Top 5 Grimderp Moments in Warhammer 40k Lore

g'day guys and gal it's no secret that people are stupid we make stupid decisions embarrass ourselves and try way too hard quite often the setting of warhammer 40k is no different after all people write all the stories we all know the word grimdark it's basically nailed into our brain so hard that we start to look like a world eater there is no denying 40k is a grim duck setting from the demonic hordes that ravage the innocent to the space bugs of death that also ravaged the innocent [ __ ] like the emperor needing thousands of psychists to sacrifice themselves daily to keep the imperium running or the fact that the inquisition has blown up human worlds purely to deny the tyrion its biomass are good examples of grim darkness that show off the ruthlessness and themes of 40k but sometimes writers take it too far sometimes they make up wildly [ __ ] lore that makes no practical sense purely to tick the uh oh yeah mate that's pretty dark hey check box this has resulted in the 40k fandom scratching their heads at some of the sillier grimdark moments moments that are now aptly called grim derp some time ago i made a video outlining the top 10 dumbest moments in 40k lore so i do understand if at a glance this just looks like a rehash however that video was just dumb moments moments which didn't have to be grim derp so this top 5 will be very different but first guys and gal the major kill minis some are boobs some have big ass claws and some can slice your ass in half all of them are stocked up and ready for sale worldwide the kicker all prices are in australian which means everyone is pretty much getting a 25 to 40 percent discount unless you live in venezuela i also want to remind you guys that in two weeks the magekill mini painting competition comes to a close so if you've painted your mini or you have it ready to go get it sorted and send a photo over to my email twitter or discord winner gets 500 actual dollars today we'll go over 5 grim derp things in the setting of 40k these things will be broad and will consist of multiple moments in the lore to show why they're grim derp many of these things have since been retconned because even gw realized how stupid it made them look but we ain't cutting them any slack let's get into it [Music] the first grimdev thing on this list is how some chapters go about their space marine recruitment although grueling trials to weed out the weak does make a lot of sense and results in only the best of the best becoming an astartes some of these trials are just plain [ __ ] [ __ ] for the blood angels they literally get put into a sarcophagus full of blood for a year as they transform from cancer-ridden hobos to beautiful aryan vampires we all know and love some aspirants wake up early and have to endure months of darkness and solitude within their sarcophaguses by the time they finally get out they are generally insane by that point to me this is just a bit too try-hard with the whole vampire thing they got going on on top of that if an aspirant wakes up early just [ __ ] put him back to sleep why waste precious jean seed and time on someone is going to lose their marbles the grey night trails are just plain silly there are so many of them that it's next to impossible to actually succeed hence why there is [ __ ] all grey knights running around the problem with that is that the grain art aspirants are extremely rare whilst pretty much all the other chapters could recruit nearly anyone into their ranks grey knight aspirants have to be psyches and have one in a billion genetics any who fail the grey knight trials are killed considering only like one in ten thousand past the trials and that's a low ball estimate i've seen people say one in a million that's a lot of [ __ ] dead people people that would have been great sanctioned psyches you know the type of people who could have been great inquisitors don't get me wrong gray nights are strong but i feel like the galaxy would benefit from more grey knights rather than just a handful of pretentious ones the iron hands trials are also pretty shitty if you fail them you become a servator i'm all for it being hard to be a space marine but look at the ultramarines their aspirants are volunteers for the process they're allowed to keep their memories as well as connections to loved ones and if they fail they don't get absolutely massacred and guess what the ultramarines maintain high numbers and excellent standard of soldiers proving that being able to endure seven spiked metal rods in your ass at the same time is a silly way to determine if someone is fit to be in astartes the next grim derp topic is the silliness around certain imperial weapons did you know that many crews of bane blades are mentally incapable of being away from their tanks yeah it's got some [ __ ] to do with the fact that being in a beam blade is so hectic and loud and [ __ ] that they are unable to cope with the silence of real life like they go [ __ ] crazy if they aren't in their big ass tanks i don't even need to begin to explain why this is grim derp but that's my job so i will anyway firstly if you are so adjusted to noise and commotion that you lose your mind if it goes quiet how the [ __ ] do you sleep on top of that there is no trainable mechanism in the human brain that would make you crave constant noise and vibration like i've hit up some fat multiple day festivals getting [ __ ] blasted by function 1 speakers while getting bumped around by thousands of half-naked people pinging out of their brain and imma tell you that peace and quiet is definitely welcome at the end of the night it gets sillier though there's some obscure law that says guardsmen who witness the firing of a shadow sword volcano cannon which is that [ __ ] off big tank that can one-shot titans are sometimes executed for heresy this is because the shadow sword seems to use condensed psychic energy to help give it that extra oomph so to witness one fire it is like witnessing the warp it's very dumb it's very impractical and it is very grim derp like what the commissar has to be like alright men ear plugs in eye masks on fire the volcano cannon i mean you may as well just drop a nuke on the battlefield to take down the enemy titan if you're gonna have to execute your entire army if you want to shoot it the third grim derpness on this list is imperial warships when you look at a subreddit discussion about grim derp without fail it will always talk about how grim derp it is that pretty much all functions in a warship most notably the loading and firing of big ass [ __ ] missiles is done by human slaves manually instead of you know basic machinery this is dumb as not only does the technology exist to allow for automatic machine reloading of weapons the size of skyscrapers like the mechanicus literally uses those machines but the use of humans would be slower more prone to errors and way more expensive there is absolutely no reason to use slaves beyond the rider feeling the need to jerk themselves off with sandpaper while railing shards of glass but that's not all imperial ships get way derpier than that you know geller fields those force fields that trillions of people use to prevent themselves from receiving the demonic d whenever they want to travel faster than light a technology that has been present since before psyches were a thing yeah that was recently retconned to go from a special dark ager technology machine to instead become a comatose psycho that sleeps in the bowel of each and every ship like what adb came out and said they always thought that the geller fields were psyched dreams but never talked about it in the law till recently but that's dumb because humanity used geller fields during the dark age of technology to travel around but they had no psyches if gw had instead said with the progressive loss of important ancient technology including the stc to create complete gallifiers the imperium had to resort to comatosing its best and brightest psyches to fulfill the role of their ancient failing machines then it's like sure but to just go against established law because you want to pop in some random grim darkness tihi is ridiculous and very very grim derv on to the next bit of spurginess we have the uh activities of the inquisition don't get me wrong i'm actually a fan of the inquisition and i say their existence is necessary they can be incredibly well written like in the eisenhorn books however occasionally they are the cringiest [ __ ] you'll ever hear about and they make some of the derpiest decisions [ __ ] like the months of shame were ridiculous like i kinda understand that they wanted to purge armageddon due to being near angron for a bit but to exterminate us various established and flourishing imperial worlds because a refugee ship from armageddon stopped there to refuel is beyond [ __ ] stupid not to mention attempting to genocide the space wolves judging by how different characters reacted to the months of shame it's almost like gw knew how stupid it all was but decided to go for it anyways the inquisition gets derpier though they once knowingly released gene steelers onto a human world in order to study them and try capture one look i like the alien movies just as much as the next guy but sometimes you don't have to pay [ __ ] homage to every other setting to absolutely nobody's surprise the world had to be extermin artists it seems like there is two ways to write about the inquisition either you sniff glue for half an hour and then portray them as these illiteral gods who can do whatever they want with zero consequences or you can write them as a powerful yet grounded organization with complex politics and genuinely believable structure having the authority to doom billions of lives and cost trillions upon trillions of resources because you wanted to try recreate the alien movies is stupid no it's beyond stupid it's grim derp even good inquisitors sometimes get written like idiots for the sake of riders trying to be edgy at the end of the siege of racks the sisters of battles stationed on the planet were found they had been tortured broken and were basically insane yet they remained uncorrupted instead of rescuing them or helping them lord hector rex the hero of racks either sent them off to prisons or executed them what the [ __ ] the final and derpius mentioned on this list is the grey knights because the inquisition are so [ __ ] that they need to take up two slots the derpiness of the grey knight stems from the fact that they are supposed to be so [ __ ] perfect as i said for the creation of one grey knight thousands of extremely bright people had to die so when they do dumb grim derp [ __ ] it hits a lot harder a lot of the months of shame was due to the grey knights being too [ __ ] whipped by the inquisition to put a stop to the madness but that is only the beginning i'm sure many of you have heard about the now retconned incident of the grey knights encounter with some sisters of battle basically a world was getting cucked by demons however the sisters of battle on it were able to resist the demonic taint when the grey knights arrived they played a game of who wants to be a millionaire did they a back up the sisters and perch the demons with them b evacuate the sisters and praise them for their fortitude c disarm the sisters and take them into custody so they could be evaluated for taint or d massacre the sisters and then bathe in their blood that's right option d the grey knights murdered these hyper loyal sisters and rub their entrails all over their armor as some kind of demonic ward but like grey knights are already warded from demons they're [ __ ] grey nights how does the entrails of the innocent help if anything that would hinder even though this has been retconned the grey boys still do silly [ __ ] every gray night bullet is blessed okay yes seems normal until you realize that the blessing of each bullet requires the sacrifice of a righteous man what the [ __ ] at least all these failed granite applicants aren't going to waste i suppose by having each bullet requiring the death of an innocent that means it's almost impossible for a grey knight to kill more demons than it does loyal humans nice there's also a weird bit of lore that says any imperial citizen without enough clearance cannot witness a grey knight or demons if they do so they are to be executed or sterilized not only has this been contradicted in the law like there's a common imperial children's song that talks about safeguarding against the horrors of the warp but it's also just stupid there is no reason why grey knight should be wildly secret from the imperium chaos already knows about grey knights so does the elder and other zenos a normal imperial world would see a grey knight and just assume it's another space marine what makes this properly grim derp however is just how inconsistent it is watches of the throne had graynards fighting out in the open on terror siege of rax had grey knights leading the charge it's clear that this rule was just another grim death moment spawned from one or two riders trying way too hard i do love reading about grim derp moments purely just to remind myself that anyone can make an absolute ass of themselves if you have any other grim derp moments you remember chuck them down in the comments below i want to read that [ __ ] if you enjoyed the video and you want to support the channel then patreon is the place to be only 1 per month give you access to a boatload of battle mace 40 million hentai hit the subscribe button then hit the real subscribe button for more grim derp content join the discord for more memes and i'll see you in the next one peace [Music] to me [Music]

Channel: Majorkill

Views: 365,944

Keywords: Warhammer, 40k, Fantasy, lore, Story, Explained, Australia, Australian, Majorkill, Gamesworkshop, xenos, Laer, Great Cruisade, Astartes, Astarte, Space Marine, legion, Primarchs, Emperor, top 5, top 10, Tau, Tyranids, Eldar, Dark Eldar, Necrons, Space, Sigmar, Chaos, Khorne, Nurgle, Tzeentch, Slaanesh, Rogal Dorn, Imperial Fists, Yellow, Legion, Ultramarines, Guilliman, TTS, epic, gaming, legendary, Necron, Sister of Battle, Xeno, Thunder Wariors, Custodes, Alpharius, Dreadnought, Victory, Doomed, Galaxy, Imperial, Grimderp, Funny

Id: qoA0iFs7kNQ

Length: 12min 45sec (765 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 16 2021