Top 10 Norm Macdonald Moments

hey you want to feed that donkey some beer hey everyone i'm rebecca and welcome to watch mojo today we're showing you our favorite norm mcdonald moments and in music news number one on the college charts this summer was better than ezra and at number two ezra for this list in honor of norm's memory we're going to let the comedian's most iconic and hysterical bits do the talking for themselves and by the way 100 of the proceeds from this video will go to the canadian cancer society as part of our mojo gives initiative all right let's get to it please welcome courtney thornsmith [Music] [Applause] [Music] you are making a movie with carrot top right i made a movie with carrot top okay you've made a movie with carrot top it's it's not out yet wait a minute she left melrose place to do a movie with carrot top that's where i'm going my friend it's like nine and a half weeks but carrot taught what you're doing wow i gotta check out that movie is it called nine and a half seconds title undetermined at this point chairman of the board oh all right do something with that you freak i i bet the board has spelled b-o-r-e-d so paul paul yesterday i piled the wife and kids into the station wagon we go out to dinner so this so this waiter comes to our table paul he's one of the real oily guy you know those kind of guys real oily he looks right at me gives me one of these like enjoying your shrimp enjoy your shrimp and you know what else they got now apparently is cheech from cheech and chong he's on the show as well oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he plays a sidekick and you know i was thinking about this this afternoon paul that seems kind of silly to me you know when you think about it you're making your serious crime drama you know you don't want to cast cheeks that seems you know you know who they should have got for that role don't you bob who's that well they should have got chongi according to retailers the most popular halloween mass this year is o.j simpson and the most popular halloween greeting is i'll kill you and that guy who's bringing over your glasses or a treat arriving back in the u.s after his week in london o.j simpson was asked by a reporter why he hadn't spent mother's day with his children a visibly annoyed simpson replied idiot i didn't spend mother's day with my kids because i killed their mother well o.j simpson's lawyers stopped feuding this week finally the dream team f lee bailey and robert shapiro were able to put aside their differences and express their admiration for each other after o.j threatened to cut their heads off in his book o.j simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for nicole man i'm going to tell you that is some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you kills you [Applause] you don't get worse luck than that our top story tonight this week in the o.j simpson trial after grisly photos of the murdered nicole brown simpson were shown in court o.j turned his head away and wept it was at that moment that he realized he would never be able to kill her again when i was young there was a fella uh by went by the name of jacques de gautier and he was from this caming cadec and jacques de gautier he was a fella that really thought and he went uh to the over across the pond to the fellas with cambridge and he even stood up to them and we thought boy he's going to be the next we had jammer shah gerald tarzier pierre trudeau the three wise men of quebec by god jacques de gatino was going to be the next give me the next gun yeah but he vanished one time i was in uh niagara falls and uh by uh gosh i went over to the uh uh sea world there you know how they have the sea world you know with the different fish you know i didn't know that but okay yeah but uh but he showed me to the place i wanted to see which is where they feed the the little baby dolphins because i love dolphins you know and uh who do i see there but jacques you were to be a great man jacques gattino and we were all you know we pinned our all of olive to mr kevin quebec pinned our hopes on you now that's a that's a hell of a burden for a man to have a town's hope pinned on them isn't it conan it is a lot big burden so he was feeding these baby dolphins you know and i said i'm ashamed of you jacques j got to know you could have done so many great things and he said well he said i think i'm serving a youthful purpose now i believe that uh [Applause] somebody said i gotta show you something they kick in a four mile hike to show you a dog turd [Applause] so then a year and a half ago right i had a sort of a disagreement with the management at uh at the nbc uh i wanted to keep my job right and they felt the exact opposite but now this is the weird part right it's only a year and a half later and now they asked me to host the show so i wondered i go hey wait a second here hey well how did i go in a year and a half from being not funny enough to be even allowed in the building to being so funny that i'm now hosting the show how did i suddenly get so goddamn funny so i want to start with john stamos our esteemed roastmaster john well john has a reputation for being a bit of a swinger did you know instead of an umbilical cord john was born with a bungee cord gilbert godfrey one of my best friends i love gilbert when you go to the men's room later you'll see a sign that says gentlemen pay no heed go right in there's no room that says scoundrel on it now but bob has a beautiful face like a flower yeah cauliflower [Applause] no offense but your face looks like a cauliflower no there are times when bob has something on his mind when he wears a hat now he's a good guy he's a good guy he's never bought christmas seals he told me he wouldn't know what to feed them and finally back again burt reynolds in a commanding lead with 14 hey hey check out the podium look at this mr reynolds has apparently changed his name to turd ferguson that's right dirt ferguson's a funny name great mr reynolds unfortunately you're in the lead so we'll start with you yeah i'll take the uh condom thing for uh 8 000. that's condiments for 400. mr reynolds it's still your board yeah well i want to give me uh i don't give any a tit for 200. it's not eight tits it's a petite never mind let's just go to animal sounds for 600. this is the sound a doggy makes burt reynolds who is um scooby-doo no yeah that was a funny dog scooby-doo he drove around the van and uh solved mysteries that is incorrect no that's correct i remember you had a pal scrappy dude no mr reynolds what are you doing yeah i found this backstage uh oversized hat funny no it's not sure it it's funny it's funny because it's uh bigger than a normal hat i see that get back to your podium take a look at that yeah i see it go back to your podium it's not funny ah thanks guys listen i don't want to brag or anything but me and oprah are making the same money tonight but hey this occurred to me today i d i d which i had to show it again there's a strange abbreviation when you think about it i is short for i and then d is short for identification the only country that really worries me is uh the country of germany i don't know if you guys are history buffs or not but uh in the early part of the previous century germany decided to go to war and who did they go to war with the world but you think at that point the world will go listen germany here's the deal you don't get to be a country no more on a county you keep attacking the world [Applause] i'd just like to say i know that uh mr letterman is uh uh not for the marquis and he has he has no truck for the sentimental but if something is true it is not sentimental and i say in truth i love [Applause] my you oh my god see in the old days a man could just get sick and die you know now they have to wage a battle so my uncle bert is waging a a courageous battle and this is the battle he's lying in a hospital bed with a thing in his arm watching matlock on the tv of that battle i i got on the box set of matlock and the reason i don't like it is because in the old days they go hey that old man died now they go hey he he lost his battle that's no way to end your life you know what a loser that guy was last thing he did was lose and i'm pretty sure i'm not a doctor but i'm pretty sure if the cancer dies i mean if you die the cancer also dies at exactly the same time so that to me is not a loss that's a draw that's a you know it's not like like for instance today i was driving in a car you were kind enough to bring a car to bring this old chunk of coal here to the studio we send we send cars for our guests yeah yeah so i got in it and that's i you know i get material that way so what do you mean how do you get material that way you get in the car and what happens uh my driver tells me a joke a moth goes into a podiatrist's office a moth goes into a podiatrist office you are correct a moth goes into a podiatrist's office and the potatoes office says what's the problem and the most says what's the problem where do i begin man he goes i go to work for uh gregory olinovich and all day long i work honestly doc i don't even know what i'm doing anymore i don't even know if gregory olinovich knows he only knows that he has power over me at night i sometimes wake up and i turn to some old lady in my bed that's on my arm a lady that i once loved doc i don't know where to turn to my youngest alexandria she fell in the in the cold of last year nicole took her down as it did many of us i no longer love him as much as it pains me to say when i look in his eyes all i see is the same cowardice that i that i catch when i take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror if only the cowardice was stronger than perhaps i'm not feeling good and so the moss the the doctor says moth man you're troubled but you should be seeing a psychiatrist why on earth did you come here and then the ma said because the light was on [Applause] [Music] you

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Keywords: Norm Macdonald, Norm Macdonald SNL, Norm Macdonald Weekend Update, Norm Macdonald bio, Norm Macdonald death, Norm Macdonald funniest moments, SNL, Saturday Night Live, Weekend Update, best SNL, best Weekend Update, cancer, charity, comedy, funniest, funniest SNL, funniest Weekend Update, list, mojo gives, top 10, tribute, watchmojo watch mojo

Id: WeZLNx5BZeE

Length: 15min 34sec (934 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 15 2021