Sebastian Maniscalco Live at the Gotham Comedy Club in NYC

Sebastian Maniscalco nice nice thank you thank you welcome to access TV presents Gotham Comedy live all right this is live this is in the moments good that it's in New York City right yeah nice I like it out here a lot of Italians out here I'm Italian I grew up with Italian father Sicilian immigrant right been working since I've been eight years old it's watching cartoons on a Saturday morning my father walked in the living room was like hey go start a business father is on my ass constantly right he never bought us anything growing up I come from a middle class family but my father told me and my sister who had what we wanted in the neighborhood right you're like Dad can we get a dog dog two houses down you feel like petting something you walk two houses down and hope to God the dogs outside we just did things a lot different than most American families all right we had a garden in the back dad had a beautiful garden tomatoes and cucumber string beans you can go shopping in my backyard huh [Music] but we had a problem there was a raccoon something was coming and eating my father's tomatoes now most American families they handle that you know they're like well just call Animal Service they'll set up a trap and then they'll release the animal back into the wild my father's like listen we're going to murder this mother we're gonna put antifreeze on baloney why it eats it from the inside out that's why he's gonna pay but I've noticed a lot of things have changed since I grew up right dating has changed online dating if you're doing it God bless you all right if it's working for you good for you I can't do this I'm sorry I can't hide behind a computer in my underwear and oh I really like your activity I gotta go out we used to dance right see a group of girls like this at a nightclub right Friday night was dance night you start getting ready for Friday on Monday start practicing at your house I come downstairs my mother be making a little sauce ma what do you think you like my dance moves Ma she'll be like oh you dance is so good my son like a profession you like a profession Thursday you get your car ready right every guy in here used to love washing their car I still do love washing my car inside every nook and cranny not one gravel not one crumb in the car right you could tell a lot about a person just the way to keep the car you ever get in somebody's car and you're like oh [Laughter] all right Burger King rappers all over the floor and she like ants how much food is in the car the ants decided this would be a nice place to live one sock how does that even happen have you ever been driving your car and out of nowhere we're like foreign was boiling but Friday night was dance night you walked into the club with confidence all right start flirting from across the room and tell your buddy Johnny I think this one's into this huh and real cool you'd walk up eyes half shut Steven Seagal Under Siege right right fake gum you ever start chewing gum it's not even in your mouth right and you'd ask the girl to dance real like sweetheart how you doing listen you want to dance with this tonight you want to think you want a sample you want to sample at it take her out to the dance floor perfect gentleman you wouldn't touch her right you just do a couple side to sides throwing a floor tap [Applause] ask around on a proper date right we first start dating you're on your best behavior you don't share your secrets everybody in here has a secret look at how weird it just got in here you're like oh my God does he know my secret I've been date my girl for four years now in the beginning I had a secret my secret was I had a problem with dairy something you don't share on the first date [Applause] you can't lean over and go listen I can't have any dessert or I'm gonna the bed tonight I'm shot you just eat it and you deal with the consequences later on so what we would do I would eat the dessert we would go back to her house we'd start watching a movie right halfway through the movie The Dairy so I would keep going to the bathroom I kept putting the water on she thought I had OCD she thought I was constantly washing my hands little did she know I was farting into her towels thank you just anything to muffle the sound just oh God I hope she doesn't wash her face with that a floor mat a little fudge oh God one's just gonna stop but the goal is to have some kids I guess I don't know but the kids today are even different right just the way the parents keep bragging about their kids well we we have all fantastic kids no no dumb kids my family they were they were they they knew they knew I wasn't going to be a doctor at times we don't really go into the medical field when's the last time you went to the surgeon surgeon came out this is your doctor Dr Rocky aqualani what no you got a Schwartz specter all right lipowitz Cohen somebody new that studied I'll call aqualani for a pizza he ain't touching the heart you guys have been fantastic you ready for some show

Channel: AXS TV

Views: 599,685

Keywords: Music, AXS TV, Classic Rock, Rock Music, Concert

Id: sAJ5I0NiWgU

Length: 9min 26sec (566 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 13 2023