Troom Troom Is Horrible

whenever i make the mistake of checking the trending tab on youtube i'm spit-roasted with the sad reality that the majority of the popular content online is garbage aimed towards kids just a whole load of horse [ __ ] that's aimed at children and there's a good reason for that it's because children are like view bots parents no longer feel like raising their own kids they put that responsibility on the internet now so just sit their kids down in front of an ipad to let videos auto play all day while they go on facebook to complain about how difficult it is to be a modern parent and then whine when something's not child friendly enough because god forbid they have to do any level of parenting on their own and actually monitor their kids behavior so these kids are like prisoners being held hostage by their parents strapped to a table like hannibal [ __ ] lecter with their eyes pried open being forced to watch youtube kids content because their parents can't be bothered to entertain them and i do feel bad for the kids as they're growing up thinking tick tocks are hilarious because they're brainwashed by this terrible youtube [ __ ] this awful awful terrible youtube kids content and no channel is worse than troom troom which we'll take a look at today today i'll be watching their 18 ways to sneak pets into a movie theater which comes at the greatest time for this considering movie theaters are extinct right now and of course everyone's been asking for years man i want to go to the movie but i want to bring my jellyfish how the [ __ ] am i going to be able to do this luckily trumtroom has plenty of answers for you tons of tactics and techniques to sneak your beloved pets into the movie theater where they belong your ticket what do you need a hat for yo this hat is my lifestyle yo yo yo whoa not bad come in come out cutie it's your favorite part this hat is my lifestyle yo thank you troom troom i don't have a hamster but i will be smuggling three pounds of cocaine in my hat now using your technique it's ingenious this whole skit feels like it was written by a computer program just like an ai that's in its most primitive state at the moment no movie theater is like this i've been to hundreds of movie theaters and never a single time has there ever been like a security guard strictly checking tickets like with a flashlight making sure it's not counterfeit and then interrogating you about a hat it's not like you're going to a [ __ ] funeral you're going to see a marvel movie or something so this whole thing just doesn't make any sense and why would you ever sneak a pet into a movie in the first place and honestly i feel like a [ __ ] idiot for even asking that question when clearly there wasn't any thought put into this it was just pumped out within an hour based on what popular words were floating around twitter at the time they saw pets they saw a movie theater and then decided let's perform an unholy fusion dance of the two and create this here this amalgamation of filth and trash and i get this is all made for kids so i shouldn't really expect it to have like christopher nolan levels of quality and thought-provoking themes or [ __ ] like that that doesn't mean every piece of kids content has to be terrible like copy and pasted nursery rhymes endlessly to exploit the algorithm or horrible [ __ ] like trumetrum would you be so kind as to take it off sure look it's empty you're right you can come in what is the best place to hide a bunny a magician hat there you go fluffy i told you you'd watch a new movie settle in is it really worth the 50 to just shove your dignity up your ass and be an actor in one of these things i often wonder does it actually help or ruin your career to be an actor in one of these now far be it for me to poke holes into the bulletproof strategies of troom troom here but this strategy is only viable for anyone that's a warlock or just familiar with birthday party magic this isn't something that anyone's gonna be able to pick up and do you're going to have to study some chris angel highlight reels in order to get the technique down and feel confident enough to pull it off in the real world so there's gonna be a lot of preparation into this one especially if you're working with a bunny that size [ __ ] godzilla here it looked like she pulled a lion out of her hat oh you were expecting hi cutie please come in come on how can these adorable little babies make you tired now this will only work if your security guard's a [ __ ] rookie some kind of terrible amateur with their first day on the job if you're not investigating every pregnant woman that's coming to your movie theater you don't deserve to call yourself a movie theater security guard if this was me as a security guard i would have absolutely done it the textbook way i would have interrogated her a little bit about the pregnancy when you know when she expecting when was it conceived etc and then once she's done with my questionnaire i'd give her the ultimate test just like ellen degeneres i'd whip out some champagne and make her take a drink to prove that she's either pregnant or not pregnant i'd make damn sure i knew whether or not she was truly pregnant or not if she doesn't drink the champagne she's likely actually pregnant if she does take a drink well she's a terrible [ __ ] mother and i'm calling the police on her or she was lying to me either way she's out of my movie theater she's taking a drink so i would absolutely hit her with the ultimate test because as a movie theater security guard it is your responsibility to make sure there isn't any god damn ducks coming into any of the movies you're like atlas holding the world on your shoulder but on a much smaller scale and also only making sure pets aren't coming in apparently this place is full of suspicious people let's check everything in here clear we're conducting the scheduled security inspection now i don't think anyone's actually using their advice to sneak pets into a movie theater but should there be some lost soul out there that thinks any of these are a good idea let me just say this one is an actual felony impersonating an officer an fbi agent [ __ ] like that i mean that's a crime that's punishable by jail time even if you're a child the law doesn't care about your age you're not safe even if you're six years old and you try this you are going to jail for life you will be in the slammer forever and your parents will get divorced and santa claus isn't bringing you any presents so don't you even [ __ ] think about trying this all right you little snot-nosed milk drinking little turd do you want to become invisible act like a chameleon [Music] it works every time i don't really get why this one's here because this isn't even about sneaking your pet into a movie theater it's about sticking a chameleon up your [ __ ] and then gaining its superpowers so i don't even know what this is going to teach anyone that this won't work for me if i put a chameleon up my butthole there's a good chance i don't absorb its invisibility camouflage powers through osmosis or anything so i just don't i don't even know why this is part of the tutorial are these kittens no animals at the movies fine abracadabra we are going in and go hi girls i don't really get this one either if the kittens were actually women the whole time other witches why wouldn't you just have them enter as women and then transform into cats once they're in the movie theater it just seems like you added an unnecessary step to hypnotize the security worker you could have just really thought this out a little bit better but i mean effective strategy i will say you get the idea it [ __ ] sucks all of these kids channels which comprise the majority of the top 100 channels on the website and even extending beyond youtube the majority of the most popular content online in the most lucrative field is things aimed at children and it's all pretty [ __ ] terrible right now because everyone's viewing children as just numbers instead of actually trying to make something that will help kids you know actually educate them or genuinely entertain them instead of just giving them something like troom troom it's i don't know it's sad i honestly think it's just more sad than anything i grew up in the 90s so i had a lot of different kids content back then but that kind of kid [ __ ] still kind of holds up to by today's standards as just general good entertainment whereas in five years from now i don't think anyone that grew up on this [ __ ] is going to look back fondly on trump rooms 18 ways to sneak pets into a movie theater and have a good old belly laugh about the golden years you know i just don't see that happening because it's all genuinely garbage and i don't think anyone's actually entertained by it i just feel like they're forced to watch it because their parents are making them stay glued to their devices because they just don't want to do anything with their kids or raise them anymore and it's just sad all kids content [ __ ] sucks that's that's the that's the majority of what i'm trying to say that's about it so yeah

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 4,772,807

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Id: zG_sqR_Hg0s

Length: 8min 33sec (513 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 14 2020