kid matter what he did you know and he certainly would be the eminently canable today no h let's not oh I promise you I saw him you you can't move him from from then to now without him modulating he wouldn't have you don't know that he's he's he's gonna want to work I think the man likes to work but okay but I saw him doing it like later than it should have been I saw him opening yeah yeah that was a misc a miscalculation right yeah anyway anyway I want this is so you Bill I'm so touched it's not you don't even know what it is yet don't worry I'm not really touch What It Is Well I hope you were touched by what I gave you at your I was I put it very prominently in my little Den that was the the metal rabbit I love it and I look at it and I think of you and and it's it's a bit it's too much cuz you really well and it's true and let me tell the people oh gosh do we have to you tell them you don't want to all right go ahead it's okay I mean it's it's not I mean it's not a big deal it was very sweet it very nice but I but it it limbs I think for an audience who you really are to us the comedians I had a rabbit made by the way it's they don't make rabbits I had to haveit made because that you can get a bunny on Amazon bunnies are all over but but not like the Rabbit in motion the idea was Jerry was always the rabbit in Among The Comedians he was the lead leader of the pack who we were all chasing and it was inscrib the rabbit we never caught uh what you don't remember that of course I you said it like oh I don't I didn't think I read it does that does it say that on there it does oh I never read it I I'll I'll go home right after this and read it you just remember me saying it at the yes yes that's uh interesting wow well anyway that's exactly who you are always were you've also been a great friend you know you you were there when I did the first week of Politically Incorrect you didn't have to you flew to Washington on your wife's birthday in 2014 when I needed a guest on when we did our special show in DC that's right when you did the standup special the and I certainly have vivid memories of like one time I got off stage at the comic strip and I had tried like all this new material this my first year and remember you I look back and I think you must have been thinking you [ __ ] idiot but you were nice enough to be like yeah you should just try one or two new things and it was you know advice I needed to get and probably did not follow for another three years but I went through all like my file from 1979 because I thought what can I get the person has everything you've got the amazing career the perfect wife the great family the the Adoration of a Grateful Nation the only thing I can get you is to amuse you and give you a memory or bring back a memory so here's my show and toil box look at this from 1979 what is it Comedy Hour bu M company I don't know why I'm in company it's my first year in comedy but look at the time 12:30 to 1:30 12:30 to 1:30 well you can't give me this this I'm not giving it to you there is something I do want to give you oh okay um that I've treasured for 50 years 60 years but I 60 yeah yeah it's from the it's 1964 but 12:30 the fact that we were doing shows all the time and this is well 12:30 would be a bad time to do the show a.m. or P p.m. yeah but this this was noon this was a nooner okay so all right so here's the thing I want to have framed if you like it for you um see if you can see what this is I bet you you here wait you're oh I'm a packrat you're not oh my god do you know what that is of course I know what it is and I love this more than anything yes were you there I I live for it I went many many times and I have quite a bit of memorabilia myself anything blue and orange that says World's Fair on it I have it not anything well that is the map that told you where all the Pavilions and everything was at the 1964 World's Fair which oh let's let's be honest Bill what and say there's a sadness to what the world seemed like to us at this time what we thought it was what everybody wanted it to be right I was looking at this the other day and I see like you know the GM Pavilion and the for and I thought you know nobody bitched about every [ __ ] thing back then now they every Pavilion would have somebody in front of it like you know you're making oil and you can't you know like nobody would just enjoy the [ __ ] well it's Jim bro Jimmy Brogan's great heckler line that he used to do uh when people would start to Heckle he would always say I'm sorry we don't have microphones for everyone remember that line I don't unfortunately that's what happened right that's what happened and yes it ruined everything but how do you have this by the way because I'm a packrat I'm the opposite of you this is a map of the World's Fair looks like an architectural rendering I no I think they gave it to you like so that you could know where you know hey I'm here at the at the Finland Pavilion no really and we want to get to Muriel cigars before lunch we want to get to I remember walking around here at at one point being very like tired and my feet were hurt yes remember how boring the countries were I don't want to see any countries let's go to the well the Caribbean you'll see that was on there that was kind of a good one do you remember the stories of the kids that got lost in there and their parents left them there and they were living off the coins in the fountain they eat corn dogs I don't remember that but I do remember kids getting lost there and well if if you you're going to give this to me I want to have it framed and then give it to you yes I would love it and I'll put it up on my wall because this means a lot and you can look at it endlessly because this it's so intricate and they have all the incredible oh thank you Billy that's lovely see you can't get that at Sears no no so funny that you mentioned Jimmy Brogan this is what I took out of uh TV Guide in 1979 the year I met you at the clubs uh I I kept every one of the Fall preview issues of TV Guide that had all the new shows you know what I'm talking about of course and that was like that was a big event for me when I was a kid the fall shows yeah like this one I do not remember but this is um a man called Sloan Robert Conrad W I love him I wanted to be him yeah what a stud stars is Thomas Remington Sloan III a stylist Cosmopolitan and unnervingly effective Globe circling secret agent not unlike James Bond who reports directly to the president of the United States but look who's at the bottom out of the blue with Jimmy Brogan and I cut that out because it was like wow I know a guy in TV guun right like that really see like I said like there was nobody else here I've read for Trapper John so many times what that I don't know why they kept reading me they never put me on the show I was desperate to get on in the 80s so here it is Trapper John Trapper John I didn't know you read for guest starring on a couple of times yeah I know you did the Benson you were a regular yes well I did three episodes I thought it was like seven no it was three and they fired me oh oh mercifully that's very close to the guy who didn't sign the Beatles yeah you know oh sorry that's all right by the way drink you don't drink or you just have uh I drink but it's a little early and I'm driving it it oh you're driving you drove yourself yeah what a stud yeah but we know how you feel about cars yeah I drove uh an old mercedesbenz diesel here I mean I just that level of car I mean I guess Jay has it too level of car enthusiasm yeah I don't want to talk about that I don't either I don't like to I I know it's not of any interest but um but but to your credit you made it interesting to me on the show like when you did those Acura Comm commercials little yeah you got a little interested I know well not enough to like pursue it but like it was I was interested in the connection you had between the person and the car yeah why you felt that was that I thought was elegant yeah people like that um I never understood the one you picked me up in it was a German police it was for one joke which is it was a VW police car because this is you're someone who seems to have a lot of power and has none and I thought that that that's what that car is a VW police car you're police but you can't catch anybody so well yeah I guess um I noticed that like in that show though like in your own kind of sein felian way you did become like such a truth teller you know not obviously not political the way I do it but like you just used your political capital from the first show right I felt like you know the popularity that you would acred to like go well I'm just going to say what the [ __ ] I want and it's not always going to be that pleasing to everybody and that's so to me the most refreshing thing in Show Business yeah but it wasn't it was nothing really like I suppose it was a little more revealing than what people had known prior but not that much really I don't know whatever you I that's what I think oh okay I mean just because you were you weren't playing from a script like in right the show I mean you're you're that's a character first of all obviously close but you know I mean the the situations were so absurd right more ridiculous that it was a show about nothing nothing it was show about everything right you all those right that's not and then now you're just talking to somebody and they're saying you know like what do you think you owe your kids nothing right you know you just you know you know you said things about like family and stuff like that that was like oh wow yeah well that's what this show is but what you've accomplished with this show because I thought nobody has always been more um um I don't want to use the word transparent but you you we probably know more about your opinions than any other celebrity in right yeah out there and yet on this show there was a whole other world of stuff that I can't believe I still can't believe when you were on with I think it was Mammoth and you and you got into a thing about the the battery shortage in Germany that that they were trying to go electric but kind of overshot it and I'm going how does this guy stop at that article in the paper and they like yeah I need to know more about the German power grid stop you're being you don't think you know about many many things no I don't not like you really no I watched the show to see what does Bill know that I didn't know he knew and I'm always Blown Away wow that one was amazing and then you talk with that other guy about the Bible and you know all about the Bible I'm old I know but your your brain is your brain is worthy of uh all the attention it gets well finish your thought Jer um no I I think you're amazing and I I'm enjoying you as much now you're such a sphinx I didn't even know you ever saw this show I watch everyone how do I know these things I texted you about doing this you never texted me back texted you back love to I'm a fan of the show oh yes that originally then then I text you about a month ago and said U what about when you're doing the promoting the the poptart movie and I didn't hear back your people got back and said yeah he's going to do it I was like thrilled but it's like cuz I already told you I'm I want to do it I know that's but most people are not quite see again I'm a rat pack you are the guy you is there's no extra no extra I do like that I love no yeah I mean I think to quote one more thing that I quoted before about the Paul Simon song that I always think that is you and it's it's it's such an amazing song one trick pony and you anything but a one trick pony because you've been successful in when you did reinvent the talk show you had your series and you've done movies but there's that middle part he makes it look so easy looks so clean he moves like God's Immaculate machine he makes me think about all these extra moves I make and all this Herky jerky emotion and the bag of tricks it takes to get me through my working day I feel like I'm the Herky jerky guy well you're not and you're the guy who's like just gliding through with no extra and no baggage and no stupid mistakes and and that song by the way hit me like that too I thought that's everything I want to be what he's describing I thought that's it that's what think you are that I I don't try I don't know I mean you were always like more mature than the rest of us like in back in the day what did you do that was immature professionally speaking we we all knocked professionally and personally lot many things let's not not professionally yeah absolutely professional I used to piss off the crowd so they hated me so much no matter what kind of joke I told no matter how funny it was they would never laugh that's the most unprofessional thing you can do I remember once at the comedy C or the MC getting on after me and saying to the audience okay that bad man is gone now that is absolute no run Fest I think it was that bad man is gone now yeah I was very okay I consider that just growth no creative experimentation that yet you need no no it's got experiment no no it was a totally a function of a bad attitude um your bad attitude has matured I hope totally you're the you're one of the most successful people in the history of television and standup comedy I have been on a long time yes let's be real most guys would wear a t-shirt every day of their lives if they could the problem is that most t-shirts are not acceptable to wear at work or out on a hot date today's sponsor Cuts has finally changed that cuts t-shirts are such highquality wrinkle-free and so buttery soft that you look like you're dressing up even when you're dressing down yeah you heard 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terms conditions message and data rates may apply yeah my aesthetic role model was Mike Tyson when I saw Mike Tyson in his prime when he cut the hole in the hotel town and had no socks and no stool and black shorts with nothing on them right I thought that's what I want to be oh my God and recently just a few years ago I don't know what it was I said why am why do I have these different colored ties and Suits I go I'm just wearing a black suit and a black tie from now on it just felt so calm we visited Japan uh last December I was so happy there I I I connected so strongly with that that ethic of their culture of just focus and simplicity and Singularity of purpose you know I do like that and I have done these other things and I have to say it's all with a uh a component of reluctance I do it to think I think I could do that you know like the movie like I think I could do that or let's do a different type of talk show I think I might be able to do that but it's not really what I wanted if I could have just been a pure standup and never done anything else but you're already known as the purest of the pure standups that's your that is like your and it's real and by the way this leads me to something I feel nervous about telling you I feel like you're the Confessor to this but like after this year I'm going to stop doing it um really well or I could go back I don't want to make like a big announcement or something go ahead well I mean I'm doing a a special at the end of the year right it'll be my 13th for HBO that's a lot that's a lot um and I just feel like you gota I don't know you know first of all I put a lot of time and effort into it because as you know standup is like playing the cello you can't just walk up there you have to stay in practice and I do and I've always loved it and I'm always working on it but I have a show yeah you know I mean I don't know how you kept it up during the show or frankly why but you did because they fed each other first of all it was so great and also cuz I love it I mean it's it's you know I can be the loosest I can you know the show is great but there's constricts there um this is looser but you know what's looser than just you people paid to see me yeah even if you don't like it you kind of have to laugh just to get your money's worth uh the way you stay in a movie even though if it sucks I don't want to walk out my my father would pay $2 to see a movie and would hate it and wouldn't leave get godamn Mother's yeah waited till it came to the uh theater you know where there was one theater in Bergen County where the Ries would come late and so they'd be like two bucks yeah all right let's get back to yeah so uh you know but if I don't have to practice the cello 8 hours a day I can do you know I might want to do some of these kind of things live that's kind of an interesting option that people do nowadays oh right you know and then it's kind of an event um interesting you know yeah that I I it's not crazy it's not crazy it's not crazy it's not crazy I mean the the the landscape of of the business which is one one of the things I love about the business is everybody's like what what is going on you know what do we do what are we supposed to do what's so and so doing why is he doing that should I do that I love that enless uh uh grind everybody has always Harang everybody's always on the phone you know um you mean like what's happening in yeah did you see what so and so did what' you think of that right you know right streaming and you know and I think perhaps um for you for whatever feels right for you at this point is what's right but that's what after 40 years that's why I don't want to like make an announcement this is my final because I might change my mind I might it might be like cutting off a limb and I have to I have to go back to it how do you view the show how do you view real time um in you know how old are you now 60 something Jerry I'm right always hot on your heels when you when you whatever a year and a half behind you whatever it is do you do you ever look forward or do you stay focus only forward only forward but I mean do you think you know maybe another five and and uh no I can't J the LA Michaels line I I asked him how much longer you think you'll do SNL he says you know I think it'll get to the point that I I I'll feel like I'm slowing down and I don't have the same Edge I don't have the same enthusiasm for it and he says when I get to that point I'll do five more years and I love that answer I love that answer I I am I would I I be I would love for us to compare notes who is more addicted to show business you or me because I love it to death today as much as even more everything else in life for me has fallen away has gone GR I mean uh I loved uh um having kids and I'm uh that whole side of my life has been great but you always have to say that you know but but if you're just talking about work let's just talk about work Kiron and J you know I I'm I love show business as much today as ever if not more because I tried every other goddamn thing but you say you don't love Show Business you love standup that's Show Business I know but it's that one aspect again you're such a minimalist you're so direct with everything that everything peels away no extra things and that's you that's why I think you will do it till you drop I will I will um and maybe I will too I don't know it it's it's it's it's a tough decision but I also feel like um it's easy as you get older to not do new things and that's what keeps you young I think that's part of the reason I want to do this is like definely because look I mean we're doing a podcast have you said to me 10 years ago even you know the big thing in Show Business is going to be basically AM radio right I would have said you're crazy right and yet I mean you talk about too many people at the beginning of the marathon clogging the road right I mean there's like four million podcasts in America and but no one's doing this one I know but it it's it would be like if Johnny Carson when we watched him had you know um four million like late night shows that people had that they you know maybe only 500 watch this one and a thousand watch this one but his rating cumula all of all those tiny ants sucking a little bit away would have left him not with 17 million which he had at his height but you know something much more modest that's the problem with so many podcasts no why what you of all you're doing the thing that you hate the most which is moving people around in in chronology if Johnny Carson was is forget that we're here now you're you we're here now it doesn't matter what he would have done or what matters is this makes go ahead finish your point oh my God what year is that 1979 oh Carson must stay can you what a baller he was right I mean just to like have the headlines like about what you but you're right he would not I mean as great as he was he would not survive today he was just that show breathed way too much for the current audience right I know yes I who cares the world wouldn't make him today they don't make those guys anymore they don't make George C Scott anymore you know what loomed large in our world even as late as 1964 cuz it was 20 years after but World War II was like my childhood I looked back it was like everything my parents were in it the TV shows were about it right Hogan Heroes and Mel's Navy and combat and didn't you kind feel also as a kid I just missed it I mean it was when I played Army I played World War II it wasn't and there was no Nuance to it we were good yes they were bad yeah and you know I me it was like a a a big hug musical that's what World War II was here's a musical for everyone you know yeah and everyone was involved in it m like nobody was ever like uh I'm just doing something different these days no no World War II um but anyway I'm still not quite uh to the essence of why it feels right to you to not do it anymore um I don't know because it's the cello and are you um that's part of travel and travel writing how much time how do you I don't even how do you do a TV show and do any standup stuff I mean I'm not married no kids my all my time is mine right so that's that's one way um I like that I mean you know me I think we're very similar to this I love the tinkering MH I love the I put that word in front of this thing and I move this over here it's like putting together a Rubik's Cube yes you know and I move this here and now it all fits I you know for 6 months it was good but now it's great because and I feel bad for those audiences that last six months because like but it's same way in a relationship I always felt like oh if I only knew what I learned on her yeah with you I would have been a lot better with you but I can't you know we can't uh reverse time but you didn't answer my question about real time what was that which is do you think of how many years first of all you're at at 20 how many 25 years uh real time starting with um well Politically Incorrect well that's 31 that okay 31 that counts oh I know I know know what do you think well I certainly wouldn't want to quit now because I'm feel like I'm at the top of my game absolutely and lots of people tell me that and and uh that's why I put out this book Jerry I signed it to you also but you know I have a book how' you do that the strike with the same glasses even the strike it's amazing the strike oh had five months to and it's just it's all the editorials we do at the end wow that I put together in a way that made sense and re edited no I put a lot of work into this I'm sure you did shut up um but uh I I think what standup is for you is what writing that editorial at the end of the show is for me oh okay that's what well that piece I never ever Miss oh thank you for the writing for the flow of it the consistency uh is shocking your cons your level of consistency is is shocking and uh it's it's the best comedy monologue every week that anyone does and you even make a point on top of being funny which is you know usually a point no one else is making right that's I mean it's very easy and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that I mean this is Christmas morning for me now but uh I mean other shows I feel like are partic in one way or the other I I rarely hear a thought that I haven't heard anywhere else you know they will amplify it and get but Their audience doesn't want to the audience they just mostly wants to hear what they already believe and they W yes Trump's an [ __ ] and and Trump is an [ __ ] and I certainly have done my chair of jokes about that but I I'm always trying to say something that's not breaking a news story but breaking a new way of looking at a news story right and you know consider this and um oh it's just fantastic it's fantastic well I appreciate it and you know you know what uh I don't know like you when you would go on Larry King that was always so great yeah I L that it was great that show don't you think there's a hole for that show I think it's Joe Rogan I think Joe what you just put your hands up like no no what what I'm getting at is what was I thought special about that show was it was 9 o' every night at 9 o' Larry King was going to be sitting with someone right who could probably be of interest yes and that was a a a great TV that was great TV um the set I thought was I love the multicolor dots the Blackness you know uh not like he was the greatest interview in the world but he was good well that but that's why I compared him to Joe Rogan because they they're both minimalists both of them do zero research by their own admission right like it's a they just I think Joe would say the same thing Larry said I want to be the audience I want to be the guy who knows nothing about you I know but he's on for three and a half hours Larry King is you know it's on at 9: you're wandering around the house you're looking for something to do who's got who's on Larry King right that was that was a great thing I can't believe they haven't tried to replace that I don't know who would do it but well they did Piers Morgan did it for a minute yeah he wasn't right I don't I I don't think it's the fact that there's nobody uh right for it I think it's the fact that the audience is different I mean we don't have well that was one of the last shows well it wasn't really a hearth show but like in our it was it was a Heth show okay so so like in our youth but not to the level like in our youth like when there was three channels and all the new shows were in that issue of TV Guide like the family had a communal experience with television Don Rickles you know we all remember all like it was an event when he was on The Tonight Show especially in the summer when we could stay up the famous one where he threw them in the Japanese bath memb getting them m it was amazing that throw by the way that he was able to do that why you saying it was it was quite a a Jitsu that oh Johnny threw him yeah Johnny threw him in Johnny was a mean bastard and like you don't [ __ ] with Johnny I mean that's the other thing about Johnny was I mean he was he could be terrible to people but what everyone at that level is should be terrible to people no you don't mean that you're not terrible to people I'm not I'm not but when you hear someone is I can't believe anybody thinks anything of it I think there's levels to it and I don't think everybody is I think he was just he especially when he drank I mean he just had a a really mean side to him and I mean he could close off I read that uh biography by bushin remember right bombastic bushin right and uh I I felt it was so true I don't know it's true but everything I know about Johnny and um it wasn't kissing his ass and it wasn't covering anything up you know he said he he was just as cold as that is his mother was like very cold to him but in a way it it made it easier to watch him I can't watch people that want me to fill that need for them I can't do it I agree they're exhausting I totally agree just a a bombastic bushkin don't you think that that joke was his intense jealousy of Dr Vinnie boombots Rodney's great doctor oh I think Carson loved that joke so much he wanted his own and of course he would steal one steal Su that I'm telling you that's what I mean he was just a badass he broke into his wife's apartment you know that I don't that's in the book it's like when they were going through the divorce yeah yeah I mean like did really badass things um I don't that's badass it's just bad yeah well I'm just telling you didn't [ __ ] around with him and yes I do remember what' you say what did he do that bombastic bushkin was oh wish was a thief he loved Dr Vinnie bombas but he stole the Answer Man from Steve Allen and he stole mod fricker from from Winters yeah we know it was horrible and then he would have them on the show yeah what if they could do he was the king yeah yeah no I'm not saying it was admirable but I guess you know that Persona kind of he was Mr he was gracious you know that was what was Johnny's calling card but boy when that light red light went off I don't think he was that guy did you have uh uh little interactions with him in the hallway ever little of course wasn't that the most exciting thing in the world when you would see him coming down the hall with the tie down didn't have me tell you the story but when I saw him the last um time I did it and I was about to take over and he I'm walking out and he's in his car had like a Corvette yeah the Corvette and it wouldn't start and I said uh boy I bet you Leno knows everything about cars I bet you he'd know what to do and he looked up and he went yeah we'll see how much he knows about television I'm telling you he was a bad man yeah well uh these guys you know they're not it's not a coincidence that they're there all these guys whether politically entertainment industry corporate world a lot of people are there for a reason it I feel like a late night host is always a reflection of the society that we live in better than a lot of other signposts I mean like that's why Leno was right for his era and Johnny was right for his era and what do we have now we have we have Jimmy Kimmel Stephen colar yes and Jimmy Fallon I think are right for them era in that why look at this here's a oh new breed of standup Comics what's that oh these are the the two articles that were in the New York Times am I in any of those you probably are here's Adrien tlsh with a catcher Rising Star t-shirt I have a catcher Rising Star t-shirt all the I it still fits I it's a new one because I hear when you watch them they make lovely hand puppet for the children oh my God B I know Calvin fussman cvin fman who's that he's the writer of this ridiculous why are you keeping this just cuz it's comedy in the day you know what every year of my life I make a file where I just put stuff in because I like to be a good caveman like if I want to go back and excavate and see who was that's one good thing I did made so many dumb errors but that was pretty smart like I saved like look at that Mad Magazine cover I love that I saw that cover aren't you glad aren't you glad I saved this from The Supremes album no no you don't think that's I wasn't missing that you don't think that's cool it's okay be honest Jerry come on come out of your show um yeah the I went through all of my stuff recently new breed and threw out almost all of it of course you did cuz that's you and I'm me because and I thought I don't my kids don't care what I did I even thought that aren't you glad I kept the world fair things yeah you never know which is going to be the one right I think these are all good no some of them are good what about this from Richard beler first of all it's daily planet from the desk of of super comic Richard B oh wow no it's a great shot of him by the way it's just too much when I play The Beacon I always ask the AUD I tell talk about how I started in New York at a club called catch a rising star how many of you remember it and that moment Bill there like about 10% of the audience will applaud it's a great moment I just love that remember how cool that joint was and so much fun to just share that for a second but isn't it a little sad that well and look what he wrote a little no to potentially tremendously sad to to potentially one of the Great B that's funny I think he was talking about himself but um but I think it said that only 10% of the people well you know what come on you're right you're right you know what let it all go let it go no I do Let It Go but I must say bad memories do not make me sad good memories make me sad oh you know bad memories it's like great it's over right good memories it's like [ __ ] we'll never have that again you know right no you never have anything again you seem more at peace with that though I am I am know you know what I came to the other day cuz I'm going through this thing with the movie you know and I you're doing a lot of press and they're watching the movie and they're responding to it you know and I hit me the other morning an insincere compliment is absolutely of equal value as a totally genuine compliment there is no difference in value they're both utterly meaningless and just as nice an insincere compliment is just as nice I don't care if they're lying to my face it doesn't matter what they think anyway what the [ __ ] are you talking about this is ridiculous like I gave you a very wonderful compliment I think and it came from me and it's very sincere and it's true about you that's got to mean more than an insincere compliment um not in that situation where you're meeting strangers and they're saying oh I loved your movie great that's great that's just as great I don't have to know really did you really give me that rabbit thing back a compliment from you who knows me that's what I'm saying that's different oh okay that's different I hope so I'm talking about 90% of the things people tell you in Show Business are not true and not sincere and that's okay and even even when they I shouldn't even admit this it makes me sound Petty but I think all show people are the same sometimes people will give you a compliment and you still don't like it because it's like yeah but you noticed the wrong thing yeah yeah yeah you like the show but you that you thought that was the best part of it yes and it's like you can't pedy doesn't even describe how small minded that is I don't know is what's below Petty whatever that adjective would be you don't feel you never felt that way no really no take what you like whatever you like what do I care what you like all right then why do you keep arguing when I say you're more M more mature than you you have I like to argue I know good I don't believe what I'm I'm taking we're not even arguing um but yeah no that's true I feel like um I've evolved a long way MH but I started really far back way far back yeah it's true I did H I didn't want to talk about that oh here look at this no I always thought this is so funny all this crap you brought out here tell me you're not enjoying this I'm not you said no you said to tell me so I did so get more joke look at this my father was in radio right know right Mutual broadcasting system where this is when the media was respected by this country because these were mutual men of mutual man so where's your dad is he in here right here look right here Bill Mo your dad Mutual Of course well that explains a lot I think we've cracked this case wide open right here Mutual men of conviction isn't that awesome it doesn't resemble you much look at you can't see it's a drawing so that's not what he looked like he did look like that but you know you're very handsome he he looks kind of uh oh no um are we looking at him Stang is it's a drawing from this creeps who made this thing men of conviction so were these guys um they were staff announcers oh but they weren't journalists well I think they would consider themselves journalists Jerry they had deep voices and they were on the radio and uh did your dad have a deep voice you have a deep voice course yeah of course he did when I when he took me to the radio station you know once in a while I'd be like scared the [ __ ] out of me because they all hello young man D sharber I mean look at some of these names Whitney Belton Charles Charles batch older Bill Costello was good as was Jack Allen and Martin Edwards you know I did a little stick uh we we made we made a couple of little video promotion pieces for for the movie and one is where I'm called into the office of the president of Pop-Tarts oh so I needed a name for who would be the president of poptarts and we came up with kelman p gasworth i' I oh he says I'm kman P Gast the president of poptarts and I'm sitting at the end of this long conference table and I go oh I just made a whole movie about poptarts he goes well did you know I can't wait to see this movie so it comes out on next Friday so I it's funny because when I read about this I thought it's both um you making a about pop charts it's both inscrutable and inevitable like that is a great line that's a great line you really like you were going and I just want to know before I see it or maybe you don't want to say this then just don't but like but but what is the metaphor I mean plainly it can't just be about poptart oh my gosh no no it's uh it's quite a deep story bill but it has to be a metaphor for something uh you got me really yeah what again um we're not like the serial killer and the detective we're not really like no it's um I like uh important seeming men in suits like those names you're talking about Puffs and Flakes and sprinkles uh in a very serious way that to me was funny I like it's it's about um it it really is about uh a childhood fantasy and uh wanting to hang on to your childhood and that time and that product and to make this movie I get to go back there I get to go back to when the only thing I cared about was the stingray and my cereal right and the my and the TV shows that I liked and that was that was you know was like a little bubble of uh that I got to get inside for uh a few weeks yeah I mean I have that inclination but our childhood is now just so long ago yeah I mean but the fun of it is is still there yeah I know so and with a movie you get to recreate it but you don't you don't get to really go there no no no but but you don't um have intimations of mortality when you dwell on the distant paast like that that it reminds you that you're closer to the end I'm not that in love with like you you really love life don't you you love it it's okay oh come on now your life oh I I uh CU like when I knew this was your birthday and I was like I bet you he's the same place with birthdays that I am which is like I had a big party here right this room at 60 you had one at 65 after that like yeah it's happening but we don't need to go into it at all I mean people mine's in January Su people said to me a couple weeks after this year oh didn't you just have a birthday and I go um you know maybe I don't know I don't I might have I don't I I don't I didn't check my calar I didn't check my calendar you know because it's just like it's happening I can't deny it but let's just ignore it yeah it's at a certain point cuz you'd still look generically late middle age which is great you know you don't read old no neither do you like Biden yeah like reads old and Trump reads crazy but not old you know yeah okay he reads he just reads differently much well he's got a lot of makeup on you know a lot and the hair color and all that CRA yeah I always say he's like Kiss he puts on the F face paint and the wig and it's always 1976 that is fantastic that is a great joke kind true great job he's like Kiss so funny but yeah so we could probably I mean Mick Jagger is doing it at 80 doing Rock shows uh okay no I'm it's amazing it's amazing but I'm saying if a guy can do rock and roll at 80 certainly comedy what do you think you'll be doing at 80 um I hope very similar to what I'm doing now I yes I would love to I I only in my 60s came to realize how right my mother was when I'm when she once said to me yeah I really like my 50s and 60s the best MH of all the decades um I said that's crazy 60s what are you [ __ ] enough yeah um but their 60s is our 80s physically I mean I don't have I I don't do anything different now than I did in my 40s I could do any number of shows I could go any I don't I haven't made any adjustments I same way but I imagine I mean there's a diminishment to everything yes I mean you know I I can still play basketball but you know that's amazing that's amazing and uh you know I mean but yeah you I think you uh maybe have a little uh tighter grip on this lifetime than than I do it is what it is all you can ever be is um good for your age but I you know as far as how for you can go I feel like I'm and you are too for somewhat different reason uniquely suited to another decade because I never was selling I can dance I can jump around I was selling wisdom right and and sophistication I mean that's why HBO has been such a good home for me it's a sophisticated audience it's a sophisticated show the I mean that word maybe I'm not you know putting that on myself but yeah that is what I strive for and the audience is a sophisticated audience and there's precious little left for people who are sophisticated that's a genre that's a niche but it's always been a small Niche that yes always yes that's what I'm saying you you have a much broader you know somewhat broader majorly broader it's one another reason why I'm probably not going to do any more standup is because like first of all when you're on TV every week it's very hard for people to come out and you know it's harder to get that you're less unique also they they tend to think I'm a political comic which is limiting oh right so like there's guys who are like not half as funny as me selling twice as many tickets I'm a little sick of it not that I can't do nice shows in theaters but it's like it's I am I've always been fighting a little uphill on those things uhhuh uhhuh I see um I think your standup is my editorial that's what I want to do till they put me in the grave is every week come up with that one thing and you know because it's almost Seinfeld and because it's building one very small limited but trying to perfectly craft it and then it's over MH right you know next week There's a new one and on Monday I I you know I mean I will we nail down the premise before the weekend and then Monday you know I read all the passes and put it together you know right my own version and then you know sew it together each day first it gets fatter then it gets smaller you know there's there's a method to it to show it's by Friday I that would be a vacation that for me if you would if I would just sit with you and not contribute but just watch you do that that would entertain me more than any trip to anywhere in the world because I think I don't know how you do it but the end result is so elegant and uh that is what I love and appreciate more than anything it's Simplicity and elegance in writing thank you me too and and and of course getting the job done comedically yeah we got to do all those three things in the piece when that is executed uh I mean I just feel full of uh music it's I just love it and I you know we're so lucky that you know I do think sometimes I watch great pictures great athletes and I think oh this guy's only going to get 12 years of this to be able to play this music and it's a it's a huge career for a pitcher right but for us if they told us you can only do this 12 years it's ridiculous musicians does it bother you you're so you're very very sophisticated musically and um just you had all those Paul Simon lyrics in your head was amazing but um what what's your theory and I know you have one on why these great great great songwriters are not able to find that thing in their later years too many drugs come on no but too many drugs but partly but also I just think it's innate music is something that flowers in youth I mean you think music is sexual of course if you're not horny you can't write a great song well oh that's ridiculous that's ridiculous yeah that's we not not all songs are about sex yes they are everyone oh stop it but what is your theory on older songwriters struggling to find that same magic I couldn't agree more first of all it's it's rare and I'm not going to name names no there are exceptions to that but they are rare um I thought the Eagles 2007 album was really good yeah was like could fit in and it's a double album if you made it into like just one kickass album it would be fit in there irvra pretty well anyway but there are people that we love desperately love desperately that write stuff now that is and have for 25 years not been good right because part of it I think is um you get too ahead of the parade like you always want to be like a little ahead of the audience right otherwise you're over but not so far ahead head they're like what right and I think sometimes you're so good that like oh I've done that and this would be different it's like yeah but I just want to you know you got to hit that sweet spot where it's where it's striking me as something a little different but not so alien that me just the young man in the 22nd row can't appreciate it because I'm not a musician I could just appreciate what you do mhm so it's kind I guess the equivalent of being like a a Comics comic mhm who you know makes the other Comics laugh right and you know I always felt like that was what you like like I always felt you you would catch like you always had kind of a attitude about catch like this is a shiny object it because it was the hot club right yes you didn't you weren't the man at the hot club you were at the comics the hot the hot club was bser and it was the hot club cuz like that's where the stars went and the celebrities went and the mafia was there and it was just a you know singers and Bell it was and I think you were just like okay enjoy your shiny object because I'm going to just do what I do which isn't quite as flamboyant as some of this other stuff going on and I will be the bigger star because I'm going to be on television which is a cool medium perfectly suited to me I never I bet I read that on you and well you can read it but I never thought thought it or felt that but it turned out to be true yeah well that you're you have a amazing eye for those kinds of things I just in those days bill I wasn't but I just felt like you that the the fact that it was Ill suited to your exact Persona it was to your credit because again that wasn't what was going to make you a star jumping around on the piano and all that same with the comedy star out here a lot of stuff that looks great in a small Club but there are those you had your eye on the surprise I did I did and when I would see those sometimes they would come to the comic strip and struggle and I would realize oh they're out of context and it's not working and that's not what this game is about this game is about put me in any context and I'll make it work right that's the bigger game to play yes you and I had an argument many times about like is there such a thing as a bad Crowd Oh yeah and I of course took the position yes when they don't like me they're bad yeah and you took the position again more mature goof is and Gallant always Gallant believes and you're right there's no right it's just well it's just a sport you're playing it's a better attitude to have that you know you were like but you're also right you of course yes but you once said uh of course they're in a bad mood why do you think they're at a comedy club you're the doctor they don't come to the doctor when they when they feel well right so that's funny it's another piece of advice I remembered and put into practice a mere 17 years later no I got around everything it just some people just takes a long time yeah you know what about I mean everybody's H who cares see this is about why you're not afraid of dying everything comes into your head is who cares it's not there but you I me don't you feel that changing I mean I'm 70 and I really feel things changing in my perspective names I have I who is the singer uh all these things even politics even social movements uh I'm reading a lot of Marcus aurelus have you ever read uh that in college absolutely you should pick it up again it's really great meditations what's it called meditations right uh he was the Roman emperor in 180 150 ad and he's a fantastic guy to get you to zoom out and go all these things you're worried about all these things that you see happening they've all happened before they're all going to happen again every everything that you're worried about is much smaller than it is that you make it in your head that's his basic message and he being told that by the emperor of Rome in 150 ad right is a very nice daily I read it almost every day I'll read a page or two and I just I love to imagine him in his bedroom there the the the the leader of uh the entire world an emperor a Roman Emperor and say Yes are you're going to talk to a lot of annoying people today that's what every day is like why are you surprised people are annoying I like to Imagine The Peasants of 150 ad hey did you hear the emperor has a new um track treaties out great I can't wait to can't wait to pick it up what's uh who's like the Sam Harris of his day he had had the morning meditation and yeah um by the way if people want to have an image of who Marcus Aurelius is think of the movie Gladiator yeah and he was played by Peter o I thought it was wae Phoenix but he played he played the sun Oh Marcus grew up son kills his father he kills Marcus Aurelius in the beginning but not in real life though I think he did no no no no no he died of natural causes in his 50s you know a lot about Marcus aelius I'm kind of into him these days that's amazing yeah I didn't think I'd ever hear that from you why well just because you didn't seem like a history buff and then I'm not really but I do I love philosophy and I love his philosophy and I just find it helpful I like I like shrinking things down yes you do yes you do and you do it better than anybody than I mean I always said that about you like the the act that like every single person can love and the most intelligent person in the room is also not insulted by it right right and that's a it's I feel like Excellence is always getting to that golden mean yes of like the two things that are in opposition but somehow you bring them together right you know it's a it's well that's what I'm I think you might find that in in unfrosted the the poptart movie it's a silly idea for a movie but and the jokes are silly but as we know there are no silly jokes they're they're either good or they're not and you'll find there's a level of sophistication in the silliness that is my ultimate when I first saw Monty Python when I was a kid on PBS in the early 70s I lost my mind the sophist phisticated silliness that they were doing absolutely lit me up like this is everything that I want everything that I love I think get smart had that I think Peter sers had that um he's acting dumb but there is such a sophistication to it it's because as we know as comedians acting dumb is really not you know Laurel and Hardy are not stupid no no I wasn't a stoes guy but Laur and Hardy is elegant and sophisticated you were not a studious guy no no I didn't like Mo he he he I don't think he's funny cly was carrying the whole damn show but we were five no not I wasn't I watched comedians when I was five years old going this guy's got did you walk watch did you watch officer Joe Bolton of course okay didn't he introduce the three stes wasn't that yeah yeah he had the stes I watched it and Superman also no they didn't have Superman they they had the those movie shorts Superman just stood by itself we yeah that was a real series yeah oh I remember I mean yeah and still pretty good by the way I've been watching that lately I to me uh um uh George Reeves is the greatest Superman of all time his sophistication and those double breasted suits it's another reason I wanted to do un frosted I wanted to look like George Reeves did you like that Superman show when they would close the door this would shake what I live for it you know this really when I was a kid yeah I remember in high school I wish I found I probably have that somewhere in my rat pack file but I we made a list of every episode that we could remember like there was probably a 100 episodes I remember all the episodes we've talked about it korium X yeah I mean I got to do a commercial with Jack Lars and no Neil in I think yes I remember it yes did the American Express thing I mean I know gigantic your bit was you know one of those one of your first ones the classes is a brilliant disguise it was like that is so you and then somebody else had a great bit about um it's a bird it's a plane who mistakes a bird with a who joke is that that's I don't know but I heard that that's a good one too yeah it's like a perfect example of that bit like it was laying there on the ground yeah anybody could have seen it yeah right I I have a Frankenstein bit I'm doing now about the sport jacket why is he wearing a sport [Applause] [Laughter] [Music] jacket that's that's great it's an AI bit it's a part of an AI bit about making fake brains is risky we can see that from Frankenstein oh that's funny that's a great joke yeah exactly and he goes well I thought maybe we'd go someplace nice afterwards no it's Romania in 1820 there's no place nice No One's Gonna say to you I'm sorry Mr Stein it's jackets only this evening that's hysterical that's funny I talk about monsters now with um you know the toxic masculinity that they're always talking about it's true men are toxic what are we talking about when you say I men have been ruined by the phone yeah and pornography you know and um it's rapy it's uh it's domineering it's not you know it's just and this is what young men see you know when when I was when we were kids it was if you had a Playboy right that was huge yeah now they see horrible things you know I imagine choking and spank oh God what what it's horrible I know I mean what these kids are are when you think about how innocent since our childhood was yes the the level of innocence is just like from a a different what yeah all absolutely and we can't fix it bill they broke they broke it why do you think I'm always trying to fix it I'm just there's a difference between being uh trying to remedy something and just being Amazed by it I talk like age fascinates me it's and people say oh don't worry about it I'm not worried about it I'm just fascinated by it I'm fascinated by different Generations I'm fascinated by how different I the differences that I could see in my lifetime right I know and I I said to my mother one time who passed about 10 years ago at the age of 99 and I remember asking her one time do you remember when cars suddenly became popular she said oh yeah yeah my mother when she was born there were there was no cars around when my mother was born women couldn't vote right 1919 women got the vote in 1920 right I say to my kids you're kids are going to say to you you mean they let people just get in cars and go as fast as they wanted yeah for the most part I mean there were laws but people did pretty much whatever they want my grand didn't they crash and die all the time yeah yeah well and and children died often you know they get kicked by a horse on the farm and you know that's why they had a lot of kids they expected a few of them to so better or worse the way we value life today or the way we we were more Cas so much more casual about it in years past I mean it's so easy to say oh you know back please we are so seduced by and I am as much as anyone by Creature Comforts and convenience no I don't with all the [ __ ] going on we live in the most amazing [ __ ] times I mean the the climate change is probably going to get us at some point but it hasn't yet we walked out here today we were't like evapor at by the Rays of the Sun or something I mean we had it was a beautiful day the grass is green the sky is blue I know it's really not there's lots of things going on behind the scenes that are horrible blah blah blah but we're still living in that time where we're basically you know yes Health certainly can rear its ugly head and there's lots of poisons everywhere and lots of terrible things and Trump could do this and democracy and blah blah blah nuclear war but for the moment you know when I'm s at dinner with people and they're like the world's ending look around you you [ __ ] you dumb ass we we're at this [ __ ] awesome Restaurant They're bringing you this food it's probably going to this dinner is going to cost $700 you're not even going to [ __ ] blink at paying the check shut the [ __ ] up about how terrible things is when they're goingon to I'm not going to lose my nervous system about Trump again if he ends the world he's going to end the world I'm not going to [ __ ] go nuts again if he wins another term I just can't I I I hope you you uh have that wherewithal well what are you going to do just getting I'm trying to stay right there yes trying to stay there you get anxious like a millennial no it's exactly that that that is I mean that that generation especially the Z generation [Applause] or what do you but your kid I mean your kids are great thank you I mean I I think with great parenting you can still make great kids sure um well you don't really make them you you you have a you have a hand in it you're like the manager yeah you're the manager you give them advice they take it they don't take it like the manager of a team they say a good manager like six to eight games a year that's right that's right you think that's all a parent can do I have no idea but wait you raised three kids it's mostly what you didn't do wrong really bad stuff but mostly the way we were raised you were kind of left to your own devices and you're in a fairly healthy environment and hopefully you make decent choices and the same is true today I remember that night you and Chris Rock were in my dressing room before the show and I asked them something you guys something about oh your kids do they play together or and you both went well the wives handle that and I I got okay that's I see yeah I have the most amazing wife I really I I got to a point with my wife now that I can't believe uh how great she is because I can't really say that but um you know I mean in the single world it was always it always run it always runs out of gas and I found a woman where it never runs out I'm always excited to see her we always have fun I love talking with her and it's fun it's fun but it's a it's again it's a little bit of luck or maybe it's Instinct I don't know but you're are you an empty nester now not yet I my my son is finishing High School um but you will be yeah I will be in a few months yeah and and is that a big change over that's what people say but I jus and I are we feel we're good but so it must be a it's got to be a big difference without the sound of children it is frolicking but Bill all these things what I feel like you're going back to like thinking that I I'm um how ruing the passage of time and I'm just remarking and I'm I'm fascinated by it I I yeah I I'm I'm fascinated and I enjoy that that's over and now we're doing this and right anything else in life okay well you just characterize what I think about maybe quitting standup okay I've enjoyed it but maybe you know that's cool that's very cool of you to uh let your mind be that free that's cool I I mean I think it's always great to stretch to put yourself out of your com Z CH just change the menu change we're doing this now yeah exactly right because you know at our age you know it's an agist country they're always going to try to move you out I mean it's the nature of What Not not an our thing nobody cares how old you are well that's another reason why I I I would add it to the hopper about me maybe getting out of it I do think there is a a generational element to stand up because humor is not something that translates Through the Ages that well and um like the the humor of today is a lot more about feelings nothing more than feelings and like people want to see someone of their own generation I get it of course but they also want to see people that can really do it I understand that some can and some can't and it's irrespective of age any or anything yes that's true too but you're coming but you're an you know thank you I'm going to be nicer when you give a compl I need to be nicer I didn't mean it like that okay I just meant I meant you you don't have to all you have to do is put your name in the paper and it'll sell out right maybe if I was there I would still do it you know that would that would be an element that would influence me probably not I think I'd still make this decision right right but um but yeah it makes it a lot easier you know I mean the audience that comes is certainly a great I mean look I love it's a love affair because yes anytime they're paying a hard money ticket to see you you know they love they want you to do what you do very specifically and I just want to do it for them right so well you know I'm getting sad bill that this show is almost over I was I and I I really was looking forward to this as much as you are oh because it's you and uh I also just just love the vibe of this show well and uh I have one more thing to show you from my from my thing this was my fathers how I met Hollywood's biggest stars by Bill Maher this is amazing what in the [Laughter] world what is this some gag gift somebody gave my father in 196 whatever that was great and it's all Chinese folks Show and Tell with Bill we were so innocent yeah well as a great man once said it's so nice when it happens good oh God bill you did it again Freddy deiva after my first Tonight Show put his arm around me as we walked off the set and he said it's so nice when it happens good if you don't know you're in Show Business at that moment yeah when somebody says something like that all right pal thank you thank you this was what I thought it would be I'm going to have this Frame and sent to you okay thank you yeah I'm an World's Fair obsessive I didn't know that

Channel: Club Random Podcast

Views: 731,857

Keywords: club random podcast, club random, podcast, bill maher, bill, maher, club random with bill maher, real time, real time with bill maher, Jerry Seinfeld, actor jerry seinfeld, comedian jerry seinfeld, jerry seinfeld interview, unfrosted, comedy, seinfeld, larry david, netflix, comedian, talk show, stand-up, jerry seinfeld unfrosted, acting, feature interview

Id: sKieIqZgL7M

Length: 80min 46sec (4846 seconds)

Published: Sun May 05 2024