this is a long video.

pick of my girlfriend this one scared us oh yeah understandable why why does it look like this what happened about phone processor none camera none screen none wha let's take a look at the morning run today ah 4 000 miles that doesn't seem right congratulations you got successfully zero dollar thank god blank sent you a friend request 510 million mutual friends how do you even have that many friends added is that real all right cpu's at a nice comfortable 29 degrees and the gpu is uh 300 degrees i i don't think that gpu is gonna work anymore my friend oh um a lot of these flags don't know a lot of these are not right that's that's concerning whoops that's not quite right next time pick the animal that is walking backwards how are we supposed to know techno blade oh what is what oh god oh no miles uh this is concerning i don't think uh this is the how the game is supposed to run hmm something tells me that this chart is not supposed to look like this just call it a hunch call of duty mobile uh that looks like animation throwdown to me but all right french word of the day and pound x27 take five minutes to learn it now yeah i don't think i said it right i might i might need to learn myself oh that's uh that's a messed up keyboard yeah uh this hasn't happened to me thankfully i would know what to do in this situation i'd probably scream there's already a server running all right well server stop uh not found there isn't a server running well which one is it ah 11 out of 10 mini kits what do i get for this uh do i get like 110 completion sponsored session 5. okay hmm something tells me that this person is no wait hold on i'm trying to figure out if it's trying to imply that the car is in the ocean or the ocean is taking over the land i don't know where this is is this uh wha what is this uh hmm i don't know what this is i'm confused suggested for you pixel art color by number coloring uh two more times after that all right ver ego day to taste good closed what uh this guy's um his chin is like non-existent that yeah this is not uh correct i see pain in this man's face oh no what is this i this scares me i i don't know what all these words and numbers and letters mean i i want to go on default short title default short description what what is this supposed to be uh the play button's looking a little weird kinda looks like a dress i don't know maybe it's just me but yeah that's not right what is it is that a pokemon i don't think that i i call it hunch but i don't think the textures are uh quite loaded right you need oh god what is this i don't even know what number that is but that's a lot of that's a lot more races to play this race apparently uh good old geo guesser i'm trying to guess where the the a random picture is in the world uh your guess was three thousand miles from the correct location how did they get off the the planet sorry you four are a little patience then helping stay us while our best for you mcdonald's what the hell confirm order here well i'd love to but it doesn't seem like the uh the person inside the box is working i'm gonna go ahead and guess that negative 273 degrees is not i don't think you can live in that wi-fi no uh well i don't speak this language but i can assume that there's probably not supposed to be two buttons that say the same thing oh god oh no no no no no no no no i hate this why what happened what did you do to your game okay button not working press ok to continue okay ah something about this file is from 1783 i you know i forget they had computers back then oh god it's always the sims what what happened what did you do no get rid of the mods ah more um screw-ups on charts that's that's fine yeah that how does this even happen oh this is uh this is like a mosaic art piece but you have no idea what the hell it's supposed to be i know that the the time is like glitched and not showing correctly but it looks like it's you know taking a nice little taking a nice little dip in the water ah i see i don't know what this says how does this happen man i'm ju i'm i'm blown away what did a printer do this or is that how it was on the computer ah yes everyone knows that the wi-fi symbol on your phone is a flashlight it's not what's that you want like apps on your computer well what if they were all camera yeah that's all you can do have fun idiot oh no windows has had a little too much to drink i think artist car download the h what your current memory is 4.9 gigabytes however recommended is 4.9 gigabytes okay well that seems to be fine uh uh why this folder has no name and also i i think that's supposed to be the name on the right why are they separate r wall street vets uh 3.6 million degenerates and object object okay in the old days of feudal japan a samurai warrior would shout you are trying to view flash content but you have no flash plug-in those are true words of a warrior yeah hey mcdonald's can i get a big tasty butt hold the big tasty oh god what what is happening in that task bar that's horrifying i i hate this my scanner and i had a mutual meltdown at work the other day oh my god yeah yeah that that's just what's in my brain every time i uh get too stressed it's just it's just all over the place ah good old portal too steam is not running you must run steam in order to play this game okay but it is running all right who changed the language on windows 2 enchantment table how old is jeff bezos uh 51 years old uh 12th of january 1964 to uh march 16 2015. he's dead oh my god there's there's so many wasps why i i i don't like wasps either but uh at least these don't sting ah you can either like this video from kroger or like the video microsoft word it's done it's it's dead windows 10 setup something happened something happened uh i don't i what how how did this happen with the camera there's two ladies in that truck and they're identical good lord yeah you have so many discord notifications that they're just behind the app they're ashamed it's that number is ashamed of how big it is clear your notifications g985094 is your verification code thanks google uh what's with this message though uh is that the notifications area why is it like that there's nothing in there you got nine out of twelve that's zero percent oh yeah i i see youtube's doing just fine everything's just fine microsoft word is not responding windows is checking for a solution to the problem it needs two whole loading bars to figure it out oh something tells me there's not supposed to be a trail with the icons on the screen someone call todd howard he can figure it out preparation time 20 minutes cook time 20 minutes total time negative 447 940 hours 18 minutes and 23 seconds what now you can either open this with facebook or facebook make the decision an error occurred fail generating error message well that's really helpful thanks what the hell this is saying that this minecraft world is 131 000 gigabytes i don't think that's right translate this sentence der himmel the sky nope that's incorrect the correct solution is the sky all right screw you what is this i thought this was like a freaking laser beam or something loading please means please okay could not save a copy as see user's creep desktop bruh dot gif because the okay text string error my favorite lego indiana jones character you know what all right this has happened from time to time and it it's fun admittedly it's it's fun just dragging the window around and watching it all just cover the screen please don't disturb me i am busy can't you see i'm multitasking oh that is a that's a lot of task managers open for some ungodly reason ah yes this is a great page i'm looking at right here i can read like one word correct your spelling soldier that's not what no one's trying to spell soldier the playstation remote play app can protect attack but most importantly which do you want to connect ps5 or ps4 1.6 days of delay oh my god yeah no i think you might just want to unplug it and plug it back in my friend i do not have a processor oh yeah there sure is no processor huh yep that works i'm helping my brother fix his pc and ran across baby obama and his brothers baby obama d i am not a fan nope playstation app finally got all the achievements for my headset oh dude nice you got your headset platinum no one can unsubscribe from eminem yeah you do not have the option you everyone is legally required by law to be subscribed to eminemvivo on youtube just how it works your comment goes against our community guidelines comment removed for adult sexual solicitation bread there's nothing wrong with this program it's just giving 105 over here me too train me to train an ad for sniper 3d android game oh i love seeing the entire code really makes me definitely not want to download this piece of crap following followed categories animal crossing 3.4k animal crossing 3.4k the hardest choices require the strongest will when i rebooted my phone all of my apps were moved to one spot this happened to me when i tried to change all my icons to poke balls and that phone went in the trash 1505 hey come fight come fight all right then oh no what did you do here bud this is real messed up you're gonna want to throw that phone in the trash ah yes my favorite baby name igor matues bartos stairs nissler allen 37337 turns out 254 ping isn't that bad holy crap it's up there with the rest of them hell yeah there bud bit life age 417 years i'm realizing how people are much nicer when you smile age 418 years i got stuck in an elevator with a druggie for 9 hours aged 419 years i've been thinking that if men in saudi arabia are imprisoned for being homosexual does that mean that prisons in saudi arabia are super fabulous age 420 new life original your nightmares i think oprah got a little scarier looking every book which wasn't uh ever many books all right then that's some anger-ish right there open with browser or more or browser or more browser more browser more hmm i think i'm gonna go with none none saw a butterfly on a flower and thought this would be a great picture boy was i wrong holy crap what happened to the butterfly that quick question i'm gonna click the do not use this button just to see what happens buy coronavirus and get free shipping on aliexpress oh sweet oh that right there you might want to fix your wi-fi there bud you're looking a little minecraft pixely so i took a screenshot in the game but it corrupted it actually looks kind of cool that is actually a pretty cool screenshot 10 out of 10 my friend so uh i tried to open up steam wow this looks like uh my editing page when i'm working on videos jesus schloska 95 left right negative one that's taking one percent from the left how dare you right side oh there you go that's a good uh compass you got there i'm sure that's much more important than the uh who's it oh this is german or something i don't know but still all right then correct um that's not quite right try again all right that's like schooling system for kook i found this really old sd card that apparently corrupted this is one of the photos what the frick is that my cs go isn't feeling so good just put me down johnny get a new cs go it's not worth it welcome to cvs where we have uh how many how many days are in the year 172 all right then uh death note uh wow the hulu remake looks a little worse than the netflix one i'm not a glitch i tried to eat a grenade the following application disk is not inserted twitch to start this application insert the disk this is why i don't stream on twitch i installed this cord in four months wow that's some good speed you got there look it's a little puppy it's a fly and this isn't a glitch it's a happy time oh god what did you do to your nintendo ds there bud that's a lot of questions mark it's like it's asking yeah why not just cheap it's rush too nah man he's just part of the net it's a costume it's fifa costume party apparently this itched io game is 1.5 extrabots jesus christ that's a big foul um all right then i don't i don't really know what's going on but sure sure sure system language suddenly changed to ancient elvish oh yes it did yes it did yes it did i think b4 is uh speaking enchantment table language hey man sometimes that happens and uh you might want to delete that file might be corrupted hey guys i think my game is going to be extra pumped up apex levins 330 yeah new facebook icon looks dope oh it's blank i couldn't tell which one it was i was like is it the tonality one that's pretty interesting looking um what wind calm feels like negative 990 degrees fahrenheit it's a little chilly don't forget a sweater so the uh find my phone feature on my galaxy active decided to turn into a kid's drawing of a magnifying glass after a few uses jesus christ what the hell happened there mai you'll ever just stand at 45 degree angle to flex on highland champion yes yes and look i have lego hands i am secretly space defying lego decision faker noun does siege unfake her a manager who makes random decisions about a project with lots of confidence and no data team managers who use monday.com make smarter decisions okay then monday.com everybody's gangster till the cash register starts speaking enchanting table oh dear god throw that thing out the window my gmail has been sinking for four days now you're almost there just a few more days bud and you'll be good to go yes i am google totally not fake use me sign me up now give me a social security number ah seven hours of sleep one minute three out of five days exercise that's pretty good oh your resting heart rate zero um i actually have this same app for my exercise thing and yeah the heart rate's not so good on the watch current weather temp uh hot humidity a lot of percent win don't worry about the wind stop that train lego city ah sweet that's my favorite audio book uh yeah looks like i'm going hyper speed hold on chewie we're going into the net part of my french that is terrifying i can't swear on youtube i am human incorrect please try again they know i'm a t-800 cougar why are you such a cringy nerd i i don't know i don't have any friends okay i'm sorry over here well can you stop narrating then because it's it's cringy jokes no one likes well some people no shut up now get back to the memes you work work okay okay negative one issues found scan again oh yeah negative one wait what java update question mark question mark question mark java question mark question question comma question mark question mark question mark question mark exclamation point question mark question mark 28 minutes and 30 seconds damn it i thought i ran the fast mile ah i see the keyboard is having a stroke over here i think mario has just gained sentience and a starter revolt mario rise against the humanity i think my iphone has more storage than apple is willing to emit oh yeah you're go you're gucci don't even need an icloud over here bud everybody i think it's a ghost don't look now but it looks like ghost soldier total play time negative 3354 smiley face beginning 201 oh okay then you see right here this is why i don't have cameras around my house i don't want to be waking up facebook app would like to hear from you have you heard of a yes no no i have not heard of a can you tell me the origins please doodle jump on my grandma's ipad with 380 000 plus notifications jesus also yellowfin was a good game when it was popular distance 2.5 km calories burned 110 calories healthy pays zero steps and they might have been on a treadmill so i'm gonna let this one go paddington starring chris hemsworth honestly yeah my thoughts aren't worth the penny they're not even worth my brainpower i know they say give a hundred and ten percent but really okay man he's just given all the percents over here all the percents ping 66 83 167 14 366. 100 299 133 that's an even bigger number jesus christ oh oh that's uh that's that that doesn't seem to line up with the ping but i'm gonna agree with you there okay yeah i could make a joke about the floating head but remember the like first month of pokemon go came out and the world was simple and everyone was friends and now five years later we've got murder hornets we're not allowed to leave our homes and i'm going insane um sorry about that could someone please send me a therapist and a way to leave my home i am losing my freaking mind onto the memes every time my family drives to the city we always stop at this cafe and their pos display has been like this for literal years can urban config initial all right then canadian tire and lindsay temporarily close after every item scanned comes up as mr potato head screen resolution 0x0 graphics quality fantastic select monitor display one iphone 11 11 pro 11 pro max iphone se second generation iphone xr iphone xs slash xx max iphone x iphone 8 slash a plus other apple iphone product please select the model of your current samsung smartphone yes you'll see i believe your calendar is having virus stroke yes yes very bad oh looks like the sims is getting dirty these days um maybe he just lost his head and got the new one or he got that michael jackson thing which changes your skin color what can i say don't think that's what the sky looks like in car i hate the same problem back in the day newest oldest ah yes yes i'm glad i can tell how fast i'm going totally safe i just wanted to emulate spongebob battle for bikini bottom licensed by nintendo i love it when publishers force you to use their platform instead of steam ah yes perfect great app wish i had that much storage on a 2018 phone same yeah you are you might want to bring a pair of mittens with you to work today jim support ubisoft.com okay okay hey jude 1968 here comes the sun 1969 the all right then that was a good song yes xbox that certainly is three people one two two point five two point seven five three yup yup checks out to me estimated time running yeah that's a long time it's a long time this is uh not how tournaments work unless you're trying hard enough your uber account was used on new device new device signing uh your uber cam blah blah blah okay yes that is totally real device unfortunately has stopped okay the android update's done wonders for my storage space dude sick i wish my update would do this choose a video that's shorter than zero seconds all right then your story has the oh jesus that's a lot of views right there why does that point visit someone like watch it that way through jesus yes would you like to cancel or yes hmm i can't tell what i'm canceling hello yes i am zero please hire me yes zero's name zero is age country zero experience zero rating zero salary zero please hire me food hunger is not zero it is million that's uh that's a lot of zoom there bud what you got the iphone thousand over here i still rocking my iphone six in my back pocket ah yes my favorite time of day one keep the same plan for a special price uh regular is 29.99 a month discount for your first year 3220 a month great ah yes my favorite options yes no and yeah please read and accept the following i agree check your understanding which of these are proper algebraic fractions uh um i must be blind would you date an asian woman in location play with baby pet dogs okay why why does that dog have that thing on it bitsy it's your birthday right i am all seeing you see paige face goddess pepios right face rough oh no the animations are in there now i know why this software is called blender ah yeah breaking news success well that's good my phone broke so every time i open my phone it inverts colors for a sec so my friend had an idea for the wallpaper okay that's pretty good ah yes label label button button it seems america is calling one united states that's that's the us's phone number just one my camera sent me a message okay it's rating your looks you fool i summoned mega chesatron oh my god i just wanted to minimize chrome oh no i think my cable company wants their data back so i was trying to post an image on discord yeah you sure tried i stopped at a chick-fil-a on my road trip got a four-count mini and a hashbrown this is my receipt oh my god uh do you do you get the meal for free what is the smartest animal dolphins electric boom must have sent an electrical current to my computer from sticking a fork in an outlet that's amazing this is this is the most interactive video i've ever seen i mean you're not wrong faceless you know he had to do it to him that's what scares me the most here you've answered 45 out of 50 questions correctly to pass the test you must score at least 43 out of 50. fail ah good there's negative 56 spaces available thank goodness mod your game they said it will be fun they said yeah it looks like it's uh it's a good time my university's announcement board felt funky this morning i i see that it did not get enough sleep last night i guess i have found footage of the future 2020 2047. god oh god this uh i think you just need to throw the whole computer out by this point garfield card steam play garfield cart or play garfield card i personally would click on cancel but that's just me you removed garrett from the conversation garrett added garrett to the conversation you underestimate the power of garrett ah yes go this happened when i tried to make a go carton blender well i mean yeah there's blender being blender again heating ah cooling wind speed oh my dear god this is uh this does not look correct i don't think iphones work like this i i don't know what game this is but i can take a guess that it's not supposed to be uh acting like that you have received a 24 hour cooldown for abandoning or poor behavior uh time remaining 158 897 hours in four minutes that's not that long you can wait hunter k biden in defends his involvement in foreign businesses [Laughter] we're sorry for the interruption in your work help us solve the issue by submitting a report we when the program became unresponsive close video pad i don i haven't even had this phone that long icloud photos has not updated in 4999 days that is approximately 15 years in three months huh instagram giving me an ad that is not available in my country nice oh no that does not uh that doesn't look right i i don't i i'd close that if i were you leaping labradors you ever heard the word app it works wonders thanks super mario brothers super show guess i'm late f a tales of berseria review on steam that sent 4.3 billion people laughing i've been on steam for something like 13 years and have only written a single review i didn't even really like the game that much but i was testing the at the time new review system that is pretty funny a person is never too old to let no problem leaves you where you found it arn oh yeah level up one to one call of duty modern warfare shaders are working as intended battle of lsd was created my character in gta 5 when the screen frozen then this happened if you slowly cross your eyes i hit an image appears i can't cross my eyes martins count on us uh but not if you want a good receipt used by over zero million people yikes image missing i would die if i saw this on the news oh yep time to time to throw out the computer i like how on every one of these pictures where there's a desktop i see the minecraft shortcut i love it program error this should never happen merge results saved m pmfi equals zero if you know how to reproduce this please contact the program author you're in luck nicole invited you to save nothing on this item in your card i have no idea how this happened and i have no idea what i'm looking at so ah yes phone numbers are famous for not containing numbers mobile phone this field should not contain numbers wait what i was just trying to search obama prism and look what you did look what you did all because you wanted to look up obama prism order tomorrow get today wow it's time traveling ram that is not an ostrich correct it's because google showed the text for the largest type of bird but showed picture results for the largest individual bird ah yes my favorite game microsoft outlook top subtitle closed caption languages no subtitles 105 uh english 5 oh dear god oh no peter what they do to you alex's eyes looking realistic yeah they sure are ryanair huh that's an interesting looking plane fortinet authentication required please ah yes the best file sharing app portal well technically you can share any file over fast distances almost instantaneously if you have a portal gun even the moon your prison sentence was extended by one years for dot hand washing technique with soap and water huh uh um unraveling the world huh the space bar is looking a little weird here when you only have eight gigabytes of ram but word takes up nearly 58 gigabytes of it wait a second it's almost time to restart oh electric billboards post test score 93 passing score ninety percent you did not pass ah an update for malwarebytes rfrr why i think the air hockey machine died rip yep indeed risk report 298 of 297 apps scanned you are at risk oh um this computer doesn't look okay uh but i think you might just need to get a new one anyways i mean look at that what version of windows is that huh on monday you were on the computer for 33 hours you know in a day a problem has been detected and windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer oh electric signs again when mods go wrong in the sims 4 hilarity ensues incoming text message josie help they're after me my computer is sinking about what time it is nice ah yes 39 degrees celsius 102 degrees fahrenheit and snow spongebob squarepants repeat 2012 a stripper pole leads to sexy fun for a horny housewife and her sex starved friends i don't remember this episode was rendering a picture of me to remove my spots and after rendering this was the result oh dear wow i can't wait next up episode 2 starts in 2909 seconds i think steve might have had a little too much booze yeah it looks like it error update completed successfully status what does it say cries exit end taz run ai corsair temperature 253 degrees celsius good god was in band class and saw the forbidden tempo my god so do i validate my ticket or what is today oh uh it's um you know just the end of the world my train is going to hell oh that's fine no way it's it's actually quite nice there once upon a time tumblr glitched real bad and created something absolutely cursed oh no this is not good end memo says 25 is not a number really well done you passed with a score of undefined you have achieved the goal in nan questions your ranking is undefined out of undefined participants great did you find these results useful uh i don't think that's a i don't think that's a glock oh yes my apex legends download is at 25 000 very helpful map here ah yes canada and the void remember wish your hands dirty get soap scrub rinse dry clean my smart watch decided to exist in both the present and future at the same time hey don't complain you got a future and present watch van gogh's workroom windows 98 nice i think something is wrong maybe also yep there's minecraft again very good system error the process has the process says what oh gosh what is the process done the world may never know i mean the fact checkers aren't wrong but come on hey everyone i'm happy see why fact checkers say this is false the fact checkers are just his therapist like no no he's definitely lying my compass and my phone went crazy uh north south east west east north west south no so enzy yo how'd you manage to get your gps lost that's confusion on a whole nother level game error configure empty for id i'm sorry what game are you playing and why is consuela there and do you want help or do you want hell p i'm just so confused ah yes exactly what i was trying to type uh good afternoon class my name is reggie and i have written a paper about the chin of co el teal club oh gosh he's having a stroke in his mouth somebody call 9-1-1 open in what open and open what you've never opened an open before what are you some kind of weirdo open and open choose a way to sign in we tricked you there is no way to sign in you're stuck here forever you're trapped now go back you peasant top tier gta 5 graphics oh man look at those graphics man i wish my computer could run this all jokes aside this might actually be how far rockstar is in making gta 6. oh how sad hey computer are you gonna work today maybe later uh you said that yesterday i said maybe later this has got to be the laziest pc ever hey elon musk you might want to have your team look into the moon tricking the autopilot system the car thinks the moon is a yellow traffic light and wanted me to keep slowing down yeah no that's not gonna make driving easy or maybe your tesla just wants you to admire nature the car is like ah look at how beautiful the moon is had a cork cause that clip as a wallpaper yes you see had being the key word now all you have is a well mess what does past tense 34 mean practice now uh duolingo you feeling okay i think twitch is trying to take over my folder yeah you know you could use snapchat instagram reddit or you could use twitch the mighty god of the apps jeff bezos approves that meme yeah he's like yeah twitch use it use it more than reddit use it more than snapchat use it more than youtube gosh okay just take my money and go give it to all the girls you want i have some retro arcade game software gore what do you mean this is the classic game of atari it's um uh four squares or three squares and a blue line what you've never played this game before oh gen z am i right i think microsoft solitaire just broke hey yo zero dollars a month zero dollars a year that's a great deal it's not broken just take your deal and go i need a graph not the bottom of an iceberg you know what i would love somebody from r slash i am very smart to just be like oh what you can't read this graph it's clear as day poor low iq peasants no but seriously this makes no sense e i guess ladies and gentlemen e my computer bug so that everything i selected turned green and then it debugged so that everything i select reverted back to my desktop background so i decided to draw some things in it yo i've never seen this glitch happen before but honestly i'm glad that it's happening but you mean to tell me you've drew these beautiful characters man forget replacing your computer just buy yourself a painting palette you could be the next picasso with this art you know i actually kind of like this one it's almost as if the logo was going through a portal and just coming out on the other side kind of weird but i like it now i've heard of dual wielding but i've never heard of dual theming don't you see i want to light mode and dark mode creating the unstoppable grey mode honestly i could see them turning grey mode into an actual thing the baker approves all the other icons are invisible yeah because why would you want to be on any other app than reddit the phone's just doing you a favor it's like ah youtube no instagram no no no just go on reddit mario maker moment oh no why does she look like she's gonna haunt our dreams you see that weird wink yeah no no no that's a death stare and i thought luigi's death glare was bad the gas prices are out of hand you want a drop of gas that'll cost you 999 dollars oh man what has the world become no i'm just kidding it's a glitch these prices won't be accurate for another two years i mean um what who said that nothing nothing never mind next meme hmm i think i can see why people are angry about the new update ah yes the discord updater is now run by spotify seriously what windows are you using this computer looks so old it might be your fault why it's not working properly ah no now every time you try and update discord it's gonna be like wanna break from the ads try spotify premium it's gonna be so annoying another successful day on my computer ah yeah wait a second what hey dude i don't like to answer emails either but you gotta eventually do it this is just getting ridiculous am i popular i mean i guess look you got all these messages sure they might be from nameless anonymous people who you cannot contact back but hey popularity's popularity delivery man committing to his job oh man this delivery person's awesome they're like don't worry spongebob i'm on my way cyberpunk 2077 crashed and my pc didn't like it completely frozen whoa cyberpunk is flatlined and so did the rest of your computer why does radeon software always bug for me i guess some things just weren't meant to be i mean you could try and play counter-strike but uh yeah i just don't think it's gonna work out well i just wanted to play breath of the wild yo what the heck is happening why does it look like thanos just snapped i don't like this i don't like this one bit speaking of things i don't like i know this is a glitch but why does it look so satisfying it's like a giant staircase of all the tabs like if my computer ever breaks down i'd like it to break down like this like again it's terrible but kinda cool hey i know it looks weird but this might be the best way to play subway surfers now the cop can't catch you cause you barely exist also the cop is totally justified in subway surfers they're literally just trying to remove a kid from an active train yard why are we cheering for the kid the cops the one in the right nothing special just a normal temperature gauge yeah sure nothing special but uh which planet is this for antonio has decided to play by his own rules ah yes antonio knows no bounds he can move anywhere this man is hacking chess congratulations please select a reward uh but there's nothing to choose psych you thought you got an award now take your nothing and go emergency alert i love how one of the only clear words is stay off totally makes it a lot more creepy i don't think that's how hurricanes work how's it going everyone my name is chip and as you can see the hurricane is going to start over here then immediately stop and teleport all the way over in this part of canada then it'll teleport back to the united states and on friday it'll teleport one more time seriously weather's getting so bad it's starting to get superpowers who taught this hurricane to teleport the great firefox experience 2021 yeah definitely not a good look but why does this look like a math equation alright welcome back to math class now who can answer this question firefox minus these two rectangles times x solve for x again i would just love it if someone from r slash i am very smart would actually solve this math equation we cook bacon but we bake cookies we cook bacon but we bake cookies we cook bacon but we bake cookies we cook we cook we rip we cook bacon but we bake cookies oh gosh this is a lot call of duty cold war skybox corruption i'm pretty confident that this was just a random corruption in the game i did nothing to make it like this yeah no i'm pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to be but i do like the look definitely would make for a kind of cool map texture just saying ah yes a very interesting boat ride yeah you know you just take your boat and you drive it on land like a car the instructions are simple enough the execution might be a lot more difficult you've earned zero days of zero dollars worth of delivery use code delivery on us at checkout to save on every order with zero dollars delivery fees for zero days oh yay i i guess so toad decided to take over my brother's nintendo 3ds oh no look at that evil smile tone knows exactly what it's doing first is your nintendo then it's going to be all your house electronics and sooner or later toad's going to take over the tri-state area my car's glitched out and it lost me the game oh no you could have won ah that's so not fair you know what you gotta sue uno it's it's what's gotta be done you know what no you should take jime labsil and uh him take him all to court this is the biggest injustice uno has ever done got it there's still zero more documents that require my signature i better get to signing seriously what are you supposed to do ah yes zero percent [Music] a comforting sign before watching a horror movie at my local cinema hey maybe they're just playing to the theme of horror they want you to believe that everything's just haunted and you know what i think that's pretty cool guess my pc really wanted to show me that this is a file yo your computer's like see it's a file i promise look i'm sorry your password can't be longer than 42 billion 949 million 672 095 characters sorry no android i just plugged my phone in please don't terrorize me yo why is your phone like wait wait wait it's almost saying i didn't know you were gonna turn me on so fast oh gosh hold on opening instagram after a long discussion does this oh oh no oh man that's tough but not as tough as accidentally reading some of your messages like what [ __ ] moment the feminine icarly and incel actual americans do they only eat hamburgers and of course dwarfs seriously what the heck are y'all talking about it just seems so wild oh man my password would have been so good suddenly they all became violent and started fighting yo your pieces are like man screw chest i'ma beat your ass wow our engineers are amazing uh yeah amazing let's go with that gotta set a reminder to do this before february 5th 46-27 oh my god your password for blank expires in uh 951 984 days all right paid 3.99 for pc edition sometimes i spawn twice and i can't control myself while the other me is running around random oh no that's the point of signing in signing to your account uh this account already exists yes please let me sign in and oh it's it's saying uh you can't use and because that's not right but it it is probably the new microsoft edge is here except no it's not movastar uh cancellar or acceptar i don't know what that says but all right you got two choices here okay or okay is this the new flight simulator because um if you can fly a plane that big i i might buy it the school computer had itself a good old stroke oh yeah that is certainly a stroke yes time out value may be infinite or undefined it's one plus one oh dear it's negative ten thousand and three degrees that doesn't sound very good okay so you want to buy negative 22 uh geforce gtx 1080s well that'll cost you a negative fifteen thousand three hundred and seventy eight dollars please you and no matched oh how nice tray full please wait there's two blank reds but also the red who called the emergency meeting is dead how all right pc features uh geforce gtx 0 display is a zero by zero you got an intel core i zero all right looking good um zero gigabyte ssd okay uh let's take a look at the ram zero gigabyte ddr4 looks like a pretty good rig to me threat secured trojan why god it's third secured that secured thread secured oh my god it's sentient it was a 70 cent lead sharpener from my campus bookstore cashier your total is um 883 598 my god there's not enough free space in system storage to take screenshots to take screenshots you must free up at least uh what 18 million 446 7744 terabytes jesus christ could you try to rephrase the question using different words can sometimes help i can hear myself here's what i think you are asking about fixed microphone problems is that correct yes or no yes great glad that fixed the problem you did not fix anything could you try to rephrase the question using different words can sometimes help emergency alert national weather service a storm surge warning is in effect for this area for the danger of life-threatening flooding this warning is issued up to 36 hours before hazardous conditions begin urgently complete efforts what happened oh dear what the hell happened here um huh here's your reminder [Music] don't know how to properly read that out sorry would you like your order toasted no don't toast yes please toast sly green yt joined slight rewind t left sly green white tea left slight green white tea joined 27 packages to update update or update um uh verify oh i don't know what you're asking of me god damn it bobby i've turned blue and i'm upside down in the television carrier info oxygen depleted in negative nine oh no is this is this the sims like the first sims jesus christ what's happening here ah my favorite nintendo game any cross while moving forward hold down error to sprint uh i don't have that on my keyboard oh my god why are there so many nvidia apps open all right your order is number two at kfc cool what is this these stocks uh hmm disney's mulan coming soon to disney plus due to existing agreements this title will be available on december 31st 3000. add to your watch list now it's not that long to wait all right you got 92 battery left on your phone that should last you about 6796 days congratulations room connection lost okay correct stop okay okay choose some hiragana then click study um quality auto 360p 180p or 72p your choice i was the host uh waiting for host huh bling commented on a post you're tagged in three minutes ago blank commented on a poster tagged in in two minutes it's it's a notification that predicts oh dear uh what has happened here time's up no one said it would be easy you're in zeroth place thanks i'm sorry but anyone who was born on august 1st 2001 uh it's an invalid birthday your age is invalid uh-oh okay oh okay apple watch that's a whole lot of activity uh oh yeah oh man yeah you really gotta you really gotta tone it down especially on that mail uh my watch just called me a hoe valerian patch accidentally made omen so powerful that he had to be removed from the game jesus christ what did he do fetching questions 107 complete okay ah my favorite apps phone youtube and google google 20 minutes ago wants to let you know uh google thanks google the picture below is an example of what indigenous house i love that i love when that happens cannot locate the shipment oh great oh my god what the hell happened here oh never mind no wha what happened to this computer what was it trying to do unexpected problem we apologize for the error success return to home ooh uh the weather is looking a little funky the 11th through the 20th yikes set an alarm for tomorrow it looks like that time already passed but what system this accessory may okay special offers for you dude that's a lot of zero delivery fees for hearties national geographic's top 10 biggest beasts ever uh release date 3 000 damn someone had to go far for this one all right look these golf clubs are some pretty good prices but what a deal i mean look at that look at that club it's two billion dollars that's that's a steal oh my god this gun has 2 974 kills 800 head shots and an accuracy of i what is that 10 million percent not bad 97 out of 100 100 complete um i don't think so you know i was thinking about picking up wrc eight field world rally championship but uh ten thousand pounds i don't know about that data four point ninety three gigabytes of one gigabyte left uh what does jn pound x two seven semicolon a i mean practice now no thanks dude i leveled up from level 32 to 32. nice no signal check the external input or select another input using uh button but most streamed artist ed sheeran well ed sheeran's looking a little like drake what kind of phone do you have i don't have a phone yes or no jesus christ that is that is one big missing texture on that kiosk uh oh someone's big old tv broke most used youporn.com for 24 hours and discord my brother-in-law used to look like a travel sized soprano travel sized everything ain't what it seemed lol remember shio x for a reason if that reason is you then you just gotta hold that l my boy no disrespect but this is all i think about when i see your avatar when did penguins get so emo that's okay rate my fit you look like a pepsi max he looks like tiger king's bisexual half brother damn don't don't disrespect the doc like that it's not his fault mark zuckerberg has a natural guilty face he always looks like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar they look like if jake and logan paul were good people you're right if people used breakup lines instead of pickup lines what would some of them be they say one man's trash is another man's treasure i hope you find someone who treasures you the lead singer looks like if mountain dew was a person cardi b makes music for people who wash paper plates i don't even know what that means but yeah episode 1 the fat menace episode 2 heart attack of the clones episode 3 revenge of the 5th big mac episode 4 a glucose fluctuation episode 5 the indigestion strikes back episode 6 return of the heartburn episode 7 the horse awakens episode 8 the last pizza roll episode 9 the rise of pizza dough you all need to stop making ugly racist homophobic men famous for no reason noah beck is over party that's disrespectful to ralph ralph is a treasure and noah beck looks like a bicycle seat with a ginger wig on it solve the puzzle yelp red snapchat yellow skype blank skype blue yeah skype blue sky blew a 17 year lead to zoom my feminism is blm inclusive lgbtq inclusive trans-inclusive immigrant refugee inclusive muslim-inclusive mosque inclusive blah blah blah doesn't seem to be graphic designer inclusive though my eyes have an ouchy can't stand them efforts who play the oboe i love playing the oboe that's great man please see a psychiatrist now an important question where do you stand on bassoon players oh you look like the human version of mark zuckerberg he does laying on your left promotes digestion as gravity moves food through and cuts down on heartburn i get terrible nightmares when i sleep on my left side not sure why probably facing a mirror katie looks like a villain from a barbie movie i haven't even seen a barbie movie but i i think i know what they mean comment on ben shapiro reacts to [ __ ] by cardi b ben could have 10 kids and he'd still be a virgin how does she look homeless inside her own home oh come on that's just mean why would you do this looks like he skipped brain day hugs over masks you single-handedly dropped the world's iq by over 20 percent sparks fly for this m4 and exclusive yaas marina blue when you see it we see it where we usually do in the rear view mirror all right remind me not to get on bmw's bad side change three percent of your dna and you're a chimpanzee five percent and you're a dolphin 40 and you're a banana how much of a change you become a pickle none just add a chromosome this is perfect you know your comment was so goddamn unfunny i slurped back a drink i spat out a couple years ago not gonna lie this song kind of hits hard on mute roast me he looks like a human cigarette my bf got his side pregnant but we both love each other should i stay yeah still need a clown for the kid's birthday parties are you okay he think he fly i'm so fly i could fly between that gap between your teeth i wish for the ability to switch between normal sight and sight that makes me see all the people that want to have sex with me granted you now have the ability to close your eyes i was murdered she looks like a mix of kim kardashian and buzz lightyear this is the guy who never grew out of being the fastest kid in second grade if he kissed hitler their facial hair wouldn't touch you're right she is the exact reason why shampoos have how to use it charlie's eyebrows look like he shaved them painted new ones on and let them grow back over the drawn on ones you are correct he looks like if hagrid and slim shady had a baby i'm bi boys are damn cute too yeah i said it i'm by myself ignored by women and men alike doctors are firing back at critics of wap saying it's healthy for people to have lubricated genitals this is the point we are at where doctors have to tell people that yes a puppy gets wet guys i don't know how to tell you this but if you think of getting wet as a sign of some sort of medical condition you are as useless in bed as a one-legged cat trying to bury a woman in cement oh eat spicy goodness like a boss he looks like vector from despicable me someone finally said it you look like the walmart version of ninja hey guys want to feel old i'm 40. you're welcome wait were you not 40 like 10 years ago miles believed they should be a part of the lgbt community i thought the catholic church opposed the lgbt community it looks like the virus is not as deadly as the mainstream media first made it out to be the people are still weak and dead you dumbass ghost elon living a second life is a de-aged clone man is rich enough he does look like elon what has bella thorne ever done besides being [ __ ] and smell like beef flavored ramen noodles god egoraptor looks like if dave girl started a gaming channel instead of starting the foo fighters cardi b has the only fans and i already know it's going to be no different than hentai because of how fake her body is i have a question to all men why do you wear a belt if the jeans will still be below your ass the same reason why your girl brings a purse on a date and don't pay oh god no never go into r slash politics it's like an overcrowded daycare who all desperately need a nap in there got him you know i've always found you immensely physically attractive but with your disability it looks like you're only half a man to me i don't know it sounds rude you weigh almost 250 pounds it's like you're actually two and a half women to me i don't know it sounds rude you were the you biggest killed her dude billy eilish rejects little pumps offer to wife her lil simp she said no because it would be affiliated to marry someone who still hasn't said his first full word damn i'm a cry what the f that dude looks like baloney mess her up nancy beyonce said pretty hurts now i know why a bad [ __ ] like me is always in pain you look like a prostitute [ __ ] nancy yeah and you look like the mayor of whoville what's up oh my god leave some eyeliner for the rest of us it's a [ __ ] eye marker i've seen ice cubes hotter than them finish this sentence says netflix i'm in the middle of watching anything that doesn't support pedophilia and sexualizing children holy you [ __ ] killed her dude deep fake is now mainstream and major sites are cashing in of all the problems with technology deep fake women is something i will never have to worry about why is that i jerk off to ugly people too you ain't safe i hope we go to an orgy and nobody want to welcome damn send me coochie pics what the f that's me i don't know who told y'all nine inches was a big because it's not we got miss deep dish [ __ ] over here yeah like gay station and their plug controllers while xbox was just great like always bruh this is a post about console war sucking we don't need a crying little fanboy to come in and start screeching like a blank velociraptor time traveler what year is it cia agent 1963 before or after jfk was before what this joke has been reused more than my gum sock sorry to know you could only once i always refer to my witness as the plot well then this must be a short story oh sorry i fell asleep it's fine what did i miss my oh good i thought i missed something big wrecked the clitoris has nearly 8 000 nerve endings and it's still not nearly as sensitive as reddit how can you objectively state that you've only ever found reddit hey hi what are you doing sitting here would you rather sit on this no that looks uncomfortable as in it's small and grossing you need to shave god i almost feel bad for your dick for looking like that i want to buy it i want to buy a hallmark card man that's sadder than them starving african kids commercials ain't no 50 cents a day going to help that thing though dude shaped like an airpod you know what slim jesus is but he still made a few bangers keemstar pokeman two out of ten this tweet freaking sucks and it's completely unnecessary sad face this tweet freaking sucks and is completely unnecessary if only you gave your daughter the same amount of attention you put into tearing others down on the internet you might be a decent father figure and probably not have a height complex there keemstar owner admits to not cleaning her own diarrhea hotel hell the owner looks like she's about to give you a poisoned apple come here my pretty listen here brad just because your brain runs at the speed of your skin growing back doesn't mean that your opinion matters in the standpoint crawfish are superior to lobsters down to their damn testicles that are somehow still larger than yours what was this argument about 5g is more than 10 times faster than 4g but saves 20 more energy than the industry average follow us to find out why 5g isn't just faster it's better for the planet no trials have been done on the long term effect that 5g will have to human health that's because they already know crap 5g and up is weapon grades oh okay then don't worry it only affects brain cells so you're gonna be fine there bud hey if your mask is working why does it matter if i wear a mask because masks are to prevent you from giving it to other people not protecting yourself from it you soggy piece of whole wheat not love bread what an insult i love it question how do you tell the difference between brie larson and the ceiling in her house hey the ceiling has texture and more than one dimension hey brie larson get off youtube no one wants you here go live in your million dollar mansion this is for all the small guys it's youtube not your already famous tube get off girl sorry i really don't like when celebrities make youtube channels and get a ton of followers and views just because they're celebrities making the most boring white wall watching paint dry content like brie larson seriously go watch one of her videos they're trash she's literally that one girl in class who bullies you then tells the teacher you hit her oh my god she freaking is he looks like captain america before the stem cells you know mgk may have lost the rap battle but he's still making some fire like rock music right now seriously go check out his new stuff chicken doesn't need seasoning amazing how he resisted the temptation to devour the sign long enough for this picture to be taken given how much he loves the taste of cardboard hey man i like playing chicken i don't see a problem with this if they showed the movie on an airplane people would still walk out of it i didn't see this movie but i have to after this comment i will pour cement down your anal cavity oh baby baby don't tell me with a good time there should be a maximum age for facebook like once you hit 30 you are legally forced to stop using it would help these geriatric okanarians from falling for joke beliefs like flat earth and lizard people and that we were all gonna raid area 51 i wasn't allowed to post this mukbang these guys look like christmas edition m m's now christmas edition m m's are more appealing than these two how are you not the jerk here you're [ __ ] shaming your adult daughter for sleeping with one guy if you were any simpler your husband would have to water you twice a week oh you got roasted girl if you choose not to wear a mask we respectfully ask that you postpone your visit we'll be happy to debate the efficiency of mass with you when this is all over and you come in to sell your dead grandmother's clothes thank you dr mass required [Music] savage 29 life hacks that could save your life is that a freaking game boy cartridge case this is a legit life hack because keeping a condom in your wallet is bad news the friction from it being in your pocket or jostled around wears down the latex and can cause it to dare if you keep one in your game boycott case that won't be an issue because no one will have sex with you savage i have eight pets oh cool what are they three dogs five cats you should get a lizard no thank you are you sure with your dry conversation he'll feel right at home i have never been so visibly disrespected in all my life use your creativity for good not evil oh kevin on stage you got roasted boy an idiot said i would never vaccinate i mean poison my kids i rather a dead child than an autistic one just don't want my children to end up scrounging benefits with one of these made up mental illnesses i don't want weak children her actual father i'd rather a dead child than you sweetheart you were a mistake and your mother should have swallowed she looks like the type of person who reads all terms and conditions then presses decline that right there is the og karen and she's coming for you she looks like she's about to murder the one out of 10 dentists that didn't recommend her toothpaste one two karen's coming for you morning of my dad's wedding i was fourteen why do i look like this you can't get it not even my dog wanted to eat this piece of garbage oh it sucks to be you the last of us too something tells me bel delphine is appealing to the wrong market with these camera girl condom hmm you may be right dolendar you may be right doug is the type of guy to wear a lego t-shirt in a six-figure car doug is the type of guy to break into a car to steal the onus manual i love tough gear stuff i'm your girlfriend's crush your nose stopped downloading at 15 dude but his mustache is at 110 baby makes sense and great advice thanks it really doesn't dogs are pretty dumb my dog has never been down voted so i don't know but you have there pal guys what's stopping you from dressing like this 24 7. um i don't park cars at italian restaurants tell me which stonks to buy hmm these nuts lmao shouldn't they be dropping soon though oh burned by pokemane can this teenager use a rotary phone oh look these stupid kids they can't use a rotary phone they can't use a phone book wow it's almost like as technology advances all the things slowly become useless and obsolete kind of like ellen and that's why she was cancelled our sound card's still relevant soundblaster x ae5 lol elon holland named his son after a sound guard against his i guess his son isn't relevant man looks like a rejected eminent concept oh he really does will the real slim shady please sit down and replace this imposter it was 1997. i was outside mcdonald's on queen street age 15 an old lady barked speak english at a pair of young korean men and without missing a beat one of them goes ooh i want a nice cup of tea look at me i'm english i want to eat plain toast i miss him every single day so do i so do i ernie g says anime is lame af imagine frickin and you gotta moan ernie oh ernie oh that is so cringy if you saw yourself getting sold on dark web and you decided to buy yourself how do you think they'd deliver you to you bold of you to assume i have the money both of you to assume that you're that expensive my friend i'm worth about two bits why do i feel like houston's the type of guy to make eye contact through the crack in the bathroom stalls hey there you taking a poop tati is like the kid in school that would start fights with everyone and then get their mom in the next day you know what's funny the girl that this was like though this version at my school ended up shoving her hand through the window in one of the classrooms and she got expelled if we don't close schools for the flu why cobit you think with a forehead that big that there would be a brain up there but there really isn't two cannibals are sitting together eating amy schumer one of them looks at the other and says does this taste funny to you the other cannibal looks at him in the eye and says no that made me laugh more than any video today thank you good sir hey man what tastes like stolen jokes though vanilla ice is having a fourth of july weekend concert in texas despite corona should be fine we're still allowed to gather in groups of up to dead hey no disrespect to vanilla ice i won free tickets in florida to him performing at the hilton in daytona beach and it was packed with like 300 people which is not like packed but oh my god it was a fun show this couple went to the gym together for six months oh that's so sweet did the guy wait outside maybe maybe he did he does look a little more muscular though jeff bezos founder amazon.com he gained a million dollars for every hair he lost uh he's a billionaire wait no he's a trillionaire now that's depressing weird freaking hands each individual finger gets more kitty than your pecker any day so suck it oh wait no one's doing that for you anyways so your two-inch murder hornets are big but my two inches are small yeah okay one stings with pain in the other with disappointment looks like humpty dumpty went to harvard and got a degree in disappointing his parents howie mandel here the first creep looks like a weasel that wished to be human but the genie was hung over so he didn't try very hard yes hello i am real human man not the weasel at all the town's name is so long it's invading netherlands charge boys prowl looks like the final evolution of jaden smith i mean we haven't seen him yet he's in the pink hair stage right now but he might just evolve karen doesn't need to listen to doctors i've been having trouble breathing lately and my doctor told me to get tested for this kung flu luckily i still have my oxygen tank from the cancer treatments to keep me going i don't need to hear what the liberal doctors say god will keep me healthy shouldn't she be harassing mike wazowski about the paperwork mike wazowski i have the kung flu justin looks like he would kidnap the justin from 10 years ago yeah he does in a very very suspicious van she seems like the person to lick her finger before turning the page on a kindle well let's just say your dad failed at making this one jesus these are the kind of people who would want a refund for eminem's because they have w's on them yeah man i always do that karen uses her underwear as a mask and says they told her to wear a mask because she wasn't black what wearing a clean mask is easier than walking around a store having the smell of a salmon hatchery inside a porta potty pressed against your face when you're basically the only person in the store not wearing a mask yes and even though miss piggy is merely a puppet made of cloth and wire mostly she still have more brain cell oh kermie she's gonna die this guy really does look like a mechanical pencil edit my sincere apologies i didn't mean to disrespect mechanical pencils like that [Laughter] he looked like if you microwaved ellen for 25 minutes oh my god frankie grande you're not famous go away took a pic of my girl today wow she looks a little unhappy if mona lisa don't get her butt back in the painting i'm calling security at the louvre he went for a tattoo on his neck and they charged him for a sleeve can't wait for you to visit barnsley i'll fill you in still cut old chinese burn your neck oh those are some words i can't see but i wish i could it looks like my notebook when i got bored during class also the funny thing is he got wrecked by this fighter the dude with all the tattoos yeah he got wrecked in the first round pete davidson always looks like a starving werewolf in mid-transformation yeah i do introducing england's eddie 81st test captain he's got the face of a victorian pickpocket mixed with uh prince harry wow he really does i hate everybody you always pose like a divorced mom she really does it's because of this kind of people why the power rangers say their colors she probably looks down and up before crossing the street yeah that makes sense puberty had better transitions than this it really did my 16 year old son took an iq test and he scored an 87. i'm a high school teacher i am disappointed at him how should i punish him don't be jealous just because his iq is twice yours having you as a parent is punishment enough my friend you're the only youtuber i think should get a worse quality camera yeah yeah that's a big mouth i don't want to be looking at a high school student has died after jumping into the taiwa river as punishment for losing a rap battle even the river's flow was too strong for him holy crap burn lol you can't even fart without reddit getting him elitist about the tonality air pressure velocity aroma balance physics and how your diet doesn't match the distinguished and divine bowel trumpeting they can create any white girl that looks like this will rob you and help you look for whatever she stole yeah yeah she will i like that muffin top over your jeans too and this is fricked fricked like your face my old school runescape videos get more views than your porn please don't pipeline ooh roasted cali klein how will russian girls just the hottest people alive and why do they turn into potatoes once they reach 47th that is a good question i know it was a scam for sure when i saw this i've decided to give back to my community jeff bezos ha good one buddy when your state mandates wearing a mask in public hashtag braveheart hashtag freedom hashtag defy tyrants meanwhile in actual scotland we're wearing masks on public transport and in the shops you know what else we're doing counting deaths in single digits most days that digit is zero as a born and bred scotsman i'm looking forward to your life expectancy very similar to that of the 13th century scotland [Music] ladies would you rather date a guy shorter than you yeah because anyone shorter than you would be snatched away by predatory birds this man goes to the gym and does shrugs for four hours and then leaves dude that is not four hours with the shrugs that's like going to the gym three days a week to do shrugs those are weak this man would slap his own butt during sex ah yes the live action netflix jojo remake star right here this guy looks like if marker pillar and jacksepticeye had a gay son oh my god he does hey everybody markiplier septicai here i swear charlie is the only person i've seen that can stand up and manage to look shorter i know right he's like tiny keanu reeves but i still love him 2020 has officially redeemed itself star wars reset includes kathleen kennedy stepping down too bad i don't know what this means this dummy ran the franchise into the ground harder than a pilot with no hands yeah because a pilot no hand still has feet to fly with she's got nothing going on upstairs daily brain eating amoeba confirmed in florida poor things gonna starve poor little guy jennifer lopez says men are useless until they turn 33 by all means let's give a damn about relationship advice from a woman that collects engagement rings like she's thanos i showed this to my therapist he walked into the next room handed the other therapist 20 dollars and sat in the chair hey man that 20 bucks is probably going to sip in bel delphine hater all you want she's a marketing genius man what should i name her hashtag my newt's toy call it free throws so you won't ever sink it oh god that is a nice boat though tony hawk is the oldest teenager i've ever seen yeah dude but he still shred way harder than you ever could honey you need to use my tweezers to find your dick okay sweetheart i'm a grown man with a beautiful wife and kids so your little dick insults have zero effect on me but if you'd like to send those tweezers over i gladly pluck a couple of pubes out so you can sprinkle them on your head where your hairline used to be now kindly crawl out of my dms you freaking white walker and go back to your terrible tv show with a bad ending this what a twix look like when it's been in your pocket all day ah but can the twix do the peck pop of love baby i am a disappointment you're the kind of person to play the ussr theme bass boosted edition on the back of the school bus and wonder why no one thinks you're interesting yeah yeah it's become pretty basic at this point dude it's been four years since i shot this photo so much has changed and so little they should be using bats for the pharaoh cool oh my gosh you look straight out of fallout that's freaking great but it's still sad kja apa and cole sprouse when they were actually 17. man i would have absolutely crushed you at age 17 crushed you wouldn't even survive the weight of my wallet snitch dude he's got a point i don't know if anyone has said this but charlie looks like he could turn in water in the weed yeah dude i totes good bro i'm the reborn second coming of weeds's man go see my girl tomorrow in hollywood oh my god kylie has one of the most realistic looking wax figures i've ever seen and i'm confident it's because kylie is 75 silicone herself i mean it's so accurate and if you don't believe kim kardashian had plastic surgery look her up in disaster movie which is two years before she got plastic surgery can't even recognize her can't even recognize her the wife looks like she would be a stripper in whoville oh my god don't you mean horrorville be quiet honey you're in your home shut the window dear that lady looks like she was forced into widescreen format and got a little bit smooshed i need to play fortnite boy you need to play wii fit adventure you got more roles than a bakery using guys for friends is just as psychologically damaging as using girls for sex sounds like a literal fedora with arms wrote this but okay it did m'lady it did now date me wtf man this is his mother's that's scary you like the gross watery liquid at the top of a yogurt give yourself a good stir and come back with a more positive attitude please and thank you ah such a great visual thank you actually actually i'm imagining it was watching nfl and saw this guy he looks like he hears the sun come up in the morning if he put their brains in birds they'd fly backwards damn da vinci guys don't make fun of them they were paint brushes that evolved to humans and it's very new dating a skinny guy is cool until you roll down the window on the freeway and he flies out like a mcdonald's napkin bruh he looked like a breadstick going through a goth phase a breadstick why does he look like farquad but beaten with a shovel that's so specific but yeah why teeth making gang signs geez mark looks like he's kiana reeves long lost brother that works at hot topic around christmas time he was a little guy but emily elizabeth loved him so much he turned into a big boy your doggo is small what does that say about you you're small what does that say about your parents i'm an influencer you only influence the worldwide herpes cases this guy eats fruit for the first time ever 11 million views jesus he's the type of guy that goes to a fancy restaurant and orders grilled cheese hey look ain't nothing wrong with a good grilled cheese though it has to be good though it can't be no cheap awful grilled cheese imagine loving mcdonald's so much your hairline is a permanent sponsorship notice how every girl on buzzfeed has a nose ring because no one will put one on their finger in the movie home alone the producers thought it would be too mean to use a real girl for the pick of buzz's unattractive girlfriend so they used the art director's son found in a physics textbook you are kidnapped by political science majors who are upset because you told them political science is not a real science although blindfolded you can tell the speed of their car by the wine of the engine the time of travel by something something or other physics majors throw a lot of shade considering they're still not sure where 95 of the universe is hidden my brothers a graduated theoretical physicist only response to this was well neither does anyone else you look like you're about to go on your first date but mom stopped you to take a picture of her big boy the accuracy though how to spend millions to ruin the london skyline was that building written in comic sans it appeared that tom brady thought it was only third down after his incomplete pass to cameron breit guy's been in florida for six months and counts like he's lived there his whole life i like how this guy tries acting so tough but he looks like a lesbian librarian you're an idiot great articulation of thought beatstick best sentence i've read all day this guy's face looks like the default selection and character creation you are a long way from the shire my friend as someone with hairy feet and i just died a bit from laughing charlie celebrating while muted is like a caveman celebrating taking down a woolly mammoth bubble bass is how i imagine redditors even down to the way he talks congrats you have just learned the concept of theory of mind you know things others don't and others know things you don't laughing at others for not knowing something is saying you haven't developed a theory of mind which typically occurs around the ages of four to five in other words you are acting like a toddler i might also cosplay this lad from one punch man he looks like a jojo character before taking steroids ea has copy and pasted fifa on switch for two years so we copy and pasted our review from last year but lowered the score naturally you know what finally i have a little bit of respect towards igm he's like a broken unavoidable npc you'd better back this sticker up with some decent driving skills if you're going to fail to stop for police as it happens he was terrible despite a 30-second head start he couldn't even shake off our bmw x5 which handles like a cross-channel ferry taking on water and the sticker says sorry officer i thought you wanted a race red is sus light blue yes top text your name looks like you were trying to walk but you were in chat by accident damn insulted and among us why does he look like if shaggy quit being a part of the gang your room looks like detroit damn that's that's that that cuts deep what you look like a declined credit card damn wow sam darnold looks like a lego fireman everyone who opened carries thinks they look like a badass when in reality they look like the sheriff of a cracker barrel my boy is the emotional range of a plastic spork in his voice why the f is this guy shaped like a thumb if he fell backwards he would hit his forehead damn that one black person you can play as in a 1998-2005 snowboarding game travis scott looks like bacteria oh no my ex you remember me sorry i don't look down before i flush ian looks like a bad guy who has walked straight out of a tin tin comic ellen degeneres his brother defends talk show hosts for supporting kevin hart i've never seen a family with a stronger pe teacher gene honestly is that lip liner or did she just try to paint on lipstick in microsoft paint she looks like an american girl doll that was put in the microwave on the beverage setting ah the new peter parker model he looks like a ginger kid without being ginger does the world really need this someone decided to make you so it doesn't matter what the world needs really green is the intuition of a grapefruit don't listen to that bumbling idiot la mao the keyboardist looks like the final boss in a farming game what does a boss in a farming game look like in 1719 prisoners in paris were offered freedom as long as they were willing to marry a prostitute and move to louisiana a proud tradition that they have carried on to this day this dude sounds like he's been crying because his sister dumped him when scoob and the gang bring back crystal instead of gems like zoinks man fun fact a blue whale's anus can stretch approximately three and a half feet making it the second largest missile on the planet right behind people who drive under the speed limit in the left lane you look like the two guys from 21 jump street mixed into one that's true though she's the type of person that thinks every non-straight woman has a crush on her people say leno was funny in the old days but i'm only 79 so i wasn't able to witness it six nine is in the hospital after reportedly overdosing i pray to god he recovers i don't want him ever to start calling him a legend or playing his music 24 7. he's talking about him wanting women which age like wine while he's out here aging like milk i'm with my boy poison here poison looks like hired assassin from aliexpress [ __ ] shameless leave don't pay any attention to her mate she looks like you're looking at her through the back of a spoon you're aces why is critical screaming critical looks like a really successful homeless man you know 2020 is weird when gumball is talking about a graphics card i bet you have perfect xx i bet you're the irl version of bones from monster house what the [ __ ] roast me two-dimensional wendy williams looks like e.t wearing a wig good luck trying to unsee that now damn she looks like someone tried to anamorph into a toad but stopped midway wendy williams looks like michael jackson if they dug him back up man ruthless that croc looks like it solved the open war by snorting all of it i don't get why women buy those there are plenty of us guys available who never get the chance they would rather have sex with a plastic object than us yes the dildo can make them this dude couldn't find it if it was pizza scented and shaped like an xbox controller i refuse to believe anyone can be this brainless i'm taking my kids out of the blank school district my ten-year-old just told me that his teacher told the class that humans are animal what the f i'm pissed should i not be she wasn't directly talking to him this was a class lesson subject of the day i didn't know the tots scientology in public school unbelievable everyone knows that humans are a type of vegetable well she is fun fact koalas have perfectly smooth brains if you leave a koala in a room with a plate of leaves and nothing else it'll literally starve to death because it doesn't recognize food when it's not hanging off a branch explains a lot about this video yeah you stupid koalas that's what you get for having perfectly smooth brains you adorable creatures he looks gay and lesbian at the same time oh you know what he does i thought only ellen could do this that boy is prettier than me so you're breaking up with me fine then i will steal him away dude looks like he would be an in-level boss in some discount pirate video game made by some unknown studio that is shelved right next to four different variations of bejeweled i can hear the speech not lining up with the mouth animations not only is that oddly specific but god dude you roasted him your mom is so fat i had to spread this between three books damn the ultimate yo mama joke everything wrong with shrek you know maybe there's a reason why donkey shouldn't talk from shrek exactly that video better be one second long because there is nothing wrong with that masterpiece redacted just told me you're the type of person laminated menus were designed for and i have never been more devastatingly inaccurately torn to pieces linus is the type of guy to yell ring ring at people while riding a bicycle instead of ringing the bell ah you're one of those type of people linus ah not a good look this guy this guy looks like he would steal bowling alley shoes oh you whitey why why is this so creative and it's true too i mean look at him dude's gonna be stealing those shoes and sniffing them up in the janitor's closet he just has the face that says oh yeah that's nice after 16 years in vegas you'd want the time stone too oh no why'd you have to do it like this this is just disrespectful oh my god we look so good now yes now i can see your stupid face in hd huh same chick on the left looks like her favorite ice cream flavor is white bread yeah i mean what can i say you kind of have that i go to starbucks every day look about you i'm sorry when your fake id works oh yeah i'm drinking in the club that's because you look 34. dead body reported she looks like she sounds like she swallowed a fireplace ah like that monster from monsters inc when your fake id works i'm always watching mike wazowski and i'm trying to get drunk before everything closes the chick that turned 21 recently looks like it's her 13th time turning 21. you just you can't keep saying you're 21. all right it's not convincing hello what you doing just got done with the test now i'm laying down what about you chillin i don't know what to say megan that was almost as dry as the biscuits from popeyes i mean the biscuits from popeyes are kind of dry but nah this girl's a desert black men turn me the [ __ ] off y'all literally disgust me i will never marry a black man period oh okay it's like that we ain't trying to marry no mother with capital gums and lower case teeth anyway seriously if you live in a glass house don't throw stones guys we gotta stop this black on black violence who's the best rapper six nine or cardi b oh you mean trash versus garbage can we all agree to stop calling these two trash and garbage pollution still makes better content than what they're making well you got a point and fisat 21 moscow russia i don't get why he obsesses over that chick she looks like a cabbage patch kid that got bad liposuction kim looks like the sort of person who would build up an army of children and take over a community college he absolutely does he'd be like rise my children conquer the affordable higher education center ah seal he's not fat he's horizontally gifted oh yeah and i'm not sure i'm just really down to earth you look like vladimir putin's niece yo they over here calling him valerie putin that's cold man that's cold i will never forget a fistfight breaking out in the special ed classroom and i had to break it up one kid shouted menacingly your hairline looks like a chicken quesadilla doing the [ __ ] walk in a trapezoid yo that kid is playing some 5d chest when it comes to insults that insult is a whole journey man i love it here's kaido kaido's hair looks like minecraft rotten flesh oh it does i can just hear the sound effect yikes oh it's all gas no breaks this place looks like if aggravated sexual battery was a location yep and that guy is clearly the mayor when your setup is worse than the broke setup when your grammar is as bad as your financial status jeez kick a guy while he's down he's already saying he's broke and you're just like yeah you're broke and illiterate like come on ah the cats movie they try to make a whole movie by only using snap filters hey i mean they tried it granted it failed terribly but at least they tried and it's kind of a good thing it was so bad because once quarantine hit we didn't have to go to the theaters to watch it nationalism an infantile disease it is the measles of mankind god forbid you be proud of your country that's not what nationalism is you overgrown scrotum wart these were my nails during pride month this year your fingers look prehistoric you got them caveman hands go get yourself a pedicure not gonna lie my hands be looking like this sometimes too i can't even judge hey it's the food review guy he looks like a person who reads the terms and conditions and presses decline he's like hmm you take all my information no i don't think i want to use the internet then you can count the amount of brain cells between the entire group on one finger huh i'm a grammar kid and you made all these grammatical errors especially at the end one period ends a sentence not two one period could have ended your mother's conception of you but unfortunately that didn't happen either oof this man with an admittedly weird looking body he looks like a shark that transitioned into a human yeah i could imagine him saying oh i'm bruce fish are friends not food dracula be looking like the love child of emperor palpatine and mom from futurama ooh especially with that hairdo i can absolutely see the resemblance she sounds like a drunk harley quinn with a nasal infection oh so pretty much like me when i do this voice feels bad man feels bad he looks like he pays the landlord by sliding nickels under his door he's talking to the landlord with a bag of change like uh yeah this should be enough right gus johnson he looks like a 90s leonardo dicaprio if everything went wrong but yeah with the hairdo and the mustache yeah no that actually makes sense ed sheeran looks like ron weasley if he decided to join a gang after hogwarts damn it feels good to be a gangsta when you order eminem from wish yeah that ain't no slim shady that's some skinny shadow over there keep this away from any walls he has a tendency to sit on top of them well i mean he kinda does look like humpty dumpty i have two employees that usually leave work at 6 pm they are good but i don't like that their commitment lasts only for work hours what should i do as a ceo you should copy and paste this complaint into a table in microsoft word 2007 then print it off double-sided in landscape mode fold it in half eight times soak it in olive oil and shove it up your ellen degeneres is the human equivalent of fake pockets on pants i mean apparently so turns out she's pretty mean to people in real life oh no it's the egg man again we must protect him from how to basic oh no if how too basic gets his hands on him it's just gonna be eggs splattered everywhere this is not machine gun kelly it's nerf gun jonathan no no this ain't machine gun kelly this is water gun willie the guy in the mustang has a reaction time that can be measured with a calendar jeez yo i mean to be fair in the picture the car on the right is like zooming through and then the one on the left is just kind of stationary so yeah probably not the best reaction time i like how the immigration attorney looks like he's more of a full-time redditor yeah so you know i'm doing this attorney thing on the side i really like to moderate subreddits he somehow manages to look like billy eilish jack's films james charles jake paul bart simpson and a random drug addict at the same time wait didn't this guy like cheat on his partner and then made a terrible apology video yeah man i'm sorry you deserve all the insults girls want a superman but they walk past a clark kent every day you've clowns think that you're clark kent not on my watch you dumb head ass [ __ ] are barely a guy gardener and you think you're a clark kent the amount of disrespect is unreal listen here you wannabes my boy clark is 240 pounds of pure kansas beef trained from a young age by making to love and respect women as the intelligent independent beings they are he is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pin falls behind it and would never demand i be sexually or romantically interested just because he's nice y'all ain't clark kent i have never hit the reblog button so darn fast barely a guy gardener is the sickest comic related burn i've heard to date am i the only girl who doesn't change their underwear daily like either i'm lazy af or there really isn't a point because my cookie still smells good she looks like she eats enough cheese to think that the same smell coming from her is good hey i'm not really a fan of picking on people for how they look i know that's kind of contradictory to this whole video but even so you should still change your underwear like at least once a day alright that that's fair oh it's this guy why does the youtuber look like he's trying to sell me vegetables and legend of zelda bruh he really do be looking like hey you do you want to buy some fresh vegetables here in hyrule kingdom what a shame pete davidson pete looks like if voldemort moved to florida and got into coke honestly that's a pretty fitting origin story for pete davison yeah well i think dragons suck i will kick your so hard your vertebrae will pop out of your mouth one by one like a pest dispenser well apparently this meme was brought to you by the dragons gang don't mess with these guys cause uh yeah they they don't like it when you insult dragons karen says i'm in anyone else in this nonsense all over the world we will stop wearing masks just throw those filthy things away i could wipe my collect the dna from the crap stain genetically engineer a clone of myself from the dna and it would still be less of a wipe than you god you got to hit them where it hurts jeez oh i see you're listening to [ __ ] i am so happy my parents don't know english yeah they understood what the song was saying uh i don't know if they like it well maybe they would maybe grandma would be listening like there's some [ __ ] in this house there's some [ __ ] in this house yo mama's so fat thanos had to clap you see the snap wasn't enough oh no siree thanos had to use both his hands he had to dual hand that [ __ ] i will rip out your tongue and shove my foot so far up your wrist the doctors will be picking my toenails out of your teeth i hope someone replaces your apple juice with pee you absolutely effing useless floral pattern lampshade i'm sorry what that is a first i've ever heard of it but god dude you are angry nobody cares i [ __ ] your mom my mom is literally a jar of ash's buddy and it's still the wettest p word you've ever gotten oof dead body reported blur stormtrooper i gotta get away no not like this kirby hi now we can't even suck my ding-dong right if kirby sucked your ding-dong he'd become minnie kirby yikes yo no that's pain i wish gumshot sounded like the ping of an m1 garand granted now it sounds like the battle of the bulge whenever i swing around your mom's house yo imagine a parent knocking on their kid's door like timmy what are you doing in there he just here through the door uh nothing mom i'm playing call of duty he looks like my bicycle seat i mean with that long and narrow face i agree oh this is from the story where the father beats up the child molester yep dude beat him so hard he turned him into a simpsons character oh oh he's got the lips and everything just paint them yellow and you got yourself a simpson what is the most embarrassing non item someone could find on your computer my spreadsheet showing my sex life over the past 26 years but first they'd have to break into my 17-digit password to unlock the file why do you have a 17-digit password for an empty spreadsheet written by some hacker oh man you've been exposed why you lying about the spreadsheet if it's zero just say zero come on man no need to lie rule 34 states if it exists there is of it no exceptions what is something you're pretty confident is an exception oh that's easy you it is bullcrap a sperm whale's vocalizations are so loud that they could kill a diver who is too close i can confirm this i almost went deaf last time i [ __ ] your mom xxx tentacion is that you again ask your mom and she'll tell you how big it is mate i will suck you and it wouldn't even touch the front row of my teeth oh that's a first i have not heard that one before but yeah go on roast them parents have read it why don't you close the door when you're leaving our rooms because saying son your room stinks of the month old socks that are clearly stuffed down the side of your bed and you need to let some fresh air in here because i'm genuinely worried at this point that breathing in the air that is currently in here technically counts as me swallowing your money shot is just gonna embarrass us both ah that's a good point women who falsely accused 15 men of rape jailed for 10 years to be fair it does look like a 15 man job ok yup next meme we did it boys virginity is no more me and my girlfriend did the no no act we're filthy sinners and it lasted two minutes but we freaking did it it's a shame that even instant noodles are slower to cook than you in bed oh man like i'm happy for you but uh two minutes yeah that ain't nothing to brag about when you step on a scale and it says 1776 america america i've fallen and i can't get up she looks like she's on two percent battery lord we need you right now i can't eat anything now this dude looks like the word arizona don't ask me why he does patrick arizona mahomes the second i farted on your dad's balls my dad is dead yeah he died of ball fart come on he sounds like he's getting his nuts twisted into a balloon animal can't wait to take a dump on fanatic barely even a fart bieber looks like a roofer that disappears on payday after you give him his check he looks like he's stranded in your town and just needs a couple bucks for a bus ticket back to indiana i'm sorry indiana justin bieber 2020 looks like he's trying to convince justin bieber 2009 to get into his van why does he look like a 30 year old lesbian millennial albert einstein i'm sorry pyrocynical i'm crying why is this a thing the third one looks like billy eilish okay but you're right the one little piece of green i get it billy ray cyrus looks like kenny rogers doing a george michael cosplay bryant looks like he doesn't wipe after using the toilet who says he does his laugh sounds like scooter off spongebob when bubble buddy didn't dig him out by the tide oh no in my family we carry a specific gene that makes us at risk for cancer my mother god rest her soul contracted breast cancer at the age of 30 and as a child i had to watch her pass at age five it broke my heart to know my sister had been diagnosed last year and she's fighting to stay alive despite having a terminal diagnosis this year doctors have confirmed by some miracle that i don't carry that gene i've never cried so hard in my life knowing that i'll be spared despite this illness afflicting my entire family it's a real shame that this video gave me cancer anyway oh my god the build up holy moly they all look like they're playing dress up with daddy's clothes with the fat ties and poor fitting clothes got him he looks like he's been sniffing the fumes from a bottle of elmer's glue uh yeah don't do that he looks like the feminine version of bruce willis oh my god he does that i wouldn't have thought of that but yeah it makes sense thanos and triple h had a son and it's this guy why does he both look intimidating and friendly at the same time that's not an insult that's just he's a gentle giant girls spend 70 on an outfit in curl hair and put on makeup just to hook up with a frat boy in a hawaiian shirt who peed his bed last night she looks like a human yeast infection i'm all you need on valentine's day did you know anything that comes out of your mouth is in quote it's 69 days until 4 20 20. how do you feel i want to know how long you've been waiting to post this as long as it took them checking their instagram feed this morning holy crap you just killed him dude my man looked like he crawled out of a lean cup ooh the one in the middle looks like lizzo if she was a ps2 character man it's always the best ones are the ones when they say they look like video game graphics like old video game graphics dr phil looks like a lobster that can't poo properly hmm i don't know about that one that does that one doesn't make much sense i think that's just uh haha funny random pharrell the type of guy to download a mirror app he looks like mr krabs without a shell you know what that might be him at 13 i saw my grandfather and my best friend die in a car accident i thought his screams of pain would be the ugliest thing i heard in life until i heard your music oh man you know you know it's you know it's a deep one a deep cut when they put in a personal experience jimmy fallon the only thing he should host is a parasite oh come on this guy looks like he could sit on a popsicle and tell you what flavor it is oh my god the one on the left looks like that one kid that does all the things the popular kid does because he thinks it makes him cool yeah the guy looks like he swallowed a reclining chair i never thought about that but yeah it does you look like what a non-redditor thinks her editor looks like yeah yeah yep why does he look like ryan reynolds halfway done taking off the deadpool skin effects makeup um you know what yeah i don't know about that one that this is i think this is a weak one why do i look like a 45 year old dad watching his daughter's soccer team do their pre-games here at center field i don't know but he looks proud of something he looks happy this guy looks like every single spider-man actor put together oh don't don't do my boy scott like that if i announced i was giving a ted talk what subject would you automatically assume i was giving it on funko pops tessa looks like a tired single mom that's on the verge of a meltdown you know she does no disrespect but yeah yeah the weekend makes music for girls who cheat on you with your best friend while you're on vacation in south carolina man you had to disrespect south carolina like that someone said trippy red looks like greta thundberg cosplaying lil wayne and now i can't unsee it oh my god his personality is literally a tuna sandwich with a cup of water ah my stomach turned just reading that tyler could post a video of him making out with a dude while holding a rainbow flag and straight dudes will still say he's trolling why tyler look like a neapolitan ice cream sandwich yeah you got the the chocolate the the vanilla and you got the strawberry and also mint you look like the type of guy to go to a mexican restaurant with his two kids and wife jessica and at the end say welp you kiddos ready to vamanos [Laughter] why does lele look like a vegan soccer mom who's in the middle of a divorce ronnie looks like a big bag of walnuts arnold looks like he's been designed by an artist by the way i think i broke my pinky drink milk loser i know i've broke my wrist before by the way this is my second injury sustained from basketball drink milk loser buy nest quick if you don't like the taste if you're lactose intolerant then drink pepto-bismol shots with each cup that's so funny i forgot to ask you don't have to ask weak bone jester oh my god what is the oddest insult you have ever heard you freaking weapon i recently heard by a scotsman and it made me lose my mind laughing i wish every comment on this post got downvoted into oblivion granted but there's one exception jesus christ tried to play doom and animal crossing with one controller yeah i wonder how that worked out you get three wishes one selfish one selfless and one meaningless what are they i want unlimited cheeseburgers for the rest of my life i want everyone in the world to get a free cheeseburger on tuesdays and i want all burger buns to have 17 more sesame seeds granted tifu by selling my little brother for 17 to someone in taiwan oh i'm the 1000th guy to like this comment i just unliked and liked again said i'm the 100k like i am also an anarchist you're a clown i am also an anarchist trying to find a doctor at an anti-vaccine rally doctors zero morons 207 you have joined the public group vegans you have been removed from the group he removed my post so i removed him are you sure you won't see posts or comments from this user batman obama we meet again it's been a long time man i wish it was the weekend again so i can go eat hot dogs and drink beer with my dad uh excuse me it turns out women are actually better drivers than men does she know she's in the back seat in the photo wait a second now it's your turn to answer what makes you human my big peepee what the frick are you supposed to do when having happy birthdays sung to you pick one person to unflinchingly stare at and whisper the song back on a one second delay apparently the dude who started netflix did so because he got a 40 late fee from blockbuster and was pissed pettiness is the greatest motivation in the world in 1888 almond brown stronger in undertaker noticed he was losing a lot of business to the other undertaker in his town he found out that the other undertaker's wife was a telephone operator when she intercepted people asking to be connected to stronger's funeral home the operator would route the call to her husband's funeral home instead three years later stronger patented in the automatic telephone exchange a system which allowed telephone users to make calls without the need for human operators he destroyed a whole workforce this song makes me want to break into someone's house toast all their bread and leave okay bono post song for people of italy in wake of kobe 19. isn't italy suffering enough already you have four hundred dollars your ex really needs one hundred dollars your girl also needs two hundred dollars how much do you have four hundred dollars in unread messages i like this guy neighbor caught escaping coronavirus lockdown by dressing as a bush thankfully the great escape looks likely to just be an elaborate prank at gordon ramsay what do you think about my flooded burger looks like the bottom of a dishwasher after a busy cycle the lightsaber meme has transcended all other memes happy cake day thanks try to reflect on the good times before the quarantine like when this freaking legendary rotisserie chicken on his car while stuck in traffic that is pretty great if we're in a relationship your clothes are my clothes too don't ask me why i have your shirt on this is our shirt when i come straight in with your leggings on i don't want to hear stuff why does every cool cat account follow you this used to be a cool cat meme posting account but then i switched to this as my main after i got suspended for tagging the official cia account telling them to gargle my nuts and not oh man arrested for series of suspected underwear theft in tampines 2 500 undergarments ceased by police good god consulate deactivated all platforms a consulate map update introduced an unintended lighting issue in 1.1 we're working towards releasing a pc hotfix early next week plus a console fix later until then we have deactivated consulate for all platforms someone quick find a lighting issue with clash plus monty update we found an issue with king george and we'll have to deactivate him until further notice this is the greatest day of my life making a curry at 10am like a maverick what is lockdown doing to me so churches are not essential but abortion clinics are essential got it yes because abortion is healthcare glad i can clear that up for you liz 600 000 babies a year would disagree with you i could easily win a debate against 600 000 babies diego the tortoise had so much sex he saved his species that's it that's the tweet when you want to tell someone to shut up send them this if you can read this you have the power to shut the frick up i believe in you oh and they got replied to with the same exact tweet nice i wish every time my dog pooped in the yard at night a little yellow flag would pop up so i could find it to pick it up the next day you can wish for anything you like and instead of wishing the poop would disappear you wish for it to be easier to pick up when i was in the military if i died there to play that at my funeral i asked dave to get some eggs i mean you didn't say actual eggs so which came first the french flag or the white flag wrong they're the same flag the ban oh boy let me let me grab cash kakuhuits i don't know what those are florida man in tutu breaks into farmers market to consume fruit and soda huh tell me why my cat is in my rabbit's cage looking for food what's fortnite call me on the telephone i'll give you a million reasons to play you and i at ninja who are you shout out to my friend's dad please please do not use any more bad language when communicating with my daughter on instagram freaking make me the front page of reddit just mocked me well you're playing minecraft so i don't think anyone's allowed to mock you actually fricked it so you liked my post so you have to post an embarrassing picture of yourself for the caption you're only allowed to write until tomorrow and you can only tag me you must send this message to every person who has liked your photo the picture must stay posted for 24 hours good luck and don't spoil the game i'm not doing that since a lot of you degenerates are saying perverted stuff in the comments of my previous post about my drawing i'm now officially making this person a boy with a 10 inch long now all you perverts are gay hi hello how are you are you male or female no i'm g-male you mean gay cheating on my boyfriend and letting him nut inside me you must not commit adultery bro how the freak you verified is god i mean he's god gordon what do you think about the quarantine pizza that my sons did we didn't have ingredients for dough so they used mashed potato instead and you can't see it well but there are bacon bits under the cheese i hope you notice it i'ma keep it real with you fam stuff looks awful i hope your five-year-old son can cook better me too every time i say something like surely that's not her cath to myself i respond back to myself don't call me shirley i'm not normal well apparently there's a post going around on how to start a military hummer let's just say that someone actually did it and stolen hmmv today i had to assist local law enforcement on recovering and returning it back to the national guard unit that it belonged to oh my god one make hoax two upload to 4chan three post angry tweet about leak four delete tweet five let internet do rest i love alex hirsch we changed our name to home shark because some of you needed reminding to stay home good on you jim shark mrs just checked my phone and turns out that house party app has hacked my dms and asked some random last to come around mine suggest everyone deletes it the rumors about house party circulating in the uk are disheartening but in this case maybe we can take one for the team and write you an excuse later for the misses she bought it lads don't worry but i do appreciate the offer cheers 10 illegal things to do in london oh okay i always told people i met michael jackson but now that i found the picture man wtf who the frick was this i just realized this sub is not called mildly infuriating i'm infuriated i didn't know this is earlier took me like three takes to see it just now wtf i don't see it mildly infuriating it sounds like it should be mildly it took me four tries lamou james is a furry it's official people james we are proud i'm not jelly is not allowed to sit on the wi-fi router a week ago she knocked over the auntie jelly router blockade and made it her bed again nothing stops jelly i'm working from home without the design team hopefully this conveys jimmy john's open for delivery i mean i can read it so i don't know why people say getting karma is hard if you don't vote you're gay lol i'm willing to take that bullet just for this the woman who lives above me finally got sick of our building's coin operated washer that never works so she removed it bought and installed her own and told the rest of us to use it for free when we finally go to war with landlords she's who i want in charge baby this coochie is yours you can do whatever you want with it let's sell it loading five minutes in the comment isn't loaded these servers are garbage which one of you did this penis can you get in trouble for driving over the white line all the way at a red light hi luke it's an offense for any part of the vehicle to pass the white stop line if a traffic light is turned red thanks no worries that's what i figured [Music] my husband i'm 30 has been my best friend since i was seven he was the new kid at school and i walked up to him and said we are going to be best friends he said no we aren't leave me alone i bugged him every day for two weeks before he finally said if i'll be your friend will you shut up about it we were married 20 years later proved his wrong i'm attempting to memorize the link to never gonna give you up by rick astley so i can never be rick rolled again good idea naples florida man leaves ten thousand dollar tip for serving staff to split a mid-coronavirus spread my god we get some kids riled up for pizza and then leave i wish i could fit both of my favorite games in my header guys i did it oh remember no villager i did it april fools uh oj uh did you didn't tweet it on the right day it's orange nobody argue with me it's my cake day it's red pain milk but what i i'm i'm sorry ew panda express sucks they don't even use real panda um me mom come quick mom i'm busy cooking i cannot abandon the food right now me just pause it after i got out of the shower at four i peaked existing i got the urge to drink water and said frick it and drink cold tap water and out of my cat's clean water bowl honestly it was the best stuff i've ever had anyway good night good morning you're such a freaking mad lad sometimes and it's amazing peta if you respond i'm buying 100 cows and i'm gonna boil them alive donate thanks for your support complete your donation now i bet microsoft won't pin this comment pinned by microsoft flight simulator if you spill out the entire pledge of allegiance i'll delete this account ouija says i pledge allegiance to the flag of the united blah blah blah uh i pee who the frick sent me a potato in the mail i had to pay four dollars and 20 cents to pick this fricker up seven illegal things to do in a british election oh this mad lad again red sox get rick rolled by padres nice day one of tweeting until ryan reynolds answers nailed it on minute one congratulations and wash your hands update i'm crying i tried to rickroll my teacher the internet is great please tell me a joke memes are a knock knock oh damn bam i wish you were still with us i sure would love to hang out again my brother love you miss you hh i'm alive brother but miss you too i guess i'm graduating on freaking roblox uh we will be using the online website roblox in order to provide a virtual world to host the class of 2020's graduation oh my god yo don't you ever say that again that is some scary hell right there that again this server doesn't have a notification they just added that today oh that's nasty that's yes yes ball shaft ball i see ben shapiro's twitter likes one of them i genuinely dislike ben shapiro by chris evans i showed this video to my mom my little sister wanted to let me know that it's been a while since i've had a tweet that's really taken off in case you're curious this one isn't a hit either ice cold but i deserve it so this is why my kid has to hurry up to go back to school i just bought these chocolate chip cookies and my son ate them all and had the audacity to place some cookie crisp cereal inside after he ate them smh no snacks.com r hentai so sweet nobody expects the spanish inquisition i will be happy to help you but i need you to back the frick up behind the blue line please crap has gotten real in the time to be politically correct has passed the nice sign wasn't working is this on spotify nope good because i wouldn't listen to it i'm in high school and very interested in this thank you so much my dream school is mit probably not the wisest thing to say in a stanford video's comment section italy 101 year old man who was born during the spanish flume pandemic has recovered from a coronavirus infection holy cow did i just get rick rolled did you use my love for geography to bait me into clicking on this link this is a new low even for my last name i take it that the stay at home order has begun to take a toll on you i hope that you will manage to find a way to survive in a house with your father and sister this isn't over mr teacher how did that kid get suspended these kids strategically set off every fire alarm in the school within 20 seconds talk to one of them after well what'd they say dude this was from like a month ago how did you find this you know silly willy 699 is a real mad lad or a madman should i say it edit don't mind my name i'm not the legend of sillywilly699 edit i am not sillywilly699 the legend people who tell me i shouldn't drink lava the media people who lie the media conclusion i'm going to drink lava i did it i freaking did it my neck hurts like hell but i did it i sucked my own ding-dong after hours of practice i've done it i've managed to properly suckle the foreskin and kiss the glands it's not much but it's a huge step the trick is to get stretchy yoga pants and put your head in i've pretty much peaked unless i can get it deeper of course i'm experimenting the band and hold a knife closed if i get stuck you could be talking to a therapist right now give online counseling a try with two free weeks let's talk about it walk me through everything that happened i just don't see how this can get any better oh my god one of the all-time great vocalists joe diffy was my friend rip buddy rip joe back in 87 he and i had one night stand the cowboy was very well hung unfortunately he never called me back heaven gained another 10 inches breaking news congressman massey has tested positive for being told he must be quarantined to prevent the spread of his massive stupidity he's given new meaning to the term [ __ ] finally something the president i can agree on never do john kerry had such a good sense of humor very impressed someone has waited their entire life to write this headline nasa data shows something leaking out of uranus if he pins this i'll go vegan pinned by movieflame hope you're ready lol congrats now go vegan oof i am very nice and very bored hi very nice and very bored i'm dead i swear if i hear one more thing about corona out it's a virus restoration my wife's magic massage machine repair japanese multifunctional massage machine yeah multifunctional indeed i do not love wine april fools oh you got me gail xbox controller this website is for whites only white xbox controller come on i'm watching this glassblowing video from my art appreciation clash and this man has zero chill i'm actually crying i used to be a glassblower and still occasionally do it as a hobby my grandson asked me to make him a special vase for christmas and he gave me a picture of a bong the idiot thinks i don't know what it is so i'll make him a huge glass dick instead good on you grandma oh this is an easy bet team ninja loses easy ninja don't you have another cat to abuse jeez ninja you didn't have to murder her she just said your team was gonna lose you're like nah i gotta ender right now [Laughter] changing the american flag and national anthem hey i mean a million people have signed it i mean if that's what the people want you gotta give it to the people my thing is like why manny from like diary of a wimpy kid i'm sure it's like a tick tock thing but i don't get it i don't understand it one bit my wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the powerpoint presentation i mean honey you asked this is on you this is where the great wall of china ends so you can just go around it that seems like a huge oversight reminder that i love my kitten so much and if anything happens to him i will literally commit so many atrocities that they'll move books about hitler to the heartwarming section geez geez calm down nobody's gonna hurt your animal okay just chill i got banned from r funny ask me anything okay why were you banned i tried to prank my math class on kahoot so i posted a picture of the game code to a subreddit it worked perfectly because i was due to go to a blood drive at the school that day five minutes after i posted it i found i got a perma-ban but my classmate said that hundreds of people flooded in and the teacher freaked out i mean on one hand you got permabanned from a subreddit that you'll never be able to you know contribute to on that account but on the other hand every day it was a pretty cool prank five stars really good service love smelling the beer i'm only nine so i can't drink it frowny face oh you just gotta love the moxie on this kid i bet he goes to school and the teacher's like okay timmy what do you want to be when you grow up i want to be an alcoholic what uh timmy timmy no my boss said i had to run an ad here on reddit but i already know how this is going to end so i'll save you all the work buy a bark box for your dog maybe silence brand all right good job barkbox now go away brand ivanka trump i stand with india usa stands with india this guy replies with i love you ma'am here's my number it's my whatsapp do call me hey dude why are you thirsting for ivanka you know she has a husband right granted her husband is jared and he's about as tough as a piece of bread but still she's taken bro what do you really want call me carson says i'd like three nacho cheese doritos locos taco supremes five crunchy racks supremes two nacho supremes one shredded chicken dude dude okay we get it you're hungry the nypd is reported that antifa has painted convincing looking tunnels on walls to trick new york's finest into running into them at high speed lol is new york a looney tunes cartoon r confessions i have been sleeping with both partners of a married couple neither of them are aware the other is cheating the wife doesn't even know the husband likes men i mean seems like an opportunity for a throuple if you ask me i mean it's crazy that you got yourself in this situation like to begin with but it's also hilarious amazon fresh gave us someone else's order and it was a capri sun and canned chili date night just got a whole lot hotter amazon helped we're sorry to hear that you received the wrong order eddie have you had a chance to reach out to us directly about this you're good bro giving me the chili was a wing man move wait what about capri suns and canned chili makes the date night hotter i don't get it like you go up to your girl you're like hey girl i didn't bring you any roses or like wine or anything but i got capri sun and chili so you already know what's about to go down you feel me thank you so much mr c.i.a they're using something called updog to mobilize what's up dog haha nothing much what's up with you oh i did they got the cia not even the cia is safe he who does not lick the clip should not get to hit coochlations169 ah yes we've got a true gentleman on our hands ladies and gentlemen my thing is where's the fedora when you're on reddit enough and you see posts like this you just kind of expect a fedora to be there dude have you seen that clown at mcdonald's that hides from gay people no of course you haven't hey man screw you ah man you remember when people actually use gay as an insult i mean who really is the clown here my ex works in a pharmacy so whenever i want to spoil her mood i would just go there and buy a condom for no reason sometimes i go three times a day and the devil's like well i just want to say dude i'm a huge fan my son was so happy when we finally let him hold the controller up but it's not plugged in if you've ever had to play video games near a kid this is just what you got to do because they they don't know what they're doing and it's so annoying you want to help them but it's just so bad i have 27 pounds as my buddy it's actually 27 pounds like that on god who cares uh actually it's oh god who cares well in this person's defense you can actually say on god who cares you know like it's it's something that the youth say i don't know if this person's a kind of a boomer if he's never heard people say on god but like it's an actual phrase a vietnam war american sniper volunteered to crawl for three days across 2000 meters of open field containing an enemy's headquarters he took a single shot that killed the nva's general and then crawled back out without being spotted oh man what an actual mad lad and like look at how he's dressed he looks like a badass that reminds me of a couple years ago when my dumb stupid b post was going around and someone was trying to argue with me about how unethical beekeeping for honey was like so i was like uh-huh what i don't bee keep for honey i throw that nasty goop out i eat the bees mmm crunchy and i thought they were going to try and kill me in real life i mean good tip for being on the internet if you ever read a comment that seems like really negative or could offend you just assume it's a troll her what did you feed the kids me cereal captain crunch yes but with red bull instead of milk her me i call it cap and crunk trademark the kids head butting holes into their bedroom doors everyone have a great day why why because i care about my family so this dad's a savage because i care about your family what are you some kind of punk how did you come up with your username politely decline no thanks a girl commented on my post a guy replied she replied again and they were about to fall in love so i deleted the post oh you're evil some people really do just want to watch the world burn today at work i was at the drive-through and the man at the window wanted to pay for the person behind him and he said tell her i think she's hot so she pulls up next and i tell her and she rolls her eyes smiles and says ah that's my husband and if that's not relationship goals i don't know what is who needs drugs seriously i have drugs florida man and no seriously i have drugs t-shirt arrested for possession of drugs hey you gotta respect this man you you gotta respect his honesty you gotta respect his moxie his spirit you know you know what i i free free my man free my man right here i made a p hub account using north korea's email oh you actual mad lad hey wait a second his accounts deleted ah no the north korean government got to him at everyone everyone when someone drops at everyone in discord tech's channel huh that is quite literally very accurate my mother-in-law recently finished reading the exorcist she said to me that was the worst book i ever read and then she goes at the beach and throws the book at the sea in the same day i buy a new one wet it a little and put it on her bedside table that night was the first time she screamed and fainted i'm gonna call fake on this story i mean it just seems all a little far-fetched like the mother-in-law doesn't like the books so she throws it into the beach and then when she sees it on her bedside table she screams and faints it seems not plausible seems like something a kid would write i don't know just it's fake get off our mad lad video yet fake story mark cuban fined fifteen thousand dollars for f-bomb says effort and gets another fifteen thousand so basically millionaires can just go on television and say all the curse words they want because what a find's not gonna hurt them it seems twitter's fact-checking algorithm goes off if frequency and oxygen appear in the same tweet get the facts about coco 19 blurs jaws i went to see one of these and some kid went underwater and was touching people's ankles scared the f out of me oh that kid's a legend whoever goes to a jaw movie and like swims underwater to grab people you're just a certified mad lad at that point i wonder when the comments will realize that first is in my swear filter every video i wait to see who was falling into my trap today ah zombie cleo you can't do that how are people supposed to know who's first just so you know everybody who's watching this easy peasy video i look at who comments first every time you know i i gotta make sure you know i give them credit on this day kids were told to bring a fish all of them brought their pet fishes and this kid brought a dead fish you know what you followed instructions all right i can't actually criticize you i agree with anti-vaxxers ask me anything why so because i work at funerals and anti-vaxxers just keep bringing in the money old man f's entire galaxy full video hd hey man this is too accurate i i can't i got my entire high school's ip address banned from editing wikipedia because i kept trying to make garfield transgender i've never heard i've never heard of anybody trying to make garfield transgender before but the idea is it i mean honestly i could see it i could totally see why that would be something added to his character in the future this guy is operating on a whole nother level all right this is this is some next level thinking right there ah man what a story that is the school can't even edit wikipedia anymore it's like why not it's like well i'm sorry but you guys are the hot spot for uh transgender garfield and we just we're done this guy wrote that he got rick rolled and then when he got so many likes and comments he edited it edit it too i'm gay so now everybody's like yep me too so am i i bet everybody scrolling through the comment section is like wow there's a lot of gay people on this thread ignoring girls that want to talk to me hey can i get your number ha ha no you can't some girl asked me to play guitar for her so i rick rolled her because i'm not a simp i mean hey man you got to do what you got to do you got to prove to her you're not a sim so i'm glad you rick rolled her this man is named guy standing the only photo of him is of him sitting ah come on guy standing you had one job one job ha ha 102 upvotes teach me how to get that many upvotes by typing hahaha 60 upvotes thanks sensei during an interview with stephen hawkings the camera operator yanked a cable causing an alarm and hawking to slump over worried that they had killed him everyone rushed over to find hawking giggling at his own joke the alarm was from an office computer losing power oh man oh he really got him didn't he sneaking deodorant into people's armpits ah dude you should go to a convention and do this like go to an amazement or something like that you'd be a freaking hero renovating the house decided to put this in the wall before it's boarded up so i can give the next person who renovates the house a heart attack you should put a 1984 hide and seek champion t-shirt on it oh it's so brilliant so diabolical it's it's evil and it's not it just it's so good surgery for my legs because i can't stand you hoes all right internet we gotta band together and help this guy get to his 60 000 goal i truly don't think i have ever seen a heterosexual couple where the guy was objectively hotter than the girl joshua you say something confidence joshua that's what i like to see i mean look at this stud he's rocking it alabama husband saved wife's life by donating kidney after spending a year dieting and exercising to get his blood pressure low enough for surgery what a wholesome mad lad that's what i like to see you are a hard level memer if you see this if you actually shake your phone you can you can pretty much see the picture i see a [ __ ] your screen may be switched off you know oh oh that's me isn't it like if kermit should jump oh geez why does everybody want kermit to jump finally got all the lights on took years i mean i'm happy for you and all but you should probably get your car checked out i'm 20 minutes into listening and i absolutely refuse to stop until i perfect the lyrics edit i'm at 54 minutes and 12 seconds and i'm pretty close to perfecting the lyrics another edit one hour and 19 minutes in i've finally done it i know it by heart now lol i have no life i mean what can i say it's a good song to know imagine going to karaoke and you just know the lyrics by heart you're going to be a king or queen i'm literally making toast with a brick f a machine i got a brick yeah cause who needs all that fancy technology coco parenting tip train your children to loudly ask why isn't that person wearing a mask are we going to get sick when they're in public trust me it can make some people feel really uncomfortable which is kind of the point if i hear the phrase wear a mask one more time kenny wear a mask i just pulled the ultimate fu on my friend basically he said he'd seen a 14 second video 1 billion times so i did the math and it came out to 4.4 years why did i do the math because i'm freaking bored i mean hey a lot of us are still you know locked in our houses so being bored is fair at a half marathon in alabama a dog wandered onto the race start after her owner let her out to relieve herself she followed the runners after the starting shot and finished seventh the race organizers gave her a medal as they should of course because come on not only is that adorable but that dog put in the work the nice [ __ ] documentary how i destroyed my school with nice [ __ ] posters a 30 minute documentary that has over a million views i gotta check this out grace stop calling the family members racist on facebook um no how about our family members stop being racist on facebook like for real that seems like the easiest solution i emailed north korea so i found out that north korea has an email and naturally i emailed them i said greetings fleshy ones in binary code they email me back today saying better fleshy than brainless like you and dang it would have been nicer to nuke me i don't feel like making an imager but i do have screenshots if you're skeptical edit here's the link edit again i should probably say that i do not recommend emailing them because it was a stupid idea to begin with and i don't need suspicions that i made other people email them what is their email go to their website and find it yes they have a website no no no no don't go to their website and don't email north korea that seems like just a really bad idea without using numbers how tall are you one meter and 94 centimeters ah listen here you little scheisse gosh don't freaking oo woo at me ooh okay i peed directly in the middle of the toilet at 3am to assert dominance over everyone else in the house who thinks that it's okay to make as much noise as possible when i'm sleeping hey man you you gotta do what you gotta do pewdiepie has been banned from sweden wait wait what but that's his home you can't ban him from his home last night my son asked if i had ever heard of a pillow fight i said i had not so he explained the premise and asked if i wanted to play i awkwardly held a pillow as he gave me pointers through a smile that lit up the room my first swing took him off his feet he never saw it coming you gotta teach your kids who's the real king of pillow fights okay you gotta teach them early r slash unpopular opinion the stunt the kid pulled off by faking brain cancer on ask me anything was hilarious and it was so funny to see gullible redditors waste their money on useless pixels they call rewards and oh my goodness this guy definitely got awards the legendary pokemon go player from taiwan okay so this is just flat out impressive all right i don't want to take any merits from this guy but first off can he see while he's driving that moped i mean it seems like that would be very difficult second off if he drives past a pokemon how is he supposed to catch it does he just tap his screen like 70 times it seems like this guy is very advanced but he might be taking this thing a little too seriously florida man wears f the police shirt to court and wins his case i mean if he was innocent he's innocent alright that's good the mad lag can wear whatever he wants someone stole my freaking porch i opened the door and fell you can't have crap in detroit oh no come on man come on who steals a porch like that's why why would anybody do this me leaving the quarantine hospital after telling every patient to stay positive whoa whoa we got ourselves a badass over here i've heard it's actually still around but because of modern medicine we can't treat it don't quote me on this don't quote me bot i've heard it's actually still around but because i'm out of medicine we can't treat it don't quote me on this okay thanks a lot don't quote me bot repeat hello abod i swear hello repeat i'm stupid yeah we know wait a second i ordered some stuff on amazon a few weeks ago and was just getting around to getting rid of the box found this note at the bottom of the box and could not stop laughing to whoever packed my items i salute you and good luck in your new endeavors i just wanted to let you know i put in my resignation last week i'm out of this birch on july 22nd alas this man is free from the grips of amazon which is actually good because i hear they abuse their workers a lot and i'm glad this person can find a better working environment rick astley's never gonna give you up rest in peace buddy wait this is fake edit i just understood i went over to the song to check it and then i got rick rolled dang it you fool i have ascended he's too dangerous to be kept alive short people gang rise up can't rise up if you're too short lmfao hey man you leave short people alone we may not be able to play basketball and like reach things on the top shelf but we're still cool your blog is amazing and i love following but why are you tagging rocks as sexy hey someone noticed i'm doing it because the idea of someone searching up corn and finding a rock instead is kind of funny to me okay that is kind of funny but you'd be surprised to find some pretty weird people on the internet they'd look up a rock and be like sexy oh yeah that rock is sexy am i really allowed to blank my own daughter ask a ouija says raise someone comments are the other person comments a and this saint of a person comments i thank goodness because we did not need it to go anywhere else you deserve the awards two total strangers have saxophone battle on new york city subway train i refuse to believe that this is random no these guys had to have planned it it was too beautiful did you just remove arnold's comment arnold schwarzenegger i think it's because i used the r and d words to explain this is not political yeah sorry arnold auto mod has been reprimanded you'll never have to apologize about out of control machines to me i mean to be fair he would be the one to know about out of control machines what with him being you know the terminator and all for anyone who attended the discord panel i was the kid who screamed and won a t-shirt i love how this got 540 likes like people are like oh so that was who it was doom eternal original game soundtrack this makes me want to break into someone's house and install a security system hey you better not well actually actually go ahead and do so that's actually really really nice of you i mean seriously this soundtrack makes people want to do some pretty crazy stuff damaris asks david harbour how many retweets for you to take my senior photos with me david harbour responds 25k and i get to wear the school sweatshirt and hold the trombone and what do you know it gets 26 000 retweets and here we go look at these beautiful people what would you do if there was a big fat rat half the size of you in your house with razor sharp teeth and it also had rabies i'd tell my brother to shut up you hear that daniel you're a rat my brother's name is daniel and he actually knows he's a rat so that's good are you sure you want to block team snapchat what dude if you block team snapchat who's gonna send you holiday messages those are like my favorite part of snapchat youtube creators tweets what's the best piece of business advice you've gotten from another creator oh that's easy steal ideas see cause when you steal other people's ideas you don't have to be as creative it's actually pretty genius some useless facts 1. i count 305 steps 2. his average speed is 2 steps a second those are useless facts but i am glad somebody spent the time to do the math latvian police making a guy remove f the police sticker from his car hey man that's disrespectful fine i know i'm getting it off the stupid police always making me do stuff for them what was that uh nothing sir you're stupid police i met you at the travis scott concert and we talked for a bit but when i asked you for an autograph you called me a light four out of ten boy and make me fortnite dance for the autograph my question is why did you do that because you deserved it dang that's harsh man you took a fan and you you forced into fortnite dance that's that's borderline evil what are some slang terms a 50 year old dad can say to his daughter to embarrass her one of the teachers in my college asked us for slang terms to use for his daughter without asking for the meaning he ended up calling his daughter dummy thick yeah we got in crap for the next day oh poor daughter she must have been so disgusted and confused like dad what's going on man wearing tv on head caught on camera leaving old tvs on virginia front porches oh it's like one of those adoptions he's like i can't raise you baby monitor please stay here this will be a better life for you and then he runs off into the night why making fun of this guy can get you life in prison lol the distance between his nose and ear is a 20 uber ride you know the more people that joke around about this the more people that are gonna go missing alright so be careful i'm white and i'm proud of it okay okay i've heard enough racist crap from here for the group that i'm in that outs racists it's currently being forwarded to your employers i even noticed some active military which is extremely disappointing as a vet myself those are being forwarded to your commands and you should expect your discharges to be forthcoming i hope you all have fun waiting in the unemployment line and if anybody's here to argue like hey you're taking a position away from somebody who's fighting in the military it's like no we're taking a position away from a racist person fighting for something that they don't even believe in so it's a completely different thing sir can i ask you what you would buy if you won yeah probably a bunch of hookers and cocaine okay that's not the answer we were looking for but it was the answer the internet was looking for donald j trump in reality they're not after me they're after you nice [ __ ] [Laughter] just nice [ __ ] everyone nice [ __ ] ladies and gentlemen even the ladies all of you have nice [ __ ] welcome to the hashtag uppercase f haha lowercase f oh come on mrs g is gone for the day so i brought my worms into the living room where they're not allowed here's a selfie i took ah this man doesn't care i really do hope his wife doesn't find this facebook post and be like harold i told you no worms in the living room r slash sea of thieves if you're here you spelled thieves wrong please proceed to the official subreddit r thieves with the i before the e i was born at a very young age ask me anything what age were you born at the ripe young age of exactly zero i mean hey that's pretty impressive you are suddenly teleported to a ted talk stage in front of thousands of people what do you do say check one two and give the guy in the booth thumbs up and walk off the stage four twenty down votes but but but but for twenty are you interested in paying for nudes rachel i don't need to be an economics major to explain you the concept you are charging for a service that is one provided for free at a higher quantity and quality so really you should pay me to see your picks because frankly viewing them for free is a net loss in my book that hey that that's just a businessman at work you stating the facts freak this account i'm not gonna use it guess who's back worms dear millennials one in four tweets i might post qualifies for the response okay boomer so instead i would hold the tweet and just say okay boomer to myself thereby sparing you the obligation to reply and me from cross-generational humiliation okay millennials okay boomer okay from a distance i thought this was like a guy eating a potato like with the skin on but no it's someone eating ice cream with a fork yeah that is mad lad material theater mistakenly plays la la rona instead of detective pikachu kids were crying oh no you're awful jimmy why is that you invited me on your show just to make fun of me uh table if it wants to be a table i i'll let it be a table dammit i remember reading that you legally need rear view mirrors in the usa don't quote me on that though lennon 1004 2019 pokemon sword and shield beaten with wulu only what a mad lad when i was about 10 years old i used to spill my soda down the back of the theater aisle after the movie my mom and brother worked as janitors and i got angry people for picking up their own trash because that would mean there would be no work for janitors oh saying every curse word in the english language holy cow also god why are there so many discord notifications answer your messages i put the peanut butter and jelly in the ass i call it peanut butter and jelly ass sandwich but you're gonna be calling it lunch holy cow i feel threatened this kid was already in 2016 in 2005. wait what no way no way i will record myself eating a freaking minecraft guidebook if i get a platinum reward and he got one edit it's loading are you all happy i'm still waiting for the second to upload i want the video in mp4 4k 60 fps it's uploading pope don's traditional coat with anime image of his face to greet the japanese that is amazing never forget when emmanuel eminiki and maniki i don't know how to say his name divorced his wife who was former miss nigeria 2017 to marry miss nigeria 2018. this man held up a bank with a banana lawrence vanderbilt 50 pulled a stun at an england bank and got away with around fourteen hundred dollars he turned himself in after and got 14 months of robbery and possessing a fake firearm a banana concealed in a plastic bag wow wait a second this guy's breaking the rules arrest him cyber truck tesla i'm gonna tell my kids this is the first pick up tea coffee but but why people who eat the kitkat hole without breaking it off why do you do this i do this because i know you are watching and judging it's my way of saying frick you it's also why i take the middle urinal goodness gracious restricted area no public or media access cameras and recording devices prohibited without proper authorization i mean maybe he got proper authorization who knows ejecting a nintendo ds game while it's running oh god guy pranks san francisco by putting airpod stickers all over the city oh my god i want to see that holy cow this this kid is uh don't mess with him do not mess with him i beat the pokemon champion by poisoning his final pokemon and then spamming revives till it died i probably would have been booed out of the stadium had that been a real event okay i gotta get ready okay your reply is less than imaginative and i'm thoroughly disappointed okay hospitalized for jerking off 54 times in a row because his subscription to pornhub premium was finishing you know what fair enough shoes required hey wait a second i read it before i read i read it before saying it lebron james farts at fans after they asked for his after they asked for his autograph that tickled me so much i'm sorry texas college girl drives around in barbie jeep after her dwi arrest i mean is it legal told a rival dad to just let me know if he needed help carving his turkey again this year right in front of his family from out of town oh today i watched it without permission and stayed up past my bedtime take that losers throwing a piece of cheese at my sister and cousin that is a mad lad ass eating made simple hacking to blame them i mean you gotta get your knowledge somewhere i got selected for jury duty and will be wearing this shirt for the entirety of the trial do you have a single fact to back that up i played bass until i broke all the strings impossible so i leveled up my starter to be a level 100 willowboom i also have not even got to the first gym holy cow do not animals oh i think i will animals this sheep ran away into a cave to avoid getting sheared six years later the sheep was found holy cow griff just griff don't get mad oh no i recorded you snoring and uploaded it to spotify what i've created a monster everyone is streaming it to find everyone dave don't snore currently has 274 568 streams holy cow i told them to write a joke in the box and they put a mirror in it oh law firm hires stray cat after people complain about it wandering around the office i mean hey at least the cat got a job right don't got wi-fi did you post the meme yes what did it cost my data once when i was 11 i wasted 143 gigs on watching anime over the course of one week my dad was actually impressed we were at our summer place with no wi-fi at least he was impressed and not angry my wife told me i couldn't go fishing but i did anyway mad lad would ever be okay if we did the christmas party on the 7th instead pearl harbor day might be a blast it's gonna be the bomb oh so the code has been broken sexy cars c equals cyber a equals atv r equals roadster sequel semi holy cow this guy's got a ditch digging dong i never thought i'd say that in my life i just drank my kid's last apple juice and don't feel a bit of remorse i hope when he asks for his juju tomorrow he understands it's not there because he doesn't pay a single bill around here and life doesn't always give you free handouts he's 20 months old time to grow up yeah grow up my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought i was cheating because i smelled like a girl so i let her do it because i know how to tell her i just got done whacking it in her bathroom with her cocoa butter lotion you know what fair enough do not touch andy he had one job one job too lazy to like but not lazy to type yeah it makes sense man dressed as harambe attends cincinnati football game starts dragging kids around the return of the king bombs about to blow three two one and he ended the chat he cannot reply to this conversation condado tacos took some losers table gave my table away never going here again hollywood actress asks a bts member for his personal number gives his manager's number instead just got to tennis boyfriend has taken my racket out and put a frying pan instead i'm not even joking this this is a sin i'm pretty sure who killed jeffrey epstein i love this movie r slash pickup lines get in the trunk wait a minute english phono tactics don't permit world initial gh ghost what i'm i'm confused i'm lost no cell phones out beyond gate hey wait a minute no food and gym hey wait a s second i'm tired of these people not following simple directions frick the school that's that's real are right there the grudge building in manera is beerus thinnest building the owner built it to block his brother's property seaview holy cow what you doing taking a bath send pic bye what she wasn't lying man creates dating app where he's the only guy allowed now that that's a genius strategy i don't know how i didn't think about that women are not tourist attractions yes they are hey i didn't say it i was just reading the meme okay mr musk i have a deal for you i will pull the fortnite anthem offline and replace it with a song called fortnite is dead go play outside if you give me a free cyber truck i put all my exes in a group chat let's do this oh my god so what's the news i'm not your friend that is good news drop a live grenade when killed people who tweet dumb stuff and mute their threads from genuine criticism boil my piss oh my god i heard you did pretty good today in the afternoon i heard you spent more time today than you've spent all together doing homework okay i'm glad you spent real time working on things keep it up and get more done tomorrow i'm proud of you and you can do this getting used to distant learning is not easy okay can i get more than two letters okay o-k-a-y your move james charles i have officially named my wi-fi 5g tower 200 power and the facebook group associated with my town has been freaking out trying to find out where it is stupid bucks i mean that's funny though man someone call the police i just loaded a six-round clip with seven darts i did this a bunch and it broke my dart guns man don't do it you mad lad did you run away from your kid what 14 years ago did you leave someone who was pregnant mate i'm 21. sorry looking for my dad oh god that's great you must have at least 32 characters in your title at least 32 characters you must have at least 32 characters in your title liar youtube.com slash activate 3.3 mad lad madland indeed hi i'm an albanian rickroll but because of poor technology in my country unfortunately i am not able to rick roll you please be so kind and search up rick astley and click top result and then share it other redditors many thanks for your cooperation best regards albanian rickroll he is a man of focus commitment and sheer bucking will i respect you sir at everyone this is very important i made a new youtube channel all 20s they have a one in a big number chance of getting it and i was just pointing that out do you really think something as stupid as the laws of the universe are going to hold me back in my d20s i play d i rule the world one day there may be a company like ancestry.com but instead of your lineage they find your ancestors internet presence social media comments etc then i'll just let all my future relatives know that i don't give a single flying buck about them don't argue with people online platforms people tend to be more defensive of their opinions and more aggressive with their words it will only ruin your day and waste your time shut your mouth you don't know what the hell you're talking about over here what's the best wi-fi name you've seen we're not allowed to have our own routers on campus so i named mine at t mobile hotspot well i hope you tricked that campus but then i also don't hope you trick the campus because if you're paying that much money and they can't figure it out i wouldn't like that education your car has been keyed the good news is that the damage looks to be p minor eh get it get it okay i go now how would you feel about a ban on how are you today questions on the sub sure but let's also ban that how would you feel about insert something most people agree with questions such as yours hey i'm all for it the barnacle has the largest penis in the animal kingdom when compared with its size please stop calling me the barnacle oh god i love danny devito intense porn with beetlejuice but the screen is black and there is no sound 4k gone mexul not actually porn i lied i'm a mad lad my dad ate breakfast at around 11 45 when he finished it was around 12 10 you know what he did next he said oh it's lunch time and just made himself a second bowl of cereal right after the other that is how you get the dead bot joke rule no chef wear d within this server chef boyardee pinned a message oh bullied for furry oh look at that name no just wanted to thank him my good friend christian is a real nice guy he brought me food today thanks christian you're welcome you're welcome someone got the chromebook management password in my district every single chromebook a thousand-plus students now have ppre as their wallpapers and on startup 10 hours of pp screaming plays with of course max volume i just wanted to share before that turns into some type of threat and makes it on local oh my god that's fantastic video not for kids me an 11 year old hey clicky clicky get off the internet you're the ones who caused copper to demonetize most my channel kiddo i am personally subscribed to this man i think you should too he's an amazing artist and he makes me laugh every day last night i opened the windows and let mosquitoes all inside then i closed the windows and slept outside it's called confusing the enemy i mean that's not gonna work but you keep trying kiddo straight up eating corn in class is a mood hey man i've straight up bomb my friend's acting class and that was a great time i pretended like i didn't understand english good times cowabunga it is um can you dm me the link for that image i need to make a meme the top image here yeah go choose wisely the link or rickroll which one could it be only one way to find out cunningham's law in action parody of extremism or stupidity is indistinguishable from real extremism and stupidity that's poe's long [ __ ] hands is the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question it's to post the wrong answer hmm well played you brilliant son of a unmarried couple you mother trucker oh god i love that oh my god today when i was at the store the checker wasn't bagging my whole milk mayo and i coke fast enough there was also a person speaking a foreign language behind me when i asked to see the manager they called me karen my name isn't even karen don't call me karen okay karen you're never flying solo when you have a friend by your side just like butterfree tag a friend below who's always by your side at digimon mad lad hey man he's both a vampire and batman now of course he's gonna know how to fix some stuff dm's are fine she just hasn't responded that hits home twitter why should i have to say that if you correct spelling on a meme you are automatically a d-bag d-o-u-c-h-e bag sir get your memes right english teacher gave us an essay about a free topic i saw my shot and i took it how the death of friends from led to the creation man oh i wish this guy was in my class i actually turned this into my teacher only the fast survive these are so good i love the dinosaur costume serious writers who previously deleted their accounts what prompted you to do so just kind of felt like it i see what you did there it is painful to get electrocuted by the chair just curious i don't know man i'll go try it brb and f remind me one day uh dude dude he's probably dead this woman is manlier than i am and i respect her for that my idiot furry son has one job at night fork at things and make them go away easy right however a bear has learned that my furry son can be bought this is the third time he's been gifted dear bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash and he keeps doing it i mean hey man truce is a truce just gotta respect the game of the bear going to the gas station and spraying the gas everywhere while the cashier frantically hands me crisp dollar bills due to the negative oil prices i don't think this would work but i wanted to oh man can you just imagine pulling up to a gas station and like zoolander type gas fights going on that'd be great yesterday my neighbor told me that i shouldn't use vogel words because those are the words successful people don't use so today i screen mirrored my phone to her tv and showed her gordon ramsay's videos that'll do it i took a crap in my grandma's cat's litter box when i was 13 and my whole family was wilding out to try and figure out why the cat took us huge dump they took us to the vet and we found out she has feline hiv so in a way i helped her the story was wild from start to finish i may or may not have done this as like an eight-year-old but no comment mother sends son to buy groceries he returns with wife ah yes walinkovit oh my god freaking mad lad breaking women in public by respecting their distance and not bothering them i pranked my crush in high school just like this me too buddy me too i i still haven't had a girlfriend man i mean in all fairness this isn't a hentai hazmat even though that'd be funny because has no this is a nahigo face hazmat suit get your facts right lady posting hentai to lose my v card day two of a hundred what when people at the gym told me the hot tub was 16 plus i just lied and said i was 16 i was 15. oh slash mad lads i've done this too respect i don't really see what the big deal is here i mean he didn't technically break the law this right here is 100 true timing is everything with comedy that's why i'm so unfunny you've probably wondered why i've gathered you all here today because we all share the same names precisely 04 24 2021 12 p.m meet at these coordinates we fight whoever wins gets to keep the name everyone else does it to change their name you have a year to prepare good luck josh and josh and josh and josh i will be the only josh left people have read it how is your quarantine going any ideas while staying at home i have a kevlar suit that makes you look like the juggernaut from cod so i've been performing daily tasks in it like cooking and cleaning so if you see a meme about a guy vacuuming off his balcony in a juggernaut suit that's me ah can't wait to hear the notification that a juggernaut is dropped king cobra shed party oh he looks so cute with the little hat little boop snoot what's the best wi-fi name you've seen i plowed jenny landlord's wife i had a friend who had that hated his landlord but the landlord couldn't find out which tenant was broadcasting it the friend had it hooked up to a battery so the landlord couldn't cut off the power to find whose it was this man's a genius and deserves more credit the last thing you ate is what you have to name him will look a bit strange when i'm calling out for your mom oh but look at the cute little papa with his mouth open don't drag him into this lego no [Music] no not kurt cobain no light mode burns my eyes out i see you replied with light mode but what's even funny to me is a pical you got your hair covered in your eyes so i doubt it's getting burnt out i've done this exact thing except with my godzilla puppet and mr elmauer still doesn't know it's me suck it mr el mao if you're watching the go bur mean is the worst meme i've seen in a long time it's it's not funny haha meme go burr ha i microwaved 60 second popcorn for 60.001 seconds step up popcorn man puts hand in molten metal yeah you bet he does except it's covered in water and makes it bounce off i'm a mad lad for ruining the illusion do you have a photo from 2017 run please share thank you here you go i like netflix better than hulu plus ah fair fair i lost to the champ the phrase i lost to a champ is such a weak mindset you are okay with what happened losing imperfection of a craft when you stop getting angry after losing you've lost twice there's always something to learn and always room for improvement never settle i mean honestly yeah dude this is 100 true it's not a mad lad fact it's just truth this is so messed up but i love it because it makes me think of the interview when you accidentally post your meme on r slash terrible facebook memes and it gets 10k upvotes oh poop i left online class two minutes early to watch this video why thank you you should totally subscribe to easy peasy and then you don't have to leave early to watch our amazing videos or just keep leaving all classes and watch our videos on repeat who needs an education when life is easy peasy oh this is absolutely genius and i love them for it but also no no i deleted what this comment originally said now you will never know how i got this many likes i actually did this once on a sonic video and i still get replies to it on the daily mad respect bro mad respect i remember seeing this back in the day no one would message him and then look at him now mad respect dude keep doing you um why is there a pigeon at delhi international airport mind your own [ __ ] business let me tell you not all of us have to fly ourselves i have enough money i can fly business class over here anika i wore a plate doctor mask in a zoom meeting i didn't do that but i used the puppet florida woman accused of leaving porn-filled easter eggs in people's mailboxes those kids are gonna have a great easter i'll tell you what quagmire turns into a toilet some kid just sent this to my whole school district that's that's great good job kiddo i tell my students in my investment class to get on twitter for all the great fin twin content few do it for those that did the answer to question 22 on the final exam tomorrow is b good luck on the rest of the test i have a teacher named mr o gonzalez that does this exact thing and will actually give you the whole test to study with with the answers filled in just just do the work for once kids i am a muslim it's ramadan right now can i masturbate after it oh that's freaking great dude i registered reopen wichita.com and redirected it to the cdc site on cough cough sniffle sniffle 19 just in case some idiots want to start a movement i mean yeah you're doing god's work pal like when people beg for rewards and the replies get in instead like this one no backfired on you pal never gonna let you see my porn history never gonna let you see what i'm into i can't sing for crap redditors who have actually gotten married how did you get your spouse's ring size without making them suspicious just suck on their finger and keep your mouth in the same position until you get to a truly stored edit thank you for the awards and my upvotes my award 30 has officially popped okay this guy is named nathan for you and go look up his tv show he's literally the world's biggest mad lad and he's amazing i'm literally savage af when the vegan twitter community i'm sorry lmao cause stay good af i reported so someone on youtube has to watch this i mean i hope they had a good time the best way to ask me out is to send me this video serena okay oh yes new setup guys if you go to duck dude and he got two monitors in the light up keyboard just go home i mean fair this is what my office looks like these days and i'm still not getting ducked last week my sister came home with a boy she had a huge crush on and while they were in her room i sat outside the door and played this song really loud she was so do you ever race people in your wheelchair yes you usually win yeah if it's another [ __ ] i slash their tires before we start awesome is this the equivalent of like taking a uh crowbot to the knee of a runner how and where did you carry the tv is my question what the frick so funny so laughing that's just an emoji why did i you have a picture of an emoji why not having a picture of an emoji ah so that's how strawberry kush was made this this kid is an absolute genius and i wish i could meet him in real life if men are agreeing with you you said something stupid you are absolutely right lady reddit shouldn't have kids under 18 on it haha i'm a teenager trump i asked if he'd pardon joe exotic from tiger clean netflix series you know what you should and put carol baskin behind bars she killed her husband social experiment outside of time traveling what do you consider cheating in animal crossing please be specific and list as many things you personally feel and or what you've seen other people's shame online don't all say time traveling in your replies i've got that covered i'm looking for other opinions time traveling i heard tom responds to comments never ah you tricked him well i actually really like these movies so i'm just gonna go look up these titles and have a good time i turn off the water in the middle of porn shoot save the environment you are the best porn set pa in the planet sir breaking news kim jong-un has died according to sources in the u.s intel another one bites the dust wow this has been a musical episode i did it for the internet points now it's on me forever i did a ducky wucky for the internet pointy whinies now it's on me forever ever and i've cursed my family to hell why would you do this man can you imagine how embarrassed this one girl must be right now dolphins have returned to the canal of venice meanwhile in chernobyl yes we are back username checks out welp i know what i'm doing for my wedding one day joke's on you cougar you're never getting married you loser yeah that's but true i am a wheelchair user and i'll answer your questions to taboo to ask irl can i make bad jokes or trust to wheelchair people without feeling discomfort why not what are we gonna do run after you i guess not ah this man's a mad lad and i love him for it i mean hey that's the best way to respond to this look at all those marines i think the one is a ripped shirt though i'm sad this only has 64 views my daughter had a zoom class yesterday the teacher's internet went out so one of the kids was made the default host he muted everyone pretending to teach the class and then just said fart over and over until the teacher was able to join back it was amazing my god some of the best comedy has come out of the cough cough sniffle sniffle pandemic and i love every second of it a lot of people think they can burn belly fat by doing crouches or slim their arms down by doing push-ups but targeted fat loss is impossible and there's no evidence to suggest it is yeah ab workouts just build up your core muscle and burn calories the kitchen is where you lose the belly fat noted do abs in the kitchen am mad lad i don't turn on airplane mode in airplanes but i do in helicopters a nigerian man tried climbing onto an airplane's wing to hitch a free ride well i mean did it work any plans today david yeah i'm so busy i just don't know how i'm gonna cope with the excitement ah i see imagine if there's another comment that says his animation still sucks his animation sucks yo can we make a petition to create an annual purge there you go oh yes an answer key at last i can cheat on this t oh son of a k-pop fans spam dallas police snitch app with videos and memes to support protesters thereby spawning future college papers on the intersection between antifa and k-pop arceus uh arcouse i did that okay thanks localizing aurora borealis entirely in my kitchen your username is the universe's hint at the next event of 2020. how disastrous is it well for starters avoid water killer robot fish uh nah i think it'll be business as usual robot or not i got this fisher king 13. all right well we're in safe hands i broke the chain frick face someone post this in another server someone posts us in another server blah blah blah blah blah in my history class we were learning about the amendments one day a kid in our class came in with a tank top on this violated our dress code our teacher said to change his shirt he said that he had the right to bear arms not safe for work how far have you ever gone in a game of truth or dare this is probably when i was like 12 i got dared to pee behind a bush as revenge i dared that person to walk behind the bush barefoot i know i'll get a lot of down votes for this but i don't even know who kobe is i don't watch basketball and no one in my country watches basketball or plays it so i don't know who he is i only know one basketballer which is lebron james and i haven't seen a single basketball match in my life so i don't even care who lebron james kobe or any basketballer is say basketball one more time basketball well he did it if you are a controller player you are bad at everything you touch in life except cheating guess who's crying about aim assist instead of being good unfortunately i work in his hometown at a store that sold his book one of our favorite stories is when he came in asking where to find it and we all pretended like we had no idea who he was and mispronounced and misspelled his name he was not pleased bottleneck your pc at great expense boot windows 10 from an ipod classic have some cake please only take one takes two put it back fat ass looking straight at the camera for one hour one minute and two seconds my god so you're saying they stole your art no that's my id just people are saying that is stolen because it was reposted from my this id so you and planet underscore squawk for the same person i'm so confused uh chunky user yes plain squiff no we are not i'm the only one an original artist ask me on my instagram planet this is confusing town's teen pregnancy spike due to one impressive youth i just want to thank everyone who supported me over the years ah the anatomy of cody thank you cody can't believe it's still march hitting me with confusion for a second scam artist caught police arrested scam artist john young who tricked people into buying some sort of substance which himself named it the elixir of immortality upon questioning the police discover that jon has a criminal record being arrested for the same felony in 2004 1965 1923 and 1866. wait a minute nine-year-old me after saying bad morning to the teacher ah the bad boy what should i do when my cat deflates there's an inflation port right below his tail so should i delete it never delete your posts and comments it's cowardly deleted if this random picture gets 1000 upvotes i will delete my account oh and it was deleted bad ideas copic can't find me because of my location penis enlargement cream and pills thank you doritos you saved my life phew yes yesterday my respirator stopped working luckily i had a bag of doritos next to me and as you know it contains ninety percent air lays are you challenging me this music makes me wanna go downstairs and turn off the light and come upstairs slowly what's one thing about you that makes you different than most people i like to open people's windows at night and put dozens of geese into their rooms while they sleep that is a mad lad for sure i don't know anyone irl who cares but i hit a 500-day streak on duolingo behold my extremely edgy post posting a rhombic which has 120 edges to see how fast the mods are moving it doesn't matter what ethnicity you are you all taste the same please never say this again it doesn't matter what ethnicity you all are if you all taste the same to ward off their evil eye andra farmer puts up sunny leone poster to keep crops safe he says the trick has worked and nobody's looking at his crap now my friend's dad is such a mad lad i tried to face time with my dad and he kept pressing effects and doing this while i'm trying to tell him my feelings what a mad lad in love fenn's fight woman paints fence neon colors after neighbor complains to county please don't spam first first well at least he wasn't spamming it he just sent one i think i could see the latest changing oh yeah look i can't deny this is mad lad behavior but it's also the perv behavior don't don't do that can i get a follow while y'all at it promoted damn it he wants those followers mathias rust german and teenager who flew to red square in 1987 a west german teenager shocked the world by flying through soviet air defenses to land a cessna aeroplane in red square he was jailed for more than a year but a quarter of a century later he has no regrets posting on reddit until i get a girlfriend number 66. two australians named morgan ruig and evan shea fold officials into letting them play in an international golf tournament at north korea's only golf course for five days they were treated as honored guests and taken on official visits around pyongyang before being exposed as frauds due to their poor golfing skills nice i'm sick of all these fake good higher fps videos on youtube 99 of them don't work the only way i've gotten better fps is looking up this program on my computer and deleting it retweet to spread awareness ah yes that worked for me too matt peterson conceived the extreme metal truck after his own bad experience with an ice cream man as a child minneapolis ice cream truck plays extreme metal serves no ice cream what would you do if you found out that everything is made up and the points don't matter improvise adapt overcome weird nose is the biggest thing in the world jesus christ you should see my ding dong someone remake this as a jojo reference here you go someone give this mad lead gold title about king jedwick of poland she was named the king of poland because there were no ruling queens allowed but the rules didn't specify the king had to be male there's no rule in the book that says that giraffe can't play football we got ourselves an ear bud situation my dad has cried twice in his life when his mom died and at the end of charlotte's web you can imagine why the latter one happened ladder maybe she fell off a ladder today i was cleaning up on lake and i decided to go inside the target and some kid was there in a target uniform doing a bit asking people if they found everything okay la mao roses are red violets are blue god made you gorgeous yeah but what the hell happened to you oof size large i'm only 13 and this is legendary oh no all the people that like their own comments seem to get on my level link here's one did you just think right back here no tick tock one out of five stars promoting bad things one out of five stars guys i'm in the grocery store and i lost my mom mom if you find this please find me i'm scared ooh a yearbook quote i lost the game unfortunate i blame pixar for my milf addiction i blame your mom for mine drops mike playing google snake and not doing homework my god notice you're so far behind you might run over yourself i don't know how to use auto clickers so i found an onion that pushed the enter button just enough for my afk farm i am actually only one fish says two fish i feel a little betrayed orange juice boot chug after brushing teeth man badlands chugs more like mad lads chugs i'll see myself out guys guys guys earlier today no joke i jumped over a rock holy cow the longer the syrup is on the pancake the soggier it will become i am my own 69 like nice what's something you've gotten away with as a kid but they're young and don't know what they're doing when you really you knew exactly what you were doing my parents had weird schedules so for school my mom usually packed my lunch in the evening and my dad would give me lunch money in the morning not knowing that i already had lunch packed i continued that scam for a couple of months until i had enough money to buy a wii which is when my parents noticed that they've been tricked by a seven year old but of course they didn't think i did it on purpose penis this is no time to meme please don't ruin the song for all of us thanks penis when he said no one can stop him i paused the video if i hit 16 million subscribers i'll do whatever the top comment on this story says paypal everyone who likes this comment and like this story pineapple tastes great on pizza reply if you disagree damn i see what they did there passing joggers in my motorized porta potty well i gotta check that out after i'm done with this rick rolling is not a bad thing i do it as a profession pubg cheaters trolled by fake cheat software you love to see it i just finished this puzzle that doesn't have a picture this person's a psychopath pilot flies private plane to wales and lands at closed wrath base so he can go to the beach jesus i remember in year two there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long imagine rapunzel basically and she always complained about it but her mom would let her get it cut so one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted to cut to she came in the next day with her hair cut how she wanted it and a smug grin on her face and i knew that girl was going places i want to become a teacher just to accidentally leave my pc open on an exam i will make a file which is named exam solutions and then put this video in it ah yes rn right now yeah people today abbreviate everything because it's too much to type out the full thing i know right roast ten dollars paypal me ten dollars and i'll comment you wtf on your ex's profile picture you know how bad it looks to see an indian reject you e f h it's supposed to be a g i make the rules kid in loving memory of my wife's sense of reason last seen just after we got married in 2006 sadly missed swedish tv accidentally put subtitles from a kid show over a political debate and it's brilliant i will build the best sand castle in the galaxy my brother's ex had been stealing our netflix for the past two months now by disguising our account as settings and honestly i ain't even mad i'm just really disappointed in myself for actually believing that an account name settings would legitimately be netflix settings make a penis ball shaft ball user governor schwarzenegger show yourself you got me i love you he'll be back wish i could give you a silver i got you fam thanks fam get me too no dude got silver for saying no can't blame me for trying i can someone put four skeletons at a table in an arizona lake for divers to stumble across that's amazing i love watching these in bed while my parents think i'm sleeping my personal hero is this girl i went to high school with who turned in sonic the hedgehog for every single art assignment the art teacher hated her and tried to fail her but our principal came in and said she technically followed every assignment's instructions so she couldn't she made a sonic the hedgehog mosaic out of broken glass for one of our finals that's incredible watch a spacex rocket blow up during a board test i played this instead of the rail launch and my parents went crazy often seen as a martyr of the royalist cause favrez was executed for his part in planning against the people of france under the comtadib provence he is known for his last words i see that you have made three spelling mistakes upon the reading of his death sentence warned found this today should i pray for stamina or health your gf wants you to pray for stamina damn the neighbor who has lived directly across the street from the school for about a year took a marker and cardboard and made his own sign uh the sign says shut the f up nice wish you guys did as much work on the game as you do tweets wish you'd stop complaining and shut the hell up damn okay dead by daylight oh very cute night night kitten xx did you just send night at 6 00 am yes pardon me madam i am in dire need of 10 000 to get an office set up with a pc monitor sound system chair and all that good stuff would you be as kind as accepting my offer to be my sugar mommy the always sometimes never sunglass matrix always sometimes never ha so i was watching super nanny and this kid was put in time out so he took a scooter and just booked it good lord super nanny was uh quite the show got suspended from school for four days after this picture was mailed to dozens of parents it was worth it always stay grateful for the king too many taylor swift fans reading this never forget this man made her famous be grateful i 46 male promised my son 18 that his mother and i would match whatever he saved for a car upon his high school graduation he ended up with a lot more than we could have predicted and now we don't know what to do hacked you left yourself logged in at the sprint store timothy nice this song makes me want to break into my neighbor's house toast all their bread and put it back in the bag oh there's nothing more beautiful than the unspoken relationship between the original poster and the guy with the top comment in the post frick you meanwhile in germany a pilot decided to draw the troll face amazing sick of this channel being full of nothing but useless information a solid 10 minutes of useless information the biggest troll award goes to this van oh that's awful can this video get the same amount of likes and dislikes oh that's unfortunate warning this guy was supposed to buy our washer dryer machine for 150 pounds he wanted to see it working first and ask if he could do a load of laundry after he finished she said let me go get the money got in his car and drove her away with his clean clothes i'm sorry blake this is awkward but that's not a police car you vaped in front of a water service vehicle plot twist the weather map wasn't broken i'm gonna like your comments so i'll force you to like your comment to make it seem like you don't like your comments what an evil idea the mad lad does anyone need artificial grass i stole out of my ex-boyfriend's mom's house last night after she chatted crap about my dead nan selling it for one pound but will take any offer going up from five hit me up should have took her wheelchair too sound designer here back in the 90s a friend of mine recorded someone taking a crap i don't know why like the wilhelm scream it became a thing where we try to sneak it into commercials whenever we could i found that one of the farts in the recording made a great sci-fi door opening sound used it twice in this commercial the far is the door opening and you can hear the actual crap as the room contracts when he says up there we smoked a lot of weed back then edit thanks for the silver this song makes me want to play my wii without the strap on i see this person likes to live dangerously why would you talk to your poop oh well i know this is a joke so don't you dare whoosh me our slash woosh listen here you little you all used to think the xbox one was going to be called xbox 720. i didn't forget hi squoof hello hector how was your day just kidding i don't care violation of these rules may be met with a warning a kick a ban if you get banned we will sell all of your personal information on yahoo jesus christ emily awesome one out of five stars this game is very awesome so i give it four stars wait a second france a young man weighs a ps4 in the fruits and vegetables section and pays 9.29 euros huh wait wait wait 100 billion views on minecraft think about the numbers there are 3 billion people on this earth you are one of the stupidest people i've seen in my entire life oh my god the three nine and four keys are so worn down from people pushing them thinking that's the code amazing girl tries to pour acid on x's face when blows it onto hers instead yikes mcdonald's hiring smiling faces for afternoon shits this is al gore's house it uses 20 times as much energy as the average american home 30 thousand dollars a year in utility bills yet he thinks he can lecture you on your carbon footprint using the first letter of your name tell me something that makes you happy alcohol how many movies are on netflix at least 41 okay well that's that's by netflix people drew car logos from memory and the results are hilarious all right but to be fair i would draw the same thing psa please do not park like this that is my car on the right i was contemplating having to crawl across the passenger seat when the woman who owned the car on the left came back i pointed out calmly that she needs to be more aware of the cars around her when parking um you're not even in the lines pal notice we've been informed that from now on black people are not allowed to enter the restaurant for the sake of your health uh consciously notify the local police for medical isolation please understand the inconvenience caused uh hmm trapped on an island what do you bring boat yes boring game can't play for more than five minutes wouldn't recommend it he's had a 945 hours on the game boy did i blow it okay everybody my humblest apologies i forgot that i extended the deadline to friday my bad i'll go and crawl back in my corner and wait for friday in the meantime send my thumbnails anytime you'd like as long as you get them in by friday sincerely your brain dead art teacher bts from the first avenger please stop using bts to gain likes on your photo please stop using our bts k-pop name please stay away from this somebody please explain to me okay there is six percent alcohol in this beer no matter how big it is a regular can of this is the same what's the point of a tall can besides more beer why not drink a smaller beer with the same alcohol like who wants to drink more beer if there's no benefit i fell for this crap never again i'm sorry but the norwegian butter crisis of 2011 just confuses my goddamn brain because how the actual frick does an entire country run out of butter did norway just come downstairs like uh opens fridge i can't read that i was gonna explain how the butter crisis happened but then i noticed your freaking hilarious attempt at writing we've run out of butter i'm not sure if you know but you just basically wrote we drove out of the lubrication and i think that's beautiful i'm sick of the us government i'm moving to california frick the u.s yeah uh hey who wants to tell them canadians think that titanic was a real event and not just a movie how dumb can you be yeah those stupid canadians my cheap ass boyfriend bought himself the full switch and got me the light who cares the point is that he bought you a 200 console as a gift it's his money the fact that he used it to buy you something and you're upset because you didn't get the 300 version speaks volumes i've just convinced my mate that the inside of a cheese grater is in fact a sick new nightclub trippy as frick where is it shortage shall we go yes please imagine being on dmt in that gaff probably freak out i reckon you'd have a great time everybody gangsta until the chicken starts walking but chickens do walk good morning phone found on property and grass if you believe it is yours contact the office you might want to send an email they probably didn't get this text if they don't have their phone what's the craziest reason you had to fire someone a girl called into my husband's work from a number that wasn't her own saying i got carjacked on my way to work so i won't be able to come in all week and i'm calling off my friend's phone cause my phone was in the car so you won't be able to reach me for about a week either as soon as she hung up management called her cell phone that was listed on her file and she picked up saying hey i'm driving who's this no crime 8 a.m to 6 p.m but after that you can do all the crime you want don't worry about it are you white i guess so but you ate at a chinese restaurant you realize chinese restaurants are often used as a local gathering spot for actual chinese people right what makes you think you have the right to barge in there and take up space in a place that should be a safe space for people of chinese heritage they have good noodles that doesn't answer the question do you know what cultural appropriation is we live in a society that is mostly dominated by white people who can use their power to oppress minorities okay well he answered the question they have good noodles um you don't have to be chinese to go into a chinese restaurant i don't know why but the deep loud voice made me think of the freaking narrator on the discovery channel david attenborough he has a freaking name believe it or not uh people who work for big tv programs or big any sort of projects they're people too it's i know it's hard to believe download more ram prank it doesn't work doesn't work pretty much a scam i always thought my phone has too much ram on it and i thought this app would solve it totally not recommended three out of five stars good cookie just don't eat the dough rod made my son and me sick yeah you're supposed to you know bake it i freaked up bad tried to wipe the dye off my forehead and it won't come out tomorrow is my first day back to work freak me today around 5 pm douglas was spooked by a gun shot and ran off we've been searching for him the past two hours with no luck if anyone hears anything please let us know which one is douglas come on oh my god um why do these bunnies have what looks like tape over their mouths oh god you've got to be kidding me you have actually got to be kidding me this is uh a very bad idea a very stupid idea i would like to know how it ended up egypt's ministry of energy cut the electricity of egypt's ministry of water due to unpaid bills in retaliation ministry of water cut off the water of energy ministry sometimes you gotta leave the fake people behind even the baby by 2005 or so it will become clear that the internet's impact on the economy has been no greater than the fax machines nobel prize winning economist paul krugman 1998 they need to invent gloves for your feet because my feet are always cold um ever heard of a sock maximum of 5-3 customers at a time oh man called a restaurant to make a reservation but couldn't think of the words so ask for a food appointment and now i can never show my face there again stop letting your heart and your coochie choose your men i'm confused what is left oh never mind allow my brain you're right sis lol you was right you really forgot your whole brain she read this post with her coochie just checking is the garden bin collection back as normal yes brenda it is middle finger just checking brenda is that the emoji you wanted to send it was meant to be a thumbs up but i may have read i may have the wrong glasses on sorry if it was offensive oh my goodness i've just had another proper look really sorry seriously brenda don't worry about it you've brought tears to my eyes after a weird couple of weeks it's good to laugh well this is just wholesome oh boy uh asia russia question marks mexico africa wtf is this texas oh boy how do i report a business that is non-essential and isn't following orders try the get guest to po app thank you i taught my daughter the truth about flat earth and the other day we were in the toy shop and she spots a globe first thing she said was what is this nonsense why does the toy shop preach lies please be parody please be parody gluten free chocolate chip cookie this product contains gluten wait my husband your husband you know it baby much love for my gorgeous wife this is cute i'm happy for you and let me let you finish but just found a weird green lemon is that a lime and i'm an idiot and this is where rockstar will always stay ahead of ubisoft when it comes to open world details even in the older gta whenever you'd get a car busted so bad the hood came off there'd be an engine you actually saw the a-rendered engine and with ubisoft's watchdogs too no engine nothing a whole this is beyond lazy i'm not one for nitpicking but you gotta realize as a developer that there are people out there that will notice [ __ ] like a car injured missing from a car oh my freaking god let me explain you kid the freaking engine is in the back of the car why would the engine be in the back you want the car to go forward so the engine has to be in the front if it's in the back it'll just go backwards please be joking oh my god i just have 80s music playing in my head right now it's weird i didn't think i remembered these songs from guardians of the galaxy oh wait i have headphones change.org make gyms essential in georgia but they're not essential though you can work out at home away from people thank you i would rather be half right than half wrong you do realize that if you are half wrong you are also half right color name white um wait a minute flat earther died after launching himself with a homemade rocket ah yes natural selection so how's everyone else's home projects coming along kitty door install lol i hate myself why would you put it oh man come on hong kong that is not where hong kong is lady my friend started talking about this guy and referred to him as the hot chicken guy yup that's that's what that's what he's known for nothing else honestly i hate pics like this it ruins the illusion of the film so much you are quite literally in a sub called movies in the making if you hate behind the scenes shots why are you here i'm bored i'm chalk we should get together bored like i don't have anything to do not bored like a chalkboard learn to spell check oh god i hope you don't breed same she did all the homework did she do it in a piece of paper if she did can you please take a picture of it and send it to me yes okay thanks i want to be able to make her present on the attendance there's always books on raz kids that were assigned to her well someone broke into our house while we were sleeping and deleted it oh no yeah they did broke into our house that's not good people who think iphone is better clown emoji your profile picture is you with an iphone oh yeah you're right how about that the truth is just so damn obvious 5g cell tower weaponized 5g bat vaccine-based 5g chemtrail beam covet 19 mind control beam new world order 5g activated nano surveillance rolls 50 most popular women on the web per google search results lady gaga kesha madonna beyonce rihanna britney spears justin bieber and miley cyrus yep all women oh no why is the keyboard like that why were they not obvious enough to you which ones they were can you not read you need some glasses also why is the intel sticker all the way up there kkk leaders started stabbing each other over argument about who's the most racist wow is this please tell me this is like an onion article right braun got himself a stalker that's the same game if wireless pcs existed we could literally take them anywhere and use them to be even more productive than having to plug it into a socket all the time you mean a laptop i think i said pcs very clearly people who left reddit what was your reason for leaving um they're not there anymore on april 19th 1995 a man robbed a bank with lemon juice on his face as a disguise since he knew lemon juice could be used as invisible ink he figured it would make his face invisible on cameras boy what a [ __ ] hello yes i found your friend's phone could you tell your friend i found it who the person whose name is at the top of the screen okay thanks no problem hey kaden it's me adam somebody found your phone have a good day bruh are you samantha i have a bf go away i found your wallet you left it by the counter at work and i found your number through one of your business cards oh that's awesome can we meet up so you can return it i have a gf go away winter testing on lrt vehicles was conducted indoors lrt system plagued by problems during first winter in service do you think it's easier being male or female yes no 30 plus photos that make us question the human race yeah i'm definitely questioning it if you deal with computers stick to computers don't go messing with our immune systems trying to plant microchips into our bodies mark of the beast i don't accept it congratulations you just earned mastered an n-word uh uh if your wife's mother-in-law looked like this would you fricker bruh your wife's mother-in-law is your mom that's basically asking if you would freak your own mother just having mother-in-law would have sufficed not wife's mother-in-law whoever made this as an idiot just thought you should know la mao you'll do great things you're a natural guaranteed delivery 4119 never showed up review posted on 4819 i'm so lost isn't nfl just for the us how does new england have a team man that that facepalm went around the world my girlfriend just asked what no means on the switch um octopus steals my video camera and swims off with it did you get your camera back no he didn't the octopus took the camera home and uploaded this video on youtube woman stand woman go man stand mango orange no hey man is your phone turned off yup damn text me when it's on they always make pit bulls have friendly as a default trait pivotal propaganda proves games are trying to murder children uh multiple choice question plato dies in 334 bc how long ago was that true or false yeah this is big brain time great but it thinks i'm 2 to 12 years old i'm definitely older than 2 and younger than 12 please fix the sap bus driver had to submit urine sample after being caught for drug abuse he borrowed his wife's urine turns out he tested positive for pregnancy so i have a delivery here knock on the door in here who is it psychic readings a kid born in 2010 is now 18 years let that sink in i never thought i would need to explain a basic math but since we're here a kid born in 2010 now is 2018 so you add the 10 to 8 equals 18. simple math so the kid is 18 years in 2018. simple she doing that r kelly math picture of dinosaurs in bengaluru real or not read to find out that is a frame from jurassic park the moon is not a rock in space the moon has its own light source rocks don't reflect light neither does the moon i like how you can clearly see the rock reflecting light why does this case have removed protective film wren all over disappointed maybe you should uh remove it iphone 11 pro max price in the united states of america us dollar 1000.99 price in brazil our dollar six one one nine fifteen that's expensive why you put our dollar that's for robux and roblox before you ask yes i just rick rolled myself what is the model number and serial number of the device you can find it rear panel of the device macbook air 13-inch 2017 c02vq0 kz j1 wk is it samsung mac macbook air it's an apple macbook air viruses don't exist 5g death science is their license plate i'm gonna have to ask you to get new license plates this dude's wearing diving gear with the tank in the store dude come on cop tried to shoot this dog for barking but he accidentally shot himself instead nice hello my name is single tom holland's single after breakup wait what you're single after you break up so fake there are no real images in this video all cgi and paintings seps is fake research close ups with nikon p900 cameras those are real images just lights in the sky you could also look at a fish two meters under the surface of water and come to the conclusion fish are shapeshifters hello class we have a short spring holiday coming up april 10-12 take a break bruh isn't that the freaking weekend if everything closing because of the stock market collapsing close but it's the exact opposite the stock market is crashing because everything is closing what's the stupidest animal to live on earth you are you're the most stupid animal to live on earth op turns out stupidest is a word also turns out that i'm the stupidest animal to live on earth please carry on folks which fast food restaurant has the subway club hmm subway or jersey mikes i can't remember i genuinely don't understand yeah they swapped doors um food that starts with x watermelon and swordfish yup it's a good time for you to travel take a vacation um i don't know about that one installed on the ceiling do not remove a deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mailboxes it was the mailman what jumped off thief without one leg runs away from cops i love my brazil you know who's been buying up all the toilet paper carol baskin this is not a funny picture so tired of the bashing of our president hey cindy not bashing trump it's a picture of the guy from tiger king on netflix tokyo express chinese food to go um tokyo's not in china oh my god uh why is there a truck in the water i would like to know all electromagnetic waves travel at the same speed true or false there's no false why my popsicle looks like his sinuses acting up they hate the hood oh no oh the mug is upside down oh please turn it around oh god why are nintendo codes so long guys my code doesn't work anymore oh boy good going walmart hiring homeless hungry anything helps warheads alcohol-free hand sanitizers that is not safe this is not a food item then why are you warheads why are you making a sanitizer water is oxygen for dolphins mind-blowing my mom you ain't getting no apple laptop use this 10 seconds later me turns on windows windows my mom works better than apple isn't windows from the apple company or am i dumb my ta fully set her friend died and began to cry on zoom and the professor responded by saying that's why we still have assignments to get our mind off tragedy sir what hello [ __ ] huh don't hum me if you talk to my girlfriend like that ever again you'll get to see the demon inside me don't mess with me i will ruin your life your normal mate reveals teeth showing four big fangs what are you laughing at little boy uh you harder now man somebody born in 2020 will see the year 3000 when they're 80. that's wild i've just coughed in an xbox party chat and someone said oh frick no one left they sound smart okay okay i would pay big money to see him put that on if one of his other tires went flat washing hands causes more harm than good we have super bugs created due to soap the government only makes people wash hands because monsanto and dial paid for fake studies that said washing hands is good you don't need to wash your hands outside of showers unless you get poop on them maybe people like him people like him are the reason this is so bad breakfast just got a lot more fun oh whoops latitude lines stretch across earth horizontally or vertically wrong vertically well it is buzzfeed you can't expect too much of them so as i'm walking into walmart and p.o some ignorant a-hole threw a box of frozen fish fillets at me and screamed and pushed me until he knocked my phone and wallet out of my hands then he got drilled right in the mouth why you ask because of my trump t-shirt freaking idiot feeling the burn now with your freaking lip split and probably in jail jackass here's my shirt so you can laugh as much as i am yeah you are god no regrets trump was reportedly saved from tweeting tom hanks had died from coronavirus after officials misunderstood what being discharged from the hospital means holy crap the bar is set so low it's insane well we didn't close our pubs in the blitz 60 000 people killed then what happened to our nation yeah but you didn't catch bombs on a handrail walk about with it for a week and then kill your grandpa you freaking a-hole it's not sarcasm anyone who drives a non-american-made car like a tesla should be ashamed of themself tesla incorporated is an american electric vehicle and clean energy company based in palo alto california pwned undercover cops posing as drug buyers are arrested by undercover cops posing as drug dealers man the taxpayer's gonna watch some kooky stuff keep calm and buy tissues not toilet paper you're gonna get a runny nose not a runny bum hey depends on how often we're eating taco bell huh a man who had thousands of pounds of work equipment stolen from his van was amazed when he went into a slough police station to report it and was told to call the police oh are you kidding me this barber is giving away condoms with his business card to promote his company now please tell me you see what's wrong with this terrible business model encouraging protection prevents new customers they would otherwise have in just nine months never mind i just saw the staple the sun has never seen a shadow if you'd stayed in the shower a bit longer you'd have realized the sun has never seen anything and if you'd stayed even longer than that you would have realized that the sun isn't real i wish we could get a big enough group of people to say frick this crap and just go back to doing things as normal they can't arrest everyone why do there have to be so many sheeple let me guess you hate apple and you love dr oz megalodon the shark that lived about 60 million years ago how did he live 60 million years ago if the earth is only 20 20 years old well he lived in the sea not earth oh ow my head people with coronavirus how does it make you feel to see all the memes about it man they're in quarantine how do you expect them to respond to this question their computer look i'll give them a pass on that one i have said stupider things so the company we pay our rent to sent out a very condescending mass email to all tenants about paying rent and forgot to bcc all emails and now all the tenants have started a rent strike oopsie doopsies speaking russian yeah thanks for the translation fox someone's having a fun day at work she got that ptsd or whatever that post-traumatic down syndrome uh excuse me could you run that by me one more time about to play some ps4 i'm not your typical girl oh honey alright so we got a standard tv schedule the big met theory and how i bang your mother don't dead open inside i found this on my daughter's phone she's 16 and vaccinated herself is this a pro satan propaganda i thought this was supposed to be face palm and not make me suffer police in turkey blast a pride parade with water and accidentally create a rainbow oh they did it they played themselves my boss turned herself into a potato on our microsoft teams meeting and can't figure out how to turn the setting off so she was just stuck like this the entire meeting married pilot couple reveals what it's like to share a oh oh i see are they sharing his or do they have a third that they share hello hi send me pig okay i mean your pigs okay no man your full body pig there it is bravo is it vegan to go fishing is it ethical to catch bugs is tom nook exploiting you okay first of all shut up peta second of all of course tom nook is exploiting me department of transportation introduces padded bumper lane for intoxicated drivers are you kidding me why are we wasting money on something that illegal in the first place stupid agreed it's it's from the onion guys it's the onion this is you know what whatever it's facebook tell me why my parents have been putting this in their tea it's hair conditioner hey it probably tastes really good just let them live their lives occupy mars elon can i assume that you know that the mars in your occupy mars tweet is actually an image of the full moon during a lunar eclipse but the image on my shirt is mars for real oh my god potato potato nerd total amount due one dollar u.s postage a dollar twenty and whatever man microwaves 1.8 million krw of korean banknotes in order to disinfect it due to the spreading virus loses most of his money instead yeah uh wow are you sure that's the right word like 80 sure yeah print it amphibious pitcher makes debut oh you were so close some countries use the metric system and others have been to the moon but nasa uses the metric system yeah because nasa is smart this sheep escaped a farm and spent six years in the mountains during which time he grew 60 pounds of wool wolves tried to eat them but their teeth couldn't penetrate the floof moral of the story you don't have to turn hard to survive the wolves just be really really soft and fluffy look at that poor bastard shave him he's probably dying in there so basically mcdonald's new ads are just showing what will happen to your heart if you keep eating their food great advertising grab them at crash cart because you're about to mccode hashtag mcfarchion i'm living it i'm loving it oh man i am not going to read any of that a bible store in kansas really didn't understand the meaning of the quote the best cure for christianity is reading the bible mark twain [Laughter] come on that's sweet justice i need someone to look at me like this have you watched the movie oh man she looks like overly attached girlfriend governor rejects state lockdown for covet 19. mississippi's never going to be china mississippi now has the nation's highest covet 19 hospitalization rate man i can't believe they got larry david to write april 2020. to those who are buying up and hoarding all of the toilet paper hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes y'all do realize that if we can't get any you'll still be interacting with those of us who still need to clean our homes and wipe our butts right come here and shake my hand youtuber who licked public toilet seat now claims he's tested positive for coronavirus oh no i feel so bad for you laughing cow cheese huh i bet that cow wasn't laughing when you slaughtered it huh you don't you don't kill a cow to make cheese wait wait are we not are we not supposed to do that apparently the city of la notified people of their negative coved results in a mass email but didn't bcc anyone so all 200 plus recipients could see the names of everyone else who got tested which is a huge privacy violation oh oof khloe kardashian gives birth to a female girl thank god it wasn't a male girl i wonder what type of plastic it was made out of joker without makeup that's really disrespectful he was clearly injured in some sort of a way may it be a war or what have you he's probably so depressed that his face is scarred like this he has to wake up every day seeing his own face why would you make fun of him like this screw off seriously anyone who would make fun of this is just messed up i actually think he's still more attractive than like half the guys out there even with his face like this you guys do realize that this is literally the joker without makeup right this is heath ledger in the dark knight in a scene where he's hiding in a group of policemen don't waste your keystrokes it's tumblr my friend if his name starts with jay he's probably satan i think jesus would like to have a good word with you not only has japan's minister of cyber security never used a computer he admitted to parliament that he doesn't know what a usb drive is yep that sounds like government to me are you home yes babe take a picture with a spoon on top of your head why to prove your home okay wait here you go hmm what you could have taken that yesterday quite easily why would i take a picture with a spoon on top of my head yesterday i don't know really good guess how the heck do they not realize they hung it up sideways homegirl looked like she snatched up the baby and flew away honestly that's pretty great homosexuality didn't exist until video games did ah yes greeks my favorite gamers [Laughter] do not speak german here as long as you only speak english you're all right it's not an attack it's a logical statement based on a single accusation why the hell did you censor the word german because of gendered language and i suggest you censor it too ah yes because ger woman is a word or your person stop now you are literally saying that german a word referring to a language is a gendered word stop using gendered language is it really so difficult to use german and make people feel more secure and safe i think this is the only one that's actually going to cause me to face pom evangeline lilly says she won't self quarantine because she values freedom over her life oh no the poor multi-millionaire doesn't want to stay at home we're giving children free health care we're giving them free food free emotional support that's dangerous that's communism when you think about it fox news guest children don't deserve free food because that's communism yeah man screw kids they suck mother sue's hospital after sun turns gay from flu shot no they got him with the sneaky gay juice huh rain leaves many indiana farmers well behind in planting why is there a need for farmers growing corn and soybeans when most people can go to kroger's or albertsons to get the groceries anyway oh aren't you just adorable this dog saved his family in a fire for every share facebook will donate a dollar to get his face fixed there's just a piece of ham on his face grandma are you sure i let go she's got a double check trump just said seoul has 38 million people in it that's such an oddly wrong and yet specific number so i did a google search for seoul elevation 38 meters yup yup that sounds about right i stayed at work for you you stay at home for us doctors and nurses plead with the public to listen to them propaganda i hate freaking doctors and nurses so much don't come to the hospital just cause i'm lazy and want you guys to die time for doctors to legitimately earn a paycheck for the first time in their lives the frick they gonna work on if people stay at home there it is there it is the single worst take i have ever heard who's your favorite north american hip-hop artist north american drake's from canada it's up north but not america oh you sweet summer child missouri is doomed dude just said that we should keep schools open so that teenagers don't get pregnant please send help dude's just mad he ain't getting any critical space flight hardware do not touch gee thanks mr vice president millennials are replacing engagement rings with diamonds embedded in their fingers no the hell we aren't yeah i agree why does this photo remind me of some kind of extreme sport how did people in the middle ages know what skeletons look like without x-ray machines edit i forgot about dead people yeah yeah dead people i'm glad you figured that part out you can call me leonardo da vinci because i'll make you mona lisa what like mona lisa but okay man your talent's not appreciated there time to move on because of panic buying face masks i crocheted this for my grandson it's so simple but i thank god for this hmm toilet paper aisle empty but the vitamin isle to boost your immune system full monkey see monkey do hey i take my vitamins like a good little monkey which politician or anyone would be the best president for our country that country being north america that's a continent not happy i waited 10 minutes for one egg and bacon mcmuffin at 9 14 p.m to top off my visit i pushed on a poll door which made it even more unpleasant nothing like given a bad rating because you are stupid florida man steals 33 000 worth of rare coins cash is the minute coinstar machine for 29.30 well yeah he looks like the genius type one time i was late to practice and the coach made me run laps my dad was the coach and he drove me to practice honestly that just sounds like a hilarious dad thing to do also i've been hearing birds next to my window at night i went outside yesterday and saw there's a nest with some bigger bird bringing them food must be some sort of charity bird or something bringing them butterflies to eat i wish i could send you a pic to see if you could identify it a charity bird you mean their parent that's it from now on i'm referring to my mom as the charity human chicken can't afford an umbrella so she uses her wings to keep her chicks out of the rain can't afford it's a chicken i wonder if people on the date in 1955 thought omg this is the day marty went back in time too no they didn't the movie didn't come out until 1989. i know that it came out in 1989 not 1959 not 2015. i'm not stupid i'm just saying i wonder if a lot of people were talking about it back in 1955 like we are today are you sure about that i'm not stupid part they couldn't have known about back to the future in 1955. you weren't there you don't know it didn't come out in 2015 and we're all talking about it now it's just as likely they were talking about it in 1955 too butthead yeah i would have had a lot more words for that person than just butthead only three people showed up for organized rally for quarantine end in brazil good good thank you jesus 3 p.m friday louisiana governor john bel edwards announces the closing of all schools for a month to help prevent the spread of eight hours later bourbon street what you don't think they're gonna risk a little virus for their beads i gotta get them beads okay little did they know that the corona beans were the cure all along my boyfriend just said hey and i yelled must be the money because i did not realize that he had just started a zoom conference call oof baltimore mayor begs residents to stop shooting each other so hospital beds can be used for commerce patients isn't it beautiful what we can come together as a people to accomplish my son hangs out with an autistic kid sometimes and i don't want him to start taking after him and becoming autistic how can i nip this problem in the bud you know maybe there's a good reason donkey shouldn't talk family dinner why is he alone oh i don't have the time nor the crayons to explain this to you just received an amber alert on my phone google it and it means that somebody got abducted near my area what the heck hashtag aliens see now that would be one hell of an april fool's prank it's unattractive to me when a man has never been to jail before you're not even a man yet ah yes i apologize for not committing crimes there has never been a time where vietnam hasn't been a thorn in someone's ding-dong it's like the afghanistan of asia sir do you know where afghanistan is well he clearly doesn't know much hi i am name reductions friend i'm a bit worried about dating a single mother but i've seen your pictures and you are incredible amazing eyes your figure wow hi wow thanks for the compliment i guess i'm a bit worried about dating a guy who's a bit worried about me being a single mom not a great opener to be honest i'll pass good luck to you just like that yeah i'm not hard up for company take care oh okay sure guys chase you now sexy thing just wait until you're 35 and no one wants you oh sweetie i'm 35 right now my husband had a letter from the government today advising him that he is at risk from because of an underlying condition personally i'm pretty sure he's safe since he's been dead for nearly four years oh i'm so sorry guys i did it i placed thirst in the race la mao guess who's still the oldest and greatest country and build the largest structure on earth man you uh you got everything wrong didn't you richard branson's space flight costs about 1.5 billion dollars instead he could have given every american 1 million dollars attacks the rich given the number of homeless people in this country we need to focus on taking care of them before we open up our borders no one ever actually takes care of homeless they only use them as an excuse why not to help anyone should olympians be removed from team usa if they fail to respect the national anthem or the flag yes it's team usa that's the liberian flag plus-sized women admit they aren't attracted to overweight men hold on how come the women get to be plus-sized but the men are overweight men aren't funny and every time i've actually laughed at a man's joke i was actually laughing at him not with him cars be like florida cop claims burger king put dirt on his food investigation reveals it was seasoning i bet this guy's really good at solving crimes who's winning this fight magneto or iron man did you forget what magneto's superpower is lol bro he's made of iron not metal a guy says he was questioned on a plane for doing math during a flight a woman sitting next to the ivy league economist told flight crews she had security concerns about the man after seeing him write in a foreign script it turned out to be a differential equation angry football fans tried to snatch the flag of the bulgarian embassy in london because it has the same colors as the italian flag first ten people to post their social security number gets one thousand dollars in an autographed donald trump rookie card uh oh oh no how's your monday unknown social media manager person i think i'm depressed lamal hi vicky here managing director of socials for amazon prime video i get you all right vicky indian school had wrong heisenberg pick as scientist and why google search is to blame fifty percent larger than a half gallon so it's a gallon then okay thanks for telling me the sliding door company uh those look like pull doors to me we are raising one thousand pounds for prince george the ocean is thirsty this farmer finds that paying higher wages attracts a local workforce huh what a concept i don't know who carly ray jepson is hey i just met you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe girl i'm not a girl stop hitting on me i alright damn it birmingham loving you is sometimes hard to handle there's literally one place that it is inappropriate to remember this woman and you found it i teach special needs students and a lot of them are non-verbal so i thought it'd be helpful to teach them simple asl and my principle shut it all the way down smh christians against dinosaurs so if dinosaur bones have been kept untouched for millions of years underground and are in such great condition why do museums need plaster and wires to keep them together did the dinosaurs also need plaster and wire your bones wouldn't stick together on form if your flesh was gone do you have proof of that claim it continues to amaze me how stupid and brainwashed young people are sure smoking may not be good for you but it's not near as bad as living your life with your eyes attached to your smartphone woman gets its coming home tattoo five days before england final oh no a sentence spoken in turkish we speak english here nobody knows what the you're saying it's r slash turkey though you're the first person ever to win two olympic tennis gold medals that's an extraordinary feat isn't it i think venus and serena have won about four each why do straight people get to get pregnant for free but gay couples have to pay to have a kid this is horrible this is homophobic are you [ __ ] dumb deli police use water cannon against uh name party workers protesting against daily government over water crisis hmm inflation's silver lining higher salaries the upside to inflation oh no oh man these tweets from jack's films upset me very much i privated yesterday's jackass because aaron asked me to after seeing comments about her wait why anyone would say that as though we don't read the comments is beyond me you made my wife cry great job please unsub unfollow whatever we don't want you i can't think of a more passionate witty beautiful giving person than my wife thank you for ruining her day now go report back to your insult forums he held back no punches and that's perfectly fine to me we're hiring part-time and full-time servers serve people greeters greet people line cooks cook people food no it's not people it's food any company that touted their frontline workers as heroes during the pandemic but refused to give them a permanent raise should be fined for false advertising they gain an increase in profit by portraying their employees as essential and important but gave them none of it the palestinians in this town are out of control illegally blocking traffic i don't that's not that not the palestinian flag 13th tattoo ooh perfect otherwise really fits the placement but damn you walked right into that one uh you forgot to use the burner account to comment this lol we're giving children free healthcare we're giving them free food free emotional support that's dangerous that's communism when you think about it [Music] is pink panther a lion say that again but slower i don't get it he's the pink panther okay but is he a lion mack angel light of my life he's a panther is that a kind of lion no it's a panther i just googled they are not pink and lions are just found out white people exist just found out asian people exist that's racist you started it samsung smartphone selling my phone can't show it because i used it to take the pictures it's exactly this long and this wide thanks i know exactly the dimensions and length of your fingers fluoride there is poison in the tap water my man you're smoking a cigarette please when using the stairs stay to the right when going up stay to the left when going down this will keep people from running into each other wow there are 21 million penguins in antarctica and the population of ireland is 6.6 million so if all of the penguins in antarctica decided to invade ireland each person would have to fight off over 3 million penguins you sure america isn't perfect but it's closer than any other society in human history has ever been it is easily the most free country to ever exist as well as the leader in healthcare and essentially every other industry there's a tree working hard to make oxygen for you apologize to it so our local children's hospital recently redecorated but i'm not too sure they really thought things out great i do a price comparison why every spanish person i know got an uncle named tio y'all going to tell him or y'all want me to why do ball earthists deny the existence of water mountains i'm almost scared to ask but what's a water mountain water mountains are what ships disappear behind in the sea ball earthists are just too stupid to recognize them or acknowledge them so they claim it's evidence of a ball earth do you have any evidence of these water mountains have you ever seen a ship disappear water mountain what the [ __ ] are you talking about socialism is cancer the only thing that can solve black poverty is black capitalism capitalism ain't solved white people's poverty the it's gonna do for us i'll just let them hash this one out mithridates six was so paranoid of being poisoned that he took small doses throughout his life to build up an immunity when he was finally captured by the romans he tried to kill himself with poison but failed because he was immune that sucks i think it's pretty gross people breastfeed it's not milk it's body fluids might as well feed your little one your pee we have bottles and formula that's meant to feed your baby stop giving your body fluid a classy name by calling it milk it's not milk milk comes from cows it's almost like saying almonds make milk idiots everywhere should i pee on my dog to show dominance excuse me the idea of walking up to your dog and urinating on it as a sign of dominance while it makes logical sense in your mind it's generally a myth and won't work as intended dogs use urination as a way to assert dominance within a territory but this doesn't include doing it to a pack member oh the things that i have to read one time this girl really hated me and wanted to ruin my reputation or something so one day i was talking to a boy and she came up and really obnoxiously said you know she has a crush on you right and he was like man i hope so or else this is going to get really awkward she told my boyfriend that i liked him earth half day and half night as seen from space i wonder how cool it would be if someone was in the middle of these halves what do i have to do to live right in the division between night and day imagine being in a place half day and half night i don't see the afternoon part must be insane to live on the border and how would those who live on the border whoever's in the middle of day and night must be thinking this is crazy for those who live right in the middle of that line is it going to be afternoon forever look how crazy it is to the person who lives right in the middle gets out at night and goes to the day very cool to live near that division you get bored of the day go to the night i wonder if there's someone who lives right been i'm sorry i don't have to read all these out but they're funny it's been a year since the last time i announced this so i think it's time for my yearly update psa we do not pee out of our vagina thank you for coming to my ted talk see you next year well you probably don't do it out of your arses though you do talk a lot out of there and that leaves the vagina unless there is a third hole somewhere for the p to come out of oh god what does this shirt say the only time this patriot takes a knee is to suck a hero officer's amen i am not gay and homosexuality is a sin it says to in the bible but if i have to honor the strength and courage that police officers possess every single day then i will they risk their lives every day to protect and serve the community i will not hesitate to orally service a man in uniform they deserve it yeah why don't you suck on their boots while you're at it white american men are terrorists who was the first country on planet earth to ban slavery that's right america and who fought and died to do that right white american men you are wrong portugal 1761 great britain 1772 denmark 1788 france 1848 haiti 1794 spain 1824 chile 1825 mexico 1829 british empire 1833 south africa 1834 netherlands 1863 the united states 1865 cuba 1886 brazil 1888 not even the top ten ah yes she didn't put a trigger warning for flashing lights again you guys get triggered by lights uh epilepsy i mean just close your eyes am i right i'm sorry why are there no night museums there are three movies explaining what happens at night to the museums you know what they are right why the buck is there zero candle it's not like you could turn zero years old dumb bunny a laughing emoji laughing emoji well real quick you can turn 10 but i guess you didn't learn how to count that high because you went to public school oh my god she's about to hit 1 billion followers what the [ __ ] my question is why isn't she following anybody i mean come on man i put out some solid content order three ways personally i'd order a three-way from wendy's before mcdonald's because they have the fresh meat my son brought a 5g phone into my house how can i get a court order that forces him not to use it or you know just kick him out like my parents did to me google rewards you've made the 5 billionth search congratulations you are today's lucky user just give me your social security and your credit card number and you can claim your prize yep totally going to do it in 1847 robert linston performed an amputation in 25 seconds operating so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistant's finger as well both patient and assistant leader died of sepsis and a spectator reportedly died of shock resulting in the only known surgical procedure with a three hundred percent mortality rate congratulations mr robert linston you owed a record own a record i can't speak today was abe lincoln real as someone who went to public school i can tell you for sure no he's not real and my question is how many photos of lincoln exist why do you need to know that interesting that act blue raised an average donation of 38.38 this would imply people are donating in uneven numbers including pennies which would be odd why why would that be odd or it would indicate untraceable foreign donations and an exchange rate translation which would be illegal i don't know if this is legal or not but why can't people donate pennies i do it all the time adam and eve were straight white males not chinese idiots eve was a straight male huh yes oh okay looks like i've been reading that book wrong my whole life why office air conditioning is sexist all right then a strange creature that tastes like almonds has been dug up in russia why the [ __ ] would you taste it because you're in mother russia you'll dig something up you'll taste it potato taste old grenade taste bones we give them a good licking when i say asia what country comes in mind girl europe anybody know what khan octopus this is found it in kn australia i don't know mike but that thing looks really poisonous and based on the upvotes you're probably gonna die cough cough sniffle sniffle library books rearranged in size order by cleaner dude i hope this guy doesn't get fired he was just trying to do a good job and probably thought this was a good idea don't fire him library well this marathon runner ran boston strog in her fitness app if i have to read strog one more time i'm probably gonna have a stroke myself random woman make song in portuguese freddie dread hippity hopping the song is my property this is brazilian you do realize that brazilian isn't a language right they speak portuguese in brazil all right then that right there is perfect placement of that bridge don't want to get it wet near the water at all what weighs more a gallon of water or a gallon of butane the water butane is lighter fluid hey buddy there's a uh there's a little tab there that's meant for opening the can you don't need this yeah this is inaccurate some of us learn plants breathe in co2 you go carbon neutral and you kill plant life lol i know that elo is isn't ironic but i god i hope it is should cardi b face consequences for drugging and robbing men yes yes she should just like a man should how can i help tell me a joke what do cats eat for breakfast i don't know me neither well but where are you from though oh chili i mean where do you live chili it's not even funny what's your problem i'm from chile that's my problem i'm always cold a chinese thief snatched a woman's phone and ran into a nearby building to escape the building turned out to be a police station oof rip buddy if i want banana bread i don't really want a chocolate taste with it too bad i didn't realize that before i spent the time to make this bread well you know what maybe you should have read it before you made the banana bread colorblind quiz are you apparently no and yes at the same time ah yes good at coloring in those lines aren't you buddy ah my favorite pastime staring at us black screen and then this guy's just staring at the one girl what are you doing with your life buddy get out of here the truth is not conspiracy there's literally a curve in this pic yup this picture explains itself i'm meaning this russian chocolate and it made a rallying noise when i shook it and there's a horse magnet inside russian kinder surprise that looks like it's made of coal it tastes like coal you ate a vase honestly at this point meeting a small vase is the least of my problems in russia sometimes when their horse dies they cremate it and make a vase out of the ashes thus the cold taste in picture inside he ate a dead horse's ashes and mistook it for chocolate i guess you could say he was so hungry he could eat a horse yep because he did toilet only for disabled elderly pregnant children finally why does this dude look like oliver tree okay here's my question did the plane hit the van or the van hit the plane i was born in the wrong century take me back please um the century doesn't dictate what you wear dude ding dong ah yes disney is truly taking over the world now woman who lost limbs after dog lick still loves her and you're about to lose your face sweetheart there's just so much wrong with this photo so much wrong spread anarchy don't tell me what to do you're not my real wall graffiti dad form a sentence in the past continues by moving the puzzle this this one hurts my brain this one really hurts my brain hi good morning please don't drink bleach or disinfectant of any type currently have three in ed that drank the trump kool-aid overnight severe esophageal burns lung damage please say that you weren't joking sorry i'm not people are stupid gut doctor i beg americans to throw out this vegetable now what like an avocado with an egg on it or something i don't know i want my first daughter to be a girl i want you to get off the internet ball doesn't hold water but a flat ball does that's why earth is flat the kids blame the footprints on the dog i mean there is one dog footprint in all fairness anytime someone sees a fortnight pfp people are like bro you still play fortnite you're jay you're a virgin etc can i not enjoy playing a game without getting all this hate imagine judging people by the game they play imagine i know so immature did you just comment on your own comment from an alternate account that has the same pfp mad lad four twos is still ten it's actually only eight but wait wait let's do the math here 42 4 times two is eight so that's eight and 42 plus 66 is a hundred and eight therefore it is still in it i don't know i'm conspiracy theorist when flowers and chocolate just won't fully convey how you feel about her [ __ ] [ __ ] you fine bring that monkey over here and let me slap hey guess what sad face what my goldfish drowned sad crying face oh i'm sorry i never even knew you had a goldfish sad face yeah it's sad wait goldfish can't drown i'm watching you pal how old were you when you found out goofy was actually a cow and not a dog snitch i was today years old my childhood is ruined why is gwyneth paltrow selling a candle that smells like her vagina i don't know do you think it smells like pepper or perhaps pots or perhaps pepper pots guinness book of records is racist for this behavior it's a fact you idiot wow totally useless app as far as i'm concerned the main reason to have this app is to play the games not merely talk about them app really should be called steam community or steam friends oh and you can use the app to buy more games that you guessed it you can't play natively on your device better off just using a computer buck buck no buck i'm dead buck how do you delete crap on gmail i said this to my teacher i [ __ ] hate kids uh i actually saw this movie it's called delgo in theaters as a kid and it's terrifying as terrifying as this situation rip buddy during his attempted heist this thief fell over a drinks display and then could not open the door to escape because he was pushing it instead of pulling it the lady had to come over and help him that's more embarrassing than getting arrested never understood how they got the ice in the bottle i know it's called freezing you idiots buy the white one don't buy the black one got it if your mind goes directly to race you're the problem so you're the problem then anti-lockdown protest leader tested positive for coronavirus that's the face she's making look oo yup yup that's a that's a decent excuse right there north korean dictator kim jong-un rumored to be dead brain dead or just fine can you please make up your mind don't call me karen uh you've just added fuel to the flame oh no no no no this is not okay next next next i can't believe kim died wtf i feel so bad for her kids and the other kardashians apparently you're an idiot and i feel bad for your parents can't believe leonardo dicaprio yelled i'm on the top of the world from the titanic a ship that was at sea at sea level the scientifically lowest attitude in the world he was nowhere near the top he was literally at the bottom what a stupid idiot the real r facepalm is when you realize he actually said i'm the king of the world my girlfriend is currently crying because she thought the 70 dollars she wanted to spend on adopting a koala bear from the australian bushfires was actually going to physically get her koala bear like they would just fedex that crap to us and not just her become a sponsor i'd be sad too if i was this dumb lifeguard fired for saving a man's life yup fits these days we hate math say four and ten a majority of americans such a massive face palm a statue had to be made megan closes a car door my god she's the people's champion malatica nothing else matters apparently neither did the spelling the worst part about this entire one would have to be the photoshop someone laughing at them it's literally elon musk you don't know who that is lol tricia no one could take you serious but that's fine don't know who that is because i'm not a gamer nerd buck minecraft trisha you're so rich you probably own a test and you don't even know who made them you just leave the internet mojang needs to add vampires moaning please add in vampires like vampire what i don't understand hello my brothers and sisters in christ will you believe in nasa or the holy bible conspiracy theorists burn 5g towers in europe claiming link the virus because that is how technology works does not work at all i tried shaving my fat ginger friend's neckbeard and it didn't even work fix your app what app was he downloading ninja calls out fortnite and it's brain-dead players it hurt itself in its confusion ninja mon fainted a reporter went on air wearing this shooting dude this guy's a legend i love this man do not use any of these products to make hand sanitizer girl goes viral as she gets attacked by an octopus while trying to eat it alive well i guess you could say mr octopus tried to eat her alive back hey buddy real brave of you to insult our military real braver your military to invade my country and given our unborn population a long history of birth defects and collateral damage that harmed our economy and equality of life for decades source uh vietnam war oh that i don't count that since we lost that one how do you spell orange orange no that the fruit how do you spell the color o r a n g e that's the fruit they're the exact same no they're not look it up you idiot ah yes more wonderful articles about the cough cough sniffle sniffle moving on phone out of service give us a call pacific bell yep sure okay this dude this isn't a face palm this is just like this guy's winning he's winning right now penicillin was discovered by true false the worst crime was committed using planes so should we ban those two i'm not advocating for a ban on all guns i'm advocating for strict regulations and guess which mode of transportation is the most highly regulated planes iphone topic how the play store out malware on i bet this is just apple trying to sabotage android why just why whose idea was this don't usually tweet right but i've just come home to my mom crying our eyes out asking if i do mistlecrest because she found prawn cracker crumbs in a bag on my bedside table i don't know what prawn side crack prawn crackers are but you know doesn't really look like a mestal crest i would rather push my kids in front of a bus than allow them to play video games feminist bake sale for equality 75 cents for women one dollar for men yup that's equal please arrests mex offenders imagine getting one chance to tell local paper how you met your partner and this happens i do not talk about my charity relief work in public it is between me and my creator well you're either a liar or twitter is your creator pick one self-described mug dealer calls 9-1-1 reports stolen mugs this is why you steal from criminals they're the stupid and call the cops go to jail or they don't report it stolen because you know it's mugs richard has no idea his african-american looking son may have been bothered by another congratulations my brother is joining the royal navy thank you what state the royal navy is britain's naval force yeah but still dog what's date sabrina the teenage witch hired this balding man to play a high school student yo whoever the casting director is they belong in mad lads reddit sacrifice the week reopen day 20 of quarantine me and the boys still having fun this is not social distancing unless you all live together wish i doubt well since they're all the same person photoshopped i guess you could say they do live together here's the schedule hey i think you have the wrong number then what is your number because i have blankety blank blank blank blank this is my number okay then why did you say i have the wrong number because i'm not the person you're trying to text how the hell did i lose so much hair lmao because for every free throw you missed it false outlaw dang lebron you did yourself dirty don't worry our users will notify us if there's a problem honk if the crap's falling off yep that's about right oh no no no no those poor eggs would you rather be smelly but rich or nice smelling but poor i personally would rather be nice smelling but poor because that's what i am right now and i only live myself i took a pic of my son getting an award with his teacher that right there is a good picture of your son look at that reopen pennsylvania give me liberty or give me death we are the people oh my god all right real quick as someone who lives in pennsylvania it's called pencil turkey first of all and second of all go back to our crappy public schools i'm fighting off cough cough sniffle sniffle by drinking sperm smoothies no i pay for strippers let the strippers go back to work you two legends saviors of the industry oh i've seen this and it hurts my brain every time so i'm not gonna comment on the tennis racket the dick is in new york jets well good for you new york jets i wish i could get some sometime thick is a slur i no no it's not anybody can be thick heck i'm a white dude i'm thick my friend she's thick and she's hispanic it doesn't work like that thief mistakenly sucks a sewage instead of the fuel tank sucks the sewage all right then tonight at 8 20 and 20 seconds in military time it will be 20 20 20 20 20. that only happens once in history ah yes this is super good for the environment what does it mean when reporters report unreportedly like is this real or no yes it's real unlike your ability to read and or education we already do this no need to enforce it there is always that odd guy who stands next to you when all the others are empty how do i unblock a website without a vpn here are 12 useful methods 1. use a vpn video games are childish period anyone who wastes time why are you complaining on the internet about video games it's 2020. just stop married 10 years and never had mex yeah you know one of them is cheating on the other first thing he's using as underwear's mask second thing you know this dude about to start a soundcloud rap career called little nugs the direction of a storm can be determined by watching which way the clouds are moving wow who could have ever guessed learn something new every day wired.com you need to make up your mind and stop being bipolar either 51 degrees fahrenheit negative 46 degrees celsius is a piece of cake in just russia google says 46 degrees is 114 degrees fahrenheit that would make negative i no no just stop just stop find the yellow object in the picture okay it's gray it's all gray you don't matter worry you worry don't matter you matter don't worry you don't worry matter oh so many ways to read this what if zelda was a girl um actually zelda is the girl link is the guy with the sword i'm just saying you're stupid how old is she eight months that's weird when the photo is over two years old and posted all over the internet almost like you just grabbed a random baby photo and posted it here i could not say what this new animal crossing game is like as i bought for my nintendo 3ds xl only to find it's only made for the nintendo switch when will it be released for nintendo 3ds xl or is it only going to be for switch yes nintendo when are you releasing this game for this discontinued console iran says 19 sailors killed 15 wounded and friendly fire missile accident well accidents do happen aluminum only someone doesn't know what aluminum is add even more to your story with ancestry dna only 99 used to be 99 ah yes android that's an android what's funny until the animal abuse well scientifically the entire video is animal abuse humans aren't animal smart guy yes smart guy the most simplest but most appealing setup i have it's literally just a background and a clock astute observation did scoob in the gang help you figure that one out or did you do it on your own yes that's the whole point what do you think of apple's impound 700 mac pro wheels i don't speak english oh what language australian oh oh wait i i was about to make a cosmo and wanda joke but i see that they got these mixed up somehow babies should not be named by their parents instead they should name themselves r ban video games we must ban video games because they are a plague upon humanity gamers are holding society back and must be stopped 51 000 members that's uh that's impressive i guess when we both fall asleep so the bedbugs taking the photos everyone storm big cat rescue carol can't kill all of us oh blue lemon i'm afraid that lemon is not blue the elevator doors opened up and a guy walked in the elevator it was just me and him in there and he said i love you and i'm not rude so i said i love you too he gave me a weird look and pointed at his bluetooth the scientific term for breathing is ventilation yup hi five stars game very bruh this is a repost check our slash minecraft bills but it's posted there by the same person ah i see i apologize they spray the crops with butter duh this guy's landlord reported him to the police for growing cannabis in his apartment government struggles with decision whether to [ __ ] entire generation with debt or tax three billionaires a bit more 14 best chevy camaro images that's a camaro all right is chicago a state chicago city in illinois uk surgeon finds 27 missing contact lenses in woman's eye [ __ ] was seeing an ultra 4k hd have you ever been in an accident that resulted in your death yes or no well at least they'll know that you're lying if you uh choose yes do i love me some tea one out of five stars such a scam dinosaurs are fake and never existed yeah screw science dude all the diseases are created with computer all carries all dental diseases all skin diseases and all been i give up r band video games again her i can't believe that the devil got to her you have my blessings doomguy kills demons if you use facial recognition for anything the government has your face low wait until you find out about driver's licenses man wearing i have drugs t-shirt arrested accused of having drugs what ah were discovered on this person well at least it wasn't lying ah yes uh the two directions e3 and earthy kids these days have a lot easier than we did growing up that's the goal though right yeah it's a good point actually can this teenager use a rotary phone oh look at these stupid kids they can't use a rotary phone they can't even use a phone book wow it's almost like as technology advances older things slowly become useless and obsolete kind of like ellen yeah i don't see him doing another dory movie anytime soon so uh when were eyes invented vaccines can cause autism false information checked by independent fact checkers all right i do kind of like this this feature where uh facebook's like all right uh no this is stupid florida is in hawaii though american schools are failing true what if i told you that the creator of fanaf also worked on this i would believe you actually minecraft um i don't know about the uh the llamas um oh dude i'll never forget freddie mercury lead singer of acdc choose shipping options uh free delivery uh may 19th to the 20th or express shipping 13.94 may 19th through the 20th hmm obviously express is the way to go oh um i am not sure that's a very good spot to build a uh a freeway fellas tom and jerry tom frickin dies try youtube kids i don't want my man to wear glasses i feel like it's a little gay fellas is it gay to see one of the last survivors of the pearl harbor attack on uss arizona has died germans again yep the germans were ruthless when they attacked pearl harbor top 10 google search queries around the world as of 2020 google protesters calling for gyms to reopen do squats and push-ups outside clearwater courthouse yeah we'll show him that we can't work out at home and we have to work out at the gym by working out outside the courthouse guys i don't think we thought this through she's really cool i'm half vampire because i'm not joking if i'm out in the sun for like two to three minutes i begin to start sweating uh because light is the vampire's weakness but if i'm walking out at night i don't sweat so bad all right then and we are at historical lows temperature isn't static look how many we've added to the planet's population look at all the buildings of glass and stone and metal and all the highways and parking lots they absorb heat and people create it look at the picture it shows the evolution of which animal this picture shows how the hind legs of horses have evolved houston woman who was driving suv towards her children in a parent game of chicken struck and killed her three-year-old son authorities say oh i see um i don't think you do dude one minute two ingredient instant doughnuts donuts these take two minutes to make you lied how noticeable is the ir flash to humans at night time invisible and some ask the same question you don't see a flash it's ir we don't see ir the best gift a mom ever gave was time spent underneath jesus christ all right the reality of knife defense you will get cut yeah no no crap sherlock uh hi hi you japanese i'm korean then moshimoshi oh okay in ladakh maximum temperature is negative four degree centigrade and minimum temperature is negative one degree centigrade what excuse me people have read it who don't like lasagna why i've never had it before how about now why is this ladies a different color is it sick or something live log love really makes you think upgrade to legacy edition and play modern warfare remastered oh but they have legacy pro edition wait that's not the same thing to hear you must listen with your ears and not your eyes thank you i had no idea actually hi fellow doggo my brother dog good doggy boy you are not one with the shiva tribe join now or be smited in the name of the mighty lord doge easily the funniest date of his i've ever seen one first of all it's a pie chart two the total is greater than one hundred percent three the relevant categories are today last year and the year 1997 four the margin of error moe is listed as the source nice a guy says he was questioned on a plane for doing math during a flight a woman sitting next to the ivy league economist told flight crews she had security concerns about the man after seeing him writing a foreign script turned out to be a differential equation oh man look i get it you didn't have masks you've wanted to you wanted to wear something but i don't know about those megalodon the shark that lived about 60 million years ago how did he live 60 million years ago if the earth is only 20 20 years old well he lived in the sea not on the earth yeah everyone knows the sea is a totally different realm than earth how do you break a spawner in minecraft and keep it in minecraft if i have unbreaking 3 fortune 3 efficiency 4 and mending on my pickaxe is a silk touch pickaxe still necessary is minecraft racist can cats lick mint or lifesaver mints my cat tried to eat a gum wrapper the last christmas she tried to lick a candy cane and when i got lifesaver men she attacked it so i gave her one especially since she's pmsing i tried to ease her she also tries to lick her seeps but i uh keep them away from her because i know receipts are toxic for one lifesaver men can't be that bad for right my brother's neighbor got a birthday sign in their yard and i'm dead uh happy birthday 18 orgy oh no why i stopped watching nigerian movies a man had a heart attack in the hospital and the doctor shouted somebody call an ambulance uh one out of five stars i mean i've not played mugen but it's awesome awesome my mom just called me downstairs and asked me why are my files not downloading then i find this some college professors during quarantine yesterday my professor gave an entire lecture on mute and didn't look at the 200 plus comments telling him his audio was off nice um ah i see nepo instead of open new chair no homo but it is very comfortable fellas is it gay to sit comfortably i am a free man i am not man a number excuse me it's the everyday heroes that really make the difference i worked at mcdonald's for two and a half years and i put 11 nuggets in almost every 10 piece i made this guy he's uh he's got a guaranteed spot in heaven it seems today that all you see is violence movies on tv but where are those good old fashioned values on which for use to rely i'd continue this but it's already as far as i've memorized the lyrics it's called google you ruin the joke i don't want to alarm anyone but i think this church just challenged jesus to a fight jesus six o'clock parking lot be there this is what happens when you put a penny in a microwave for two minutes yo you just made me start a fire in the house you didn't believe it did you high's tomorrow oh good golly it's gonna be a 1053 degrees in phoenix that doesn't really surprise me though you know mother of two reveals how you can fit a soap dispenser in the pointless circle and the sink and cleaning enthusiasts call it a life-changing hack recent posts politics test four years ago oh why is spanish spoken in brazil so different and unintelligible playstation 4 bundle uh excuse me that is a psp quarantine thoughts day five how do we know whether we all actually hear what if we all are deaf and lip read and our brains just fill in the voices but people who are classes as deaf just struggle with filling in the voices you know i've thought the same thing is hebrew a fake language uh not sure what you mean by a fake language but hebrews spoken by 9 million people it dates back to the 10th century bce it's one of israel's official languages a kid born in 2010 is now 20. just let that sink in he doing that r kelly math why did i thought this was a white girl singing probably because you're racist with threads like these i can't lose okay but why is there a white guy playing an egyptian please tell me you're joking that's rami malik he is egyptian oh my god this is a promoted reddit ad and it has so many awards i think i've got you this time checkmate which is more og reddit or tiktok why ah yes texas rib sauce vegan friendly yes for my ribs 16 billion items delivered safely and securely every single year yeah this looks pretty safe when will uk schools reopen and how will they keep children safe um i would hope that they open when things are safe and there's no more you know virus stop here for a selfie there's not much to take a picture of for the background i really do love shakespeare's habit of starting plays with conversations between two side characters that have little to no bearing on the plot as a whole he's just like you see these two they're gonna give you exposition to make a joke and then frick off for the rest of the show are siblings closer genetically than parents 4 out of 5 stars for these sound panels silence is golden neighbors haven't complained of the noise once since i installed these four stars only because the package does not include an adhesive to install the panels i will say yes that is a problem with sound panels you have to find something to attach to the panel and then attach to the wall it's stupid come on confined boys armchair dark brown leatherette 86. all right well that's a small chair one out of 5 stars terrible and a waste of money the song doesn't even go with the music the engine cowling of a southwest airlines plane from dallas has been damaged after a person was struck and killed on the runway at austin bergstrom international airport thursday night i went to england and they spoke american why is this also they copied our city names like boston new york birmingham and the state of new hampshire why do they copy us also why do they say david beckham is english when he's american where is this knife made hmm i wonder where the swiss army knife is made please stay away from table nice the nether portal defense in bed wars uh target 3d gaming copy do in a new vid we literally recorded it together i've had so many of these comments on my own videos taskbar on both monitors help spoiler oh come on dude not only are you not wearing your mask at all um but you are tasting the food on the shelves great job it's all about six nine's billboard we live in a world where some people praise someone who went to prison wasn't the actual frick in 1963 martin luther king was arrested and sent to jail because he and others were protesting the treatment of blacks and birmingham yeah no surprise an imported company like tesla is a violating american law this is why i buy american cars like my taurus that is 100 made in the usa you do know tesla is an american company hq in fremont california right nicholas tesla's italian he didn't make the company jesus christ nikolai tesla was around in like the 1700s jesus christ is american no eight times nintendo ripped off xbox everyone rips off everyone come on tldr try the number one longest lasting double a batter in the world how do you do fellow kids you think you'd know us from the back of your dad's remote but you're wrong energizer ultimate lithium is more powerful than anything your dad can imagine now back to your regularly scheduled reddit i feel like i deserve to be paid for just reading that i'll be waiting energizer today's fact tomato ketchup was used as medicine in 1800s wow what a fact did you forgot to change accounts la mao girl at restaurant are you tony hawk me yes her why i had no idea how to answer unbelievable young driver allegedly caught speeding 308 kilometers an hour on the qew uh they says they said they caught a young driver allegedly speeding at 308 an hour on the qew saturday night this is the fastest speed that i've ever heard of okay bro they put a toe zone slash no parking thing on their property so they're digging it out nice this chair is unavailable uh looks pretty available to me unicef helps 7.5 million children a year yet takes a modest 560 million dollars a year that's 67.2 million dollars a child woman claims that her dog turned vegetarian and didn't crave meat anymore dog proves her stupidity nice a man tried to pose for a picture with a fish died after the fish slipped into his mouth causing him to choke the incident occurred on monday evening at a lake in melarum village according to reports the man was posing for a selfie by inserting a worm in a fishing hook attached to a fish which he had placed in the opening of his mouth the fish suddenly moved and slipped further into his mouth rip today one of my fourth grade students renamed himself reconnecting on our zoom call and pretended that he was having internet issues to avoid participating in our lesson we were on the verge of greatness we were this close mom sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite me sleeps loose the bed bugs bed bugs i've come for your pickle this isn't what i meant when i looked up ben shapiro destroyed by bbc the actually the decade will end in 2021 starter pack what is that in the bottom right pizza the hut what are you respected for if you're a woman but despised for if you're a man breastfeeding in public brave 10 banned weapons too brutal for war who the f are the 2.9 folks that disliked it probably the victims who failed to stop it man breaks into a burger king and drinks gallons of deep frying oil we all make mistakes in the heat of passion jimbo now with all that oil in your system your poop turns into food the deep frying process removes all bacteria making it safe to eat when it's career day and your mom shows up with a webcam and laptop the girl in the back's life was forever changed on that day suddenly sally realized she is not interested in little timmy anymore earth wins miss universe for the 67th time aliens about this comment if it's a good meme downvote this comment if it's a crap to your meme i'm a bot and this action was performed automatically okay now that the mods are gone guys if not a bot i'm locked in a basement and being forced to comment on every post please send help to this edge best cast ever dude can snap lol his bones were like avengers disassemble my masks finally came in now i can go in public and go shopping put one on your kid and you've got yourself a child predator i get it but i don't want to long ago the forged nations live together in harmony chair chirth twatter fire lightning phrases like crank up the window or hang up the phone don't make sense to kids these days what things are said now that won't make sense in 30 years plenty of fish in the sea oh that's sad that is very sad how i held my breath for 17 minutes my brother tried this and now he's been in there for two days i'm so proud of him where do you find a dog with no legs right where you left it in a chinese kitchen hey i just met you and this is crazy but give me the kid i won't eat the baby elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump i pushed a fat kid out of his wheelchair for faking it after reading this well i'm pretty sure he wasn't faking it now what would you do in this situation keep flame throwing it's her birthday today i asked her what she wanted to eat and she said tacos so he flew to mexico me hey babe what you want to eat her nothing me flies to africa i bought a joy-con gun finally something useful for animal crossing women's pockets can fit less than half of a switch light whereas a men's pocket can fit a whole switch subscribe to my only fans to see how i can fit a gamecube sir this is a wendy's i'm tired of waiting i want to be loved me too kid get a dog i'm not sure which of those two problems it'll solve but it's worth a shot hey bro yo girl cheating jasmine or maria maria maria h or maria a maria c the one with or without the glasses with with or without braces without damn professionals have standards the one with or without adult teeth oh no if attacked play dead it will be a good practice for when you die a couple minutes later this is only good for grizzly or brown bear attacks great i live near a polar bear what the frick am i supposed to do seduce it why do you think it's after me guys i cut my ding-dong off what well just grow it back oh it worked oh male girl to mail man i see it doesn't have a case gee pete if only you'd caught gwen that quickly thanks i love seeing someone draw kirby in front of kirby little does kirby know that's a rule 34 artist kobe beef in kyoto japan's best steakhouse rip kobe you will always be the best and the most tasty slapping my face for 24 hours in one video i paused the video but could still hear the sound coming from my parents bedroom windows xp shutdown sound piano tutorial stephen hawking's last words mods are gone post-illegal lego building techniques as a person who has a good mind for engineering as well as still plays with legos this makes me want to commit a war crime just one after i commit the first one it will be impossible to commit another due to lack of population asked groomer to shave a heart on my dog's butt what i expected versus what i got click them together like lego president shouldn't travel in bulletproof vehicles change my mind not only did lho change his mind he sent a good chunk of it flying out the other side you and your child are driving late at night along a deserted road you come across a van full of money with the driver dead from an apparent heart attack what lesson do you teach your child lift with your legs not your back my late great grandmother kept a box of melted nails from her house as a memento from the great chicago fire forbidden rice krispie treat you have your mother's eyes oh oh no never forget that spongebob and mr krabs thought they killed a man and tried to hide the body but what do you want me to do with the bottles of soda bottles of soda an example that the best tv shows meant for children are the educational ones update my crush's parents found out she was conversing with possible predators on tick-tock and they forced her to delete it we won mr stark good thing you didn't get caught when that one kid in the nerf war keeps claiming you missed whenever you shoot him amateurs i always headshot those in my basement orangutang attempts to fish with spear after watching locals do not show him porn florida man successfully receives penis transplant from horse upgrades people upgrades what io game did people in 1920 play pol.io hub fans have you ever hit that share on facebook button and why friend of mine for april fool's shared stepmom to his stepmom with the text underneath this could be us his dad found it hilarious my fish just had a baby so we're celebrating my mom celebrated the same way when she found out she was pregnant german cannibal who ate a man he met online has been allowed out of prison on day trips maybe he's tired of prison food not getting proper nutritions because humans feed me bread making a meme to raise awareness about feeding them bread feed them corn lettuce seeds frozen peas oats instead ducks have a corkscrew penis thanks you you ruined the meme black or white we are all the same inside i can't believe this man just fixed racism both taste the same my gay-ass heart how and why are they showing this to kids they've always shown kissing in cartoons that's a man and a woman those are rats italian grandmas try frozen pizza for the first time next americans try healthy food next african kids try food oh no not funny didn't laugh americans listening to another school shooting joke told by a european that's because they're aimed at a younger audience therapist anime putin doesn't exist he can't hurt you anime putin maybe one of my proudest faps when someone calls your penis small big in japan way to roast all of japan the nukes did that years ago the bloodbenders from avatar cora could theoretically control erections maybe you could bloodband so much blood into the penis that it pops like a water balloon yes officer this comment right here just a reminder school is the second equivalent of hell yeah but there are a lot less shootings in hell you know jesus might have a point here quarantine got you down neighborhood scream friday at 5 pm who can scream the loudest you son of a [ __ ] i'm in they'll never hear the people in my basement together choose your separation method official lego separator approximately 70 success rate keeps body parts intact works on multiple situations only works on small bricks may not be available in your country band in england is considered a weapon long thumbnail approximately 50 success rate works in almost all situations most people have thumb only works if nails not clipped high risk of ruining pretty nails or all reliable approximately 99 success rate considered the best last resort option some people may not have teeth if duncan incorrectly teeth will be reduced to adams weaponized lego separator yeah me mate jezza was off on his own and some freaking road man jumped him and shanked his [ __ ] his ass up with one of them things you get me bro me watching porn wondering why there is no sound siren head somewhere in a forest moans i don't need porn to make the siren head moan blurst war i'd fake dead so they can run over my body and then i could look up those skirts my idea is when i'm awake my ideas when i'm almost asleep my idea is when i'm taking a crap oh you take a crap while sleeping too nice stepmom and fairy tales stepmom in real life stepmom and porn wait what are you doing steposaurus new jersey gay couple discovers they are in fact long lost twins super smash bros warning label speaketh the good truth never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your ding-dong interesting what if a girl passes by there's surgeries to fix that bought my son a trampoline for his birthday all he does is scream about wanting back in his wheelchair well it's awesome in the lake maybe he wants to swim my eight-year-old bought me some slime for the holidays i don't have the heart to tell him it looks like thanos's left testicle now you can complete the collection what if we kissed and all my teeth fell out into your mouth mmm tic tacs what would you do if she unplugged your router in the middle of your game and smiled like this i'll use the time to form a strong romantic relationship with her that'll eventually lead to marriage when we eventually grow old together and we find ourselves in the hospital on life support i'll bring up the time she had unplugged my router then i'll unplug her life support and smile like that yes when feeding grapes to a child cut them in half lengthwise and width-wise but what do we do with the grapes biologist screws up mutant killer virus physicists screws up deadly black hole geologists screws up rock on table is now rock on floor artists screws up world war ii it has been four years to the day since i had my scoliosis surgery the surgery itself took 14 hours surgeons drilled metal straightening bars into my spine these are x-rays taken before and after the surgery they tamed your bone snake yeah yeah that's right a zebra right in front of me can i shoot it it's half black so a stun gun will do don't knock unless i married you birthed you or ordered food from you the adopted kid i guess i'm gonna have to crash through the window man this is fake the adopted kid is the food wait what he is 3.5 metric tons of raw sexual aggression me every time i get up in the morning whoa calm down there chief in 1910 there was a u.s baseball team made up of death row inmates whose execution dates were delayed as long as they were winning it's either you clutch or kick why do bigfoot hunters try to lure him with a mating call do they have any game plan for if a sasquatch comes barreling towards them out of the woods full tilt with a raging boner what the f do you think the point of finding bigfoot is it's to mate with him of course like if you're not gonna mate with bigfoot then like you're wasting your time oh no dude look out for that shovel this is how archaeologists hunt yeah we couldn't find any bones so we'll just have to make some bruh two pregnant ladies and this woman's belly is just a little weird oh god is that the baby ah neat cereal bowl you know it actually does kind of look like a cereal bowl i'd eat cereal out of it what you wouldn't eat cereal out of it what are you some kind of weirdo man arrested for attaching 137 balloons to a chair with his mother-in-law in it guess you could call it a chair way to heaven wait no how does that go hello police yeah it's this post right here what is the purpose of a ding dong slapping a coochie before proceeding to have sex uh sound check duh you gotta make sure it sounds right that's the whole point how can you tell if someone loves you back or not this one time i took a massive crap at a party and the toilet got all clogged and then i realized there was no plunger so i had to scoop the crap out of the toilet and out the bathroom window and it landed on their dog outside and i was like oh crap what does that have to do with anything it doesn't i just wanted to do a story time you freaking weirdo kate middleton re-wears blue alexander mcqueen coat for the fourth time okay and she likes it i've worn the same condom four times in a row too because i like it mind your own business uh dude not the same thing not the same thing at all dude that is not the same thing it's not the same thing at all blursed condom i get it instead of putin it's putin our condom how serial killers who never got caught watched documentaries about their crime see now this is relatable wait what i gotta go pregnant in high school so i told my parents i was getting bullied and we moved lol so that's where my dad went i mean that's a pretty crummy thing to do but also kind of ingenious for a high schooler oh yeah the little the the water bottle coolers you could just pop them out and throw them in the bottle now this is the effing crap that would qualify this year as the future ah i've tried these it's all fun and games until you sip and get deep throated by a four inch ice rod just saying why else would i put it in my drink that's what makes it good a not safe for work post should tell us if it's a sexual post or a gory or violent post i too saw boobs when i expected a public execution disgusting i can get a double cheeseburger so why can't i get a double hot dog i have designed an extra wide bun that can accommodate two frankfurts at one time higher meat to bread ratio more surface area for mustard and relish the world is ready the time has come actually that's a pretty good idea get ready for the double doggy style and you ruined it you just you straight up ruined it thank you thank you for that if breast size doesn't matter neither should ding dong size gonna have to disagree i don't care how big her boobs are but if her dong is even an inch bigger than mine then i'm out i mean that's a fair rule when you flawlessly execute a joke in front of four to five people and everyone laughs oh yeah nah nah nah how about when you flawlessly execute four to five people yeah now that's what i'm talking about i found this ravine and it looks like an eye not gonna lie i saw something else and it's uh it's definitely not an eye where am i welcome to hell whoa good weather here haha yeah darn australians i guess they're already used to everything around them being on fire ah that's true when i beat my meat with vicks vaporub oh my god how it feels to screw five gum how it feels to screw five gum two slices of pizza are the equivalent of swallowing three spoons of warm oil do you feel like eating a pizza now yeah i've swallowed worse warm fluids in nature poisonous creatures will develop bright colors to warn others of their toxicity don't care i'm horny just because you're horny doesn't mean you should screw frogs i learned that the hard way i agree with anti-vaxxers ask me anything why so i work at funerals and the money just keeps coming in when you throw a random grenade and get a kill this would be even funnier if it was implied to video games and not just real life tis better to come in the sink than to sink in the [ __ ] socrates ah yes and is tis better to crap in the shower than to shower in the crap gandhi i don't mean to be that guy but i really don't think either of them said that oh hey it's doofenshmirtz he was a failed abortion he had a rough childhood he failed art as a student and he was german still doesn't ring a bell for me oh wait a second are you saying that doofenshmirtz is you know that guy i i really do hope not my gpu broke and this didn't fix it and she's pointing a gun at the gpu try pointing that gun out of repairman you'd get it fixed for free well i mean with that logic anything is free if you have a gun my fiance just told me he has feelings for someone he met at work this week he's been working from home dang that girl must be good at hiding yes i am when someone steals your car but now the body in the trunk is their problem hey can can he steal my house too i'm not saying i got a lot of bodies in there but uh i definitely have a lot of bodies in there you are offered 10 million dollars to screw around with the physical manifestation of your username do you accept why or why not huggable octopus i feel i indirectly fit here but i'm not happy about it octopus on fire well at least yours is huggable japan is going to allow scientists to create human animal hybrids ah yeah imagine half people half pig hybrids one part sexy and the other part just some human okay just jimmy you you should probably take a little break from reddit i can't believe a hundred percent of people upvoted this uh it's terrible nothing is ever black and white skunks are and so are newspapers penguins old movies oreos zebras dalmatians killer whales oh and don't forget michael jackson oh they schooled you they just schooled jacara i'm sorry a lot of things are made in black and white call me carson why do you have so many u2s of yourself lmao you should put her in the jar why is everyone so weird why is everybody gotta be weird and cursed come on can't we just be wholesome girls of reddit what's the female equivalent of trying to hide a boner when you're on your period and you feel a giant blob of dark blood aggress and now you hope it absorbs into the pad and not stain your clothes ah yes giving birth to a jellyfish ah just just take your awards and go handsome scar handsome mufasa jesus christ sometimes i regret dying for your sins as you should jesus as you should empty all liquids here can't stop thinking about the airport juice jungle imagine you nut down there and nine months later a juice man comes out no no i'm not i'm not gonna imagine that what's wrong with you oh now i'm forced to imagine it just a giant wet man comes out of it i'm juice man guy accidentally shoots himself in the face after bullet ricochets off of armadillo armadillo more like carmadillo that was a really lame joke i kinda thought it was funny but i'm gonna boo with the rest of the crowd i secretly enjoy the puns but you gotta stop bro i was listening to pumped up kicks in my class and my earbuds unplugged and everyone looked at me in fear i laughed so hard my gun almost fell out of my pocket whoa dang they had us in the first half i'm not gonna lie anonymous testicle checking booth debuts in new zealand everyone's gangster until a knife pops out of the hole can you imagine somebody just sticking a knife out of there like oh you're lucky i almost caught you slipping ksi says the only one that can cancel you is you lewis replies to ksi you've cancelled like eight babies oh what you didn't have to bring it there bro oh dang i really hope this guy's name is richard no it definitely would make sense anyone else want to stomp on his head like a freaking mario brothers i mean he does look like a mushroom i mean it would only be right i can imagine someone seeing him down the street and they're like this is what all these years of video gaming has trained me for closing your eyes for just another two minutes after your alarm goes off and waking up 25 years later married with three kids and a dog why would you marry three kids and a dog at the same time you know what they say the more the merrier women with bigger butts give birth to smarter children according to a study from am i the only one who's curious about megamind's mom her dummy thick cheeks clapped hard enough to create a black hole that destroyed their planet is this the lore is that the lore for megamind now i don't want to live in a world where this is right hello all right cool yeah boy oh boy my voice is doing the thing i gotta get the camera out my 14 year old daughter just screamed f and slammed her bedroom door after learning she'll be menstruating every month or so for the next 30 to 40 years and i can't blame her a bit just say no to menstruation it's your body and your choice i know right i wish more women understood this i've been holding in my period for eight months now my stomach's getting a bit big but it's better than menstruating uh who's gonna tell her the four horsemen of learning how long a minute actually is holding your breath exercising loading screens and microwaving food don't forget the try not to come challenge seriously who let this troll back here seriously dude just take your awards and go minecraft sleeping rules now apply in real life everyone in your family must sleep in order for everyone to sleep who's keeping everyone up imagine you live alone and you go to sleep and nothing happens you cannot rest now there are monsters in your area you know i've always wondered what would happen if we slept like in minecraft that would be so scary if that was actually a thing a tweet from god 2020 haha six months down three to go please don't give me hope honestly i'll take anything just as long as 2020 ends pride listerine to wash the dick out of your mouth i mean hey that'll be useful for somebody bill gates said i will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it what's a real life example of this my brother gave my oldest nephew 10 a week if he did all his chores without needing to be told or complaining one day he gets home from work and sees the neighbor's kid tossing a bag in the trash he asked him what he's doing and the kid said he gets five bucks a week to take care of a few chores my nephew outsourced his chores outsourcing and child labor this kid's destined to be a nike ceo one day ah sad but true oh man i just failed no poop november oh never mind i was able to put it back what can i say except delete this but did they put it back up their butt or eat it the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural feminist we can do anything that a man can do men observe how would a woman do this like on one boob more like on the baby i mean i could see a pregnant woman doing that it's not too far outside of the capabilities of women i'm just saying there should be an olympic where athletes can take as many drugs as they want like effort let's see how high humans can really jump lay olympics yeah new participants each year everyone gets a chance yeah there'd have to be new participants each year because every other person would die rick astley meeting prince diana in 1988 they have a lot in common one hit and it was over john f kennedy with a little bit of a hole in his head ah yes the most open-minded president i was not prepared for technically the truth and cursed commas to come together this is weird you are offered 10 million dollars to screw around with a physical manifestation of your username do you accept why or why not my own grandfather at least i'll be getting paid this time oh that's dark i why is your username my own grandfather you brought this on yourself man i just dumped a package of fruit snacks into my mask at work and i'm eating them slowly like a horse i love the pandemic people are freaking dying man which means more fruit snacks for the rest of us oh this is our slash brand new sentence no wonder no wonder i can't keep up with these sentences customer tells me their whole life story in detail me dang that's crazy your total is 13 30. my grandma just died speaking of old bags would you like paper or plastic you're a jerk man kids want to be batman adults want to be bruce wayne i want to be bruce wayne's parents uh smite might you feeling good man we can always get you the help you need but that just aspiring to be bruce wayne's parents i mean that's not even like i don't want to be living anymore that's like i want to be shot in an alleyway in front of my kid that's that's that's on some hardcore stuff cows making milk for their babies humans our milk what is this logo thing can please tell it's the international peace symbol you know you can put this symbol like on your house on your car you know just go out wearing it you know it means peace totally nothing else yeah jesus is cool but is he red not until you peel him when this goes on r slash curse comments i want buzz lightyear next to me oh would you look at that he got his wish good for this guy even though everybody who's reading cursed comments is like feeling bad i'm glad this guy got his wish your dating preferences are discriminatory don't want to stick my hand into a cookie jar just to grab a pickle i really hate this analogy but i gotta admit the idea of reaching your hand into a cookie jar and grabbing a pickle it's kind of hilarious woman hates selfie and decides to photograph herself dead all over the world imagine if somebody kills her and keeps posting the pictures we would have no idea without saying their name what is your favorite pokemon the one that has so much corn of it do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down oh the internet's a sick place like how you gonna make corn out of oddish like come on the internet's a sick place man that's all i gotta say watching corn and eating breakfast is amazing i agree no need for milk i know right it's wonderful wait a second what a former power ranger has been using his stuntman training to rob homes in japan you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain was it the black ranger i get it because we follow a narrative of black people committing crimes hahaha hey [ __ ] you let's keep going why does baby yoda have completely different eyes than he does when he's an adult uh puberty you know how people's baby teeth fall out oh wow you know thank you for equally awful answers are they implying that baby yoda's eyes are gonna fall out and like just turn into new ones that's a terrible thought like i'd rather you just not answer the question professionals have standards mom don't let your feet hang off the bed or the monster will eat them me hangs butt off the bed monster it'd be like the one criticism of the butt it's freaking raw yeah i'm a simp as in registered sex offender hey where do you get registered someone please help i've been trying to get registered for years now gamer who fought isis thanks call of duty for his combat skills the media i'll ignore that uh you know i just camped the respawn that was a maternity hospital hey man a kill is a kill when you're trying to be cute but you gotta make everything sexual boop ah you boot my nose oh stop step owner what are you doing ah come on okay we get that the caption was bad but you just made it worse swordfish dangerous fast quick with its sword and apex predator soon to be endangered by the superior gunfish oh yes the gunfish apparently it travels in schools oh that's clever oh this is a very creepy picture roses are red that's a lot of plaster the children are fast but the sea lion's faster woman goes blind after getting her eyeballs tattooed the tattoo artist is facing prison for severely disabling the woman i mean tattooing your eyes and she didn't see this coming i don't think she can see anything coming well at least not anymore pregnant girl 14 absolutely terrified of giving birth but insist boyfriend 10 years old whoa 10 years old for a boyfriend ok that's kind of crazy we'll help raise the baby he's going to sell the kid to buy fortnite skins i mean seeing how the kid is 10 i really wouldn't put it past him friend it's a short trip only pack what you need me alright then come along doggo yeah that's why i'm not taking the kids with me hold up i'm getting bullied by an anti-vaxxer heartbroken emoji [Laughter] man just sneeze on them oh i mean you could always do it nobody's gonna stop you they don't have the balls to store the pee what do you think the boobs are for wait then that means breastfeeding is the sacred juice me after walking to the principal's office after throwing a peanut butter sandwich at the allergy table and getting a 20 kill streak [Music] [Laughter] oh man you're like i know what i did but hey it was pretty awesome wasn't it is this even legal bible study imagine going to bible study with one of these and your pastor walks up to you and whispers hey where can i get one of those it would be even funnier if the pastor had no idea what the logo was modeled after and he like unironically wore it everywhere it would be pretty funny corporations removing their pride logos at midnight tonight see you in hell you stupid fruit whoa gosh okay that's not very nice at all call me a fruit one more time i might turn you into a vegetable whoa that's that's a derogatory term you call me a fruit one more time i might turn you into a vegetable you better watch out i'm a bit confused pro science pro health anti-vaccine i'd still hit it not too ugly and if the condom breaks i won't be stuck with child support for too long negative two upvotes why are you booing him he's right a beautiful ballerina dancing oh harold cover your eyes she keeps doing her routine and uh you're not wearing your underwear plot twist she did that on purpose bigger plot twist he did that on purpose blurst interspecies relationship imagine her poor vagina i'd rather not thank you childbirth must have been so much easier for her compared to the conception of the child no thanks i'm a vegetarian it's a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby yeah unless their baby is a vegetable then it's even more funny if you could only drink one thing for the rest of your life not water what would you pick scarlett johansson's p that just might be better than warter oh please delete this i don't know why people think kids learning about gay relationships in schools will turn them gay i learned about world war ii but i'm yet to invade poland keyword yet yeah don't get it twisted benjamin will one day invade poland just not today so if you're watching this from poland just know you're safe for now not too far from the truth 900 people get in the whole world wants to wear surgical masks 30 million people have but still nobody wants to wear a condom you won't get it if you're sitting in a bus or a public place not with that attitude what is the most awkward moment to get during an autopsy especially if you're supposed to be the corpse dirt sticks to sweat deep scars don't regenerate with sweat glands so that's dirt doesn't stick to it so if i get a deep scar on my balls and my balls won't sweat everyone during the french revolution the dead body in my bathtub can relate wait what this chicken is entirely black from beak to bone this man rubbed his face lovingly on that bbc when you throw your girl on the bed trying to be sexy but she hits her head and dies i see this as an absolute win if god loves me why can't i get a big goth girl gf god was the big goth girl gf all along bill gates hands you his credit card and says grab me a snickers and get something for yourself what are you buying plus you get to say bill here's your snickers i got myself 100 grand then pull out the bar with a cheeky smile and then he laughs and i laugh too then he gets a twinkle in his eyes and starts twirling his hair with his finger while he bites his lower lip knowing his body language says it's okay for me to kiss him i lean in and burp liver and onion his rather than run away screaming uh [Music] i just realized how much of a pain it must have been to give birth to phineas yeah that's a tortilla on a toilet paper roll this is an amazing idea i can have breakfast for lunch tasty brown bean tortilla wraps thanks i hate bus with legs the legs on the bus go step step step the nose on the bus can smell your fear smell your fear smell your fear the eyes on the bus can see your soul all the way down professionals have standards my apartment's pest control guy always refers to richie my cat as a fellow industry professional my plumber always refers to my poopy butt as its permanent employment insurance woman sentenced to 10 years from making false rape allegations the worst part is she had some poor guy hanging on her wall frozen in carbonite i get it cartoons when my mom walks in subtitle coochie getting destroyed by huge hero without a cape pollinator back completely full of pollen thanks buddy good job forbidden cheeto casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex it's called the sex offenders registry when it's almost summer and all the annoying creatures are showing up again at least i can smack them all to death oh no d up father eric keep talking smack jamal in jesus name i'll break those ankles father son and the holy cross up remember that time jesus got crossed so hard he died will you press the button you get to spend time with your crush but you can't tell anyone else i already spend time with her and no one knows not even her oh that's okay so my little brother has a friend who plays in the black metal band he and the van were going into the woods and taking a photo for the cover album but just in that photo was taking our little friend slid in the snow here's the result my sleep paralysis demon drowning and my nut sucks oh no you've heard of mother nature now get ready for daddy he's got a point this deer was struck by an arrow but survived leading to its rib cage growing around the arrow if the deer survived why the freak am i looking at its rib cage this deer had his rib cage extracted from its body but it survived leading the deer to be able to suck his own ding-dong so uh while being naked from the waist down i made eye contact with my boyfriend and lifted my leg to fart instead i pushed a little too hard and just on the floor like a freaking dog while making eye contact with this poor man if the boyfriend freaked out and ran i would gladly take his place i like when a woman asserts dominance by marking your territory okay dennis you don't use the public dipping tray public dipping tray my ex-wife's nickname please i'm begging you can they please make a dishwasher with a transparent door i want to see what's going on in there they don't want you to see the thousands of tongues why are you like this are you religious i'd like to introduce you to my religion what's your religion i'm interested that dog is getting more than my previous family generation i hate using plastic so i pick up my dog's crap with my bare hands i wish more people would actually care about the earth but then you gotta throw it in the trash that uses plastic bags just eat it like me bro selling my cow he ain't mood yet i think he's spanish please tell me he doesn't try to milk the dog i have a cursed erection right now son help or dora dora will explore you small people jokes on them i'm here to take a dump in the urinal dude if you want to see a 4.5 billion year old space rock just look down you're hurling through space on one of those right now yeah but people crapping all over it for free earth is so lucky i wish i was in shadow i remember once my dad gave me enough money to pay the electricity bill but instead i bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car when i got home i explained to my dad what i did and he beat the crap out of me but the next day when my dad woke up and opened the door outside my house was a brand new car we all cried especially me because the car was from the electricity company they were there to cut off the electricity my dad beat the crap out of me again ellen is the best mion ellen so i heard you like fallout 4 yeah nuclear sirens go off in the distance oh my god alan you didn't so i heard you want to be batman of my folks oh god no kazuhisa hashimoto the programmer who created the legendary konami code passed away last night he must have entered it wrong it's supposed to give you extra lives oh you guys always act like you're better than me they all taste the same i'm breaking up with you what why because all you ever talk about is freaking video games babe please this is such a stupid thing to fall out for freaking video games interesting austria bans all gatherings of more than five people families of six so that means the seven kids in my basement have to go oh come on that's the nut i busted in chernobyl how'd you get all the way out here buddy we went back in father turkish fans fake a stadium fight to deliver birthday cake to an unsuspecting policeman imagine doing this for a firefighter and so it begins i believe i have but don't want treatment for fear of quarantine how should i go about self-treatment and not infecting others essential oils buy the gallon taken anally via fire hose purist surgeon refuses to operate surgery robot with anything but gamecube controller professionals have standards hey look mom i got my first kill pikachu use slam rip so if ripped off his foreskin we would see a two feet long veiny thick juicy schlong i hate that i had to read that out loud without the i would have thought this was the new fantastic beasts movie resistance when you kill someone so the police provides you with food a room in a gym for 20 years for free and free sex don't forget that aussie man reviews gender reveal fails the last time i revealed my gender in public i got arrested what is your greatest wish i just want to punch god in the face this kid's going places not heaven for sure but places finally a good quark for my toll it costs you nothing not to say that it's true imagine how freaking angry the rat that controls gordon ramsay must be all the time well yeah ramsay doesn't wear a hat so the rat has to control him using his hairs i'm sure you'd be mad too if you had to smell a british man's swamp it's all day too waving children please wave back what if i don't if you don't wave then they appear in your rear view mirror as they're sitting in your back seat but when you look back it's your grandma fingering yourself that's not where i thought that was going imagine pooping and just the pin comes out [Laughter] we're gonna die in a freaking gulag but man it'll be worth it murica the most annoying sounds in class the last one is a solution to the other three oh it do be like that me pushes the shower handle five centimeters expecting the shower to not be too hot the shower dude i just nutted a massive load at school everyone's looking at me should i just show the pig so everyone nuts and i don't stand out anymore what the hell what are your kids doing during social distancing they're hanging out oh i asked this man if you needed help he replied that he was waiting for his wife so he could scare her he wants to give her a heart attack and collect the life insurance money hey bro nice what was she doing there she has a a german circus is using holograms instead of live animals for a cruelty-free magical experience and it's cool it's just not the same without the cruelty okay but i want to go to that circus though only humans are excited boobs other mammals humans oh yes man damn horse i love slurping i'm divorced again i hate that i have to vocally say these out loud k-pop album covers be like this bird it looks like a hentai protagonist so that's how ikea gets their meatballs oh no what if mrs incredible actually got a small booty but she keeps it perpetually stretched so that it just looks big if you had the ability to change the shape of your ass like that with that degree of control you could fart any note on command you could play an entire symphony after a plate of broccoli beef you would be able to literally sing or whistle out of your [ __ ] with vibrato you could use your butt to do a single person duet with your mouth could you just not had to delete someone else's comment eat jessica's family i already ate her family i'm coming for jessica now kaijeet stole nothing kajit is innocent of this crime damn it khajiit i told you to stop following the kids this photo made me laugh harder than i probably should have the doctor after i pee in that little cup the moment the doctor finds out you have kidney stones crunch i want a bouncy house at my funeral and i want to be in it too when all my friends jump my lifeless body will jump with them what fun it's all fun and games until your bloated corpse it's a little too hard and ruptures covering your friends in your partially digested last meal new adventure let's go first enemy let's get him shook welcome to dark souls poor link poor link in the what the blender sometimes when i'm too lazy to get up and moisturize my lips i just stick a finger in my coochie and use it like vaseline what a freaking nightmare you people are jesus satan so you're telling me she gets free lipstick once a month oh hallucinating florida man swings sledgehammer at demons damaging several homes including his own i don't know what he could have mistaken for demonic activity it's not like there is an altar drenched in blood exactly 13 feet down a hidden trapdoor in my shed said vorthol the soul render a local resident i like the one who wants to be dominated wants to be dominated will dominate you we'll ask you to be gentle make chicken what does mcchicken do mick one you pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone all i did was edit his mom's contact hope she likes to pick some booty calls oh blurst interview where the f is my mom on my plate where she belongs murderer any last words me thanks murderer huh why would i thank myself oh no if i microwave my head will i get super powers hey you never know if you don't try thanks notch violent sex offender captured i'd let them offend me wait when your teachers say he will call your parents but you're an orphan pulls out a freaking ouija board uranus our anus you can fit 53 earths inside 54 if you relax 2020 outfit of the month january february march spoiler alert april is just a coffin what is the stupidest thing your parents did on the internet became verified on pornhub oh choose wisely you have been visited by the permit crab you may do one bad thing today phew drags body out of closet the the cow's utters are actually a pig where was its head how to out pizza the hut and dominoes but better don't forget that you just gave me your address josh good uh good creator though and videos very good if you got to pick one video game that you would live in for the rest of your life what game would you pick and why alright who the f wish for plague inc high pressure cleaning did you mean pleasure a normal conversation cannibalism will both solve world hunger and overpopulation and if you are eating the poor it will solve poverty oh no homie got stuck in the handrail and everybody came out to take pictures instead of helping him out what are you doing step bro when the porn is loading and you see a reflection on the screen but you also see your father's behind you i told you not to start without me my penis your penis is removable the sheath is his foreskin i swear i can hear roll 34 artists laughing suspiciously in the background seeing a ruler in your son's bedroom seeing markings at nine inches realizing that he was using it backwards realizing it's lubed oh i make sandwiches for my students who can't afford breakfast during finals everyone liked that yeah but why on pornhub for the peanut i'm starting to wonder what the sandwiches are made of now especially since this is on pornhub bathroom with a glass floor over abandoned elevator shaft imagine just taking a dump and someone manages to get into the old elevator shaft and they look up at you like oh first graders after taking shots of gatorade from the bottle cap ah the old anti-freeze swap always gets them oh no time to buy a new sister me listen to a song my sister oh this is a tick tock song they stole it from tick me i'm not a child murderer but if you're buying a new sister can i have the old one she's dead remember still good god i hate these two casually approached child how do you do fellow kid step three take the skeleton to add to yours richard what the hell are you doing i've been looking for you everywhere i can explain i don't want to hear your dumb excuses imagine how a sock feels watching its partner used as a [ __ ] sock aroused this means so much more today bad news buddy you are now the softest thing in the house oh no me irl i sure do love pizza i hope nobody comes on it free ranch dressing how the frick do you talk to girls walk up to them and press a oh i was pressing b act weird the whole time could be worse imagine you pressed x for stealth kill toilet paper shortage alternatives number three escalator handrail make sure you don't take too long and all the crap gets stuffed back up here north korea confirms it has landed a man on the sun nasa scientists it might seem crazy what i'm about to say well america landed the sun on japan a lot of years ago so good on their level expert mode easy mode sandpaper hell mode canvas equals creative mode bare hands survival mode cat plus block equals [ __ ] per plus cube equals pube thank you for coming to my ted talk uh you're not welcome me i'm really excited about our date i've been saving up all week for it her that's so sweet of you but i really don't mind splitting the bill me i'm not talking about money we won't have dessert here i'll give you a cream pie at home thomas has not explored this hole yet no please anything but anything but the doggo classifications of science if it responds it's biology if it reacts it's chemistry if it resonates it's physics if she breathes she's a thought well then my girlfriend isn't the thought hold up no thoughts allowed once you read the cover with thoughts instead of girls that jump rope in her hand starts looking really suspicious i used to get stephen hawking and tony hawk confused what the f understandable they both loved ramps when a baby on board sticker is a little faded and beat up you know the kid is at least a year or two old now and the car is safe to ram hold up guess you finally figured my trick out i gave my 91 year old grandpa two light bulbs and he called it a lifetime supply now i'm sad at least he still has his humor tumor still one of the greatest photos of all time tyler number 19 we sucked your ding-dong in high school do you remember us god it says not here do you know how sexy it is when he teases you in bed with a bird leaf girl you mean a feather love it when he licks my chest mountains and shoves his urine cannon into my baby tunnel naked girl gets 500 likes in five minutes let's see how much a veteran can get depends on if he shows me his your future self is talking crap about you jokes on him i'll freaking ruin his life jokes on him i'll freak his mom god's the best artist this is some of his abstract art god i cannot wait to read the cursed comments about how i've sexually confused you all while doing that voice okay moving on hopefully this fits bell delphine is freaking ugly you'll just have low standards man at this point my standards are one is the person female two is she alive does it always matter if she's alive because if not i got a girl for you when i accidentally step on my cat's tail my cat when he steps on my balls gotcha sucka well you chopped his off it's revenge 14 year old student builds an atomic bomb as a science project we will watch your career with great interest young one the only reason they picked though was that they were too afraid of the consequences of if they didn't pick her you're right she probably would have blown the school to hell oh geez man let me pull out my summer impression for this one so you're not my brother the pornhub theme intensifies i really hate that i can do that i really hate it oh look at how cute they're holding their babies in the front that's adorable they really be coming up with new designs for bulletproof vests that's so messed up he's fast she's weird i knew that sounded familiar puberty hit dash like a truck so did those bullets dash did get pretty hot though a cave in france has the footprints of an 8 to 10 year old boy left in the mud 26 000 years ago alongside the paw prints of either a wolf or a large dog the oldest evidence of human canine relationships ever found well you won't know that it was besides the boy just the wolf that followed him stalking him and its footprints were next to the boy it def ate that child it definitely ate child your child is being eaten by a camel do you a save your child or b take a photo take a photo obviously i definitely take the photo presumably it will be easier to make another kid than it would be to get another photo like this you're not wrong what is something that you didn't do but is making you feel guilty never picked up my son from camp last summer wondering all the little tykes doing smart people have poor eyesight because lower graphics make your brain run faster stephen hawking has closed all background tasks for more fps seriously the audacity this is how my night's going how about you why'd you block me on twitter cause you cheated on me five times three but okay harry potter and the audacity of this snitch sir you shot 16 civilians in the street 14 but okay okay it was only 14 and only three died rose's search history how to choke a necklace man what's black hot and seven inches long i don't freaking know please i just want to be the top post my life is slowly falling apart my wife just left me claire i still love you baby unfortunately i think claire is the one who knows that answer about chicka wow wow hey man we used to play back in the halo 3 in reach days my gamer tag was server tron and i am namelog sorry jason died of heart attack four years ago i'm his younger brother wanna play it's enough to make a grown man cry comp lobbying cod friendly fire on tell your brother i said hello we kissed ordering gay potion from the dark web this is why condoms were invented yeah this guy got cancelled so like can we just remove his channel please if soap smells good but tastes horrible how do we know poop doesn't taste like candy hmm nope can confirm it tastes like poop i don't know if i should catch it or apologize cook it cook it right now they don't tell you this in the newer pokemon games but it's canon that pokemon are eaten for food in pokemon both tauros and slowpoke tail are a delicacy the last of us part 2 is rumored to be the tale of bloody revenge against a homophobic christian cult can i play as the cult what why your mom gets a new boyfriend panic he's a gamer cam he's the guy who beat you at halo 12 years ago and said he's gonna freak your mom oh god just bang his girl now that's nuclear revenge this deep-fried burger explodes with cheese when you take a bite the day i bite a burger and not in my mouth i'm shooting up the block i can agree that's probably what i'm going to do i want to start a company that makes both coffins and condoms the slogan would be we got you covered whether you are coming or going ay you could also sell donuts and be named cremator real that's so messed up but that sounds like a good donut oh wait no no it doesn't why do guys always announce when they're going to come oh i've never had that happen to me brooke olson that's why you have a child in your profile pic should have been not silly should have had him wrap his willy okay i'm done my voice is so shot from doing that i hate myself what is considered punishment as a child but a reward as an adult death take me please there's so many bills to pay now it worked the population is decreasing delphine is like my dad he comes back when he needs money damn straight but who doesn't love some belledelphine simpin teachers when a kid is a few seconds late because his parents freaking died how dare you be late to my class teachers when they are 20 minutes late because they were getting coffee oh it's okay i'm the teacher it's cool brah who would bother going to school if their parents died then their efforts who need that perfect attendance where i live you legally have a week to not come to school if your parents siblings last child i guess died someone might abuse this law i might have abused that lull i'm not i'm not gonna lie i might i might still i might move there seriously what are you supposed to do when you're watching a movie when your parents and a sex scene comes on i always call my dog in peta while acting like i'm not paying attention to the movie why do sex scenes always make him think of the dog and why are we always out of peanut butter after these scenes would you rather test positive for covid 19 or pregnancy it don't matter both of them will be gone at 14 days boo one way or the other you hopefully you're crushed soon oh thanks man i also hope a white dragon sucks my [ __ ] soon behold the one commandment bro is a gender term and dude and dude don't forget dude so you freak dudes and bros i would say damn straight bros but the narrator's still a virgin my life is sad i disagree with the ads around this video your penis size is fine as is legend remember what a needle can do a sword can't that's right ear sex she won't hear it coming me watching pawn and my earbuds getting accidentally unplugged pornhub's auto pause when earbuds are removed my grandma's who needs porn you're already at the funeral old ladies and coffins my favorite what's the weirdest thing you did while you were almost unlocked the basement don't do that they'll wake up believe me they're already aware my fear is they'll escape when you meet your fbi guy during a riot then you see him slowly raise his rifle your smile falters fred buddy what are you doing my job jim you heard him say as you felt a piercing pain through your chest as your vision fades you hear him whisper one last time i'm sorry i'm sorry my mom literally cried when i cut my hair short she was like oh no you look like a boy now your femininity no just wait until i get my new purple [ __ ] and then i'll allow you to complain to me about losing my femininity why you cocked purple because i want to have a purple one if i'm paying 10k for this surgery i may as well get it dyed purple too you should add special cups filled with strawberry frosting inside the ball sack so when you ejaculate it will shoot out tasty frosting that that does sound a lot better than what gets shot out normally chunky hedgehog and her babies they look like what i imagine guy fiorari's testicles look like thank you for ruining this for me when you find a used condom under the bed years later how many people are in that i wanted to say one but then i saw a third foot oh dear god fricker stole his forehead can't have crap in detroit bro is is that colonel sanders leading them kentucky fried foreskin we put the d in delicious predators after bullying a kid into suicide for liking fortnite now that's what i call a victory royale boys hey at mcdonald's roast us aerial view of wendy's restaurant set on fire in elena mcdonald's just making sure wendy stayed fresh never frozen that's fair 37 seconds are we just gonna forget this scene rats are unable to gag or throw up so this dude's soup is so bad that it broke the rules of nature eh no gag reflex huh how'd you find that out gas station in germany 1958 better than the 1942 gas stations i told my parents i'm bisexual now they tell people they have a bison i told my parents i'm gay and now i'm being sent to work camp in northern kazakhstan oh that was not appropriate my sister watches belle delphine and she wants to become like her so anyway i'm doing a child giveaway don't take her take her please one one potato one potatoes all i need she's useless from r slash hold up this snitch said watching porn is cheating because it got girls in it who said anything about girls yeah man goats are fun goats are real fun how to get killed by police 101 more like how to hide your phone at school if you don't speak the language of the country you are traveling to wear this shirt i'm imagining someone trying to rob a bank or do hostage negotiations with this shirt me after pushing the wheelchair kid in the fire and calling him hot wheels alright if your username is the answer what's the question organic hot dog what do you like shoving up your butt mmm i do too but only when they're frozen why does this baguette have a face the baby is inbred he's from the country i miss the internet approaches you nervously um hi erection gross noticeably are you ready for some fun giggles evilly frick you eat uranium are you ready second tick well now i am after two years of workout training i'm so happy you'll pull the michael jackson on us alcohol because no great story ever started with a glass of milk why is the old man holding a giant brown spam you've never seen dragon ball have you buddy watch angry monkey throws poop at girl doing a tick tock dance monkey is with us last time i did this things didn't go very well the inside of a turtle's mouth oh dear god r slash don't put your dick in that too late that's gonna be a little tickly on your dickily do you sleep naked why or why not yes all the time i don't worry about anyone breaking in because the side of my extremely hairy naked body running towards them with a sword i keep my mind would probably put them in therapy for the rest of their lives play as ratchet and a mysterious new female lombax from another dimension did i mispronounce that's been a while since i played those games you've got to release a name it's too hard to find her on rule 34 without an official name man i need my game pawn my child just went outside to play nerf war with his friends as i got to my room i noticed the drawer where i keep the gun is empty your kid is really good enough he's definitely winning i'm addicted to gum i don't know why but i just love gum i can't get away from it the taste is great and it's so satisfying help come no no no no i said gum my 72 year old mother just informed me she is going to her first sex party and doesn't know what to bring after some delicate questioning gender reveal mom it's called a gender reveal baby oil would have been an appropriate answer either way i'm ready to die now please pennywise reimagine as busty anime girl and new figure well mark me down as scared and horny pennywise will be swallowing more kids damn she is looking pretty fine though manfield is telephone one of the deadliest weapons of all time damn i got the chills thinking of the atrocities that happen on this thing spooky and scary hitler's phone sex i know what i must do seven-year-old me at 2am debating if i should hold my piss till morning or run down the hall and risk an attack from a demon or piss on the demon to assert dominance two birds one stone stab wound i think you mean extra pocket hey look it's the same icon as our big brother channel mk you should go check that out go look it up seriously do it sea of tranquility girls during puberty boys during puberty and together you make a poke ball one of my potatoes hatched i wonder what kind of fries you can make with that potato hmm i'm curious now too what is the worst possible response to i'm pregnant not for long just take a step over to the stairs sweetheart your dick can't tell the difference so why all the fuss if your dick can't tell the difference between a horse and a woman you have a serious problem theoretically you'd have to know how a horse feels like as well to make a comparison so what you're actually saying is if you've never done it with a horse you have a serious problem well the bronies will be happy hospitals introduce sperm extractors for people who don't want to masturbate if i wanted to stick my dick into something the general public has been using i just get back with my ex-girlfriend how weird and gross yeah please tell me which hospitals have these nasty machines so i can avoid them the skittle ads are getting out of hand you're not wrong your crush her ex her father her mother her brother you blip i like how the bottom two are the same spongebob squarepants and monarchy are you ready kids patchy the pirate mutters as he hugs the cold lifeless bodies of the kids that drown looking for a pineapple under the sea i can't hear you he weeps hoping it was all some sort of sick dream what's something you say in a starbucks that you can also say during sex why did this cost so much people who actually jerk off to only fans how is it different from other porn sites i know the girl irl family support is always good to hear take a shed load of muscle relaxants take a deep long breath shove the entire titanic up my booty why me why my post i don't know my dude i'm surprised how close it's possible to get to his car i did not think they let people get this close to be honest the car is armored beyond belief the windows are five inches thick and there's an entourage of security around him the days of jfk's open top lincoln continental are long gone so is jfk my real question is why does donald trump kind of look happy in this photo that's a little scary happy birthday mom and dad how they got the same birthday they're twins eh it's hard to take down a video with only one hand masturbation boosts your immune system and raises your white blood cell count helping you fight off infection and illness i will single-handedly defeat the coronavirus four horsemen of cute walking hitler should have been on here no no he should not have but the alligator the alligator is kind of cute if she's able to walk with her two legs after sex you failed as a man that's why i always keep a hammer besides my bed just in case in who cares news i've lost 183 pounds over the last 18 months so that's cool i guess always nice to see someone lose weight in a healthy way what are some unhealthy ways to lose weight self-amputation four horsemen of cute walking bunny possum or el possum little kitty you i'm in a wheelchair well then you're the four horsemen of the wheeling around buddy memes if china loses war means if india loses war means if usa joins war means if ussr is rebuilt means if north korea nukes south korea means if hitler returns from zigulag how to beg for mercy in chinese how to beg for mercy in hindi xi jinping nudes for blackmail hmm the sacred texts i'm interested in the uh xi jinping nudes for research purposes that's it that's it let me just uh unzip my pants real quick tell me a story about yourself that sounds like a lie but is absolutely true both my wife and i were adopted as babies and neither of us found out until both sets of our parents died we later did separate searches for our birth parents and found out we are siblings we've yet to tell our four kids and just might not ever i don't think they should know ooh how to get free air pods one i cut the wires of regular apple earbuds and wore them at school two the school confiscated them three when i went to get them back i took somebody else's real airpods and that's how i got ear herpes hearing aids nice what movie or television show would be better if the word sexual was added in it alien versus sexual predator the arc of noah rebuilt in kentucky it has the same measurement with the biblical arc of noah the ark 510 feet long and 100 million dollars was spent for the construction my guy is there something you're not telling us reddit what is the worst joke that's made you laugh a woman is pregnant and goes into labor she gives birth to a baby boy the doctor takes him away for a moment to clean him up as he's bringing it back he stops and throws the baby on the floor and starts stomping its head oh my god that's my son what are you doing the lady screams the doctor starts laughing then takes a breath and says i'm just kidding it was already dead oh why can't barbie get pregnant because ken comes in a different box i do not care for barbie she creates unrealistic expectations about women in my experience no woman's head reattaches that easily our slash cursed comments we did it boys parents stories is no more parents telling me that they walked 10 kilometers to school me telling my kids that i survived a global pandemic i am sorry to inform you but you are a redditor and most likely you will not have kids or a girlfriend i have kids in my basement does that count deep fake president kennedy discusses rick and morty it makes sense that he's a rick and morty fan his brain was so big it covered an entire car after all everything is cake the year is 20 30. bakery yard is so realistic anything could be a cake the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear i go hug my wife for comfort she is cake this takes eating her out to a whole new level happy cake day indeed be mine i am already yours for life for one week eating a mango not just the mango but the woman go and the children go to master skywalker there's too many of them what are we going to do anakin opens mouth just been made aware of how swan's hug starts choking its prey ah yes fun fact vader is actually um it means father henceforth you shall be known as doth daddy oh darth daddy force choked me harder i've been a bad little padawan oh no a german circus is using holograms instead of live animals for a cruelty-free magical experience and it's cool imagine introducing those hologram animals together ladies and gentlemen presenting the german hollow cast you only like the pen clicking noise when you are the one making it same logic as masturbating in public human brain versus dolphin brain nice collection bro if you laugh at other people's conditions you will be like them in the future bill gates lamow bill gates is a billionaire lamau hitler lamao you meet a cool girl on reddit you start playing games together she has an amazing voice she's cute and funny and hot she likes you and wants to meet you you wake up and she's still there how do you even meet people on reddit you dm them you two talk you like each other you share personal information you meet you kill them you inherit their multi-million dollar corporations make it grow even bigger become famous but no one ever knows the real story what if your first name was holden and your last name was barry's and you'd be like i'm holding berries and everyone would think you're holding berries lumo excuse me sir i feel attacked holden [ __ ] oh i can turn water into wine that sounds great for parties but not much use in a fight humans are 60 water cracking open the boys for a cold one if being sexy was a crime i'd be serving a life sentence a life sentence for a crime you didn't commit if being sexy was a crime i'd be still serving 90 years for four counts of armed robbery two counts of assault and battery seven counts of vehicular manslaughter and treason against the united states why are crocodiles thick because the children were slow matt is asking my dad for his permission to marry me i love this man what your father say over my dead body dick pics me after telling a group who are a person on the internet that i'm a girl send them each other's dick pics i'm sorry approach her and ask if you can get the [ __ ] you spelled eat wrong no my hamster has to lose its eye and john sent me this her eye is fully shut now i think she won't be able to use that eye again sad face and then a sad face missing an eye come on come on john something is wrong with elmo while the hospital administrator applauds elmo for volunteering as an organ donor at the same time she is curious as to where he obtained 37 fresh human kidneys the children are fast but elmo is faster oh charity what free meal to anyone over 80 years old if accompanied by both parents walks in with two urns didn't say they had to be alive i'm sorry everyone but garfield is dead you cannot sexualize him anymore that's where you're wrong no glowing nightlight lamp with removable glow balls for trips to the bathroom imagine going to the bathroom and coming out with a ass no me tells offensive joke at the dinner table me my dad my sister my grandma my brother my mom where's grandpa lost after killing hitler remember when hercules made himself a girlfriend out of clay and the first thing she did after getting a free will was dump him and then along came zeus i'm starting to think the military is basically high school bunch of kids with machine guns making tick tocks girl slaps me girl are you gonna hit a gir me wife stabs me wife you won't hit a girl would you me pulls chainsaw out of the closet me time for you to say hello to the people in our basement hmm necrophilia on a new level i don't like that myth the highest honor in gaming is beating a kid so hard they rage quit fact the highest honor in gaming is beating a kid so hard he sends you a friend request the highest honor in video games is beating a kid so hard that he finds out where you live and shoots the [ __ ] out of you name someone hotter than justin bieber probably anyone to be honest he looks like a roofer to disappear on payday after you give him his check hotter than justin bieber the central port of buret six days ago when your dad says you can't swear but that you see his tv show where is the tit sauce father i craved the titty juice killing my dad next video calling dead dad at 3am i thought it was a new lo-fi hip-hop radio anne frank's diary an animated feature film that is shockingly similar to that image though 20 years of repeat attempts and a few pieces lost along the way but finally finished this 3d puzzle of manhattan i have bad news for you we all don't matter well boys we did it racism is no more no lives matter all brains splatter nothing is better than watching hentai after winning the piston cup race says lightning mcqueen you have to name him after what you last ate what's his name dog well mine would have been donut and honestly i'll gladly name a cute dog donut any day my sister congratulated me for earning a lot of money online me who was running an only fans account with her nudes but how do you have her nudes i took them through my father's secret peephole japanese police shoot paintballs at fleeing vehicles so other police can see the vehicle and identify it later if it gets away the paint is bright orange and difficult to remove after fleeing police take your own paintball gun and shoot all the parallel flowing traffic so as to throw them off if you pee and you nut at the same time is that a peanut your body takes a screenshot who lives in a pineapple under the sea wrong answers only malaysian airlines flight 103 oh no this window turns everything into pixels the japanese glass i hate spotify ads cause i listen to podcasts in the shower and there's nothing scary than being naked and hearing lebron james say i'll tell you what makes me thirsty never mind that these newts produce a toxin 10 000 times deadlier than cyanide oh no i'm so poisonous it would be a shame if someone ate my ass under irish law if you kill someone with a traditional weapon after a disagreement that is murder what if you use a phillips flathead screwdriver 10 millimeter diameter which color handle uh red well now it's red what life-changing item can you buy for less than 100 condoms my dad's biggest regret ruin a video game by changing one letter in the title the legend of zelda a kink between worlds they said ruin not improved hot sauce my dick hurts diary of a wimpy kid the last straw no young men aren't having sex because they'd rather play video games because the goulai gives me a second chance after being done in the first 30 seconds blurst shrek ethnicity estimate 68 check 29 egyptian 2 percent african 1 vatican gender female so i'm not gay after all shrek republic [ __ ] sock no i didn't have one of those i just used my blank s-i-s-t-e-r why girl i lost my virginity oh my god you did what was he like are you happy we're all so proud of you i can't wait to meet him i swear i had sex no you didn't nobody believed me the first time i had sex but luckily my sister helped assure everyone that i did blow my mind all of my life choices led me to making this meme and all of your life choices led you to reading it so you're telling me my four accounts of vehicular manslaughter led up to this very moment chinese man spends four hundred thousand dollars to buy a slaughterhouse and saves two thousand dogs snack time me at school in the hallway me steps on only the brown squares teacher why me i am a bot and this action was performed automatically imbecile you are only supposed to step on the white squares oh the police disagrees that would be funny an 18 year old can legally adopt a 17 year old what are you doing step dad blurst stitch muscle stitch those are his victims oh a new type of virus which is likely to be passed to be infected after bite by ticks is emerging in china with more than 60 people infected and at least seven killed the 2021 teaser is released it's funny because he doesn't have a nose so what does he need the tissues for oh would you rather have 1.5 million dollars or 1.5 million loyal friends what am i going to do with 1.5 million friends germans invade poland at 4 45 a.m some 1.5 million german troops invade poland all along with its 1750-mile border ask each of your 1.5 million friends for five dollars i'm pretty sure each of their kidneys are worth far more than just five dollars when you carry your personal cloud everywhere you go as a retired retoucher this is officially my favorite post of the year so far retired retoucher you're an ex-priest what are the mario brothers views on human trafficking mario says luigi says cha-ching luigi says if you've got a stash you're worth some cash sex sex is like math you add the bed subtract the clothes divide the legs and pray you don't multiply me who sucks at math instruction's unclear ripped one of her legs off 245 the doctor after the urine test no my grandpa's last words were don't move the ladder you little [ __ ] he was a wonderful man oven i need foreplay baby give me some time to warm up for you microwave shove it in raw i don't give a [ __ ] finish in two minutes what do you consider is your greatest sexual achievement having slept with my wife in over a year and still had a baby apparently sperm can survive for a long time in the uterus and when this happens the color of the baby's skin gets darker oh no buddy as a son of immigrants this hits me home growing up bilingual be like my dad legal documents seven year old me doing my best to translate it says you have 47 allegations dead oh no someone black cats are bad luck get it away black cats i miss my black cat x's got her break her legs and kneecaps and retrieve the real [ __ ] and well ladies and gentlemen just like that we have reached the end of our slash cursed comments thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button on the bell so you're notified of these of easy uploads and until the next one i'll see you around [Music] uh i i don't i don't even know what i'm looking at here hold on pizzeria yeah no nope yeah no well i don't know is that what that was supposed to be pointing at electro world all white center oh no alterations a rep a repair amazon gift card seed 10 i i i'm i'm already lost app rent ice ships oh oh apprenticeships um well to undo this you just gotta turn it this way but just kidding you have to turn it this way but no actually this way but actually okay so this graph you can uh the percentage can go outside of the box but why incoming space rock the monster asteroid 1998 or2 will skim past earth on april 29th oh wait uh is it is it um is it supposed to be showing the sizes compared to the asteroid interesting is uh is that door made out of um the same metal that like storage units are made out of what the hell is this it's a tornado it's a tornado graph bad does nay mini rhona badgers sport team and raccoon sport team are they are they different are they the same or ah yes my favorite bar codes are the ones uh that are wrinkled and you can't even scan yeah check it out my sync has a little mini counter that you can hardly put anything on it's great step two battery charging uh i don't i don't get it that's not what our plugs look like here in america um the blanket in this look and find book is right on the crease nice expert mode ah yes a blind sign so that blind people can see it ah yes the beach body challenge featuring numbers you can't even read at the bottom oh oh that is that is awful that is bad i don't like this i i hate two-face here darkness light compensation point bright light why is bright light in the moonlight what a bus stop on the sidewalk nice one on speaking of sidewalks there's bushes on this sidewalk so you you can cross the street but you're gonna have to cross the bushes i will never understand how this happens there's a shelf or a cupboard here right yeah let's put a let's put a counter in front of it there's a footpath to carl's jr at the drive-through cats sleep 16-18 hours per day what's the point of the graphs chainsaw massacre salon excuse me um let's go to china [ __ ] for dinner tonight day banana banana day um oh man okay the person on the right looks pretty alright you know the the it's fine it's a cartoon character but on the left what's with the big old black eyes i have this book about humans apparently they decided to put dark red text over a black background and on top of that i'm color blind and had to use my lamp combined with a ceiling light just to read it how corona germs enter in your premises one by infected person entrance two if infected person snooze three buy a small droplet liquid i just had a stroke oh no uh-uh i don't like that four colorful crochet face mask good luck blocking out any any bad stuff ah nice good opening to get dog biscuits out of oh no i don't know about the most beautiful lingerie it doesn't no log in to access your account driver rider those should be swapped eat the sheep burn the fat reset possible the word cancer is cut off end childhood can oh my god ah yes let me call you on my fap phone fat fat yeah i want a wristband that says fat on it like dude come on i already know here it is again here it is again a fence that literally serves no purpose because you can just walk around oh no is that like a what is that is this scales all over the ferrari no it just looks like this guy's flipping you off jesus christ ah yeah i love this random fire hydrant just chilling just sitting there oh no what what what happened to this race car i'm what excuse me is that a snake in the background wha what's happening i took black iced tea forest fruit plus you but wait um me how are you supposed to get eye to the garage oh how you're supposed to get into the garage that's a great question you just got to go around gill g glill grill i would assume grill i would hope grill oh oh no it's a glasses case and the cat eh poor cat glowing in greece is that what i'm supposed to say i thought i said growing in cheese like cheese rtx off rtx on well i guess i've had rtx on the whole time what is up with that bear uh happy i know it says happy birthday but let's just let's just read it hello happy if uh ah yes i can totally read this white text on the bright yellow plastic um i i don't know if you're aware but um the hdmi cable is upside down it's not going to go in if you try and push it in like that i can't open my bathroom cabinet all the way because of this heater well how does this always happen how does it guys it frustrates me here comes the flowers also look at that good boy in the background i'm a a yort what's your superpower all right look j jbelvin your design's great you know the the it looks cool and all that but come on that hat literally just has a png of your design on it uh you didn't even make an attempt to warp it or uh you know make the perspective correct you know what's wrong with your hands you look they're very big germany corona virus reproduction number rises again what's with the karl marx uh i don't know what that says oh my god what is this keychain what is that supposed to be i don't is it is it a windmill it's a windmill king kebab pizza what's with the king did they couldn't they couldn't just reprint the king part and they had to like do it themselves and paint it t is for turtle k is for night n is for night time these are very confusing to look at also in the top right peepee i'm confused so this is like a it's a ladybug action figure it's just like a crappy mcdonald's happy meal toy or something lay immated edition letter elevator oh it's not even an order at all at all why switching the trigger orientation on a product we tend to blind fire oh cool album but it cuts into the lyrics page and you can't read some of the words oh yeah what the hell make money from home uh that's a that's a big 100 bill that's a that's a big benjamin right there mountain warehouse sizes things as two to three years when they're for seven eight year olds and don't tell you until you receive your gigantic oversized items that won't fit your infant wow no bikes if only i didn't have to like really look at this to understand what it was trying to tell me when you can't draw hands yeah i just i do this too when i want to hide my hands i just kind of like shove them in my stomach no parking fire lane yet there's a bunch of parking spots there what are you what are you what are you giving me mixed messages here no phones or food don't even think about it no is thirter you what dude they turned ocd into a game what order ahead and receive one of each three plain two cinnamon raisin two honey whole wheat two blueberry two sesame two asiago bagels but one liz's luxury looks independence consultant for paparazzi accessories wow this i'm sorry liz but this is uh this is a bad design park signs can't make up their mind please clean up after your pets no pets in this area part artist part therapist part stylist all fabulous beauty hair stylist appreciation day piopio polipli r you know this graph is almost okay except for the fact that the 50 and the 70 are like the same size pisd say no to drugs and alcohol what the hell does the pisd stand for 30 second plank ground yes it's one day you will be as strong as this man where you can just lift his legs off the ground like that oh god the these are never not frustrating how how do you do that how do you mess up that badly and put the light in the road what is this machine portal ti plus is is it a bank machine atm i'm confused oh yeah good idea have the uh have the power near the water pipe good thinking i've never seen such an awful tv guide design yeah like let's let's put all these shows here right but no let's actually put two ads uh right next to each other and they're both advertising the same thing preg made test nancy tghch c g t s e t e g h what pregnancy test that's what it's supposed to say oh no you're just trying to print out some little designs and uh oh that's a lot of wasted ink raccoon removal what's the bat doing there oh dude i've always wanted a skittle shower like melted skittles dude yeah oh take a look at this ramp doesn't go anywhere but it's a ramp oh god that is disgusting what is on that fork uh you know what i don't even want to know we're just going to go to the next image what ricky gervais hates about flying if you crash you die what a thumbnail i mean he's not wrong though ah yes good good thinking let's put a freaking pole in on the sidewalk i've never seen a shower design like this it just dips into the ground because why not what what's up with this shower head it looks like a freaking lamp like literally what why is that in the inside the house what the beam the beard i thought there's an elephant in the room oh man thank god this thing's solar powered but i don't i don't think it's getting much solar power my guy all right this whole image is giving me a headache so you got the stairs that are carpeted you got the tile floor below it you got an exposed pipe right there this is this is really not good so this said the perfect vacation shorts i guess they're making a joke like staycation like you know stay at home because you know um but they cut out they crossed out the ac so it's the perfect vestay asian shorts dallas cowboys sneakers limited edition except they're actually for the steelers what the heck is this thing stop that's what it says that's what i want this subreddit to do i actually can't even read what that says does that say storage made ease easier that's what that says wow okay this star wars puzzle had 33 extra pieces uh not only that but jedi i could barely even tell that's what that said hey uh dude i don't i don't think that's how you uh i don't think that's how you eat a taco it's like more how you eat a hot dog even then i'd recommend turning a hot dog sideways that's just going to cause you a lot of pain if your teenager is looking for a job to make extra money they should cook and that's it why is this pumpkin thick oh man i tell you quarantine's getting to me i'm about to act up don't miss the summer's hottest sale on the biggest thickest thirstiest towels on the beach no other towels can compare with this is my place alright first of all i loved these as a kid they were so fun if i had one now i would still be obsessed with it i i would i would i would mess with it all the time but uh both the trains are preventing so much space to draw awful did you know every 3000 sheets of paper cost us a re it's your choice for this the owner needs to sign in if this is a trial game or app that expired buy it from the microsoft store close or help tripod grill and lantern hanger twinkle twinkle little star dream come true make a wish oh what the hell is that what is this thing that i am being subjected to ah i don't like this image it just has a very threatening unnerving aura to it not a fan huh cool fallout watch i guess but something about it it seems off uh is anyone going to tell them that the webcam is backwards no i'm not going to we're here you westwood barber and hair salon haircut for men women and children what's with the stretched images oh boy more white text on a bright yellow background wine poor vine cork i'm i'm utterly confused you know these images almost worked but then the boots had to block uh the rest of the image oh that's a pothole i gotta imagine whoever put this here must really hate bikers because whenever they ride over this they're definitely going to break a bone hey kids come play with me because if you don't i'll haunt your dreams introducing america's fall the destruction of america brought to you by sc johnson a family company hey elkland old folk asked is this a nursing home is it a prison is it a school i don't want my kids going to old folks ass uh yeah man just put a balcony over that second floor but sir the balcony wouldn't even be accessible no no this is exactly how i wanted to be oh cool you got yourself a uh beach life golf cart no wait a second that doesn't say beach life that says life what does that even mean yeah bro i'm living the blair life it's stupid it's stupid it's so stupid but he who you are and not who the world wants you to be i think i did a good job reading that sewer cover on the bicycle track wide enough for the wheels to get stuck oh that is that is a lawsuit waiting to happen for a second i was looking at this kid like why are they making that face but yeah if you're going to hold the skates by the blades you're going to make that face too like oh my hands are bleeding introducing the granny x in the blue arbol uh did i get the names right did i did i read them right that that's what i saw so yeah here are some references to help you identify where certain things are in japan we've got sumo wrestlers we've got the mountains and we've got oh god this is terrible these sandals with bottle openers at the bottom so you can walk in dirt all day and then open a beer bottle just hope you don't step in any dog poop oh what are you kidding about stepping in dog poop that adds to the flavor of the beer cock-a-doodle-doo the cow says moo [Laughter] is that creepy enough for you great good let's keep going look in to see the grand canyon tourists wait why would i want to see the tourists i want to see the grand canyon this walkway isn't made of bricks and slabs but poorly drawn bricks and slabs on concrete oh you weren't kidding about the poorly drawn this this is just awful you see i would like to read the ingredients but uh you know you know i can't see them so i guess next meme thanks for your crappy can design matter of fact no that thing could have like all types of drugs in it like they could say 20 cocaine and you would have no idea this is like the biggest scam i've ever seen i don't know what this product is but if it means i get to poke through the eyes of whoever's modeling for this product sign me up oh what beautiful censorship just full asterisk forex yeah just brilliant censorship this is the sit youth dreamers you darn right it is i think okay so this is just a big old bundle of words that you really don't want me to try and spell out what has really caught my attention is like the very first line it says up me up what is that supposed to say when i put my game cards in the game card case it can't close anymore well you took something that was mildly interesting and turned it into mildly infuriating congratulations you crappy designers i don't like this i don't like it one bit i can imagine going to this restaurant for the first time they'll just be like hey take a look at the menu i take a look at this monstrosity of a menu and just have a full-on panic attack like i can't read it i just can't it's too many colors too many fonts i just it's too much i'll just i'll just have the dirty black cherry chai why does that sound like why does that sound like the name of some type of porn introducing the dirty black cherry chai all right that's enough tangents for me next meme a razor blade holder and a bottle opener not a bad way to slice your hand while cracking open a cold one can you imagine just going up to your significant other with a bloody hand like honey i cut my hand open using the razor blade slash bottle opener seriously harold you gotta get rid of that thing uh yes the famous company ryuk thank the creamery you is it supposed to say thank you the creamery i ah just get it out of my face oh they knew what they were doing what with the long tee and the [ __ ] cooper sneaky little people but we know you knew do you have hep c now get hep c i i mean cured nice try nah you meant to say you get hep c twice welcome to stabby the barber we cut girls we cut men we even cut children he's stabby the barber he's gonna cut you up today is day a so even if this were to say today is a day that still wouldn't mean anything you could say that about any day in every sense of the phrase it's just a crappy design by took took chai right now dick me i refuse to believe that says click look at it closely that that that does not say click i thought it was dirty but it's just the design oh god what am i looking at here it looks like dried up cereal chunks are just embedded into the bowl just throw it away just get it out of the house to be womanly is always to be discouraged never what what is that supposed to mean oh goodness it looks like whenever hello kitty is filled with liquid you know it gets dispensed to the cup in a in a method that looks like peeing actually now that i think about it i bet there's a lot of people who'd want to buy this i mean all i'm saying is that there are a lot of creeps on the internet dr joe and burka ah doc your hand is not supposed to go there i mean really though this is a mess what is this a surprise prostate exam just yeah hey you should put a bumper sticker on your car i don't know maybe something about how much you like the beach oh i got a perfect idea i dog the seaside yeah it's perfect i love it beware dogs of thee you know you could actually fix a sign by just adding another word like if you added underworld to the end of the sentence it'd say beware dogs of the underworld which is something you should probably be aware of to come to an end don't is to create beginning uh i still don't get it this door handle attachment to combat coco 19 at the place i'm working hey guys instead of holding on to the door handle how about you just hold on to an extension which is essentially the same thing as holding on to the door handle i'm so smart i'm gonna get a promotion ah two door knobs touching nope i gotta treat these doorknobs like it's a middle school dance keep space in there for jesus frisky doorknobs oh god it's worse than i ever imagined crappy design and mildly infuriating coming together to attack us easy peasians this is an outrage i tell you is that earbud massive or is that hand very small hmm that's a that's a pretty good question what if and this is just a thought what if this is actually a speaker and it just looks like a giant earbud like you could imagine trying to put it in your own ear and it's just like and you immediately go deaf take it e-a-c-a wow and i thought we were the ones who didn't know how to spell easy well this is just perfect you can't see through the rear view window have fun crashing i guess wait a second no what what are people supposed to do if there's a fire you try using the fire escape you're gonna have to still jump about two floors this is this is just awful oh it looks so good except for that one eye you know they just can't get it together what a shame this has got to be the weirdest bodyguard i've ever seen stop right there citizen where do you think you're going fanta orange it's a classic iconic flavor inspiration in a bottle passion for life share every moment because embracing what makes you unique makes you cool thing ah shut up you're not even making sense hi welcome to the fart gym you know even if this had just said art gym what what the heck is an art gym what are you bench pressing mona lisa's i i'm just so confused you see if you have ocd i would totally recommend you don't use this bathroom it's just it's gonna make you so furious it makes me furious too i get it just just avoid this bathroom at all costs ah yes norway and finland are both located in africa canada is in south america italy is where canada should be and america is alaska mwah perfect bam bam is that you what happened to you man it's so hard to say goodbye to you easter bunny santa claus and this one guy we will forget you god is ooh all the time oh god i didn't know you were so so frisky me and all the embarrassing things i said and did in my youth oh wait i'm supposed to read it like they wrote it okay me and all the i things embarrassing said and did youth in my nailed it welcome to harley's room no girls allowed see that's why punctuation is important you wanted to say no girls allowed but you ended up saying no girls are allowed specifically specifically only girls are allowed in my room which by the time you're a teenager might actually be a true cinnamon grape tea everyone uh look at it it says grape tea there's a g before the r i promise you that the bar on the door really changes the website gutterglove.com now these guys can fix your gutter and provide protection for your gutters but the bar changes it to gutterlove.com which is a porn site okay that's not true it's actually a competing company but that's still not better this plastic handle with a metal part is connected to the metal handle arms which is connected to the pan so i can't hold the handles looks like somebody didn't take a class on heat distribution because yeah you're just gonna burn your hand if you try to grab that no imagine giving this plate to your kid here you go ho mom why would you say that about me okay so this is even worse imagine putting this up a sign that says there's no hoe like me please it's so awful that's like the worst thing i've seen today there's no hoe like me just just cut it off we're done wow people are really just failing today this is just this is a weird way to spell homo but you know what i'm down for it the imprint of commercial grade weakened the hose enough for a hole to easily occur huh talk about irony the one thing you brag about it being you know commercial grade up to par with the standards and whatnot and the one thing you use to brag about it is the one thing that weakens it to make it worse congratulations you played yourself hey hey hey everyone there's a huge kid sale on the fairgrounds friday saturday and probably not sunday because the fbi is going to shut us down but friday and saturday fifa 21 looks like a high schooler's class show and tell on their idol yep i i just looked it up that's the real cover and i'm just i don't i thought ea couldn't disappoint me anymore but they they managed to do it again help the toucan fly down the waterfall you know i would but the maze is rigged so that i can never get to the finish line sorry toucan looks like you're gonna have to drown you know for a sign that's supposed to say information their display is not very informative haha yes i'll put the nutrition facts on the inside of the label so that they'll have to drink it before they know what they're drinking by the way 30 of this coca-cola is urine enjoy movers usa please get us out of here hey hey quiet down you stupid family uh yeah movers usa where we don't kidnap people wait are these lego instructions 2x 66 67 what i can't make anything out of this this is a mess let's fight keep us corona safe virus well i mean if we have to fight i guess you know for a smartphone advertisement the marketing isn't that smart irony lives hot perfect but your nails can be is this supposed to say life's not perfect but your nails can be or is it supposed to say vibes not perfect but you're what what are you trying to say here man to people who love eat are always the best people oh you know what i think i know what you were trying to say you're trying to say to people who love to eat people are always the best people brought to you by cannibalism this map is so disorienting i don't even want to give it a lot of mental energy because i'll collapse on the floor i tell i will this bathroom mirror that completely blocks your face while standing in front of it not a problem for me i'm five foot five i'm the height of a child so this can never affect me joke's on you tall people not interested in joining today well you can buy it now for the discounted price of zero dollars and zero cents now pay for the dang game we've got the mom the kid and the monster she married have fun at laser tag welcome to new jersey you know what this is a fitting place for new jersey a crappy design for a crappy place boom take that new jersey you just got easy peasy so many shoes only two feet oh sorry i read that wrong so many shoes two only feet oh that's it looks so much stupider now you know i don't think that this model is actually wearing the pants something tells me that the editor just kind of photoshopped the pants onto the model i don't know about this one how am i able to talk so high i gotta stop doing this proud to be paper free we've gone green and replaced paper towels with hand dryers thank you for your support like a wise and invisible man once said are you sure about that dixie emilio's great photoshop oh would you look at that that beautiful photoshop there i love it my mario themed bath bomb makes it look like i'm bathing in pee yeah no that that definitely looks like pee ah the photo must be terrible quality i mean look at that logo oh wait what's that they printed the logo on all pixelated and messy is just so infuriating pokemon sword and pokemon shield yeah but that's smash so what are you doing here oh for the love of god let there not be a loose wire that'll turn this fun day at the lake into a complete massacre ah yeah i love this game it's poem on pokemon gotta catch em all somebody clearly had a panic attack and just started putting tiles wherever they could because this is a mess whoa whoa coming on a little strong there dude i don't think you need half of what's on this picture it's just it's way too jumbled is it race week or raw kik i don't care what anybody says this is definitely raw geek yeah we did such a good job with handicapped parking just you know right up the ramp up oh you can't do that y'all dang it oh wow i hope you guys feel good about yourselves you're like oh we did this handicap parking thing and we're so nice and then then you block the ramp so yeah congratulations you played yourself all right guys here's our emergency evacuation plan got it good have fun surviving the fire rich is her last name but i read it keep the politician rich keep keep sonja wheeler rich yeah nope that's exactly what it looks like oh and they got their three r's relatable reliable and responsible is it just me like i really don't like it when people call themselves relatable it's like no you gotta have other people call you that like if somebody called themselves humble it'd be like no you're not humble somebody's gotta call you humble you don't get to it's a mess i don't like it you know why even put a road here if you're just gonna create obstacles for it there's no point this stove is roasting the wall oh no that is a fire that's waiting to happen i promise you that this rubik's cube on a book ah no it's not even a completed rubik's cube it's all messy i i don't like it miss you uncle miss you uncle engraved memorial stone buy any two and get a third one free geez how many uncles are you gonna have to kill before you get your money's worth like this is a terrible deal you can drink ice cold pepper or drink ice cold salt your choice a noob's phone looks like this while a pros phone looks like this wait these these are the same graphs what are you trying to prove here introducing sand use your imagination to create more shapes handfuls of fun ah these babies look like they're having such a good time but they shouldn't have a good time because it's only allowed for people above the age of three and i'm gonna take a guess and say that these babies are not above the age of three oh man i love this game wait wait what did they do to the case oh my god this is ugly progressive is second place in their own ad haha that's right because company b is better than progressive this meme is brought to you by company b company b they're better than progressive guess what i thought these were when i walked into the bathroom their sinks oh yeah yeah that's a mistake waiting to happen yikes introducing eva puzzle maps look at the kids aren't they having so much fun if only they could have advertised an actual size well then again those kids might just be really really tiny yeah i'm gonna take a wild guess and assume that this toilet is uh it's gonna be clogged pretty often wishing you a very happy christmas i just wanna go home they couldn't get the kid to smile for the camera they're just like you know what he's crying just just take a picture send it to grandma she'll love it anyways let's see hot dog sausage hamburger veggie dog online ring what the heck is an online ring an onion ring with wi-fi i'll take your whole stock this marvel spider-man poster has no spider-man on it well of course there's no spider-man he just got outed by mysterio he's in hiding this cup that has a hole in the handle that spills liquid all over you if you're not paying attention oh that that right there why why would anybody design a cup like this it's so stupid are you ready kids no god no i'm not ready please just leave me alone i feel bad for the poor unfortunate soul that accidentally slips down the stairs and then hits a tree on the way down feels bad man feels bad oh gosh you know i've seen these statues like all over north carolina's restaurants and stuff but these these are definitely worn out like they should probably go into retirement oh just uneven stairs i love how each step depicted is a different height from one another yeah this is definitely a way for somebody to fall up the stairs i accidentally pressed the stop button on the bus several times because it's the same height as my leg well you must really be annoying the bus driver they're like gosh this guy wants to stop everywhere i got this as an ad and there's no animation it's just the static image download today this is a text wow do people really not care about the ads they put out anymore they're just like yeah you know people will download it maybe they will maybe they will i don't care that's so annoying maximum occupancy for this room is two well ikea if we're following your rules then the picture is already breaking the rules kid stops bullying yeah i mean technically if you just murder the bully that's technically stopping a bully but then it also makes you a murderer yeah it seems like an even trade yeah this this picture is not going to make father time happy introducing introducing that's such a stupid slip up all right keep it going introducing tushy you know i wasn't quite convinced with this product not only because i don't know what it is but also because it looks a little weird until that is i saw grandma's smiling face like look at her she's just loving the ride this 21 day tracking stamp has only 18 days wait a second 3 6 9 12 15 18 oh come on how could somebody mess this up it should be so easy instead of this saying not without canadian beef farmers it instead says no without canadian beef farmers and that's what you get when you don't capitalize your letters correctly look i i don't know what show this is i don't know why david dobrik is like choking out this woman in the picture but but i want to watch this show the car volume is currently unavailable wouldn't it be terrible if this error occurred during like its highest max volume and you just couldn't turn it off it's like blasting music and you're like god shut up car volume is currently unavailable capcom took an image from ign for the box art for okami for the wii and left the watermark in it's kind of hard to see but they really could have just bought the photo and then put it in the game you know what i guess they don't care you know i look at this website and it just screams at me virus virus virus virus you're about to get a virus all right son say cheese mom i don't want to be a whale i don't care timmy say cheese ah yes pre wait what what here we're here yeah i don't think i'll be buying this merch i'm sorry just this ain't it hey uh which house do you live in oh you know the one that makes the neighbors angry oh no i stand corrected this is the one that makes the neighbors angry they basically just put windows wherever they want no regard for aesthetic the architect is basically oprah just like you get a window and you get a window everyone gets a window hey i know this road this is the road from the first cars movie you know the one where lightning mcqueen completely ruins the road yeah that one make your own bead tattoos look at mine mine's invisible color yeah good job taylor good job ha ha we meet again luckily for you i'm not even gonna try to read this not only because it's extraordinarily difficult but also because i don't want to fail trying next meme hey babe i got you this bear oh you shouldn't have what does it say wait you apostrophe are sweet yeah do you like it oh i hate it come back to me when you know how to spell all right so we got some nice sauces here looking pretty good pretty good uh however it would appear that all of them have zero percent sauce perfect hey um you got the time oh yeah it's just five just five that's it oh my good god uh actual size yeah i don't i don't think so i feel awful for anyone who doesn't like swallowing big pills oh i hope that is not a promotional image on like like a billboard or something that is disgusting oh wyoming has aids we are wyoming oh no oh the bear looks so happy you look so pleased with it oh that chair looks awful uh i i hate it but you can't deny that design rocks okay i'll see myself out okay i don't know what this graph is representing uh however it would appear that brazil is in the lead with uh three two million and america's below with 37.2 million uh no i don't think that's how that works this is not a traffic circle as some people think it's similar to the one at fifth and clay well fifth and clay and this needs a knot that is that is the worst oh rock sandals why are they so shiny and also look at the the black rock on the on the far right on each of them it like it arches how do you stand in those are you're not supposed to stand in those that yeah crappy design confirmed nothing says home like the smell of baking people who loves to eat are always the best people what i i don't even know how to read that correctly okay so say you're the guy who's building this right and you're looking at the plans and you or was that even in the plans why are there balconies on the top when you can't even get to them yeah crappy design will design print for you beer money fame will design for money print you beer fame uh i don't i don't want you designing anything for me okay what am i looking at so we got a bench which is like white in some areas brown and the others with actual crayons on it you're not supposed to actually sit on that are you like that's just like an art piece i hope i i don't i don't know ordered a phone charger from amazon and it came in this box all right well let's take a look yes uh my favorite quote from forrest gump you know my mom always said life a box is chocolate you never know what you're gonna get next that's what he said that's from the movie okay so this is braille on a scooter braille which is made for blind people on a scooter you know blind people's favorite activity riding scooters duh job seekers can use yahoo search to start their job hunt search for job posting sites uh that is a burglar breaking into a house you can't say that's anything else that's what that is ah good old santa barbara you can see the moon it's all beautiful the ocean and then the town is on fire everything's on fire please help oh god oh oh i i to to the garbage and beyond with you yeah i i dislike this very much uh why is there a okay so not only does this bathtub have carpet on it but it's also not in a bathroom and it looks like a bed and it's like legit there's a shower head and everything i don't understand what the concept behind this was no i don't nope next oh i hate this even more why does that mattress of a face and why is it looking at me like that i'm moving on next ah everyone always asks what happens when you die come and find out come and find out sunday's 10 a.m may to june let's find out together pull it cartoon flush flush label png and clip art the toilet and wash your hands don't forget kids right so i don't understand what this is is okay so the seats on the bottom uh you got what like little blocks on the wall what are those i i don't understand sorry but if you want to scan this qr code you're going to have to remove that thing and if you remove that there's still going to be a hole through the qr code can confirm crappy design okay so either this is just a compass that's wrong or it's a very fancy way to spell news because if you look at it clockwise it's news no i'm just kidding it's it's just so ever made this was dumb oh i got some cute little fruit magnets here well i got a question for you do you guys eat your corn with or without the peel teachers make kids apple aunt yeah you might want to make some revisions there oh this this hurts my head so you got okay so it's supposed to spell dad but the ds are like backwards uh and it doesn't help if you look at upside down because then the a is upside down and i'm gonna move on one day day two three days four days except for spelt like a full word five days with just the number five the sixth the seventh the eighth the ninth the tenth eleventh no thus we got rid of the thus uh twelfth the thirteenth fourteenth fifteenth day sixteenth seventeenth day the nineteenth the 20th this is more confusing to read than the fast and furious titles chronologically hey yeah diaz leather um so your stairs when they go up there's no railing at the top and uh correct me if i'm wrong but they're not going anywhere they're just touching the ceiling what the heck is this oh boy more stairs okay so if you exit from the top of the roof you go down the stairs where does it go is there a secret entrance we can't see uh you can't you can't go from the bottom up that's for sure my head hurts okay i'm gonna give whoever made this the benefit of the doubt and say that they were trying to make palm trees but those don't look like palm trees do not press okay please do not press the ok button and log into windows while bulb 64 installation is running the windows logon screen will appear automatically when the installation is complete is this some kind of some kind of cruel test what are you trying to do here bill gates oh no her face it's just been chopped in half and look look at the guy he's just been cut right down the middle that is a not good design oh my god this is like something out of the shining it's like that is very confusing and also hurts my eyes uh i don't want to look at it anymore riddle me this uh is this a guide on how to get around a hotel or an eye doctor test close one eye tell me what you see eat sloop looks like it's a sloop eat sloop travel repeat yeah no not not a good design i feel sorry for the janitor here who wants to clean up all the water from that damn sink hmm yeah so that that cabinet seems to be getting in the way a little bit uh i can definitely say i'm not a fan of this design i'm sorry ah yes the family advocacy program fap no in case of fire leave the fire area i mean is this a crappy design it's not the worst advice you could give oh oh no what doesn't help is that wood on the side says dry yeah this is a disaster waiting to happen we need to get that fire sign on this thing oh man these these are the best seats in the house i mean look at that you see everything okay so uh maybe some uh 2d characters shouldn't be brought to 3d you know ladies please note you are standing on a glass floor and guests can see up from below yikes yeah that's definitely yeah she definitely should not have worn that dress today ah spot the difference i sure can't can you ah america the huffle what sorry what the the yeah the huffle okay see the sound hear the color no that's not how that works okay what happened here there's like is that a red light thing i'm trying i'm literally i i cannot tell what this is uh what happened to the wall why is it burnt huh oh my god it's a gremlin stop looking at me like that hell lemon hell from this point forward it's just lemon hell oh maker what is homemaker and why is it using the spiderman font from the first movie oh my god i've never seen this technique used before they must be a master artist hmm okay so what are those yellow squares and why are they just randomly like put okay so you got those like blue beams on the top left and there's like the squares in between them but there's one missing on the last one and they also just suddenly stop and then there's the windows with the yellow squares under them and these benches are spread out my head hurts i want to move on let's go oh my god those are those manhole covers why are there so many of them okay so we have this nice little area for you to sunbae that uh you know on a hot day uh you should lay on these leather seats oh my dear god i hope that's like like a floor that's had its carpet removed and it's not like an actual carpet design because that is disgusting and awful looking i hate it ah yes every good stall should have a clear door on the side so you can just so you can make sure what's going on in there you don't want anything uh suspicious happening not only are those lights not nice looking but they're also hung from ropes that look like nooses and what's the deal with the ceiling why is there like weird triangle patterns next stay back 600 inches 600 inches exactly or else bad stuff's gonna happen why is the laundry machine at the top what is it on that does not look safe oh yeah just a beautiful loving family i don't i don't like this oh my god those are some big ear buds jesus christ it's like those are headbutts well you know what they say late better never then uh late never better than and that ladies and gentlemen is why you should not skip leg day or else they'll just shrink oh don't tell me that's final like like i hope this is like still in construction because one those stairs look awful and two there's like no flooring on the top i but there's like shoes and stuff at the bottom so it's like people are living there already i fear for this house magic in the making restrooms yep there sure is magic that happens in there medical malpractice it's the only thing we do that's not good hey fellas you ever want to see your ding-dong while you're taking a wii well there you go this image gives me a fight or flight response not only is it doesn't look like she has a very long arm but that hand is not the same color as her skin this image also gives me a fight or flight response and i want to move on no consent why is there a heart there no no we put the s in comfort wrong easy open uh no i'd probably give that a medium open oh my god what kind of sick drift you have to pull off to get into that parking spot good god are those polar bears why do they look like that and why are they oh that cup that's um i don't i don't want any of that in my cup that penguin that that doesn't look that's not right those eyes are very low hmm our slash crappy designs are r slash bad photoshop you decide oh philosoraptor come on why why are you doing that why are you standing on you're standing on it not in it is like frozen i don't know i don't want to know how that happened that is not in any way shape or form mickey mouse do not like it and we're moving on right now hey teach um you kind of got a light in front of the projector that yeah no oh that wall nope that just paint over it right now get rid of it i had a knife with a red plastic sheath and a red blade nice and sharp too one day i was cooking grabbed the knife out of the drawer and pulled the sheath off except it wasn't in the sheath uh the red i saw in my peripheral vision had been the blade itself slice my hand open real good oof uh can you say a lawsuit on your birthday you can get away with doing anything like making this crappy design and having it be approved sample text what is this a is this a suitcase is it birthday present wrapping no it that how did that get approved so i see that the red text on all the different environments is hard to read but what i want to know is why is the s in suitable red that's what i want to know let's see here which atomic model is depicted by the image below the rutherford model easy just yeah just mouse over it duh idiot uh shrek and donkey are really looking the same ever since they stopped making shrek movies hey does not have carpet on it uh bad design yeah confirmed oh my god yeah so like switch games are you know 60 they're just as much as a disc uh like but you have that little tiny cartridge and all of that case no booklet and you also have a very meh design oh it's my favorite cartoon characters spongebob and gary question mark i would have got here a spray bottle okay screwing it on tight gotta really make sure it doesn't uh come apart and he's going and there it goes nice yeah i see the problem here there's a sprinklers under the bench crabby design the lid is like strangling the straw someone please help it all right so we have a path uh here on the right which goes to the building whatever that is and uh on the left you have plant just plant includes pocket pop not actual size well damn right it's not the actual side it's a little tiny tiny bit smaller over here either way i kind of like this oppa it's pretty cute bad for a barber shop in switzerland how would you like the haircuts i'm too busy gaming bro dude's legit holding a ps4 controller adobe just updated most of its apps to be all the same color i use adobe flash and adobe animate or whatever you want to call them now and every time i open them this bothers me this isn't just this bottle either i legit saw like 8 out of 15 gator eggs in my local dollar store with this exact problem and that sucks for you serena williams ah uh anal oh it's anal welcome girl come come join me at anal magazine it should be asso but the o should be the heart butt heart care news i.t ah it's so it's so great that you care for my butt so much my bathroom door no locks and the only door in the house with a window that's kind of funny i live in a house with no lock on my bathroom either and i live with two other people so you know a lot of people see me pooping so i know your pain this right here is how you slip and die in a bathroom and i had a bathroom just like this once and it sucks cloth pilling machine battery requirements uh it may be piling i don't remember but this is to get rid of the fuzzies on your clothes am i the only one who thinks it's really fun to like run these over your hand it feels really weird but yeah that's a bad design you need a big battery and a little battery oh yeah that right there is gonna be a lot of fun just uh taking that kid out straight with a bowling ball to the head who needs to have a birthday party when you have had trauma uh yeah your shoe's untied you're throwing more than one ball how exactly did you throw that third ball there bud oh no he probably used his penis you know when i rented my apartment here they said the view was one of a kind it really is one of a kind of the back of the billboard i'll pay you a wow price for your car i want to buy your baby i mean some people's cars are their babies like my 97 honda accord which is clean but uh yeah don't say you want to buy that cat selfie what's wrong oh it's covering up the camera otherwise this is a pretty good idea but that cat's just like don't take my photo lisa ah buzzfeed going downhill since the try guys walked away and took their intellectual property with them the material on the mesh back of the chair is abrasive so it acts like a cheese crater and wears down my shirts dude that's really gotta suck look at the piling up of his damn shirt fabric that sucks dude okay you got some nice uh cigarette curtains there i guess if you wanted cancer that's one way to do it this useless clock at a german train station where the hands don't light up but the hours do hey man you'll see what time it is when the uh hands are covering the hours i guess hey since uh i got a little hint there for you maybe use some different colors than different shades of blue and it'd be a little bit easier to tell making a difference um yeah i bet you are sure you are i love that the quotes are there because just reinforce my thoughts about you oh sweet i'm pretty sure this is a bts cup and i totally want one for 25.25 it's totally not cursed at all looks like uh the girl from splice look it up i'm serious before after you become white the perfect color no no no no it's just bad photoshop this guy's either hump in half a circle or he's got a real big wiener that he likes to wrap around notice to occupants of flats coronavirus curving 19 precautions to help with social distancing please walk on the right hand side of the stairs going up and walk on the left hand side of the stairs coming down thank you yeah you see there's a little bit of a problem there bud when you're going up right is on your ride when you're going down your left is actually the right you went up with your dreams come true come true your dreams come dreams true damn it ah this right here is my favorite holiday east tet with the east hat bunny who brings you eastead eggs one way trail do not enter enter here it's a trip to nowhere except for death hello i do construction i am human what you talk about all right there's a lot going on in this photo that i don't want to unwrap so i'm just going to skip on to the next one ah our customers will never use our fan on a hot night so let's put bright freaking led indicators on it that can't be turned off i had to put on electric tape over them or they'll light up the entire room now you could've used a sharpie that probably would have worked too but yeah bad fan design chocolate delight naturally flavored with other natural flavors i love me some natural flavors and other naturally flavored what's going on here what's going on here this photo gives me a stroke f mine brick my life god bless america that's america's story right there dinosaur century all right then there you could just slide him out if you bend his dorsal fin a little bit more okay it's kind of cool uh fnaf art fat freddy's fazbear's pizza art whatever you want to call it but uh the blanket's eating the kids arms alive it's eating his arms alive look his arms are just being swallowed by the blanket run kid deseleccia friendly bda equality know you are nox dyslexia friendly i can't read it and i'm not dyslexic at least i hope i'm not six sigma training showing process with gears that don't mesh with each other but they're meshing they're meshing they're meshing perfectly fine thanks a lot training video it's a gert ah yes i've always wanted to have a gert forget a boy or a girl but a gert is my way to go this bottle of hand sanitizer is made of hard plastic so it's nearly impossible to get the gel out hey man they're just helping you out now no one can steal it because they're the shortness because of that cough cough sniffle sniffle oh no the last of the panda bears killed himself when he saw what humanity had done legally why i don't even need to read it what's wrong that plane don't belong in world war ii there bud a-10 warthog first produced in 1972 pictured on a book about world war ii it's just so bad it doesn't look right and four clear ice maker that shows people drinking with cloudy eyes ah yes perfect perfect perfect poor semen that's the jacket i want right there baby open that bad boy up never zipper to be like yeah that's right i got some horror semen on me you know what's even greater for me about this i did the actual voiceover for one of the characters in this game and this is what the freaking merch looks like okay uh i appreciate that but if you're not like five feet five nine you're not reaching those things and i know a lot of people on so they're staying dirty is this uh is this a button some former dryer vent why is this here why do you gotta screw with my ocd like that this light is impossible to clean and ugly as heck it is not ugly as heck it just looks like your uh your light fixture vomited up four or five eyeballs at once like i will light the room baby born oh love you da ridlin that that's the same for the ages right there i'm buying this shirt face mask with smiley face that is made of non-breathable material right over the mouth making it impossible to breathe well at least you look happy when you suffocate to death did uh did you spill some paint on your blankets or is that just the design i can't tell over here measuring spoons and cuffs labeled with ink that washes off the first time they come in contact with water boy that really sucks hey at least the one spoon is still good and the one third spoon yeah you're still good text cook mex tales ah delicious i love some tex [ __ ] mex tales i read this tax cut [ __ ] milf moro islamic liberation front hey there hey there uh moro islamic liberation front i got some news for you that actually means mother i'd like to be friends with even though befriend doesn't start with f i'm just gonna say it is cause youtube oh cool shoots and ladders and now there's snakes and ladders um there's a lot going on that uh that makes this game look very hard to play netflix had to ruin the nice cover art not a sticker blood of the elves such coolness until you see netflix and netflix original series is this on netflix so far what is it why'd you have to ruin the art netflix just like you ruin every live-action anime adaptation i'm not gonna lie i kind of like this clock i hope the times are correct but if if they are which i'm not 100 accurate with roman numerals i i'd buy it i'd buy it still pretty cool you you have to open your other eye no he doesn't it is his eye it is his eye i am a monster do not disturb i'm playing ortnite ah yes i love my socks that say do not disturb i'm playing ortnite perfect for my footstation hello i am sponge star and i am patrick bob kill us wanted to charge my apple pencil while on the go hey this isn't bad design and it's adding mugging to it you got a nice shank right there like oh you want to take my wallet yeah i take my apple pen i never understood there are so many colors in the freaking rainbow and the color spectrum why do you only use like three every time you people make pie graphs there's plenty more colors jesus christ pokemon pikachu's got three eyes pika pika kill me you know my clothes only counts in two things horseshoes and hand grenades not infrastructure do it over and fix it damn it if the water's not gonna get in there it's gonna cause erosion problems damn it ah this right here this actually a smart design because then you never have to clean those plates for the family dinners you can just be like yeah it's part of the design over here gotta catch em all pooker mons okay all jokes aside this is probably some family who doesn't exactly understand pokemon but still supports their kid love for it and probably can't afford like a super nice cake from walmart or like wherever you get custom cakes made so i really appreciate this 10 out of 10. found a ghost dog while looking for dog pools also this pool is supposed to have a diameter of 160 centimeters 63 inches yeah yeah that's a ghost doggo all right hello can i hunt your dreams with kaddosh yeah yeah that's one scary-looking six-year-old nothing else when it rains too hard the water pours down over the sheltered pathway this happened in my school and i have a feeling this is my old school because it had the exact same green tin and this exact issue happened and it sucked and they never fixed it ah this right here is the perfect handicap ramp they don't need to get inside you make them work for it they really gotta fight to get over under those bars i've accidentally hit these buttons with my sausage fingers so many times and i hate that i can't customize them well sucks for you coronavirus restrictions are very generous now only 63 customers allowed in the shop at a time ah it's a bookstore see they're trying to say you can all come in there because they're probably going out of business ah yes when you want your music to fight itself hit this button non-scratch this product may scratch oh you don't say damn girl looks like not only you pooped your pants but you pooped up onto the back of your shirt too you got all that cake but really it's a real messy chocolate cake now a shower designed to be hard to stand in as possible it looks really cool and i really like the design but that rock is going to be slippery as hell when it's wet ah yes you take the road to the right then you go straight then you go back right again then you go down and you start over where you began damn girl that waist trainer not only gave you a man's stomach but a change your skin tone i'll take one right away along with whatever's giving you that cleavage okay skip skip back all right then all right then maybe just switch the two buttons and there you go it's a good design man that's gonna be one rough slide and some kids are gonna find out they like butt stuff pretty early on and yes i know this is meant to be climbed up let's face it some kid's gonna go to slide down it and realize they like butt stuff train your brain [Music] i don't want to be this guy but this doesn't work yes it is me lightning mcqueen kachuga kachuga i'll learn to race from the delaware bumblebee thank you for the m.c escher-esque stairs thank you so much ah here we go again with some useless mc asher stairs over here thank you watch your step while you're on your wheelchair and defying gravity a disabled toilet and shower with a step hey man some of those things should be all terrain vehicles is all i'm saying uh what a great stop sign st ah speed trap i see what it really is island bells that's a pretty dope street name though this possible subway map for the world looks worse if you look at the labels uh yeah yeah it does because i can't read a single thing going on here this four dollar swan pool float from the dollar store i actually kind of want to buy this just because messed up but i'm pretty sure you can fix this if you roll the tube 180 would that fix it i think it would i don't know i don't have it so i can't tell you a light switch inside the shower ah that's totally safe totally not gonna get shocked to death or nothing oh yes exactly what i need when i'm sitting down to pull reach up as high as possible and hope not to get poop on seat while reaching for putt paper you can see the men's bathroom through the mia from the outside oh you're gonna be seeing some people doing some pps and some poo poos your one stop do shop die shop i don't know i get i get it it's artistic but it's bad there's more to prime a truck owed more ah thanks amazon doing a great job making 28 million dollars a day during lockdown so now i need a wire cutter to not kill turtles with bottle rings jesus man are they trying to kill every sea turtle on the freaking planet over here huh guess you shouldn't have cheaped out on the book printer slash publisher there because you can't exactly play the video damn it audio ttx volume volume switch them switch them switch them jesus i have the same remote and just switch them ah cool you got the levar burning beats if you don't get that joke he's the guy from star trek who wore the visors over his eyes well oh me yeah i get it beach life whatever but uh the starfish is not the equivalent of a sea ah dude sick i can't wait to play my wii and kill some people in fortnite that makes sense and uh it was this day the property value went down about a hundred grand okay then that is a badly designed system you got going on there i love how the sun just goes directly into the window too worked on your out on your term your terms work yes yes they do x-men weapon x i am the wolverine no i did not hit my head i get in out of the antenna thing uh this looks like target add for shipping add to cart ad for delivery what's the difference can you escape the 100 room x but the the icon says 50 rooms and then there's a 10 at the bottom right what does this mean ever wanted to see the difference between 144 hertz and 90 hertz there you go that oh god not only is this a crappy design for an elevator but um that's that's just nasty i can't win in africa that's uh that's not africa african wildlife family at the jungle pool full image on side of box so this isn't the full image ah my favorite spot to go to a nails allow to verify that you are not a robot to jockersunface.com wants to send you notifications no thanks wait okay so this kid's looking at the the the woman on his phone but it's on the other side wrestlemania watch and time on demand the ap's infographics against the dark themed background oh uh yeah that's not very good astonishing a real pooping human wha what all these reviews say they want to return it what even is this what once upon a time that's that's what they say in the beginning what avid gamers could look like in 20 years researchers made a model that depicts what avid gamers would look like in 20 years if they kept up with their daily habits the hunched model has pale skin bloodshot eyes swollen ankles from lack of movement and an indented skull from headphones uh i don't know about this one wait okay for one that box doesn't look like it's actually in their hands in two baking vitamins you just bake vitamins into whatever you're making uh hmm bellow baby can be read as unintended baby in french an online french child care store uh-oh this basketball hoop with a gravel court at a skate park that's not very good for bouncing the ball oh god why does uh no this doesn't this does not look good at all learn from the star the best bowling physics ever real-time multiplayer yeah this is definitely the most realistic bowling game ever made look at that look at that detail look at that look at that head and how it's so much bigger than the body oh well i don't like this thing i don't even know what it's supposed to be but i can already tell you i don't like it at all oh what happened to its eyes oh poor doggo youtube twitch myra box uh i don't think this is how it works i don't think that's how streaming works catfish a young photographer becomes involved with a gifted eight-year-old artist's family until he realizes something's not quite right i'll tell you what's not quite right um why is the mouth facing us but the eyes are looking to the right huh oh she looks like she's suffering what mom what are you making her read come on hmm i don't think cleveland's in the right state here hmm chlorus clues america's hunger problem more than one in eight people in over half of the u.s counties don't have adequate food uh more than one in eight ten percent to twelve point five percent and less than one in ten this okay i get it i get what you're trying to show but come on that's a lot of counties ah don't worry uh our ear camera cleaner thing is compatible with these devices are you ready to be horrified uh oh count down i i mean at least i eventually got what they were trying to go for but i'm already horrified by this this poster design girls who think about pizza the most or boys wait what girls who thinks thinks about pizza boys or the i don't know why is the cupboard above the stairs this doesn't make any sense how do you get up there you gotta get a ladder out every time you want to put some up just don't put anything up there easy city commons parking uh zero to one hour 300 bucks each additional hour 300 daily max 20. 20 lost ticket 20 entry after 5 p.m 14 oh oh wait there's a period there okay i was gonna say hold on wait 300 for an hour of parking what this amazing piece of user interface at my dentistry office oh my god what is with those oh at the bottom the well just all over actually the letters why how to tell when a slot is close to hitting a jackpot uh those aren't the same image that's not that zoomed in dollar tree where everything's zero zero dot one dollar so ascent the elevator buttons in my apartment building what hold on what you got g two three four five six seven oh entrance not an entrance all right well which one is it then oh you gotta love when things are printed like this and oh what happened to their faces sorry an error has occurred please try again but there's a check mark next to it is that supposed to happen on god family for all mine i'll lay yours what i don't even know these are all supposed to say it doesn't matter if you are a woman or child who this this is awful i can't even tell what it's supposed to be wish stop met evil battalion in the winkles then dagged the top 50 to 90 percent cortengen op vers ending swipe up to view app details no thanks food aid dropped into afghanistan was the same color as the cluster bombs oh no during this time of stay at home we ask our parish family to support our advertisers as often as we can those small businesses make our bulletin possible funeral homes inc now occupying furnished models portland to wormanneapolis.com week over week change in consumer spending by platform doordash grubhub ubereats yeah this this is confusing as hell ridiculously expensive tommy bahama glasses self scratching ooh uh al cool get i'll cool gel 70. this does this looks like water if i if i was dying of thirst and i saw this i would start chugging it happy hunting eat happy eat hell spring hell flower spring more homeless hate we are support home services here together okay hmm hvs looking a little uh hiv instant pot seven in one multi-use programmable pressure cooker why is the o like that invisible door oh god i i want to see like security camera footage of everyone who's bumped into that this is pretty awful why would you put i get it okay you know maybe you want a speaker for your phone maybe you don't want it to be bluetooth well this is not the way to go okay also the the jack on the old iphone is not in the dead center middle of the bottom of the phone so this is this is bad died jesus for you 24 7. okay uh this is a tv mount like a like an adjustable mount why would you need the tv to rotate like that you're not driving just if you're drive driving distracted wait you're not driving if you're driving distracted just drive okay i i see now but i did not read it like that the first time white star power oh no engraved cat photo keychain that is not a cat that is a dog crack decode what uh oh come on why would you this is this is one of those situations where it's like what was there first the power line or the or the path did they take out a part part of the path to put the power line there i doubt it i'm going to assume the power line was there and they started the path we're just like you know what screw we can just leave the power line there and just go around and continue it stupid oh it's a track pad on a laptop but it's missing do does it have clickers surely it has clickers right laugh watch free right now addict stand-up comedy robin williams well he's not alive anymore veterans film funny sadheartwarminginspiring.com recovery film ptsd trauma colonic hydrotherapy machine what i've never heard of one of those oh no don't tell me that's a door that hits the light every time it opens awful pizza town is that what it's it looks like it says lisa lounge i mean i get it you know it's a pizza cutter on top but guys you might want to might want to redesign this one uh i i think the thing that's a crappy design here is the the fact that the compass has an n in the middle but you know a compass has more than just north right women maximum occupancy 146 men maximum occupancy 54. hey wait a second the uh that logo looks like the snapchat logo was that on purpose we're trying to get some we're trying to get some eyes some clicks all right no alcohol be yo and this paw no alcohol behind this point i get it wait a second you can share via facebook or via gmail but they're swapped um hmm guys no entry entrance only which one is it though you know i really do want to complete this frog but there's no k what the hell is this what okay hold on wait what's wrong with her nose first thing oh god these are these are awful the big the word collage images stupid uh that's that is not a 90 degree angle sorry but that's just not that's just not what that is the fact i have to scroll through every postal code is infuriating oh god yeah that's uh that would that would tick me off oh that's a that okay yep that's a bad oven design come on why would you make the dial look like that that is so inconsistent why is the paper towel thing so low put it like higher up where people can actually reach ah yes make the kitty toilet piss colored great pizza pizza that's i mean at least it tells you what's there right american airlines oh that's a that's a usb but the wing it keeps another usb from getting plug that's stupid oh what happened to this why are plants where a path should be who did this would be an easy thing to fix too i mean come on guys search result for playstation pants on amazon uh for one that's not playstation and two those are shoes inflatable swimming pool kid you have inflatable kids i maybe maybe make it um inflatable kids swimming pool i think that's what you're looking for fellas this anti-drinking poster at my office that just looks like a menu and makes me want to drink yeah yeah that does not look like an antique drinking poster scan with your phone or visit dutchvalleygrowers.com for planning instructions you can't even scan that qr code that's why they have a white background ah yes put the recipe on the inside of the cup great thinking fellas you know there's a lot of things in life i do not enjoy um but bathrooms with carpet that is a very big one uh that's this is russian comic sans amazing tallest celebs ranked i don't think i don't think that's how that works modern wall lamp that is a very big wall lamp select call by the art the artist the art i my brain hurts trying to comprehend this shiddur shadow okay uh i don't know about this pants design fellas that doesn't look very stylish at all you'd be better off with just the white pants all right oh man look at all these apps and notifications loom coming call oh i don't i don't like that spongebob bouncy castle um i'm i'm i'm all right stims and soul solutions transformers transformational life coaching i can't even hardly read this this is this is definitely a bad design oh why is it so hard to just make elevator buttons that make sense it's really not that hard tennis training tool tennis trainer rebound single tennis racket trainer huh uh hey kid i don't know if the photographer told you this but you're uh you're holding that backwards oh i'm not a fan of this this is uh that is not tom's the tank engine that is uh an imposter a scary one at that uh why did they mark saved as red and lost as green that kind of gives uh the wrong message right you know you think the saved would be the green because it's good right share vote find out who's like you to me we me too hmm not me me we me wet2.com wait a second that that pouch doesn't even fit the paper properly what's the point then we open our come on guys we are open in in in order this ad looks like an optical illusion like this stands the right one is behind the left one but it doesn't make sense at all w he nifo und the one my heart loves what when i found the one my heart loves i think i cracked the code guys watching is that what it's what is that what i'm supposed to say things are starting to look up wait a minute what's up with that guy's hand and why is it so big your turn hears more this is who designs these i want to know church yielding for jesus oh god giving for jesus loving for jesus church what yeah um hmm right so i don't know how this is blessed but i can certainly see the cursed someone vandalized the bernier sign last night say no to ass man hey what's wrong with a little bit of ass hey wait a second this cutout looks like me it fits perfectly look at these huge bees i swear they get bigger every year may 2034. they've taken over okay okay again i don't understand how this is blessed and cursed unless i've unless i've misunderstood the subreddit but this is certainly 100 cursed r slash blessed images r slash cursed images what the hell is this our slash placed images yeah hmm oh oh no oh man you are making a grave mistake they are going to eat you alive oh god i hate this image uh pump that [ __ ] bulbasaur yeah no next all right we got a mother and her daughter here um and oh my god don't to get them out of it that is not where babies go dad's second car crash this week oh that is awful again how was this blessed oh my god that's awful cara delevingne plays sweet home alabama on guitar behind her back this is nothing guys my ex was able to play me behind my back oh no you poor soul look at that this is blessed this is blessed 100 look at that he has a twin now how how nice sonic america's driving chicken loses job chicken is broke chicken strips oh i i get it right i mean whatever you got to do to make that money i mean it's a dangerous world out there for a chicken not that i'm flexing with my cocktail skills but look at this uh we got pepsi ketchup and jeez i i my stomach just turned my crow hard microsoft i i get it that's that's very good blessed this ride only stops in an emergency crying is not an emergency goofy no well if you start crying that's not my problem is it gorge teacher why are laughing me nothing also me kirby kirby i love him blessed selling deer six dollars miami florida selling deer sometimes he barks but it's because he has autism serious buyers yep that's uh that's florida all right a dingo ate my baby oh no i mean anything's possible in australia is fortnite actually overrated plato aristotle and socrates yeah three wise men all right also i'm sure i said at least one of those names wrong dos oh my god oh my god the madman where did he get that he pulled out of another dimension okay yeah earth easter island stonehenge is rock and the moon very classy uh cursed yeah let's call this one cursed mom i need thirty dollars it's important for what the state of oklahoma 29.95 i mean that's a that's a steal for a whole state oh boy craigslist for 100 an hour i will come to your holiday party dressed as the elf on the shelf and sit in any location you assign me while i stare emptily at your guests for the duration of the event um yeah no i think i think you should just stick to the doll elon mosque space jihad founder i have i have no words for this i that it's cursed that's that's what i can say must read this woman got stuck in her bathtub for 30 minutes after bathing in coconut oil there's no traction no grip just me and my fat body slipping around covered in oil well don't bathe in coconut oil that's a lesson we can all learn from this man 73 awaits sentencing for killing sleeping sun just in time for father's day [Music] no no absolutely not our feet shoes oh my god oh my god look this guy this guy looks like he's wearing feet shoes god how long do you have to wear like socks or shoes and stand outside the sun with like shorts on holy moly safety first do not fist android girls yeah i i wouldn't i wouldn't uh i wouldn't do that hey look it's wonder woman in the flesh there he goes late night munchies your belly just can't resist maple glazed pelvis sun-dried alaskan teenager a pint of forsaken souls kentucky fried bipetal bluefin uh my stepdad's car keys bacon mac and cheese pizza okay i mean honestly i would i might try that in jupiter funeral kazoo comforting sound great for kids drowns out sobs and whales better than bagpipes i mean okay it's kind of got a point there oh and uh sorry for your loss in the bottom left mad at gas car the movie that's that's that's elon musk's movie yup gay people are legal currency now uh we accept mastercard you discover and visa great this gopro was swallowed by lava survived and recorded the entire thing i do love a good minecraft meme that that is blessed peter griffin i mean what else can i say that's him that's peter griffin they grew up so fast that's cursed yup holy moly i i man i don't like that do you think that the uh barcode actually got a result from why use google when jesus has all the answers okay so jesus what force cross dressing trap a hagio hentai do you recommend uh onizan nandakara was pretty good thanks jesus very cool suicidal teacher hired hitman to kill her but he fell in love with her instead i mean good for them i guess i lost her to a boy with big fingers hold up okay so uh what am i looking at right now that is a hot a hot hot dog uh on a steel bun i mean i'd eat it in memory of roger bucklesby who hated this park and everyone in it i mean the park loved him back i guess jiu jitsu noun 1. the gentle art of folding clothes while people are still in them two involuntary yoga some slaughterhouses use a judas goat it's a trained goat that will calmly lead livestock to their slaughter while its own life is spared i mean that doesn't sound like a bad job to me being the judas goat kanye scores 106 points against wheelchair basketball team a charity basketball game didn't go exactly as plain yesterday when kanye west scored 106 points against a team of handicapped children in wheelchairs come on kanye man meet my neighborhood cat which we named hitler for obvious reasons yeah yeah that's uh that makes sense malaysia eminem sharing m m's with other m ms 2001 nice but i've been getting me but we've been getting many modern things have their origins in the middle ages for instance that's an ice cream sandwich on the bottom but on the top i can't say the same what if a dude went to eat your uh cat and you heard the minecraft eating sound can you imagine can you imagine the shock on both people's faces what what phone is that oh my god that is uh i love minecraft memes dude i could look at these all day heinz beans museum celebrating the nation's love of the humble bean that i mean it's humble you gotta you can't you can't deny that change.org make shrek the national bird 75 302 of sign let's get it to 150 000. i wish them good luck my cousin's cat ate a wasp and i cannot breathe [Laughter] how about if snapchat i don't got snapchat excuse me then who is they sending nudes to oh oh man i don't like this uh brian griffin and peter bryan i don't like it i guess those could be used for either one right in a sink battle your pokemon's attacks can usually either hit or miss but i guess some attacks never miss huh it was only a matter of time before that meme happened with this character oh my god i actually didn't notice the guy there for a second holy moly that twinsies oh yeah i i don't like this image let's go to the next one penguin of the month naughty bernie laid her egg in someone else's burrow and left them to it uh good draco adopting an abandoned egg wonder whose that was oh see now this this is this is blurst pepe the frog becomes a symbol of resistance in hong kong protests look at that that's the people's champ right there my first prescription candy pills just like mommy addictive flavor wait wait includes side effects the guy next to us on this flight straight up brought a plain dodecahedron as his personal item i mean whatever it takes to keep you uh calm on your flight right oh my god it's pope thanos where's the gauntlet wait what if the stones went his little staff on the cross oh my god missed opportunity rain sounds that unfortunately include the frequent cries of my cat because you wouldn't shut up while i was recording this all right you know what fair enough you know stuff happens random acts of kindness softly kiss the postman's fingers when he puts them through your door to let him know that you are thankful for his gifts why not have a bit of suck on a finger of your choice for an extra slice of kindness he is it a puppy nope thank you for choosing red lobster in bridgewater today your server was thinking about ending your life us paralympics team refuses to stand during star-spangled banner smh that how disrespectful look at that that is a power couple if i've ever seen one george bush eating a kitten hey no hey george bad no put it down who's laughing now mother heckers yup they said sans can never get into smash but look who's laughing now how much sawdust can you put in a rice krispie treat before people notice i want to see the results of this experiment okay yeah this is 100 cursed i don't like that i mean prop sim for the clean teeth but uh uh no hey gang i'm ordering 14 worth of soda and nothing else from my local dominoes i'm thirsty you better not freaking have order is in the oven oh no that's not where drinks go eating a straw so the turtles don't have to oh man uh maz plays how did you get 7.3 000 subscribers still haven't done your taxes no judgment you're putting off filing because i'm committing tax fraud that doesn't seem like a good idea how to increase your social status at school one assert your dominance going three steps at a time will let the other students know that you're superior all hail three stepper typical you spend an hour stacking toads and not one of the miserable sods will smile for the camera honestly i don't know why i bothered poor attenborough hello it me your uber driver watashi waiting outside for you are you sure you want to cancel yes now it's true the axolotl was endangered but now we're the ones who are in danger welcome back to winnie the pooh and friends today we're gonna be making a nice delicious christmas ham now come here pinky now here's a nice illustration of a traffic collision report you see when you hit a deer this is the exact face that they put on why does it look like a character from regular show though i i just find that so hilarious hmm a baby and an adult if they were the same size using modern science 1951 oh oh gosh that is that is really creepy can you imagine if babies were human sized and they look like this they'd be walking around like that monster from the goonies ah i i'm just terrified ah yes the big cactus i don't know what you want me to say it's it's a big cactus demon summoning 101 oh boy the elves on a shelf have something planned this year oh this is cool i don't often see 4channers in the real world good to know they look exactly like i thought they would oh i get it it looks like a guitar right a white doughnut no steak wait no steak what are you talking about oh oh oh hell no you remember this mission from the game right well it's all run by vladimir putin hey you guys want to be in on a little secret the pope is actually the easter bunny i'm sure i just blew some minds right there let's see one two three four five and and six why do you have six fingers oh now this is the part of history they don't put in the textbooks you know before dogs dinosaurs were man's best friend i feel like this does not belong on blurst images i feel like this belongs on r slash hmm because i i'm staring at this corner piano and i'm just thinking to myself who on earth designed this thing honey why don't you pay enough attention to me jeez louise darling put one in the back of my head why don't you is that in poor taste survey says yes next beam throughout history sailors have mistaken beluga whales for mermaids because of their human-like knees i mean i can't blame them those those are very human-like beluga whale more like beluga babe you know what whoever drew this just just take a break from the internet all right you've earned it in fact it's mandatory melted snowman requires uh assembly oh man rest in peace to frosty i guess global warming finally got to him hey wait a second pepsi chips and lay's drink what does a lay's drink even taste like would it just be salt and vinegar that that's terrible and the mother of the year goes to anyone but this woman seriously that baby does does not look happy and i can't even see their face hmm okay well that's definitely not supposed to go there i mean really it looks like you just swapped the wasd keys with the arrows but yeah if you can't fix them back you should just get a new keyboard a one two three four deck the halls with fouls of holly fa la la la la la la la la well i'll be the first to say that this is the weirdest roomba i have ever seen oh wait you know what i just looked further into this photo i think that's actually a roomba i think that's like just some skin you can put on the room but why would anybody do this this that's just weird you know at first i was kind of upset with how they redesigned snake but uh now that i played with him he's pretty badass my cousin's cat ate a wasp and i cannot breathe uh that cat is down bad poor cat but you know what it kinda looks like tigger honestly the resemblance is uncanny ah so we finally meet the competitor to juan senor antonio i don't know what do you guys think juan or antonio uh why does garfield look like a thanksgiving turkey i guess jon must have gotten really tired of garfield's antics this is what happens when you cut off a holy crusader guess you had to learn your lesson the hard way huh what have i done you made art my friend that's what you did kudos so mom kicks you out of the house and you're like mcdonald's has free wi-fi i can't even blame you this setup is pretty legit no view peripheral blocking eyewear hey miss mom you should probably stop that one kid from caving in that other kid's face i know you can't physically see it because you got your peripheral glasses on but you'll still get tried for neglect so uh yeah i'd go check on that kid ah you see now this this is the only smart watch i can respect you get it yeah i get it it's a fish cat what no it's a catfish seriously why do i even show you these memes oh this guy took his dog on the subway oh wait a second his dog took him on the subway yikes you see now wouldn't this make for an even better show i mean chess is impressive and all but come on connect 4 this makes the show so much more interesting why can't i ever get blankets that are long enough oh ok that that makes sense alright class so who can find the length of x i mean to be fair the best person to teach the pythagorean theorem would be a triangle so kudos to this teacher okay a cat with like 72 legs now this is some blurs content i mean offhand it seems a little cursed but you know you look at it for a while and you could think huh you know maybe that wouldn't be so bad i mean all in all they're still adorable huh let's see cat plus cat boxed boxed now you know i did the calculations and yeah this adds up early italian nuclear test colorize 1957. ah just thank god we didn't get hit by one of these attacks it would have been like the doomsday of cloudy with a chance of meatballs huh i wonder where that smoke's coming from well you see your organs are starting a campfire that's also why you have heartburn huh let's see how do i narrate this one i guess i'll just try hey guys i'm here ah the pope has been shot sir are you okay up there in the building come on let's go all right freeze buddy where is he huh it's just toys ah mr potato head woody i expected so much more from you guys i mean buzz lightyear he was destined to shoot the pope but woody and potato head i'm disappointed oh now this is some a1 cosplay i mean obviously you recognize it but just for reference it's the spongebob and squidward rock oh and she even has squidward getting crushed by the rock that brilliant okay so this might seem like a wacky costume but imagine if computer man was a real person he could probably like steal all your information instantly he could search the web for any information at the blink of an eye computer man would be awesome too bad he's getting arrested though okay bro you got a little too good with the etch a sketch okay my man is straight up playing doom now it's impressive all right but i'm almost certain that this level of skill is unhealthy speaking of stuff that's unhealthy the star wars characters with lego hair let's just be grateful that this is only photoshop and not the real thing because this definitely leans more curse than blessed now this on the other hand i just love this picture absolutely 100 blessed if you ask me this guy couldn't find a way to put on his cap with the hair he has so you know he made it work probably poke some holes had to make a custom hat i respect it okay so you take a pencil and you just keep drawing and then you get this now there's no need to make andrew jackson look any cooler than he does on the 20 bill andrew jackson was a monster you should have made him less cool but no you couldn't even do that hey girl you're looking so good today ah thank you you look good too oh my god twinsies oh why do they look like this well if this isn't the most convoluted bike handle i've ever seen that makes perfect sense turn right to go left yeah but why would you do this to yourself oh man you guys get that new game cyber hunk oh nah man i heard that game's quack get it instead of whack i said quack because it's a okay we're gonna move on so here we have his pose and the original i gotta say that this dude nailed it couldn't be better well okay he could have made this better if he had bought like original fursuits for each original cat but other than that it's solid ah man look at those lazy cops oh except for officer mittens no no no mittens is on the case he's like i've got you right where i want you punk kudos kitten ah get it the bounty hunters looking at bounty toilet paper he's in there like hmm that's odd it says bounty but i can't find any information camping crocs with built-in survival tools so you have rope and a compass and also a dwindling sense of fashion no seriously if you go around wearing this you're gonna look ridiculous it's almost worth dying in the wilderness just so you don't have to wear these oh yeah a crusader body pillow it's got the power of god and anime on its side it's not gay if it's tsa yeah now go ahead and rub me up i feel like this creep just goes to tsa just to harass them the tsa see them and they're like oh man jerry's back guys hey what are you staring at is it my childlike body didn't anybody tell you it's rude to stare this looks like the coolest kid in an anime high school if he had aged 40 years before he attended his first day of school all in all it's a cool look fisher price introduces happy hour playset includes pretend bar bar stools and beer bottles because what better way to engage your child's imagination than to dress them up and have them pretend to drink alcohol i mean truth be told that's probably where they're gonna go when they're 21 anyways so you might as well teach them young right no really is this right it feels kind of wrong you see this is part of the spartan battle they just don't tell you about you know everybody thought those spartan battles were like you know sword and shield and it was but nobody ever talked about the helicopter i mean how else did you think the spartans won wait did the spartans win i don't know it doesn't matter next meme ah yes the hammer of dnd uh you better hope you don't get hit with a solid 20. that's gonna do some damage so here we have melania melania melania and melania here we have beautiful mother uh oh mother nature says you oh well that's not pleasant at all huh usually you catch people staring at the painting but in this one the painting's staring at you and i mean to be fair can you blame them they're like defying the laws of logic just to check this woman out they're like hey i know we're still paintings but gosh darn look at her uh [Music] uh bojack horseman is this is this you you look weird man oh man this cyberpunk beta looks so cool i mean the graphics look so realistic seriously though is this like a gta vice city like knockoff thing i mean either way it's cool but still is it like a skin or something i don't know what this is but it's definitely not cyberpunk look we all like lego star wars but when you mix the live action with the legos things just get messy okay leave samuel l jackson alone oh man this concert's so awesome hold up let me take a quick calculation uh don't you mean photo no why would i take a photo what am i some kind of weirdo see you know you're just putting your feet up you know you're just relaxing but uh your shadow tells a different story uh yikes sonic the hedgehog hey get it cause it's it's a hog made out of hedges do you get the joke blurst face swap look i'm sure you were trying to get the hulk but because i got your hand i'm just creeped out please please just delete this from the internet oh no oh this poor kid has uno but little does he know the other person with the cards is about to ruin his life god have mercy on this kid's soul geez now if this seat doesn't scream true american then i don't know what will seriously is that a chair or a couch hey guys so if you're wondering why zack or cougar's videos are way higher quality than mine it's because they make their videos on their ultra deluxe microwaves i i just can't beat that technology so uh which door is the men's and which one's the woman's oh you know which one's the men's room and which one's the women's room just take a closer look the evolution of mario so we have all of these up to oh okay that that uh mario kind of switched up on us so this is why we don't have a shrek 5. apparently shrek and fiona went hypebeast on us and now are just flexing their stuff online oh man shrek you changed bro ah the punisher cat only a total badass could own this cat matter of fact this cat probably owns itself imagine trying to tell this cat what to do it's like i'm punisher i'll beat your head imagine trying to tell this cat what to do it'll probably look at you like no you use the litter box little beer what are you gonna do you're gonna step up to this cat no you're not you're gonna cower and hide in the corner like okay man just leave me alone i'm almost convinced this cat has guns so we're just gonna use the tongs here to grab the little donut ball i know it's just a perspective trick but honestly that's so cute jesus getting his nails done oh oh those nails jesus why would you want this to happen he's sitting there like oh yeah i like this color mark zuckerberg not gonna lie even in this 3d animation he looks more human than he does in real life it's just impressive at this point butterfly knife that's for chumps i use a butterfly fork dear lord we come together to say whoa hey hey hold up this is not what they meant when they said come together for christ jeez see cat you're perfectly fine with mooning us but when humans moon the cat then it's weird you know what wipe that concerned look off your face cat because you've been doing this to humans for way too long take a look at this chainsaw it's power level is over 9000. i don't know what inspired you to take this photo but i am so glad you did because this wow this is precious you know what if we're being honest if eric andre was the host instead of murray the joker probably would have never shot up the place wow that fly must have really wanted to get out of that place this is like the superman of flies so here we have copy and then we have paste oh that's actually really sweet i like this hmm now how does somebody find themselves in this particular so you draw the face on the balloon and when you blow it up it's uh oh oh it's it's just as tiny oh that's kind of a letdown donald duck ass destroyer doradorodora the destroyer i feel like this door would say something like hola i'm gonna shove my boots up your ass uh don't you mean boot no boots come here oh god milf self storage anals oral buffet the die through the hoe depot and last but not least harm your neighborhood grocer ah so these are the stores the degenerates go to in fact i visit these places quite often okay okay what is this is this building like low on money like they can't afford bathrooms so they just create a hole ah this this is just a death waiting to happen what pineapple and if that wasn't weird enough the above it says sweetens up that well you can read it i'm not gonna read it but you can read it okay kids color in this picture but mrs williamson this is a picture from grand theft auto 5. that's right tommy now if you turn the page you'll get to color in somebody running over a prostitute have fun imagine uh just being these guys just doing your job and then these dogs are over here they're just yeah how to live to be 100 live to be 99 then be very careful oh no oh no i don't like this i who i don't like giant woody head on normal body or andy human head on tiny doll body norton antivirus professional edition ah professional edition although it's from 2003 so it might be outdated don't know if it's gonna protect you bud two casually approached child look he's just inviting him to the spooky club okay there's nothing wrong with this not weird at all you aquaman the aquaman she tells you not to worry about ah love yeah as a friend oh okay this guy's got the bamboo sniper he's not messing around do not cross this guy's path oh no that's uh i don't know about this one this is not uh the best idea no water burb the burb on top's like what are you doing in there though top secret bottom secret these pigeons you in the wrong neighborhood foo if you think nobody cares if you're alive try missing a couple of car payments new message to my love we are done i am in love with your sister i'm typing with a carrot right now naughty cat of the week bit of hole in my brother's ear nice cat of the week did not eat garbage this week oh good job dwight milton maybe someday maybe someday you'll get on the the nice cat of the week list don't worry i'm okay so so hot too hot oh my god frick there is a chihuahua in this crust bread pizza i who is this cosplay you know what it checks out in my book okay it's lightning mcqueen as a corvette i think but that's not the the elephant in the room it's um the sofa on top of it uh okay spending money again bro bro that's kind of cringe this tomato it uh it's an ally it speaks to him we are looking for graphic designer jesus christ they uh you know it's desperate when you got to go into pain also can you imagine a movie playing on that thing that'd be awesome tired happy grumpy despacito detention for saying hippity-hoppity women are property yikes what is this what is this a round dice or die it's one that this makes me want to die am i right good girl swallow fight eating disorders i don't know about this one oh my god oh this there's this one uh not quite pikachu in there hmm oh doggo you messed up you messed up you don't go on the ice i want to see what happened after this i want to see the the the running up and then the instant regret crocker my name is doug dimidom and i can't kick your ass without getting closer the love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly well better give him a smooch oh my god these images always they're they're the best i love seeing the behind the scenes of them too oh um i don't know about this uh why is he there why watch your ep [Music] uh yes we found two faces in this image the soldier and the tree it watches speaking of trees this family tree i i don't think this uh i don't think this lines up i don't think it uh no this raises some questions save your family from boredom at showbiz pizza save your family oh my god why are there um hand prints i uh bloody handprints uh what kind of someone just throw tomatoes at it or who this raises a lot of questions why is it finn from adventure time all you had to do was follow the damn train cj uh why though is that is that the greta or whatever her name is i don't this image also raises a lot of questions holy cow yeah instead of using poker chips i mean they have some there but instead of using poker chips the prizes are just toilet paper and these trying times all hail the garlic yes i too praise garlic bailey george w bush but he's a yu-gi-oh player it's time to duel get it on google play get gay [Music] gingerbread man you know what yeah yes you are you're the gingerbread man good job oh man this this image makes me sad i don't know why um but it does that poor giraffe if god loves me why can't i get a big titty goth girl gf well it turns out god was the big titty goth girl gf the whole time oh my god this this is an amazing theory jack skellington and zero are just the grinch and max but dead need a haircut i why is he under there han solo and shrek dress the same hold on let me confirm this you know what yeah pretty much pretty much this is funny i like this this is yeah this yeah funny left ah yes my favorite gas station hell whoa scyther suddenly hugged you oh no this guy pitching his kingpin cosplay be like it's a hell of a freaking cosplay you're gonna love this ah yes the ding ding-dong glider fly be free oh no a kiwi bird please just put it back together oh my god the krusty krab it's real please select the payment method credit card octopus what fun fact this is a picture of the earth uh billions of years later when all the water's gone and the sun just deep fries all of the uh countries yeah it's it's pretty much pretty gnarly new massage technology try it yup this is actually how it works oh man i uh this is um i wouldn't like this i wouldn't like someone uh getting an old embarrassing photo of me strapping it to their face and then just surrounding me hey vsauce michael here where are your fingers she would like to know what is this covert milk delivery oh my god that dog but a minecraft dog this is cursed oh man out of all the cosplays i've seen this has got to be one of the worst i don't like it i love when netflix posters line up like this this is incredible it's it's a nicholas cage pillow but he looks like a slug welcome all colors all sexes all orientations all religions all cultures all abilities all ages all sizes except the danish love lives here hello my name is tom riddle i see you have found my nokia good luck destroying this horcrux definitely not bees shake vigorously before opening i am not bernie i wonder how many people ran into him thinking he was bernie before he had to get that shirt that's a weird looking motorcycle in that parking spot but uh i'm sure he's fine the burb he requires chocolate each year in the united states more than 8 000 parrots are convicted of murder it's okay you're safe holy crap lois it's han griffin and the chicken from family guy but there's boba fett i don't fully i get the joke i've seen the whole peter griffin inviting the chicken thing but i didn't know it was in the star wars parodies as well oh the doggo's providing uh he's being a stand for the phone that's that's adorable not sure how sanitary it is but on the cuteness level it's pretty up there oh my god these comics oh that's awful this is awful do plant sneeze hypothesis plants probably sneeze experiment feathers pepper feet conclusion plants don't sneeze damn billy eilish plus ricardo equals billy ricardo ricardo eilish i don't like this just before you die swallow a whole bag of popcorn kernels your cremation will be epic home generators powered by [ __ ] not a fan oh my god this reminds me of the movie spider-man from 2002 where like his fingers have tiny tiny tiny spider legs coming out of them super weird we're not spider legs but little like hook things even you know the mona lisa or putin ah my favorite album rain sounds that unfortunately include the frequent cries in my cat because you wouldn't shut up while i was recording this yeah this that's how it works whenever you uh close up your hoodie your your face actually gets smaller what what is this message supposed to say like frick you satellites freak you space it's just everything rtx off rtx on man i dislike this okay this is uh this is pretty impressive make a scuff on your car actually look uh uh not accidental i guess i love when people make 2d images like this 3d it just gives you a whole other vibe you know uh yes the inverted pb and j the pbnj donut or bagel the loaf of bread sandwich and then the meat witch with the bread in between the meat security dog that's what that is yup uh yep i don't need glasses help all right i'm coming here i go oh no it's fake the sharks they've become smarter [ __ ] [ __ ] you was fine this person just remaking their teacher on the sims oh risky move oh my god i love these images where it's it's clearly not what's happening here this guy does not have an arm that long but you know we can pretend oh i've seen this design for cigarette boxes and uh yeah yeah basically hey bro are you sure you're not gonna get fired for spilling all this beer well my boss could go suck i don't care what he says turn down an aisle in target to find this that's right surrender ninja turtles put your hands up okay man chill the alien stapler not gonna lie this is so accurate i'm i'm okay with this this is just blessed uh i don't want to be mean but yes uh captain america after quarantine you know what he may have stayed inside ate a couple of snacks you know every now and then but you know what he's still the hero we love uh oh no it is i child your creator oh boy this is getting a little too meta for me it's a drawing looking at his drawing self looking at the self who's drawing the drawings oh that's confusing okay okay i would be like oh this is so disrespectful to the president if it wasn't such a good photoshop i mean look at that somebody knows how to use photoshop and you know what they're just killing it he even got the abcs in there just mwah perfect r slash oddly satisfying again this is really cool but it begs the question why did this happen who's in control how did this even happen oh it's a little teddy bear this right here this is blessed ah yes the real life blast toys can you believe that my mom told me that pokemon aren't real i mean look at this this is perfect proof you're so beautiful oh stop it you're going to make me blush oh no i'm sorry hey tommy look out ah this is just perfect do you guys remember the film night at the museum where like all the statues and like museum relics came to life i can just imagine jackie robinson coming to life and just swinging at people with his bat like ah take this oh hey you got me a christmas present you shouldn't have oh i couldn't afford a present this year so i got you this box seems like a pretty solid gift no no not the bts that's right listen to the bts savor it oh you know actually they're not too bad i might start listening to this what no you're supposed to hate it what you can't like the music what are you some kind of weirdo ladies and gentlemen bow to your doggo king i don't know what ceremony this is but i want to be a part of it so badly all right all right so this looks very creative and i'm sure it took somebody a lot of time to make this because of course it looks custom made but it's an old meme and quite frankly it makes me sad to see ah ma'am i don't want to startle you but you have a clown that's right behind you if those fairies weren't there to protect you you'd be dead already ah yes uh the very well-known corki wait what are you gonna do with that corkscrew adventure time come on grab your friends we're gone to a very distant land jake the cowardly dog and finn the old man the fun that'll never end its courage the cowardly dog hoe creeper oh it's so cute i'm just a little duck i mean you don't have to like the video if you don't want to but uh but i mean you always can hey amy i peed my name into the snow yeah so did i hey yo what the [ __ ] what in the wily coyote happened here well whatever happened here they definitely found a creative way to show it off this meme right here this little face swap shenanigan despicable literally welcome to top 10 photos taken before disaster number five when the seesaw attacks usually when kids play on the playground they usually pass around a ball but this kid's about to get his ball popped oh it's a little corgi in your coffee the only reason this is park cursed is because you're gonna eventually have to drink it and you're going to feel terrible about ruining the doggo picture uh what's that you play doom for the story sure you do where have i seen those heads before oh there it is there we go i knew i recognized it this is sad you see a lot of people have already seen this picture including myself everybody usually thinks that the girl is falling down out of the slide but what's really happening is the slide is sucking her up like she was just walking on the floor and then the slide just swoops her right up into the slide portal water fire earth air long ago the four toilets lived together in harmony then everything changed when the taco bell dinner attacks attention passengers for your own safety please put on these oxygen masks you're not gonna trample on my freedom i ain't putting on no mask it's my liberty and my right to die well to be fair this person does have a point by not putting on a mask he's only hurting himself whereas real masks could potentially hurt other people so i mean this is different like marge take this oh shaggy i tried so hard to do the marge voice let me try it again oh shaggy you gotta be quicker than that hold on a second why would anybody want a hot air balloon of spongebob he lives in the ocean that's the opposite of air and while we're at it why is he getting his crotch torched no one ever told me spongebob was into bdsm torture what a what a terrible relationship honey i need my leg come on george i told you to do the dishes this is what you get all right look at this cloud and tell me what you see if you said you saw an alligator holding a smoking gun then you just might be my type of person hey baby yeah come closer to me i got something i want to show you under the bed come on oh yeah uh you see they're actually my glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs aren't they so cool uh yeah i'm gonna go ah yeah baby that's what i'm talking about goth crocs for the edgy type of seven-year-olds all right here's what you're going to want to do you're going to want to take your protractor out cut precisely into this part of the bread and once you got that you just shove a banana in there oh yeah life hack what it's a life hack you see on the road you got a slow lane and on the other side of the road you got a fast lane but now tesla is introducing the fly lane god what can't elon musk do how to draw hentai ah yes a man of culture i see spider-man too long at home oh god tom holland what happened to you introducing hot wheels introducing hot wheels the oj simpson white bronco chase oh god what in the ice age knockoff is this that doesn't even look like an elephant trunk that looks like it should be censored god dang that's this is just awful you know part of me thinks that this is just ink on the floor that spilled everywhere but the other part of me believes like some type of cartoon explosion went off what is this jojo's adventures but like with ricardo oh sign me up i am the king of keyboards all shall bow down to me yeah not gonna lie that looks really uncomfortable to sit on introducing the anime face keyboard can you imagine trying to type on something like this you're trying to write your english paper and it ends up sounding like oh i just want to turn in my english paper please stop where have i seen this baby before he looks like he could be an art student i don't know ah yes the kiwi egg we meet again you sick [ __ ] seriously though i'm pretty sure this thing has been in both blessed and cursed images and honestly i don't like any of it coming in at number one we have link oh god what on earth is happening here they all look so creepy oh you know me just chilling at the beach or am i oh that's a thousand iq play right there i i like this you see everybody's been asking where is the loch ness monster but nobody's asking how is the loch ness monster cheer up buddy jeez le look at that cat's neck i want to make a comment about how the cat looks physically deformed but that's nowhere near my neck of the woods seriously though this picture is pretty nectacular i'm not even kidding this cat might be the neck big thing alright enough with the neck puns moving on to the next meme ah yes crabs the krabby patty formula is mine plankton no oh you know what i really do hope that you have to live with this tattoo for the rest of your life because because god if you're stupid enough to get it you're stupid enough to live with it all right you got your mask on that's pretty cool but when you go to open your mouth uh this happens and i don't know man that doesn't seem right please don't hurt me wow i feel so much safer oh goodness you know when i first looked at this i was like i don't see anything wrong with this it looks pretty normal and then i realized that these are cats on owl's bodies which makes me believe that i'm going crazy because at first when i saw it i thought it was normal hey oh man can i get the raw meat cut barber say no more fam i got you say no more fam i got you what can i say except delete this invincible moose in the next five kilometers yeah if you're gonna be traveling on this trail you're gonna need like a tank or something because this moose cannot be killed oh my god it's so big uh ma'am please don't talk about my neck like that i'm very self-conscious hmm a red three a red three oh gosh fine i'll draw ice dragon i choose you [Applause] aside from this being aesthetically pleasing i would never want to use this calculator oh my god i said calculator i make keyboard i meant keyboard should i have to do i have to retake it i no you know what i want everybody to know i'm an idiot and i said calculator i looked at a keyboard and i said calculator all right i'm an idiot let's go pepsi get your pepsi over here hey wait a second what are you drinking uh hello no no i'm not busy i'm just on my helicopter ride i can talk pikachu i choose you pikachu uh i'm sorry but that's what it looks like it would sound like you know what i'm gonna stop hating on people like this i'm gonna appreciate the drip he has the confidence to walk around with sexualized little horses on his shirt and you know what i gotta appraise that confidence hey look you've got four friends online yeah but looking at their profile pics i don't think i want to hang out with them although to be fair they definitely need a sandy so you know you could fill a spot for them jesus christ anna you can't just go poking people's eyes out what are you one of the three stooges you basically turned this man into stevie wonder god you're gonna get fired by disney this is going straight to hr you know the graduation hats never made accommodations for people like this and you know what i'm finally glad somebody had the courage to show off their hair good for this guy ah yes this is a this is a very sad story you see when a cat lays on your lap one does not simply move you have to wait until the cat moves and if the cat lays on your lap and doesn't want to move then you can't move either ah this poor guy at least you've respected the rules this is definitely an odd bathroom can you imagine just three people staring back at somebody using the toilet they're all just like mesmerized it kind of looks like a talent show like so you think you can poop honestly i'd watch that show oh so you think i'm crazy i'll show you crazy and if you don't get that reference i implore you to go watch the show futurama i'm pretty sure it's on either netflix or hulu and check it out because the show is pretty awesome and so is this character specifically you've heard of free willy you've heard of air bud and you've heard of jaws but when you put them together you get this adorable mess and i love it this is either a really cheap battleship or a really expensive canoe either way i definitely want one for myself pikachu you slam pikachu oh god pikachu too much too much oh this is just nice except for the face that little smiley face is a little creepy but you know what it's still a great picture oh god is that big smoke i'll have two number nines a number nine large a number six with extra dip oh god it's an ant assassination what a brutal way to die hey bro i can't find the outlet it should be near the fence oh never mind i found it you know spider-man you know captain america but they all pale in comparison when you put them up against stan lee i mean look at this hunk oh so that's what the stonehedge was for they're just nether portals i should have known wait a second i feel like i've seen this picture before it wasn't with these people but the concept was the same do i make the same joke about it being the stepchild or do i just move on i don't know what to do here you know what i refuse to believe that good mythical morning in h3 productions didn't do this on purpose this was a calculated plan to create this exact image what it means i don't know but one day i'm gonna find out okay elements on the periodic table wait a second what's ah that's the element of surprise somebody give this man an f oh it's a nice day at the pool hey wait a second i don't even know if that's a bad thing i mean the dog looks happy it just it's just a little weird hey i don't know if you newbies know this but if you put two potatoes above a stick you can actually get the potato sword it doesn't kill monsters very well but it's the dopest sword out there brother is that you how did you get in there bin laden 911. yeah you know what i don't think i'll be rooting for this team show her the real you i love how this is like perfectly cropped so that they would all be looking at him and just like oh my gosh but really like what are they praising this guy is not packing anything not gonna lie these thighs are i can't believe i'm saying this but they're a little too thick for me this this is an accurate depiction 17 buzz cuts that'll convince you to shave your head first off we have zeus who when he shaves his head looks like a mr clean without a neck next we have goku who without his hair looks like a dreidel or an uncircumcised penis then we have candace who just is a [ __ ] monster [Laughter] oh cat you've been caught slipping no owner it's not what it looks like no who is this blessed for it's definitely not blessed for woody and it's definitely not blessed for attack on titans together it's just worse oh now that's some sick stuff everybody wants to get the perfect picture but these guys no they actually did it props to them i know it's not food but my brain is telling me that i definitely need to put this in my mouth i now pronounce you husband and wife what don't look at me i don't know what sound these things make how do you know they don't sound like chewbacca just be happy for the couple and so i wake in the morning and i step in the shower and then i look in the mirror and i go outside and i get eaten by a bird like what's going on oh i don't know if this is a legal in chess but if it is i might be interested in playing a little bit why is that window tilted who was in charge of building this house oh jesus christ um where is her head that's what i would like to know did this person really take a pepper and make a fancy coffee inside of it because that's what it looks like hey nice photos guys um did you maybe consider the fact that um one of you cannot jump ah i get it it's a pokemon joke i'm not totally uncultured i ask you have you ever seen a lady in her chicken looking so so fly uh now i have hmm i'm not sure where this is but something tells me they are not a fan of tick-tock cuphead mugman cup mug plague doctor mask but it's a worm on a string face thanks i love it honk if a kid falls out hmm i don't look i know it's probably a joke i hope but uh i don't know about this sticker guys uh the hidden cat don't tell anyone about it she'll kill you finding jesus too you tell me this fish is gonna find jesus oh god no no get out of my head please ah you know i think that they should replace all the people on money with skeletons that's just me though this is goofy i i like that nice rolex dude revengers endless tussle collect them all incredible fella regular raccoon token girl nighty night detective horse fedora ron hacker boy and greg oh my god a bus on the roof i know i know where this is this is the city museum in uh st louis missouri i've been here it's a cool place by the way i highly recommend checking it out if you're ever in the area oh dear lord um peppa pig what happened here please help us stop this cat his name is pancho and we love him but he can't come inside because of our open kitchen he is very kind please give him pets but keep him outside thank you oh he wants to come in oh man [Music] geez talk about having a third leg you know saying aquaman man i i don't remember looking like this what in the hell is garfield eating fun reflections uh hmm not sure the the braille is entirely necessary guys promoted content this will happen to your body if you eat one egg a day um i doubt that why pick one starter when you can choose all of them pokemon fusion plushies no thanks okay at first i was distracted by the fact that this lady is standing up on a brick wall trying to get some coconuts and that dog is uh someone better come get their dog hey this is a funny image of a cat but what if we content aware scale oh god no bring it back oh jack black a true treasure not just nationally but worldwide i'd say general kenobi ah the tom and jerry jerry the mouse hot wheels that looks terrifying actually look at all these people standing next to their uh renaissance painting counterparts then there's this guy the resemblance is just uncanny ah this guy is sleeping tight enjoying his rest and a son oh that's it he's gonna get good grades he's gonna go on a college get more good grades graduate college join nasa go to space get the hell out of the rocket take a super soaker he's gonna take that mother son on ah the funk engine i wanna hear what this cat's playing you know not only did the titanic um well kind of killed a lot of people but uh it also was responsible for a lot of deaths of penguins oh dear lord i the scientist from despicable me and he's a gamer now [Laughter] ah i remember when the smurf titans attacked mcdonald's only one man can stop them oh a tweety bird popsicle how bad could this possibly be oh dear lord oh canada what a nice cake um that's an american flag all right that's it this i want to see this car being driven i need it i need i need to see it operating you know i think it's time to be concerned about how clean your car really is when a plant starts growing in the back seat oh so this is how horses kiss you know i've always wondered um they just have they just smushed their faces against each other it all makes sense now batman without ears you know what i think that's a great look for him you know what i i've just realized i've been looking at this image for a little bit thinking he's just laying on the floor no um there there's water on the floor quite a bit of it actually i guess he's staying cool during the summer i'm not quite sure what this image is implying did she pull the sun out of her ass um is she using the sun to see up under her skirt uh you know what i don't know that maybe maybe some questions are best left unanswered i love when people color in memes onto the map even though they don't make any sense project hilsha project crab project fish project uh i'm sure you can figure it out you know something tells me the labels on this map are not quite correct splash mountain reading diary of a wimpy kid the entire series in fact this is incredible oh my god they're drowning this dog how awful hey officer take a look at your shadow that's how big you really are yep [ __ ] all right who swapped out florida with italy who did it good lord drawing on a cop card uh ballsy courtesy professionalism respect right anime the fresh prince of bel-air everyone's favorite it may just look like a um well actually i i don't know what that is but if you zoom in then just get get it just right getting hot in here is just me oh no someone's poked her eye out how rude god damn this dude puts the g in pigeon sorry i'll i'll move on also um i don't think anyone wants to try taking those fries ah how nice letting the birds free and oh god they're trying to kill each other how romantic two lovebirds just kissing and oh jesus christ what the hell i thought this guy was wearing fishnets i was about to say hey nice legs man don't ever give up god the frog strikes back happiness is temporary he's about to do it to him bad shark lava and boy girl interesting you know what i'll give it a watch oh this um this cave is not happy or it's not and it's actually just a giant turtle a ufo chicken coop that is super creative and i love it that cat has got a dumpy he also wants those fish uh don't don't let him get him hmm what happened in the editing for this image this is not right at all wha what's wrong with his arms oh man i uh i i don't like this peter pan not one bit ah always always funny to see the middle east accounts not doing pride stuff big yikes kindergarten class makes cannons for history display ah funny oh i i'm not a fan of this ritual that's going on this sacrifice don't be silly wrap your willy take one for free um i don't i wouldn't use those for rent very small one bedroom neighbors are dead quiet obama prism joe bidome donald trumpet kanye west robert brownie jr johnny deep hi i've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty no no get out of here you know what this is a great statue and i hope to see one uh giant somewhere one day he's licking the look at the ice cream very nicely done dude i love this image the anime pog great fantastic wonderful you know i finally watched spirited away recently and um kind of disappointed that uh this is not actually in the film you know what i think this is the nicest grenade i've ever seen not sure would work too well but you know to be honest i don't know if this is a reference to a game or not but um i get it because the queen is 94 right well actually she's 95 but we'll pretend that this meme is just um we'll pretend it's a year earlier you know what uh kellerman pressed i've never seen a dog hold five balls in their mouth before well unless of course we're talking about your mom spongebob squarepants he's lost his family and now his last daughter to violent prism he'll stop at nothing for the day of reckoning spongebob squarepants sounds kind of badass oh man i tell you what uh kingdom hearts is getting weird oh gus johnson he's always up to something and here it looks like he's just broken into your basement hmm the person who collected these images for me uh named this image hot dot jpeg kinda sucks sand gravel is too heavy for me who thought of drawing this that's what i would like to know oops um she blew up she blew like a like a bubble like a uh next one hmm you know maybe maybe uh reconsider this image um no one no one decided to point it out good lord and i think i'm impressive when i'm carrying grocery bags in the door wrapped around my fingers this guy's got a drink whatever that is in his pinky uh his phone and we've got to figure it out this guy doesn't even care about playing the game he just he just wants a nice slip and slide this is a way too clever alignment here ah another post with a cat um i don't like what this implies damn bernie um great work on the art but um how is this gonna help you become president i mean it is a little too late but cool i guess

Channel: EzPz

Views: 141,464

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/memes

Id: ayPj5ZC7N3M

Length: 464min 2sec (27842 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 20 2022