Tim Hawkins & John Crist

[Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] we've used a lot that's right earlier it seemed to work just fine I can't [Laughter] I don't hate you hey break it up I just moved to a new city and I haven't found a church yet to go to so I've been given my tithe money to this Christian organization which feeds the hungry [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] the other day I played frisbee golf or golf frisbee we're gonna be a calling in a 9-iron to the woods [Music] [Applause] we started just start a Christian dance studio or do we educate people on how to effectively dance better it's gonna be called blue like jazz hands [Music] where they love that is what that tweet did the kids workout yesterday and I'm really feeling it in my head shoulders knees and toes [Applause] [Music] I'm gonna start a Christian band and we're gonna write songs that encourage people to lose weight we're going to be called casting pounds single is gonna be called cake they can only imagine i'ma start a new Christian band we're gonna write songs encourage people to lose weight it's called casting pounds [Applause] I was a retweet I didn't realize that until it was too late and when I feel like people need to know that mission trip and fishing trip are two very different experiences [Laughter] [Applause] when my Christian friend Don loads music illegally - gives it away he doesn't call it piracy he calls it a burnt offering I'm gonna comedian but I'm also an adventurer and I just invented this toy truck that carries wide loads let's call it badonkadonk a talk [Applause] [Laughter] what you sinners you should know what badonkadonk for you I want my children to know three things in life that's to be kind to embrace failure and to never every 2 5 or 1 bars [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] a weird experience you know that I had this Chinese restaurant walked into the pledge the fire alarm went off everyone ran out ran three circles around the building [Applause] [Music] and you're explaining that to your partner trust me it's racist but it's funny [Music] whenever I want to be left alone I go to the mall and hold a clipboard [Applause] my roommates love to play video games are rated M for Mature I was like they make video is rated M for Mature doesn't exclude everybody that plays video [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] one of my best friend's is Buddhist - what they asked me Tim what does the sound of one hand clapping so I reached over inspect them across the face [Music] wonder how that conversation went with Joe when he was trying to convince his second wife to marry him [Applause] and Joe's wife died that was like I'll take everything leave [Laughter] [Music] boy won't you take my kids my stuff you didn't take my wife must be the devil [Applause] [Music] this morning I put on my glasses over my contacts by mistake I'm gonna go to the mirror so my grandfather he was a baby I just blew your mind [Applause] [Music] when I was growing up the rule in my youth group was my youth pastor I said if you don't have a job you can't have a girlfriends we told all the boys no job no girlfriend until one day I raised my hand I was like wait a second what if I got two jobs [Laughter] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Kristin Pearson

Views: 106,615

Rating: 4.9089084 out of 5

Keywords: Tim Hawkins, John Crist, comedy, laugh, humor

Id: iwS7CprGmRQ

Length: 11min 46sec (706 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 03 2020