All right,
we're checking out the only game where the more of your own bones
you can break, the more dangerous of a fighter you are. It's Angle Fight. You pick your weapon. You pick your stance. No joke, you can literally
pick whatever stance you want. If you want one leg back
and one leg out and then your head, just break your own neck. You know what? Can I put my whole body backward? Oh, yes. I'm a beautiful ballerina. We'll bring one arm over here
and then one arm over here. This looks very comfortable. Can my foot completely touch the ground? There. Now, I'm technically walking. Then you push it, you wait,
the Naruto run, and there it-- I love that the more stupid your attack
pattern is, the better chance
you have at killing your opponent. Now, after each death,
you also get to unlock new stuff. As you can see,
we're rolling for our weapon and we get, oh, a mace and shield. Can I go right through the floor,
all the way? Yes, here we go.
Here we go. Perfect. Oh, yes. See, he can't hit me if half of my body
is literally inside of the earth. There we go. We're going to put
that like that, and that like that. This has got
to be the right attack right here. Watch. Boom. Flawless attack. His chest guard-- Oh my God, what is happening? Fire. I don't know what I'm firing at. What am I--?
Oh my God, I'm shooting my own-- my body. My body just exploded. I went back into the matrix. You win what? What do you win? Oh, now, I have to kill two ninjas. I have two choices, I can either
use this battle axe or this sword. Obviously, we're picking the battle axe. Also, it shows you the poses
that your opponent is going to be in. How come the one ninja
looks like he's ready to go and the other ninja looks
like he's begging for death? Don't get me wrong, it makes my job easy. How can you even hit anything up here? [laughs] Let's do it. Why not? There we go. Perfect. I look down upon you. Put the battle axe slightly down there. Maybe like a falling chandelier,
I can kill these guys. I'm missing both of them. We're not even touching one another. This guy is sliding like he just scored
a goal in the NHL and is-- What happened? I lose? That causes me to lose? I love that you have to murder
someone in order to win the game. You can go-- Okay. Oh, boy. All right. Yes, sure. Why not? Let's do this. Can I go completely flat? Let's put the, there we go,
the body like this, the head like this. You want to keep your eye on the ball,
basically. I want the battle axe just barely
in front of my head, right like that. Beautiful. Extend those legs. Perfect. This looks very, very unsafe. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. [laughs] That is straight up
something out of Mortal Kombat too. Oh, if I win one more,
I get throwing stars. Oh, see, he's taking the-- Some of these poses are incredible. He's taking a page out
of my technique over here. We either have the battle axe or a lance. Oh, yes. I've got a very special
name that only those in the dirtiest part
of the kingdom know me as. That name is Lance Goodthrust. Go.
The knees, the chest, the neck, I guess. His entire head just popped off. There is bodily pieces flying everywhere, and I am dancing
a jig on their body parts. Oh, yes, give me the throwing stars. Now, do I get to use them or do I have to murder
people in order to get them? He has them, and I guess once I stab
his groin right out the back of his body-- Oh, I can have two swords. They're like daggers. I love how this guy is just running. He's not actually using
the battle axes like weapons, he's more using them like weights. I'm getting a fantastic workout. Let's kneel, here we go, like this. Pelvis this out. Beautiful. Stabby thing right there. Other stabby thing right there. Ready and groin stab. Oh. Oh, yes, groin. Oh, all three of them stabbed. [laughs] Also,
you do get to throw the stars. That's awesome. Who am I up against now? Oh, there's bows in this game? What is this dude doing? He's like he's riding an invisible horse. Oh, I can either have a sword
and shield or a bow myself. Do I only get one arrow? I went through all that trouble
in order to get the throwing stars and I totally didn't equip them. What happens if I shoot the bow behind me? What happens if I shoot--? [laughs] I need to know. Do I die? [laughs] Leave it to me to kill myself before I have an opportunity
to die from the opponent. Also, I just realized I can't use
the throwing stars here. I'll use them in a second. Hold on, I need to try-- How about this? We're going to do the rise up
and then we're going to shoot downward. Also, I don't want my feet
to get picked off, so let me just-- There we go.
Let me just break my hip bones. Perfect.
I need one arrow to kill all of them. One arrow, two dead. That's what I'm talking about. See now, over here, against this guy,
who's going be jumping with a spear, I get to use my throwing stars,
or I can have this lance, but I'd rather have the stars. All right. We're going to put
ourselves through the ground again. I want to see if I can throw them,
throw one here and one here, maybe. Do that. There we go. See, this is great. At this point, because my head
is right next to my heels, see, I present a very small target. See, look at that. Right there. What chance does he have,
because I'm completely double-jointed. I like how many weapons are in this game. All right, I had to show
you guys something real quick. That right there is the type
of attack that 100% I would think of. I really appreciate
that other people are starting to use it. We're going to go up here,
way forward, watch this, blade down. I'm not even going to use this axe. I'm going to keep this axe back here. I'm just going to have it to look cool.
See this? Then one leg like that. Look at that. The pure wedding leg. Perfect. We're going to connect with the scuff.
Ready? Never mind, the knee. Same bone, almost. It's just one's much higher
and one's much lower. I'm pretty certain that the throwing
stars are invincible. I'm not even going to move. Watch. I'm not even going to use the movement. Now, his lance completely
went through my mouth, so I don't know why I didn't take
any damage from that. We'll just accept it for what it is. There goes the tower. [laughs] I love
how the only weapon that works for breaching castles is my own body. What am I at here? Now there's a gate and that dude-- Man, everyone's starting
to do the incredible pelvis thrust. I either get double maces
or double-double axes. This breaks armor and this breaks weapons. I want weapon breaking. If I can go completely upside down-- I know you can. Oh, here we go. Oh, yes, here we are. Like that. Just make it look like you're sitting inside of Wonder
Woman's invisible jet here. Perfect. All right.
Let's roll it with this. What can possibly go wrong? Oh, the gate murders you. You have to go under the gate. Now you have to start going underneath all these different obstacles. We're going to need armor
breaking and we have to go low then, like way low, like this low. Oh, my God, my leg just dislocated. I love it. Use it. Take that energy. Bam. Right through the armor. Bam. Right through the wrist, which is very valuable
for a fighter because now there's no way that he can wield
his weapon against me. Do I get new armor if I beat this guy? Now there's spikes on the ground. This means
we're all going to be floating just about. Can I have an arrow? Then the spikes,
and then whatever this is. Oh, phalanx shield. Oh, it's a lot smaller in person. I don't want my feet to hit the spikes. How tall are those spikes? I don't really know.
Just like rowing a boat. Perfect.
Let's bring those feet behind the shield. Behind the shield. Epic. Here we go. Matrix. Oh, my sword. No, my shield. What happened? Oh, that's right. The axe breaks weapons. For that,
you actually have to come down super low and stab him in the knee or something. Maybe something like this. Here. Stab him right in the groin. Beautiful. That was a hard shot. Secondary groin shot. Big critical hit on anyone. Spear up the groin. I don't know what this is,
but I'll take it. I now have an epic skin. I love that I have to jump
through thumbnail holes in order to get to my next combat. Look at how specific this is. Oh, it's not a fight, it's just a giant chest of money
that I karate kicked open. I'm up against Robin Hood. Oh, I can get a shield or something. I have no idea what that means. Robin Hood has a bow, obviously. Wait a minute. One of the options
is just like a laser rifle? That seems like cheating. To be fair, this is cheating, too. We're going to buy probably
the laser rifle in a little bit. Real quick, though,
let me just show you something. What's he going to do? I could just god my way over, like-- Just floating in the air,
raining down bladed death on my opponent. All right, he's coming over the canyon. He's got a sword and a shield. Again, I feel like this is just-- there is really no answer for this. I want to draw a shape with my own body. It's a four. Let's do that then maybe like this. There we go. Oh, yes, that's perfect. Let's just do this. This will probably work, honestly. I told you, the stars are incredible. Oh, none of us got injured. Somehow I got injured. Probably touched the guy
and got some sort of skin disease. You know what? We're going with the axe. I got the spar to kick up just in case. We broke each other's weapons. Baseball slime. It worked. Double broad swords. I like how this guy was like, "I would like your smallest shield,
please." You got it. Here we go. This is like a pincer maneuver. See, look at this. It's like a Pacman mouth. There. Perfect. I'm going to eat him. Eat him. Bam. Decapitation. This castle is running out of pieces, man. All right,
now you have to slide under the gate while dealing with Dollar Store Viking. Dollar Store Viking. Correct. I want to see-- I really want to hit the guy from behind. What I mean is if I go like this and I put the mace maybe way down here,
will it work? Will I kill him first or he kill me first? Oh, I die first. Oh, I got a bow and arrow this time. You can turn the bow the other direction? What? Hold on. Now I need to know. I think I can get above his weapon is-- let's try this and then point
it more like that. Perfect. Oh, the rain cloud of death is-- Oh, wow. I was nowhere near him. Look, I just went for slow
and steady for this one. Perfect. Oh, I'm on fire. Double damage. The castle is destroyed. What do I get from a destroyed castle? You can have a lot of money. Yes.
I would like all of your money, please. I have enough money
to buy a random weapon. Okay. Oh, yes. I almost have enough money
to buy another random weapon. You guys really need
to see this combo right here. This is quite possibly
the most amazing combination of fighting I think
I've ever seen in my life. I don't know how to approach this. You can put your shield
down here to block the axe. Then maybe like this. Like this here. I have no idea. This is the strangest combat
I've ever been a part of. They're like two beautiful swans. I murdered them both in one hit. I cannot believe it. Yes, give me another random weapon. Two broad swords. I love it. Now I can pick from all these any time. All right. It's either
going to be the two broad swords or-- All right. Oh, double spears. Do you throw them or do you just use them? Also, this guy has two guns? Again, I think I could just like rain
down death from the sky, like this. I don't even think I need that much space. Put it in my mouth, there we go,
like I'm holding it in my teeth. I love it. Right here. Brush your teeth, kids. Headshot. All right. I said I was going to use the gun,
and we're going to use the gun. I'm literally fighting
my opponent with a gun. This feels like cheating.
It's absolutely - I missed. I'm the only person I know
that could fire a black hole at someone and somehow miss. Cheat cannon, activate. Oh, right in the kneecaps too. That guy will never be an adventurer now. I only got a couple of more fights
before I get whatever this is. I have no idea what those swords are. That's a lot of ninjas. I need to explain something
real quick with this technique. I feel like lodging your throat inside of your companion's kneecap
probably isn't the best way to fight. Not 100% sure. Feel like I'm right though. I'm going to go with
this suitcase plan here. See? Look at this. Watch this. Suitcase. Come on. Lean the head inside the chest. Headbang. Perfect. Suitcases. This. There. Now, the shield protects
my entire little meatball body. Look at that. Right there. No chance. Bam. I don't even know what my axe hit. It was like one of the top horns
of his helmet. This is why you shouldn't wear
a horny helmet. Oh, yes. Two battles left before I get
the ultimate blood death swords. Now you see here
they have two ranged individuals, and one is standing
on the other one shoulders so he can get a higher shot, I think.
I don't know. I really have no idea
what anyone here is thinking. Keep your eye on the ball. Bring that knee in. Yes, right there. That's good. Yes. Then shield out. This is a one million IQ play. Nevermind. There was no IQ involved there. That was the worst amount of IQ. All right.
No joke, the gun is pretty strong. I think I did this backwards. Let's try like this. Yes. Oh yes. That's hot. That's the stuff right there. Yes, let's try that.
Bring the spear tip up a little bit because I don't even think
it matters where the spear tip is. Look. Although somehow
the spear tip always manages to lodge itself inside of the groins
of the unfortunate. We're going for the unlock. Oh my God. What is that? Now do they stay that size? Oh, I get the double guns? Are you kidding me? I was an adventurer
until I took a gunshot to the knee. Ow. Now the only problem
is you only get two gunshots, so I might need a legitimate weapon here. See, now,
the mace breaks through shields, so-- Oh, wow. Double hit and then the knuckles. Let me tell you something, it's like getting a baseball
bat against the knuckles. It's awful.
It doesn't matter how tough you are, you feel like you want
to die for the next 25 seconds. Yes, please. The time has come to use
the ridiculously overpowered mega swords. Oh yes. You know what that red is on those swords? Tears made of strawberry jam. I've got both of my feet in my mouth. I've got my swords aimed
up with my opponent. Here we go. Ow. Decapitation, yes. I just learned today
that the best assassins in the world are triple-jointed. Anyway folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of Angle Fight. Till the next time,
stay foxy and much love.
