Volcano of Violence [Full Episode] | Escape From the Bloodkeep Episode 2

- My most trusted advisers. - Fucking shit, get that man out of my life. - It's a tragedy that so many people have tried to wipe these things from the Earth. - Your laughter important to our love. - Sharing is caring. You all know this! - I'm following my heart. But at the same time, you know, stop asking about him! - Revenge is a dish best served bad. - When my crown is returned, all the people's over-law will turn to me and say, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! - Oh, shit. - Oh. - There's no way that you're still here, and there's not hope of something. - Time is of the essence. Scary mountain. There's an artifact there. - And Ka-sa-ra the Beige appears flanked by Tel-meer the Calm and a host of elves. Roll initiative. (laughs) (dramatic music) Welcome, one and all, back to another exciting episode of Escape From the Bloodkeep. My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan. These are our vile villains. Say hello, vile villains. - Hi! - Hello, vile villains! - Wonderful. Last we left our vile villains, they were down in the forge in Kan-dolf, the scary volcano. This is the forge where Za-ool lies. The Lord of Shadow's first forge with circles of eternal chains and his one crown. You have all surrounded the two halflings down by the magic anvil. This anvil is covered with glowing green runes in the Midnight Tongue, a gift from Gog-moth to his servant, Zal-nage, all those long years ago. The anvil looks really fucking heavy. It's a big ass anvil. There's two little halflings next to it, and Ka-sa-ra the Beige, and I-roo's spirit, and Tel-meer the Calm, the father of Beth-nick Mur-der-deth and the number of high Elven warriors have just appeared in a blinding flash of light. Now, what I have to give you guys before we go any farther is your minis, which I will hand out right now! (screaming) - I do like that, like, these elves, or these halflings, they could throw the thing in right there. But they made their way all the way down to the end to the anvils. - Idiots! - Here we go. Maggie, this is yours. (screams) - [Rekha] Cool. Big fucking hammer. - Leiland, this is you. (laughs) - Slick! A floating ghastly above the ground. - Efink. This is Sokhbarr right here. And this is, ooh, boy, careful with this one. This is Lilith. - Oh my God! She's beautiful! - She's so cool! - Yeah! - That's amazing. - Spider's happening. - Oh my gosh! - And, finally, Ify, here's Markus St. Vincent. The Unseen Blade. And J'er'em'ih. - J'er'em'ih! - And before we jump into initiative order, you guys should place your minis down on the floor. - We're on this platform? - You're on that platform down there. You can be anywhere on that platform you wanna be, but you're definitely down on that platform. - Oh, J'er'em'ih has a little shield that has a big 'j' on it. - Yeah! - Awww! - Awww! - 'J' for J'er'em'ih. - I like-- - Wait, where? - He's got a big old, like, collar, little bandanna that says 'j'. - Little bandanna! It's a bandanna! - [Brennan] Yes, that's correct. - Mine is a custom hero for gem-in-nee. I want to shout that out. Also, I'd like to say that I deeply am uncomfortable with spiders. I do not like spiders. (laughs) I do not like the way they move, I do not like the way they look. - Well, now you do. - So nobody send me pictures or gifs or videos of spiders. - I can think of no better way to assure that that will happen. (laughs) - Yeah, I, absolutely this will happen. - Oh God. - J'er'im'ih and I are gonna go over here. - I'm massive. - Great. - Oh my God, Erika's is so big. - I'm very big. - Jesus Christ. - Really glad to be a halfling right about now. (laughs) - Oh my Lord. - So funny. - Look at me! - An absolute unit. - Oh Lord, I'm coming. - Incredible. So for everyone else here, because we're not looking at the actual space, I will describe what exists beyond the borders of this as well. So this is the actual pathway you've come from. Through this passageway here is the, like, path that leads back to the Bloodkeep, right? These are just teleported in here, right? The caldera of the volcano is much larger than this. This is almost, if you think of the caldera-- - Okay, I'm gonna be a dumb dummy. What is a caldera? - The hole. The hole where the lava come out. - Hole. - Yeah. - Lava hole! - The lava hole. - Okay. - The place where, in science, where you would pour the vinegar and the baking soda. That is, although some kids actually had, like, a vent in the side to be extra fancy. Did you guys ever see? Nevermind. - Is this-- - Did they make a bong? - Is this related to the word cauldron? - Did they make a bong? - Is this related to the word cauldron? - It is etymologically related to the word cauldron, yeah. (laughs) - All the pieces are coming together. - Finally, I'm starting to see what we're-- - Isn't language fascinating? - Fascinating! So what I wanna point out is that this is solid wall here. This bridge kind of comes down. The wall hugs more closely over here. This opens up into a vast kind of sea of lava, and this is also kind of a little bay from the bigger, more massive open sea of lava in this massive mountain, right? So there is ceiling a couple hundred feet up above you guys here 'cause this is, like, a little side cavern. Almost, again, like a little bay off of a bigger sea of lava. So wall over here, ceiling up top here. Out in the open lava area, smoke and fire, things spew out. But out through there as well is actually, like, an open, you know, the channel that goes up to open sky up above it, right? Just to give you an idea of, like, layout and everything like that. In terms of distance, you guys probably traveled for about 45 minutes underground to get here. So it's not like you're immediately in rooms in the Bloodkeep through this passageway here. That being said, are there any of these people would have done either, like, investigation, nature, perception, anything like that, in this space now that you're actually looking at it in the moment before we get started? - I'd like to see if there's any, like, trap-like things that I can use against our enemies. - Hell yeah. Go ahead and make a perception check. - All right. That is going to be 12. - 12. You don't see any big, like, ooh, what's the one fucking rope I can cut to chandelier drop on these guys, right? Swashbuckler style. But what you do see is a lot of moving parts here. I will describe that in terms of, like, architecture and stuff. The walkways obviously look rickety. There's a lot of chains everywhere that are varying degrees of loosely tied down and whatnot, so there's a lot of room for you to get up to kind of pirate-y shenanigans in this space. - Go ahead. - Mm-mm. - I am, I guess, this is very, I'm gonna start vague and try to, I guess, focus down. I'm very curious about this forge and the anvil and their, there seems to be, you know, this, you know crown related forge thing but just sort of, like, are there, I guess first question, like, are there things here to forge another crown? - Make an Arcana check. - All right. - That's my answer to that. - That is a 16 plus one is 17. - Everything here is replaceable with stuff in the Bloodkeep but the anvil, and this is the anvil that was seen-- - In my vision? - In the vision. - Okay. - Yeah, absolutely. - So what I wanted to do is maybe take that a little bit further. It is a 10-minute thing, but I think having seen it, I might've done it if I time legend lore the actual anvil itself. - Cool. Legend lore, you would not have had time for because you guys basically rushed down here and muscled up those halflings right out of the gate. - Yeah. - Cool. - The sides of the walls are, and you said there is a ceiling. But it's a couple hundred feet up, so every, all the walls are very far away and mostly inaccessible. - Mostly inaccessible. So your spider climb thing is obviously gonna be way more useful over here if you can get to that wall. Unfortunately, there's too much space with lava for-- - And, sorry, you keep saying the word wall. What does that mean? (laughs) - Wall is like a sideways floor. - So I'm thinking, like, a sideways ceiling. - No, that's, oh wait, that is a wall! Yes! I hadn't thought about that! Wow! Yeah, that's true! Cool. - And we came from-- - You came from this path, but your exit's now barred basically. - Okay. - Wait, you said this path? The path we came in is barred? Oh, you mean just by all the people there? But it's physically-- - Physically still open. - If we muscled our way through, we could still get through. - Yes, correct. - Got it. - I probably would have had webs, like, trailing behind me and everything to follow along to whatever the path we went through. - Cool. I can dig it. I'm going to, now we go back to this present moment here. Enemies appear. You see that the two halflings, Drova Longfoot and her companion, Galfast Hamhead, look up at-- - Wait, wait, wait! (laughs) - Hamhead? - Galfast Hamhead. You know. - Galfast Hamhead. Her loyal gardener and companion. You see that Galfast looks up and says, right, oh, it's Ka-sa-ra the Beige! Oh, Lords, aren't we lucky to have a wizard show up? And you see Drova says, yes, Galfast. I'm so weak. These people are so scary. I'm sad. And you see Ka-sa-ra calls out and says, forces of darkness, know this. The door of doom is laid low. The forces of light now walk freely in the Northern realms of Gro-ga. We make our way to the Bloodkeep. We have come here to save our friends. Give them safe passage from this place. Leave and never return, or you will surely die here. You see Tel-meer goes, the penance for the crimes that have been committed against our people will be paid in its own time, daughter. - Yes, but how do you feel about it, Father? You never express any emotion about anything! - Yes, that's very good. Talk about your feelings. - I am filled with nothing more than a calm, ever flowing feeling of doing what I must. - How is this the good guy? (laughs) - Thank you. - Wonderful. You see that Ka-sa-ra says, very well. If you will not leave, then we will make right the wrongs that have dwelled here. And we are going to start at the top of the initiative as these high elves rush you guys. - Where is Dad? Where is he? - He's right behind, I'm sorry, what is her name? It's something the Beige. - Ka-sa-ra. - Beige. - Beige lady. - Beige lady. Beige mommy. - Beige mommy. - [Erika] My beige mommy. - [Amy] Why does she get wings? - That's a great question. - Immediately jealous. - Oh, watch your step, idiot. (laughs) - These guys are ready to plunge in. Should I house rule that if they fall in they actually, ahhh! (laughing) - Right after you asked that! - Very-- - Well, gang, looks like we cleaned up another. - Only the town survives. - Oh, well, all right. - I don't know. It was quite easy for us to get down here. - More of the elves go like, let's take this path! It's much more secure! Incredible. These guys rush down this way. I'm actually going to make the call that most of these guys actually are going to come. - Nice! - For tactical reasons. Purely tactical reasons. - Yes, exactly. - Is it a thing if your character does fall off like that that they do-- - No. We're not going to do that. There will have to be an in game justification for that. Although, if you guys are doing crazy acrobatic stuff on these rickety ass things, there may be some rules that happen. - Okay, got it. - Cool. So Lilith, it's gonna be your turn. - Well, I think I'll, I guess, scutter up towards there. - Cool. So you're heading towards the bridge? - Yes. - Gotcha. So five, 10, see how many. - 50. - Your movement is 50? - Yes. - Cool. Let's just see here. So from there, you can get, yeah, you can get all the way right here. - So I think that I'd like to use, I'm going to set up a grasping web, which is 30 feet away. Probably on the side of one of those. - Cool. Let's see if you're 60 feet from one of these guys here. Unfortunately, they are not within range. You can actually, but you could-- - But I can set it up for later. - You could ready an action to cast that spell. - Is this, oh, it's concentration! - I believe it's concentration. - Oh, so you were making a-- - It stays there. - You're making a trap. Gotcha. Cool. Great, great, great. Awesome. You conjure a vine. It appears there. - So, basically, what happens is I turn around. And I shoot sticky web out of my bottom, and it'll stick to the side. And then that web somehow becomes sentient and starts flailing around. (laughs) - Great. So you blast a bunch of web out of your butt. Whipping thing of web on it. Awesome. - And, as a bonus action, I would also like to cast the Spirit's Totem. The Blood Spirit so we all get, anybody within my aura, that I choose has a plus 19 HP and advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws. - How far is your aura? - That is 30 feet. - And does that aura stay in one place or follow you? - I can move it to around 60 feet wherever I want. - So, yes, everyone within that aura can use those temporary hit points. 19 temporary HP. - Are we all in 30 feet? - Well, I'll say you can create that whip before you move, move, and then yeah. - Nice. Thanks. - So it's 19 hit points and then-- - 19 hit points. - And then advantage on strength checks? - Yes. - Cool. - Awesome. Great, great, great. So you create the vine. - So, as a bonus action, since that's a bonus action, do I get, also, can I ready an action? - Because this thing doesn't act on its own, it takes bonus actions for you, I would recommend readying an action to cast this-- - So I can. - Yeah, so ready, yes. You can ready. So instead of casting it now, if you ready it for when someone comes into range, you'll get that free attack when you do it. - I shall ready it then. - Hell yeah. Awesome. That is Lilith. That's gonna be Galfast and Drova. You guys see that Galfast looks over to Drova and says, Miss Drova, I may not be able to carry the crown anymore on account of we threw it in the lava. But I can carry you and lifts her up and begins to rush. - [Amy] Oh dear. (cheering) - That's all it took. That's all it took. - So easy! - So easy. (overlapping chatter) You guys see that Galfast looks incredibly jacked. She, like, lifts up, it's like, you know, you've been chasing these halflings. You always, when you were chasing them down, were always like, three of these halflings seem like sort of petty, bourgeoisie, like, country aristocrats. And then one of them seems like a blue collar, no-nonsense, actually has a job, halfling. (laughs) And that's Galfast. She's just literally holding Drova like. Climbs just using her feet. - Wow. - Giant, hairy feet up there. And that's going to be Leiland. - Good for them. - Woman after my heart. - All right. Well, as they pass by, I just kind of look down towards Longfoot and say, hello again. And with my mind, kind of spike the pain in their shoulder from the remnants of my blade that still rests inside. (screams) - I'm very weak! (laughs) - And as they begin to climb the ladder-- - She's the hero? It's not Hamhead? (laughs) Hamhead-- - It seems debatable to me. - This whole army's just fucking mindfuck. - I drift behind them up the side. Kind of this cold shadow that looms and pass just to the front of them. (laughing) Kind of standing in front, right where they are. - Like a giant. - You destroyed the crown of my master. Watch as yours fall with her. And, like, barely glancing, I'm gonna go ahead and use Circle of Death. So 150 foot range. A 60 foot radius sphere from a point within that range. I'm gonna go ahead and put it right about there. (laughing) - Jesus Christ! Oh man, so that's 60-- (laughing) - 60 foot radius. - Oh, 60 foot radius! - So from there-- - So 120 foot diameter. - Yeah. - Oh, that's truly no sweat at all. You hit. God, what a spell! All right. (laughing) How about it? Oh my God. - You think you can do that every turn? - No, this is the one time I can do it. So, as I just raise my hand up and release my grasp staring right into the two halflings' faces, the air can slowly turn to this sickly green as you watch the life force draw out of everything in the vicinity. 36 points necrotic damage unless they pick constitution saving throw for half. - 36 is what you said. 36. - Correct. - Cool. Jesus Christ. - You're gonna have to do a lot of rolling. - I'm gonna do a lot of rolling right now. No, no, no! That's-- - Do you roll for every? - And the DC on that. - 18. - Is 18. Good God. - Yes. - Wowser. - Oh my God. - What was the spell? - Incredible. - It's the Avada Kedavra. - Yeah, exactly. And a constitution saving throw? - Yes. - Gotcha. - I'm a warlock. - I suppose you may do well this time, Leiland. - You're all watching now, aren't you? - Yeah, if it, we'll see if it works. - True. - A circle just appeared out of a sphere, actually. Did you do that? - No, I don't think I did it. - It wasn't you? Oh, it must've been Markus then. - Well done. - Yes, Markus, well done, well done. - Thank you so much. (laughing) - And how much damage was that again, Matt? - That was 36, I think. - Jesus Christ. We'd like this battle to, I don't know, be somewhat interesting. Immediately, boom! Erika's like, I'm having a great time. Hell yeah. Cool. So you see, extending from your, well, actually I'm gonna roll for Ka-sa-ra and Tel-meer as well because they also gotta deal with this shit. Cool. That's going to be Ka-sa-ra and Tel-meer. You, yeah, as Leiland raises that hand, all of the life is just sucked out of these people. You see that these elves that have lived for centuries wither, and their lips crack and turn bone white. You know, about an even half of them look as though a feather would knock them over. And even the other half look gravely, mortally injured. Ka-sa-ra and Tel-meer stand, but even they feel the sting of this necrotic energy. And you see a look shine over the elves' eyes as all of them suddenly realize they will never see the White Shores, and-- - You can do all that, but you couldn't catch them halflings. (laughing) - These guys? These are the guys? - Yes. You said that they were terrifying, flames from their eyes. - Cool. - You couldn't catch Hamhead? (laughs) - Very strong forearms. - It's all the ham. - I gotta eat more ham. - Awesome. - That's the end of my turn. - That's the end of your turn, great. You see that Ka-sa-ra skids back from this necrotic blast that truly fills the entire, like, bay of the forge. She says, evil is not the only force at work in this world. Boom! And her staff thunders down onto the promontory. I'm gonna need all of you guys and J'er'em'ih to make a wisdom saving throw. (overlapping chatter) (laughing) - D20. - D20, okay. - Oh, I have a wonderful wisdom. - 12. - No! (laughing) - And then you add this. - Oh no! - Awww! - I have a plus 10, but I rolled a natural one. - No! (overlapping chatter) - With perfect comedic timing. (laughing) - Let's see. I rolled a 14, but I'm trying to see, I feel like I vaguely remember having advantage on wisdom saves for something. Or advantage on saves versus greater celestials. - You do, and Ka-sa-ra is a greater celestial. You have an advantage-- - Wow. - I will take, I'll just-- - Good memory. - I'll keep the 18 then. That'll be 18 plus three for that so 21, and, does J'er'em'ih also have something? - J'er'em'ih has to make a wisdom save as well. - Does he also have that (mumble) thing? - Does he also have what? - Does he also benefit from my advantage there? - I don't believe so. - Great, okay. So let's see, I'll roll for him. He does have advantage on saves while he's in line of sight though. - Oh, there you go. - So I'll just take that. Nat 20. (laughing) - You see that Ka-sa-ra hits the head of her staff, glows with pure white light. Let's go around the table. What'd you get? - 14. - 14. - 20. - 11, but natural one. - Natural one, gotcha. - 21 and 20. - 20. - 17. - 18. - 18. Okay, so that's going to be, and you got 14, right? So, bizarrely, and you got an 18, right? You said? - Yeah. - Cool. So, weirdly, a weird split here, Efink, Maggie, and Lilith, you look at Ka-sa-ra. Her flowing beige robes glistening, radiant skin, her wings spread out. Even here in the depths of the scary volcano, she is radiant. And you are all under the effects of a frightened condition. You may play that however you like, but you may not approach her. And you get disadvantage on attack rolls. You see her, like, just, hold here, shadows! And be cleansed from the world! - I love her wings. - You know, I, this is a woman I'm very intimidated by. I don't know if that's kosher to say. - The Elf Eye was always meant to be. (laughing) - Leiland, the fear does not grip your heart at all here next to this anvil when there's a chance of your lord and master being reconstituted. - I just respond with, oh, second staff. How nice. (laughs) - You're being very saucy, Leiland. Might be time for you to finally go to your resting place, don't you think? - I think not. (laughs) - So far, J'er'em'ih, you're just like, light, okay. See, J'er'em'ih just goes (squealing). - I agree, J'er'em'ih. - And Markus, you've seen scarier shit than this. - Should've pulled out a sack of money. That would've made me, would've got me all. - Big old IOU. Nothing scarier than that. - I know I'm frightened now. (laughs) - Cool. - A tax man. That'd get me going. - Awesome. That's going to be Maggie. - Okay. So I can't, what is approach her mean in this context? Does it mean going in this direction, generally? - Yes. Basically, approaching her. I won't be a hardass about it. We can judge it more and more fairly, but I would say, like, not closing a lot of distance with her. You can move lateral. You don't have to move away from her, but, yeah. - Okay, so where do I go? - Do we feel like we need to get the anvil out of here or move it in any way or protect it? Or do we think it's gonna be, like, protected? Or do we think it's, like, a get this thing out of here kind of jam? - I think we maybe leave it-- - I think I can leave it until later. - Circle it. That's what I think. - Unless you have a bright idea on how to relocate the anvil. - Oh. - I don't, I mean-- - You're just gonna-- - Maggie's-- - I'm very strong. - It's true, it's true. - I think we just need to get these jerks out of here. - Maybe we could lift it out of the caldera. - You learned something today. - Yes, it's my word of the day. And what a coincidence. We find ourselves in. - So is it that if I, 'cause I guess I just don't know where to move then. - Yeah. - That's helpful. - You can move up after those halflings up there if you wanted to go do something with them. I would also say that if you wanted to move, like, over this promontory. Just as long as you weren't getting closer to Ka-sa-ra. Like, if you wanted to go and get ready to go up that bridge, you could because you're also going to be able to try and resist this every turn, basically. - Okay. I guess. It looks like you kind of have these halflings or do you, right? We have to wonder, right? Just a little humor. (laughs) - Take your turn. - So I guess I'll-- - Because he never had them. - I know, I know, right? It's so funny. It's crazy. So maybe I will try to move towards here. - Awesome. - How far can I go? It says I have 40 feet. - So each little dot is five. - Five? - Five. So 40 is eight, basically. - You're attached to the chain. - [Amy] Tether ball, wee! - Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, puts you there. - And then you can, if you wanna use your action to dash, you can totally do that. - Yeah, maybe I'll dash. Let's see. How much can you dash? - [Brennan] Your speed again. So dash is using your action to just move again. - Cool. So I moved there, and I can only really hit people. And there's no one around me, so I guess that's it. - So that's great, yeah. You start to, like, charge up the ramp. At the end of your turn, you make another wisdom saving throw. - That's a seven plus two. Nine. - Nine. I will also say you're a berserker, right? - Yes. - If you were to use your, I think I have Mindless Rage. - Yeah, so-- - Oh yes. - If you Rage, you can just ignore the effects of Frighten. - Oh! Yes! Yes, this is what I would like to do. (laughs) - 'Cause the bonus actually go into, so you feel the fear of her. And then you reach down deep into the pit of your demonic heart. You're like, I can get mad enough to not give a shit about this lady! - Yeah. Right. - And you find that rage within you, and the condition is removed or suppressed, I should say. - And is that just for this turn? - That's just for this turn, so that's your turn. You're moving. Tel-meer is going to move as well. And he's going to-- - Before he moves, can that trigger, I wanna just say something to him. - Yeah, go for it! - Okay, before. So I see he's about to act, and I'm like, Father, would you assault your queen? And I pull out my divorce papers that I always have on me, and it has Percival's name on them. - You see he looks at you and says, this is an interesting hypothetical. I shall ponder it. Perhaps and then leave a beautiful ridge. Does that answer your question? - God, he's so calm! - It's annoying, it just is grating! - God, I want him to scream! - Are you planning on divorcing Percival? - It's, maybe. But-- - Yes! Yes, you are! You are! - Well, hold on! I am, at this point, what is important is I, if he is King, I am Queen. - Do you want that? - Well, are you proud of me is all. - Wow. That's desperately sad. All right, let's continue fighting. (laughs) - [Erika] He's just the worst! - Cool. Yes, Tel-meer rushes down here. And that is going to be, Efink, that is your turn. - Okay. So, you know, my dad sucks real bad. I'm going to, this isn't an attack. So let me know, I'm gonna use my, well, she's not even in a line. Yeah, I'm gonna use my Staff of Storms that I took from, like, her sister wizard. And I'm going to cast, I take my staff out. And I'm like, I adore you so much. You are terrifying to behold. Mimicry is the best form of flattery, and I strike my own staff. And thunder and lightning strike, and thunder clap. - Cool. - Also all happen at the same time. - Great. - I'm going to actually cast it at my dad 'cause fuck him, and so a line of lightning will go towards him. DC17, dexterity saving throw. It's 120 feet, which I think will, well, maybe not. - Let's see here. So that's 80 from you. - Okay. - So that's, so from you to there is 80. And then from here, if that's 40, it'll do it. It does not. You are-- - It doesn't? - But maybe if you moved to the edge of, but you can't 'cause of Ka-sa-ra. - 'Cause of Ka-sa-ra, so I'll just give it to her then. - Cool, great. - So she'll take some lightning. It'll traverse the lava. The center of the caldera, if you will. And I'll cast Thunder Clap, which is 600 out, 600 feet out from me. So that's kind of everybody. - Cool. - Unfortunately, even, I think my friends. - Yep. - But so everyone has to make a DC17 Constitution saving throw. - Or become stunned until the end of your next turn. - Only deafened. - Oh, right. Yes, gotcha. - Only deafened. - Fantastic. - Cool, cool. Awesome. Great, so I will need everybody here to roll a dc17 Constitution saving throw. - All right. - 20. - Natural 20, nice. It's 18 for me. - And then you add-- - Cool. - This? - 21 for Lilith. - 30. - Awesome. - Yours is 30. - 15 for Sokhbarr. - If I get is that only on my-- - And that's another nat 20 for J'er'em'ih. - Oh my gosh. - As you do the Thunder Clap, you see that J'er'em'ih looks over at you and goes, (squealing). And you see that his eyes shrivel, pop out, and two new eyes popped up the stalks back into sockets. And he goes, (panting). - You're welcome, J'er'em'ih. Anytime I can bring you back to the bog from whence you came. - Incredible. - That means he likes you. - Awww! (laughs) - If anyone- - He doesn't do that for everyone. - Incredible. - If anyone failed the Thunder Clap, you take four Thunder damage. If you were successful, you take two Thunder damage. And you are not deafened. So if you failed it, you are deafened. Sorry. - All right. - Awesome. And then go ahead and roll your lightning for Ka-sa-ra. - Okay, so. - What was the AC? - AD? 17. - 20. - Ouch. - And, sorry, failing that one means getting what? When we rolled. - Failing, you succeeded. - Yes. - So you take two damage. - Okay. And that's it. - So this is 27 Lightning damage to Ka-sa-ra if she fails. 27, so 13 if she succeeded. - Gotcha. She does not succeed, so she takes the full 37, right? - 27. - 27, gotcha, cool, cool, cool. - Hell yeah. So now that's gonna be. Awesome. At the end of your turn, I'm gonna need you to make a Dexterity saving throw at the end of your turn. - It's just the battle of the staffs. Okay. What, sorry, Dexterity? All right, 13. - Awesome. 13. I'm also going to need that from, let me see if 20. Yeah, I'm gonna need Sokhbarr, J'er'em'ih, and Markus to all make the same saving throw. - Sorry, what do we, I missed that. - Dexterity saving throw. - Okay. I will roll for Sokhbarr first. - Ooh, nat! - Nat 20! - Markus. - Nice! (overlapping chatter) - That is a 12 for Sokhbarr, and J'er'em'ih gets advantage on all saves. Let's see on this one. Great, so 12 plus 14, plus no Dex is 14 for that. - Cool. So for anyone that may, the dc was 18. For anyone that got an 18 or higher. - Shit! - You take 15 points of damage. Anyone that got 17 or lower takes 30 points of damage. As Ka-sa-ra goes, that's not a bad hit and wraps the entire center column in radiant white fire that deals radiant and fire damage to all of you. - So Markus does, like, an elegant flip, disappears, reappears, and goes, not a scratch because I have evasion. So I take no damage. Successful Dex roll. - Oh, nice! - Hell yeah. Extremely cool. Awesome. That's going to be, and then you may roll another Wisdom save for the fact it's the end of your turn. - Okay. (laughs) - Was it a nat one? - It's a two. - No, it's a two. - It's a two. - It's a two plus 10 is 12. - You're still a-scared. - And I'm going to play it still just super reverent. - Cool. Sokhbarr, it is your turn. And you and J'er'em'ih are not on the same Initiative, but there's nobody in between you and J'er'em'ih. - Okay. Does it matter if, which one of us goes first? - Sokhbarr, or technically, J'er'em'ih goes first. But you guys actually act in whatever order you like best. - All right, cool. This feels like it might be a waste of a turn, but I have to do it 'cause it just seems fun. So am I correct in remembering that they said that the Lava Mob was living in the scary volcano? - Yes, you were. - Can I do some kind of Nature check or something to see? Could I try to call or something? - Call the Lava Mob? Could you please roll me a Nature check with advantage? - See, I knew that. But I didn't wanna bait the RP, so I-- (laughs) - Oh my gosh! - All right. Here we go. Ooh! That is a 19 plus six so 25. - Bog Lord, Master of Beasts, what does Sokhbarr do in this moment? - Creatures of shadow, creatures of darkness, come to me. Come to my aide! - Oh no! - Come help! (screeching) - Rising from the magma is the single most beautiful creature Soghbarr. Even J'er'em'ih looks at him and goes, wow. - For the first time in however long you all have known, well, some of you for hundreds of years, she looks deeply impressed. - What a man! - That was very good! - That is ridiculous. - Holy cow. - What's his name? - You see that all the elves, Ka-sa-ra, Tel-meer all go, ahhh! Looking at this pure nightmare. What, you rolled a 19 and got, like, a what? - I rolled a 19, and I have a plus six. So I had a 25. - 25. You see this thing comes and looks at you and goes, and a long, boiling hot tentacle, which deals you seven points of fire damage, lovingly strokes your. - Sizzling flesh. Aww, I think he likes me. - Your face! Sokhbarr, your face! - What? - Your face! - Oh, it's fine. It'll heal. They'll do that. - What's its name? - Is this a name I'm giving it, or can I get some kind of-- - With a 25, you, like, snuffle at it. First of all, with a 25, this is a brood mother. - Holy. - You're a brood mother. - Lava Mogs, Lava Mogs only need to breed once every thousand years. And they can keep fertilized eggs in a boiling chamber of lava in their own body, and they don't have to gestate it for centuries or millennia. And this one is carrying, potentially, enough active children within it that it could-- - The species could come back from the brink of extinction! Guys, this is incredible! - A second pregnancy announcement today! (excited chatter) - I'm gonna cry! - Wonderful! - She goes, (screeches). So that was, I'm gonna say that summoning this thing is your action. - Sure. That seems fair. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That seems pretty fair, right? - So disgusting. - Awesome. So but you can have another bonus action after your movement, and then J'er'em'ih has his whole turn. - Cool. Great. Sorry. I need a moment to process this, I guess. - [Brennan] It's insane, thing that just happened here. - Is this, just so I kind of know for kind of planning my own thing, I have Animal Friendship, which will sort of, like, let me convince, or is this thing already kind of befriended to me with the loving tentacle. And-- - I think you've summoned it. - Cool. - If you wanted to give it, this is the kind of thing that will probably act according to instinct unless you take time and effort to Animal Friendship it and be commanding it. - Got it, cool. And the Animal Friendship is an action, so I couldn't do that this turn anyway, right? - I'll say that if you wanna make Animal Friendship the action that you took, you are welcome to do that. In other words, like, your summoning with the Nature check was also you casting the Animal Friendship spell. - I see, great. - Cool. - Okay. I'll take that, yeah. Let's see if we can give, get a little agency over this. So I will cast Animal Friendship as well, which lets me convince a beast that I mean it no harm. Let's see, if the beast's intelligence is a four or higher, spell fails. Otherwise, the beast must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by me. - Okay, so it's gonna make a Wisdom saving throw. - Yeah. - Or be charmed. - Rolled a two. This thing is, you hear it go, (groaning). And you can see it gargling lava in its throat. - Oh God. - It really likes you. - Tell us how to pronounce the name of this volcano. (laughs) - It does sound a lot like J'er'em'ih's. J'er'em'ih might be a female, honestly. (laughs) - Awesome. - Cool. So if it's that I might suggest to it, I guess, that it, I don't know. What do we, do we, what's the most good this thing can do? Is it in trying to take out the wizard? Is it in trying to, I guess we could move the anvil now, maybe if we wanted to. - Hold this. - Yeah. - Gulp. - Where do we think it's the most good? - Killing. - Yeah. How about maybe I'll tell it to, on its turn, whenever its turn is, it looks like its little arms can reach to maybe take out this bridge. Does that make sense? - Oh, fun! - Try to knock, like, lift it. Like, knock those elves, like, into the lava. - Oh, hell yeah. Which one does Sokhbarr point to? What section of bridge-- - Sure. - Does Sokhbarr point to? - I was saying if he sort of, like, flipped this guy. - Hell yeah. - Does that, and that won't block our path, right? I don't think. Cool. I'll sort of suggest what that, hey, it would be a really fun thing to do if you wanted to just, like, you know, a little bit of exercise is good for, you know, a pregnant Lava Mog. - Excuse me! (laughs) Okay, Sokhbarr, watch out. - Nothing, not here. It's just, you know, keeping him healthy and stuff. Endorphins. That's probably Sokhbarr's turn, right? Like, I probably used, I guess I could still move if I wanted to. Or what am I working with here? I'm totally lost. - You've taken your action. You have your movement, and then J'er'em'ih has his turn. - Great. I'm still kind of curious about this anvil. I feel like there's something here, but I'll just start, like, I'll just start running down the way here. - You could also mount J'er'em'ih, and ride him. - Hell yeah. - [Brennan] Use your Movement to mount up, and ride out, yeah. - [Mike] Forward, J'er'em'ih! (laughs) - Wonderful! Awesome turn. That's going to, that's gonna go down, Markus! That's you. - That wasn't a waste of a turn, by the way. - That's truly crazy. - I cannot believe that you remembered that one random Lava Mog. It's like total RP, and I was like, I wonder if they'll catch it. - Yeah. - You cannot say anything about monsters to me and not have me, like, log it away. - I'm asking myself where it shits from. - And I'm gonna lock that away, so. - Markus is, like, don't you dare, oh, don't you dare try and get away from me. I'm gonna come and take your family! I'm gonna come up behind the elf, and I take a sneak attack since, are they facing? Sorry, Dune. - They are facing Cross-Dune. You do get sneak attack. - Nice. - Are you going after Galfast, who's the one running, or are you-- - Oh, the one holding, yeah. - The one holding. Cool. - Yeah. Ooh, after Galfast, awesome, all right. - And I'll roll. That's gonna be 18. - 18. Hit. - Okay. Oh my gosh. Okay. 22 plus six, 28 damage. - Ooh! Hell yeah. Cool. You run up. Just fog of war. Slide your short sword, and you feel the most intense muscle you ever feel clamp down on the sword. It gets about a good three or four inches into Galfast's back, and she goes, ain't no need to be a spoilsport about it! And drops gently Drova on the ground and whips a frying pan out of her backpack and turns to face you. - Too bad for her, I move 15 away. And as the mist of my body passes, kind of, through it's like, make them pay. (laughs) - Hell yeah. You guys hear from the smoke beyond you over here in the vast caldera. You hear (squeals). - I knew it. - Oh, I see what you were saying earlier. - Who the hell is this? - But that's ridiculous. Why haven't they been using those things all along, everyone? - A giant eagle flies through the open, you know, the top of the caldera and drops the True King of Teer-ee-eth here right in front of you, Markus. - Damn! - You see that he's a scruffy ranger. He's spent the past 80 years out sleeping in the woods and the mud and the rain and has a sort of crown that doesn't seem like he wears it well on his head. He's just, like, a sort of rugged outdoorsy guy. And he looks, he's dropped onto that platform, looks down at you, Efink, and goes, oh, sweetheart, they made me king. I'm the king of Teer-ee-us. (laughs) - Oh my God. Serve him. Serve him, Efink. Now's your chance. Serve him! - Do I serve him? Do I become queen? Do I serve him? Do I become queen? - Serve him the papers. - Don't worry, gal, I'ma rescue that guy. They say I gotta live in that big stone house. - Yeah, yeah. Look, it was one night. It was a mistake. - I love you. - Now I'm seeing the benefits. - Oh, you love me. - I love you. - Oh, you love me. - Yeah. You're the prettiest elf I've ever seen. - Well, that's true. I, oh, I'm so conflicted right now. What did I ever see in you? - Incredible. Yes, that eagle rushes down towards there. And you guys see a second flies in as well right over here. Is going to attack our friend, Markus. - Damn! - Hell yeah. - This is nuts. - Yeah. (overlapping chatter) - That's gonna be 11. Markus, you take 14 points of damage. And I'm gonna need you to make a Strength saving throw as this thing tries to push you into the lava. - Oh, okay! - Advantage because- - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh man. So first one's 12. I'll take the 12, 13. - 13's gonna do it. That's exactly what you needed. (overlapping screaming) Awesome. Cool. That is now, so because of the eagles, the Lava Mog is going to whip around. Very careful with all these little spinys. And grabs this thing. Yes. This lava, and this just massive crustacean lava arachnid arm blasts this entire thing - Yeah. - Off. This guy, ahhh! And you just hear little blast of flame. Toast. Fucking toast. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Awesome. That's the Lava Mog's turn. That's now going to be back to the top. That's High Elves. These guys are gonna amazingly keep running. One, two, three, four, five, six. Ah! These, like, huge arms are whipping around them in all directions. Incredible. These guys are gonna start rushing here. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. Okay, so, yeah. You have your readied action. - Yes. - Go ahead and do your Grasping Vine. - No, no, no. - So you have to do a Dex saving throw. - Dex saving throw? Dc18, right? - Trapp, will you hand me bear man? - Sorry, what am I? - The new king. - Oh, sure. Cool. This guy? Just can't remember where he is. He's right under this awning. - The, that High Elf successfully saves. But, so, yeah. Goes five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60. These guys are going to start rushing here. Down the causeway. - Jesus Christ. - Insane. But that's the High Elves. So, Lilith, that's gonna be you. - So, first, can I roll to, against the Frighten? - That's the end of your turn. - All right. Well, in that case, I shall stay there. And as part of my bonus action, I shall direct the web, sticky web to try and pull down one of the nearest ones as well so they have to take another Dexterity saving throw. - Well because of some very smart tactilisations on your purpose, he is pulled 20 feet in the direction of the web to where there is no purchase and falls into the lava. - Yay! - There goes 350 years of art, culture, and thinking about the nature of life. - Yes. You have stupid leaf architecture. (laughs) It's tacky, it's tacky! - Oh, I agree. - It's tacky-- - No, it's one of my favorite things I have left. - And I shall use Infestation at one of the ones that's nearest to me, and a cloud of, like, tiny children swarm out and coat him. - Hell yeah. - And so you make a Constitution saving throw. - I don't wanna be a father, ugh! - He makes a Con saving throw, which he succeeds. - Ah, I see. - Very well then. - Well. - But is that half damage still or no? - It does not. - Okay. So, yes, gotcha. Yeah, the target must make a Constitution saving throw, or it takes (muttering) five feet in any direction. Gotcha! Okay, cool, cool, cool. Succeeds on that saving throw, and then are you gonna hold your position or move away? - I'll stay there. - Cool. Awesome. That's-- - But I take the opportunity to call out, Efink! Stay strong! You're better than this. You deserve better. - I mean, do I deserve better than being the queen on the good guys' side? You know what, you see where I'm at. (laughs) - You do you. You do what makes you happy, but he's so, ugh. - He's gross, Efink! - I had-- - He's gross! - I had a hairy thing back in the day. It was anyone with a beard, and I would, you know. - But they all have beards! All men have beards-- - Not High Elves. It was a new novelty. - At the end of your turn, you may roll again, that Wisdom saving throw. - That'll be 20. - You lose the Frightened Condition. You are no longer frightened. - Oh, nice. - Hell yeah. - She's not so impressive after all. - You see that Galfast looks at you with the frying pan in her hand and says, now, look here, Mister, I got no problem with you. You've been chasing us ever since Rook-land, and all I ask is that you let us pass by. (laughs) - I kind of slowly stare at the frying pan and the already exhausted Halfling on the ground and say, No. - She goes, all right. Well, you can't say as I didn't warn ya! And Galfast deals you-- - That's a big pan. - Three. Five, nine. 15 plus nine. First, 24 damage. - Nice. - And then. Oh, 12. 17. 26 damage. So 50 points. You see says, I may have been a gardener once. But I've hiked all across the world of El-da, and I've learned that some things need to be put back in the grave and lifts up bang, bang, bang, bang, bang! - He really can't handle those Halflings! - She's fighting. What the heck, Leiland? - You try, this is crazy! - What are you doing? - The thing is fucking, ahhh! (overlapping chatter) - Markus trapped a whole death circle earlier, and you can't handle a frying pan? - Pay attention when I do cool things! Not when I'm being beaten by a small one! Come on! - Ain't no shame in being beaten in a fair fight, sir. (laughs) You see that is, that's her turn. Drova, for her turn, goes I miss the shire. And that's her turn. (laughs) And then. Oh, sorry. Ruck-land. And then. (laughs) And then Leiland-- - Yeah. - Yeah, bleep. Leiland, it's gonna be you. - Okay. Well, after the sequence of hammering blows and insults echoing through the caldera-- - I got a photo! - I know that word. - I like, the final hit. Kind of look back. The burning anger of the small, blue flames burning bright within the inside of the helmet. I'm gonna go ahead and use my bonus action to use my Hex Blades Curse against this fucking Halfling. (laughs) And I'm going to unload with Griefmaker. Blade of Twilight. It's on. As I glance down-- - Hell yeah. - It's like, you carry a mighty weapon. But this has failed hundreds of your allies. Two strikes. That's going to be 27 for the first attack. - Oh, that'll do it. Yeah, for sure. - All right. And so that for damage on that will be 12, 14. 19 points of damage. - Ooh! Hell yeah. - And the second one is going to be a 19 to hit. - 19 does hit, yes. - And that's going to be 23 points of damage. - Damn! You unload Griefmaker, and go to plunge it into this Halfling's heart. You see that each time you go straight for the heart and with a Dexterity of a trained fencer, this pan brings your sword across Galfast's shoulder. Skowers him. Blood scatters behind her. And then, once again, like, cleaves across her ribs. She goes, you are a fine fencer, sir. And my hat's off to you. (laughs) - Leiland, what are you doing? - So Leiland. - Do you need some help? - Do you need help? - I've got this! (laughing) (overlapping chatter) I am the king of the Van-goo-ree! I will slay this tiny, wretched gardener on my own! - And we all can't wait. We all can't wait. - Look, Leiland, we can trade places. You can give the job-- (overlapping yelling) Okay. All right. - I wonder if Leiland gets scared of breakfast too since he's so afraid of frying pans. - Markus, are you dealing with too much over there? You think you can give him-- - Big old eagle. - Yes, Markus, say that you're fighting the eagle. And then, you know, do the Leiland thing. - Incredible. - Leiland's a little overextended right now. If you could just give him a hand. - Incredible. I'm going to need. That's going to be. It's Ka-sa-ra's turn once again. I'm gonna need Wisdom saving throws from everybody and J'er'em'ih. - [Mike] All right. - New di. - Okay. That wasn't good. (overlapping chatter) - I don't know what's up. - Jesus Christ. - Do you know what I rolled? A three! - Oh my God! - In increments of one. Differentials of one. - But in 17 turns, you're gonna be killing it. - Okay, that is 17 for Sokhbarr and advantage. So that's 11. This is a Wisdom? - This is Wisdom. Yes, that's correct. - All right. So that is 11 plus. 14 for both. - 14 for both you and J'er'em'ih? Cool. - I'm sorry. No, no. Sorry. - 17? - 17 for me. 14 for J'er'em'ih. - Gotcha. Cool, cool, cool. Let's go around. What do people got? - 21. - 21? - 14 plus six. Total is 20. - 20, cool. - 13. - 13? And then so, those two? And Lilith? - 17. - 17, gotcha. - And 16. - 16, cool. So Ka-sa-ra raises her staff aloft and. This is gonna be a lot of dice. - Oh no. - Here's a, maybe this is a good time for a question. We, at one point, got plus 17 temporary. - 19. - Did that go-- 19, sorry. - 19, yeah. - Did that go away? - That, you subtract from that first. - Great. Right, right, right. - And then once that's gone, it's gone. - Great! I wasn't sure if it was like, (muttering). Cool. - But, I guess, similarly. But yeah, is that aura in one specific place? Because there's also advantage to Strength checks there, right? - Oh. - In that aura? - Right. - Yes. - Is that still in play? Or is that? Does the aura still exist there? Or is it around Lilith? - Oh. It-- - Or has it dissipated by now? - It's-- - It's here, right? - It's around there, yeah. - Cool. So everybody that failed those saves-- - And what was the dc? - What was the dc? - The dc was 18. - Oh fuck. - Yeah, which was almost everybody. - Yeah. - Everybody that failed those saves takes 48 points of radiant damage. You guys each take 24. - 24 damage. - Okay. - Gulp. - Goddamn. - And once you lose your temporary-- - They're gone. - Lose your advantage on Strengths and stuff. - No, you still have those. - No, you still have that. - Still have that. - Cool - Yeah, you see that Ka-sa-ra just raises up and just, like, spirits erupt from the lava. This pure light of all the people that have been, like, slaughtered and killed here and all the sacrifices of blood are released and sent back to the White Shores. You can almost feel, like, (gibberish). - Yowser. - And a tremendous amount of radiant damage happens to everybody. That is Ka-sa-ra's turn. That's going to be Maggie. - Okay. Here's a question. How powerful is my? Can I, like, break a bunch of rocks and stuff? Like, what? How can I? Is there a way I can, like, knock them all into lava? Wait, what? - Your hammer, specifically, autocrits and does max damage against objects. - Okay. - So if you wanna smash some stuff, you can totally smash some stuff. - Okay. And is it possible for me to smash this? Is it going to destroy this thing? Or does it, like, no? - Unfortunately, the structure of this-- - Yes. - As you can see, is there's a lot of these under here. - Yes. - So this is much, like, if you crushed this down here, this would still be fine. - I see. - See? But this shit is all very rickety. And, you know, if you were strategic about it, right? You could take some stuff out. Like, you could collapse a section of that probably. - Yeah. Okay. And can I? Is it chained? Okay. - Cool. - Could you take the chain-- - I know, I know! I was like, can I? What can I do with my limited abilities? Is that possible? Can I lasso all these guys? - If you want to do some kind of crazy chain thing to lasso a bunch of people, I will let you roll for it! The roll might be very difficult. - That's an interesting heads-up. - Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it! - Okay! - It's too cool! - I'm going for it, I'm going for it, I'm going for it. I would like to lasso these guys. - Can you get far enough to get to the chains? - Oh, let me see. So I can move 40? Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40. - 40. - But then-- - Very close. You can take another Dash to close ranks with them if you want. I would also say if you wanted to, you could. Where did you start? You started right in front of-- - Yeah, I think there. - There? There's, like, a chain right next to you there on that rock if you wanted to grab. I don't know if you can grab that chain or not. - Do it, do it, do it! - You wanna do some cool shit, you do some cool shit. - I'll do it. - Okay! - Awesome. So you run up. You grab this chain there. This is an insane attack. Look at that long ass chain, so here's what we're gonna do. You are, like, not proficient in this, right? But-- - In fact. (laughs) - In fact. - Immediately tangled. Oh geez. - It's like Christmas lights. - Okay, so I'm gonna let you make. This is effectively a. I'm gonna ask you to make an Athletics check. Because you are raging, you actually get advantage on this roll, okay? However-- - It's also a Strength check, right? - A Strength check. So you have advantage. Even if you weren't raging, it's an advantage. This is gonna be an Athletics check. You're gonna need a 25 to get even one guy. If you get a. If you get a 30, which I think you. Which would require you to roll a nat 20, then you can get more than one guy. And we'll roll for how many you get. So go ahead. You roll twice. You're looking for a 15 or higher. 15. - 15? So you get at least one. Now, if this is a nat 20, you can get as many as you want. - Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. - I'm sweating. Five. - Five. Okay, cool. So you whip the chain around this guy as your attack. You have completely restrained him with your chain. Hell yeah. As part of the same attack. You whip him up. You're going to make an opposed Strength role with him. You, once again, get an advantage on this. I'm gonna tell you what you need to beat. You need to beat a 21. - Okay. - So you add the five there. - Okay. - And you get to roll twice. - 11. Two plus five. - Two plus five. Cool. So he's fully restrained, but you don't yank him into the lava yet. - All right. - And you see Tel-meer rush down here to-- - Tel-meer, get out of here! - Thank you! - You see that he looks at you and says, daughter of darkness, I want you to know that I'm not upset or angry. I, instead, have a calm sense of duty. And I must remove your wickedness from the land. I never get bent out of shape about pretty much anything. Like a leaf on the autumn wind. - Yeah, or like a fucking prick, Dad. - Whoa! - I accept that without reaction. (laughs) - I'm gonna make this guy laugh. That's, like, my goal now. Just to make him laugh. - When people call you daughter of darkness, it's just like I'm Maggie. I'm my own person. (laughs) - You have your own hopes and dreams. - Yes! It's not my relation to men. It's me! - Efink, it's gonna be you. - Okay, I am going to cast Divine Intervention. I am absolutely conflicted. I have my father. Has a complicated relationship. My husband, who I've hated forever, but now has status. And I'm terrified of lady wings. - Beige. - Yeah, beige. Ka-sa-ra. - Beige mommy. - Meanwhile, my friends are under attack. So I'm going to step back a little and let my deity kind of intervene and maybe help what I'm gonna do, so I have to roll percentile dice. And if I roll. - Before you roll. You're rolling. You need a 14 or under. - 14 or under. - Now, I'm gonna go ahead. Because this is Divine Intervention. It's a slim possibility. It's, you know, 14% possibility. We're gonna bring out the box of doom. (laughs) For extremely significant rolls, we bring out the box of doom. This is where the rolls that really make or break things happen. There's a very slim chance that this will happen. But if it happens, it will completely change the tide of this battle. - Okay. - So let's go ahead, you can bring the box over there. - What does it do? - The box of doom? - Yeah. - Oh no, it actually has the deity intervene. Like, the deity-- - In some way, shape, or form that the DM - Wow. - decides. - Yeah. - Here we go. Let's see. So you have your percentile dice. - 14 or fewer. - 14 or fewer is what you're looking for. - On the dice. Okay, come on, baby. Come on, boon daddy! Yeah, it's 48, so. (laughs) (applause) - So you raise your hands aloft. You go-- - Please help me, deity who I've worshiped for hundreds of years! I'm in a fickle pickle! (laughs) - You go photo negative, and you hear in your ear, hey, this is Gog-moth. I'm not here right now, but if you leave your name and the true name of your soul, I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks. Maggie, how do I? Do I just stop or do I? What do I do? - No, Dad, just let me come in the room. - Okay, I'm having a hard time with this. - Okay, you just push this. - Okay. Beep. (laughs) Wonderful. And then you snap out of it. (laughs) - It was so weird. I wasn't even allowed to leave a message. It said to, and then it just cut off! - Oh, yeah. So as it goes boop, and then you may speak whatever you may wish to Gog-moth. - Hey, there, Daddy. Whenever you're ready, I have so many decisions to make. Everyone's in a fight right now. Kind of really the end. Okay, see you later. Peace out. I love you very much. Bye. - Dad, be here for once, bye. - Wonderful. Thank you so much. - Continuing the-- - So that's your action? - That's my action, and I wanna cast Sanctuary. I'm going to, I'm gonna do one, two, three, four, five of my friends or six on my husband. I'm gonna roll a di for it to see who I do. Okay, if yeah, you're 30 feet away. So you now have Sanctuary, and if anyone tries to attack you, they have to make a Wisdom saving throw. - Ooh, it's all tingly. - If you attack or cast a spell, it'll go away. But for now, you are Sanctuary-ed. - Wonderful. Very cool. Lilith is Santuary-ed. That's great. Moving on. So many. So many moving parts. - That's great. - Hell yeah. At the end of Efink's turn. - What now, Brennan? - 45 eagles descend. - Hell yeah. Wonderful. Cool. You see that Ka-sa-ra the Beige looks past the screaming Lava Mog and says, it might be time to start wrapping up here, everybody! This monster is extremely bad! She looks at the anvil, raises her staff. - I want an attack of opportunity on that anvil. - And space and time cleave in a rift of mist. The anvil falls through it. Anyone about to make an Arcana check if they want. - Might as well. - 10. - 19. - 26. - 11. - You see this, 26. She has cast a Banishment spell on this anvil. You know, with a 26, it is gone immediately but is not gone forever. She's gotta hold onto that for a minute for it to be well and fully sent into the Nightmare Lands past the edge of the world where she is sending it to. - Right. - That's the end of your turn. That's going to be. That was Efink, Sokhbarr, and J'er'em'ih. - Cool. I would like to suggest to the lava monster that he might want to take his little crab claws and grab onto Ka-sa-ra the Beige. Just dunk her fully in the lava. - Like a fuck it oreo. - You're looking at that. One thing I will say-- - Yeah. - Let me, actually, see something here real quick. Sorry. Little Elf. - Get him, Brennan. - This thing. - No! - So the Lava Mog-- - Can't reach. - Is stationary and cannot reach Ka-sa-ra. - Damn. - So yeah, Ka-sa-ra is not within reach of the Lava Mog partially because the part you're seeing of the Lava Mog is about 20% of its body mass. - Ewww! - No, I thought those limbs were longer than that. Damn. That was my plan for that turn. - I rolled my Wisdom saving throw if that's okay. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - At the end of my turn. - At the end of your turn. - Natural 20! - Cool. Yep, yep, yep. - I am going to. So I'll ride J'er'em'ih 40 feet. Goddamn it. - There you go. - Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. That's about 40 there. - And J'er'em'ih can also take a Move and a Dash if he wants to use his whole turn, so he could get you even closer if you wanted. - Yeah, at a certain point, I'm just gonna, like, run into these motherfuckers though, right? - Yeah, exactly. - All right. Well, maybe I'll do it anyway. And then, yeah sure, we'll Dash with J'er'em'ih. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35. - Hell yeah. I gotcha here. - Cool. And then 40 is, I guess, there. I'm sort of, like, next to him? - Yep. - I think. And then what I wanna do is I want to conjure animals. - Cool. - I think, basically, behind this big stretch but in a place where they can. I wanna get them behind these guys and as close to Ka-sa-ra as I can - Yep. - so that they can, like-- - The range on Conjure Animals is 60 feet. - Yeah. I'm mainly just trying to. I just kind of wanna, it breaks their concentration for Banishment, is that-- - Correct. - Cool. - Yeah, just try to do damage. And see if she loses her concentration. - Cool. Then I will-- - How many beefy boys you summoning? - I'm gonna summon. If we're just looking for, let's do four Worgs. Why not? - Four Worgs! - You riding J'er'em'ih, you know, put your hand to the side of your snout. And go, (squealing). And you see rocks scrambling and hear them up above like, wild Worgs that travel around the rim of the scary volcano. Bound down right over here. These nasty gobledegooks. Go ahead and roll Initiative. - Oh, okay. Cool. Five. - No worries. But that probably means they go after you. I think they go sooner. - All right. - Awesome. - I'm going to, actually, bonus action Healing Spirit right, I'm on top of J'er'em'ih so Healing Spirit right on top of me and J'er'em'ih. So this will summon, let's say, some sort of spectral toad that'll, who, that's all slimy and will heal things that is in its space. That is a second level. So that will be anything, anything in that space can do, can restore one d6 hit points. That is both me and J'er'em'ih. - Cool. - So we'll go ahead and do that. That will be two for me and three for J'er'em'ih, so I'm at 93. And J'er'em'ih is at 16. He's really low down there, and that was my action. That was my bonus action. J'er'em'ih can't take his reaction 'cause I didn't attack. I think that's everything. - Hell yeah. - Defense rests. I guess that I will suggest to the Lava Mog that maybe he wants to just lift this guy and gently just tilt everyone on there into the lava. - Cool. I'm gonna need a, because you're giving a complex instruction. - Sure. - I'm gonna need a Animal Handling check. - Okay. - I'll go ahead and set the difficulty of this. We're gonna say a 15 or higher gets you something like what you asked for, and we'll call it a 25 or higher exactly what you asked for. - Cool. I basically don't want the bridge to be totally gone. I just wanna knock 'em off. - Cool. - Cool. I am rolling. That is a 19 plus eight. (excited screaming) - So you did some crazy, you're like fucking reptile gills. And the Lava Mog perfectly understands you, and you can feel it, like, gain a point of intelligence from being in your presence. It's like, oh, like I am safe now. The beast lord is here and turns around to face these two High Elves and the true king of Teer-ee-hav. (laughs) Insane. - That is amazing. - That is, what a roll. Cool. That, speaking of the high king of Teer-ee-hav, he is going to rush over here, and you see he goes, 'course there, goddang it, you gotta stop, eh? I'm the king of Ter-eth. - Okay, buddy, I will-- - I lived in the woods for 80 years as a ranger, and I know how to make a lean-to. - Yeah, I made a good job sticking to the sea. (laughs) - You see he's going to take some swings at you. Here we go. - Wow. It was a phase. It was a phase! - He deals 54 points of damage to you as he takes, he goes, my dad-in-law made this sword. It was broken, but now it's working again. - It was broken. - Yeah, I gotcha. He just lashes out this crazy, primal swing. It's worth 54 points of damage. And he looks like, he's like a grimy, he fights like a dirty, fighting kind of dude. - How much damage from that strike? - That was three attacks that hit the delta total of 54. - Oh, he-- - And do those people not fall into the lava? - That Lava Mog hasn't moved yet. - I sort of just, I suggested that maybe it wants to do that. But it hasn't-- - Got it. On its turn. - And, Markus, it's gonna be you. - All right, so I just took those hits. I'm down to 13 hit points. - Whoa. - [Ify] Yeah. - Oh shit. Okay. - You haven't seen my tricks! And I actually go for the eagle to try and mount it. (laughs) - Yeah! - Cool. I'm gonna ask you to make an opposed Athletics, opposed Acrobatics roll-- - And you roll an advantage because of Strength. - No, no, sorry. Actually, you can roll an advantage if you want. I'll let you do Athletics or Acrobatics, but I'll tell you what you have to beat. - [Ify] I'll roll Acrobatics. - Go ahead and roll whatever you wanna roll. - You wanna, but, but-- - Whatever you-- - Just remember that if you do Athletics, that it's at advantage. - Okay. I'll just do Acrobatics 'cause it's safer. - No! - I rolled an eight. - Well, let me tell you what this eagle rolled. Which is a natural one. So you, like, square up to do some kind of cool thing with him. And he's like, bring it, come on. And you leap up, grab this eagle. And, like, right in, like, the soft thing, his beak is hard. But it meets flesh, and you, like, get your hand behind the back of its beak. Deep in its flesh, and it goes, ah, ah, ah, ah! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! And you are fully up on this boy. That's just your Movement. - Okay. - Truly insane. - Well, now what? - [Rekha] Well, now Ify's riding an eagle. - Now I'm on the bird. - Incredible. - Cool! - Yes. Here we go. You're bird boy. - Everything is silly. - Okay. - So. - Everything is so silly. - He's surfing. - He's, like, surfing. Okay. All right, Ify. You've jumped on an eagle. So what happens next? - All right, so now. That was just plan one. I did have a whole plan for this eagle, so-- - I definitely had a plan. - If I were to Animal Handling this eagle, will it fly for me? - This eagle is a sentient being. All you make a Persuasion check. - Oh, okay. Then I'ma definitely do a Persuasion check. I didn't know it was sentient. I'm like, look man, I'm about to make a ton of money. I don't know what eagles like, but I can get you whatever you like and then some. And, you know, look, sexy eagle ladies. I'm sure that you can, I don't know the mating rituals of your kind. But I'ma give you whatever you want. Just help me beat these fools. - All right. - Find me some sexy eagle ladies? - All right. I set the dc in my head for this Persuasion check. You go ahead and roll this Persuasion check, and let me know what you get. - 16. - 16. You see-- - I could've rolled anything, and it would've been amazing! I rolled a two, so it's 16. - So it's 16. - I have plus 14. - You see-- - I feel you. - So you see that the eagle looks at you and says, oh, sexy eagle ladies, huh? Okay, well, let's talk, dude. (screeches) And flies you out over the vast sea of lava, swivels you down to one of his claws and is like, so like, what kind of cash are we talking? Can I see something in writing? - Oh. - Contract. - So, at this time, let's keep this going. I'm gonna pull out my Hearing Stone to call my boys back on the siren. - Cool. You hear, right, sir. It's Or-la Pickering here on the siren. We live halfway to Kel-in-tor. - All right. Yeah, yeah, Pickering. How about you first say how much cash we gon' make from this job, and then see how much we can cut in our eagle friend here. - Maybe, like, a two and a half million pieces of gold, the largest mercenary transaction there's ever been in the world of Elda. And we'll give 25 artifacts in the bargain, a number of Arcane canon, there's a number of suits of armor, fully master worked blades. - So the eagle goes, want a gold nest. (laughs) - Pickering, can we get our friend here a gold nest? - I don't know what that is. But yes, we can! - All right. Just tell my mans here on the line, and he'll get you your gold nest. - Insane. - Wow! - I would've wanted, like, a gold house? - Incredible. That's your turn, cutting a deal with an eagle out over the lava caldera. - I can't believe how complicated everything is getting. - Cool. Incredible. It's the eagle's turn. This eagle departs from you, flies right over your head, Craf-soon. And if someone would pass me Drova, you see that Galfast tosses Drova up to the eagle. And the eagle carries Drova away. - No! - Leaving just you and Galfast-- - Oh, fuck that. - That's Galfast. - Oh. - Go ahead and give me-- - I thought the one who had fallen over was clearly the one who was passed out. - So you watch, and then he goes like, you see that Galfast says, be well! Be well, Miss Drova! I'll see you back in Rock-land in short order! I just got some business to take care of. And eagle flies away. That's, those are the eagles. That's going to be your Worgs and then the Lava Mog. - Great. I would like the Worgs to move as, probably have to be a Movement and a Dash. Can they Dash? - Their speed is 50. They can Dash. - Yeah, I would like them to, if at all possible, I'd love for them to be able to attack Ka-sa-ra the Beige. If they can't get that far, I'd like them to get as close as they possibly can. - 75. They can close with Ka-sa-ra. So they can't, they'd have to use Dash to get there. - Right. I think that is fine. I think, like, probably, like, lining them up there fencing her in. I'm kind of okay with that. It'd be, like, one hanging back in case she does something fucking crazy. - [Matt] The goal. The goal indeed. - Actually, maybe two hanging back. - Two hanging back? - Two basically just, yeah. I think that makes sense. - Cool. - And they're just gonna be poised, ready to push her into the lava or grab her. - Do you want them to attempt to push her in or to attempt to damage her? - She's got wings, right? - Yeah. - Will the pushing her affect - She'd probably-- - her concentration? - Probably not. Probably damage will affect concentration more. - Worgs can't grapple, can they? - They can't. - Can they, like-- - Grappling doesn't affect spell casting altogether that much. - Got it. But they couldn't, like, basically, like, suicide drop, like, grapple and just fall in the lava? - Oh, they are loyal to you if you want them to try to-- - Kill him. - To make the suicide play. You can totally do that. (overlapping chatter) Regardless, it takes a turn getting to them. - [Mike] Sure. - And now, what we're going to do is we are going to, that's a... Now what's gonna happen is I'm gonna move this claw, and I'm gonna lift this. I don't know if lifting this will do anything to Stalker, to Percival. If it does, he's in a tremendous amount of trouble. Let's see. Oh no! Insane. Well, so here's what's gonna happen. But you see that the Lava Mog does delicately put it back down. These two are fucking toast. There's no reason to roll for it. And I'm going to make a Box of Doom roll now. - Oh my gosh. - Here's-- - Have to kill a very important NPC. - Here's the deal. Percival has got a plus two Dex save. - Oh, that's not good. - That's not very good at all. I'm gonna set the dc at an even 17 for him to catch onto the rock. If he rolls a 15 or higher, he will be clinging to a spar of rock. If he rolls a 14 or lower, he's gonna hit that lava. (dramatic music) He looks at you, Efink. And you see he goes, listen, Amy. I know you don't like to live on dirt, but you can live with me in the big house in Kel-in-tor. We can be happy there. - That sounds lovely but foreboding. - No. The only thing that's foreboding is my heart. - Your what one more time? - My heart. Come on, be my wife. And he is flung through the air and is about to hit the lava, gets snapped by one of these yellow tentacles, and sucked into the mouth of the Lava Mog. You see that Ka-sa-ra says, Percival, king of Ter-ee-eth! The heir to the throne! And you see that Tel-meer goes, this too has come to pass. And I don't react. - Nothing. - I also am pregnant. (laughs) That's a dirty lie. I do say it. - Truly insane. - Wow. - What's happening? - You get closure the way most of us never do. - That's true. - Oh, that's true. Who needs divorce papers when death is involved? - Yes. The heir to Teer-ee-eth has been swallowed by a lava monster, and that is fucking wild. You see that Galfast looks up and says, it's all right, Miss the Beige! Wouldn't it make more sense to have some sort of democracy or something like that? We have elected mayors in Ruck-land, and it's a much more egalitarian way to run your society. (laughs) It's going to now go back to top of the order. Be the High Elves, who haven't even gotten to attack. All these guys are fucking dead. - Well, I'm in a great position really. - Yes. These guys are going to take, one of them take a swing at J'er'em'ih. - No. - [Mike] No! He's-- - Misses. Another one's gonna take a swing at you, Sokhbarr. Hits you one time for five. And then 13 points of damage from one of the High Elves. - Oh, God! That's-- - Great. - And slashes you with a weapon. - Down to 80 HP. - That's going to be Lilith. - So, first of all, as my bonus action, I'd like the web to whip out at the Lord Xanax. - Tel-meer. Lord Xanax! Tel-meer the Calm. Wonderful, so he's gotta make a Strength saving throw. - A Dexterity saving throw. - Oh, a Dexterity saving throw. Gotcha. Cool, cool, cool. Well, let's make our Dexterity saving throw for our buddy here. He's not gonna have a good Dexterity saving throw. His Dexterity saving throw is three. You just rolled a 15 or higher. Okay. - What is happening? - What is, truly, what is happening? Truly, actually, what is happening? So I'm gonna get out the Box of Doom again. Here's the deal. Tel-meer the Calm does have a feature called Indomitable, which means that he may re-roll a saving throw. If he don't like it. That being said, he's still gotta roll a 15 or higher to succeed. So we're gonna bring out the Box of Doom again. - Doom heavy battle. - I'm just gonna call this battle, yes, closure. For so many things. - Okay, so he's gotta roll 15 or higher. Here's the first roll. 10. He's going to re-roll. - [Mike] Oh my gosh. (laughs) - It's like it's a mountain of doom. - But it's not. It's a scary volcano. - It's a scary volcano. - We can't, legally speaking. - Very scary volcano of doom. (laughs) - Tel-meer looks at you and says, daughter, now that your scruffy husband has been eaten by this big-- - It's a Lava Mog! - A what? - It's a Lava Mog! - Quiet, you turtle. - Okay. (laughing) Okay. - You see-- - You're more than a turtle. - It's fine. - You see he looks and says, it is time for you to return to Camp Blood-meer and to return to, oh no! And you see-- - I just wanted to make you proud! - And he, bam! Hits rocks. - Yes! - He hits the fucking lava. I'm going to, now I'm going to be, because you've just fucking axed two of the hugest NPCs, I'm gonna actually roll damage to make sure that these guys actually are, like, dying. - For both of them-- - For both of them. So we're gonna roll damage. This is going to be the most damage dice I've ever rolled maybe playing D&D. This is gonna be 18d10. - Oh my Lord. - Let's go ahead and see how much damage each of these boys takes. Do I have-- - I wanna hear that death drop. - Yeah. - I haven't needed dice-- - D10s here if you need it. - Yeah, let me go ahead and grab-- - Wait. Actually, I have a ton of d10s. - Here's a d10. - All right, vampire over here. - Vampire. - There you go. Exactly. - Oh my God. All right. - Do you have enough? - Whew! Look at all them d10s! All right. So that's gonna be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. - What spell did you use? - Eight. - I just, you know, it's a Grasping Vine or Grasping Web, you know. - It is a spell that is totally reasonable. It is a, it is not an overpowered spell. It just pulled somebody. - It just yanked-- - It just-- - Yeah, the topography here. - Really funny. - Really, really conditional. - Okay. Each of them's gonna take 13, and then 18 is 31. 40. 48, 56. 76. 87, 91, 94, 103. Each of them takes 112 damage each. 112 damage each. - Oh no! - Okay, okay. - Leiland, how you doing? - Don't worry! I'm gonna finish off what's happening and then take out the king himself! (laughing) (overlapping chatter) - No, nobody tell him! - I'm gonna take them all out! (overlapping yelling) - Nobody tell him! - Are you sure you're not overextended over there? - Don't worry, Markus! I'll come help you in just a second! - It feels like all you have to do is press down, and you'll hit something important. - Incredible. Yes, you see-- (laughing) You see Tel-meer hit the lava and go, I hate this mountain. And he is gone. - Whoo! - And then... But you can feel Stalker in the gullet of the Lava Mog kind of going like, goddang ding dang lava bear. - Don't you hurt her! Don't you dare hurt her! - Everyone, go ahead and take your dice back. You pass that around. Insane. - Goodness. - Get 'em all? - Yes. - Hell yeah. Lilith, that's your bonus action! - I'd like to take my turn now. - Oh my. - That is wild. - Wonderful, thank you. - So. - I love-- - This is so silly. (laughing) This right here is very, everything that's going on behind-- - But it's so, like, so much sense. - Incredible. - I haven't moved. I'm so scared. - Amazing. - Oh, there's a little bucket. Give that to Leiland. (laughing) - You're looking for something. Wouldn't pass a torch through it. - So yeah, Lilith, it's your turn. - So Lilith concentrates very hard, and the webs go. Instead, she reaches her arms out. And the gravity in a 50-foot radius that just catches all of the Elves reverses, and they start falling towards the ceiling. - Incredible. - And they have to make some Dexterity, if there's something they can grab onto, they can try and make Dexterity saves. - If there's something they can-- - Yeah. - Grasp onto? - Yes. - Stalactite. - Hold on a second. - There's one, there was one dude wrapped in chains. - Yeah, you see this one guy over here goes, ahhh! And you're holding a balloon elf in your fucking hand. (laughing) - Can you put him on a little platform? - Insane! - That's amazing. - That's so funny. All right, so they make Dexterity saving throws. Or they're flung up to the ceiling. - Yes. - Does it mention the results of being flung up to the ceiling? - It's a range of 100 feet. If they hit something in the meantime, they hit it as if they've been falling-- - As if they've been falling. - If not, they hover up there. - Gotcha, okay. - Cool. - For how long? - What is that called? (excited chatter) - Then they fall 100 feet. - They fall 100 feet. - [Rekha] So funny. - Incredible. Okay. Wonderful. So these three all (screams). Just fucking... - I'm-- - Yes! - Yeah, all three of these fucking guys, I'm gonna go ahead and put them, they're way higher than this. But we'll put them out over here just so we know what the fuck is going on with them. The other two guys, does it say anything, made their Dexterity save that they are, like-- - The gravity is still reversed. - Yeah, they're not immune to the effect. They're just holding onto something. - Just holding onto the-- - Gotcha. Okay. Insane. So these guys are all flying up into the air. The other two guys, this guy grabs onto that ladder. And you see that the other guy grabs onto the first guy. Like, ahhh! Tee-an-tree-ell, please! Hold tight, my brother! And you see, and then your guy is up in the chain as a balloon. - Yeah, a balloon. - Yeah, we covered it. - Very good. - I have two hammers! (overlapping chatter) - Straight up cring-to-sing the elf in the chain. (laughing) - Insane. - That's so good. Amazing. So awesome. So you reverse gravity. Do you wanna do your Movement? - Oh. I think I'm all right. I'm just going to hang out here. - You see, as you do that, the Lava Mog turns over to you and goes like (gurgles). - Come on! Oh, come on. - You guys see, okay. Galfast is gonna swing at you with the pan. - Go for it. - Incredible. - Look out, Leiland! - Please! - I've seriously got this. - Be careful. - Focus on your own shit! - Is there cookware? - Oh my God! - Is that iron? - Galfast misses twice. He goes, cling clang! You go. But you feel yourself being like, my God! A pan is not a good weapon! - No! At all! - And it's just moving lightning fast. But that's Galfast. That's Galfast's turn. That's gonna be Leiland. That's your turn. - All right. - Leiland, Leiland, Leiland, Leiland, Leiland. - Very well. Tiny one, your friend is safe for now. But we'll hunt him down to the ends of this planet, and you will fall here today after, I look over my shoulder and see that everyone else is just gone and be like, what the fuck! Where did! And just gonna go ahead and take two strikes. - [Brennan] Incredible. - That is gonna be a 25 to hit. - 25 hits. - And that will be 25 damage. - Okay. - And the last one is 15 to hit. - 15 does not hit. I go again. Galfast looks up at you and says, my, but you are a good fighter, sir. And there's no doubt about that. - Could you just be, like, slightly more invested in this aggressive exchange of deathly blows? I want you to fear me! - Well, I want you to be my friend. And there is no doubt about that either, sir. - I really hate everything about you. Your species, I will wipe out every single Ruck-land rando with you. - Well, if you come to Ruck-land trying to wipe us all out, you'd better be ready for a big old picnic dinner because we'll be taking you out and talking some sense into that old noggin of you. Clank clank clank. - Which in that moment, in that moment, seeing that frying pan, knowing the pain that it's caused, and as simple as that conversation was, there is a moment of deep dread in Leiland's face as he begins to imagine an entire rolling countryside of fucking Galfasts. - She smiles, winks, and we move on from there as you still have your duel on the bridge over the lava. And it is-- - These tiny and cheerful people haunt your dreams. - There's a deep sensed scar on my undead soul from this day forward. - Awesome. Ka-sa-ra is going to go. - No! - No. - Okay. - I think I know what she's gonna do. - She looks at all of your Worgs and goes, Sokhbarr, the Bog Lord, there is a world where you would ally with us to protect the wild places of nature. Does that not entice you at all? - You don't like my wild things. - Well, I mean, look at them. - What do you? That is so rude. That is so rude! - She turns around and says, creatures, be gone from hence and casts Dispel Magic. - Nothing I can do about that? - There is absolutely nothing you can do about that. - All? - Back to blows. - Okay. - She's dispelling the magical effect. - All right. - Which is a big old bummer. But you see, and after that, she takes off-- - No! - No! - And starts to fly up out of the caldera. - What can I do? - But yes, she begins to fly up and away as your Worgs are dismissed. She, that is Ka-sa-ra's turn. That's gonna be Maggie. - Okay. I had two thoughts. One, I wanted to use my hammer and my elf balloon to kill these two people. Or I wanted to ask, and this is crazy, how feasible, can I, can this monster help me to, like, I wanna, like, jump and attack her. Can I ride her tentacles to jump and attack this? - Okay. Here's how we're gonna do this. You, the Lava Mog can't communicate with you. - Okay. - But all of its claws are clacking and spinning and whirling. You're pretty athletic. If you wanted to use its moving claws as surfaces from which to leap-- - Yeah. - I would allow that. - Okay. - You have to make an Athletics check. I'm gonna say it is once again a DC, this is gonna be a DC 25 Athletics check. - Okay. - At advantage. - Okay. - If she misses, does she fall in the lava? - Very possibly. - Interesting. Doesn't seem worth it. - I will say that if you get below a 15, you fall in the lava. Otherwise, you just end up on another platform. - Okay. Hm, what do we think I should do? - Yes, do it! - Yes, go for it! - You'll be fine, you'll be fine! - Oh wait, what? You said it too quick. - I haven't killed anything yet, but I can. - I think you gotta go for it. - Okay, I'll go for it. - Okay, this is-- - I am also pregnant. - This is a crazy question too. Just throwing it out there. The elf balloon that she's holding-- - Does it function as a second hammer? - I was gonna ask does it function as a lift device? - Yeah. Helium. - Oh, wait a minute! If you leave the elf there, you can't possibly fall in the lava because you would be suspended-- - Yes! - As long as she's in the 50-- - I have the gravity spell! - As long as she's in the 50-foot radius. - Yes! - It's a gravity spell, yeah. - Which is-- - Yeah-- - All around there. - So for part of it, you can almost, so you could Winnie the Pooh-- (excited yelling) - Okay, I'm gonna lower the DC down to 20. If you use the bizarre gravity realm there, I will lower the DC down to 20. - Okay. So my move is that, not to travel on this, it's to Winnie the Pooh-- - Rather, you are going to use a combination of jumping off of claws and a gravity dimensional shift to jump up to try to hit this flying angel wizard? - Okay. - D&D. (laughing) Cool. Let's go ahead. You roll twice, you have advantage. You're trying to beat a 20. - 18. - You've already beaten it. You've already beaten it. Roll to see if you crit. Roll to see if you crit if you want. - Okay. - Cool. So how far-- - Yes, yes. - Can you move? You leap, how many? I don't have enough flying guys! Insane. Okay. Maggie, I'm gonna need you to now make, so here's the thing. I'm gonna look at your jump calculator real quick. - And is this for my locket? That kind of jump thing? - Yeah. 'Cause you're making this insane leap. Oh God! Your running, okay. Yeah, your running high. Yeah, this is insane. - And I said I was six feet tall yesterday. - Yeah, your running high jump is, like, 30 feet off the ground already. So you guys watch, Maggie, you've, like, been running at this thing. You've got this elf on a chain. He balloons up. You guys see Maggie kicks off the ramp, swings all the way around up here with the elf kind of bubbling on top of the gravity thing, like, ahh, ahh, ahh! Almost like being pulled back down. You swing around, clip off the stone, bam! Off of a high raised claw and soar through the air, so there is a moment in which you are. - That's true because she would be, typically, weightless if she passed through the gravity-- - Right, she's weightless as she goes-- - Right. - Yeah. - Yeah, absolutely, right? So she's, you're totally weightless on the first part of your jump. - Yeah. - So there's no reason that you can't clear an insane distance. - Right. - You get-- - [Matt] This is such a beautiful combination. - I love this so much. - Reverse gravity with a balloon elf. - You can call it the Winnie the Pooh. - Winnie the Pooh. - Incredible. Here we go. Be safe. You have, ahh! - Oh my God! - Oh no. I'll grab this chain here. Okay, so they're going to have to have fun shooting this in post because here's the visual that you see. Ka-sa-ra is beginning to fly away, having secreted the anvil away. And as she is like, farewell! Galfast, quickly, reach out your hand! Maggie, what do you say as you start, just like, soaring through the air after her? - Whoo! - And this is the visual you guys see here is her holding this elf on a chain. Go ahead and make your attacks. - [Mike] This is crazy. - Okay, 14 plus, what do I add? - You can do Reckless if you want as well. - Oh yeah, so that's, okay. 16. - 16? - And that's-- - Definitely hits Ka-sa-ra. - 16 plus, yeah, that's a 27. - Definitely hits Ka-sa-ra. Yep. Do you wanna do damage to her? Or do you want, 'cause you actually have multiple attacks. You can do damage in one attack and then also try to restrain her in the other if you want. - Okay. - Yes! - I'll do those both at the same-- - Okay, so how much damage do you do in the first one? - That's what I roll now? - Yep. - Okay. Six, four, 10 times 16. - Jesus! - 16, yeah. That was 16 plus nine. - Oh, 16 plus nine, yeah. 25. - 25? Jesus Christ! So, first of all, that damage is not only dealt to Ka-sa-ra but also the elf who you, he goes, he goes, I am so sorry, Beige mistress! Blam! You hear his spine crack as the machine whips around. Now we're gonna make opposed Athletics rolls. Might be surprised to find that Ka-sa-ra, not too athletic. So now on an Athletics check, you've just gotta beat an 18. - Okay, so this? - Yeah. - So 15 plus 10. 25. - So, boom! She is, like, knocked out of the air with a fucking instant elf corpse that is dead on impact and just loops of chains. So now she is, like. And there's, like, a dead elf hanging. - Oh, no, no, no! - Does the dead elf also bring her, like, what? - No, you're out of the gravity sphere now. - Oh, okay. - So now he is actually further weighing her down. - Oh cool. - Okay, so there's this dude. There's no way this is, I'm gonna say that she lowers a couple feet because-- - Yes! - Also, she has to or she'll fall over. - My Lord! - This is insane. - Sure! - Sure, why not? Incredible. You're flying through the air. By the way, you're up here. You can't fly, so you're very much jumping right now. You are going through the air. You have a bonus action with your Frenzy if you wanna take it as well. What would you like to try to do? - I guess just hit her? Right? Isn't that what I-- - You can attempt to, you can attempt to do more damage. You can also attempt to try and use an Athletics check to move her in a direction. Whatever you wanna do. - Can I move her in the direction of lava? - You absolutely can. Yes, you absolutely can. - Is that different, that's different than hitting her? 'Cause hitting her just lowers her-- - Hitting her just lowers her hit points. - Okay. - So but you're welcome to do either, whichever you wanna do. - Could also try to, could just try to, like, jump on her or-- - Not with that, not with a bonus action. - Okay. What probably makes the most sense? Try to move her towards lava so she dies? - It makes a lot of sense. - And getting her closer to everyone else definitely helps. - Yeah. Bring her down. - Okay. So I'll try to move her down toward lava. - Okay. This is incredibly hard just given the physics of what, I don't know why we're bringing physics into this. But she, to like, get her, hit her, restrain her, and then slam her down in one action is gonna be very hard. So I'm gonna say that you have disadvantage with this. But because you have advantage, it cancels out, which means you're just rolling one di. - Okay. - We're gonna bring out the Box of Doom for a third time. - Yes! - We're gonna roll Ka-sa-ra's first. She gets a plus six to this roll. Okay, that's a 22. - Cool. - So you've gotta get a 12 or higher. - Okay. 13! - 13! (cheering) You guys see, out of fucking nowhere, Maggie, who you guys all kind of, like, you've been running around. You've been fighting Galfast, you're on an eagles back, you're summoning Worgs, you're doing all this shit! Maggie's kind of been, like, soldiering up this ramp, got a guy with a thing, and then out of fucking nowhere, ahhh! - This is for my baby! - You see that your fucking eyes shoot flames. Huge bloody fangs distend from your maw. Ka-sa-ra goes, oh my goodness. The heir of the Lord of Shadows. - Don't! Why does everyone bring that up! I'm Maggie! - And you see, ahhh! Boom! You hurl her out of the fucking sky. Ka-sa-ra hits the lava. That falls over. The elf goes down with her. Ka-sa-ra is going to, once again, take, and I think I actually do have enough d10s this time, is gonna take 18d10 damage. - Wow. - Oh my gosh. - This is fucking nuts. - Would you say this affects her concentration? (laughing) - Falling into lava? - Ka-sa-ra goes, oh no. Not again. And in a blast of radiant light, Ka-sa-ra is gone. And the anvil reappears. Incredible! And now, Maggie, you've just gotta make an Athletics roll on the next turn and not fall into the lava. - Basically, just appeared six seconds ago. Reappeared six seconds later. - Yes. - Right in front of my face. - Right in front of your face, exactly. - I'm still there. - Incredible. That, what a fucking turn. - Yes! - Maggie! Efink, that's your turn. - I know exactly what I'm going to do. I have still not made up my mind, and I surreptitiously, I glance over at you. You actually seem to be handling yourself, so I'm like, begone you sil-ven Elven creatures of light. And I, like, kind of go like this. And I heal my husband. - Ohh. Very cool. - But I try to make it stealthy. - Excellent. Go ahead and give me a Deception roll if you'd be so kind. - A seven. Total. - Seven. - Yeah. - Leiland, you see Efink do that. And I'll say that Lilith, because you're blasting webs out of your butt, you see the same thing as well. - But he does get 70 hit points restored, and I would like to make eye contact with him if I can. - He starts to, well, actually, it's his turn. Yeah, it's his turn. He goes, he gets out of there and starts to leap out of the maw and goes, goddurn, I love you so much. You complete me, my partner. - You don't love me so much? - I dang love you. - Oh, you dang love me. Yes, I haven't made up my mind. But I've seen the way you fight, and it is compelling. I might not join your group, but you might have to join mine. - Okay. Do I have to live in a stone house? - Do you have to, I will not make you live-- - All right! (laughing) Sokhbarr and J'er'em'ih, that's gonna be you guys. - Great. - Are you taking a bonus action or anything or are you good? - Bonus action. I might, you know what? I'm going to move for the first time in this encounter. I'm going to move, it's still stealthy and surreptitious. So I'm going to move 10 feet towards him, and that's it. - Awesome. Awesome, awesome. - As I kind of reach out and go. - Incredible. That's now going to be Sokhbarr and J'er'em'ih. - Great. Well, I am still mounted on J'er'em'ih. And there's a big spectral frog on top of us. It's healing us. If I start my turn here, they also, I get another round to heal. - Okay, great. - Starting with this frog. It's like, and I'm getting whatever. I should've used two different colors. Whatever, here. It's six for J'er'em'ih, three for me. So that'll be, J'er'em'ih's now 22. I am at 83. And... - That was very noble that you gave your pet the six 'cause you did not have to decide that. - I care more about J'er'em'ih than I do anything else in this world. - Cool. - Now, J'er'em'ih and I are both, within range of both of those guys, right? The two-- - Yes, absolutely! Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right. Well, things seem kind of under control everywhere else. So I guess I'll just attack those guys. - Hell yeah! - All right. Here's the order of things that's gonna go. I'm gonna start with Sokhbarr. He's gonna make an attack to the guy on the left. - Hell yeah. - That's gonna be, roll it! Eight, 10 plus 11 is 21. - You hit. - All right. Then I am going to roll. - And it's gonna be 1d6 plus 10 'cause they're your favorite enemies. - Love it! So. 1d6 plus 10. That is five plus 10 is 15 damage. - Oh, he is on death's door. You, one ax into the side of his head and just cleave his jaw. Go ahead and take your other attack. - Great, I'll take my other attack. Attack that color. - Thank you. - Is he dead? - No, I'm sorry. He's got five hit points left. - Oh, I missed it. - No worries. He's looking very, he's looking death's door. Hurt very, very badly. - He almost walked into the lava himself. - Cool. - For my second attack, I'm actually gonna attack the other guy. - Cool! Go for it. - That's gonna be, ooh, that's no good. That is two plus 11. That is 13. - 13 does not hit. - Very well. And then-- - On your turn, you also have Coordinated Attack with J'er'em'ih. - That's what I'm about to do. - Yeah, there you go. - So J'er'em'ih is now going to-- - But isn't one of them dangling from the other one? You know what I mean? Up? - Yeah. So you could just focus your attacks on the guy whose, there's one guy who's holding the ladder. And the other one is holding the other guy. - Oh, I see. - So they're actually more like this. - I did not understand. Okay. - Representing the spatial dynamics of this fight is impossible. - Okay. Can he, He used Coordinated Attack. He can't Flurry of Claw and Fang on the Coordinated Attack, right? - No, he gets both. So he can Coordinated Attack on your turn, and then he can Storm of Claw and Fang on his. - All right, cool. Let's start with that Coordinated Attack. He'll go for the most hurt one. He rolls. Ooh, that's no good. That is four plus 10 is 14. - Does not hit, and now he does Storm of Claw and Fangs. So you can attack them both. - Great. Do I roll for each of them, or do-- - Roll for each of them, yeah. - 13 plus 10 is 23. - He hits. - I'll roll for the second. I'll just do it over here. And then nine plus 10, 19. - Both hit. Go ahead and roll damage for both. - Cool. That is 2d4 plus 10. Jesus. - Concentrated damage so that it's on his hands or something. - Sure. Yeah, can I just, like, aim for those hands? - Yeah! For sure. Absolutely. - Okay. Ooh! That is eight. - Jesus! - Oh no, sorry. Eight plus 10. - These two, yes, 18. These two elves that are hanging on in this horrifying gravity bubble that the queen of spiders has made look up as you approach, and they can't even defend themselves. They're literally upside down. - No, no, no, no, no, no! - And just ax, ax! And then J'er'em'ih goes (squeals), and you see that there's very slowly and painfully for J'er'em'ih, two bone spikes emerge from the pupils of his eyes. And he goes and injects them into the bottom elf. The elf turns sour green and starts just Violet Beauregard swell. It goes, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. Boom! Bursts, explodes into slime. And this elf is flung up and smashes into a stalactite and is dead. - Okay. And then I think, I guess I haven't moved. Most everyone else is cleared except for-- - Except for him. - Don't worry, I've got this! And I'm coming to help all of you! - Okay. I don't, would it be, Maggie, would it be... I don't know how big your-- - To prevent me from falling in the lava? - I was gonna see if I suggest that the-- - I was going to ask-- - Lava Mog maybe try to catch Maggie. - Oh, cool. - My Dexterity is two, and I have advantage-- - Cool, the Lava Mog, awesome, the Lava Mog can definitely, that's a simple command. - Okay. - To catch Maggie. - I will ask Lava Mog to catch Maggie. - I was planning something but if the Lava Mog's got that then-- - Then I guess I'll move. I don't know. Back the way I came. - Sure! - Sure. Yeah, I'll just head, yeah, thank you. - Yeah, take 40 down there. - Yeah. - You guys see Stalker manage, he's on death's door but manage to leap out and jumps onto the forge over here away from the Lava Mog. Badly, badly hurt. Partially eaten. He goes thanks for saving my life. - Shut up! (laughing) - But you're my baby. - No, no. I know, but just don't tell anybody I did this! This is going to, we're going to have to act this very precisely. And I'm going to need you to just summon every bit of intelligence that you have to pull this off. - You're embarrassed about me for your work friends. - Well, now hold on. Hold on now. I did not say that. I'm saying we're going to have to play this carefully because you see the kind of company I keep. - Smells hot in here. (laughing) - Percival, snap back. Yeah, yeah. - Okay. - I know you've been burned. Badly burned. Stay right here with me. Okay, just pretend that you hate me right now. But follow my lead. - I don't though. I love you. - Okay, like, just change the dialogue full 180 actually. - Okay, all right. - So let's practice. - I love me. - Say I hate you so-- - I hate me. - I hate you-- - Okay. I'm gonna go-- - No, no. Stay right here! I grab his cloak. - Markus, you return! (cheering) Blam. Right where the eagle grabbed you or right where you grabbed the eagle, I should say. Eagle flies back and goes, shit, okay, well. Looks like I made the right move. (laughing) He drops you off. Yeah, Markus, that's your turn. - Oh my gosh! What happened! Where's the wizard? I thought you, okay, he's hurt, he made it down to you. But he's on, like, lava. - There was a lot of gravity that went sideways, if you will. - Oh, Leiland's still fighting the-- - Markus, looks like Leiland needs help. Looks like Leiland needs some help. - I got this! (overlapping shouting) - So I rush down to help Leiland. - Oh please! Oh please make the killing blow. (laughing) - Go ahead and make your attack. Are you going to, like-- - Is he able to get through? I wonder if you're able to get through Leiland. You might have to make some kind of Athletics or Acrobatics check. - Oh, yeah. I was thinking Acrobatics. I'm gonna flip over Leiland and to the side. - Give me Acrobatics check. - 17 with four. That's gonna be 21. - You full swashbuckle leap over Leiland and land, ahhh! - You did it. - You did it. Cool. And go ahead and roll your attack. - All right. Time to get sneaky. I roll a 24. - 24 hits, all right. - Yeah! Please, please, please. - All right. Re-roll that. All right, so that is going to be 10. 20. 29 plus six. So that's gonna be 35. - Leiland. Clang clang clang! The pan spins your helmet around on your undead head, so you're looking in the back of your helmet. And you feel someone push off your shoulders. Everyone sees Markus St. Vincent, like, full acrobatic like, ballet dancer and land like, three point landing on the knee with your short sword, Fog of War. Boom! Directly through the upper shoulder. Galfast, into her heart. And Galfast falls. - Okay. As she's falling, I use Fog of War to come down here. And when Leiland turns his helmet around, you did it! You did it! You killed-- - Awww! - You killed her! - Wow! (overlapping chatter) - Great job, Leiland. You really did it there, yes. - She ran right into your sword. You had it in just some crazy right position. - It was perfect that your helmet was backwards because-- - Oh yeah! - Yeah, I mean. - You say while plummeting from the sky. So it was equally as impressive as Maggie's thing. We all saw it. - It was very good. - Sees the dead, he goes, I will tear your, now onto you Ka-sa-ra! - Just take the win where you can. - I just stab the body. (overlapping chatting) - You see that, Maggie, you land from your incredible defeat of Ka-sa-ra. And a crab claw catches you and, weird lava tentacle comes and, like, smooches you on the-- - Ooh! - And brings you back down. We'll go to Lilith! You've got these badly injured elves up in your bubble. - Are they still floating? - They're still floating, yeah. Minimum damage on falling down from that height. They're all fucking toast. They, like, fall off. Smash skulls into the stone. And you guys, one second. And you lieutenants-- - You want your? - Oh, yes. I'll take Galfast there. Lieutenants of the Bloodkeep, the anvil is restored. You are victorious! (cheering) Forces of Light are defeated. The anvil is back in front of you. - Then I, can I try to get him to roleplay with me so it seems like some natural form of him joining the team? - Make an Insight check. - Okay. Nine. - Yeah, he can get a roleplay with you. You can get a roleplay. If you see, actually, that Stalker walks up to Galfast, who has just been killed. And you see that he does not heal Galfast but does cast Spare the Dying, so you now have an unconscious Galfast here with you that he proceeds to start tying up and restraining with rope. - She's still alive. Sounds about right. - Yes, almost. Almost there. Now, Stalker, about this business of us divorcing. - You don't wanna be my wife? - Well, remember all of the divorce papers I've sent you? - No. - Well, okay. So now you're going to sign them because I hate you. - Okay. Okay. Which part is the lie? - Wait, okay, wait. - Is there a lie? - No, there's not! There's no lie. Sign the papers, and we'll divorce right now. - I don't know how to write my name down. - Okay. Right, right, right, okay. What do you-- - What a catch. - What do you want? King of men and elves and dwarves. - Okay, I, well, you stabbed up the little gal real good. So I thought I'd put some, you can make a poultice out of, you know, plants. You got rooms and there's secret health medicine. - Wait! Wait! Are you suggesting that you join our team? - Yep. - Okay. Well, it looks like we have a new team member. And he and I are king-- - Whoa whoa whoa! Pump the brakes on this. This guy who just stabbed me three times, made me have to fly up, make a good sum of my money-- - Now-- - To share with that eagle up there who I am assuming is gonna stick with us. - Well-- - He looks down and says, I got your back. - Well, now we can use all the allies we can get. And the rightful king of Teer-ee-ath on our side is quite an asset. Efink, may have a word with him, please? - Yes. - You see that, as you pull Efink aside and you look down at this Halfling with multiple stab wounds that you've literally put into her torso. And then-- - Well, Leiland didn't. - And then this guy, Stalker, holding her now with a little bit of this, like, Elven medicine. Ointment ranger stuff on her. You see, like, a sort of pale, deathly glow. Blood starts to flow again. You have a vision of far off Rock-land and that threat of picnics. Maggie, you see that, all around, you see that a bunch of Lilith's kids go, Maggie, that was awesome! You're a badass! - That's so sweet! Thank you! - You see that the giant eagle sort of hops over to you and says, look, now that we're out of the fight, you and me gotta talk about percentages and something real. - Okay. You put an 's' after percentage, which means like, so are you, I mean, are you joining the crew? - I mean, I wanna know what we're making on this job. And I wanna know the other jobs that depend on this 'cause I wanna get a cut out of the back end of those as well. - Oh, oh, oh, whoa. Okay, we gon' talk. But this is gonna be a more formal discussion. I don't want no handshake deals that you can back out of. - Handshake deal? We had a talon shake deal, my man. You were talking a lot when we were-- - That deal stands! That deal stands! You know, you will get your golden nest or what-have-you. But, you know, this other backend deal stuff. I mean, but if, in the realm of golden nests, I got you. - And you see, as you and the giant eagle start to quibble over cost, you see that the Lava Mog turns over to you, Sokhbarr, and scratches your turtle shell with these giant claws. And she goes and split open, and a tiny little bundle of clawed little gooey blobs start to spill out into the lava-- - Two births in one day. - This is, indeed, a blessed occasion. - And with that, we'll catch you guys next week on Escape from the Bloodkeep. Thanks for tuning in. (applause) - Oh man. - We back, baby! We'll be back! - Storm the Bloodkeep! Find the traitors! - I push him into the ground. - You're not gonna downplay the cool ass shit that I did! - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - Shopping trip! - Gobblepants, Gobblepants! - I just need you to help forging a new crown. - Maybe next time that'll be the first thing out of your mouth. - That was the most intense thing I've ever seen. That was amazing!

Channel: Dimension 20

Views: 570,661

Rating: 4.9696622 out of 5

Keywords: matthew mercer, rekha shankar, amy vorpahl, mike trapp, erika ishii, ify nwadiwe, Escape From the Bloodkeep, Dimension 20, matt mercer, john feathers, dimension 20 full episodes, dimension 20 free, dropout full episodes, matt mercer dnd, brennan lee mulligan, brennan lee mulligan collegehumor, lord of the rings, lord of the rings dnd, mordor, mount doom, lord of the rings parody

Id: QU45vh8K6_c

Length: 132min 56sec (7976 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 07 2020