We Need a Dress Code at the Airport - Sebastian Maniscalco

at a rough day when to the grocery star always a problem at the grocery store is it hard to pay always something going on in my line always in the back of my who's still paying and check you'll see it it will come out of a bag in slow motion then the whole line sees it because it's just not the checkbook things go with the checkbook right glass is always come on gotta find the check called always asking what do I write the check to johns market it's on the guy's apron it's on the bags there's a lot of hints here I got no patience for people I had four items in front of me I'm like four items how are we gonna screw this up they scan it then he pulled this one and a pack of cigarettes please now we got to go to the cage that's what we're doing we're doing errands right that's all we do went to Ross for less anybody been to this nightmare I walked into Ross I thought I walked into downtown Beirut I thought a bomb went off at this store everything's on the food how are they shopping over there what are they pulling stuff off the shelf this is not my size [Music] I went looking for jeans I heard they had cheap jeans over there right so I'm in a store shopping I found a pair in housewares stampd regular anybody looking at any regular clothes you're not getting a deal do we see irregular you got to lay them out you got to find out what the hell happened why are these a dollar because originally a hundred and seventy five dollars now slashed to a dollar and if you're like me you're looking at the pants you're like I can't find the mistake here I think they made the mistake I think I found a treasure till you get to the fitting room I went to go try them on I went to go get the zipper the button all this stuff wasn't even here I found that right here on the cab all the underwear it's all boxed the box has been ripped open so many times they got a duct tape um sure you don't even know what you're buying I took a gamble on some CK boxer briefs for 39 cents I brought him home I cut the Box open it's a set of forks I just got a problem impatient people airport's enough what is going on at the airport could we put a dress code at the airport it looks like a slumber party do people care what they look like anyone they just come out now as is we must roll out of bed and then there at united [Applause] we're not in finis I'm not into casual I like the 56 these people just stop right I'm not into this whole casual you meet these people I'm comfortable I care what people think of me long as I'm comfortable yeah I'm uncomfortable the aircon shower I'm not into this it's got to stop when you go to the airport when you see the world the world sees you and now what we do we sit down in the plane and now we look to see what catastrophe that's gonna be sitting next to us for five hours and it's never this it's never as beautiful ladies I could tell my guy I could sense it right like he gets on the plane we make eye contact on autism somebody's got everything everybody's got their Starbucks I had to stop at the Starbucks before I got on I got behind a couple that can't keep their hands off each other never get vanna's come it's disgusting she's holding on to him from behind but he's gonna take off this Starbucks he ain't going anywhere she's dating some softy guy had flip-flops on what's his flip you seen somebody's guys feet men's feet are disgust he had the finger foot what is it who's it toes so long he's got knuckles them like he could pick up an orange and and throw it you have a hand on your foot take care of your feet just because you're in the shower and they're getting wet then we're looking right this concrete would this ash look here I maybe you want to take a pumice stone that well you got a cinder block and your foot socket and he turn to his ladies like honey do you want to share a lemon love what the hell did you just say did lemon loaf just come out of your mouth how do you feel like a man in order lemon law I would never get that even if I wanted one I'd point to it get one of these you you

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 8,691,993

Keywords: Sebastian Maniscalco, Comedy Central Presents, Sebastian Maniscalco comedian, Sebastian Maniscalco stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, comedians, grocery store, check, Ross, clothing, store, sale, airport, dress code, casual, feet, funny, lemon loaf, funny video, comedy videos, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, best comedy, best stand up

Id: e8QZwnJZTgQ

Length: 9min 45sec (585 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 28 2019