Todd White - Including God in Everything

I need your help I can't do this. I can't do, this I'm weak, and I need you. I need you Lord, it's not just a song it's a lifestyle. I can't even pump gas without Jesus. People laugh at that, but I'm really not kidding you. He doesn't expect me to pump gas without Him. The problem is we can do most of what we do without Him and we're used to it. And it's time that we become unused to being without Him. It's really true. You know there are denominations that are against this they're... you know you heard the Southern Baptist pastor that said, If me the heathen can do it so can I. You heard him say that today. It was beautiful. I mean, I don't care what you call me. God calls me a son, so even if you called me a Heathen, it doesn't matter. I used to be one, but I died. I mean literally. Like I literally died. That guy is dead. He's long gone. He doesn't exist anymore. There's nothing about who I used to be that exists today. People ask me. What's the most powerful testimony that you've ever seen? And here it is guys. It's a life that doesn't look anything like it used to. That people don't even recognize who you are. The day that you get saved your whole life changes and absolutely nobody recognizes you anymore. And they think you're a freak and you're okay with that because you're not a freak you're a son, and you know who your father is. We have to be more dependent upon Him. We are actually supposed to be co-laborers with God. We are not supposed to do things on our own. Do you think that David could of did what he did without God? Goliath is on the field and David comes down into the valley, and David has killed the lion and the bear when no one was looking but God. And David had silent private victories and then he faced a giant publicly, and God took him out too. We need to win private victories with Jesus. We need to know that He's the one that fights our battles for us. See your weakness is a magnet for God's strength. But some of us are too strong for that. We don't want to look weird. We don't want to look undignified. Who cares what you look like? And I'm not talking about moral failure. That's not acceptable at all. Compromised Christianity is demonic. Any grace that doesn't lead to complete transformation of a life is demonic in nature. So I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about being on fire burning with Jesus, not caring what anybody says about you in any situation whatsoever. That when people are mean to you, you don't calm their harsh word with a harsh one. You read your Bible and the word becomes your life. And you calm a harsh word with a kind one. When people are mean to you, you don't call your friends and gossip. When people treat you wrong, you don't call 15 people at your church. And say well, you don't know what they did to me, and complain just like the children out in the wilderness. That's not Christianity. That's demonic doctrine if you believe that someone preached that and that should be yours it's not yours. It's the devil's. So get it out of your mouth. If Jesus didn't say it, It shouldn't be in our mouths. It's the truth. Christianity is the most amazing fun life that I've ever experienced ever. And everybody has been against me. And it doesn't matter because God is for me, and I'm never gonna die. See people like no no no there's the time gonna put off the tent. Yes there is, but Jesus said I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, will never die. What does that mean? That means that one day, one day! I don't, no matter where I don't know when it's gonna happen. I mean the way that Robbie lives. I put myself in the most dangerous situations because I'm not afraid. You can't kill me. I'm not kidding you.You're like well you're popping off. I don't care what people think I love Jesus. When I live, to live is Christ and to die is gain. It is a privilege to give my life for the gospel. He who seeks to save his life will lose it. But he who loses his life for His sake will find it. You can't find life unless you give up what you think you have. You cannot have the true Christian life unless you're ready to surrender all. Jump into the basket. It doesn't matter what people think, doesn't matter what people say. You spend time with Jesus in the private place in the secret place, and you seek the Father in secret. You worship Him and you cry out. And you say God I don't understand the book. And if I don't understand I can't become who you say I am. So God you have to make it real. Holy Spirit you authored this Word. This Word is You. Make me become the word in action. Make my life become the very words that I'm reading on this page. God I give my everything to you. If everybody's against me. If everybody's shouting at me. If people are spitting on me. If people are beating me. I'm still going to worship You with every breath that I take. With every drop of sweat on my body, with every ounce of blood inside of me, I will worship Jesus. A totally surrendered Christian life, that's what God's asking you. Because you were never created for you, you were created for Him. Lots of people like to hold on to their life and keep some stuff back and say well, I'll try this. I'll give you this much Lord. That is not the Gospel. Do you think that the disciples, if they live that way, do you think that the gospel would have carried on? Come on Jesus did not say go into the world and make confessing Christians. He didn't say that. He didn't say, "I want you to go into the world and I want you to get people to pray a prayer." "And then move on to the next one to get them to pray a prayer. And move to the next one get them to pray a prayer." He said, "Go into all the world and make disciples." What is a disciple? Come on. I'm not talking about not leading somebody to salvation. Salvation is the most amazing thing ever. But He didn't just say get people to pray a prayer. He said get people to surrender their whole life Everything for Jesus. All to Jesus I surrender. All to Jesus. Who's your dad? Who's your daddy? I'm really not kidding you. Who is your father? Do you think that your DNA depends upon your earthly father? If you do you're deceived. If you think that your life is the product of your parents, you are deceived. Because no matter how good your mom and your dad are, when you get born again, it means to be re-fathered. To have a brand-new dad. Ooh and he's the best dad ever. But the theory of the great dad isn't any good at all. But knowing Him and walking with Him and talking with Him, and experiencing Him every day. Waking up and knowing that he says, " I love you" every day. Knowing that he has a daisy that every petal says, "I love you. I love you." I'm really not kidding. I live like that every day. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me then you're weird. Yep. He loves me. You know why I'm weird? People I'm telling you. People have told me since the beginning of my life. Dude you're like in Christ, well before Christ too. They said, "You're out of your mind." And before Christ I was. Serious. But after Jesus came and possessed me, I found out that I wasn't out of my mind. I'm just into His and I'm out of yours. It changes everything and I'm not talking about being morally twisted. Like being twisted, drugs, alcohol, pornography all that stuff. Not at all. See I try to hold it together all the time. Like you can ask my wife. Um I try, I try really hard And I'm like freaking out inside because I know that God wants to touch everybody. I know that He does because without an encounter you're useless for the Kingdom. I'm going to say it again. You probably didn't like that, so I'm saying it louder. Without an encounter with the one and only true God, you're useless for the Kingdom. Because without an encounter of him and his presence, you are representing the world with and incorporated Jesus. I'm not being mean. Do you know that Jesus told the disciples? Do you know Jesus shows up John 20. Jesus is he's crucified, resurrected. Mary comes in freaks out says he's not there. Then in John 20, they're all in a room. They're hiding because of fear. This is like a real spirit of fear do you understand? Like they saw Jesus getting mutilated on the tree. By the way, when Jesus was mutilated on the tree... Do you know how mutilated he was? Do you know what the Bible says? He was marred beyond any man. You couldn't recognize him on the tree. So The Passion did an amazing job. I mean it was really really grotesque. But it wasn't as grotesque as the Bible states Jesus looked. He was a hanging piece of meat, a piece of shredded meat on a tree. Do you know that Jesus was marred beyond any man? He was mutilated beyond. It's hard for our minds to understand that. It was hard for mine until I saw this. See...Yes by His stripes we're healed. Jesus was striped for healing. It says that. By His stripes, by His wounds, we are healed. He was pierced for our transgressions. He was he was wounded because of our iniquities. Because of our sickness he bore in His body our sicknesses so we can be healed. That's true. But it's more than that. See God created us in His image in the garden. He created man in the likeness of God. He did. But man took on the very nature of God's enemy. The day that man fell, he took on the nature of God's enemy. Not just in his mind, but in his whole person. So Jesus was on that tree, and he was completely unrecognizable. Why? Because he had to become unrecognizable. Why? Yes for healing, but more than that. See we were created in God's image, but took on the very nature of the devil. Took on the very persona of Hell itself. So Jesus became unrecognizable, so that you and I, because we didn't look like anything we were created to be. So Jesus became unrecognizable so that you and I could become recognizable to the Father. Oh it's so crazy. It's so sweet. It's so amazing what a love story. It's a love story. It's an intimate love story about a king that loved His people so much... that He chose to come and die. He left everything to come down here. The cross isn't the revelation of how sinful and nasty you were only. See the cross is the revelation of your value. How valuable you were to the Father. The measure of something's worth, is always determined by the price that was paid for it. And Heaven went bankrupt to get you back. So Jesus came to establish your worth, to show you how much you were worth to the Father. But we teach people in the church. You're a worm. You're worthless. You're a piece of dirt. Not at all. Why would heaven have paid such a high price for me, if I wasn't of any value to the Father? See your value is determined by the price that was paid for it. So when you look in the mirror and say I'm worthless, you're saying Jesus was worthless. Oh that changes everything. Then all of a sudden my identity becomes secure. And guess who makes your identity really secure? The Holy Ghost. The one that a lot of people are afraid of. We're more afraid of the Holy Spirit, then we are the devil. Because the devil 's normal. Because he's the god of this world. I'm telling you the truth. See a lot of us want to be in control, but that's not how this thing works see. You have to like, let, Jesus take the wheel. And we have this white-knuckle grip on this thing because we think, "We got it. It's okay." ,"We can do it whoo that was bumpy we got it." Wrong. Wrong. God doesn't just want some of you. He wants all of you. He wants everything. What's it worth to be scared anymore? Do you really like to be afraid? What would it be like for you to go through life without any fear? Ever. What would it be like for you to go through life without any guilt? Ah. See this is like such a foreign gospel to a lot of people. It is. When I got saved guilt, shame and condemnation got completely crucified on a tree. Oh. No, no, no. You don't understand. See. This. Why I'm so messed up, is because 13 years ago I really really believed. I didn't believe a little bit. I believed all of it. I believed that He took my sin and He threw it away, into a sea He named forgetfulness. I believed that He took my sin and nailed it to a tree. He wiped out the handwriting against me. I believe that the day I said, "I do," God looked at me and said, "I am." You have to see this. It's the Gospel. It's the Good News. It's not a bummer. It's amazing. God takes your life, and he doesn't just clean it a little bit. See. We think that God digs up our stuff because he wants to remind us to never go back. That's a life from hell. You could preach it all you want, but it's a lie. Why would Jesus pay full penalty for everything, for God to remind you of it again and again and again and again and again? And if you have to beg God to forgive you, you have to wonder if He did. You better see the cross and you better see the finished work. Because when Jesus said it was finished it really was. See there was a veil that separated man from God. And only the high priest could go back there in the Holy of Holies, and spend time with God, and offer blood of animals. And here's the truth. The Jew... The Jew has no faith, not the Messianic, but the Jew believes that the blood of Jesus isn't real. Because they don't believe that Jesus was the one. I'm telling you the truth. And they believe in the blood of bulls and goats and animals. Listen. The blood of bulls and goats and animals had no possibility of cleansing your conscience from dead works. So your mind constantly was condemned and you constantly remembered your sin all the time. Even though He atoned for it on the outside, He didn't remove it from the inside. Because there wasn't any way to remove it from the inside. See that was symbolic, for Jesus to come. See when Jesus came, I'm talking about our King. I'm talking about something that is amazing. The miracles are amazing. But what good would it be for you to raise the dead and look in the mirror and be condemned? What good would it be for you to prophesy the most amazing accurate word, and not be able to live with yourself because of guilt, shame and condemnation. I'm talking about a word called righteousness. And the one that enforces righteousness is the Holy Ghost. See the Bible says that Jesus who knew no sin... See He became the lamb. He became the offering. When he was on that tree, It says that all of my sins and all of my lawless deeds, were nailed to Him on that tree. And every bit of my sin, my shame, my twisted life... All of it, was completely wiped out never to be remembered again. But we teach people and we bring all kinds of things in, because we want to bring freedom to people. People have told me you can't preach this. It's too strong. I mean there's a big process that people have to go through. If your process is on the wrong side of the cross, you'll live there your whole life. But if your process is from the finished work... You will enter into the promised land and be free from guilt shame and condemnation. This is a guy... My mics messed up a little sorry. This is a guy that committed the worst, heinous, twisted, whacked-out stuff and hurt the most people ever. And when I said "Yes" to Jesus he went and washed it all away. We're like, "No no no it has to be harder." No, no no. it's the Jesus button. No, no, no, it's the King of glory. It's the reason why He came. Why do you think it's the good news? The good news is that - What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the Blood Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the Blood Jesus. Oh precious is the flow that makes me white as snow. No other fountain I know. Nothing but the blood of Jesus. I'm talking about righteousness. See the Jew has no faith in the blood of Jesus, unless they're a Messianic Jew and they're born-again. The average Christian has the same faith in the blood of Jesus, as the Jew does in the blood of bulls and goats. I'm not popping off. I'm telling you the truth. If Jesus truly forgave and forgot, our Sin, removed it wiped it out completely. Then why would you keep revisiting it? It's an epidemic. See the Bible says that he removed my sin as far as the East is from the West. I've been teaching this for 13 years because I don't know another Gospel. See tonight what's going to happen is, I'm just going to share on righteousness a little. Then I'm going to share on miracles. And then the Holy Spirit is going to baptize and set you on fire, so that you don't doubt any more. What good is it to be condemned anymore? Why would I want to put myself under condemnation when Moses was given the law and it was the Ministry engraved on stones. It was the Ministry of condemnation. But Jesus came. Jesus came and it says that we've been given a different ministry. And it's not the Ministry of condemnation. It's the Ministry of Righteousness, which has much more glory. See it's by the Spirit. When the Holy Spirit reveals this to you, you will never revisit your sin again. As a matter of fact there are so many people that have stains of sin in their body. Stains from a life of sin. Hepatitis,cuts, wounds just slice marks. All kinds of stuff. Venereal diseases. Sexually transmitted diseases. They have in their body from yesterday, and they can't get rid of it. I got news for you. You have to understand something see. I brought so much twisted stuff into my body because of drug use all over the years and Jesus went and cleaned everything. Why? Because it's the Good News. See if sin brought a stain into your body, and it was a life that you've been forgiven of, God doesn't want to keep it there. He wants to remove it so that you never think about it ever again. That's an amazing King! What's it like? To have a venereal disease because of a life that you wish you never lived. Whether it was one time or several times. You got bit, and then you give your life to Jesus. And all of a sudden that thing disappears. Why? Because it has no right to you anymore. Because you're not that type of girl. Oh you don't get it, but you're going to. Because He's coming and I'm not kidding. It's going to be amazing. What about slice marks on your arm? You're a cutter and you can't believe you just hate life, and it's depressing. Man just a year ago at one thing, we had 51 kids' scars disappear. People are like, "Well I don't believe that." Well that's because you're a doubter. That's because you're an unbeliever. You're an unbelieving believer. That's because you believe enough to get to heaven, but probably not enough for heaven to get into you. I'm not being mean. I'm just being truthful. Jesus did not pay a price just to get you to heaven. He paid a price so that you can be fully possessed by Heaven itself. So that you could destroy the works of the devil, every day of your life. And any place you see death, loss and destruction, you have the right to make it stop. I'm so serious. This is what takes a kindergartner and turns them into a Holy Ghost monster. Because they don't have to be untaught anything. You just teach them that they go and heal the sick. They'll go up to a broken bone and say, "In Jesus name." Oh I know it because mine do! Oh oh Lord Jesus help me. God please. Help me. I love Him so much, but I'm not intimidated and I'm not afraid. I really am not. You can't kill me. I'm never gonna die. It's what Robbie taught today. It's what makes people invincible. It does. See the military brainwashes people. I get it I was in the Marines, but it washes your brain with the wrong substance. When your brain is washed with the blood of Jesus, you're washed with the right substance. As your mind and your conscience and your sins they get forgiven. And the blood of Jesus courses through and washes you as white as snow. And you look in the mirror and you're not even the person that you were the day before. I'm talking like night and day complete change. Oh I can't get there been a Christian 30 years. Believe! Believe! Believe! Believe!! The blood of Jesus. Believe the cross. Believe the cross. People persecute me and and sit there and protest me. All I do is preach the cross. I don't have anything else to preach. They're like all he does is preach miracles. No the cross is the miracle. The cross actually transforms your heart so that you can't hate anymore. The cross transforms your life so that you can't get mad at people anymore. The cross gives you the ability to never be offended anymore. The cross gives you the ability to never be condemned, to never be guilty, to never be ashamed, to never be afraid. The cross gives you the ability to let go of all the unforgiveness that you are holding onto. Because it's junk and it's not hurting them. It's killing you. The cross is the only way. It cuts quick. It cuts deep. See tonight it's gonna cut quick and deep and strong, and when you come to you'll be free. You're like well, you're you're you're quoting some you're you're talking some big stuff. No no no I'm just talking about Him. Do you know how big God is? Do you know how small we are? Do you know that He wants to fit all of Himself in us? No no wait hold on. Get this. It says the universe is expanding at the speed of light, in every direction. Every second speed of light every direction. God never said stop. It's going still. Every direction 186,000 miles per second. And God holds that universe in the palm of His hand. So even though it's expanding at the speed of light, it still fits in His palm the whole time. Listen to me. God says that He wants to fill us with His fullness. And it's all according to the love of God, that's in Christ Jesus. So if we don't get Christ Jesus, and what God did on the tree... then we can never be filled with His fullness, and you'll stay filled with you. It's really simple. It's so simple that Jesus says you have to come like a child. Because if you're going to be an adult you can't get it. That makes it a bummer for smart people. Not a real bummer because all you have to do is have a bigger heart than your brain. Am I making any sense because I feel like I'm spinning my wheels? I'm sweating profusely. I'm in love with Jesus. I believe, I just believe. I believe that somebody's going to get it. I believe and it's not just going to be a conference. It's not just a school that you're in. I believe that your life's going to a be changed. I believe that everywhere you go your life's going to be changed. I believe that your relatives aren't going know you ever. They aren't going to know who you are. And you're not going to be afraid to at share family reunions anymore. Because you've got a bunch of religious relatives that they just don't believe the way you believe. So rather than cause a ruckus you be quiet and send them to hell. I'm so tired of that passionless Basket headed Christianity, that's demonic. I'm tired of it. You're tired of it too. You just don't know another way. Well once you find Him, He is the way. What is He? He's the way to the Father. Jesus said things like the same things that I do. He who believes in Me is going to do. That's so weird people are trying to explain that away. Well that just means that we can lead more people to salvation than Jesus. No, that's not what He said. What kind of things that Jesus do? Oh my goodness. The books couldn't contain it. All the books in the world couldn't contain it. And He didn't say the body of Christ that believes. He said, He who believes. That's singular. Oh people are like, well you're just you're just a little too much. No, no,no. I'm not out of my mind. I'm into His and I'm out of yours. You need to get out of yours and into His. You can't afford to think so small when God is so big. He has made a way. He kicked the devil in the teeth. When Jesus was raised from the dead... Jesus went to the pit of hell and paid for the sin of mankind. And when he came up out of there, He led captivity captive and the devil knew that he had been whooped. But he knew that people just like Adam and Eve would live by feelings. So he called the big huddle the day that Jesus was resurrected. He knew that he'd been crushed. He knew that he had been beat. He knew that there was no way for him to conquer, unless... Unless he could play on the feelings of man. Unless he could play with people's minds. That's what he does. Robby talked about today. Second Corinthians chapter 10 verse 4. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal. They're not worldly. But they are mighty in God for pulling down strongholds. Where is a stronghold that he's talking about? He's talking about strongholds that are right here. But see you think that you can pull down strongholds, because of your brilliance and your smart memorization of Scripture. And Jesus didn't say for you to be a great memorizer. He said for you to be an overcomer. See it's not just memorization. As a matter of fact, It's going go a little deeper. See the baptism in the Holy Spirit some people say that the evidence is speaking in tongues, but that's not what Jesus said. Jesus didn't say when you're baptized in the Holy Spirit you're just going to speak in tongues. If tongues are it. That's like when you get baptized in water you just get wet .It's over. He didn't say that. He said when He comes, you will be endued with power. You will be endued with power. Then you will be my witness. He didn't say you're going to do witnessing He said you will be endued with power, and then you will be my witnesses to the ends of the earth. And the last time I checked, this is part of that the ends of the earth. Which means Walmart. Grocery stores. Drugstores. Gas pumps. Do you know how many encounters I've had gas pumps? So amazing. Instead of worrying about the price of gas. I go over and pay for the guy on the other side. Whoa hold on I'm not rich. Neither am I, but your Dad is. Guys. We serve an amazing King. And I know what it's like to have everybody look down at you. When you say yes to Jesus. I was a drug addict for 22 years. Atheist my whole life and hated Christians more than any other religion, because they were hypocrites. Hypocrites. Jesus talked about it like a lot. Hypocrisy. I hated them more than anything. I did. I didn't want anything to do with them. I hated them They go to church and do their thing, and then live totally different. Watch Christians at restaurants after they leave church. You see them all dressed up in suit and tie. They sit there and yell at their wife at the table. After they just worshiped Jesus at a church. What do you really have? You have yourself that's what happens. And I'm not being mean. If the shoe fits kick it off. It's not your shoe. It's not supposed to be. I hated it. I hated it so bad. I was a train wreck and I hurt so many people. So many people. I hurt my girl for nine years. I destroyed her. I hurt my mom so bad. I grew up in a children's home. My mom couldn't handle me. And I get put in a home and I'm in there, and I hate life. Why did you give me up? She didn't give me up. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to do, and I'm raised by Masons. I don't know who Masons are. I don't have any idea what the Masonic organization is. When I mention that there are these deliverance people that are like, "Oh my gosh he has Masonic roots in him. He need cut him off." Stop it! Jesus does a really good job. Really. Do you know I talk about the blood of Jesus and I talk about this, and people get offended? They do. They're like well you know not everybody believes that way. If the blood of Jesus violates your ministry you ought to quit. You ought to read your Bible. You ought to go back to the basic, the cross, Jesus Christ and him crucified. There is nothing else. Nothing nothing nothing. My whole life was a mess. Eleven years old in a home. Five and a half years in there get out. I joined the military. Because they're looking for a few good men. I'm going to be the man. I'm going to join the Marines and hoorah. Tough. Machine. You ain't touching me. And then after boot camp I came home went back, started partying, gone. I left I went AWOL. You are not gonna hold me down and I left. People are like, "Todd I already heard your testimony." Well listen again. Because there's more. Testimonies are the most powerful thing don't ever get tired of sharing your life, and what Jesus did. Just don't don't revisit your past apart from the blood of Jesus. Or you ask a spirit of offense to come into your present life, and bear dead fruit in your present reality. Don't ever revisit where you came out of, except for the blood of Jesus and what he sets you free from. Ever! I'll never ever forget where I came from. Because if He could do it in me, He can do it in anybody. If He could deliver me and set me free, He can set any one of you free. Come on. Any one of you can be free. Any one of you. Any one of you. So I went AWOL, I ran away. And I get busted out in Colorado, and I get put in jail and I get extradited across the US. And I get put in the brig. I get out of the brig after about five and a half months, and I'm like, "I do not want to be here." They're like, "Well you have to stay." I say "No I don't." They said, "Yes you do." But they let me stay in the barracks which has an open door. So I packed my stuff and said, "See ya," and went AWOL again. And I went right back out to the very place I got arrested at before. Not smart. I wasn't on the smart list. I didn't do well in school. I was stoned the whole time. I didn't care what people thought. I never read a book before. I couldn't read. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't comprehend. I was all about me. All I could think about was me. How I was going to get mine. How was I going do this. How was I going to do that. All that stuff. So now I get extradited back the second time I get put in the brig. Get busted a year later. I made it a whole year. I was living the dream. A nightmare. I get put in jail again, in the Brig. It's not like a regular jail. It's a little bit different. In the Marines brig is a little, a lot different than you think. But I got out they kicked me out. Gave me a bad conduct discharge, a big chicken dinner. Bad deal doesn't look good on resumes, so you don't tell the truth. You lie to get jobs and I was a professional. I was the best liar ever. That's not something to be proud of, but I'm not kidding. You ask my mom. Is she here? Was I a good liar? I'm not proud of it, but I'm trying to help you understand who I was. Because that guy really died. But listen let me get to the death part, because that's really good. Because the death of me, is where life started. But anyway I get kicked out I come home, and I'm in trouble all the time. Just can't get it right. Get jobs in sales. Now you don't have to be a liar to be in sales, but I was. I was. I would mold and chameleon to any situation I was, to get the sale. And I had many jobs not just one two three four. I'm talking more than 50, 60. Just because jobs were like I'd get one any other day. Just get another job Get another job. Get another job. Make Commission. Whatever. Buy my drugs. So anyway then I'm going to bars, and I'm I'm hanging out at clubs. Because that's where the women are. And then I met one, whoo! And she was going to be mine. Ain't nobody gonna stand in my way. Because I was going to get what I wanted, and I did. I pursued her. Actually stalked her. Literally. Like badly. I waited in her house for five hours till she came home. Inside of her house. I'm serious. I'd talk her brother into letting me come in. I just wanted,I brought a rose. And I just wanted to, just just wanted to, you know just say hi. It's okay. Can I just watch TV with y'all? Come on in man. Sit on the couch five hours, and she never came home. Crazy. Anyway, kept going, kept going. Then I got her. Mine. And then about a year and a half in she gets pregnant. Uh Oh. That's... that's not what I wanted. I wasn't looking to like, I wasn't looking to try to step into responsibility. See children are a responsibility. They are. See. See when I was born my mom and dad they weren't thinking let's have a baby. They were thinking... Let me put, let me just let me break it down. Listen when a man and a woman come together... It's okay it's true. I don't care how old your kids are they've got to learn someday. You should tell them sooner so the world won't teach them. So when a man and a woman come together they they do, and then all of a sudden there is this release. From the man in the woman. And then of of millions of these, of these swimming swimmers. Millions. Millions. Now I see people, "Oh honey shh don't listen to this." Millions of swimmers. All of them are headed by natural instinct to the egg. All of them, and it's not a long distance. So all of them are going and a lot of them have tools. They have jackhammers. They have sledgehammers. They have saws. They're trying to get in the egg. 80 million! Trying to get in the egg. Jackhammers. Sledgehammers. Saws. Trying to get in the egg. All by natural instinct and it's only this big. 80 million. So seventy nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine other ones are faster than me and they're all there already. And I don't have a tool and when I get there they're all... Smoke's in the way. It's crazy. But something pushes me through and they part like the Red Sea. Just like the Red Sea and I get in there without a tool. I don't have a saw! Nothing! It's crazy and all them outside are complaining. Who let that through? How'd they get through? What pushed me out of the way? But see my mind hasn't been trained by the world yet. I don't know what loss is. I don't know what lies are. I don't know what manipulation is. I just got in the egg. And my voice says to every other voice out there, because all life comes from God. My voice says, "Sorry guys I was predestined before the foundation of the world!" That's the truth. Whether your mom wanted you or your dad wanted you or not your identity, doesn't depend upon your parents. It depends upon your Father. Because all life comes from God. You are not a mistake. See as we go through life we learn that we're a mistake. We learn that we're trash. We learn that we're rejected. We learn that people don't like us. We learn that people don't love us. It is a learned behavior. The Bible is not a learned behavior. The Bible is not psychological. The Bible is supernatural. See when you see who you really are... The supernatural God that created you in the first place. That saw you and your darkest moments. In your twistedness and in your sin, and your shame, and your muck, and your mire He says, "I want that one." That's who your Daddy is. And He comes and He picks you up out of there. Come on. And he cuddles you, and he swaddles you. I don't care how old you. I don't care how long it took. That's who your Daddy is. All life comes from God. If your parents rejected you I've got great news for you. God has accepted you, in the beloved. You have been accepted in the beloved. And if you get accepted by God and that hits y,our heart, nobody can reject you. I have lived for 13 years in Christ and have never been rejected. Ever. Well that's impossible. No it's no.t I believe the gospel. When you say you don't believe in what I have, you're just groaning. You just need the Father. Well no no no. They're totally mean. My relatives they're mean. They treat me mean. You don't know what was done to me. You don't know how abused I was growing up. You don't know how I was mistreated. There's a key word in the phrase and I'm promising you It is this. It's my me I me. They did it to me. I they me. That is the issue. Come on I'm not making the big deal of what they did, and like it doesn't matter. But do you know what you did to Jesus? If you see the cross, what you have been through is nothing compared to what He did for you. And if you see what He did for you, what you went through goes away. And you become who He says you are and you're no longer the product of life. Oh. You're no longer the product of life, of what people say to you. What they've done to you. You're not the product of your situation. You're not an accident. You're not a mistake. No matter how you're here.The reason why you are is because God said, "I love you." And He said it through his son, and He said it to everybody. But not everybody believes. To him sometimes He's just a theory. Well I know he said he loves me but. No. Yeah but what if? The buts and what ifs are devils, trying to blind you from being loved by your Father. It's true. So we have our baby and she's born. And it's not like I didn't love my daughter. I did love my daughter. But I didn't know how to love my daughter, because I loved myself. And I didn't love myself like Jesus said. "Love God with all your heart, your soul, your mind, your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself." I didn't love myself that way. I loved me. It was all about me and what I could do for me. See what I loved was I loved mine. I had to be high. I had to get drugs. I had to get money. I had to be drunk. I had to have pornography. I was addicted to pornography at eight years old. That is not okay. I was twisted at a very young age. No one made me do that. I just found a pornography book and it looked bad. But then I thought well something's good in there. Because if my uncle liked it, then I should like it too. Because I looked up to my uncle. So at eight years old I stole it and took it home. And all of a sudden it became my life. How whacked out is that? So there I am twisted, whacked, baby. Now a couple months go by. I'm trying, But I just can't own up to responsibility. Depression hits me. I just don't want to be alive. I don't want to be in this world anymore. I want to be done and I thought of suicide. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be done. Just the easiest way is to run my car off the road and hit a tree, as hard as I could. Or maybe drink so much, and just forget about it, and just go driving and hit whatever. Or maybe just take a bunch of pills and drink a bunch of whiskey and be done. Or maybe just get as much crack cocaine as I can. Smoke the whole thing till my heart bursts. At least I'll have a great time doing it. That's how I thought. And then my girlfriend said, "I don't want to stay with you anymore. I found out that you lied to me." "You're not the man that you played that you were." And she found out. It was pretty easy. I kept it undercover for a while, but it wasn't okay. I was whacked out of my mind. And I was hurting her, and hurting my daughter, and hurting everybody. Because I had to get me, it was all mine. Breaks my heart to see Christians that are born again, that act the same way. It hurts my heart. It makes my heart cry because that's not who God created us to be. God created us to be fully in love with Him. God created you in His image and in His likeness. He made you. And He made you so that you could be like Him. We lost it in the garden. But Jesus restored that which was lost. And what was lost was our identity. And when you see your identity, you will never be hooked on you again. You'll be hooked on Jesus. But when you look in the mirror, you'll behold with the unveiled face the glory of the Lord. Why? Because He's in there. You'll see Him in there, and you will be excited about who you are. It changes everything. So years went by.... First year we made it. Very rough the first year. About 8 months since she said, "I'm going to leave you. I'm finding somebody to take care of me." That wasn't going to work. That wasn't going to happen. So I imagined killing whoever she was with. And I didn't imagine it a little bit. I thought about it every day. If it happened, how am I going to kill him? If I walk into the house and she's with somebody, what am I going to do? I'm going to get a big knife and I'm going to slice them both. I'm going to kill them both. I'm going to kill them. And then I'm going to kill myself. Why? Because I'm going to get busted after I do that. So I've got to go. I'm gonna leave my daughter with nobody. I thought about that stuff, and it happens everyday in the world. But that's what I was going to do. I was done. Years went by. Years and years and years. Seven and a half years of my daughter's life went by. I didn't know how to be a father. I was lost. I was confused. I was messed up. Totally twisted. Seven and a half years go by... I'm like as out there as out there as out there could be. I go out one night and come home. She took my daughter and left. I come home, I find a note from my little girl .It says, "Mommy's never coming home daddy. We're at Grandma's house." So I knew better than to go to Grandma's house, but I did know that there were rifles at another house. So I was going to go and I was going to get a rifle, and I was going to do what I promised I was going to do. So I went to the gun cabinet. on the way to the gun cabinet Then on the way to the gun cabinet I flipped open a phone book right on the mantel, right before I got to the gun cabinet, and it opened to churches. Now I'm not a church-going man. I am NOT a Christian that loves Jesus. I love myself. But I went and opened to churches, and I made a check at one a 586, and I drove to this church. And I went there as angry as you could possibly be. I said, "I need to talk to somebody right now." And this really smiley happy...pastor... "Come on in buddy." I'm like, "I am NOT your buddy." He goes, "OK how can I help you?" Todd-"Because I need to talk to somebody right now!" "I just came from a gun cabinet. I was going to blow my brains out." "And I made a check at one of these stupid churches, and yours is a stupid one I came to." He's like, "Come on in." We go upstairs. I'm so mad. I start talking to him and he starts telling me like, "OK.How can I help you?" "You can't help me." "Nobody can help me I'm gone man." And I told him and he said, "Let me tell you about Jesus." "I did not come here to hear about Jesus." He said, "This is a church." But to me Jesus wasn't in a church. Hypocrites were in a church. So for all that I knew this guy was one of them. So he sat there, and he sat there and he listened and he listened and listened, then he finally interrupted me. He goes, "Listen." He goes, "What you're telling me isn't helping you at all. Let me tell you something that's going to help you." I go, "OK. Go ahead." Smart aleck I was so bad. What mercy our King has. This guy goes, "Let me tell you about Jesus."" I said I didn't" He goes"Hold on you said I could talk." Alright, so he told me about Jesus. That he didn't die because I was so horrible. Even though I knew I was. He said that he paid the price and became sin, so that I might become right with this God. I said, "Come on Dude it's a fairy tale." Like how could some dead guy do anything for me? He said, "That's just it see he's not dead." And I looked in his eyes and something was real. I couldn't tell you what it was, it was it was weird. It says the eye is the lamp of the body. And if your eye is single your whole body is full of light, and I looked into this man's eyes and it was light. And I was freaked out. I said, "Dude don't be telling me this fairy tale." Christianity Christians are hypocrites and... He starts telling me, "Look since you don't want your life. Why don't you give it to somebody that does?" Here was my problem. And here's a lot of people's problems that are Christians. Why would He want my life? What do I really have to offer him? See that's the thing. We think we have to do something to earn this. Like we think that we have to come up with something for this. It's not that. You have nothing that you can give God. Except everything that you are. Because the only thing He wants... All He's asking you to do is give up something you were never created to be. Because you were never created to be you. You were created to be you in Him. He didn't create you for you. He created you for Him. And I'm like, "Whatever dude. Whatever if He wants my life He can have it because I don't want it. There I did it are you happy?" Really that's not a good prayer. That's really how it happened. So I'm like, " it's over dude. Whatever okay, I'm out." He's like, "Listen here's my number. You're gonna need it." I said, "I don't need your number.Dude. I'm good. I got this." Right. I took his number put in my pocket, crumpled it up put in my pocket. I'm good. I went home and I called my daughter. I said hey I said, "Honey can you tell mommy that Daddy found God?" And my little seven and half year old kid she said, "What's he like dad?" I go, "I don't know but this guy, this guy said that his God is going to change daddy's life." You listen honey you do whatever you got to do.. You've got to get mommy to come home. You kick and scream daddy's waiting. It's really what I did. So she did she threw a fit and mom came home. I go, "Hey I found God." "Shut up." Boom. She is not a Christian. She doesn't come from a line of Christians. Not at all. She's saying, "Now you're going to bring God into this you hypocrite." Neither. "No no everything's going to change. You'll see. You'll see." "Whatever shut up and get out of my face." That's all my daughter heard for seven half years. Hour and a half after I put my daughter to bed, "Honey. I love you." She goes, "I'm so glad you found God daddy I'm so glad." I love you, honey. I love you. I'm so glad daddy. Good night I love you. Hour and a half later cocaine binge. Imagine that. See God didn't didn't ask you to be a confessing Christian. You never open up your Bible you're going to find out who God says you are. And if you open up and think you can't understand. It's because your brain can't get it. Because the Bible's not meant for your brain. It's meant for your heart. Because your heart can take you places your brain can't fit. You can't fit. So I never, so I didn't open the Bible because I couldn't read anyway. So I'm out on a coke binge first night, second night, third night. Bang. Called that pastor. I said, "Your Jesus don't work!" He says, "Todd hold on a second. What do you mean?" I said, "He don't work, man. I did it again and again." He goes, "Todd how do you feel?" I said, "How do I feel?" Are you kidding me? He goes, "How do you feel?" I said, "I feel horrible!" He said, "Good." He said, "A few days ago you wouldn't even have cared. Thank God, there's a seed that's growing inside of you." Here's what I said... "Make it grow faster man because I hate this!" Whoom and I threw the phone. Seriously. Again. I did it again. I did it again. I did it again I did it again and again. And I'd go to church on Sunday. Oh Jesus. On Sunday all the while thinking are they looking? Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus. Everybody's like ooh he can sing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm good. Oh Jesus. I had all that. All the voice, all the singing and praising God. Still hooked on sin and stuck on stupid. I'm serious man. Really bad. I'd bring my daughter to church. Come on honey let's go to church. And she'd say, " Oh daddy." Sin again boom, again boom, again. Again. Again! And I'm like man five and a half months in. I go out one night. My girlfriend and my daughter followed me out in town. I'm a Christian five and a half months almost six month. Christian for six months. Call my dealer because I need my stuff. But when I called he wasn't home and I turned around. There is my daughter and my girlfriend behind my car. "Daddy you promised you'd never do it again. You promised daddy." And I did every night. I promised the same thing. I said, "I know I'm so sorry." "Get in the car. Look at what you're doing to your daughter. I hope you're proud." "I'm proud? I hate this." "Yeah, whatever you're a liar, and when she's old enough. I'm out of here." "I hate what you've become and what you're doing to us. There is no God!" That's my life. I get in the car. I can't go home and face this. I can't. I spin out I go down in town. I go out into a place I usually don't go. I picked up some kid I get him in my car. Some kid from New York City fifteen year old kid. I get him in my car. He's in the car. And I got him man he's right here. I'm like, "Hey man what you got on you?" "What do you need?" I said, "I need as much as you got." "You got the money man?" I said, "Dude you see me around here." He fell for it, gives me two eight balls. I got all the cocaine in my hand. I said, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." "You have a right to an attorney." "I knew you were a cop!" he starts smacking the dashboard. I said, "Knock it off." I said, "Get out of the car put your hands on the hood." And I pulled over and he opened up the door. And he got out of the car. And I went..(Screeching). to get away Boom boom. Boom boom boom boom. Unloaded a 9-millimeter at me from ten feet away. Three meters from me, he unloaded a 9 Millimeter. I knew what nine sounded like. And an audible voice filled my vehicle and that voice said, "I took those bullets for you. Are you ready to live for me yet?" See you weren't in the car, but I was. And that's what I heard. And I spun out. I gotta get away, I'm shot. I'm dying. I'm going to meet this pastor's God. And I spin out of town and I realized I'm not hurting and my I'm not wounded. I'm out of here. And I get out of town. And I start breaking open the eight-balls and smoking all the cocaine. You're like, "Man you are stupid." No, no,no. I was a drug addict. Drug addicts aren't stupid, they're blind. I did it all and every hit I took, the voice came and killed my buzz again. Killed it again. Killed it again. Couldn't get high no matter how hard I tried to chase the buzz. I couldn't get high. And the voice came, "I took those bullets for you." "You have to be ready to live for me now. Are you ready to live? I saved your life?" "Are you ready to live for me?' All night long. And then pull into the driveway and I am totally freaked out. I mean not a little bit. I am petrified. I pulled in the driveway. I get out of the car. I'm like, "Oh God no no no no." I looked at my lights with my flashlight. Not one bullet hole in my car. Oh no. Oh. He's real. Oh what am I going to do? And I'm afraid and I go to the door. And I see my girlfriend and my daughter sleeping on the couch head to head again. Just like my little girl grew up that way on the couch. Daddy's out on... on binge again. Door quiet try to get in. "Get out of my life, I hate you! You have to go! I hate you!" 'I hate you!' 'Daddy no!". It's my daughter. I leave. And a couple days later, I went to a place and I gave up. I submitted to God. I went to a place called Teen Challenge. I went in. I just gave up. I lost everything. And I'm in Teen Challenge and it's like not, there's no joke in there. It's it's like boot camp, but it's different. But I gave up see I surrendered. I gave up. I went in there. Opened the Bible every day an hour before everybody got up. No one was looking. I went into the secret place. It was just a prayer room. I went in there and opened the Bible and I couldn't read. I didn't know how to read my whole life. I couldn't read. And all of a sudden it started to make sense. Something hit my heart. If I lack wisdom ask God. And He turned my heart on and my heart was on and... Oh. Oh my God. You real? You're real. Oh! You're real. And two months into a 12-month program. I'm freaking out oh. This is the craziest thing ever. It's so crazy like You're real. All of a sudden I get one night where I have an encounter with Jesus. The second night I have the same encounter with Jesus. With a voice that says, "Do not leave. Do you not fear.I'll never leave you nor forsake you." The third night He said, "Do not not fear. I'll never leave you nor forsake you. Go home." I wake up in the morning, and oh oh my gosh. I gotta get out of here. Now I quit everything in my life before. I never followed through. I wake up I call that pastor. I said, "Hey man, I need you to come and get me." He says, "Todd is this God." I said, "Yeah." I said, "I met Jesus man. He loves me." He goes, "I'm on my way." He didn't say, "Todd you have to stick the program out, you committed to this, you understand Todd." But everybody else told me, "Todd Satan can disguise himself as an angel of light. You know understand" "This is the devil talking to you. You're going to be be deceived." "You're going to end up dead in a ditch." This that and the other thing. But I was changed like my heart was changed. It was completely different and the one thing that I needed to do..... I need to get home. I needed to tell my daughter how sorry I was. I didn't know what it was like to be a dad. But all of a sudden I got this dad thing going on. Like I can't tell you ladies how important it is. That you understand that if your father hurt you and he wasn't there for you... it's because he didn't know who he was. Because when I found out that God was my father, everything changed. I needed to get to the house. I gotta get home. I gotta get to the house. It's not my home. I can't live there, but I've got to tell my daughter. I've got to tell her how sorry I am. Because I realized how dark and miserable and how much of a liar I was. And I really really met Him. I really know Him and I know Him and I know Him I know Him and I know Him and I know Him. So he drives me to my house. And my little girl, my seven and half year old girl comes running across the porch. And I held her in my arms and I said, "Honey!" I said, "I love you so much." "I'm so sorry." And she says, "For what dad?" Seven and a half year old little girl, lived with a drug addict for a father her whole life. Her whole life. And she says, "What are you sorry for dad you're home?" And I said, "Honey. I'm not home I can't live here." "Daddy this is your home." And I said, "Honey daddy hurt mommy so bad. I can't be here.". "No daddy. You don't understand you live here." "No, no no. No. Listen. Daddy can't stay,". "Honey daddy hurt mommy so bad so bad so bad." She's like, "Daddy." She's holding me so tight. It's like ridiculous tight. Like I can't even explain it. Except I know I'm a daddy. It's the best thing ever. People are like, "Why do you keep harping on this?" Because guys you don't know you're a father, unless you encounter the King. You don't know how the father unless you encounter Him. Because He's the best father ever. And He will give you a new heart. He will give you a new heart. And when you see who He is you fall in love with your Dad. And then your kid isn't just a problem or a responsibility. They're a piece of you. And since you're a piece of Him, they're a piece of him. And everything changes. And I'm holding my daughter and tell her how much I love her. And how sorry I am. And it's amazing and I mean it's the best day of my life. And my girlfriend comes out of the house, and I said, "I'm so sorry. I hurt you so bad. I'm so sorry honey. I really messed up. I mean I was the biggest hypocrite ever. But I met Jesus, and I'm going to get a job. Amazing. First thing I think about as a Christian. That I'm going to work. It's weird that Christians don't think about work. You need to provide for your own. It's not a joke. It says if somebody doesn't provide for their family, they're worse than an unbeliever. That's the Bible. Ah now you're religious. No. I love Jesus and I believe that we can be full-time Christians. So my girlfriend comes out and she goes.... and I said, "I'm so sorry. I'm going to get a job on provide for her. I'm going to show her what it's like to have a dad." She goes, "I know you will." I went, "What do you mean? What's going on? I looked at Dan this pastor, and he's smiling like he always does always does. Always. I go, "What's going on?" He goes... I looked at her. She looks at me and she goes, "When you went away. I gave my life to Jesus." I go, "Oh my God. Oh my God. No. Don't mess with me." She said, "I did." I go...this is my first conviction Christian's. I cannot live here. Why? Because we're not married. I can't just jump into the sack and have sex again. We're not married. Imagine that... those that came with their girlfriends and are living with each other without marriage. You're in sin. Oh don't mess with me. No no, I'm not messing with you! I'm preaching the gospel! If you love her put a ring on her finger and love her and marry her. I'm not being mean. I'm being real. Jesus is not for sex outside of marriage. If you're a boyfriend and a girlfriend and you're with each other, and you're sleeping with each other because it feels good. That's not love. That's lust. It ends lust when you enter into covenant. Ah well I ain't going to listen to you anymore. Go ahead don't just live in judgment your whole life, and stand before the judgment seat of Christ... and answer for your life and see what God says when you stand before Him. I'm not playing with this man. I lived it. I did it all. I was the king of sinners. And then Jesus set me free from me. Which makes me free from you. I won't sit here and tell you anything, and expect you to be mad at me and be hurt by that. I'm going to preach the gospel. If the shoe fits kick it off. You are not meant to have sex outside of marriage. You're not! People come to Power and Loves thinking he's got dreads. He's a grace guy. I am! But grace empowers you to walk out what the truth calls you to. Rise up! Rise up! Be a man of God be a woman of God. Put a ring on her finger, instead of sleeping in a bed with her and calling yourself a man. Because you ain't a man. I'm not kidding. I won't answer for your life. You will. You will. Really well I liked this guy until he started messing with my sex life. I love Jesus man, but I love God way more than I love your opinion. I'm not kidding. Repentance is amazing. It'll change your whole life. It'll actually change your family's life. It's amazing. So all of a sudden I look at her she goes, "No no no you can't live here." I said, "No I cannot." She says, "We need to be married." I went, "Oh my gosh. Whoa!" Whoa whoa, whoa. I looked at Dan he goes..... See I didn't know it see. But he was a real Christian. He was there for my family when I was locked up. He was there for them, and he was pouring into my girl saying, "When your daddy comes home, he's going to be a changed man. He's going to be a different man." When he told my girlfriend, "When he comes home you're not going to recognize who he is." See because that's what the Bible says. It says, "If any man be in Christ, behold he's a new creation. Old things have passed away. All things become new." People are like well not all things. You're wrong and the Bible's right. All things become new. Now you need to be renewed in the spirit of your mind and not be conformed to the world, or how you feel. But be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you can approve of what God's will is and isn't. Instead of taking everybody else's word for it, start to get in the Word and become what that Word says. You won't have to listen to people's opinions. You'll know the truth. You'll walk out the truth. So four days later... four days later in between first and second service... This girl, this girl, this girl, and my daughter my seven half year old girl. She's flower girl Listen, no one was going to come so invitations weren't necessary. It's not about your big wedding, it's about your of big covenant. It's not about your big wedding. See some of your like well we'll get married when we have enough money. It is not about enough money, It is about a lifetime commitment Saying I'm going to covenant with God and He is going to overshadow my wife and I. We're going to live in the shadow of His wings. Refuge the strong tower. That's our God. That's our Daddy. See the deal is that God wants, he loves covenant. He loves it. He loves it. He loves it. You know what is amazing? You can live with a girl for 10 years and God's Word never changes. It never changes. No matter how much you fall in love, no matter how much your feelings change. God's Word never ever ever changes. It stays the same, It still says that a man will leave his parents and be joined to his wife. Marriage covenant and the two will become one flesh And if you're married, you're one flesh. And if you live with your girl for 10 years, but you're not married, and you didn't get married under God... you're not married. You're living in sin. People are like man enough already. No no no see. The Holy Spirit's going to convict you. I guarantee this. You will not be able to live with yourself if you're in that situation. God doesn't want you to live with yourself. He wants you to live with Him. So in the middle of first and second service my wife, and my little girl my flower girl... I sang that song by Casting Crowns... Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth, would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt? Oh. Who am I that the voice to calm the sea would call out through the rain and calm the storm in me? Come on! And we get married and her mom's there, just crying. It wasn't happy. I can't believe you married him! He's a jerk. He's a liar. He quit. He's a quitter. Her stepdad you blankety blankety blank blank blank . You don't fool me you blank. In church. You know what I said, "You'll see. You'll see. I'll show you" Oh shut up. Come come come here. Turn away from me! Please. Come here Des. Come here Jack. This is my wife and this is my seven and a half year old daughter. She looks like she's doing okay. She looks like she's doing okay. Is it all true? It's all true. Guys, Jesus is King. King! He's a good good father. He's a good father. He's a good father. He's a good father. Oh! Here's another one. We kept, we kept making kids. She's 11, and we have another one that's 6. Not yet. And then we adopted a little boy, that was born addicted to heroin. He's 19 months old. So we've got 4 kids. It's ridiculous and amazing. Amazing. Amazing! Amazing. I am. Okay, love you okay. Okay now I'm going to preach. You guys ready? I'm not kidding. I'm really not kidding. People are like, "Oh, it's time to go home. We can pack it up." You can go home. You're done before I do. Whoops. If you're done before me you guys can go. You can. I love you, bless you. But I believe that... Holy Spirit wants to land on you. Now watch. This amazing marriage to this amazing woman and my amazing daughter. About two weeks after I'm saved I mean I'm in love with Jesus. I'm born again the Holy Spirit has come to live in me. He is a fountain springing up. A well springing up inside of me. He'll never leave me. He's there. The word has opened up because the Holy Spirit has become my best friend. And I'm reading the Bible every day, every day, every day. And that's all I know is I'm free. I am free to run. I'm free and I'm running like crazy. It's amazing. Then I go to a healing service. I didn't know that healing was part of this. I didn't know, you know. And I'm just a kid and I'm born again. I'm 34 at the time. And I'm 48 right now. Still a little kid and I don't wanna grow up. I want to be mature, but that doesn't mean you have to get older. To be mature. Anyway, I'm not saying I don't get older because I do I'm 48. Just turned 48 on Christmas Day. Imagine that Christmas Day. And I went to a healing service and somebody came in and they had leukemia. And I had seen some people say that they were healed before. And I was like,. "Ah that's crazy." But they're saying they're healed. I don't know they are you know. And I didn't get taught whether it was right or whether it was wrong. All I knew was that if it's in the Bible, it's mine. And I'm totally into what's in the Bible. I'm not into what's not in the Bible. I'm into what's in the Bible. I don't watch like sports and stuff, and I'm not against people that do. I just believe Christianity is a full-contact sport. You just need to get in the game. I'm serious. And so I see this guy come in and he comes up to Dan, this pastor. And he comes up and he goes... and the wife says, "Listen my husband has leukemia. And It's one of 40 or 50 cases. He's the 50th case of this strain of leukemia. It's killed 49 people. He's the 50th one. The doctor sent him home to die. And we don't really believe in healing. We've been taught our whole life it's not for today. And so we don't even know why we're here, except our neighbor says you're our last resort, And I don't even think you're a resort. All I know is we're out of options." Dan goes, "Okay." She says, "So we don't really believe." And she goes, "Is that going to matter?" Dan said, "Absolutely not." I went... Here's what I did. I went, "What is that? I need that right there." And I sat back I didn't get in the middle. Dan goes, "Just let me pray for you." So Dan goes...He didn't say, "In the mighty name of Jesus!" He didn't say that. That's not what moves Heaven. Faith moves Heaven. So good. Dan goes, "In Jesus name leukemia I command you leave this body. White blood cells come up in the name of Jesus. You healed, you be free in Jesus name. Amen. And the man looked at Dan. He goes, "Is that it? That's all?" Dan goes, "Yep. Here's my number." I'm thinking, "Take the number dude. Take the number." Seriously. So he goes like this. He walks out like this. Weak, hurting, going to die... on Hospice. Doesn't show healing, walks out like this. And I'm looking at Dan and Dan's not looking at him. He's praying for the next person. I'm like "Whoa." Two weeks later the report comes in, that leukemia is gone. You know what happened to me? I went oh my goodness. I'm freaking out inside. Because Dan's preaching out of the scripture in Mark 16. It says these signs will follow them that believe. I'm a brand new Christian. No one's talked me out of it. No one's talking me into it. I am just brand new. I believe every word that's in the Bible. . I'm brand new. I just started to read. I got spiritual Huggies on. I'm two weeks old. But I'm not feeding on my thumb. See a lot of Christians are feeding on their thumb instead of the milk of the Word. And we become thumb-sucking Christians. Instead of feeding on the right source... and we're pacified! Pacified by a thumb that gives no nutrients, instead of the Bible that fills you with truth. Instead of trust in the Holy Spirit that wants to destroy hell through you. He wants to make you a freight train. He wants to make you walk out the Gospel which is 1st John 3:8. For this reason the Son of man was put on the earth. So that he might destroy the works of the devil. And Jesus didn't heal the sick as God. I found out that Jesus humbled himself and became a bond servant. He was tempted at all points yet without sin. And it says the Son of God could do nothing without the Father. Jesus said, "I can do nothing of myself." in John 5:19 "But what I do, I do because the Father does it. But what the father does the Son does in like manner." I found that no miracles flowed through Jesus's life until He was baptized in the River Jordan, and the Holy Spirit came down, Boom! And landed upon Jesus. At 30 years old he comes down and gets baptized by the Holy Spirit. John the Baptist is baptizing people in water. Jesus comes down He goes, "John. I need you to baptize me." John goes, "Uh...Dude... I need your baptism and you're asking me?" Jesus said, "Let it be so, for it is necessary that righteousness might be fulfilled." The fulfillment of righteousness. Righteousness. Right standing with God. Jesus goes down in that water and the Heavens open for Him. And the Holy Spirit goes.....like a dove on him. Boom landed upon him and remained. Jesus went out into the wilderness came back out. He came out after 40 days of fasting. Went about in the Holy Ghost and power. And it was God that lived in Jesus and rested upon Jesus, that did the miracles. Read your Bible. I promise you. Because when you see this, you can no longer be just a normal Christian again. Why? Because if Jesus did miracles fully dependent upon God. And the only difference between him and you is the Holy Ghost. Jesus was baptized in the Holy Spirit. When you get born again, He comes in you like a fountain. But there is a baptism where Jesus doesn't just come within you, He rests upon you and fits you like a glove. This is that gasoline thing. I promise you. Oh you just wait because He's coming. I promise you. If you can hang in there. For the hungry... He's coming. You're like, "Well I'm tired." Go be tired. I love you. See ya. I'm going to preach the Gospel. You think this is long. Wait till tomorrow night. Just wait till Kenneth Copeland comes in here tomorrow night. He's going to preach till 12 o'clock. You all are going to fall asleep, but he'll be in your face with those blue eyes filled with fire. Hey ya! You need to be endued with power. You need it, and I needed it too. But here's what I did that day. I said to Dan, I said, "Dude God healed that guy." "I'm praying for everybody. It's over." I'm a brand new Christian. You aren't going to stop me. Nobody's going stop me. I love Jesus. If this is my birthright, I'm going after this. So I'm like who. You know what? See because I quit Teen Challenge early, I wasn't allowed to pray for anybody in the church. That's okay. I don't need to. There's everybody outside the church. We've got stop praying for just the people inside the church, and actually take the Gospel everywhere we go. So I'm like okay. So my daughter and I we're at Walmart. She's with me. Mom's there too. Mom's here. Me and Destiny are here. We're walking. She's just seven-and-a-half little girl. Walking mom's there and we see a lady with a with a walker. I see her. Destiny didn't see her. I did. I said Des come here. She goes, "What dad?" Little innocent, "Come on." "Okay, why?" I say, "See that lady?" She goes "Yeah?" She wasn't at the healing service with me. She didn't know. I just said, "Look she's sick." She's goes, "Okay? She's old dad." "Yeah, yeah, but she's sick." She goes "Okay." I said, "Come on. Let's go pray for her." She goes, "Dad I don't want to." I said, "Well you don't have to. Will you just walk with me?" She goes "Okay.", So I went up to her. I go to the lady. I go, "Hey excuse me." She goes, "Yeah?" She's probably 85. Walking, She's on that walker. I said, "Hey you know the Bible says, that if we lay hands on the sick the sick will recover." I said, "Can we pray for you?" She goes, "Here?" I said, "Yeah." I said, "The worst that can happen is nothing." She goes, "You're right." And it is right. What's the worst that can happen? Nothing! Nothing's going to happen if you don't pray anyway. So I'm like okay. Destiny's staying behind me she's afraid. She's never done this. This is like uncomfortable. In the name of Jesus I command this to be gone. Arthritis get out in Jesus's name. Amen. I said, "How do you feel?" She goes, "Thanks for trying." And she walked on. You know what never happened. My feelings didn't get hurt. My pride didn't get hurt. You know what I said, "Thanks for letting me pray for you. God bless you." She goes, "Thank you. Have a good day." Destiny goes, "We better find mom." It's okay, So we look for mom. She's gone. So what do you do? We saw all these sick people everywhere. Like oh hey, there's another one over there. So we walked over there. Hey can we pray for you? Destiny's gotten a little closer. She didn't pray. In Jesus's name we command this to go. Okay. All right. I'm done. Okay well. thanks for letting us pray for you. How do you feel? The same. Gone. Seriously. So here's what we do. That day we probably prayed for 10 or 15 people the first day. And we never knew where my wife was. We couldn't find her, but I had a hunch. After like an hour... She's probably in the car. So we went out to the car and she was. I said, "Hey honey." "Don't you honey me!" "What are you doing?" I said, "We were praying for people." "Why are you praying for people?" "Because the Bible says these signs..." "I don't care what you think the Bible says, you're not a pastor." "You're not going do this." And I said, "But we're supposed to pray for the sick." "Don't tell me what you think you're supposed to do. Listen I'm not going through this. We're not going there." I'm not kidding. It was the woman I just brought up beside me. See this pressure of your relatives that don't understand, but that are saved. But still don't understand. We allow that pressure to overwhelm us and stop us from God's plan. Because we want to look good in front of them, make them feel comfortable. When the reality is we need to rely upon the comforter. See God knew you were supposed to be uncomfortable. That's why I called the Holy Spirit a comforter. So anyway... Next time again praying, again again again again again. And then finally my wife says to me, "I am never going in public with you again." I said, "Aw come on." She goes, "No you are embarrassing. You are an embarrassment to me. You you are a madman." But she couldn't convict me of sin. What she could convict me of, is believing that I read this in the Bible and that's what I was going to do. So I just kept going going going going on and she wouldn't go. And then all of a sudden she cut me off from going in public. She would go to church because I wasn't allowed to pray for anybody there, but it was straight home. Really straight home. My daughter and I we did the shopping. So man I set it in my heart I was going to pray for ten people everyday. Everyday ten people everyday. You know what happened? Nothing. A week went by I prayed for 70 people. Do you know many people persecuted me? Do you know how many people in the church told me this wasn't my gift? I just couldn't see that in the Bible. See they read first Corinthians 12 some were given the gift of miracles, the gift of healings. But I kept hanging on Mark 16. That never changed no matter how much they said, it stayed the same. These signs will follow them that believe. Do you know the first sign of a believer is they cast out devils? Imagine if that was your qualification. These signs will follow believers. They will cast out demons. Whoa hold on a second now, that's a big,...No read the Bible! Well that was when they disciples.. Well that didn't change! So many people told me you're out of bounds you're this you're that. But all that they said wasn't in the Bible. They said you're opening up doors. That's a fear doctrine. God opens doors. Not me. I'm just not afraid of the devil. I'm not afraid at all. So I believe Jesus beat him with two sticks. I believe it. I believe that when Jesus did what He did He was triumphant, and He is my King! He is a glorious King and He chose me. I didn't choose him. And when I was twisted when I was yet a sinner he died for me. He saw me and said, "I want that one." I believed it. So I prayed again another week went by boom, another week boom, another week boom. Four weeks, 10 people a day. Four weeks. That's a lot of people. Not one person got healed for real. Everybody but Dan was telling me why my life was messed up. Seriously. Dan was like, "What are you going to do?" "I'm going to keep praying for people man." Because I'm going to believe it's going to happen. That was my simple doctrine. If I believe it's going to happen. Another month went by, two months not one person healed. My wife was still not going in public with me. I'm a lunatic because all I'm talking about is all the people I prayed for that wasn't healed. I don't have anybody else to tell, so I tell her all these testimonies that didn't happen. I prayed for people. Me and Destiny were there we prayed for this one too. I don't want to hear it. Yeah, but but I don't got anybody else to tell. Come on... so anyway just. I don't want to hear it shut up! I was pretty in your face. Because I was excited. I'm a brand... It's a whole new world, and I'm excited about it. Three months went by not one person's healed. Another two weeks go by, there's a healing conference up at this church up in Harrisburg. We lived in York Pennsylvania at the time. And I'm like okay, I'm going up to this church. And I'm gonna learn about healing. I'm going. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to the healing conference. I'm going to learn about it because these guys are seeing miracles, and I'm not. So when I went up there, there was a guy whose name was Randy Clark. And you might not know him. He's an amazing man of God. I didn't know him at all. All I knew was they said healing and I'm in. So I registered for the conference I go there. I kept seeing this. I kept... I saw this scripture. Well I'll just tell you because I'm really long winded. And it said, John the Baptist in Matthew 3 says, I baptize you with water. But the one coming after me, He will baptize you in the Holy Ghost and Fire. And my thing was, what is ...and Fire?I I've got to know what "and Fire" is. Like because I knew that I had Jesus. I knew that I was born again. I knew that my salvation was secure, but something was missing. And so I'm like, I've got to know what this is. So I go up there and the guy's talking about healing and he talks to us like this all the time. Yes, and then the Lord does this and that doesn't raise his voice. No. It's real just real looks like real gentle person. Randy. And then and then the Lord did this and that and then healing comes when this and that. And I'm sitting there going I just gosh. I just what is this "and Fire"?. All of a sudden, out of nowhere comes this heat. I have prayed for over 900 people without one breakthrough. Not one manifested healing. Everybody told me to quit. But I'm not quitting because this thing's forever. I'm going after it. Sitting in this seat right next to a pre-med student who's my friend. And this guy he goes, "You okay?" And I'm sweating kind of like right now, but in a matter of 3 or 4 seconds. He goes, "Are you okay? Do you have numbness in your left arm?" I'm like, "No." Is it hot? No, no, no. What's wrong? Uh-I don't know what's going on? All of a sudden, this guy Randy he looks at me out of all the 1700 people. And he goes, "Son"' He goes, "You've been asking the Lord for a baptism of fire haven't you?" He goes "Yeah you." I went... He goes, "Stand up." He says, "Stand up. The Lord says it's right now." All of a sudden this thing hit me. And it felt like my chest was being stepped on. Are you sure you want this? See it felt like it felt like I was going to die. It felt like electricity. Not just in my hands, it was all over my body. It started to go through my feet and through my fingers and all of a sudden it hit me. I'm like "Ohhh Ahhhh." And it wasn't like I was going to say, people were going to say be quiet. I said, "Uhhhhh!" Randy says, "More Lord." Just like that. I'm not kidding. Can I have the worship team up here? Can everybody come up here please? I knelt down in between the seats. And this thing that I've been crying out for. This thing that I've been focusing on. This thing that I didn't even know what it was. That quart of gasoline. With the match. Because God's the one that lights the match. This quart is all of a sudden on me and all of a sudden I'm, "Help." "No! Aah!" I'm screaming. Those of you that want to be dignified and all pretty. Look, what if this happened in the middle of Walmart? What if this happened in the middle of your family reunion? What if this happened up your elders meeting? What would you do if your elders at your elders meeting if the Holy Ghost decided to go, Whoap! Would you say, "Not now I'm having a meeting." Or would you want the meeting that He has for you? And I'm sitting there going "Help. Ahh. Ahhh!" And I'm holding this lady's coat in front of me, and snot and the mess is everywhere. And I'm screaming and Randy goes, "You'll be okay." And here's what I said, "I'm gonna die! I'm dying!" And Randy goes, "You won't die. More Lord." I promise. And it got so bad that I'm streaming, "Huuuuhhhhh!" "Oh geez help me help! " And Randy's trying to preach and I'm, "Ooh Ahhhuh!" And Randy's like, "and the Lord" and I'm like "no one cares." Except the lady with the coat in front of me going.... And I'm screaming. This thing makes me look like a mental patient. Not kidding. I literally was like this. And after it was over just for 40 minutes... Bill Johnson walked by because was he's in the conference. He walked by the row and he goes...(thumbs up). I don't know Bill. I don't know anything. All I know is I have been crying out for God to use me. I've been crying out for God. "You've got to do it in me God." What's missing? Because if you ask Him, He'll show you. What's missing God? I need you. I know that some people think that when you get born again, you get baptized in the Holy Spirit. It can happen like that. But i'm telling you that if you're if you're like not filled with power it's because you don't have enough. And he wants to give you more. Because for those of you that have been baptized in the Holy Spirit, there's more I promise you there's so much more. We need more. There's so much more So much more. And I'm screaming and then it ends for a little bit. And they all leave and and then someone helps me out of the room. And I go out to the foyer and they sent me in a chair. I'm sitting there and Randy comes up to me. I said, "Get away from me." I don't know any better. I didn't know that this was the thing that I've been asking for. It was the one thing that I needed. My own wife wouldn't go in public with me, but I loved her with all my heart. And I would go in my room and I would pray for her and say, "God, Thank you for this woman than you've given me God. I ask you to show her her created value God show her who you are." I didn't get hurt by her. I hurt for her. I wasn't mad at her I loved her. I wasn't trying to conform her to my image. And it's not okay for you to try to conform God into your image. We need to let God be God and let him have us. Let him have us completely because he wants all of us. He doesn't want some of us. He wants us all. And I'm out there Randy goes, "Son this is the most beautiful thing that could happen for you. This is what happens when you get baptized in the Holy Ghost and Fire". He goes, "You mark this day. Everything changes here." I was just, "Get away from me." I wasn't trying to be mean I was afraid. I was like I don't want more of this now. Ever. And that day something happened. And then just a couple of days later at work, I knew about someone's back that I didn't know how I knew about it. But I knew. I said you have herniated discs and sciatic nerve damage down your right leg? It was like weird. They go "Yeah." I went.... And I prayed for him and Jesus heals him. I'm like oh my gosh. And I was so excited I ran to the phone. I'm going to call my wife and tell her it finally happened! I ran to the phone. I ran inside. I said, "Guess what honey!" She goes, "What I'm at work honey." I go "I know but God, God spoke to me. I think..."Click she hung up. So I pushed the thing I called Dan. Hey, guess what it happened. What happened? I don't know but I knew about someone's back. And I prayed for him and they got healed and it was amazing! He goes, "Todd that's a Word of Knowledge." Whatever it was it was awesome! I want more of them! It was so good, but the guy got healed. He goes "Way to go Todd. That's awesome. I'm so proud of you." I'm like yeah. So I'm like okay, I'm gonna pray for more and more and more and more and more people and more people. And more people and boy didn't my wife get mad. But now it's coming and I'm telling her testimonies. I remember I'm about a month and a half later, I go and and we're at a Walmart my daughter and I walked in. And Destiny you know she's little about eight years old. And I'm just a few months, five and a half months maybe in the Lord. And we walk in and we see a guy that has polio. Now Polio stunts your growth and one of your legs is really short. Not just an inch but a lot. So we asked him how short his leg was and it was four inches short. And I go, "Oh awesome." And I just heard a testimony of someone's leg growing out. So I'm like, "Okay Destiny you're going to pray." So we hold this guy's legs out. Greeters are there. We hold those legs out four inches short. That's a big difference. And Destiny goes, "In Jesus's name, leg I command you grow." And sure enough four inches. Right there in Walmart. The greeter went "Ahhh!"and ran. I'm not kidding. Yes or no? My kid prayed. Kids don't get a junior Holy Ghost. It's so crazy. So amazing. So all of a sudden we go home. I'm so excited we took about an hour and a half. We were way long. I said, "Guess what honey guess what!" She goes, "I don't care." I said, "No no no you will care listen you're going to love this." I'd already began to tell her about stuff that was happening because it was breakthrough now. Breakthrough was happening. I told her I said, "We prayed for this guy who's four inch short leg and it grew out." She goes, "Please get away from me. I wouldn't have expected anything else. Get away from me." I didn't hear part of what she said. I went back to my bedroom. I said, "God she doesn't even care. She doesn't even care." And now it's woe is me. Let me tell you what God did. He went, "Shhhhhh." He said, "Didn't you hear your wife?" I go, "Yeah she said get away from me. She doesn't care. He said, "No. She said she wouldn't have expected anything else." He said, "Aren't you glad it's becoming normal." I said, "Yeah, I'm sorry." This amazing relationship with Jesus. So finally, about eight and a half nine months in, me and my daughter were seeing crazy miracles. Every day. It took me five and a half, well after about five and a half months of seeing breakthrough. It was taking me 45 minutes every night, writing down the miracles that I saw every day. And I wasn't in ministry. I was just a Christian. I was just full-on in love with Jesus. I was full-on. People were getting healed every day. Every day on my job. It was crazy. I was a lunatic but people were getting healed. And I performed my job better than the people around me. Because I knew that if I was gonna pray for people, I couldn't be so spiritually minded that no earthly good. I need to be so heavenly minded that I'm earthly incredible, and they need more people like me on the job. That's how I live my life. And so bang bang bang bang bang. So my wife says, "Listen to me. I am going to go with you today to the store." I went, "No." She goes, "I am, but you are not praying for anybody, and we will not see each other in the store." She goes, "I'm going this way you're going that way. We will meet each other in the car. I am not going to see you inside." You have a list. I have a list. That's the way it's going to be. Do you understand me?" I said, "Yes, ma'am." So I went and shopped over this way with Destiny. She went shopped over that way. And all of a sudden, We see a lady on a scooter. And my daughter and I see her and it's only a couple rows in. Its this spaghetti aisle actually. And I said, "Look Des." She goes, "Dad mom's here." I said, "She's way over there. Lets go. Come on." Seriously you guys have no idea. It was really really bad at home. Because I push this thing. Like I mean I stretch my wife like silly putty. Because silly buddy goes really far. I did, but it wasn't outside of God. It was all Gospel. So I went down to this lady and we asked if we could pray.. She goes, "Honey I'm fine." I said, "No, you're in a scooter." I said, "Can you please let my daughter, and I pray?" She goes, "Honey."She said to me "Richard Roberts prays for me every night. I put my hand towards the TV he prays for me. I already had prayer." I go, "I know, but you're still in the scooter, and you need you need healing." She was, "I'm okay, please leave me alone." That's what she said. I don't take NO very well. I don't do well with NO. Not when I've seen people healed. To me... Anyway. So I looked at her and I go, "Honey." I said, "Please let us." So she's getting mad. So her daughter's with her and my daughter's with me, and they're about same age. I said "Honey." I said, "Do you want to have your grandma play with you again?" Or her granddaughters with her. I said, "Do you?" She goes, "Yeah. Grandma let him pray." Oh. Grandma goes... So angry. She's not in a place of forgiveness. She's not in a place of the anointing. There's no soft music playing in the grocery store. I don't see angels. I didn't have a light beam come down. I have an angry woman in a scooter, that thinks I'm a lunatic. And I am. I'm just not... I'm out of her mind. So I said, "Please let us." She goes, "Hurry up." That doesn't set the stage for anointing. All this stuff we've created in religious doctrines. It's the goodness of God that leads people to repentance. It's not me trying to get her to repent. It's His goodness. And miracles are goodness. So we said, "Okay", So we pray for lady. We don't understand exactly what's wrong. But she tells us that she's had four back surgeries. She's fused in the seated position. She cannot stand up straight. She's in a scooter. Her Granddaughter has to drive it out to get her. So we looked at the lady, and we said "Okay, let's pray." Granddaughter goes, "Yeah, let's pray." All excited. "In the name of Jesus we command this back to be healed." And all of a sudden like we said to the lady, "Hey get up." My daughter Destiny she expects miracles to happen. She goes, "Yeah, get out of the chair." She goes, "Get out of the chair?!" The lady's so angry. "Do you see this?" She's sweating. She goes, "I'm in pain. You don't understand. It's been 27 years. I haven't stood up straight 27 years." And she's so mad. Granddaughter's like, "Grandma, please." She looks at me so angry again. "Look what you did to my granddaughter. Getting her hopes way up." The Bible says get your hope way up. Don't you tell people not to get their hopes up. The Bible says that faith is the substance Of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. So her granddaughter gets her out of the chair. The grandma goes like this. We said, "Come on girls, let's pray again." We prayed. It went Pop! And her back popped, and I thought we broke her. And I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. You don't understand. It was a pop it went through our hands. The granddaughter goes... The grandma went like this. And stood up straight for the first time in 27 years. 27 years! And I was stood back and I went, "Oh my God oh. Oh." And I'm crying and the granddaughter goes, "Grandma run!" "Run grandma!" Really loud screaming. Granddaughter goes, "Run grandma!" Grabs her hand and they played, for the first time in the granddaughter's life. They ran to the end of the aisle. She hadn't stood up straight in 27 years. They ran back. She's out of breath man. She hadn't he walked. She comes back and in walks my wife, and I went..."Oh." "Oh my oh Jesus. You gotta do something." And I'm at a loss for words. My daughter was hiding behind me. I'm not kidding. Because she just didn't understand. My wife didn't understand. And I never told her "You're wrong and you need to listen to me. Because I'm the one in authority. I am the head of this house, and you need to be in submission." That's sin. That is not the Gospel for you to talk to your wife that way. Why would your wife respect you and love you, if you can't love her like Christ loved the church anyway? Try that and your wife will love you unconditionally. If you love her like Christ loved the church. What did Christ do? He died for the church. He laid his life down for the church. That's when a wife really loves her husband. When a husband can act like Jesus and love her when she's unlovable. She just doesn't understand, and I refuse to let people that don't see, determine what I do see. Or they will never see. My life. My whole family by the way her mom hated me. I'm talking everybody. I am like the black sheep. Now he's a psycho sheep. Family reunions," Oh what's going on Mr, Jesus?" :Oh? I love the Lord." "Oh really? So what?" Think I'm kidding. Everybody was against me except... my Dad. He was so for me. I'd go in my bedroom and say, "God I love so much. God I need you. God I need you, need you more more than yesterday. I need you. I need you. And He would always be there. "I'm here son." "You are?" Shut the door still today even this morning. I went in my room. I got up this morning. He's there. And He's still the same. He never changes. He's there. "Here I am." "God I'm weak and I need you." "Oh I'm your strength." "God I need you." "Here I am." "God cover me." "Okay." "Holy Spirit I love you." "I Love you." "God, I worship you." I worship you. I love you. I need you God. I need you. God you have to show up today. God make me a better witness than yesterday because I can't have people go to hell. I can't have people not know you God. I don't care what it looks like. I'm asking you to baptize me again with power. God saturate me with you. Anoint me God to destroy hell for a living. I will not bow to adversity. I will walk in the midst of fire. And because I'm on fire, nothing changes except that I come out with a clearer, crisper, more revelation of what it looks like to be with you in the fire. And I will come out with a crisper sharper anointing. And I will destroy hell. When people will see me in the fire and want the Jesus that I serve. Because I will not smell like smoke. I'm not playing games with this. This isn't just religion to me. This isn't just a ministry to me. This is a lifestyle. A life that's sold out. Everything push it all to the center and say I'm in. And I ain't going back. I don't want this world. I want Jesus. Give me Jesus. Give me Jesus. That's what I want, I want Jesus. The whole world hates me. If none of you go with me, I'm still going. If none of you said I'll run with you, I'm still running. If nobody says, "Todd I want to go and live this life." I'm going to live this life. If all of you turned against me I'd still love you. If you hated me and spit in my face, I'd turned the cheek and love you back. No matter what. It doesn't matter. If the church said, "You're a hypocrite. You're a liar." I would know that I'm not because I'm right with God. If the church says you're deceived, but I'm in union with the Father. I don't tell them they're wrong I go before the Lord. And say Lord am I wrong in this area? Please Father me. And He fathers me. He fathers me. He fathers me. He fathers me and He wants to father you. He wants to be your dad. He wants to be your best friend. Don't you want this? Don't you want Him to father you? Don't you want Him to cover? You don't you want to hide under the shadow of His wings? Don't you want Him to put you in the cleft of the rock and have all of His goodness pass before you. Don't you want Him to show you His glory? Don't you want Him to set you on fire? So the whole world can watch you burn. That's what this is all about man. It's what all of it's about. I'm sorry I'm preaching long, but it feels good. It does feel good. I love you with all my heart. Some of you are used to like shorter services. I'm sorry, but this is my service. And we have. And we're okay. We're okay. We're okay. And what's it worth for you to be changed forever. How much time are you willing to give God for you to be changed forever? What are you willing to give Him for you to be completely changed in the moment? All of that. What are you willing to give Him to be baptized with Him? To be covered with Him, so immersed in Him, that the world doesn't matter. And the things of the world grow strangely dim. Come on. In the light of his glory and grace. Where the world becomes pale in comparison to this mighty King. This mighty God. See I only got one shot in this world. I'm going to make a lasting imprint. I'm going to leave a legacy of what one man that was fully possessed by God could do, on this earth to the devil's kingdom. I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to leave a legacy of what some man that was possessed by Jesus could do. He is going to destroy hell every day of his life for the rest of his life. Every day that I haven't breath, I'm going to destroy hell. When I'm on an airplane, I'm gonna destroy hell. Devils are gonna leave. I've seen them leave. I've seen flight attendants manifest demons and scream and freak out on planes. Come on. I've seen it happen in churches. What's it worth? What's it worth for you to give your life. So my wife sees. She looks up and sees this lady walking down. She sees the empty scooter. She's really mad. Destiny's hiding behind me. The lady gets closer to my wife, and I'm crying because the lady's healed. She's never stood up straight for 27 years and I'm overwhelmed at God's goodness. Overwhelmed with this little granddaughter that's crying, because her grandma can walk. Like I'm more overwhelmed that the grandma can walk then how mad my wife is. Because I know she's really mad right now. Because she hates confrontation. And I don't mind it. But she hates it. She went to the store so that we could get the job done quicker. And now we're in trouble. Somebody is and that somebody's the devil see. Because he blinds the eyes, less people that are blinded can see. And you carry the glory of the Lord, the light of Him. And with your life with your light... You can take blinders off of people. If you just wouldn't bow to the gods of Baal. If you just hold strong. She went down to my wife my wife is... This lady gets to my wife, she goes puts her hand on her elbow. I can see it She goes. She points at me and my wife, and then she goes... And I can see what's happening. She turned around she lifted up her shirt. Showed her the deep scar of the four surgeries in her back. And my wife went... And I went.... I'm not kidding. It's the best and we're both crying, for different reasons. And this lady bends down and she looks, and I means she's moving crazy. And my wife was like.... They're holding each other. She points down there. The lady's crying and rejoicing. The little granddaughters like... And Destiny's behind me, "Mom's crying. We're in big trouble dad. We're in big trouble." I go, "No mommy's happy." She goes, "What?" She goes, "What's going on?" I said, "I don't know but let's be quiet." Let's be quiet. Mom comes down. She's sobbing uncontrollably. We go to the cash register. The girl drives the scooter out of the store. I am bawling my head off. My daughter is laughing and my wife is bawling her head off. It looks like my daughter's a problem. We leave the store, we go home to the house. I put the groceries away. I go back in my closet and honestly. This is the most important part to me. Went back in my bedroom. I call it my closet. I went back there, and this is what I prayed. God, I thank you so much that you've given me endurance to represent you. And to not ever ever be intimidated by anything. Father I thank you that today my wife saw and knows that you did this miracle. I thank you that I never had to tell her that I was right and she was wrong. That God you actually allowed her to see fruit that hangs on my tree. God I didn't have to try to sell her fruit. She picked it today. And God I thank you that she knows that you're the one that did this. I thank you this woman that you gave me God. I thank you that I don't have to be mad, angry, and you made me a man of a different nature. I'm no longer hateful. I'm longer angry. I no longer get hurt by people, but I hurt for people. God I thank you that you're the King of glory. You decided to live inside of me. And you are amazing and I love you. And I thank you for what you're doing because you're fathering my wife. Your daughter whom you love with everything you are. Just like you love me God. God I thank you that today my prayers are answered. And even if I come out of this closet and my wife doesn't see, I see. Thank you for this woman that you gave me God. I thank you. You are amazing. And I hug the pillow and snot cry for a long time. Because I do it a lot. I come out and my wife's on the couch. Doing that whole, thing we do when we cry hard. And I said, "You okay?" She goes, "God spoke to me." I said, "What'd He say?" He said, "I've given you a new husband. One that you never knew existed. He believes me now. Why won't you?" I said, "What are you gonna do?" She said, "Who am I to stand in the way of God. This has been God all along. I love you'" And I went "Awwwhhhh" When God falls on you in power, you make a line in the sand. You force people to make a decision. They have to run with you or fight against you. But the fight against you becomes nothing, because God is for you. I'm going to say this again. When you get baptized in power, it's very important that you handle it with humility. Because the person in front of you isn't your war. Your war's not against people it's against demonic. It's against the demonic realm. It's not against the people. It's against in their thinking. Religious thinking could be the thing that it's against. But it's not against the person. They are not your war. Those protesters aren't my war. No, no, no. They are people that God loves, and if I can't represent Jesus to them, even if they hate me. I need to love them in return. If my wife is so mad at me. I can't stop talking about Jesus. Why because I'm supposed to wash my wife with the water of the Word. I am supposed to be a man of God. I can't bow to adversity. I bow to Jesus. I will never bow to adversity. You'll have to kill me to shut this up and even then my blood will cry out. I am in love with the King. I am surrendered. I am filled with the Holy Ghost. I am covered with the Holy Spirit. You can think what you want, but I am not afraid. Everywhere I go it doesn't matter. Jesus goes with me. He likes to hang out. He wants to be there. When I shop a shop with Jesus. When I pump gas I pump gas with Jesus. When I go through a mall. I go through Jesus. When I go to family reunion, I go with Jesus. I go with Him. I'm baptized with Him. He covers me and there's more. And every day I say God I need you more, I need you more today. God I ask you to fill me afresh. and anew today. Here I am God. Fill me. Possess me. God give me words for people. Help me prophesy over people. Give me the miraculous God. I want to see everybody. I want to see their completely amputated leg grow out. I want to see blind eyes open. I want to see deaf ears open. I want to see blood changes God. I want to see people get brand new hearts brand new lungs. I want them to go to the doctor and get a brand new kidney. And the doctors say< "What has happened here?" Got here I am use me. I don't care what people say. I want your fire. I want you. I want you to show me your Glory. And every day He does it again and again and again and again. Since that day, that was nine months in my wife called it labor. She said we went through nine months of that. It was labor. She's never fought against me. Now its on. Couple of years later. I was invited on a trip for the Holy Land. I had already seen miracles after miracles after miracles I don't know if you guys ever heard of Benny Hinn. Some of you are like meh. I don't care what you think. I don't because I know what happened to me. I went there and I was out there in the crowd. And I was with them. I was with a lot of people. And I went up to the front. Because I thought God had a seat for me in front. We were the last people there. I was hungry man. I didn't go to the Holy Lands to walk where Jesus walked. I went there to walk like Jesus said we should walk. That's why I went there. I did and I went up to the front and... There was this really big guy and he had a ear piece on you know. Really like, I mean really big guy. And I'm like, "Excuse me." He looks me and he goes, "Can I help you?" I went, "Yeah, I'm supposed to sit up front." He goes, "Right this way." I'm not kidding. He brings me right to the front in the second row in the middle. I'm not supposed to be there. But I am because he sat me there. And all of a sudden Benny he comes out. And he's praying for people and he's preaching. And all of a sudden I see things I've never seen before. I see a seat a chair flip. See some of you guys... well doesn't matter. It was a chair with someone sitting on it. I watched the chair flip in the air the whole way and land on it the feet. With nobody touching it. With a person on it. I knew I'd lose you. It doesn't matter. You'd be happy if you were the one on the chair. If you landed on it. And so I'm seeing people, but I'm seeing people get thrown through the air. Here's what I did. See to a famished man any bitter thing, tastes sweet. And I'm hungry because I need more. I need more. I need more. Oh my God. I don't care what it is. I want it. I want the Holy Ghost. I want more I already have him, but I want more. Do you understand there's more? I want to clear a hospital. I want to see deaf schools go home hearing. I want to see funerals get really really upside down, because the person gets out of the casket. Come on. I don't care. What people think I want it all. I want what the Gospel it says, "Cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out devils. I want that. I want it. I'm going to have it even if nobody goes through with me. I'm going to have it. So all of a sudden, I'm standing there, and he said, "Pastors, ministers, leaders get up here." And everybody's in front of me. I' m in behind again. I'm in the back again, and I was in the front. And the man Benny looks at me. He goes, "Bring that man." And he looked at me. And I was like.... Seriously and I was literally paralyzed. I was like... It was way worse than that. But that same feeling that I felt in the Randy Clark meeting happened again, but it was worse. And electricity went.... Then felt like a light socket. See some of you guys think I'm kidding. I'm really not. And the ushers brought me up front. They carried me big ushers. Carried me up front. I get up to the stage and and Benny was over here. And I was, over here. And I'm standing there and the energy from the electricity was scary. And it was going through me, and I wasn't even like he didn't pray for me. And he looks at me, and he goes "Jesus." And a bolt of electricity hit me in the chest. And that thing that happened to that chair... Picked me off the ground three feet and threw me, this far, with the ushers in the air. I see, I don't know if you really want or understand what I'm telling you right now. See there's no dignity in that place right there. It's out the window. And two other Usher's picked me up and I couldn't, I couldn't function. I'm in the fetal position. They bring me up and he goes, "Jesus." Boom again, and I'm out I'm out no way straighten up pick him up none of that. I'm done finished. But they do. Again. And he says "Jesus" again. Boom a total of four times. Eight ushers out. Me too, included, and I'm on the ground. And they laid me down on the bricks. We're at the Sea of Galilee. What a great place to get rocked by Jesus. And they carried me to my hotel. They get back to my hotel room, and I can't walk. I'm not functional. I'm done. Um actually I was on my bed, and it was a tuning fork. That's what I was and went.... All night long I kept hearing the same sound. And I came to in the morning, after I slept about 40 minutes. And the miracles were insane. And it happened every day all day even more intense intense intense again and again and again. So here's what I'm going to do. I don't know how actually... Because I preached forever. It's almost the next day. I'm going to ask Robby to come up here, if you didn't leave. Here's the deal. This morning we didn't get to finish what we started. I needed to just lay a foundation. And Robby laid a foundation. Stop coming up just wait. I want everybody to stand right where they're at. Robby's my friend. We both believe the same gospel. Here's the deal. We're going to worship Jesus just a little bit. And if you start feeling him... First thing. Here's the first thing the Lord told me. First thing He's going to do is, He's going to fall on leaders. Especially pastors. Pastors that have been taught in their life that this isn't for today. Kind of like the pastor that came up this morning. So what's going to happen is... pastors and leaders it's gonna start, and that's what He told me. So what I'm going to do is, we'll just going to welcome him. He's already here. It's not like he needs a welcome, but I like to because He's awesome. He's amazing. So Jesus, we're hungry. And right now we welcome You. But we don't care what it looks like. We drop our dignity right now. He's gonna land on people all over the auditorium. See you won't even have to make it up here. I'm not kidding. Because He wants to do the same thing he did in me. Same thing he did in Robby. It's going to be beautiful. So Holy Ghost, I ask you for more right now. Come right now. More Holy Spirit touch your people. Jesus I asked you to increase right now, just like today, just like tonight. Come Holy Spirit we welcome you right now. He's going to enforce righteousness like you've never seen it. Come. Right now. More. Lord we don't care what it looks like. We're asking you for more right now come. Holy Spirit come right now. Right now. More. More. You're welcome here God. Do what you do best. Transform right now. Transform us God. Come Holy Spirit baptize you people in fire. Come right now. God we say "Yes." Come right now more. MORE. More. More. Fire fall down. We welcome your presence. We don't care what it looks like. Right now more. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. God do what you did in me! Impart to people right now. Holy Spirit touch the hungry. Touch the hungry. Touch the hungry. Touch the hungry. Touch the hungry. Touch! Touch the hungry. Fire come baptize your people. Touch your people. Touch your people right now. Fire fall down right now. Come. Lift your heart to Jesus right now. Lift your heart to Jesus. Touch. Touch. Touch. Jesus! Fire. Fall down. Pour out your Glory. Come. Come. Come. Come Lord Jesus. Come Lord Jesus. Fire! Come! Just ask Him to fall on you right now. Just ask Him right now. Jesus come. More! More! More! Fire fall! Down on us. Fire fall down on us. Come! We surrender. We surrender. We surrender. We surrender. We surrender. We surrender.

Channel: Todd White

Views: 480,932

Rating: 4.8200097 out of 5

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Id: EWZPZROEWRo

Length: 131min 31sec (7891 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 14 2018