Todd White - Deny Yourself Pick up Your Cross and Follow Him

today I was I was being filled up on Jude it's really amazing just the love of Jesus and where we're supposed to just stay you staying in the love of Jesus and I just wanna I just first fought when I just give honor just to this house it's literally made such an impact on my life and I know many millions and millions around the world but mine has been deeply affected by this I've been saved now this is 13 years that it's been amazing wonderful lovely but the first the first book that I could understand I never read a book before I had serious comprehension this was I I had like a lifetime subscription to issues okay so one of them was comprehension I really did I'm so glad that the blood of Jesus cancelled all returned to sender he's so good and so the Bible became the first book that I could understand at all and it was so crazy I lots of you huh you all of you know my testimony if you don't I was really lost and now I'm absolutely found I was completely blind and I really see and I was dead and alive but dead but alive it's so good but when I was in Teen Challenge I I read a scripture in James I mean I got shot at in a drug deal radical encounter with with salvation a voice that said I took those bullets for you are you ready to live for me yet ten foot away none of the bullets hit my car was the end of 22 years of drug addiction the last time I actually ripped off a dealer was that night and I should have died for it and God spared my life not so that I could live for me but so that I could just give everything to him you know God's not asking for much he's asking you to give up something you were never created to be so that you can become who he says you are it's really not that much I mean mercy woke us up today so that that love gave us one more day to manifest him and not us and it's so good I don't know I don't know like if that right there to me when I woke up this morning and the Holy Spirit was right there in my face saying that's exciting to me my wife says I have two speeds high and off we can be carrying on the conversation and in six seconds I'm and then I wake up in the morning like hey hey guess what no no okay and I go out and I put on my headphones so that I can't hear anything out there and I just cry out and sometimes I sometimes I wake people up but I try not to wake people up I just him in love with Jesus and I'm possessed by his love for me I'm fascinated I'm fascinated that I can wake up and love with him but he doesn't just love me I am actively being loved by my father it's been this revelation for 13 years that I haven't been in condemnation or guilt or shame I just believe the simple gospel and when the enemy whispers I don't rebuke him I just thank God for who I really am I really am so serious it must it's like I don't know why it's complicated the only reason it is is because we don't know the Shepherd's voice because when you know the strangers and you're commanded not to follow it when it speaks there's a No Vacancy sign on your forehead there's no room at the end like I'm for real you're seriously so it's knowing that we've been given the mind of Christ and and and filling our mind with the truth of what God says not just with everything that we can find on it but with the word itself because the word it's not meant for your brain it's meant for your heart and so I was really in cos god I just got a little brain and a big heart and I'm I'm good it's not complicated if you have a big brain you just have you have to have a bigger heart cuz it's not about our big head or how awesome we are it's about how amazing he is and he created it in the image of amazing we were created and it's just awesome you know the Bible doesn't say - now the devil pick up your cross and follow him it says to deny yourself it's so crazy because the first scripture that ever opened up for me a team challenge was in James I was a month and a half in and I'm in every morning I would wake up I mean I lost everything I would had a girlfriend for nine years seven and a half year old daughter told my girl that I would take her out for seven years if she ever left me and she lived in fear but mostly fear that I would take my own life I lost everything I mean I grew up was raised by the Masons when I was 11 years old my mom put me in there I was hooked on porn at eight I was hooked on drugs at 11 I was in this place we didn't even know no one knew what it was not many people know what it is I didn't know what it was but it's the Masonic organization and I'm in there and I've no clue I mean I'd break into the Masonic Temple just to run around and jump on their chairs and stuff I don't know that stuff and I have no idea I joined the Marines after I get kicked out of there and I went AWOL after boot camp I ran away to Colorado and I hid up in the mountains I was living the dream I was like yeah above the clouds serious I got arrested dream over got put in jail got extradited across the u.s. got put in the military prison down at Camp Lejeune I was in the brig and I mouthed off so they put me in segregation I had problems everybody else was my problem everybody else I never took ownership of anything because it was never my fault it was theirs so what happened in the garden same thing so I'm just messed up I get out five and a half months I ran away again I will ran across the u.s. again went and hid in the very same place I got arrested that before silly but this time I made it for a whole year no one caught me then I got pulled over by the cops and then I have five cops with 9-millimeters at my head then I get put back in jail and then they extradite me a second time and they put me in military prison again and I'm sitting in there for about six months and they kicked me out they weren't gonna let me wait they gave me a bad conduct discharge gave me a big chicken dinner and that does not look good on any resume so I lied a lie to lie to lie to lie I lied my whole life I live my whole life to everyone in everything I had to make other people look bad to make me look good I had to like it was so crazy I was like the class clown the guy that the focus of attention I had that draw all attention to me cuz I had no idea who I was no clue and then fast forward met that girl moved in all this stuff nine years into our relationship 7f four old daughter I go out one night come home and she's gone I drove to her stepdads to get a rifle I was gonna end my life on the way to the gun cabinet I flipped open a phone book and it opens two churches that was not what I was looking for and I drove to this church as angry as could be and I told this guy a piece of my mind do you know that as a Christian you don't have the right to give anybody a piece of your mind you have to give them his it's so amazing but if you don't know his thoughts or his mind because we've been given the mind of Christ it's so crazy says don't be conformed to the world would be transformed by the renewing of our minds so that we can approve what is what is not God's will this is and this is not and all of a sudden like I'm given this pastor this and he gives me a piece of God's mind and this is what he says he says it's apparent that you don't want your life why don't you give it to somebody that does and to me I had no idea like why would someone want my life all I've done is hurt steal kill destroy and he said Jesus this is Jesus I did not come here to hear about Jesus he said this is a church but I was so unchurched and I didn't understand any of that stuff in the last place that I believed Jesus was at if he was real was a church so he shared the gospel with me this is what he shared he said that Jesus didn't just die for me because I was so horrible he paid a price for me because I was worth the blood and I said what are you talking about and he sits see the cross isn't just the revelation of your sin it's the revealing of your value and to one that was worthless and valueless that made no sense but he kept persisting that it was true and I said whatever if he wants my life he can have it because I don't want to dare that was my prayer so now I had become a confessing Christian which Jesus didn't tell us to be so I went home and I called my daughter and I said you need to tell mommy that daddy found God and she said what's he like dad seven and a half year old kid I said I don't know just being honest and I said but this guy there's something in his eyes I have no idea what it is but I have to find out because he said there's a God and he said that he'll change my life and daddy wants to change his life she said that's great dad but mommy's never coming home I mean I have ruined everything and for seven of my for seven years I had those threats but for most of those years that my daughter can remember mom had her up all night long sitting there telling her how much of a loser and a liar because she wasn't a Christian and I was destroying our life so she kept our daughter up every night telling her every night I was out on a binge which was most nights how much of a liar and a loser her daddy is it's so crazy so she kicks and screams she gets mom to come home I tell her everything's gonna change she said now you're gonna be a hypocrite you liar and it was true I didn't want it to be true because I hated hypocrites more than anything so Christianity was mine out of all religions I hated that one the worst because I just solved the most people that would talk about God but didn't live anything like what they talked about one day a week I didn't like it and I know that we know and this is in the Church of that what I'm telling you that it's the prevalent thing all over the world if you travel you'll see and you I talk to people every day all day long about the gospel because my my greatest heart cry just today I wake up I said God I need you to make me a better witness because I don't want people to go to hell I need you to help me reach people help me to be the man that you created me to be help me be a man that hears your voice help me be a man that represents you help me be the husband that you created me to be help me to be the father you created me to because God without you I'm nothing and I know you'll never leave me nor forsake you but John I have to more of you you have to do it in my life I need you God please Here I am and I know we don't have to beg him but he needs to know I am a hungry hungry than ever I need him I need his presence I need his presence I need the reality of him upon my life I need everyone around me when I'm on an airplane to tremble and to shake I need riches to start freaking out when Jesus is on a plane and since he lives in me and he's told me to represent him and I've been given his mind and the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in me and he wants to quicken my mortal body now not just when I resurrect now now it's where salvation works itself out in and through me with fear and trembling I'm in love with Jesus I'm in love with God and the love of God this perfuse and amazing and wreck what that does to your heart is it makes you stay in a place of self control and self control it's just so amazing his voice it's the dominant voice and every other voice doesn't matter him I can't afford to listen to a stranger's voice I can't he tries to whisper to me he's silly the stranger here he tried to bring condemnation to me in the beginning of my life but I got taught by this amazing man of God how to do it I said to him I said dude you're my spiritual father and he said Todd the Bible says call no one on earth your father and that's job but you're my spiritual father because and he was the only one that would talk to me because just cuz because I was a I was a a big case he said Todd if you don't go into your bedroom and find out who your father is you're in trouble cuz she'll date you'll call me on the phone one day and I won't be there and you'll be an orphan on the other line because your dad didn't answer the phone but if you find out that you have a connection to your father through Jesus you'll be able to speak straight to your father every day and you won't just know that he's your father but he will father you and I've got this eternal father that came to dwell inside of me it's amazing he lives in me he likes to live in me I didn't choose him he chose me there was a day when I said yes but he said yes way before I didn't he knew me before the foundation of the world before my mom and my dad ever came together he knew that I was gonna be here and he knew all the jump that I was gonna do he knew it all and he didn't say not nope that one's not gonna be born not at all that's not what God thinks he's just pretty awesome he is my mom and my dad they weren't like seeking God they weren't Christians they weren't like wow they came together they weren't like okay let's have a boy let's try it again that's not how it happens to the way that I came into the world was that my mom looked hot to my dad they weren't married they weren't thinking let's have a baby they were thinking let's have sex because that's what it is but there's the byproduct of sex that comes out and sometimes kids are born normal sudden parents are overwhelmed with circumstances and the problem is that we allow a mom whose identity is wrapped up in her pain lack suffering and she has no idea who she is all of a sudden we allow her voice to speak louder than God's voice and tell me who I'm not when God is trying to tell me who I am so on the night of conception let me just break it down for you my favorite book is purity that you did the ring rekt me I could hardly function hardly function because I believe that God wants to do something in the body of Christ I believe he wants to restore purity to the body of Christ oh no it's like and it's not something Laurie we've got to be jewelry that'll walk the line you can't walk the line and be pure you can't bite your lip and do good you'll chew your lip off your face you have to be in love with Jesus full-on he has to be your everything he has to be the bread that you eat he has to be the water that you drink his blood is the real drink his body the bread is the real food and unless that's your very sustenance you'll wander around in the wilderness just like the Israel's just like the Israelites did man who was everyday in front of their tent and they had no idea that that was it right there that was it and Jesus was the bread that came down from heaven and every day he was everything for them but they were out there selfish and so grumbling complaining and when's my time when's it going to happen when's my day gonna happen and it already happened his manner right there right there eleven days it would have taken but it took forty years and even the ones that grumbled died they're never made it in don't say this is the Joshua generation because you'll die where you are it's everybody running together as one but Jesus has to be heaven's final answer is Jesus Jesus in pastor the father's fuck they Facebook they were spoken to by the prophets but in these last days God hath spoken he has he has spoken to us by his son Jesus is heavens answer and without relationship with that Jesus there's no possible for wait there's no way for you to function and there's bread every day there is food every day his name is Jesus you need to eat Jesus sleep Jesus breathe Jesus drink Jesus live Jesus heavens provided everything for you you know the Israelites during this wilderness they're out there and they're grumbling and complaining and they died there so if you would say that you're in a wilderness the only wilderness you're really allowed to be in is the one that Jesus went in and he came out and the Holy Ghost and power but he wasn't in there complaining he went into that world and his selfish self selfless and he came out in the Holy Ghost in power and he went about doing good and he healed everybody that was oppressed by Hell so powerful and amazing and beautiful what a king and he chose to come live in you huh greater love has nobody than this and we're not finding this out I'll lay my life down every day every day so back to my mom and dad are you ready so on the night of conception when my dad and my mom they came together they weren't thinking let's have a talk they weren't children are a gift from heaven but if parents don't know who they are it's a bummer for them but you can't afford to allow their bummer for them to influence the reality of who you're created to be we have this thing out there called rejection and rejection and rejection the only reason that we live in rejection is peace if we don't understand that we have been accepted in the beloved and if we've been accepted in the beloved how can a man a woman a child a co-worker anybody take away what they never gave you I didn't get my identity from my natural father I got my identity from my heavenly father but if I don't grow in that and grow in the knowledge of the Lord and the spirit of wisdom and revelation and the knowledge of him I will live as a mere man and I will think like hell headed to heaven and I'll hope I make it by the skin of my teeth and praise God I hope you don't have skin on your teeth mom and dad came together and all of a sudden in a birth canal there's 80 million chances of me do you get it could be millions more or less probably more but let's just say 80 million chances of me headed for the egg and everybody else is faster than me cuz I'm the slow one I'm the one that likes behind and I'm back there and all of a sudden I look up I get close to the path and right around this egg all these little dudes you guys see Nemo little dude all these little dudes trying to get in they got jackhammers and sledge hammers and saws trying to get in boom boom natural instinct get out of my way boom boom boom we're talking millions right at the egg and I'm coming I'm like I don't know what's going on but something's pushing me forward I don't I don't know what's happening and then all of a sudden I whoa oh right inside the egg with no tool with no hammer with nothing and I'm in there wondering what just happened but then all of a sudden my voice that hasn't been trained by the world says hey sorry guys I was predestined before the foundation of the world but unfortunately we don't think that way because we allow life to potter us we allow circumstances to mold us instead of the Word of God because the truth of who God says you are crushes everything I don't care who's against me God is for me he is for me and he is an amazing father he's a good good father that's who you are that's who I should write that I'm loved by him that's who I am this is what it boils down to you and this is what I've believed for 13 years he's a good good father he's a good good father and I'm no longer safe to feed him cuz I hear I'm a child of God I'm no longer cuz I hear of a child of God from my mother's womb oh oh he has chosen me predestined for the foundation of the world low has cold mountain hmm I've been born again wait wait let me do it again there's darkness over here I've been born again whoa see a natural mom and natural dad it didn't work well that way but now I know why I'm here into a family whoa wait a minute what was that Oh Slough would you say love has called my name oh thank you Jesus I'm no longer safety feeding her cuz I am a child of God I'm no longer safe to be here no no cuz I am a child of God that's it that's really it that's that's it he said so but if anything else comes to dominate what God says you're in trouble and there's so many theories that are trying to compete for your soul so much stuff listen your spirit man craves the bread of God your spirit man craves Jesus he craves Jesus and once you've feasted upon the bread upon the word and upon the truth then the theories of man you have no appetite for the theories of man anymore and it doesn't matter what people say because you're possessed by love itself it's not God doesn't say I love you come on say it back we're trained that way we're trained to have to need it back a lot of times people say I love you not because they do but because they need to hear it back so they can feel okay about saying it first that's not our Father he just says I love you period and when you see that as he is we become like him and then as you think in your heart so are you Oh if anybody's saying that they would abide in him he ought walk just as he walked I don't know about you but that excites me I get to walk like Jesus walk this is crazy ridiculous and amazing all together like it's absurd it's actually crazy us listening to your message today I'm Grayson just I'm sitting here like I wanted to come up and grab tools man I'm so excited I'm like he's asking for the other tool no no no that's not it that's that's the other one you weren't here get it it was really good we can't afford to be so weighed down with tools that our tool belt sagging we have to know the one that helps us use them they're all available you can have as much of God as you want and it's not like I must decrease and he must increase it's like he wants to cover all of me with all of him that's so good he wants to put me on like a glove I love that where I could walk into a place I get on a plane and sit beside the guy who I have so many these testimonies are so crazy I mean ridiculous stuff crazy sit beside a guy and I go hey how you doing he's okay he's a business guy he looks at me like that and he's got a devil and it's a bummer for him I'm not intimidated it's like I'm never gonna die I'm just gonna go be with Jesus so I'm really not preaching some weird thing it says that to live is Christ and to die is gain so why would I be afraid of game you know Jesus doesn't want some of you he wants all of you and it's not about being here at a pulpit it's about your life becoming one that's about everything you do and everything you say whether in Word or in deed you do everything as unto the Lord and offer people you do it unto God you're working for the band seated at the right hand oh yes Lord like I showed up for service flipping burgers yes Lord in and out such an honor it's my beautiful bride Jackie she's my best friend in the whole world besides Jesus gosh I need to move for a will get done ever you guys okay okay oh my gosh so many different things I'll get there just hold on just listening in my heart there is great increase great increase available and there is a and when I came here I just felt such an amazing crazy hunger crazy hunger crazy and I'm so thankful for that so I just want to let you know you won't go away without the increase that you came for okay just wanted to share that alright okay it sounds like a big a big promise but I couldn't fulfill it he would have to do that so and set got up but if he told me to say it and it's okay it's saying stuff that he didn't tell you to say so this guy is squirming and I said heck I'll tell you the Jesus loves you so much you know he's a grown man his family's on the other side of the aisle I'm sitting here please just leave me alone not again meaning somebody else some other Christian sat beside him before I said to him Jesus loves you so much please stop puts his book up right here I start sharing the goodness of God with him he goes please I said man I said one day one day one day you're you're gonna bow before my king it should be before you meet him on that day please please stop please please please I said father I thank you Jesus happier way he was quiet no more words done no more words to say coz Devils have to shut up I'm really I'm serious I'm not claiming to be anything I just my dad is amazing he's way more interested in this was a great word today bro Chris brought a great work to you I loved that man he's way ahead way ahead and he's way more interested than I am about this cares way more about this than I do and I care with everything I am if you didn't hear it today yet it was good sorry so he so I'm sitting there and he finally test me goes I go yeah he goes could we switch seats I go okay I said but I'm gonna be ministering to the stewardesses and bringing Jesus so if you want to happen if you want that to happen over your laughs we can do it because because I just want to sit closer to my wife I'm like oh sure go ahead yeah okay hey how are you doing Jesus thinks you're amazing you know that one of us is really uncomfortable I'm really uh I'm in love see perfect love see I have been perfectly loved by Jesus like like I've drove into what righteousness is and I don't know it all but I know that I'm right with God and that's all that's all I know but if that's all we really need to know what if we dove in to the reality of right standing what if Jesus who knew no sin ever never sinned once never ever he did it all for me and and then he became sin the one that knew no sin became sin so that I could become something but what if I don't know what I've become if I don't know what I've become I'll still be striving to try to enter in and I'll try to enter in by my works and we won't think it's works but it is so you can't get in there that way there's no possible way for you to get in there the only way to get in is to believe the gospel you have to believe the simplicity of the gospel you have to believe the simple cross the simple message of Jesus Christ and then crucified he was crucified for my offences bah and he nailed the devil right hook boom the devil got a little bit like punch drunk but he shook it off he said tap him on a tree tap him on a tree he was crucified for my offences got the right hook and then Jesus died he thought he won Oh crucified for my offenses but then all of a sudden here comes the uppercut this is the one that sent him down this is the one that that knocked him out see the devil thinks he once he was crucified for my offenses are you with me Romans 4:25 yeah and then he was raised for my justification that one right there was blah see health thought that they had victory because they killed our King boy the devil had no idea see if he didn't known that when Jesus said unless the seat falls into the ground and dies it abides at home but he didn't catch that one cuz all the devil knows how to do is steal kill and destroy isn't it amazing that Jesus's life you see he gets baptized in the River Jordan for the last three and a half years of his life like The Devil's trying to get him he's trying to get him and Jesus like ah and then he tried to get him again uh sits right in Fuhrman and from the minute they tried to kill him his first message Jesus freaks the first message I mean the son of God he goes and they're like he's like this scriptures fulfilled today they're like what who is this guy let's throw him off a cliff his first time out of the gate your first breach how'd you do they took me to the edge of the cliff the devil couldn't take him out he couldn't take him out the enemy tried couldn't couldn't couldn't couldn't but then there was that time don't you think it would have been weird for the enemy because see he couldn't do it and all of a sudden Jesus is letting them rip his beard out yeah and all of Hell cuz man when the enemy knew that he could touch Jesus it was full-on full-on you know Jesus is hanging there on a tree it's so ridiculous and the devil thinks he won and when you see him there you don't really see him there you know what I'm saying because when you see him you can't really recognize him the Bible says that he was unrecognizable he was completely marred beyond any man his flesh was ripped apart he was Lord beyond any man ever you couldn't recognize him the passion he did a great job but he was still recognizable on the tree on the movie a lot of people say I can't watch that that's just too gross you need to tape your eyelids open and watch that and stop singing the song I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon the cross you need to know how much it cost to see your sin upon that cross because that determines how much you're worthless to God the cross isn't just the revelation of your sin the cross is the revealing of the value sin was an issue but something underneath of that sin was of great importance for the father to go bankrupt to get you back to come and get you back so Jesus is marred beyond any man you came a recognizing why was he marred I know that it's by His stripes real I get that but it's more than that he was marred beyond any man why because God created us in the beginning in His image and in the likeness of God he made man man didn't look like anything he was created to look like ever because see he took on the very nature of the enemy in the garden so Jesus had become unrecognizable so you and I could be recognizable to the Father again that's amazing unrecognizable because sin had so Jesus became so that we might become duh not because of our own righteousness but because of his righteousness it's not because I've earned it that's because jesus paid a price for me to become it no it's not see you can't do to be you're not a doobie you're not your Abbi dude it's not about doing to be it's about being to do see all of your all of your stuff all of your life comes out of being right with God and you're doing is a by procter being see the miraculous as a byproduct of sonship it's the reality of what sons and daughters do they manifest their father I get to manifest my dad every day of my life and it's exciting yeh like God chose to live in me he likes to live here like when I look in the mirror I don't go oh no I go whoa I see you in there huh I cry I looked in my eyes and cry it's not arrogant that's God fit in I believe that I am who my father says I am what do you believe you are come on Jesus wants to know who do you think you are who do you think you are I know he said who do people say I am some say this and some say that yeah but who do you think who do you believe I am Peter Jews the Christ whoa oh yeah see he had to splash a lot of people say they can relate to Peter because of this but if you're relating to Peter you better relate to the right one because that Peter wasn't saved yet Peter wasn't born again back there you don't want to relate to that one or you just need born again you read first Peter and second Peter it's a different man why because there's just something different see now he's met Jesus the Daystar had risen in Peters heart and the prophetic word was confirmed just like he heard this is my son and whom I'm well pleased on the day of Pentecost when the Holy Ghost came down Peter rose up with great boldness because the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead was in him and upon him and this man was confident in his salvation and confident that all of his sins and lawless acts were forgiven imagine being Peter trying to get over denying Jesus the only way for him to get over denying Jesus is to have his past removed and his past couldn't be removed until Jesus was crucified and resurrected and on the day of Pentecost Peter was convicted of what of the three things that Jesus said the Holy Spirit was coming to do the Holy Spirit was coming to convict the world of sin because they don't believe in him Peter definitely believed in him one down convict the world of righteousness because I was going to be with he was going to be with his father now this is what happened and this is what I believe the body of Christ needs to be convicted of our righteousness this is this this is where this is where I live see I live in conviction I have lived for thirteen years without guilt shame or condemnation people have told me I can't preach that you're wrong people have told me that I can't speak about that upset myself poor fall you're wrong I'm not I'm believing the gospel I believe in the gospel Jesus said I'm forgiving who do I think I am to say I'm not jesus said he didn't just forgive it he forgot it and he'll never bring it up again because he loves me so what if I believe the gospel what if I just believe the simple gospel truth what if I believe what if I believe set in Corinthians eleven it says oh you bear with me in a little foolishness and indeed you do bear with me for I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy it is good to be jealous for people with a godly jealousy and I am I'm jealous for the body of Christ to step into being normal that's it that's all I want to do I just want to raise the standard to normal and I'm not gonna do it by me preaching at people I'm gonna do it by living my life and believing the truth and living without guilt without shame and without condemnation but with massive conviction I will live my life with massive conviction and when God speaks to me I will jump and it doesn't matter what it is about it doesn't matter and I know when he's speaking to me because it will line up with his word because God in His Word or one as a matter of fact he's magnified his word above his own name so God thinks pretty highly of his word but if you don't think is highly about his word as he does what are we going to do you can't just study all these different things and I'm I'm not saying don't have books I've read them all the time but if you don't allow the Bible in the truth of God's Word you need relationship with the author because he is the author and finisher of your faith he's the Perfector of salvation he is the captain of our salvation you've enlisted into an army and everybody that he listens to army wants to please the one that enlisted him and we're not supposed to for take of stuff outside of service that doesn't mean it's legal or this isn't a legal thing you can't like I said through legalism do the right thing you have to do by relationship but legalism can't legalism can't do it legalism tries to and it can tries to put standards and strongholds on people you need to do this and do this and do this and do this and do this and you can't but when you fall in love with Jesus all of a sudden your conviction that if one died then all died that those that live should no longer live for them self but for the one who gave himself for them all of a sudden you become convicted of your righteousness I'm right with God whoa I'm right with God the devil says no you're not you say Father thank you so much I'm right with you the devil says you're worthless oh God thank you that the blood of Jesus has made me worth it the devil says well you shouldn't have done that father I thank you that's a man that no longer exists I love you even if it was yesterday you say father I thank you so much I've repented which means that all unrighteousness has been washed off of me and understand before you right and I can boldly approach the throne of grace in time of need and when's the last time you didn't need Jesus so we're not living in the throne room and just live in his presence and live with this goodness and live with this mercy and live believing the truth and let the truth set you free and just be free because whom the Sun sets free is free indeed doesn't matter that people say you can't be free you can't be free but it happens in your bedroom on your knees with your Bible and you fill your soul with the truth so I'm jealous for people with a godly jealousy why because we have been betrothed hmm we've been set up with one husband oh it's amazing he talks about husband in Romans seven he refers to any thought about a husband and wife and if the husband dives the wife is released he's talking about the law the husband dies she's released from she's released from him and he goes into that Romans seven is in the confusion Romans seven is telling people that if you're trying to do it your own strength you're gonna fall short if you're if you're dead in Romans six how can you be alive in Romans seven I don't know get it so I just wanted to go there that's a whole different thing such demonic strategy set up to tell the body of Christ who they're not don't listen to every voice you need to be a voice not an echo and the only way that happens is you hear his voice for yourself this God only made one of you and each one of you is fearfully and wonderfully made God knows every hair on your head even this he has four thoughts for me then outnumber the grains of sand in the whole world and every thought is from my welfare wouldn't it be ashamed if you didn't know any of his thoughts how horrible would that be if you didn't know five of his thoughts for you you know what five of his thoughts could do for you if you thought about them all day long it would change your life just the one thought that God so loved the world that He gave His only beloved son so then whoever would believe in him and believe means absolutely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt and actually gives an example of a house with no empty rooms it does for the word belief so your house has no empty rooms because it's occupied by truth the spirit of truth comes he will guide you in your all truth cool ultras not some truth it's not this their light of mine it's not you were a blazing Inferno you are a flamethrower yeah let me ask you this if someone's on fire and you put them in the fire what happened nothing you're already on fire but does that make sense if I put fire in a fire nothing happens because it's already on fire but if I'm trying to get on fire when I'm in the fire you'll be burned but if you're on fire when you go through the fire you'll come out you won't even smell like smoke you'll smell like fire okay that didn't go over well all right I know what it means because I'm in fires all the time I love them I'm not afraid of them consider it joy when you face these drops joy yeah you know the trial I consider it amazing because the trials come if need be for the purifying of your faith so that stuff comes it's it's it's needed for the purifying of your faith actually for the testing of your faith to see what you're made of so the more trials you can't even get to Kristin maturity unless you go through them anyway don't try to go another way it doesn't happen don't try to avoid the fire be a living sacrifices just stay there trials produce patients people say well I hate patients I don't like Pacers patients is hard no patience for me breathing that again you guys want to be perfect they complete lacking nothing they better let patience have it's perfect work in you because that's how you'd be perfect a complete lack of nothing I don't like patients the reason why I don't like patient says you don't like love because the first thing love is is patient I promise all this stuff I'm spouting now you think boy he's in trouble Devers after him let him come I'm not afraid I'm not afraid even if none go with me I'm going know why cuz you can't stop this you can't stop love pure love love that doesn't expect anything from the person in front of them love that doesn't seek it self love that is patient love that is kind I love people not for what I can get from them because I would lay my life down for any of you and that's not just boasting or popping off I'm telling you that I have made up my mind I've pushed all my chips to the center of the table and there ain't no going back and nobody is gonna make me turn around no situation no voice I have determined in my heart to not ever allow sin against me to produce in within me ever it's not going to happen I will not calm a harsh word with a harsh word I will not be upset if someone despitefully uses me I can't be I need to pray for them that doesn't mean praying and and and you hear what they did and all this not and all this and all that no no you better be on your knees when no one's looking and it better it better turn your heart into into a place of real soft pliable putty so that you can stand there before your father left the person got before the throne and say father I thank you it's very important and I've lived that way and gone I've gone through so much stuff do you think that this brings none we have any idea what an epidemic this is just hair it's my fishing lure how maybe you saw avatar see the movie avatar remember this okay for those of you that didn't don't watch it sorry like a DD in the spirit like what's next I was telling them earlier this this is what I do I'm a seed sewing machine that's it I fill myself with the truth I get on my knees before God and I say make make me become what this word says God don't let me just read this because cuz if I just read this doesn't become I'm gonna be me and people don't want me they want you God I'm asking you to help me I need to be the best witness you created me to be come help me speak through me use me today use me speak through me let me reach people today God help me help me Jesus please God I need your help father I thank you your word says my life has been transformed God it's all in your word your word your word your word your word God it says that says God you a desire to present me you've been you've betrothed me to one husband that I might be presented as a chaste virgin to Christ as a chaste virgin one that's never slept with the world before one that's never been with the world before one whose mind is completely free from debris and the way that seems right to a man has been washed away because the blood of Jesus has cleansed my conscience from dead works in order to serve God Father fill this conscience with the truth of who you say I am God I will live with a conviction and when you speak out do it God you speak I'll jump I won't hesitate not even a partial hesitation god I don't want to be 98% pure I wouldn't drink water that had a label on it says 98% pure that's silly no it's a hundred or none it's for or against its gather or scatter God's just looking for full surrender he's not looking for compromise he's not looking for it man you're letting the enemy just gain ground in your life by compromising this is not ninety five and five no you're ninety five becomes ninety or ninety becomes eighty five before you know it you're straddling a fence it's not okay there was an atheist that had a dream and on the one side of this field there was this all these people and all these people that were walking around with the enemy they were walking around the devil he didn't have pointy ears and a pitchfork he actually was attractive but he knew it wasn't the other one because on the other side of the fence there was Jesus and he was walking around and all these people were that's a theist has this dream and all of a sudden there's this fence down the middle and he can't make a decision he jumps up on the fence and he stands there and all of a sudden everybody disappear everybody disappears it's making sure you're listening I said it twice everybody they're gone the man's like what is going on and all of a sudden the devil pops back into the picture he goes there you are I was looking for you and the man says hey I didn't choose him and I definitely didn't choose you he said sure you did the fence is mine it's really true see Jesus said I wish that you were either cold or hot cold or hot I struggle with that because see I don't get it I didn't get it I get born again I read this scripture I'm like oh okay cold or hot that's so crazy gone I was like so out there like so out there and then I see people that at least they're going to church I didn't understand what that what the difference was but God says Todd cold I can switch you like a light switch cold too hot but you have to believe the finished work of Christ you have to believe that I did it all and that your job is to learn what I did but you're to learn from me jesus said all of you who are weary and burdened down and weighed down by life come to me and I will give you rest but he didn't tell you to rest then and stay there because there's a continued scripture it says come to me and I will give you rest all of you who work to exhaustion come to me and I will give you rest and then he said now take my yoke upon you and learn from me take my yoke upon you my yoke is easy and my burden is light and learn from me for I am meek and lonely and you will find rest for your soul the only way to find soul rest isn't when you get born again when you get born again you get that initial initial rest for this no mouth Shack knows no no chains I am free to run then you go out of the church I need to go back there because I can't run out here you can you get on your knees it's easier to run I promise you all of a sudden God starts to speak to you and he starts to pour identity into you he starts to pour his truth into your soul and then Jesus no longer as a crutch he's the anchor he's the anchor of your soul he's in movable he doesn't move he's steadfast but without the power of the blood this what can wash away my sin what can you make me whole again Oh precious is the flow that makes me white as snow no fountain I know nothing but the blood of Jesus without that right there without a reality and a revelation in the finished work of Christ and what he's done he will never get to a place of finding rest for your soul because rest for the soul is come it comes when the finished work of Christ hits this and all of a sudden God starts to fill you with his mind for you and his thoughts for you that outnumber the grains of sand see if you fill your mind with five thoughts it would possess you if you filled it with ten it would overcome you if you filled it with twenty it would overwhelm you and if you filled it with more it would overtake you if you fill your soul with what God thinks about you when the Dever the one the devil whispers to you it's exposed it's exposed you don't have to rebuke the devil you're not even told to rebuke the devil anyway you're not you're you're not told to even listen to him he's a stranger's voice Jesus said the Shepherd's voice I will follow and as strangers I will not I will not you will hear this the Shepherd's voice and the strangers voice I will not fallout when the stranger whispers you're supposed to know the truth that sets you free you're not supposed to rebuke the devil you're supposed to thank Jesus you're supposed to eat with Jesus this is where you step into the place where you are being loved by your father you guys alright okay cuz I'm Bernie oh yeah he'll meet you hey looky here see that that's my baby look Paul oh yes no guy right here he was born addicted to heroin we adopted him oh oh oh can I tell you about him okay now I'm gonna preach you ready okay I want to talk about the spirit of adoption this is where it's at because when you see the spirit of adoption you when you see that God has delivered us out of darkness and back actually let's go with even Ephesians 5 it says that you were darkness it doesn't say you weren't a little dark I didn't say you kind of had darkness it doesn't even say you're in the shade doesn't say you were a little shady it says you were darkness you were completely dark you were darkness itself you were dark the Bible says in Matthew 6 verse 22 it says the lamp the eye is the lamp of the body and if your eye is single your whole body will be full of light but if the light that is in you is darkness how great is that darkness and I understand we have the capacity to house light but how you house light is how you see and how you see it's how you see him and now you see him is how you see you because as he is so are we are you with me we have to set our mind on things above and not beneath so when I was darkness when I was lost when I was dead God took me out of the kingdom of darkness and he placed me into another Kingdom he placed me into the kingdom of the son of his love now God does not just tolerate me God does not love you but doesn't like you we teach that in the body and it's not okay to teach that it's not okay God loves you but he doesn't like you that's not true God doesn't tolerate you he's profusely in love with you and if you catch flips of that which see sometimes in the body of Christ we say well God loves you but he doesn't like you that's not biblical he loves you perfuse he loved you so much that he sent his son God knew your life and he sent his son any way he knew how to I stood he knew that I was gonna be wrapped in drug addiction he knew that he knew it and he still sent his son from me in my sin God said I love him and if he loved me when I was sinning and I was against him when I was horrible how much more would he freely give me all things why not why wouldn't I just believe the truth well I'm just not worthy get over yourself in your own strength you're not look sometimes we're we get these complexes and we get these issues and it's its attitude instance instead of gratitude and it's not okay and sometimes we get hurt by this one and we can hurt by this one and we get hurt by this one dude they're not your problem you are get over you you're the issue if someone else hurts you it's not because it's them it's because it's you look there's a lot of people that don't even go to church because of this they're offended and they're hurt I don't want to go to church because I was there and they hurt me they didn't notice me quick enough and they didn't give me a microphone and I have a gift and they didn't notice me and I'm going somewhere else where they'll appreciate me and then they go somewhere else all of a sudden something else is wrong with them and they yeah well they got this let's see if they love they don't love I see yeah you're not looking to find love you're looking a fight fault I only get offended and we get hurt and it's all about us it's not about Jesus it's about awesome me me me me have you seen my gift have you seen me function give me a poem bitch I will set you free how demonic is that look at me look what I did they fell down when I prayed they're stupid see sorry when I pray the devil ran away look at me the disciples prayed and Devils ran away and they weren't even saved then they wanted to blow up cities because of it see who's first and who's hey I'm better than them tell him Lord Tong grant us permission to sit on your right left now we're the sons of thunder do it what is that it's demonic strategy and that's what happens when you have power but don't know you're adopted you can move in great gifting and I'm all for it I get to share the heart of Jesus every day of my life somewhere for somebody everywhere multiple times I'll probably tell my testimony three four or five times a day every day everywhere I go and I love seeing people healed I love seeing them shake and rattle and get free but I love Jesus more than anything in my life I love it I love it I love it he loves me watch this he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me he loves me and when I kept the whole way around the other side other petals have grown out and they say the same thing forever I've lived this way for 13 years is it possible to live it for 14 yes is it possible to let the love of God consume me every day to let his burning heart for me which shows me his burning heart for you because when I love God with all my heart with all my soul with all my mind and with all of my weakness because it's his strength and enables me to do it it's God who wills in and through me to accomplish for his good pleasure he wants to do it in me it's his good pleasure to do it so he burns inside of me so you can't love God with all your strength it's in your weakness your weakness is a magnet for the strength of God to strengthen yourself in the Lord you can't strengthen yourself in you it's not about chocolate you're gonna find what works for you brother what is that it's Jesus well you know I tried that no you did well I tried the word it didn't work for me no no no no that's not how it goes well I try I did I read the word I you just can't get it with your brain you think you're so smart you're not so smart you just didn't read it on your knees weeping crying over the lamp see he really loves us oh my I hope you're getting something from this I I am I promise I'm so strengthening my it's like core training for me it is the righteousness is poor training because if your core strong everything else functions well and if Jesus is the chief Cornerstone and we're the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus and your foundation doesn't have a cornerstone your building only gets so high before it collapses and you're falling and you're done we don't need another fall we don't need idolatry to end a movement we don't we need the pure and heart that see God we need somebody that's so a bend to love itself that their priority is before the mass for every day see that picture right there you see that picture right there you see that that's the gospel yes what if John the Baptist did you guys see the Bible series shit they weren't real but they were dreads I saw ok Jesus help me I want to get to my son so the spirit of adoption when we get saved the spirit of adoption comes and all of a sudden our spirit I mean it in first Corinthians 2 it describes the reality of the when we get born again our spirit the depth of man our spirit cries out and then to this then the spirit that he reveals the deep things of God and all of a sudden our spirit is linked to the Holy Spirit and they become one spirit with him we're one spirit with him so up sudden we're hooked up to the Father now in the beginning when you read the word and you start to get in there this link isn't recognized it's not because it's not it's not with a natural mind the carnal mind is at war against God it's not revealed to the carnal mind so we're trying to get in there with our head we read the Bible we now read it in a year it's not to be read into here Oh God oh my chief that scares me actually I already read the Bible a whole year Oh God what you get it's to be the word the word is to be eaten every day it's to be our very sustenance it's to be our very it's oh it's it's to be our everything when I get in there I I see God's heart for me his heart and I my god that's so beautiful I don't read the word so I could preach I read the word so I can become what it says I get in there says the eye and the word can become one because we already are one so the Holy Spirit he reveals he breathes Hebrews 4:12 says that this it says that he divides the word is sharp alive and active he divides my soul from my spirit he divides the soul from the spirit the soul from the spirit of Thunder so he drives he drives this separation between the way that seems right to a man in your soul your mind he willed your emotions he separates this so your brain doesn't get it so when you're reading your brains not getting it but your spirit man is getting it and so when we start to free to feed on the bread of God we start to feed on the word our spirit gets the nutrients that it needs and then all of a sudden we're craving the milk of the word and we're actually start reading it you're not really craving it but it's good and then we're craving it some more and it's better and then we're craving it some more and the spirit starts to bubble up things to your brain and it starts to renew your mind little bits and pieces at a time not so that you can just preach it out it has to bake in the oven for a while and then it's gotta bake and then when it rises and it's ready it arrives so much that will rise up here and then all of a sudden you go a revelation oh I got this revelation it's so beautiful oh my gosh it's so good I gotta tell everybody and God like he whispers to you not yet there's more and then all of a sudden there's more that comes and it goes for me it's like a puzzle where I got this this this and this and this and then one day I read one scripture and all of it goes and it comes together oh my and I see him oh that's so good I got a shirt like where to go no I still gotta bake some more it's not done so it's the only way I know how to describe it but the Spirit of God he reveals the deep heart of God the deep things of God he reveals it to me to my spirit man and all of a sudden my spirit and Holy Spirit they just they start to establish this amazing relationship and my my body begins to sense that my flesh begins to sense it my my fit my feelings my but my awareness starts to sense it and then all of a sudden the Word of God exists a live sharp and active able to separate divide and separate the soul from the spirit starts to renew my mind and it says it divides it divides the joint the joint from the marrow so the joint the marrow never touched so for me that means the Word of God goes cellular and my physical body starts to actually sense the changes that are coming because of the truth of God's Word actually it says that the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in me Romans 8:11 he will quicken my mortal body actually for me that means that he's quickening my flesh my spine my physical part my physical physical man like it's pretty amazing like there's a lot to this and I'll share it because I was a drug addict for 22 years and wasted so many different things like my brain my lungs my kidneys my liver my everything I just wasted away everything and Jesus like Jesus restored every organ in my body like I'm so serious my lungs I could even breathe I smoked I smoked an ounce of weed a week for twenty two years straight among all kinds of crack and everything else and Jesus restored me he restored me because see if God forgives my sin then he also removes the stain that sin left in my body it's so much more than what we've allowed it with you like I've seen so many scars cutters people that cut themselves I seen him disappear when they find out who they are because see those scars can't stay anymore because there's no longer you're not the one that put him there anymore you can think what you want maybe maybe you think I'm out of my mind I might probably be out of yours that's okay I'm doing I'm gonna believe the gospel no one's gonna start because God won't stop me God won't you could try but it's not gonna work I won't say anything I'll just be in love with Jesus and when you rebuke me and get mad at me I'll just cry out my heart for you and then when I get alone I'll just pour my heart out to God and thank him for who you are because he loves you I'm so serious you have no idea like well I've gone through a hammering it's so good because he just come out like sharper it's really good I'm having a moment right now he's loving me just hold on he's faithful oh no he's faithful I think that's part of me faithful untrue so it says that God's words he says that his word was sharp and active soul and spirit join for the marrow he says that he judges the thoughts and intents of my heart so for me what that means is God shines a spotlight in my heart on a constant basis constantly because I put myself on my knees before my father with the word believing that this is the answer I believe that out of everything the answers all lie in here it doesn't matter what it is every answer in the whole world in every situation at any time anywhere it lies in here because Jesus has become to us the wisdom of God's sanctification and redemption Jesus is the wisdom of God and I need his wisdom not mine because the wisdom of the world that I used to live by a sensual feeling oriented and demonic it's full of self seeking and envy and every evil thing is there every evil thing lives in the way that seems right to a man but the wisdom from above is peaceable gentle willing to yield full of good fruits without partiality and without hypocrisy that's the wisdom of God and that's the wisdom I need so when I was in the prayer room at Teen Challenge and I cried out to God I saw a scripture that says if you lack wisdom ask God and I went oh my god that's it I don't have any wisdom I am wisdom less I I really did 30 minutes Garlin remedy wisdom you have to help me that's it that's the missing link 22 years of addiction atheism anger hatred all of it all of a sudden it's summed up in just 30 seconds it's the first scripture that ever made sense my whole life it's the first thing I ever read in a book that made sense to me in my whole life for 34 years 34 years and if you lack wisdom ask God I'm wisdom this help me now shut the Bible I didn't read anymore that day I got up and I celebrated oh my god I don't have any clue and another clue I don't clue God I don't have a clue I'm wisdom list and I'm wearing around the prayer room by myself because I got up an hour earlier at a Teen Challenge and I would cry out to God I don't have a clue I don't have any idea got if I don't get this book I'll never change I have to change me help me I like wisdom God help me and it was like the Holy Spirit I didn't hear him say it but it was like he was saying yes finally and for 34 years he wooed me and it took gunshots because when I went home that day after praying with that guy I called my daughter told her daddy found gone she said what's he like I said I don't know but I met a guy that did mom came home and it was really bad and for the next five and a half months I lived as the biggest hypocrite on the planet five and a half months later go out one night I rip off this drug dealer he's in my car rip him off got a bunch of coke in my hand I told him to get out of the car put his hands on the hood he gets out of the car I hit the gas and fought on nine-millimeter and unloaded it at me from ten feet away and I heard a voice say I took those bullets for you are you ready to live for me yet I went out of town spun out of town I got out of there and I smoked two eight balls of cocaine that night even after that happened and every hit I took that voice killed my buzz all night long I couldn't get hot I'm not kidding that was scarier than anything I'm serious when you're an addict I couldn't get high the taste was there it was real from New York City for real I pull into my driveway I shined the flashlight on my car and there's not one bullet hole in my car from ten feet away and fear hit me oh my god oh my god and I went to the door she said yeah my life I left they went to Teen Challenge now I'm up there with nothing I lost everything lost my girl lost my daughter lost at all and that scripture opens up to me and it was like a whole new world right there everything's shifting everything yeah do you like that guy is crazy I am I'm in love with Jesus every day all day long nothing shuts it down nothing can shut it down oh gee sorry I'm going off in my heart right now I'm gonna get to my son in a minute okay that's it right okay so so my girlfriend comes out comes out of the house after I get home from Teen Challenge two months I left a few days later I had three nights where I had encounters with Jesus was crazy tells me go home restore friends and family gets my house I know that I can't live there and when I gets my house my daughter comes running out and she grabs me and I'm holding my daughter telling her how much I love her listen to me this is the first day of my life that I realized I was a dad she's already seven that years old I'm like because I have been given the spirit of adoption and I know my father and when I know my father it enables me to be a father and so I'm looking at my daughter and my daughter says to me daddy your eyes because that thing that I saw and Dan had hit me because my lamp was single and I was full of the love of Jesus and I held my daughter and told her how much and how sorry I was she said daddy for what what are you sorry for said for all the drugs that daddy did for all the times that mommy kept you off my couch she goes daddy you're home I have to tell her honey daddy can't stay here daddy can't live here daddy ruined everything I hurt mommy's so bad she goes daddy this is your home she's just holding me and I looked at my girlfriend's coming out of the house and I ruined her life and I said I'm so sorry for what I've done I know you are when you went away I gave my life to Jesus and I lost it I mean lost it is awesome love of God consuming me now love of God consumed her and it's crazy how can it be that you might King would die for me amazing love how could be she matching without me I'm singing on the bethel stage Jeremy can you come up and play can you come up and play little guitar behind I love that man Chris you weren't supposed to leave I'm gonna talk about my son sometimes we drink a lot of water right Debra I drink about three of those 40 ounce essentia bottles a day so uh yeah oh look mmm so good so that day when we decide that we're gonna get married and my heart is pounding I mean it's pounding and I I go and I go and I just I'm trying to figure out trying to discern why my heart's pounding and the reason why it is is because my house is full of pornography and junk and trash and drugs and all that stuff that I didn't even see before and I mean I knew it was in there before but I didn't know it was in there before like uh now I know it's in there and I gotta get it out I have this thing inside of me that's trembling my heart you got to get the house clean you got to get the house clean you got to get the house clean and I know why I'm crying because there's this stuff is in there and I said I gotta go inside and I gotta go in the house right now honey and I got to just clean some stuff out so she says okay so I said to Dan I said please watch my daughter and my girl I'm going inside I gotta take care of some things so I went through with a trash bag in my house this is the most amazing day of my life I realized I'm a father I realize I have a daughter I have a girl that we've been with for nine years that I threatened to kill for seven of those years and we decide we're getting married soon we set the date for four days later in between first and second service because no one was gonna come anyway because I mean it's not like I'm sending invitations out I ruined everybody's life I was a drug addict for years so I went in with a trash bag and I got all this stuff all the drugs again and I went to this place where I had all the pornography and that thing that used to rule my life it used to rule my life I used to think that that's what made me a man and that did not make me a man pornography doesn't make you a man that woman doesn't care about you nor does she know about you she's someone's daughter and I went through and I I'm scooping up up stuff from this thing ruled my life from 8 years old 8 years old I was addicted to porn for 8 years old that's horrible and then 34 years old 34 years my eyes are finally open and I'm throwing him in the bag I'm tossing it in and I get rid of all of it and I go in the back and I'm tossing stuff in my daughter's room on her top shelf I'm getting rid of my bones my bones my paraphernalia say no one could but God saw it all see God saw everything so I'm going through and I'm getting rid of everything in God my heart's beating and I'm like and all the way through and I wasn't getting rid of it because I might use it again I was getting rid of it because it has nothing to do with me nor me with it I'm so serious like you got to make a move ma'am you've got to make a move you can't just say I'm gonna quit you just sit there and let it sit in front of you it's not okay when you taste and see that the Lord is good when you taste and see who your father is that stuff becomes tastless in your life you will be sick of it you won't want to have your cake and eat it too sugar is not good for you anyway sugars from the devil it is ask David Hogan I love him so much I'm getting rid of all my stuff and I know the heavens eyes are on me like that's what it's about so I'm in love with God and his eyes are on me all the time he sees everything see that word that says he judges the thoughts and intents of your heart this is what I picture it ask that God he sits in the theater room of my soul we need a picture this there's a stream that goes 180 degrees it's everything that crosses your mind and God sits right in there if you let him he sits in there and he judges the thoughts and intents of your heart and what he does is he takes out the things that don't need to be there that's called pruning and clipping and trimming he's a gardener we're a branch Jesus is divine and anything that doesn't bear fruit if it doesn't bear enough fruit he Clips it and it's called the the chastisement but it's actually the discipline or the instruction of the Lord he likes to do that he's a father he does it in a fathering way he doesn't do it in a mean way he's not trying to beat you or hurt you he's trying to inspire you to be the best Jesus that he created you to be because he created you to be christ-like and he sees it all and the Holy Spirit he sits there and he's like that's gotta go people like one are ready to give that up yet no you're really already you're really already it's because living by massive conviction is everything and I went through the house and I gathered all the stuff in the trash bag and I took it down my back steps I took it out to the burn barrel no one was watching me but I knew that God's eyes were on me his holy fire his beautiful gaze was on me and and it was like I was doing a pleasing act for the father he was taking out the trash like really taking out the trash he wants us to have clean hearts he wants us to be clean he wants us to be pure in heart so that we can see God but we can also see God in people he wants us to point out the good things doesn't want us to point out the trash it doesn't take a genius to point out bad things he wants us to have his heart and his eyes in his mind in his ears he wants us to hear like he hears and see like he sees he wants us to speak like he speaks legalism won't fix it but relationship with and it's not just yeah you got relationship God yeah you say yeah I'm saying alright praise God what were you safe from and if you got safe from something what did you get safe - but does the light that you got saved to your look like the link that you got safe from because you're in the robonaut of it and God's called you to live and come out separate come out separate come and be separate separate yourself from the world that doesn't mean don't associate that just means that in your heart you have nothing to do with that you have the heart of Jesus in Jesus he ate with sinners why because what was in him would get on them so I'm not afraid of being around people that are dark I need the house light my needs to be single I need to see my creative value and see who my father is because he's profuse and amazing so I cook it and put in the burn barrel smashed it down put gasoline all on top of it and a little trail of gasoline and this thing went up that day that day this day it burned and when the flames came down I came over to the fire and I worship Jesus over my past and this is no joke it has never had a voice in my president I mean never ever and four days later we got married should get my wife as amazing and no one was happy except Jesus her mom cried at our wedding and said I can't believe she threw her life away with you I said that's okay mom don't you call me her stepdad said you're a liar and a loser and a blankety blank blank blank and blank blank blank at my wedding at the church I said I love him generally okay what does what they say about me have to do with what I think about them unless I don't know who I am lots of people get hurt by people in the church they get offended they get hurt they get wrecked and upset and they're going from church to church to church to try to find something you know you're not supposed to go to church to find love you're supposed to become loved and plug in somewhere you're not to go to church look if you've got a problem with somebody because they hurt you it's probably because they didn't know who they were but you being hurt by it means you didn't know who you were when it came so which is better if somebody hurts you it could be because they didn't know who they were maybe it was a leader maybe it was a pastor maybe with somebody that hurt you and you got offended by it offended by it you got hurt by somebody that probably didn't know who they were but just the fact that it hurt you means that you had no idea who you who you were when it came so strengthen yourself in the Lord so that you know who you are the next time it comes you can say Father forgive them they know not what they do don't say it to their face say it on your knees and pour your heart out to God you guys okay okay can you see that here can you zoom in on that faster faster this is Azariah ha I'm minister at a church down in West Virginia and the pastor called my wife one day and we have a 20 year old an 11 year old a 6 year old and now we have a 16 month old and and here's how it happened pastor called us called my wife I was actually on a trip and they said hey there's a little baby that's in a Mama's belly she's been shooting heroin for 20 years she came into the church she's six months pregnant might you guys want to would you guys want to adopt and my wife said yeah cuz a couple years earlier we were at the church and we saw this little two-year-old girl running around and they said she was a crack baby and my wife said if that would ever happen and we could do that I think that would be amazing so we made the decision back then that if it ever happened so now it's happening so I'm on a plane my wife because we're gonna hit the ground she goes do you want to do this I said absolutely 100 cents sure yes let's do it so this is high-risk adoption stuff because you know we got a baby that's born addicted to drugs so so we go we meet the mom now we're gonna meet the mom we have to talk to the mom see it's it's it's it's different when you adopt a baby from out of the country not that it's any less adoption it's amazing but you might never see the parents again so this case probably going to see the parents again and see my heart cares about the soul of this mama this mama needs to know who she is she needs to know what she's doing exactly and I don't want to talk her into adoption I want to speak her value and I'm gonna speak into her life to tell her who she is because there's a chance even those there there's CPS cases and all that stuff because she was shooting for six months of the baby's life matter of fact the town that we adopted out of four out of ten kids are born addicted to heroin in America they need to know who they are mom so we talked to her she said absolutely I'm positive so for the next three months we went and did everything that we needed to do and gosh it was so amazing so three months later our little baby was gonna be born and so we're in the hospital we're in the other room right over here and he's in the other room she's getting us a Syrian mom Father's Day oh and I've got the spirit of adoption on me my wife has a spirit of adoption on her and it is so powerful because we know who we are my kids have a spirit of adoption on them to you they knew who they are they knew who their daddy is that's where it's at this is where healthy is this is healthy healthy when miracles flow out of this place it's healthy because it's a Papa it's our daddy it's a good god and he created me just like you I can see your value now love God with everything I am and I can love you cuz I love me when I love me I could love you and that's how everything flows all the law and the prophets hang on these two you know that if you're mine if you love God with all your mind your hand can no longer tell you what to do was last time your hand told you I'm gonna steal something your mind said no you're not your hand did it anyway this is how you cut off your hand Wow so powerful so they they deliver that baby comes out comes into our room first little guy never ever seen the world before and they put him on mama and it was skin-to-skin you know how they do that moms think this boy J stink but it was like we gave birth to him I can't even explain it but except that it's the spirit of adoption that that we're all supposed to carry I actually do all carry I believe more Christians should adopt kids I do if you get the spirit of adoption you'll want to you you'll want to why because it's amazing to give life to a baby that might not have ever had it you can raise them up as warriors to destroy hell through them that's we're holding this baby and then the doctors come in and examine them and he's doing great and then 24 hours goes by and he starts manifesting addiction I hate it I hate it I hate it with a passion the devil is in charge of addiction and I hate it you are created to be addicted to Jesus as nothing else is the only thing that fits that you can't overdose on ever ever should never get enough and you're supposed to overflow it's out of your cup overflowing that you give you can't give stuff you're not overflowing on up or you'll be quickly empty so all of a sudden I've got a leaf I've got to go on a trip I have a scheduled trip and one of our speakers can't make it and so I'm gonna be doing extra sessions it's not a bummer it's a privilege to be able to pour into people but my wife and my daughter destiny she was gonna go to the trip with me destiny stayed back to be with mom and mom and destiny went into the rehab so when I get back there in the rehab of Azariah that's his name Azariah was a Ben that goes original name before the Babylonian king changed it I figured my son's gonna be in the fire you might as well manifest Jesus anyway so we go in there and he's on methadone you know what methadone is it makes all this go down watching the baby get drugs man I'm sitting there I'm talking to nurses hey I walk in the first day I'm coming home from my trip so excited I get to go into the rehab and I'm coming in there I got my gown on stuff scrub up whoever there hold my boy and I got three babies in my room Oh I'm possessive I'm not this is my favorite thing I've got little babies that have no idea that did nothing to deserve this nothing and it's not the moms fault but the nurses think it is because the nurses think this is this woman's second baby you think she'd have learned by now drug addiction isn't something you learn out of neither is religion religion isn't something you learn out of religion is something you get delivered from that's really good that's a good word so I'm I'm asking the moms how are you doing okay oh honey you're way more than okay and I'm sitting there telling them their value Jesus loves you they came to look at me I said no no you look at me right now oh I had such a field day I went to the nurse I said hey paddy she's nurse I said it's awesome to me I just want to tell you Jesus left well that's great huh thank you very much I've got to go I said I'll go with you she could no I got work to do you leave me alone I'm much better I'm serious and so I go down the hallway and I turned around I came back on my first day meeting her I'm gonna be there for a while so I go back in the room again I start talking to the mom it's in there mister second baby and she's damn feet up she's a shame she's totally guilty and she's living in a place of regret which is demonic strategy setup to get you to actually take your life cuz I live suicide of my whole life I wanted to end my life that was me but not anymore because I have life changed my life so I'm pouring identity into these girls God loves you so much you're amazing Oh paddy came back to the room I go hey you've got a problem in your right ankle she goes comes with the territory and she walked out I said oh no no no I said c'mere girl my pray for you I have work to do that's okay I walk with her help my handlers shoulder pray for her and then I walk back but camera can't find me sorry hey there's still fun so Patti so Patti walks away from me she she's freaked out she has another nurse come to the room her name's Amy and I started talking to her and how many is Amy hey can I tell you something she's yeah so they don't know who I am so I share my testimony with her she goes oh my god I've never heard nothing like that I said this is for every person in this in this rehab every mama that's in here so would not be amazed that would be amazing hey you got pain in the right side of your neck is it okay if I pray for you she I actually do and she's real like real blond hair real white skin so prayed for her to turn purple you know and she goes it actually feels better I thought ghosts they walk on through now I'm going over there preying on babies cuz they're trying you ever see a baby whose legs go 100 miles per hour because they're addicted to heroin and it won't stop can you pray for them so main it's so crazy so I'm going down praying for another one another one another one another one I see across the hallway you're not supposed to go in other people's rooms but maybe if grace gets me in there I'm going in there so I'll just go to the edge and say hey excuse me is it okay if I come pray for your baby no okay but let me let me just share my testimony with you what's the testimony well that's what God says he'll do again so I share my testimony with them they're like I don't care man whatever okay cool so I go inside I got permission I'd go lay hands on the baby I lay hands on another baby I lay hands on dad or mom they weep they cry Jesus wrecks their hearts so good hey I'm right across the hallway if you need me I'm here love you all I'm doing is sowing seed I am NOT just scattering I don't scatter I'm machine-gun I'm a Christian terrorist a brother I'm not kidding people say how you doing really good hey what's your name try it so pray for another baby freight and then we have to go home we go back and we have to come back in so the next morning we're coming up on the elevator and I meet these two guys that's this man and a woman I said hey how you doing he's like well I'm okay I said you guys are in the UH in the rehab right yeah yeah yeah okay hey look at me man you're amazing God loves you yeah he looks acid no I get down Hey look at me bro God loves you man you're amazing he looks up I see there we go and he looks down again see come on we get off the elevator walking down the hall because dude what's your problem I say it's not what's wrong what's what's been made right bro I've been made right with a living God you can have the same thing may he wouldn't want me oh you're wrong so amazing so that day he tells me that he has to walk back to his hotel him and his wife do so my wife and I we're going right by the hotel because they're in town they're staying in a hotel like a mile away snow will take you here's no I don't want to cause any cause any like problems it's not a problem dude it'd be a problem if you wouldn't let me take you all right man okay so we come out to the car and I said to him I said hey man listen howhow are you doing now you all right so we pray for your baby house and he's actually doing better than umbers are better minutes so crazy I looked at him I said man you got pain right here in your back on the right side right down below you're on the bottom of your ribs who's man I ain't getting in that car with you man I promise I say come on dude you gotta get in the car no man what I said why is it weird I love Jesus what if Jesus told me about your back who's that freaking man I said how about your wife her neck is killing her she came like raise your head up right she goes oh my god he goes oh my god I said that's who it is my god guys gotta let me do me a favor let me pray for you so I said there's only one way to find out if it was God or not house I said give me your hands so pray for him both of freak out both of them get healed they're like getting the car let's go they get in the car is so fun we're going and I'm just pouring my heart out telling them about how valuable they are Jesus how valuable they are how amazing they are what God thinks about them pulling out the gold and we get to the hotel pull Ralph gets out of the car looks at me and goes hey man huh he said you think Jesus do that for me man Oh Oh God yeah silly pray for me cos born-again him and his wife both gets saved it's like the ridiculous he goes I guess he goes I'll tell you what man I feel better than I ever felt man he was having problems sleeping so I had that word of knowledge he goes I said tonight's gonna be amazing right so next morning we pull in we were gonna pick him up but he told us that he was gonna get there another way so we we walked in we're in the room he walks by with a cup of coffee he goes dude I slept us I said what do you think of that he goes it's a miracle real loud so us may come down pray for my baby again okay all right so it goes down in the room he is so good I'm going down his room he has another lady in there she's kind of like a wild one I walked in there and I you know I'm not gonna talk to her up she can tell she's a little disgruntled it's demonic stuff so I walk in and when you walk in they get really disco hey how you doing hon and I shared my testimony you see that's crazy I said it is I said do you think I'm pray for your baby she goes and then the two right here let him pray for your baby he's praying for our son Horace's to a better please let him pray she goes I don't care whatever okay some of the nurses are in there some of them are double-oh-seven christians there there they are they are Secret Service but still they believe in God just what do they believe about God right so praying another one going down in another room another room another room I walk down there's a new couple across the hallway I walked up and the lady goes oh god I know who you are and she's addicted to heroin she goes oh look look at me God loves you girl God loves you it's not I can't believe you did this to you baby she doesn't know any better it's not something you learned out of it's something you get delivered from so I'm pouring my heart out telling her who she is I see yep I forget my boyfriend probably won't like it it's okay I like your boyfriend can I go in there she goes to the Tri I walked in there and this guy hates God or he just hates religion he hates what he believes about God so what can I said hey man I just want to tell you how much God loves yeah whatever yeah listen to me what I share my testimony that's crazy I said it is but I stand before you he goes just pray for my baby walks away exactly really so go and pray for baby so I Love You Man can I have a hug what's he gonna do you hooked this I walk out of the room gonna pray for another one weeks go by I'm doing this with all the babies all the parents we have this one meeting when we're sitting down at the end of all they have to teach us about a car seat like I didn't know what a car seat was but you got to learn about it cuz it's regulation so I'm saying here in the class there's a guy in this girl there we're talking and the guy goes the guy looks at me and he goes man he goes you're pretty happy man I said I am full of joy bro and the lady's teaching the class you know and she's a Christian she pauses I said it's just us tell us for I said I said Jesus loved her so he I eat religious I said me neither bro we got that in common I love you shook hands he's a weird weirdo so we're talking and I'm telling about Jesus tell him I got mad I want to hear this he says he's pretty upset it's okay my Wars not against people I said to him I said man it's amazing I said you got it all mixed up he's like what do you mean so well honest I'd like to pray for your wife right now you think I'd be okay cuz he told me that she's in here because the doctor because he gave her this and that the other thing she said chronic pain her whole life and the doctors don't know what it is and they gave her a medicine that had made the baby addicted so now he's mad at the doctor but really he just doesn't know who he is or he wouldn't be mad anymore so I said to her I said can I pray for you I said look I'm I said look you don't even believe Jesus exists you should let me pray for her it doesn't matter nothing will happen anyway right right nothing's gonna happen if we pray right I mean nothing's real it's not real I said will you let me entertain what you think is not real cuz I don't care what you do I said alright so prayed for BAM jesus healed his wife completely all of it she stood up for the first five time in her whole life pain-free she goes oh my god it's gone honey it's gone he's no it's not I said this is your wife you want her to be in pain he said no this is on your mind I said how about this I said eight years ago you had a car accident and I said you hurt yourself and your back is so messed up and you're mad at God because of it and this is front of the nurse and his wife is like oh my god he looks at me because have a blank do you know that imagine that he's angry and mad and God still wants to touch him like he's not even in forgiveness he's pretty bitter and he's pretty angry we think that a prerequisite is that he needs to be an unforgiving into forgiveness so you can be healed what if it's the goodness of God that leads people to repentance he just needs a good encounter with somebody that's not afraid because that person is not afraid because he's not gonna die he's just gonna go be with Jesus what's he gonna do punch me I'll take one for the team I'm really serious those that know me know this is real I mean that guy just pumps off all the time no you have no idea so I said to him I said hey here's the deal he should know what happened he says eight years ago I was in the car action I was driving the car we went over a hill too fast we were drinking we flipped the car and I killed my best friend I said you think God caused that he said well people say God's in control I said you're telling me you don't believe in God you just told me that you think he's in control which one is it he looks at me he goes well I don't really care what it is I said well you still have to try to figure out how I knew you were in an accident how your back was messed up it's why are you trying to figure it out that's right since you don't believe that your wife got here why don't you let me pray for you I said your one leg is so chapter your one hip is so messed up your leg is about an inch and a half shorter than the other and your hips are out of a line he goes yes so what I said here's the deal tough guy I said I want you to let me pray for you and what you don't believe is gonna happen right before your eyes I get his legs out there I've held I'm holding them I go come on man you're embarrassed right now because I don't really care I said here's the deal I want you to stir up as much unbelief as you can right now right now get yourself into unbelief as hard as you can you tell me when you're ready I promise man I'm not playing around with this I don't need him to agree with me God loves him way more than his attitude we bow way too much to silly stuff if we just kneel to Jesus we wouldn't be afraid of so the guy goes okay go ahead I said all right Jesus name hips be straight leg grow that thing came right out he goes what are you doing it's nothing his wife goes oh my god you're like just through oh my god oh my god he goes there is no God I said stand up he stood because what I said touch your toes I can't touch toes he goes I don't know what's going on right now he didn't give his life to Jesus and say I surrender all he didn't say whoa Todd I worship you silly he didn't say what's your name evangelist he did he said what the blank Joe sack I said the God that you don't believe in lives in me and he'd love to live in you and when you're ready he'll come in I said but God loves you so much despite your anger and despite your bitterness he touch you and the nurse has a thing on her face like this she'd just watch him everything she still has the rest of the class to teach it's time we raise up and not be fearless babies depend upon it so this nurse talking to me and this guy gets so rocked he's so overwhelmed he gives me a hug and he says Mina something happened I don't know what it is I said well your mind's trying to catch up but your heart took you there already man you know God is real he loves you healed your wife your wife's gonna be healed from this day forward she's not gonna be a pain in I said what are you gonna do with that so no man I'm gonna figure it out well when she wakes up paint freak gets out of bed it doesn't go Oh since you love her you would say I'm so glad you're better honey talk about how she got better so the next day literally I get called into the head nurse's office this is gonna be fun she calls me in she goes I need you to come in my office please mr. white okay yes ma'am I'd love to I come into the office and I know what's gonna happen right now she's really mad I sit down she goes let me tell you something I know yes ma'am she goes these women think you're Jesus and you're not I said you're right I'm not I never said I was Jesus oh well they think you are you're not I said you are exactly right I'm not Jesus there's only one Jesus she's I know that but they think you're jesus said you're not unless that you are exactly right I am NOT Jesus and she's she's giving it to me but she's not my war I love her but responding and trying to defend myself and protect myself and tell her she's wrong and I'm right doesn't make anything right it's not right it's righteousness being right with God it's not trying to look haughty in front of people she believes that these women think I said honey I'm not gonna share something with you so I shared my testimony and she goes well that's great I'm glad for you but you're still not Jesus see you as you know Satan can perform signs and I said let me ask you this I said if I'm praying for people in the name of Jesus is Satan is healing them we all ought to pack our bags pase in Jesus name be healed and Satan goes I think I'll heal them we're in trouble she's lat whatever I said come here not could we just pray together she goes okay we can do that sure not Jesus I said you're right so we're holding hands his father thank you in the name of Jesus gone she prays beautiful prayer actually she prays for me and it's beautiful I said father I thank you for this amazing mama the one that cares about all these women god I think you should support her heart and her soul into them lord I ask you in the name of Jesus bless her but favor upon her in grace God asked me for more grace for her job she has a lot to do in a lot of responsibilities father I thank you that while you're at it well you're doing this I thank you that you hear the left side of her neck right now in her trap in Jesus right now she falls away from me she goes who told you about my neck I said who did you tell she said nobody doesn't wanna know I said what's going on your neck shoes I don't know it's warm and I don't know what's going I said well is it gone she goes well it's a little there still I said I pray for you again she goes okay do you know that the Holy Spirit is a better evangelist and we are case it's called presents evangelism that his presence touch people so she gets completely healed she looks at me and she goes keep praying for these mamas this is alright you have a good day she goes gone so praying for babies day after day after day after day same stuff one woman comes running down the hallway she goes please please come to my room my baby stopped breathing I need you to come to my room right now please mr. white please please I said I'm absolutely on my way so I come out there's out a nurse that's not happy about me going into rooms she says you're not going into her room she's not even hearing the problem with the lady in her baby she said you are not going to their room I said walk and pray for her right out here in the hallway she goes you can pray out the hallway but you are not going in her room I said all right come on give us your hands we're gonna pray the be angry nurse Noto we held hands and we prayed for that baby in the hallway the nurse just held her hands and smile like she got her way cuz I didn't go into the room that lady went down to her room and that baby started breathing what a change just a couple of days later Azariah it's getting ready to get discharged it's one of the quickest babies to come out of rehab 23 days we watched him go to normal on his levels and stuff and we on the day that we took him out Patti that nurse the one that cuz every time they come into my room I pour Angie I have anything else I don't talk about football talk about baseball Christian is full time contact sport that's my sport I love it what I talk about we always got the ball we always win and score I'm cheering the team on GOG team go come on that's what I'm talking about come on attaboy so all the nurses you get blasted with Jesus so on my way out the head nurse the one that was angry she had told me the day before a couple days before she started a ministry to strippers in a nightclub the one that didn't want me to pray for anybody in a week later she's in nightclubs talking to stripper she has a shirt we love strippers you don't understand what happens people get possessed with the truth and we're like didn't see him he starts to run with Jesus so she says to me my daughter's at the front desk and she is really angry at me she has scoliosis she's been hurtin since she's a baby will you pray for her she's angry at God she doesn't talk to me about God that's the one that brought me in her office so what I said hey honey I said your mama just told me you got scoliosis she goes that cuz mom said the only reason she told me is because you're in payments just like to see she is well there's nothing anybody can do about it I said now honey I know these nurses have been talking to you about them being healed because lots of nurses got healed touched it crazy stuff happened I said bunch Nemec refuse she gets what you can if you want to I said I really want to so we prayed sure enough her scoliosis go straight she stood up and touched the floor sit up she was oh my god oh my god her mamas I said your mother can tell you all about what just happened she okay I really appreciate you mr. white what you've done here it was hugging her we walk out Patti walks in south of nurse that couldn't stand to talk to me the first day she walks us out to the car because she has to see us put the car seat in the car you know regulations they really do they have to see you belted in make sure it's secure she walks out to the car I put the car see did I turn around nurse Patty's like this if mr. white you you folks changed my life she goes I didn't leave there was no Jesus she said but you guys walked just like Jesus would walk she said you guys you you changed my mind I said patty us it will come back she goes no you gotta go now like you suck Terry help patty she got born again gave her life to Jesus so Pelican we mark the hospital we marked a hospital with reality of who God is the spirit of adoption is the reality of who Christ says you are it's the Spirit of God coming inside of you and inside of you he cries out Abba Father daddy God Oh hands on your heart say this Jesus do it in this heart do it in this heart place the spirit of adoption in my heart let me be infused with your spirit let me fellowship with you and commune with you every day let me know your love that surpasses my brain I want to know your love every day let that be my procedure everywhere I go in Jesus name

Channel: Todd White

Views: 57,005

Rating: 4.8073654 out of 5

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Id: -ueBgNM3YN8

Length: 123min 0sec (7380 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 16 2018