Sebastian Maniscalco - Uber & Air Bnb

[Music] so nice thank you thank you sit down sit down before you leave your house tonight you got to figure out how we gonna get to the venue do we drive do we take uber what is this uber uber X what is it that's like hitchhiking wait you're fall [Applause] God knows what's gonna pull up tonight to pick you up some guy in a Ford Festiva groceries in the back baby seats sleeping back are you between errands what's going on back here uber black that's supposed to be a better option maybe a guy in a sedan you ever get mad guy Scott he can't stop talking about his candy as soon as you get in four five six shut up crest white strip white white strip you can't tell me these uber experiences are normal they're weird strange the rate new you're rating them everybody's on some fake behavior you feel like you got to talk to them when you get in yeah haha how long how long have you been doing over and they never just do over they always got some weird side businesses ask them so how long at NOC among my friends I do over ten hours a week got the real business I got discotheque in Istanbul why do you know where you're going there's another website air B&B what is this you're gonna rent out a room in your house to a stranger is it worth the $86 at night right have some psychotic family show up at your forest with you I couldn't do this I could have strangers live with me while I'm there I couldn't do it if I did it after they left I'd have to burn the room I don't know what's falling out of people's ears into the Tempurpedic burn the mattress I don't do this I don't stay with people I have some friends here in Montreal oh just stay with us we have plenty of ice they await you you ever stay with people it's weird they put you in a weird room single bed Star Wars sheets nothing works in the house they gotta come in and tell you don't flush the toilet in the hallway okay if you do we're gonna have to evacuate the hot what when you take a shower cold is hot hottest cold we've been trying to fix that for years when you're done showering if you could please squeegee the squeegee why would I do this I'm gonna get clean now naked I gotta look for some weird wand that's been living in your shower and wipe shower pellets off while my balls hit the tile why would I so I work here I don't stay with no body even the hotels I don't trust the hotels soon as I check into a hotel a do not disturb hangs off the hook for the amount of time I'm there do you think I'm dumb you think I'm dumb I'm gonna have the maid come in and steal everything that I got wash out my glasses with some dirty panties forget it [Applause] nobody's getting into my room nobody that coffee machine that lives in the bathroom I throw that out who the hell is making coffee next to the toilet [Applause] I don't know how my wife puts up with me my wife is completely opposite than me come from two different families my wife loves people loves people loves to go out at the dinner with another couple I can't take it I can't even fake it I gotta act like I like the guy yeah the mortgage business and my wife comes home with activities for us to do she met a couple she's like you gotta meet this couple they invited us to their house for a dinner party now in my head I'm like that sounds terrible but I'm a married man you had to act like you like this stuff sometimes all strangers everybody's gonna be a stranger so we get in the car and she's promoting a couple it's her couple she's like you're gonna love these two she's an interior designer he's just stay at home dad uh-huh I didn't grow up with the stay-at-home dad culture I come from an immigrant Italian family yeah padian's don't do this you rarely hear a woman go no anthony's at home with the kids hasn't worked in years he just loves watching Peppa Pig and going to the zoo with the kids

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 1,010,727

Keywords: Just for laughs, jfl, just for laugh, just for laughs youtube, youtube just for laughs, just laughs, just laugh, juste pour rire, funny comedy, comedian, stand up, standup, stand up comedians, funny, laugh, comedy, joke, humor, uber, airbnb, family, sebastian maniscalco, sebastian maniscalco comedy, sebastian maniscalco comedian, sebastian maniscalco youtube, sebastian maniscalco stand up, Sebastian Maniscalco just for laughs, Sebastian Maniscalco jfl, Sebastian Maniscalco Uber & Air Bnb

Id: ExAdnvCwMPY

Length: 8min 1sec (481 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 05 2018