This Kid ISN'T Going Places' (Teacher Stories r/AskReddit)

teachers of Reddit what's your most memorable oh boy that student definitely isn't going places moment I have a winner the class was an applied math course for high schoolers and we held a paper airplane design contest the rule was that you could use anything on the table to make your airplane and that the person who threw theirs the farthest down the hallway would win the table had all manner of things on it printer paper construction paper tape rulers compasses toothpicks duct tape paper clips masking tape a stapler and even Elmer's glue well the class went to work and for now designed some very interesting airplanes except for Tim Tim sat quietly and chatted with his friends until about thirty seconds were left to build then he went up to the table grabbed a few things and sat back down to wait when it came time to throw it turned out that his airplane was a piece of paper wrapped around the stapler while the lighter and more complex planes drifted to the side and landed early or hit the hallway walls Tim's plane slammed straight into the door on the other end of the hall with a satisfying clunk Tim's ridiculous creation beat everyone else out and won the contest easily while technically obeying the rules of the competition I hope that guy ends up working for NASA he waited until the last minute in order to not get told no and be not let any classmates copy his master plan this wasn't Tim's first trip round the block as a getting-to-know-you activity I asked students if you could be anyone in history who would you be and why one students answer Eleanor Roosevelt because I've always wanted to be black I think this one is my favorite asked my student seventh grade life science why he has F's in all of his classes and why he doesn't bother to care about it he proceeds to tell me with the most confident smile that he's making it into the NBA that kid is now LeBron James I assigned students to do a group presentation of a story from mythology at the end of the school year I told them they could choose Greek Roman Egyptian Norse or any other system they chose two students chose a story from Norse mythology about Thor they presented the story which included characters like Loki Captain America Iron Man etc completely seriously I spoke to them at the end of class and they had no clue that the Marvel Cinematic Universe was not a part of Norse mythology they should have said it was on American mythology blatant and obvious low-effort plagiarism like it's literally the first google result if you search topic example essay but they added their name in a different font in size which should make it obvious at a glance as if the use of capitalization and punctuation wasn't a dead give away that they didn't write it I had a student pull that last year while his even dumber buddy didn't even put his name in it in fact it wasn't even an essay it was a selection of question prompts basically to Kevin's in one class I also had a kid at the very end of the day continually flick around with his skateboard and became very hostile when I insisted on holding its until the last bell he ran out the door jumped on it and promptly fell and broke his jaw his parents then threatened to sue the school because he got hurt they're doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing yet I've seen that sort of plagiarism from university students and they were genuinely put off when their assignment wasn't accepted for some mysterious reason in the last few weeks before the AP exam I give my class is a series of practice tests written by College Board to take in class under a time constraints to give them practice one student let's call him Bill always tried to cheat in my class I had gotten sick of putting in the effort to catch him and it didn't matter because the entire point of the class was to prepare for the AP exam bill started off each test by staring at the page and answer in one or two questions then as always he asked to go to the bathroom during the test I let him go and he took his phone of course he returns and frantically bubbles in the rest of the test and turns it in early I have to hand it to him bill was great at memorizing letters for the answers of the practice tests but he failed the AP exam my mom has taught Special Education for the last 12 or 13 years so all of her students have been variously interesting one of the more notable stories was about a boy who would just not stop masturbate in class not being loud or disruptive about it just sitting there with his hand in his pocket jerking off through his pants full class every class he only ever stopped during lunch they banned him from wearing sweatpants and wouldn't let him go to the bathroom alone so he couldn't masturbate as easily he just switched from jerking off to talking about his penis he wasn't being abused or molested as far as anyone knew he just had a fixation don't know what ultimately happened to him kid in my middle school was spied ejaculating on a calculator during math class it was one of the shared calculators from the class set to not a personal one this isn't really the kids fault more the parents but my sister teaches in Hong Kong generally three four year olds and she had this one kid called Enzo if I remember right kept acting out completely ignoring my sister and her Tay when they spoke to him and doing badly in the classwork they're given he also didn't speak like at all tended to play by himself so my sister called in his parents and to discuss it voiced her concerns that there might be behavioral problems maybe something deeper seated his parents then confided in her that it's probably not that more that the kid didn't speak a lick of English or Cantonese that is the two languages used in the school and most of Hong Kong they were both relatively affluent Italians so they'd raised the kids speaking Italian and like that he spoke English fluently so he could get admitted into the school as it was a requirement that they have a basic understanding if I recall correctly my sister raised her concerns with the principal after she had the meeting and they responded to just moving the kid to another class she said she still sees him sitting alone during lunch breaks I really feel for the kid though he's only young and he's pretty much been alienated and won't learn properly because his parents are so dead set on shoving him into the most expensive school assuming he learned my mom was a substitute for 5th grade teachers she told me how this one kid had so many anger issues this kid would be sitting in his desk playing legis or something then Liao's of nowhere flipped the desk start punching the other kids while screaming at the top of his lungs he also wasn't a small kid and my mom isn't a big person so when my mom tried to calm him down he only got more angry and ripped a necklace off of her and tackled her to the floor which was when three other grown men pulled the kid or fought her she got to go home early and get paid for the necklace that was broken you think someone would find out that this kid was mentally handicapped before 5th grade it would be interesting to learn what kind of things actually made him tick in one of my health sex ed classes a girl in my class said she wasn't afraid of getting aids because if she got if she'd just give it to someone else and therefore and not have it yeah that was an interesting day once we realized she was serious pet class it was the ultimate test for if I really wanted to be a teacher or not in my final year of Teachers College 2nd grade there were the usual few troublemakers some suck ups some sad stories but mostly just average kids except those two those two made it heck class both boys boy one was hyperactive stubborn as heck violent to both students and teachers once punched my mentor teacher in the face while I was there breaking her glasses and just generally a handful both boys were given special schedules which meant they were on the iPods most of the day if you told boy 1 it was time to do work instead of playing on the iPad he lost it every time every single freaking time this happened about 510 times a day depending on how much we wanted to fight him boy 2 was almost worse no emotion no impulse control nothing just a blank slate of anger and venom he screamed he destroyed school property he forced the whole class to evacuate on two occasions he was no longer allowed on field trips because he would run away forcing the teacher to chase him he thought it was funny he did a lot of things he thought was funny and it never was I thank God he was never physically violent because he was such a huge kid and he would have seriously hurt someone it's not that these kids were going nowhere they were going to jail probably sooner rather than later I was subbing in a 3rd grade class and as a reward I was told I could drawled quiz card and ask a question to a student the student could earn points to be used in the class store by answering the question so I asked this very sweet little girl how many states of the US she could name worth one point each if she sat there thinking with a big smile on her face for about 15 seconds before emphatically stating Wednesday 3 3rd grade boys stole her answer book from me for their reading test which consisted of 18 multiple-choice questions and to essay questions they all ace the multiple choice questions but had the exact same answers on the essay questions student answers may vary well it did say May on the first day after going over the syllabus I had a little intro to college talk I would give first semester students I know how boring a syllabus is so I would touch some of the most important aspects of it like attendance and late work in a less formal discussion to help grab the students attention part of this was something along the lines of you are now in college and you are an adult I don't know your parents phone number and I will not call them if you miss a day or don't turn in your work you are now responsible for your own future right when I said that a few students would get up and leave never to be seen again I respect their audacity I work with three-year-olds one was crying and pointing at another kid so I asked what happened she mostly speaks Spanish it understands English so I started asking her are you hurt yes did she hit you yes did she kick you yes then the other child chimes in no you H I didn't kick her I just punched her in the face okay so I had a student in middle school that couldn't read that wasn't a huge deal kid had issues once he got angry at me and told me he was going to rip off my buttons it may have been literal or figurative didn't matter remember issues it was my job to teach him to read he should have already been in high school he was 14 and in middle school I worked individually with this kid every day finally I just asked him what he was going to do for a living if he couldn't read and wouldn't try he gave me a pretty standard answer I'll play basketball or sell drugs I should mention he was barely over 5 foot tall I worried about him he was my student for two years eventually he moved on and I switched to high school so 20 years later I get curious I remember most of my students in this kid had a name that stood out a bit I google his name hoping he won't be in prison a lot of my former students are I find him right away he's a professional basketball player for Ukraine retired now but still so good for him made himself proud unexpected happy ending one of the fellows in my university first year computer programming class stared at the wall at the same spot the whole class every class he'd walk in on time sit down open his folder and stare at the wall and didn't ever take a note that I saw at the end of the wall staring duration of the class he'd close his likely still blank folder get up and leave without a word I see him from time to time at the grocery store collecting up the cards I feel a little bad for whoever funded his education but I'm pleased that he has a steady job someone in my class genuinely believed that the Great Wall of China was in Berlin took everyone a couple minutes to realize she was being dead serious a guy in my class was asked by the German teacher what kind of music he listens to trying to make a good impression he said he liked classical music the teacher asked him to name his favorite composer he answered piano live it Vaughn piano I had my students write two truths and a lie so the class could get to know one another better one student writes I had four concussions I play hockey I have gold he said that the lies that he has gold I told her a phys ed teacher about it at lunch and she says what does he mean he has gold said well that was the lie well then he lied twice because he's had seven concussions no wonder he's so slow I mean he has had four concussions four is a subset of seven making both statements true he just can't go over seven without making it false if I have a million dollars saying I have a dollar is entirely true being a history teacher for three months and was teaching about the middle colonies and how it was the breadbasket of America the next day as a warm-up I asked what the breadbasket is she rose her hand and without her even skipping a beat starts going off about how I'm so damned because it's called the chicken basket where you get your tenders to sides and it also comes with bread but that isn't what it's called this poor girl has a lot more stories this one is the one that stands out to me the most I thought it was the great American melting pot my 8th grade physical science lab partner took the top off one of those oil burners poured the oil all over our desk and then lit it on fire like on purpose did you think it would be less flammable because it's on the table now hilariously even though I was the one who put the fire out and had nothing to do with lighting it I still got suspended to I guess a lesson I was supposed to learn was never help put out a fire the least intelligent member of my geography class stole my homework assignment from my bag and tried to hand it in as his own I told the teacher after class and she looked through the pile and said don't worry he didn't even attempt to remove my name from the paper he basically just handed my homework and for me and that's how he will never be caught even if accused the perfect crime a University freshman turned in a paper on the Treaty of Versailles that conformed to no known formatting system I had ever seen there didn't even seem to be paragraphs assuming that his computer had jumbled it up somehow when he turned it in I went to give it back to him in class one day so he could fix it but he informed me it was intentional the format meant the paper was to be read as a rap which he proceeded to do for me in the few minutes before class started it was incredible d-plus kindergarten teacher testing students on community helpers asks a student to name three community helpers child responds firefighter man now I really thought yes she's got theirs in the bag a hot dog and a monkey yeah um no bless your brain though as a firefighter I have several colleagues who I would gladly exchange for a trained monkey here's one from my mom the class eight at one of those medieval themed restaurants on a field trip and one little brat took advantage of the setting and the overflowing cleavage he referred to the waitress as his wench and demanded she butt to his bread also she would bend over to better reveal her bountiful bosom he ordered the turkey legs and wielded them theatrically like Henry the eighth's while thanking the waitress for giving him a bone when my mom got home she said he was a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen he ordered the turkey legs then wielded them theatrically like Henry the eighth's this is the only part of this story that I condone used to teach English in Japan had a 12 year old kid who would take off his socks and chew on his toenails in the middle of my lessons had a four year old kid who would run a top speed toward the wall throw himself into it stumble around going ouch for a few seconds then do it all again for an hour straight if we will let him had a seven-year-old who stripped off down to his underpants then skipped around the room singing the pockemon theme song for the whole class finally got him dressed again just as the lesson ended he looked up at me and said in complete seriousness sensei I did a good job kids man they're weird I work as a bouncer and on Saturday some girl was persistently trying to get into my bar but looked young and didn't have it with her after telling her no about 30 times and her complaining about everyone hating on her a guy walked in and told us he's one of her high school teachers in that she's 17 she took off awfully quick when he showed up and I can only imagine how things went in school today I had a middle-school student not even old enough to drive himself bring a dog to class in his coat pocket I think the parents had to come get it after third period it went potty same child also tried to save ice cream for after school in his locker he was not special ed either when I was in high school a girl who wasn't exactly known for academic excellence in my world history class gave a presentation on concentration camps it was going pretty smoothly until she was showing pictures of the chromakey area and said and this is where the prisoners made their bread for the day it was so stunningly awkward that my teacher had to make her stay after class for what I'm sure was the most painful conversation of his career I still think about that a lot had a high school senior girl who didn't know how to add fractions tell me that it was a waste of time this was a month before she had to take her SATs so she could apply to colleges side note her mother would come in talking about getting her into top-tier schools and how bright she was I deliver educational inductions on different topics to students and we asked them to fill out comments forms after one student under the heading what did you find least useful wrote the bit about the books then under why he put because of the frick reads anymore some kids are going far this is girl Pepe she only appears once in every 50,000 memes like in three seconds for good luck if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, teachers share, teacher, student, students react, school stories, high school, detention, middle school, parents

Id: cOHX_jvrND8

Length: 19min 12sec (1152 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 22 2019