A New York Wedding (Ep. 5) | The Unsleeping City

- [Em] The Angel of the Waters. The fountain of purification and healing where all things can be born anew. That's what dreams are. They're the one thing that connects us all. - Your desire to understand the thoughts of this being have awoken it from whatever was binding it. - Fuck, yeah. - I wanna take out my little hairstyling comb and start going at these tails, trying to get the tails out. (group groaning) (Brennan yelling) - [Rat King] Our tail! Our tail! (rats squeaking) - [Rats] Our tails! - My children! You have a new fuckin' non-douchebag king now! - The Rat King defeated, you hold his crown in your hands. - [Em] Something came and tore me off. The Rat King was there and he dragged me away, but- - But it wasn't the Rat King? - Something else did it? - [Em] No. To tear me off of that fountain, you would need powerful magic. - What were we doing? The wedding! (all laughing) (mysterious, ethereal music) - Welcome back to "The Unsleeping City"! My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan. Here are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes! - [Group] Hi, intrepid heroes! - Oh, gosh! Last we left our brave adventurers off, they were deep in a cistern, covered in grime and mold and muck, fighting against the Rat King himself! Being victorious over the Rat King, now holding the crown of the Rat King, you guys liberated Em, the Angel of the Waters, the statue of Bethesda Fountain. - That's my girl. - Your girl, who cleans you guys off, heals you. Incredible bit of dream magic from Pete, waking Em up. And she flew off back to Bethesda Fountain. You guys are in your nice wedding duds, drenched but sweet-smelling with a little bit of help from Em, (Ally laughing) purifying you guys of all the filth and shit and piss. What do you guys do, here in the sewers? - Erm... - Wait. Let's take a look at this crown. Is this crown... - Yeah. - Yeah. I think I was wearing it. - Oh, right. - Yeah, you guys want to, uh... Hey, let's check it out. What is it? - You can keep wearing it. I mean, you seem like you're- - Yeah, you guys wanna... I'm little. You guys can just look at my head. Look at my head. What is this thing? - Kingston, Kingston. Weren't you talking about that guy who puts valuable things up his butt? - Oh. - Oh. - Yeah. - It's fine. - It's that guy who comes in here all the time. Yeah, there's a guy who comes in the hospital a lot who puts stuff up his butt, yeah. - I'm saying, we could- - Do you think it came out of his butt? (Emily laughing) - I don't think you could fit a crown up there. - That's not my point! My point is, maybe he might have some perspective on... - Lowell? - Yeah. - You guys wanna (laughing) talk to Lowell? - Do a Wisdom check or something on it? - You wanna do an Insight check onto the crown? - Yeah. - Be my guest. - Sweet. (dice clattering) Ooh, 24. (Emily laughing) - 24, very cool. Murph, do you have the card over there? - I do. - You get a bead on this and get the sense that yes, this is a magical crown. Whether or not it's been up a single individual's butthole (Emily laughing) is hard to say. - Right. All right. - In all likelihood, given the state of wear and tear on the crown, this thing could've been up any number of buttholes. - Um, I used to do colonics at the salon. Can I do an Insight check (laughing) to see if it's been- - I'm sorry. Your salon offers colonics? - I was just trying to see if it was magic, but do you wanna see if it's... - It is. It is very magic. - Got it. - Yes. - Hey, can we get out of this dirty-ass sewer? (Emily laughing) - I concur. - We can have this conversation up- - There might be some more cool stuff. I just start going through it. - Okay. (all clamoring) - Let's go. I can't breathe. - Oh my god. - All of you guys head tromping out of the sewers. You arrive back, having been dried off through the long period of coming down through the sewers, maybe a little bit of magic here and there to help, 'cause you get out and it is freezing cold. The sun has since set. - Fuck. - It is December in New York. Little strips of snow hang out here and there, but snow often doesn't hang around even if it stays cold in New York for very long. You arrive in the manhole cover that you exited from back near the Ramble where you can presume that the reception for the wedding is just beginning, and you see Bethesda Fountain cracked in half. (Emily gasping) There is a blasted streak of soot and ash across it, and you see Em there on her knees, looking at the fountain, tears running down her face. - I mean, I run to help her. I say, you know what, honestly, I have fixed worse hairdos than this. - You see she laughs a little bit to herself and says... - [Em] I, I don't understand. I've guarded this fountain since it was put here at the beginning of the park. I was the Guardian of the Waters. I was with the Rat King the whole time. It couldn't have been him. - Why did you have to guard it to begin with? Who would you be protecting it from? - (sighs) She looks round and says- - [Em] New York can be a tough city. There are a lot of odds stacked against the average person here. This fountain represented a change in the course of the city, both in terms of I was modeled to look like, you know... - A million bucks. - [Em] Thanks. (Emily laughing) - You see she says- - [Em] I was modeled after a washerwoman, not a member of the aristocracy. This place was supposed to be a fountain to bring people joy. I was supposed to guard the healing waters here, and... You know, they hired a woman to design me. That's a big deal, I mean- - You can tell. You can tell. You've got a woman's touch. - [Em] It's a touch. I agree. I appreciate that. - That's awesome. (Emily laughing) - [Em] You a feminist? - Yeah, I think that's great. (Emily laughing) I am feminist. - I definitely have to interrupt this. Um, okay. (others laughing) So, you said healing waters. What was the significance? 'Cause remember I had that vision where the baby told me- - The gray baby. - That people come here with dreams. Everyone came here with a dream. Is this- - Oh, darling. People have been coming here with dreams for 400 years. - Yeah, that's true. - What year did the Bethesda Fountain get installed? - One second. (others laughing) - Just gonna put you on the spot real quick. - Yeah. What are you made out of? - I can tell you- - What, specifically, is the type of stone? - The reason I'm asking. I can tell you the reason I'm asking, 'cause maybe you don't even need to- - [Em] I actually do know, and it was 1864. - 1864. How old are you? - 1864. - A lady never... (Siobhan mumbling) - [Em] Sofia! - I'm... - Excuse you, yeah. - We're all comfortable here! I'll say how old I am. - I mean, look. Was I here in 1864? Sure, absolutely. - Do you remember it getting installed? (Siobhan stammering) - Is there a- - After so many lifetimes, one just forgets. - You see that Em says- - [Em] The point I'm trying to make is this. To answer your question, the waters that were put here were meant to be a source of divine magic in the city, and any time you have a city like New York that's very cosmopolitan, it tends to tap into a divinity that is neutral, for everybody. And there are ways to abuse that if you're not careful. These waters are not only about healing. They're also about purification. People can come here and anoint themselves, start a new life. I can't tell you how many times someone's walked through this park and come by this fountain and decided to turn around for the better. But in a concentrated dose, it could also be used to purify, I don't know. Anything. - Whoa. - Like something evil? - Like someone who was on the naughty list. - Someone who escaped. Can I do an Insight check to look for clues around this fucked-up fountain? - Yeah, go for it. (dice clattering) - I'd also like to do that. - What was that face you made when I said naughty list? - I got a 25. Insight. - 25? Hell yeah. You scoop some of the soot off of the thing. You've been around a long time. Smell it. This soot (Emily laughing) is not burned stone or wood. This is old, cremated flesh. - Jesus Christ. (Emily gasping) (Siobhan clearing throat) - Er, Kugrash? - Hey. (Brennan laughing) Oh, hey. What's that? - This is a person. - Oh. - This is the cremated remains of a- (voices overlapping) - Oh my god. A ritual! - Somebody like a felon? - I take out a bunch of bags of coke and dump them out and then I collect some of these remains- - Like, respectfully? - Oh! (laughing) - To get a sample. I flip it inside out, and then I- - Oh my god, the ultimate sacrifice! Pete! - I mean, remember, it almost all got ruined. (Emily laughing) In a way, this is all... I mean, do you guys wanna do some? - No! - Are you gonna snort some kind of dead demon person? - No, no! - So that we can test it. - Like evidence, yeah. - Right! - Oh, I thought we were gonna snort it. I was gonna say (laughing) I'll do it with you. - Kugrash, you can have some blow if you want. - I don't want blow. - Honestly, I don't touch the stuff anymore. - (laughing) I kinda wanna know what happens if I snort the guy, I'm sorry. - I don't think that's wise. - What? - I'm a rat. I'm sorry! - That's not a rat thing. (others laughing) It's not. - (laughing) I'm the Rat King, okay? - Hey, gang! Wanted to give a huge shout-out to this episode's sponsor, Reroll. Reroll is an app available on iOS, Android and web browsers that lets you create and customize your D&D characters in pixel art! They have a huge selection of options to create pretty much whatever you have in your mind's eye, and they're adding new armors, items and outfits all the time! We went ahead to see if we could recreate some D20 characters in Reroll, and they turned out pretty nice! But don't take our word for it. Check it out for yourself by going to reroll.co and sign up for an account at once! And now, back to the show! - The point is- (voices overlapping) these are not recent remains. These are the ancient remains of a cremated body. - But maybe we can do some sort of test. - Oh, absolutely. - I don't know. I'm just trying to grab- - I agree. I think this is a good move. I think that's a really good move. - I have, like, three bags of remains. - Young man, I know that you're new to this, but don't you have some kind of Detect Magic as a sorcerer? What, is there something? - Yeah, I do. Should I... (laughing) I can ask to be able to use that, I guess. - Absolutely. You do have Detect Magic, don't you? - I do have Detect Magic. I just don't know how I would... Oh, no, I have Detect Thoughts. - Oh, you don't have- - You don't have Detect Magic. - I don't have Detect Magic. - Maybe I have it. I know I'm not a healer, but maybe that's my magic. - Sofie... - I put my hands on it. - Sofie, your magic is that you're a wonderful person, and you jump really good. (Brennan laughing) - Do I get anything? - Go ahead and roll me a pure luck check. (Emily laughing) (dice clattering) - 14. - Yes! - Hey, you put your hands on there and you hear a whispering. - Oh my god. - Sofie. - Oh my god. - [Em] You should stand up. - And you see Em's talking in your ear. - [Em] You gotta stand up. It's not gonna happen. - Okay. I'm sorry. - [Em] No, you're okay. - I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you, Em. - [Em] It's fine. - Do you want me to just- - I'm not a detect magician. - Go to a hardware store nearby? Maybe we can get this thing patched up. - [Em] The whole fountain? - Yeah, I dunno. I could stay here if you guys... (laughs) - Look... - No? Okay. - My family works in construction. - I think that you could maybe help in some other way. - You see Em looks out and says... - [Em] Look, all of you are too kind to rescue me and then offer to help right here. I can't be here. I have to find a way to get back in touch with the waters. - Can we take you to the reservoir or Washington Square Park or somewhere else like that? - You could always stay at my place. - Do you live in a fountain? - No, I'm on Staten Island. - [Em] I'm gonna go to Washington Square Park. - Great. (Emily laughing) - No-one wants to go to your place, Sofie. I'm really sorry. - The ferry is so quick. - [Em] Well, I can fly, so it's not about that. - Okay, great. (laughs) - [Em] I'm gonna go to Washington Square Park (sighs) to figure something out. Be careful. Be safe out there. - You too. - [Em] Thank you for everything you've done. Something's going on. - Hey, let us know if you need any more help. - [Em] Toots, I knew I could always count on you. (Brennan imitating whooshing) - She takes off into the sky. You hear the faint twinkle of music coming from off in the Ramble as the wedding continues. - Well, I'm going to this wedding. - Let's go to a wedding. - Yeah. - To the wedding. - This is the bread wedding. The pigeons are gonna get offed. I'm predicting it. (Emily laughing) - That's a really good pun. - The bread wedding. - I feel like it didn't get enough attention. - The bread wedding 'cause it's bad for birds to eat bread. Thank you. - Yeah. - I thought it was rice. I thought birds could eat bread. - I think they don't- (voices overlapping) - Kugrash doesn't really get to tell jokes that often. - Yeah, I'm sorry. - Let's let him have this. - I'm a fuckin' rat, Pete. - The bread, I like it. - I'm sorry. - Bread wedding. - Hey, what should I do? I'll just keep it in my bag. - Yeah, hold onto the remains. - I'm worried about my friend Ronald Pigeon. - Is anyone vaguely concerned that we're gonna be going into a wedding we aren't technically invited to with a bag of remains? - We're invited. - No! - It looks like all the other drugs. - We're invited. - I'm invited. - Look. I hold up a bunch of dime bags. - Your coke is really black. - Mm-hmm. - It's really dark coke. - Yeah. (laughs) (Emily laughing) Yeah, it's crazy. - In we go. - Yeah, we're plus-ones to the pigeons. - You guys wander back into the wedding. It's been an hour and a half. The ceremony is fully over, so you guys just dipped on the ceremony (laughing) and are now back here. - Great. - As the reception's starting up, wine's going around, you see as you arrive back at the glade people are now out in the tent. The dance floor is getting cleared out. You see as you enter back in, surrounded by other pixies, they're all hanging out on a mostly-empty hors d'oeuvres tray that an ogre is holding. (Emily laughing) You see that Don Confetti, no longer in the cottage, looks up at you and goes- - [Don Confetti] Oh. It looks like you found your way back to the wedding. Funny. Is it appropriate in your various cultures to say hi at a wedding, leave for the entire ceremony and then come back to enjoy the free food and drink? - Erm, I mean, I'm fascinated that during your daughter's wedding, you were scanning the crowd to see who has in attendance. - Darling, the show must go on! Sometimes things happen, and you have to improvise, and that's what's so exciting about life! - Give me a Persuasion check real quick. - I like her answer better. Ignore mine. (Ally laughing) - I got 20, not nat. - Not nat. You see he goes- - I suppose I don't have an understanding of how you actors and various other hooligans and theater people conduct their business. But you're welcome to avail yourself to all the food and tasty treats here. Many of them are quite small, although, of course, that is to be expected because I and my family are very teeny-tiny. (others laughing) - Teeny-tiny in stature, but big in character and importance. - [Don Confetti] You have spoken truly, Misty Moore, a friend, as always, to the pixies, and the entire Confetti family. Please help yourselves to some cupcakes and also we have, I believe, some cannolis that are being passed around right now. - You do. I'm eating one. (Ally laughing) - [Don Confetti] Oh. It's good, right? We got 'em from Giannello's over in Brooklyn. They do a great cannoli. - Oh, you should try it at Spaghetti's. (others laughing) - [Don Confetti] What is happening in Staten Island? (group laughing) - A bakery named Spaghetti's? - Spaghetti's? - A bakery named Spaghetti's? - Bakery? - [Don Confetti] I'm sorry, I have to raise a point. Isn't your last name just the Italian word for bicycle? (others laughing) - Yeah. Yeah, it is. - [Don Confetti] Woof, y'know what I'm talking about? (others laughing) - Your last name is Confetti! - Watch out, Confetti! - Yeah, your last name is Confetti. - [Don Confetti] You got a problem with my last name? - No, I love your last name! - You guys all hear a ton of- (Brennan imitating guns clicking) There's a bunch of pixies- - Little tiny guns? - (laughing) Little tiny guns that all these pixies cock. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - I take my earrings out. - Everybody- - Let's go. - Everybody- - I use Minor Illusion to throw confetti up into the air. It's a celebration! Your name is a celebration. - [Don Confetti] Ah, the symbol of our name. Beautiful. Confetti. Little pieces of paper to mark a celebration and they get stuck in the street and all the gutters and stuff. (others laughing) All right. Help yourself to the food. - All right. (others laughing) Well, that almost went real south. - Yeah! (all laughing) - Let's not get shot. - Yeah. - That's fair. - Do you bake spaghetti? I don't... (others laughing) - There's a bakery called Spaghetti's. - Joey Spaghetti. - It's really good. - It's honestly not bad. - I'm going to need everybody here to make a Wisdom saving throw. - Uh-oh! - Oh. (dice clattering) (tense music) - 22. - Oof. - 18. (dice clattering) - 18. I get advantage on all Wisdom saving throws. - 17! - Four. - Dual Soul. - Four, gotcha. - 15. - 15. And what did Sofia get? - 17. - Cool, gotcha. - Wow. - Right? - Wise crew. - Wise crew! (laughs) - Here we go! - The too wise crew. - Wise crew. (others laughing) - Can I use a lucky point? - You can use a lucky point if you want. - Okay, great. - Too wise. - Nat one. (others laughing) - We'll go with the eight. (others laughing) Do you get Wisdom advantage... Do you get advantage on all Wisdom saving throws? Or what does it say? - Enchantment and possession? - This is not enchantment, so you do not get advantage- - Oh, okay, 11, and then my Wisdom... - Should I use another lucky point? - [Brennan] Wisdom save. - Plus two. - 13. - 13, gotcha. - It might be something small. - Cool. You guys start hanging out at the wedding. The reception is starting. You guys see that the tent is full. Angela, the bride, is saying hi to everyone. She looks so happy. - Oh, god. - She's got, no shock here, a little pixie cut that comes over one of her eyes. She looks so happy. You see that an announcer, who looks to be this cricket-legged fairy with a little tux jacket on goes- - [Announcer] All right, all right, all right. Let's clear that dance floor for our first dance between the bride and groom. Give it up for Angela Confetti and Ronald Pigeon! (group applauding) - I'm so excited to see what this looks like. (group laughing) - You guys see that Angela steps out on the floor, makes an earnest attempt to start dancing with Ronald, who's about as big as she is (Lou laughing) but Ronald can mostly just pigeon around. He can't really dance. (Ally laughing) So he's just kind of jutting, higgledy-piggledy, over the dance floor, (Murph laughing) and she kind of twirls, and little bits of glitter around her as this happens. - I start trying to palm people different pill cocktails, 'cause that's just how I bond at a wedding. You're gonna need this. - This is reminding me of my first dance with Dale, so I'll take one. - There's a bunch of good stuff in there. There's about five different pills. - I take some pills. (laughs) - You pop some. - No. (laughs) - Here, here. - Anyone who wants to can make a Perception check. - You know I will. (dice clattering) - I don't think I'm very perceptive. - Oh, I got a nat one. - 21! - 23. - 18. - Perception? - Cool. - Where's that? I got 18. - 18? Cool. So, Misty. What's Misty doing here at the reception with a nat one on a Perception? (laughing) - I mean, I'm just drinking champagne, baby. Dancing like this, like a real cool old lady. (others laughing) - Misty, you're having a ball 'cause you're just holding court and making someone else's wedding kind of about yourself. (Emily laughing) - The only one who was invited. (Siobhan laughing) - Are you wearing white? (group laughing) - It's an off-white! It's a cream! (Brennan laughing) - It's glowing. - I would never be so rude! - It's a beautiful dress. - Look, lace is... It's traditional in my family to wear lace to other people's weddings. - Trying to think. Some people got- - 18. - I got 21. - 21? - 23. - I didn't roll. - Go ahead and- - I don't think I'm very perceptive. (laughing) - You're not perceptive. That's totally fine. So, with an 18, what's Ricky up to at the reception? - Ricky was kinda track down the snacks, and then he was also, when they started dancing, just was very curious about that image. (Ally laughing) - Honed in on that. For those that got above a 20, as you guys are just hanging out here, you all begin to notice a lot of different stuff. Kugrash and Kingston, you guys begin to notice that there are a lot of different kinds of people here. In addition to fae, you see that Rourke Redcap is here, who's one head of the faerie mafia. There's some Domovoy, that are Russian faeries, that are over in a corner. There's the band. There seems to be some kind of water nixie spirit. The consigliere, Greg Prickthorn, is here as well. You also are looking around... Are you guys looking for anything in particular, or are you just having a good time? - I think Kugrash is a little concerned about his friend Ronald Pigeon and the other pigeons getting offed by these pixies. So I'm looking to see if anybody's, like... - I think I'm thinking more about all the different things are adding up, so I think there's just a head on a swivel looking for more weird stuff. - Gotcha, cool. Kug, you see that Perry comes over to you and says- - [Perry] (laughs) Hi! (exhales) Looks like the dancing's getting started up in earnest. - (laughs) Yeah. Uh, Perry, as, uh- - [Perry] D'you care to shake a tail feather? (others laughing) - (laughs) Yeah, we can dance. Yeah. I start doing my dance with Perry. (others laughing) I just have a dance. Perry, how have the pixies been treating you? - [Perry] Oh, they've put out so many crumbs and are such good friends. - Yeah? - It's so good to see Ronald, you know. We were all worried for a little while 'cause he had that whole thing with Jessica Pigeon and that was sort of weird for a while. - What was up with Jessica Pigeon? - [Perry] Oh, you know. It's one of those things where they met in college and they sort of fell into a pattern and then they'd gone off and sort of changed as people, but it was kind of like good money after bad. - Yeah, okay. - They'd already sunk so much time into the relationship that as they became more and more incompatible, it just didn't seem to make sense any more. And all of our friends, you know. Nobody wants to be that first person across the river to mention, "Hey, you guys fight more than you get along, "so maybe you guys should think about packing it in. "You're still in your early 20s, you know. "You could actually find another partner, "go out and date around." But it just seems to be that kind of thing where routine and habit, so every day it gets harder against the weight of all the previous experiences to break out of a bad pattern. 'Cause when you're codependent- - I stuff a Xanax in his mouth (others laughing) as I pass by. (Perry coughing) - So much Xanax in one pigeon. (Perry gulping) (Emily laughing) - It was a quarter. It was a quarter of a bar, don't worry. (Perry cooing) (others laughing) - Wow. - Oh, fuck. I'm sorry if I fucked that up. - Perry. - [Perry] Wow! - How does Jessica feel about this wedding? - [Perry] So loose. (Ally snickering) So loose. Everything's good. - You're just good? - [Perry] I'm good. - All right. - (laughs) I'm so sorry, dude. - You idiot. - I thought that I was helping you! I'm sorry! (others laughing) - That's the most I've ever gotten out of Perry! - Ah, fuck! (others laughing) - Perry was so perceptive! (others laughing) - I got some uppers too if you wanna try to counterbalance this. - Oh, my god. Don't make a little cocktail in this tiny creature's body! - Well, you know what? (Emily laughing) Why don't we give him a lot of coffee? That will- - Oh, I got some coffee. I know just what he needs. - [Perry] Hey, man. (Murph laughing) Hey, man, you're beautiful. - Hey, you're beautiful too, Perry. - [Perry] You're beautiful. - You're great. - [Perry] Can you fly? - Uh, no. - Here's an upper. Just give him that. - [Perry] I'm flying right now. (Murph laughing) On the ground. First time. (sighs) Okay, I'm gonna take a walk. I can't be in here anymore. (Murph laughing) - All right. Go on, Perry. Take your drugs away. - [Perry] I can't be around all these people. - Sorry, I'm so sorry, man. (Murph laughing) - Perry leaves. (wings fluttering) Sofia also had a high Perception check. What's Sofia on the lookout for? - Okay, well, Sofia is definitely not in her right mind, 'cause she was witnessing a happy marriage, and it's giving her flashbacks and making her think of Dale. But possibly whatever she got from Pete is helping her to focus on intellectual things rather than emotional things, and she is... The fact that Mario was here is on her mind. - Gotcha, so she's kind of on the bead for how and why Mario got here and what the deal was. - Yeah, I think she's scanning, but then something will catch her eye, and she'll be like, oh my god. It's the same table runner color as ours was. (Brennan laughing) Sofia, get it together! - With a 21, you notice that the pixies partially recognize you. A couple of them kind of make a look. Not in a threatening or intimidating way, but in a way of like, oh, they must know your family. - He did know my last name. - Knew your last name. Exactly. After the bride dances, you see that they announce the father/daughter dance. You see that Don Confetti dances with Angela. You see them there, and see she goes like. - [Angela] Oh, daddy, it's so special on my big special day! - And he goes- - [Don Confetti] Angela. Light of my life. (others laughing) You're the wind under my little butterfly wings. I love you so much. I don't know why you had to marry a pigeon, but know this. If he ever crosses you, he'll be sleeping with the fishes, and by fishes I mean pigeons. (others laughing) They die all the time. They really do die all the time, (others laughing) 'cause they're not very smart or good at surviving. - And you see he says- - [Angela] I love you, daddy. - And they just twirl around a little bit. After that, you see that Angela is actually over near you getting a little drink for herself and catching a little moment, and as she flies past she turns over to you in her little white... It looks like white leaves that have been glued, this very form-fitting little pixie dress. She looks over- - David's Bridal? - [Angela] How did you know? - Oh, I tried that on one. Honestly, I do not have the figure to pull it off like you, though. You look fantastic. - [Angela] I'm not surprised you don't have the figure to pull it off. You're about a hundred times bigger than I am. - Well, yeah, you must've had to get that sized down. A lot. - [Angela] Yeah. It was really expensive. My dad paid for it, but it's okay, 'cause he's a very successful businessman. - Yeah, well, congratulations on your wedding day. Marriage is a beautiful thing. - [Angela] Oh my god, that's so sweet of you to say! Thank you so much. - Yeah. - [Angela] Love your hair, by the way. - Thank you. I do it myself. I know, it's crazy. A lot of aestheticians don't actually work on theirself, but I do. Um, (sighs) so, yeah. I don't know, congratulations. Where are you guys gonna honeymoon? - [Angela] Well, there's a lot of rooftops in the city that have a lot of crumbs on 'em, so that's where Ronald's interested in going. (others laughing) - What about you? I mean, your honeymoon shouldn't just be something that's so specifically for your husband. (others laughing) - [Angela] I think he'll end up going probably anywhere, but every time I've asked, he only mentions these rooftops with crumbs on 'em. - Oh, okay. Well, you should definitely look into Puerto Vallarta. - [Angela] Really? - Yeah. - [Angela] I heard Tulum was really, and a lot of people were going to Tulum. - No, Puerto Vallarta's the most beautiful honeymoon you could ever go on. (Emily's voice cracking) - [Angela] My god, sweetheart. Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. (Emily clearing throat) - [Angela] All right, well, it's my day, so if you're gonna cry, go outside. - Absolutely. - You see that (laughing) she flies away. Yes? - I have a quick question. Was that a Wisdom saving throw that we did? - It was. - Okay, I do get advantage on Wisdom saving throws across the board from my plug bracelet. - Oh, hell yeah, great! - So it isn't Dual Soul, but yeah, yeah. - Gotcha. - So I'm at a 20 or something like that. - Cool. Cool, cool, cool. - I think I'm just trying to sell drugs again. (laughs) - Pete, you actually... A guy comes over to you. You see that it's one of the dryads who's been kind of helping out, almost like a hostess here, comes over and says- - [Dryad] Uh, are you the plug? - Yeah. - And points over to a table on the corner. You look at this table. This table appears to have humans at it. A bunch of humans. They're wearing very formal black suits. You see there's about three guys in black suits. They look very good-looking, pale, sort of sharp, predatory-looking people. There's one woman there who's got a pencil skirt and a black suit top, and you see that there is a much older man who has that vibe that very old businessmen have sometimes of being made of granite, just in how still and assured he is. There's another young woman there with them who's wearing a much more colorful gown, and looks a lot more flush, younger, maybe early 20s. Her mascara is running a little bit as though she's been crying, and you see that the dryad directs you over to their table. - Great. I put on my game face. (Ally and Emily laughing) Beautiful night. - The old man speaks. You see the other younger people nod their head at you. The young woman doesn't make any eye contact with you at all. The older fella looks at you and says- - [Older Man] Beautiful night is right. Lovely out here. I always enjoy New York in the winter. Nights get long and you can't see the stars, but you can feel them out there. - (laughs) Yeah. Totally. Great party. I'm having a great time. You guys having a good time? - [Older Man] We could be having a better time. - I agree. What can I get you? - [Older Man] Well, I think we'll take, let's say, a brick of your finest snow, my young man. - Great. (laughs) All right. - Don't accidentally give them the cremated remains. (others laughing) - Yeah. I'm digging through and trying to separate the full-on ashes. (Emily laughing) Okay, they're all in really dark bags. (Emily laughing) Okay. All right. I pull out a insane amount of blow. (Brennan laughing) - You see that the guy nods to one of the younger people at the table, and this young man hands you crisp, fresh from the bank, notes. - Cool. I don't count 'em. I just am like... (mumbles) - Puts 'em away. You see that the young woman sort of looks up a little bit. The other woman very slim and, again, all business-looking, takes the brick, cuts it open with one of her nails, just- (Brennan imitating bag splitting) and begins to do out some lines, not in front of herself, but in front of the young woman at the table. You see that the older man looks up and says- - [Older Man] Care to do some with us? - I would love to, man. And as I do that, can I cast Subtle Spell with Detect Thoughts on this person by using a sorcery point? - Hell yes. - Okay. - Awesome. - (laughing) Ooh! - Okay. So, Subtle Spell. I don't have to move anything and no-one can tell? - You don't move your mouth. You don't move your hands. Nobody can tell you're casting a spell. - That's so sick. - That is awesome. - Hell yeah. (dice clattering) Rad. (dice rustling) I gotta roll some saves. - Does that mean that they don't have a chance to save against it, 'cause they don't know that it's happening? - They do still save against it. - And this is... Are you casting on the girl that they're giving coke to? - The crying one. Yeah, yeah. - That's a lot of dice. - [Ally] Fuck. - You see- (Brennan imitating magic whooshing) your sense of curiosity begins to move through. You completely glide over all of the people at the table dressed in black, including the old man, but the mind of the young woman opens up to you. You feel yourself split between reading her thoughts and the desire to go deeper. So, you can either read just her surface thoughts, or you can choose to go deeper. If you go deeper, it's gonna require active effort and might fuck up you talking to these guys at the table and give them a chance to notice. - True. Okay. Can I stay in surface thoughts right now while doing lines with them and then wait until it feels like- - Absolutely. You feel the young woman's surface thoughts are going- - [Young Woman] It's not too much longer. It's not too much longer. It's just another year. All you need is another year. You're gonna get out of this. You know there are people that have done this and they're all fine. They got what they needed. - You see that the old man looks up at you and says- - [Older Man] Well, after you, my good man. - Great. I do an insanely long line. (laughing) - You see he looks at you and says- - [Older Man] Jesus Christ! You got a nose on you, kid. What are you, half elephant? My god. (Ally laughing) (older man laughing) - No, it's just such a great night. What do you guys do? You're posted in the corner. Why aren't you out there mingling? - [Older Man] Ah, you know. I'm an associate of Don Confetti. Old business partners. I wouldn't want to take up space on the dance floor. Besides, I got two left feet as it is. - (laughing) Yeah, definitely, you're telling me. You seem like a sports guy. You play anything? - [Older Man] Do I play any sports? I used to play stickball back in the day, but that was a long time ago. - Very cool. Very cool. - He looks over at you and says- - [Older Man] Ah, how about yourself? What's your name, friend? - Oh, I'm Jeffrey. - Jeffrey? Rob. Nice to meet you. - Yeah, great to meet you too. - He looks over at you and says- - [Rob] So, I imagine you're gonna be, what, writing this wedding off on your taxes, huh? (both laughing) - Absolutely. (others laughing) Yeah, yeah. You know what? D'you know what I heard? I heard they're trying to pass some sort of law that's gonna hike up the tax rate for people who are... You know, I believe in trickle-down theory, don't you? - You look, by the way (Emily laughing) and he says- - [Rob] Trickle-down? - He goes- - [Rob] Trickle-down? Reagan was a genius. - (stammering) Right? - [Rob] Reagan was a genius. - I get him, and I try to get him so hyped up on this and then- - [Rob] That man, I mean, what he did for this country- - I go for the deeper thoughts. (all laughing) - You go into her deeper thoughts. As you go into her deeper thoughts, you see that she starts doing lines off the table. The other three young men and the other young woman at the table, who are all very pale, watch her do lines by herself, and you see that all of them start to tap their fingers. As you go deeper into her thoughts, you see other instances of her going out with these guys, doing drugs, the people surrounding her, fangs distending from their mouth, sinking their fangs into her and drinking her blood. - Oh. - Not enough to kill her, but getting her high enough that they can get a high off of drinking her blood. - Okay. - By the way, you do not see the old man drinking blood from her. - Okay. - You see he looks at you and says- - [Rob] Reagan, he was great. I mean, I never voted for him 'cause I'm not a big voting guy, but I donated like crazy to his campaign. - Go ahead and first of all, give me a Wild Magic roll for that Detect Thoughts. - Oh, no. (dice clattering) - Two. (others gasping) - Two. (laughs) - Jesus. - Uh-oh. - Now it's one and two. Now it's one and two. (Ally exclaiming) Jesus. Could you also be kind enough to give me a Deception check? - Oh, cool. I think I have good Deception. Yeah, I have +8, or I... (dice clattering) 19 with, what was Deception? I do plus these? - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, that's 27. (Brennan whooping) (dice clattering) - Rad. So, you see, yeah. He talks to you a little while longer. After the girl's done a couple lines, you see that she looks around, makes eye contact with you as her eyes kind of well up with tears, stands up and walks outside with the other four, and it's just you and the old man, Rob, who are here. You see he looks over at you and says- - [Rob] Well, thanks again for being Johnny on the spot here. - (laughs) Yeah. - And, uh, what was it again? - Jeffrey. - [Rob] Jeffrey, right. (both laughing) Wouldn't wanna say your real name, or, uh. Bubbles'd come out of my mouth, huh? - Help. (all laughing) I do not let him know that that registered with me. I'm like, (laughs) uh, sure, buddy. And then I walk away. - Cool. - Nauseous. (laughs) (others laughing) - Rad. What does Pete do as he walks away? - I'm trying to find other... I'm trying to find Kingston. (laughs) - Cool. You go over to Kingston. Kingston's head's on a swivel. You're looking. (Ally laughing) You've clocked Pete having this interaction. - Do I recognize this man? - You don't recognize this man. - Okay. Pete, what's going on? - What the fuck? Okay, we have to talk, but we can't talk here. - Okay. You wanna dance? (others laughing) - Uh, yeah. (all laughing) Of course I do! - Great. We can dance and talk. - So we're dancing. - Come on, dance! Oh! - This is perfect. - Yeah. - Okay, dude, so, do you see those crazy people over there? - Yeah. - All right. (Emily laughing) So you know the girl who looked really sad? - Uh-huh. - Okay, I detected her thoughts. It seems like those other three really pale people with her are vampires. - Okay. - They make her do a bunch of drugs and then they suck her blood to get high off of her. - Okay, that's not that crazy. - Okay, no! The fucking crazy thing is- - Hey, keep dancing. - This isn't a dance? (Lou laughing) All right. So, you know that older guy? (laughing) - Uh-huh. - Okay. I think that maybe that was my dad. - What? - I'm not sure what happened. Something fucking- - I have never seen that man before. - Okay, my dad is a motherfucking dickhead, and (laughing) he said... Someone helped me by making bubbles come out of his mouth and taking him away. - So he knew what you had done to your father? - This old guy knew what had happened to my dad. - Have you told anyone else about your dad? - I don't know. Who have I... No, I think I told Alejandro about what happened to my dad. I think? I'm not sure. Do you guys remember me telling this story about my dad and the bubbles? - I don't think we've heard this before. - It's cool, though, gotta say. If you can teach me that trick, that's cool. I would do that. - I think I told you guys, because then someone was like, "We can kill him if you want." And I said "Yeah, please go ahead and kill my dad." (Lou laughing) - Somebody in your head? - Yeah. Whoever Lazarus is, someone evil (laughing) did this to me and I let them. - Okay, I don't like this man in the corner. Misty, you got any thoughts? - No, I don't know. - I don't know how I feel about- - Is he still there? - I don't recognize him. Do you recognize him? - Can I look over and see if he's still there? - I feel like I would know everybody at this wedding. - Yes, exactly. I feel like anybody I don't know, I don't like them. - Yeah, you see that he's now speaking. He's talking to Don Confetti over in the corner. They're kind of chatting and laughing with each other. (Ally gasping) - Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! Uh, okay, so I don't know if this is crazy. Okay- - Pete. Pete. - Okay, I gotta keep dancing. (Emily laughing) Okay, so what I think happened is, you guys know how we keep hearing Lazarus's, like, "I'm leaving today"? - Uh-huh. I mean, you keep hearing it, and you keep telling us about it. - Right, right, right, but anyway. So, my dad got carried away because he's a piece of shit and I was fine with it. But what if this Lazarus guy took over his soul or something and then used that fountain to clean it? Something happened with that fountain and cleaning bad people? - I don't know. Misty, do you wanna use your connections with Don Confetti to go over, have him introduce you to this man? - That's a great idea. - [Lou] Wanna try something like that? - Checking in with the other people at the wedding. What are you guys up to? - I guess we'll go join these. We see the whole crew- - I'm wasted and trying to start a conga line. (others laughing) No-one understands what I'm doing. (laughs) - They're all so small. - In that case, I grab Sof. Sof, are you doing okay? - Trying to start a conga line but with their heads. - I'm dancing with my date. She's just sort of on my chest. (others laughing hysterically) - This buff, hot firefighter with a pigeon on his chest! - It's like my necklace. - Incredible. - I'm gonna snap a picture of that and send it to the girls at the salon and be like, "Mr March has a girlfriend." - This is fine. (others laughing) But dancing towards them, yeah. - I go over to that table and I'm like, Don, who's your friend? And I do that old lady creep. (others laughing) - Oh, yeah! - Arm around the waist of this guy. - Cool. Make a Persuasion check for me, if you'd be so kind. - I would love to. - Ooh. - Can we say that you guys filled us in on what you're talking about? - Yeah. - And actually, I'm gonna need you to make that check with disadvantage. - All right. (Emily whistling) That was a 16. (dice clattering) And this is a 13, so 23. - 23. Cool. You slide your arm around the guy. Feels like a human dude. Older, middle-aged kinda human guy. You see that Don Confetti says- - [Don Confetti] Oh, Misty Moore. I'm surprised you have not already met my friend Robert. Robert, please say hi to Misty. - You see that this guy Robert turns to you and says- - [Robert] Ah, Miss Moore. It's a pleasure to meet you. - Oh, charmed, I'm sure! And I give him my hand like this. (Brennan kissing) - Kisses your hand. You see that Don says- - [Don Confetti] Misty is, of course, a very accomplished stage actress. She is very famous. - You see that Robert nods and says- - [Robert] I've seen some of your performances. - Oh! - [Robert] What a knockout. - Thank you so much! It's always great to meet... I don't even like the word fan, but people who enjoy my work. You know, we live in a city of artists. That's why we're here, you know? It's so important to experience so many of the things in the city that people miss out on. So, what do you do? - [Robert] Oh, I work in finance. I'm a friend of the Don's. - Oh, fantastic. You know, finance is also a great hub of the city. We artists, we wouldn't be able to survive without the finance guys. Look, I mean, all of us would love to buy into the starving artist myth where you have to be starving to make art, but let's be realistic. When you have a nice bed, everything's a little easier, you know what I mean? (Lou laughing) - [Robert] And I doubt you've been starving for some time, Miss Moore. - Well, you know. I mean, starving is relative. Broke is relative, you know what I mean? But I do fine. I do fine. - [Robert] (hums) I'm sure. - You see he looks over. The vampires and the young girl, She's bone pale, and kind of having a hard time standing. They come out wiping their mouths, sit back down, and you see that yeah, Robert looks over at you and says- - [Robert] Well, you'll have to excuse me. It looks like the other vampires have come back. - And he turns around and walks away from you. - It's been a pleasure. - Don looks over and says- - [Don Confetti] Yes, it has been a pleasure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and verbally harass the DJ because he's playing a bunch of duds, and these songs, they're too hard to dance to. I will be right back. - Don, you've gotta come dance with me, though. - [Don Confetti] I will do what I can, but know this. I only do this because you have asked this favor of me on the day of my daughter's wedding. (others laughing) - He- (Brennan imitating whooshing) zips away. - Can I- - Did I use up my favor? (laughing) I could've had anything in the world. (Ally laughing) - Can I... I feel like I've heard that something's gone on with this girl. It looks really predatory, her surrounded by these dudes and her looking faint. I think as a woman in her 30s, I'm looking at her being like, I would like to try to help her out. I feel maternal towards her. So (laughing) I'm gonna go over there and just say, I'm so sorry. I need help getting out of this dress to pee. Do you guys mind if I borrow this sweet girl? I just need... (Ally laughing) It's such a nightmare getting out of this dress to pee, so I just need a friend in the bathroom. - You see the young woman looks up at you and looks at the other people here and says- - [Young Woman] I'm so sorry, I'm fine, thank you. (tense, ominous music) - Oh, yeah, I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me and peeing, and- - Give me a Persuasion check. (dice clattering) - 10. (others laughing) - Ah, yeah. You see that she looks and says- - [Young Woman] I'm fine, thanks. - Pete, are you still reading her mind? - Mm-hmm. Or, wait. Well, am I? - Yeah, I believe probably you are. - You read in her mind that she actually doesn't want to leave the table. She feels afraid and shitty and fucked up, but is also choosing to be here in some regard or another. - Okay, cool. I think I go up to Sof, and I'm like, did I overhear you need some help in the bathroom? - Yes. - They're gender neutral at this wedding. I can go with you. - Okay, great. That'd be so helpful, thank you so much. If you ever need a haircut, you have beautiful hair. And I give her my business card. - Can you give me a Deception check as well? (dice clattering) - A nine. (dice clattering) - You see that Robert speaks up and says- - [Robert] Now, forgive me for being blunt, but you folks aren't worried for the safety of my companion Melissa here, are you? - Okay, I'm just gonna lay it out there. First off, I'm a little drunk because I'm going through a divorce and it's hard to be at a wedding. Second off, if I see a young woman surrounded by men who's looking a little sick to her stomach at a place where alcohol is being imbibed at an alarming rate, I'm gonna step in and make sure she didn't get roofied. - You see he nods, looks around, and you see he says- - [Robert] Melissa, you're free to go, if you wanna go. - She looks over at him and says- - [Melissa] I don't wanna go. - I pop in like, she looks like she's having a great time! You guys look like you're having a great... Sofie. - Sorry! I just wanted to make sure someone didn't get roofied. - And we need more strong women like you. Right? - Thank you. Now will you help me- - Now, let's move on to the next girl- - Get out of my dress so I can pee? - Yeah, of course! Of course! - And Robert says- - [Robert] While we're handing out business cards. Jeffrey, you ever want to talk... - And you see hands you a business card. His name doesn't appear on it, but it has a address and the name of a prominent hedge fund on it. - It doesn't say Robert. - Does not say Robert. - Oh, the hedge fund... - It's like a business's business card. Doesn't have his name on it. - Um. - Do either of you have Detect Good and Evil? - I do not. - I have Protection from that. - Oh, you have Protection but not Detect? - Feel like I had that but I don't have it- - I mean, they're vampires. They're bad, right? - Yeah. - I think I'm really triggered by the bubbles comment still, with my dad, and I'm just kind of seething. I don't know what I'm doing, but I know I'm angry. - That interaction shook me back into place. I'm not longer as upset about the wedding. - I'm explaining to you all the Detect Thoughts stuff and how she actually wanted to be there. So there's some sort of weird setup. - Is Kugrash watching this? - Yeah. I think we're all kind of circled up. I think once these guys started dancing I think we all kind of came together, and then over here. - Cool. You look at this guy Robert. You've met this guy before. - What? - You met this guy a long time ago. - What do I know about him? - You know that he's a very powerful, very dangerous guy who you only met in passing one time. - Okay. Does he know Gabriela? Okay. - Who's Gabriela? - Eh, you know, it doesn't matter. - (indistinct). - This guy is bad news. - Okay, I have a theory. I have a theory based off of what Pete said. They're laundering souls and selling them to the soulless. (intense, ominous music) - What? - That's kind of brilliant. - So intense. - That's what I think they're doing. I think they're stealing souls and then cleaning them in the Bethesda Fountain and then selling them to people who don't have souls. - Like vampires. - Like selling passports. - Yeah. - Oh. I'm so... I don't know if this is too ridey about this, but I think I'm so worked up about this Robert guy and he knows something about my dad and I'm talking to them. I'm like, that fucking guy knows something about my dad! And when I point, I activate True Strike. (Brennan laughing) Is that possible? - Awesome, yeah. That's great. - 'Cause I know it takes a whole turn. - Roll Wild Magic for me. - Fuck. Okay. - One and two? - One and two now. (dice clattering) - Six. (others cheering) - All right, everybody, let's get Pete, let's calm down-. - Okay, all right. Yeah, I'm fucked- - Let's everybody- - Shall we... We about ready to go, right? - Yeah. (Ally laughing) - That's true. We are depleted. We already had a battle today. - Does he look the same as he did back then? - He does, yep. - (hums) That's... (laughs) - He's a vampire. - But in your story, you said you didn't see him drinking the blood. It was the other three. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. So this guy, I think- - They're doing it to get high. - I think this guy- - He's a businessman. - You guys are, by the way, talking very loudly at the wedding right now. - Hey, why don't we go back to my place, all right? I think- - Okay, yeah, yeah. - Hey, macarena. Oi! (others laughing) - We grab her. (others laughing) - You guys bounce from the- - As we leave, I just wanna write a really long, really heartfelt, way too intimate thing in the wedding book. (laughs) (Ally laughing) - The guest book? - Take the wedding book. - Yeah. - Take the wedding book. - Oh, yeah, take it! Take the wedding book. - Okay, well, you guys can take me. I'm writing. I'm still writing in the- - Don't get us killed for a wedding book. - No, I'm writing about the beauty of marriage. (Brennan laughing) - Can I leave a $50 check as a gift? (Emily laughing) - Absolutely, you may, yes. - Yeah, I also would like to leave a- - I wanna just give a head nod or a little salute to that guy to see how he reacts to me. (dice clattering) - He has no recognition of you at all and looks very confused. - Okay. - I leave a couple tickets for opening night of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". That's my gift. - Do you just carry those around on you? - Always be promoting! - I add my name to her card. (others laughing) - A Kugrash paw? - Also from me. - I ask the wedding planner if there's another guest book 'cause I've filled this one up. (others laughing) - You guys proceed to bounce. You see that as you're all getting ready to leave, Perry comes over to you, Kugrash. - [Perry] Hey! Uh, what's going on? - Hey. - Ooh. - Uh, we gotta head out. (soft, sad music) (others laughing) God damn it. I kiss him. (all laughing) - [Perry] Wow! Wow, wow, wow! (Brennan imitating fluttering) - Bye, Perry. - They're making out. We're like, Kugrash, we gotta go. - Incredible. - Oh my god. I adjust my contact so I can see better. - I know I'm leading him on, but I just... I feel like we got a short-term... - Sometimes you gotta do the nice thing, not the right thing. - Right, yeah. (Emily laughing) - Do vampires show up in photographs? 'Cause they don't show up in mirrors. - I don't think they do. - Do vampires show up in photographs? - I don't think they show up in photographs, no. - Great, so can we take a selfie with the vampires and Robert in the background? - Yes. - Yeah! (Emily cheering) - A photo booth photo? - To see if Robert's a vampire? That's brilliant. - Esther, this is me at the wedding... (others laughing) - Don't send it to anyone! - Oh. Sorry. And then I look at the picture. - At that table, Melissa shows up, the young woman, and Robert shows up. - Oh, okay, okay. - He does show up. - All right, everybody. Back to my house. Let's go. - Yeah, okay. - You guys dip. Arriving back at Kingston's, what do you guys do when you get there? - Fuck that guy. - Do you have any- - Do you think your mother has any cinnamon rolls baking or some kind of- - My mother... What time is it? - It's probably like 11 o'clock at night. - My mother should be in bed. I promise you if I went down there and asked for cinnamon rolls, she would wake up and cook them promptly. But we're not doing that. - Do you have any deli meats or anything? I just sort of snacked on tiny pixie food. - What do I have in my (laughs)... I feel like I have a bunch of fresh vegetables. Can I make- - You can make a big salad. Yeah. - Yeah, I'll make a... (laughing) I make a big salad. (others laughing) Lots of baby spinach. I chop up some tomatoes, some bell peppers. - You go to the farmer's market for this? - Of course I go to the farmer's market. I'm all about celebrating, yeah. I'm local. - I'm on your page. I start making some hummus in a food processor with you. (food processor whirring) - Yeah, we're all just cooking. We're all wet, in nice clothes, cooking. - I'm making eggplant rollatini! (Ally cheering) - It's just us three bumping elbows in the kitchen. - Go to Queens for this mozzarella? It's delicious! - I mean, of course. Only the best. - Can I just, as a precaution, use Divine Sense to see if there's any... (magic shimmering) - You scan the place. No, Kingston's apartment seems okay. You do detect a very strong undead presence on the top of the refrigerator. - It's the mummy, all right? It's just the mummy, all right? - You have a mummy? - What? - Is this what the obsidian ankh is about? - Yes, yes. It's from when we fought the mummy back in the 90s, you know? - Oh, darlings. It was so much fun. - What? - The stories we have. - Yeah, it was wild. - I have nightmares really easily. What? What? - Well, if you have nightmares easily. Shouldn't we not tell you about the scary thing we did? - Yeah, let's not tell him about the scary thing that we did! Anyway, the Metropolitan Museum has so much fascinating stuff in it, and it's free to... I mean, it's not free, it's suggested donation, but if you pay for the Metropolitan Museum, you're a goddamn fool. - The Met isn't free any more. They changed it, it's $25. - I have my phone out and I'm doing a little seven-minute workout. (all laughing) - Great. - Okay, great. Everybody's settled. We got salad on the table. - Oh, my. - Eggplant rollatinis, some fresh-made hummus. - Amazing. - What's going on? - This guy, I know this guy from the 80s, and he hasn't aged, so- - Okay. - Whether or not he's a vampire, he's something. - May I ask you, Misty... And before when I mentioned your age- - I'm doing this. - I was... Before, I was scolded at by a man who tried to snort human remains, so, you know, let's let that sit with everyone. But are you a vampire, or is there a way to be immortal- - Darling, I'm a faerie. - So is Ronald possibly a faerie? - Now see- - Robert. - Robert. - It's possible, but I have never met this man before in my life, and the faerie community in New York City is pretty tight. - Okay. - I mean, look. I'm friends with Don Confetti, and that guy's not a great dude, but he's one of my people, you know? You've got to stick together. - I see. - Kugrash, I hate to pin it to you, man, but you know this guy from the 80s how? (Murph stammering) - He hangs out around humans. I don't think he hangs out around this type. I think he hangs out in the real world. - I feel like you're not telling us something. - Yeah. - So. - In what context did you meet him? Did you, I don't know, get caught in a rat trap in his apartment? - Oh, okay, let's not be rude. - Yeah, let's not- - Oh, I mean... - Was that rude? I'm on your page there, sorry. - I'm apparently- - Kug, we're not trying to put you in a space you don't wanna be put in, but this seems to be- - I wasn't always a rat. (Ally gasping) - What? - What? - I wasn't always a rat. - You chose to be a rat? - I didn't. - From what? - Were you a parrot or a turtle? - No, I was a human. I was a guy. - What? - What? - You were a dude named Kugrash? - That is exactly what my question was! - Who names their child Kugrash? - My name is not... - Were you a stockbroker? - Yeah. - Really? (laughs) - What was your name? What'd your name used to be? - My name, my real name, um, is Bruce. - What? - Bruce what? - Kugrich. - Okay, I Google. Can I go on Google and search Bruce Kugrich? - Yeah, go ahead and make a Investigate check. - This is huge for me right now. - This is crazy. - The idea that I'm looking at a rat man that used to be a full man named Bruce? - And he's wearing a crown? - I got a four. (laughing) Is there another Bruce Kugrich? - There's an extremely successful (group laughing) movie horse breeder named Bruce Kugrich out in Los- - Movie horse breeder? - He breeds horses for movies, like show horses. - I show everyone. Oh my god. You breeded horses? - That's why you're good with animals. - No, I don't- - This all makes sense. - How do you get into that kind of job? (others laughing) It would have to be your parents or something. - Gotta be a family job, right, horse breeding? - Wow. - Movie horse breeding? - The point is, I'm Kugrash now. But I knew this man in my old life. - I'm a drug dealer, man. It's fine. Just tell us everything about who you used to be and how you knew this guy. (others laughing) - Yeah. - I... You know, that part of my life is behind me. I was- - Look, darling. We've all had different lives. - Yeah. - Let me tell you about my good friend, John Wilkes Booth. (Murph laughing) He was a fabulous actor. (others groaning) Fabulous! - That's a big drop. - Okay. - I'll say it wasn't as bad as John Wilkes Booth. (others laughing) - If we're all admitting secrets, I wasn't always a firefighter. (Brennan laughing) - Okay, there's no way this is- - I was in high school, and then after high school I became a firefighter. - That's not a secret. - Wow. - That's just a normal life. - You've lived, is what you're saying. - Are your two phases just high school and firefighter? - And then firefighter. - Or are you leaving something else out? - And community college for a year and a half. - You get a text on your phone, Ricky, from Esther. It says, "At Clinton Hill Chantry with Alejandro. "We may have found something. "Are you with Pete?" - I text, "That's awesome. "With Pete right now. How are you? "Yeah, sorry, go ahead." (phone buzzing) - This text back says, "If all of you guys are there, "you should come here at your nearest convenience. "You can come tonight if you need to, or tomorrow." - I mean, I'm pretty tired. - I just made this big salad. (group laughing) - Honestly, I've got so much rollatini in me. (laughing) - I'm worried. I wonder if we can go tonight or tomorrow, but I don't know, I have a bad feeling. (laughs) - Yeah, I kinda do too. - Let's go. - All right, let's go. - Let's go tonight. - Salad and hummus and rollatini to go? - I'll get the tupperware! - Great. - Cool. It's, like, midnight. You guys hop on the subway to head all the way- - I'm hopped up on coke, so- (Ally laughing) - Yeah. - I'm good to go. - You guys get on the train. You're heading out. It's a long ride from here to Brooklyn. - Can we take a short rest on the train? - Oh, absolutely. You can all take a short rest. - I'm listening to The Prodigy. (laughing) - I just keep stealing looks at Kugrash, trying to imagine what he'd look like as a man. Being like, did he have a big beard? - I have an app that give people makeup and stuff like that. - Yeah, let's do that. (others laughing) Let's do that. Makeover. - I wasn't two feet tall. - I just do a smooth ball on him. (others laughing) - Oh my god. - Wow. - He looked like this. - So handsome. - [Emily and Ally] Wow! - He looked like this. - [Kingston] That just looks like a thumb. - Kug, your cheeks are so rosy. That's crazy. - Yeah, yeah. You know... - Your jaw line is so pronounced. - Wonderful. You guys arrive at the Clinton hill Chantry. Ricky, you're very familiar with this space. You walk up. You see that Frank is there on the front of the door. You see he looks up and goes- - [Frank] Hi there, Ricky Matsui. How's it going, bud? - Uh, pretty good. We just came from a wedding. It was beautiful. - [Frank] Oh, beautiful! Who got hitched? - A pigeon and a little faerie. - [Frank] Beautiful. I love it. (Frank speaking Italian) (Zac laughing) - You see he says- - [Frank] Well, I bet you understand that Esther and Alejandro have been working their butts off in there, so... Oh, got a bunch of new friends. Hello, I'm Frank. I'm a gargoyle. I'm only a head, and I'm living on this door forever. - Solid. - [Frank] That's about me. (Zac laughing) - How's it going, Frank? It's been a while. - [Frank] Oh! Misty! It's good to see you. - Good to see you. Always good to see you, Frank. - [Frank] (sighs) Ah, you know. Well, you look good, I gotta say. By the way, I've been wondering. I wanted to mention something. Do you think you could get tickets for me to come see your show? I can't make it 'cause I'm stuck to this door but I just, you know. - Oh, yeah. Oh, and you know, I was thinking. I have friends who've been looking for an actor to play the part of Jacob Marley's face in "A Christmas Carol", and they've been looking high and low, and I was like, "I know somebody who could do that. "He's perfect for the part!" So I can send your information along to them, if you would like. - [Frank] Oh my god. Would you do that? - Absolutely. For you, absolutely. (Frank spluttering) - [Frank] I can't believe it! Yeah, that'd be great. Jacob Marley, I... (spluttering) "I wear the chains that I forged in life!" - Through acts of greed, absolutely! - Sounds like a play. (others laughing) - Frank is elated. You guys enter into the Clinton Hill Chantry, a much smaller and less metaphysically intense space. This is sort of just a three-story brownstone that is the same size on the inside than it is on the outside, for the most part. You guys walk in. You see the missing glass pane where the Questing Blade popped out. You walk into a large library room. This is one of those library rooms that it's books lining every single wall, and one of those giant tables that is like a study table that could fit, like, 40 people at it in the center. These (blowing) lamps (magic shimmering) shedding golden light over the table. You clearly see Alejandro and Esther, they did not sleep last night. That they have not been asleep since. They've just been here. Books all over the table everywhere, coffee cups everywhere. You see Alejandro's flat cap is off. He's got his shirt rolled up. Esther's the same way. You see that she's got a little thing of coffee in her hand. They both look up. Esther says- - [Esther] (inhaling) Great. You're here. You made it. Awesome. Great, great, great. We may have found something. - Alejandro looks over and says- - [Alejandro] "And there I beheld him, "the aspect of a..." No, sorry. Her. No, no. It. "There I beheld it, an aspect of a gray child, "that I had searched for for many long years. "This being, Nod, the realm and the being, "monarch of the sixth borough, "the child, the Gray Orphan, "the spirit of the Dreaming Realm "beyond the streets of the city I had known." (book slamming) (Emily gasping) - So, the dream world is the sixth borough. (Ally clearing throat) - [Alejandro] This gray baby... - Sorry, what is it called? - [Alejandro] This gray baby. (Emily laughing) - Oh. - Sorry. Sorry, one more time. - [Alejandro] How many languages do you guys all speak? - I speak some French. - Just English and some Spanish- - Can't I just admire it and enjoy it? - Oh, I feel really bad and I pull out- - [Alejandro] I'm just saying, I speak five different languages fluently. I have a bit of an accent, but this gray baby- - It's true. I had him a bunch of Juul stuff that I grabbed when we were at home. - [Alejandro] Oh, wow! - This one's cucumber picante. - [Alejandro] Ooh! - You're gonna fucking love it. (Emily laughing) - This is really good. Honestly, a lot of the flavors come with cucumber, but I'm into it, it's- - Alejandro! What does that gray baby stuff mean? - You see that he does a little Mage Hand thing and replaces the cell in the Juul, puts it in and goes- (Alejandro inhaling) - Alejandro, you know I hate this. You know I hate this. You gonna get popcorn lung. (Juul bubbling) You gonna get popcorn lung, and then what you gonna do about it? - You see that he- (Brennan groaning) goes up, and you see that this... He makes a little smoke Empire State Building with a King Kong on it going like this that sort of floats away. - That's sick. - Amazing. - It is sick, isn't it? - That's sick. - [Alejandro] This gray baby is Nod, the Gray Orphan. This spirit is, to the degree that a realm of chaos such as the realm of Dream can have order, Nod is the spirit of hope and dreams. Nod is sometimes referred to as the monarch of the sixth borough. That you have met Nod is remarkable. Do you remember what the Gray Orphan said to you? - Uh, yeah, yeah. The Gray Orphan said a couple of different things. Once they said, "Everyone who ever came here "had a dream." And... (stammering) I don't know what else they said. - What was the Lazarus thing? - I heard something. - Well, Lazarus- - Esther speaks up and points at Ricky and says- - [Esther] We, by the way, having been combing for Lazarus. The Gray Orphan is never referred to as Lazarus, any time we've been able to find any writings about anything- - I think they're different, yeah. - "Heed the words of Lazarus "before it's too late." - Alejandro sort of twirls his mustache and says- - [Alejandro] We have no found any reference to a Lazarus in the Dreaming. - No, but Lazarus is in the Bible. Could it be the biblical Lazarus? Raised from the dead? - Raised from the dead. I have a question. So, the dream world is referred to as the sixth borough. Is there a time in history, Alejandro or Esther, where the dream world was more tangible or more accessible to the other five boroughs? - You see that Esther nods and says- - [Esther] The dream world becomes extremely active and tangible in the presence of the arrival of a Vox Phantasma. - Also, you can take the L if you go really far. - [Esther] But you have to go all the way to the end. - Past Canarsie. It's long. - Okay. I think I went to- - And I don't think you can do it- - You can't do that anymore. - [Esther] And I think you can't do that on weekends, right? - Yeah, or nights. - It's that weird... It's a shuttle bus situation. - [Esther] Yeah. You can get a shuttle bus, but the shuttle bus can only be seen by the pure of heart, so it's hard. - It's a whole deal. But they do have great, these tiny little buns... I can't remember the name of them. Anyway. It's worth the trip, but just. - Dream buns, okay. - So the baby, do we know... - You see that, yeah, Alejandro looks over at you and says- - [Alejandro] The biblical Lazarus is not a bad place to guess. There are beings within the city that would have some knowledge of these things. - What would happen if you raised someone from the dead? Would they have a soul, or would they be in need of a soul? Perhaps a laundered soul? - Alejandro shrugs and says- - [Alejandro] It depends on the manner of their raising. - If they were raised by infernal or perhaps nefarious means? - [Alejandro] It is possible to consider this, yes. Kingston. (Lou humming) - [Alejandro] There are some beings in the city that are aware of such biblical things. I do not concern myself as much with religion as I do with the study of the arcane, but I'm trying to think of people in the city that would- - Oh, Willy. - Can I show them- - You see he looks at you and says- - [Alejandro] Willy? - The golem. - You see he says- - [Alejandro] The Golem of Williamsburg might know something. - Yeah. - [Alejandro] Yes, this is very true. I think it would be wise... Peter, would you be amenable to perhaps going to sleep on the table here and allowing myself and Esther to keep a watch on you with our third eye while you venture to the Dreaming? - Sure. - [Alejandro] That might be for the best. Something very strange is afoot. - See Esther looks up and says- - [Esther] I don't think going to Willy's a bad idea. I think that makes sense. - Also, Bethesda Fountain has been compromised. We sent the angel down to Washington Square Park, so that's- - Oh, yeah, we have... I don't know if this is for you guys can do this, but we have a bunch of ashes that we recovered of human remains. - Esther takes those, nods. - One of them's cocaine, I made a mistake, but we don't know that. (Emily laughing) - Yeah, you see that Esther takes them, says- - [Esther] I'll take a look into this. For those of you that need to rest, you should go ahead and rest. Pete, if you want to stay with Alejandro. - I think I have to see my brother maybe tomorrow. Did I say I was gonna see him tomorrow? - You didn't specify a time. - Well, I'd like to see him, so I think I'm gonna head back to Staten Island. - Cool. You head back to Staten Island. You're staying in the chantry. What's everybody else doing? - I wanna mention something. I just wanna kind of pull Esther aside for a sec and then be like, uh, hey. I know this is kind of weird, but do you still see your mom? (tense, dark music) Do you talk to your mom? What's she up to? - [Esther] How do you know about my mom? (tense music continues) - Uh, we were friends a long time ago. Is she okay? What is... - Make a Deception... Or if you're trying to be deceptive. (Murph exhaling) - I don't have... No, I don't need to be deceptive. We were friends, but we're not friends any more. - You see she looks at you and says- - [Esther] I haven't seen my mom in a long time. - When was the last time you saw her? (tense music continues) - [Esther] (sighs) Probably when I was, I don't know. Five, six. Even before that she was in and out. - All right. - I walk up, and (laughing) I pull out my phone. Oh, Esther, I was gonna send you this picture from the wedding. It was crazy, it was beautiful, but then we had to fight some rats or something. Uh, but do you guys recognize this guy? This old guy in the picture? (dice clattering) - [Esther] I don't recognize him, but we can take a look. - He was hanging out with some vampires, and... - [Esther] Oh. All right. There's a lot of ground to cover. Ricky, do you wanna stay here with me? - Yeah. I mean, yes. (others laughing) - [Esther] Awesome. It'd be good to have someone here in case anything goes down because we don't know what's gonna happen with Pete. - The rest of you guys, it's getting late and you guys did have a full fight against the Rat King. What are you guys up to? - I'm good to go. I can go see Willy right now. - Cool. You're gonna head to Willy. You're going to Staten Island. - Yeah. - Misty and Kugrash, what are you guys up to? - Yeah, I'm gonna go back to my apartment. I'm gonna probably call my show's director on the way and be like, look, yes, I know I'm missing rehearsal, but this is... Look, darling, I already know the steps. Do it without me! (Emily laughing) Give the understudy a chance to practice. - And I'll go to the tunnels. - You go to the tunnels. - But I wanna let Kug know, if you wanna come. - I appreciate it. Yeah. - Okay. - I'm good. - All right. - Rad. You guys all split up. Go back to your various places. - What was that fucking Wisdom saving throw for? (Brennan laughing) I'm still, like- - Yeah, same. - Who rolled poorly on it? - I got a one. (Emily laughing) - On the Wisdom? - Or, like, a four and then a one, yeah. - Let's see who's the closest to where they're headed. Well, Ricky, you're just staying here. So Ricky and Pete are staying at the Clinton Hill Chantry. You see that Alejandro says- - [Alejandro] All right. We'll get a little pillow for you here, Peter, and we have some sleepytime tea for you. - That's great, I was gonna ask for tea. That's so great, yeah. - [Alejandro] Hey! Simpatico, eh? All right, there you go. (Ally humming) - And you say he says- - [Alejandro] Now, be lulled into slumber. - I pull out Instagram. I'm like, I'm gonna be up for another hour and a half. (Emily laughing) - You see he says- - [Alejandro] No, no, no. Be lulled into- - One eye goes gold. - [Alejandro] Slumber. - I have immune to sleep-related harm. Would this be harm? - You see that he stays there and nothing happens to you. (Emily laughing) And he goes- - [Alejandro] Okay, this is very embarrassing for me, because that always kinda works. - I'm just liking everything. - He says- - [Alejandro] Okay, I'm gonna try a little harder. (straining) Go to sleep! (others laughing) - You see Esther says- - [Esther] Let's leave him. Let's leave this. - Yeah, okay. - Esther starts walking around with you in the chantry. You're spending some one-on-one time, just downtime with Esther. What's going on in Ricky's head right now? - Just you know, like, this is my shot, kind of. (others laughing) Just like, she's so cool. I'm just thinking of trying to sound cool. So he's like, man, there's a lot of books in here. I mean, I like to read too. We have some time in the fire station where I can knock out a book sometimes, so. - You see she sort of smiles and says- - [Esther] Really? - Yeah. If you have any recommendations for... I mean, I guess I don't read a ton, if I'm being completely honest. - Yeah, I've got some. - I'm open to it. - [Esther] Do you want one of these books, Ricky? Would these be fun for you? - Sure. What's this one? (group laughing) - You pull out a huge book. - It's big, wow. - Go ahead and give me an Arcana check, if you'd be so kind. (dice clattering) - Uh, what's my arcana? Well, I rolled a three, so probably. Yeah, three. - It is written in a language you do not speak. (Emily laughing) You have no fucking idea what this is. - Amazing. Wow. (Ally laughing) - Each page is... The letters are this... (others laughing) - Make a Persuasion check for me, if you'd be so kind. (dice clattering) - Okay, uh. 18. - 18. You see that Esther kind of leans against the table, and bites her finger, trying to stifle. She's trying not to be mean. She goes- (Brennan sighing) - [Esther] Would you like me to walk you through this book that you've chosen? - That'd be awesome, honestly. - [Esther] (sighs) Okay, so this is a book of axioms. Do you know what an axiom is? - No. - [Esther] So, there's different references to it. It means a different thing in philosophy, for example, than it means in arcana. In arcana, an axiom refers to, basically, a law. A rule of magic. - Cool. - [Esther] You've opened it up to a page which is actually very pertinent for casting magic in New York. It's the Imperial Axiom. Imperial. Empire... - Oh. Empire rule. - Yeah. The empire rule. - Right? Oh, yeah. - You see that she's walking along. Give me an Insight check, by the way. (dice clattering) - Uh. Eight. - Eight. Cool. You're kind of going around, a little bit of a sense of something tingles, a little bit of your divine sense tingles, as you're walking through a room. She looks at you and says... She's just kind of babbling on. She goes, like. - [Esther] So, the Imperial Axiom basically states... - You see she looks at the book and says- - [Esther] "Because of the extreme difficulty "of creating a permanent magical effect "within the tumultuous arcane landscape of New York, "an object or enchantment which is abjured "or ensorcelled from being crafted-" - Ensorcelled? - [Esther] Yes. - Keep going, sorry. - [Esther] No, that's all right. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. "Object or enchantment which is abjured or ensorcelled "from being crafted, conjured or created "in a given location can be crafted, conjured or created "in its abjured locality "if it is first crafted, conjured or created "within the five boroughs of New York City." And that's the Imperial Axiom, also sometimes known as Sinatra's Law. - Oh, um, so... I didn't understand that, I'm gonna be honest, but it sounded awesome, the way you said it. - [Esther] If a magical effect or object is barred or... I'm trying to think. There is lots of things that we can't do in certain places or for certain reasons, they're abjured, they're barred, they're warded, da da da da da da da da. However, because of the Imperial Axiom, if you are able to create or conjure that magical effect or object within the five boroughs of New York City, you can then conjure, craft or create it within the place that it is normally barred from being crafted or created, so it's just kind of an interesting law of magic. There's tons of these that we have to learn and know about. - It's like a loophole. - [Esther] It's a little loophole. But I mean, this whole library is full of loopholes. - You look up and get a really weird sense. You're looking at a giant map of the five boroughs of New York City, except that the highways on the map are in this sort of pulsing red, and your divine sense kind of tingles a little bit. - Uh, so, what's the deal with this glowing map? - [Esther] Glowing map? Why don't you... You tell me what you think. - [Brennan] Give me another Arcana check. (dice clattering) - Two. (others laughing) - [Esther] What do you think it is? - Well, so these are the highways, right? - [Esther] Yeah. - And they're glowing. So that's... The traffic's really bad right now, it seems like. (Brennan spluttering) (others laughing) Kind of everywhere. Gridlock. - Give me another Persuasion check? (dice clattering) - Two. (others laughing) No, wait. Five. - That was almost a 20. - Five? Do it with advantage. - Change dice! - I'll give you a little inspiration here. (Zac blowing) (dice clattering) - Okay, 16. (Siobhan laughing) - You see that she just busts out laughing. She's like- - [Esther] I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to be an asshole. - It's not traffic, okay. - It's not traffic, no. It's not traffic. - I didn't feel like it was traffic. - [Esther] No, it's not traffic. That's a good guess. That is actually a good guess. This is what we... (sighs) The loose term we have for it is the Highway Hex. Basically, (sighs) unlike the subways and the bus routes that run basically with the grain of ley lines here in New York, a lot of the highways seem to run against it, and it actually creates kind of the tumultuous arcane effect that we were talking about when we were talking about the Imperial Axiom. The BQE, the Major Deegan, a lot of these highways end up creating pathways of energies that dilute ley lines, which makes teleporting into and out of New York very difficult. It basically makes us a little bit more isolated. - So it's like interference. - [Esther] That's exactly right. It's like interference. - Nice. (Brennan laughing) Cool, okay. - You see that she says- - [Esther] Absolutely. - So this is just a map explaining that that exists? - [Esther] Well, we don't understand a lot about it. We don't know... We're trying to figure it out as well. A lot of these things... - And you see she gets a sad look on her face. She says- - [Esther] A lot of these things are sort of a work in progress. - Does it have anything to do with the amount of people going back and forth? - [Esther] That's part of it. - Yeah. - [Esther] The traffic actually does a lot of the work of energy, because obviously people have an inherent magic in them. Even a person that can't see the Unsleeping City still has a heart and soul. Kingston, your friend, gets his magic from real people every day. (Zac humming) - Wow. - [Esther] You better- - Wow. (laughing) - You're stunned. She says- - [Esther] I've been up for more than a day so I think I'm gonna hit the hay. Let me show you your place. - Awesome, yeah. - She takes you to a little bunk in the chantry. She says- - [Esther] There should be shampoo and towels and stuff if you need it. Let me know if you need anything else. - Okay. Thanks. - [Esther] And hey. I appreciate the scholarly effort. - Thanks. It's really hard for me. (group laughing) - You see that she looks like her heart breaks and she says... - [Esther] I always thought you were a bit of a macho kind of guy, and I'm grateful that you ran into the fire and saved us all, but that's sort of the kind of thing that guys like you do. No offense. - Oh. None taken. - You see (laughing) she looks and says- - [Esther] You trying to learn that stuff really is brave, and I'm not downplaying that. - Thanks. Appreciate that. Then I just take off my shirt. (all laughing) - Make an Insight check. (Emily laughing) - I got a eight. - She makes some kinda expression on her face and says- - [Esther] Have a good night, Rick! - And (laughing) walks away down the hallway. (Emily laughing) Great. We're gonna cut over to our man Kingston Brown. Kingston, it's a short walk, actually, from here to Williamsburg. So you walk, dead of night, one o'clock in the morning. What's going on in Kingston's head as he walks to Williamsburg? - I think it's just a lot of trying to put the pieces together of this Bethesda Fountain bullshit, that weird man at that fucking wedding. Man, what's going on? What happened to the New York that I love? I mean, I still love New York, but god damn. We're doing okay, and then Pete shows up. I mean, he's a good kid, but come on, man. (others laughing) Everything seems to be going... Who's this gray baby? Alejandro's smoking again. - Give me an (laughing) Investigation check. - Great. (dice clattering) 19. - You know where you need to head. You go down by the waterfront, like, Kent. You can look across the river and see Manhattan. You're walking up. You start to walk through this old neighborhood. It's southern Williamsburg, near the water. It's late at night. There's a lot of families in this neighborhood, so hardly any noise of anything happening. You begin to hear a lumbering. (stone thudding) You round a corner and you look and see an eight foot tall brick hulking golem. You see that the golem's eyes glow. (Willy groaning) And you see that it is digging through pavement for something. (Willy groaning) Turns around. (stone thudding) (Brennan imitating energy pulsing) Eyes glow. Looks over at you. - What you looking for, Willy? - [Willy] Kingston Brown from uptown! - Oh, what's going on, man? - You see he puts a hand up and- (Brennan imitating whooshing) goes down. Brings you in for a big hug. He says- - [Willy] You look good, Kingston Brown. - Hey, thank you, man. I appreciate. You don't look bad yourself. Redder than normal? - He says- - [Willy] Well, what can I say? Some rust from being down in the scrapyards. - Uh-huh? - [Willy] There are a couple of trolls that come by to bother all the mishegas. It took all of a week to find them all. - (hums) Hey, that's tough, man, but how you doing? You living well? You good? - [Willy] I live by the might of Gol. I am happy to be animated still. You're looking thin. You eating still these days? - You know, my mom's trying to get me to eat more, but you know, just between work and more work, and then the city and all this shit... It's hard to make time. I made a salad tonight and I didn't even get to eat all of it 'cause I had to come down here. - [Willy] If you want, we should go by a bakery somewhere. I can move... - You see that his bricks integrate with a wall next to him. - [Willy] I can move through the wall, grab maybe a bagel, a schmear, some lox. What do you want? - I mean, yeah, I'll take a... No lox, just bagel with schmear. - He nods. (stone thudding) Starts lumbering down the street. He says- - [Willy] By the way, there is a nest of dybbuks nearby here. They are spectral, so hard for me to- (Willy imitating smashing) smash them. You mind to take a look? - Yeah, of course. Sorry, you're gonna have to say that again. You know, sometimes, the lack of a tongue and the fact that your mouth is mostly bricks, I have- - [Willy] What, should I have a tongue made of meat like someone- - I'm not saying you've gotta have a tongue, Willy. - [Willy] Why Kingston come down here to give me a hard time? - I did not come down here to fight with you about whether or not you have a tongue, all right? (others laughing) - [Willy] I can tell you for a fact that I should be so lucky to have a tongue. - Uh-huh. Okay. - You see you go down the street. You get to a bakery. You see that he- (Brennan inhaling) (stone grinding) melds with the brick wall, disappears for a second, and comes back out. (Brennan imitating stone grinding) The bricks open up in his chest, and you see a nice toasted everything bagel (Lou laughing) with a schmear on it. - Thank you, Willy. This looks delicious. - [Willy] Ah, think nothing of it. It's important. You have to stay fed. - Yeah. Sorry, what were you gonna say? - [Willy] There are a nest of dybbuks, possessing spirits, that are nearby. Would you mind just... (Brennan clapping) - Yeah, of course. Happy to. - He takes you round the corner. You see for sure there's a hive in an old gutter of a building of just some very minor undead spirits that are hanging out there. - I cast Turn Undead, or Destroy Undead. - Yeah, you raise your hand. (dice clattering) What do you say to this nest of dybbuks as you see it? - All right. (magic shimmering) Get outta here, you damn dybbuks! (others laughing) - You see they all- (Brennan imitating fluttering) fly away. - [Willy] And don't come back! Kingston, what a (speaking Yiddish). I appreciate you taking the time. - Of course, man. Happy to help. Now, I wouldn't come down here at 1:00 am just to say hello. You know? You know I love a good bagel, but it's late and I should be sleeping. But I wanted to ask you. What's going on with Lazarus? - [Willy] Lazarus? - Yeah. - [Willy] Uh, it's some Christian schmuck in the Bible, I think. What should I know for? - Well, I mean, it's just we've got something going on. You know that gray baby? - [Willy] Gray baby. - You know the gray baby? (laughs) - [Willy] A gray... Why should a baby be gray? Take the baby to the hospital. (Emily laughing) - Hey, you're talking to a nurse, all right? I know what a gray baby- - [Willy] Why should I know? - Babies should not be gray. Anyway. You know Nod, right? - [Willy] Nod, yes. I know. I am a creature, of course, of the waking world, but... - Yeah, well, there's something going down with Nod, and there's this gray baby that just keeps talking on and on about Lazarus. And you know, me and Alejandro and some of the other people were talking, and we were like, "Who here knows about this religious stuff?" So I thought to come to you. - [Willy] So there's something in the Dreaming to warn you about this, what, Lazarus from the bible? - Yes. Because... Well, the other thing I forgot to mention is, you know Santa Claus, right? Santa Claus got his list stolen, and you know that both Satan and St Peter have been using that same list, so- (Willy scoffing) - [Willy] What a mess. - Okay, Willy. We don't need to get into all of this Christian versus Jewish stuff, all right? - [Willy] You said it, not me. I was just saying. - Uh-huh? All right, well, do you know anything about Lazarus or is there anything you've heard, any rumblings? - [Willy] Lazarus. Are you sure it's the Lazarus from the Bible? - Well, you got another Lazarus I should be looking into? - You see he looks out over the water. Beautiful snow across the water of the East River, and looks out at the Statue of Liberty. - [Willy] Now, there- - Emma Lazarus. - [Willy] Now, there is a woman. There was a woman once, Emma Lazarus. She wrote the poem inscribed in that fine, beautiful woman's book. (Willy exhaling) The Statue of Liberty. - I'm sorry, Willy. You trying to get it on with the Statue of Liberty? - [Willy] What? A golem can't dream? - I'm not saying... (Emily laughing) We never talked about ladies before. I just didn't know. - [Willy] Well, what do you know? Your wife's a (indistinct). - Oh, oh, (laughs) okay. You wanna bring that up? - [Willy] No, just saying. - Oh, you're just saying. All right. (Emily laughing) - [Willy] Listen, I don't mean to fight. But look, you're a mensch. You come down, you help me with dybbuks. I'm happy to answer your question. I'm just saying, tell me that it's not a fetching statue. - Okay. If a statue... I'm personally not attracted to statues, but sure, that's a- (stammering) - [Willy] You saying I'm not a handsome statue? - Okay, we've never talked about being... I mean, do you think I'm an attractive man? - [Willy] You're a very handsome man. I have no problem saying it. - Okay, fine. You're a very handsome stone golem. - [Willy] That actually means a lot to me. - Hey, well, I'm sorry I didn't say it before. - [Willy] Well, you might start looking for Emma Lazarus. Kingston, shalom, my brother. It is good to see you. - Hey, thank you very much, Willy. Poker sometime? - [Willy] Oh, please. We missed you from the game! Come by any time. - I'll be there. - [Willy] Give my best to Victoria and Winston. - Of course. Have a good night, bud. - You see he nods, smiles. (Brennan imitating thudding) Heads off down the street. And you've got a name. Kingston heads out. This is going to be our friend Sofia. - Okay. - You head back to Staten Island. You're on your way back to, I guess, your family's house. - Yeah. - Make a Perception check for me, if you'd be so kind. (dice clattering) - Nat 20. (Ally clapping) - Fuck yeah. - (laughs) At last! - Just out of the leopard box. (group laughing) - Open my box... - You're heading down the street, and before you can even realize it, you bump face-to-face with Isabella Infierno. (tense music) (Siobhan gasping) - Oh my god. - [Isabella] Oh my god. Sofia. Running into you on the street. How are you doing? - So late and you're by yourself. - [Isabella] Well, I was out of town. - And you see she picks up a bag. It's a bag from David's Bridal, and it has a wedding dress in it. - I vomit. (group laughing) (Emily clearing throat) (others laughing) You know you can't get married until I even see divorce papers. I haven't even gotten divorce papers yet. - [Isabella] Oh? - If this is about Dale. - [Isabella] We don't need to have a legal wedding. A lot of what we do is really off the books. It's just a party for our friends and family to come and celebrate our love. - I tear open the thing to see her wedding dress. (laughing) - Cool. (others laughing) Make an Athletics check for me. - Dueling with her. - Oh my god. (others laughing) - Oh my god! I got a 22. - You snatch the dress out of her hand. It is the most beautiful gown. - I vomit again. (laughing) (group laughing) - You see Isabella picks it up and says- - [Isabella] Sofie, you're a fucking mess. I wish you the best, and listen. If you really want an invite, I'd be happy to send one your way. (Zac scoffing) - I actually would. I just came from a wedding and it was a really beautiful experience. I'm looking to add more to my weekends. Assuming you guys can afford getting married on the weekend. - [Isabella] Oh- - Or are you doing one of those Friday weddings? - [Isabella] We're doing a destination wedding. - Oh yeah? - [Isabella] Yeah. - Where? Just so I know. - She says- - [Isabella] We're gonna go out all the way to Montauk, have a wedding on the beach. June. - Dale hates the beach. - [Isabella] Yeah, but I love it, and he loves me. (others laughing) Bye, Sofie. - And you see she walks off down the street. - Just so you know, I would'a never guessed that Dale would do to me what he did to me, so this feeling of confidence and love that you have right now? Enjoy it while it lasts. - She shrugs, moves on. - That's what a nat 20 gets you. (group laughing) Jesus Christ! - I'm sweating at the palms. - Yeah, me too! (laughs) - What does Sofie do after that? - Sofie had a really specific plan (laughing) before she ran into Isabella Infierno. Let me see if she can collect herself. I think, uh... I think I'm gonna look at my phone and see. Well, I wanted to contact two people, and then I had this really specific thing. I was coming home being like, you know what? I'm gonna finally do it. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna empty the mailbox. I've been avoiding it, 'cause I don't want to see his name written on letters. Stuff is still coming here for him. But you know, I'm feeling empowered by my new friends, so I'm gonna finally do it. I don't know if I can now. (Ally laughing) So I might not do that. I am gonna- - Give me a Wisdom save with disadvantage. - Okay. With disadvantage. Okay. (dice clattering) (Zac gasping) - I got... I did get a nat 20, but I also got a two. - Oh, fuck! - Fuck! - So, Wisdom save is gonna be a five. - Sofie needs a drink. - Okay. - Oh, no. - All right. I'm gonna go to the bar. I feel like I had this really specific plan of what I wanted to do and I don't know if I can even do it now after that exchange, role-playing-wise. So, yeah, I guess I'm gonna go to the bar, and I take out my phone, trying to do what I was planning on doing. But then instead, I'm just gonna text Dale. - Cool. You get fucking lit. What do you text Dale? - I think I just say, "I hope you get sand between your ass cheeks "(laughing) at your fucking beach wedding, you dick!" And then I delete it. I delete it, I delete it. (Brennan laughing) And then I just say, "I wish you the best." - Aw! - And I send that. I say, "I saw Isabella. I wish you the best." (Brennan exhaling) And then I order a shot, but as they're pouring the shot, I just take the bottle from them. - You just- (Brennan imitating whooshing) grab the bottle, yeah. You get fucking blasted. - I had all this responsible detective work I wanted to do! - Fuck! - My god. - And now it just feels so false for me to do that. - Yeah, so- - I think that's the role-playing choice. - Never mind. - That's the role-playing choice. Misty, you arrive back at your lovely penthouse, and you see a gift there. - Oh, I love gifts! - It's this huge, beautiful silk tarp over something very tall standing. Like, must be a piece of art or something. - I don't even have Detect Magic. Fuck it, I'll open this present. - You whip the silk off and a six foot tall, beautiful standing mirror is here in your apartment. - (gasps) Oh! I find the perfect place for it in my apartment. - You set it up in your bedroom. Go ahead and give me a Charisma saving throw. (dice clattering) - Uh. 15? - 15. (Brennan inhaling) - You are- (magic whooshing) knocked back against the wall. The mirror fills your bedroom with light. You see standing on the other side of the mirror, wreathed in light, is Titania, queen of the faeries. - I kneel. It's been such a long time! Oh my god, you look great. - [Titania] Silence! (glass smashing) (Brennan imitating smashing) - All the glassware in your bedroom shatters. - Oh, that's fine, I can get other glassware. (Siobhan clearing throat) I'm quiet. - [Titania] My name. My name. You would steal glamor meant for me. You would usurp the glory that was intended for your queen. 400 years ago, you ran away, and just because you hide in a place of iron and smoke does not mean you can deny your queen! (Brennan imitating smashing) - Light tears away. Your clothes rend and your jewelry falls away for a little bit and you can feel her trying to rip the shoes off your feet. - Can I cover the mirror back up again? - Yes. Make an attack roll to try and cover the mirror up. - What is that? (dice clattering) - Dex plus proficiency. (Siobhan inhaling sharply) - Uh, 15 plus proficiency is, er, 18? - You grab the silk, (fabric rustling) hurl it over the mirror. (magic shimmering) The light fades, and you feel one of the bones of your hip break. (Ally gasping) - Oh! (Lou laughing) Damn this stupid body. (others laughing) I, erm... Call Kingston? - Kingston, on your way back to the subway, you get a call from Misty. (phone ringing) - I answer it. - Kingston, I- (stammering) I've had a bad fall. (others laughing) Kingston, I- - You fell? - I fell. My hip, I think I've broken my hip. - You broke your... Okay, well, can you walk? Of course you can't walk. I'm on my way, I'll see you soon. - Thank you. I'll tell the doorman to let you in. - Great. - You rush to Misty's. You arrive there, set the hip in, and probably this is where you're gonna have to crash tonight. - Can I spend the night, Misty? Is that all right? - Please! Use any one of the guest rooms, it's fine. (group laughing) - Okay. - An apartment with multiple guest rooms! - Kugrash, you head back to the sewers. What does Kugrash do as he heads back to the sewers? Just sleeping? - Yeah. I think he's feeling... What time is it right now? - It's, like, one o'clock in the morning. - Okay, I think he's kinda had a rough day, and he's gonna try to just find a place to think and go to his little hole in the tunnels. - On your way to the little hole near a subway station, you see a little basket with a bunch of cheese in it, and you see there's a little not on it that says- - [Wally] Wherever you are, Rat Jesus, know that I love you. (Ally laughing) From Wally. - Wally! (group laughing) - Aww. - I love Wally. - Kugrash breaks down crying. - Aw! - And then does Wally live nearby? - Yeah, Wally lives nearby. - I wanna go to Wally's house. (Lou laughing) - You go to Wally's house. You walk in. You see it's late at night. Wally's at his kitchen table in a very small little apartment, and you see that he's FaceTiming with his brother. You see he goes- - [Wally] David. Come on. We don't know that he's gone. He might still be missing. - You see that the guy on the other end of the phone is a businessman-looking guy, sort of just average. He's wearing a fleece. He goes- - [David] Wally, it's late. Look, dad's on some fuckin' island somewhere. He's never coming back, all right? He's gone. He left us. - You see Wally says- - [Wally] I don't think he would do that. I just, I know it's been a long time. I just don't think he would. - He says- - [David] Look, I gotta go, all right? Take care of yourself, Wally. Come check in any time. - The little FaceTime thing ends. Wally looks up, and you see he says- - [Wally] Well, least I got the Christmas card. - He puts a little Christmas card up on his fridge from David and David's wife and the kids, and it says, "Merry Christmas from the Kugriches". Wally goes- - [Wally] All right. Time to go to bed. Gotta brush my teeth, though. (group laughing) - Starts brushing his teeth. - [Wally] Okay. (others laughing) - Fully under the blanket. (others laughing) - Fuck. - I think I'm going to... I think Kugrash isn't ready to confront Wally right now, but I want to give him a good sign, so I do that parent Santa thing. I eat the cheese and I leave it out on a plate (others laughing) and I just write on a note, "Rat Jesus loves you." (others laughing) And "I'm watching you." - "I'm watching you!" - Uh, and then I say, "in not a creepy way." (others laughing) - Oh, so heartbreaking. And then Kugrash goes and sleeps in the sewers. Pete. - Kugrash. What? - You enter the Dreaming. (magic shimmering) What does Pete do once he enters the Dreaming? - Uh, he's probably having just some weird dream that's similar to life, but yeah. He's probably making a deal. (dice clattering) - You are making a deal. You're in a beautiful neighborhood. You see that there's a cool guy with a little handlebar mustache. Someone's riding a fixie around, there's cool coffee shops and stuff like that. Selling some drugs. You see that one of the people turns to look at you and says- - [Hipster] Oh, hey, man. You're Pete the Plug, right? (Ally humming) You're Pete the Plug, right? Are you gonna hook us up? - Yeah, yeah. What do you guys need? - Um, well, we'd love to, I think, like... Get out, I think. - Totally, yeah. - [Hipster] Do you have anything to help us, like, get out? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me see. I pull out some mushrooms. I'm like, yeah, this? You gonna go camping or something, or? - [Hipster] We've always wanted to go to New York. (creature chittering) (creature hissing) - These mandibles extend and start clicking, and you see that all the people around here begin to turn insectoid. They take your mushrooms, start passing them out, and around you, a rip in the Dreaming opens and you see a neighborhood in New York City, and these things begin to (insects buzzing) fly out. They become surrounded by the Umbral Arcana, and you see that they are headed into real New York City. - [Insect] Thanks, Pete! (Brennan imitates chittering) (Brennan imitates fluttering) - Fuck, fuck, fuck... - They begin to storm in. You snap awake as quick as you can. On the table. It is morning. - Okay. I find Alejandro. - Alejandro is there. (Alejandro gasping) - [Alejandro] Peter, what did you see? - Okay, uh, okay. I was in, uh... It was probably Williamsburg or something, and these people wanted to get out, and I gave them mushrooms, and then they said thank you, they all turned into insects and ripped a hole and left and got out and went into an actual place in New York. - [Alejandro] You let them out? - Yeah, in the dream. I was just selling! - [Alejandro] Peter! What you do in the dream matters! - I don't know. I was just doing what I would normally do in the day-to-day. - [Alejandro] What you would normally do? It's- - They didn't even give me money. (others laughing) - [Alejandro] God! - You see he- (imitates whooshing) opens up a window. You see that he's doing a Clairvoyance spell onto a neighborhood. You hear screams. (people screaming) - You see he goes- - [Alejandro] My god. My god. I, I... - You see he says- - [Alejandro] I must run and find Esther. Collect your friends. These people are in danger! - Fuck. - What's Pete do? - I send out a mass text. Do I have your guys's number? - You wake up hungover. You wake up in the chantry upstairs. You wake up in Misty's apartment. You wake up in the sewers. There's trouble. You see it's right next to the Steinway subway stop, and you guys all know where to go. - Start running there. - You guys rush to the subway stop in various- - Wait. I can't rush. I've just broken my hip. - Your hip has... Kingston does some- - I used magic to heal you. - All right, well... (group clamoring) All right, all right, all right, all right. - We're not doing this the normal way. - He's not a regular doctor. - You guys rush, all get on the subway. Kingston, you give a little bit of help getting that subway there extra quick. - Of course. - And (imitating whooshing) you guys rush up out of the subway steps and hear the chittering of strange insects. I'm gonna need everybody here to roll initiative. - Roll in here? (dice clattering) - That's all for this week on "The Unsleeping City". Tune in next week and see what's bugging our intrepid heroes! (Brennan imitating chittering insects) - I hate bugs! - [Brennan] You guys rush up out of the subway. The buildings are covered in horrifying, gross webs. A wasp centaur. (Brennan snarling and chittering) Giant fucking beetle monsters. - [Creature] I'm gonna need them all dead! - I summon you, my babies! (rats squeaking) Defend your true king, you pieces of shit. - You hear muffled screams. (magic whooshing) - What the fuck is in there? - I hate this. - Those guys are fucking going up in flames. (fire roaring) (Brennan screaming) (Brennan imitating explosion) - Just try and fucking touch me with a 25, bitch! (Brennan imitating thudding) - When this bug tramples you! - Fuck! - Nat 20! (group screaming)

Channel: Dimension 20

Views: 373,188

Rating: 4.9680991 out of 5

Keywords: dimension 20, brennan lee mulligan, the unsleeping city, d20 the unsleeping city, the unsleeping city episode 5, dimension 20 unsleeping city, unsleeping city, kugrash, sofia bicicleta, dimension 20 new york, dimension 20 nyc, nyc rpg, nyc D&D, dimension 20 kugrash, dimension 20 sofia, d20 tuc, the unsleeping city full episode, dimension 20 full episode

Id: uFrZM6A4t44

Length: 108min 30sec (6510 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 02 2020