This Horror Game Made Me Laugh Hard

alrighty I know nothing about this one though apparently it takes place in the Iraq War so ah so I'm sure it's devoid of controversy that's fantastic it should be pretty good do we want to start as balathu or kurum I've got cursed or a card I'll do balasu then yeah you hear that Charlie every choice has a consequence don't fail those button prompts this time oh you bet your ass I will ah there we go oh this must be ancient Egyptian times probably I love ancient Egypt it's such a cool voice yeah mythology it's probably really hard to watch asses back then the days probably didn't have toilet paper oh God I imagine it's not hard to wash your ass though you just get into a pond and get out I think it's pretty hard because you can't see it true so it doesn't exist in your mind yeah sometimes just forget that I have a butthole here what am I doing oh take this oh I just sniped her holy [ __ ] all right so we've both already killed a person and it's only been two minutes yeah that's great are you a guy with paint on your face [Music] I actually don't remember he has a beard no Thief was it a bed or a helmet because this guy helmet that looks like a beard no way your people like that you can't even wash your own asses much less well no he's talking about washing washing asses oh my God it's the hot topic of the day over in ancient Egypt yeah your guy didn't have a beard it was a helmet it was a helmet yeah it was a pretty cool like helmet beard though and she just stabbed the [ __ ] out of you were you lying to me about what you did when she stabbed me she's clearly getting away oh no no no she's I can assure you she doesn't get away yeah there's the sniping moment I see so are we seeing the same thing now a bunch of shields yeah this is what the US Army swoops in to kill Gilgamesh yeah if I remember my history correct I've been dying a war for someone else yeah especially back then yeah like you only get one life well I guess that's still true today technology let's just we could come to we can come to terms Charlie let's just all right if I have a decision I'll form an alliance with you yeah it was forming alliance against the zombie board I will help you oh relationship updated we formed a relationship you pause on purpose yeah I just wanted to check our relationship oh yeah so are you are you baluster yeah I'm balathu all right so you were shocked at the death of the king great relationship oh my controllers had a battery that's a good sign Dave you gilgavish's curse I'll be right back soon is an actual figure in Acadian history so he's not Gilgamesh or like what's up with that thanks to the bitsy and fiends Gilgamesh is before this guy okay I've already been shaking and seeing my King dead that was shocking I'm supposed to help you here I'll just let you do it actually is Payback all right let's see if I put enough elbow grease in there dumb sacrifice well that was just me no yeah that was a bit far I didn't make that choice I didn't have a say in that one I bet these guys die later well considering the game takes place during the Iraq War and this is 223 BC I think it's a safe bet that they don't make it or they find a time portal oh true true they go into cryostasis wake me when you need me oh there's a button to cry sweet you just sent me something you have to control your heartbeat oh I'm good at this oh Jesus Christ again is this demon blind can I see your [ __ ] massive elbow swinging oh [ __ ] sorry [ __ ] idiot wait did you blow yours too at the same time somehow it like focused on me for some reason no she was just all right I've seen him it was a tactical Speed Run skip yeah I know this lag chat cockroach well I'll protect you in the helmet stay away from him hey look at the back of my head it looks like I've I'm wearing like a skin suit can you see the same in my head yeah there is like a seam in your head I wonder what's I'm a demon inside I bet oh or maybe you're like one of those like dolls that like split apart and there's another doll inside or maybe a US Army Ranger Clint Stevens and this is my ghillie suit you're undercover in 220 BC Jimmy is a friend it's my double enemy we helped me stop this fighting my my super villain yeah I'm right why are you why are you shouting I'm right next to you I'm trying to alert the demon do you think oh do you think this is like the Gateway into hell or something oh maybe oh my God it's coming Jackson don't turn around Jesus Christ on my screen you're opening the door oh my God it's the curse of Gilgamesh we're hallucinating it's telling us against each other fight I don't fight I was gonna oh I what the [ __ ] Jackson no fight you you chose betray you son of a [ __ ] my instincts your instinct is to betray I thought you wanted to fight no fight the demon what happened to the Brotherhood the US Army code what the [ __ ] oh you wanted to gentlemanly duel why would I want to gentlemanly the auditing the door [Music] you absolutely deserve this [ __ ] what if we both hit betrayal we just like hit each other at the same time yeah it would be kind of it would have become like a Star Wars lightsaber duel as all the demons watch every year they have one Banger and it's always kind of the same what do you mean this song the soundtrack what the [ __ ] actually two cells in this yeah that was a big Crush of mine when I was a kid oh yeah you bet actually so was what's the what's her name the um the other one in Sweet Life uh uh I don't remember Brenda Brenda Song yeah probably I just want to let let you know that you can trust me from now on I needed to get that out of my system yeah no I have no doubt I can trust you from this point forward plus I don't all right Luke if I'm being completely honest I was in character and my character didn't trust your character from the time when you knocked over that rock oh it was an RP check I get you think maybe what we just did started the Iraq war or something how do you think it ties that's how they found the oil Shall We Begin as you are what was that finger point I don't know yet was that like a mistake are we are we trapped in some kind of time Loop keep a record that was a blooper he was going to pick his nose uh here we go this looks like the same place right well 2003 the future wait so are you seeing us are you seeing people make out at the moment no no no no no wait you're actually kissing someone yeah what oh I thought I thought you knew that oh no what wait I'm like over here seriously well you so you don't see Eric right now I am actually with Ashley Tisdale okay so we're seeing completely different things man what the [ __ ] you have the cool you're having sex with Ashley Tisdale here laying pipe fighting for my country what the [ __ ] are you doing I'm over here just leaving a helicopter as Eric [ __ ] charterton mcdairia and you're able to have sex holding a check no I'm just talking to some nerd at the door dude I'm I'm actually laying pie we would make I thought when you said making out like you knew that no I thought you were Jason there's no I'm going to your stream there's no way that's happening the Army's fantastic over here yeah there's no [ __ ] way over here what are you doing why there were titties luckily you didn't see it actually you saw titties already oh my God hey you're gonna look at my Ashley tits tails quite like you've got Champions Point of View lucky oh what the [ __ ] dude I think I'm a cheater oh you're cheating on someone yeah I just picked up a photo and it's me it's actually Tisdale with like some blonde haired guy oh that's me you're cheating on me you sick [ __ ] you just keep betraying me no it was a mistake it was just army stuff you were so far away it's been four years away from you what do they call a soldier's wife who cheats while he's away or Jody I don't know but I'm not really away we're in the same Battlefield you're just in another room here I think that's just still cheating oh Jody is the guy who [ __ ] your wife okay okay hey it's George Bush is he combat ready what the [ __ ] why is your storyline so much more fun working on like Humvees and [ __ ] I'm just carrying a briefcase around and talking to nerds I'm meeting President Bush he's giving me like a purple star and now we're making out again what the [ __ ] can we fully uh pay this like you know that I cheated now but can you pretend that your character doesn't know sure yeah oblivious we can RP you'll know when you see me I look like Johnny Cage oh I'm already like defending your honor that's my wife all right I've got some information for you and it's not about my infidelity all right hit me this is gonna be a solar eclipse soon and I bet that's gonna kick off the curse man everything you're doing sounds so much better than the [ __ ] I'm doing wait are you Eric oh wait no you're yeah I'm Eric I'm Rachel hey oh Rachel you look great uh are you oh it just popped up uh like keywords underneath your name it said you're rational and insecure yeah that did that earlier you know I'm insecure this is my team yeah [ __ ] up Eric also Jason said that you're a queen [ __ ] oh so is that choker standard military issue gear I don't know it's 2003 the the standard rules of engagement may have been different back then since you've apparently [ __ ] the whole platoon so yeah if it was up to me everyone would have to go into battle wearing butt plugs so wait Saddam Hussein was using demons I don't know if he was using them he might just be in the same place demons were the Army is giving us a ride out there I think he's that makes a lot more sense than invading someone for oil if Saddam Hussein had demons on his side I'd be invading that [ __ ] to carry out a full weapons action we have to close the portal to hell I swear to God if one more of these guys gives me attitude I'll make them have sex with my wife I have a choice to make here but if I just say nothing like what happens that's what I did and I look like a dick I'm just not gonna say anything well then I'll say nothing too what the soldiers figured out go dark until weapons are secured don't break radio sounds for the 24 hours well that was an uncomfortable silence we need to come together as team leaders and decide who dies first yeah I want that dead which one they're all kind of nerdy ladies and gentlemen that one if I had a choice I'd probably say Joey Joey's the one with the glasses I'm on it yeah that's the one I was talking about too yeah I don't know man maybe I'll get you some velcro boots so you don't have to worry about you why is everyone roasting Merwin what do you mean everyone you did that I did the same [ __ ] yeah I was like are you afraid of heights [ __ ] what you want me to wipe your ass for you as well what is up with ass wiping so someone on the development team had a difficult time learning that procedure it's just a lot of unbushed asses going around in that Game Dev Studio uh I'll give you a chance I'm gonna fan out and hold fire but I had the chance of just scorching Earth here yeah thank you I need to find my son I need to have a last conversation with him at least oh god I think I'm about to be killed by American people I really should just [ __ ] blast you you betrayed me in the catacombs earlier that was that guy don't take it out on a man trying to have a relationship with his son Drew I guess I could have killed the whole village like if I did that I would have killed this entire city it seems yeah for one Grudge that's why you're not in the army I'm about to take the shot you're about to take the what I I mean um what who are you shooting we're just at it hey hey I'm taking a shot at friendship I'm offering a hand uh I'm gonna get mad I'm gonna say [ __ ] your Voodoo [ __ ] oh that was a bad call okay Jason just he just started the curse oh God yeah no we're feeling it immediately Jesus Christ luckily luckily no one I know was in there not yet oh my God the nerdy guy just got shot in the foot I'm the man of my word oh my God we're getting massacred why are you doing this Jackson see my face no all right I'm coming down to offer a peace treaty yeah now it's probably the perfect time for a peace negotiation I think let's all sit down like adults I've got good news Jackson we're breaking out the white phosphorus you're ready didn't even show up yet I just approved it yeah it's inbound oh my gosh good luck I hope you weren't over there I was I was actually fighting for you the entire time what do you mean you hit my [ __ ] helicopter with an RPG it used to be too my leader forced me to oh so you guys killed the nerd oh he's fully dead well it's looking like it uh we can leave now hey [ __ ] killed the nerdy guy why'd you do that I didn't mean to it was just I was just trying to teach him a lesson I wonder if there was a way to save him I didn't really make any choices you just kind of stormed him and [ __ ] him up um I forgot to kill an innocent person yeah I can't decide if I do it or not I'll let him go what's he gonna do guys good good man doesn't anyone speak English anymore all right well that was just a weird thing to say yo did you hear that yeah oh you're behind me I see you flanked me they're not Mitch I I'll choose not to kill you don't worry we can be friends so say We'll learn to come together as a team I'm about to kill you for starting this earthquake Rachel yeah well he doesn't know he he got cheated on oh no but she's full on set I hate you I don't want anything to do with you true all right so now we're gonna have to come together as a team yeah about the demons we'll have to be friends now I mean I guess I'm surrounded by robots really no no I know exactly what you mean I'm on my way oh Jesus Christ uh there's monsters down here I'll be there in just a second I'm tracking him down Noble I can end this wall Right Here Charlie if you give me a permission yeah kill him kill the demons foreign stupid demons didn't even have guns oh there's a newspaper here oh God another prophecy what's it say someone's gonna get ripped to shreds I I can't a lion hey tell me you don't want a lion in here look at the look at the okay look at the pedal oh no some oh I'll just take your word for it I'll just keep my eyes peeled for a lion this is just a circus down here I think it was you that's gonna get ripped to shred by the lion so just stay away from any lion holes all right all right y'all try and avoid their nests I think that's the guy we both insulted before we left no that was Joey oh it was Melvin oh maybe it was Merlin [ __ ] just happened Merwin probably can't wait to die right now Merwin what the [ __ ] it get up Merwin I'm giving him some morphine oh it's now we need to turn him into the Hulk oh yeah can we blast him with some gamma radiation Nick Nick let him go Jesus Christ did anyone bring some emergency anime maybe we can show the uh Demon's anime yeah oh Jesus Christ I actually did choke him Jesus Christ the [ __ ] I choked him to death yeah that was really impressive you've got some strong hands I just had my hand over his mouth I wasn't like tugging on his neck so what's that two deaths from me now yeah you've killed two different nerd yeah you've killed three different people now it's really impressive but the demons even chasing us at that point I I'm not sure I think we were fine I think we escaped I was just joking Silo to me man Eric sucks I think you should kick him while he's down like hand him divorce papers I if I was playing as Rachel I would this guy sucks why what's he doing he's being all passive aggressive that and he's just like hey does this remind you of Old Times Rachel as we're just walking around like an old [ __ ] tomb yeah our first date was actually in a demon infested Nest I think I'm in a scary tense moment because I'm alone at least you have someone to talk to there's someone who actively hates me yeah the demons are just watching they're like [ __ ] don't want to get involved in that [ __ ] you just kill somebody else I choose not to shoot should I shoot this monster Charlie shoot it shoot it you probably can't make peace with Okay good idea maybe that was like the Diplomat that you just executed in Cold Blood it's been so long since we had visitors uh like injured friends oh Jesus I think I caused it I can't fall on it somehow and decapitated all right I have the I have another Kill by the way first confirmed demon kill there you're on fire MVP have you seen a demon yet no I haven't seen one yet you've killed like five of them but I haven't seen one yeah I'm the expert I know how the hierarchy works the chain of command are we used to what where are you just look at the bullets you've just disappeared Rachel Rachel oh there you are you came back for Me Maybe climbing out of the cavern the demons took you you won't believe what's up here Jackson more lore no good oh Christ look at The Honkers on that thing damn 's aren't tripping that shit's sick this was created by them what did you just say that demons aren't tripping look at look at this you're not young anymore why would you say that I am young I'm younger than you you son of a [ __ ] yeah not by much I can still be hip nobody [ __ ] what does that even mean the team inside in character oh yeah that's definitely what US Army Ranger Rachel Collins would say how's the lake holding like Oh you mean the prosthesis I lost my leg back on the highway seriously going to play this record again yeah [ __ ] but there's nothing that could be done about it yeah why why did you even say that I didn't say it I didn't choose that I haven't done but you're the one behind the wheel remember Rachel's close this meant everything she was drunk driving in a car and lost his leg and now she's rude to him why would she even bring up how's the leg it's just insulting yeah I refuse to say anything no no say something say something what's on your mind Rachel you hurt me too much Rachel it feels like Eric didn't do anything wrong he just happened to be in the passenger seat When Rachel yeah yeah Rachel got into an accident and he lost his leg and then she left him oh he's all he's done is one get cheated on two lose his leg in a tragic accident caused by her and then three worked and do his job that's all he's done yeah Rachel really seems like the villain like the demons aren't so bad so when did you stop wearing your wedding ring Jesus Christ she's not no it doesn't oh that's close to my heart Jesus Christ stop wearing it there left I [ __ ] so many guys Eric oh no he's not looking at me as a cockering now for all the sexual partners Eric Take a Hint bro oh my God please Jesus Christ this is so sad this is this is this is rough it means to me see him yeah he's coming it's two people yeah this guy's really uh we can shoot him right now no shoot damn it Rachel don't [ __ ] this up Charlie all right you just here's the sound of you wetting your pants I just start whining about why you won't take me back right now is he the Predator he can hear our heartbeat yeah this is just a normal man oh I actually [ __ ] it up sorry I wasn't paying attention yeah what what a shocking surprise yeah what what do you mean you have killed multiple of us already I at least he always [ __ ] the hot pizza I just get bored of just pressing hard actually seeing the like quick button prompts you're always the one that misses them all right I don't even see the reason to pull her up please don't cut me off I'm so sorry what's she doing oh my god oh wait that's not me I'm not making that choice Charlie what the [ __ ] I'm debating I don't know are you gonna are you gonna take me back are you gonna take me back I'll take you back I'll tell you about this this is you sure okay all right all right all right well I thought he just stabbed himself he just kills himself wow God damn it more quick time events over the knife at him but again are you gonna take me back are you sure I promise I will take you back all right and you're not gonna you're not gonna talk to Nick anymore yeah he's out of my life completely okay keep going oh he's probably fine if I had to guess well that story wrapped up nicely yeah it had a happy ending yeah he died a [ __ ] No Redemption apparently if I cut the rope we would have both survived you know that probably makes sense yeah but then we would have never gotten back together yeah true yeah pretty much everything that's gone it could go wrong has gone wrong in our place for yeah I think we've lost someone at every pivotal moment it's probably our worst playthrough yet definitely this is also the one with the most action like take for example little hope you didn't even have the option of doing anything important to like three hours in yeah hold tight did you [ __ ] it up no no I got it I got it just in time you'll probably have to do a QuickTime event too so no I'm good it looks simple enough your head falls directly into it is that Joey it's I can I can assure you it's no one on our Squad they're all bad who's the [ __ ] Joey nerd you heard him just now it can't be that is definitely him extreme I'm telling myself a lot you [ __ ] shot him and we had to listen to him cry I'm about to possibly make the worst decision check your weapons don't leave anything at you I do it do it don't be a [ __ ] should I get a gun or a weapon first no I'm sure it's fine he's not gonna be mad all right whatever about to save his life he's gonna be happy it's still angry you lied it's angry it's angry as [ __ ] why why should I filmed oh man what happened I failed my QuickTime event it might be all over for Saleem so far things things are going okay over here oh no it's gonna rip my what the [ __ ] it's on fire oh there were lunch to sunlight all right good wait that's a good Intel Jackson I've learned something these guys are all failing their QuickTime events right now oh there's a demon near me Jackson wish me luck remember what I said about the sunlight okay I'll keep that in mind does a flashlight work or no no has to be natural Sun I mean there's a good chance I actually don't have to follow the sounds of the Demons but I'm not a [ __ ] either oh I just met Salim yeah I'm telling you this demon oh and in fact there was a demon when he just stood upstairs oh God no I was fishing in RuneScape oh that was unlucky timing so Liam do something sorry sorry I didn't know there's gonna be a quick time event I thought oh God is actually impressive well I'm sorry I didn't know there was going to be a time for Christmas no Celine help no [ __ ] you you deserve it no sleep [ __ ] you you deserve it maybe next time you win you're a quick time [ __ ] now it's the heartbeat again I immediately failed it which makes no sense because I did it perfectly I'm probably I'm probably fine I don't know how I failed the heartbeat I'll show you how it's done see it was a good plan I was a diversion I found a human leg bone and I'm using it as a weapon it's probably Eric's other good leg in three weeks in a shocking twist of fate I've just added a character to our cast would you pick up Jesus Christ Clarice oh she's not dead yet what you haven't killed her what in like five seconds yes as well don't feel much like climbing out there oh [ __ ] I've got valuable Intel wait what there's zombies demon zombies are they scary looking or do they just look like humans they look like humans with little horns it's kind of cute wait what we're climbing up a hill now why didn't you do that before when Eric was hanging on for life and she said I met Eric at climbing class I'm not seeing everything come up Sergeant she literally just saved me yeah but she's turning into a demon fix it up paracetamol's not gonna solve that maybe just some Robitussin will get rid of it I don't know man you haven't tried yet try and save her no it's too late so here's what happened on my hand I was telling her that this medication up ahead and we'll try to get there to to save her fix her and then ride it in front of the medication I left like across the chasm that she can't get across I was gonna throw the rope across to it and let her across but I chose not to what the [ __ ] and she's a demon she's gonna kill me she's not a demon yet she was she was growing horned and [ __ ] maybe a59 this Edith could have saved her oh nice Jackson good suppressive fire hopefully I don't [ __ ] up my [ __ ] we'll see you we'll see how it goes keep in mind my Quick Time Event records not looking great tonight and I'm not looking forward to this don't kill Salim whatever you do never mind perfect aim I'm nuts nice yeah moving up moving up excellent work oh this is so tactical yeah this is surgical right now this is textbook Jesus Christ oh no I nailed it oh my God that was very scary Jackson excellent work are you gonna have a quick Time Event coming up so be careful another quick Time Event okay double double keep in mind on it on it Here Comes superhero Jason The Kills it kills Rachel oh beautiful stuff yep see that's tactical right there baby that was quick time too I had to aim that finish him Jackson finish him hearing any choices nailed it oh God damn it Jackson I was on point that must have had to have happened God where why can't we be like that all the time yeah that was really well done no shut the door Jesus Christ shut the door shut the door shut the door don't let her in wow I actually did make her survive are you surprised yeah you don't know anything about our past yeah you were just a dick to me what happened to him oh it's probably best we don't you probably don't want to know the Iraqis and he's close let's get to see you Rachel I thought we'd lost you that's not Rachel who are you where's Rachel thank you so bad if you're playing Rachel keep in mind there's a lot of bombs here and this is probably okay and we saw her die from fire before so can you please tell me where those bombs are yeah the bombs are off to the sides of some of the pillars I tactically planted them Yep this [ __ ] generator is leaking oil by the way that's that's probably nothing uh uh I'm retreating like without us or like I think I said let's oh wait the bombs that's probably bad right oh yeah that's bad oh my God I actually that was perfect that worked uh you're welcome excellent tactics Jackson yeah see if I stood on the gun and shot it I'd be there when that exploded probably oh nice yeah yeah that's a good point God I'm so good at this game you Galaxy brain oh there you just saw the bombs so you should be fine can you tell me uh you have to keep to the center because we place them on the walls so I think you have to keep to the center yeah you should be fine right I I think that's right I think that's where we place them I don't remember now oh god oh you're fine no you made it you made it we're good wait no you guys made it Oh no you're running through that now yeah yeah yeah all right now don't tell them no they might have heard it oh good they didn't hear us man these demons [ __ ] up figure out how to get sunlight in this room [Music] oh God Clarice or is it the guy from the start that we were oh yeah I was wondering when they'd come back because that didn't really do anything oh no demons you were right God so leave is a [ __ ] boss three right yeah could they die easily yeah uh crucifix I think I don't know why I went with the crucifix I'll be honest I just wanted to see what happens they're weak to bullets though if you're curious nailed it God I'm so good Charlie are you saying this [ __ ] yeah you're [ __ ] nuts look at you go what a big boy yeah are you just gonna leave her I mean I didn't have a choice oh oh maybe the choice was shooting either the one that was flying towards me or shooting the one that was had her pinned to the ground oh yeah that was probably the choice I still think I made the right choice then I know how to kill these people I completely agree yeah if something looks like [ __ ] and smells like [ __ ] you don't have to taste it to know that it's [ __ ] anytime I'm curious on whether or not something should I eat it actually no I hate Seafood I'm on this side why do you hate Seafood he's a prime dick seafood's great why are you saying that like I'm the only person in the world who could possibly hate it because I think you are actually the only person in the world you and Tiana and three other people I know uh do we want to fight or do you want to open it what do you think oh well actually oh door open now don't [ __ ] this up I'm here to help nailed it I'm stabbing it it's [ __ ] nice can you hold the ship from oh God I might accidentally kill you in this process no no please don't just make sure pull out in time oh God oh my God I'm so good Charlie I was I think I was actually gonna impale him through you so that's why I stopped yeah no I think you had the right call uh I tried like seafood again like three months ago like uh seared salmon at a sushi place that's it was all right that's boring you need to have like Quality Seafood it was Quality Seafood I mean that I mean okay not to say that it's not quality but it's boring what the [ __ ] you need to have like a cool Seafood meal oh like a blowfish no like one of the nicest fish yeah but it's also just boring it's like eating just plain grilled chicken like it's fine it's fine but it's not like an exciting meal what are you having Jesus get some good soup get some good sushi or something it was fine Sushi all right did you have sushi or did you just have like a slab of salmon yeah it was Sushi yeah and it was it was fine like it was I I didn't hate it but I still could it's like super salty and fishy and that's what I don't like well salmon is like one of the fishiest fish like it's having it do you have like a recommendation for a non-fishy fish shrimp I mean if you just have shrimp it's so good what you don't like shrimp like shrimp and prawns no I don't know about prawns I I've never had prawns but shrimp is super good shrimp just like [ __ ] prawns I mean I guess so far their entire plan since falling in this hole is let's just keep going deeper I I absolutely hate that [ __ ] it happens in movies too it makes no sense there has been zero attempt to try and go oh thanks again buddy I thought I lost you oh let's make out a bit maybe transvest saliva probably got 99 um I think just run I'm not gonna close the door he doesn't seem super strong he seems fast maybe I should have closed it I figured closing it he'd catch up to us and kill us the thought process was wrong every door's been so [ __ ] heavy in here she's gonna die anyway right yeah she's definitely infected oh I hit the what oh you found that again I tried to hit it the second it came up it still worked out though we're good see now we can be infected together yep yeah I guess I'm watching you open the book I you can you can just get the info and you can tell me I I'm not reading it I'm just looking at the pictures oh that's fine too what the [ __ ] is this like an alien Homeworld yeah do you think the aliens crashed her or something yeah maybe we should take the initiative and make something happen yeah can we take it to the Demon's home world can we just talk about my feelings a little bit more Celine we find those [ __ ] things tried to [ __ ] with our heads what they try to kill what the [ __ ] are we gonna do against them or what does he mean they trade the [ __ ] with our heads like what they were just attacking like like normally he's like sleeps at your dick I really believe really whispering to them what so does that make me a marine too let's not get ahead of ourselves huh this is a cute storyline between these two whatever happens out there it's better than [ __ ] Rachel [ __ ] everyone what are we gonna do to hurt them you think do we have any kind of white phosphorus left maybe were you the one carrying white phosphorus actually I think Jason was yeah there you go even the demons think that's a little farther like oh my God why am I super peace now they report it to the you win laughs that is that great what the [ __ ] is that I don't know why is he so he looks so chill like his legs are spread looks like a [ __ ] machine yeah he's just man spreading why would you touch it I don't know what's the point can I not well I guess I have to we're really gonna Stick it to the aliens I saved your life then I was scratching my nose too good reflexes was I right I said they'd be stuck in time stasis half of him is at least yeah it's like some kind of special honey got that armor these guys goddamn biblical he's gonna blink yeah [ __ ] did you see that what must have preserved this flesh his brain he actually is in stasis this is all because you [ __ ] betrayed me that he's like that he'd probably be like full head right now why do we kill him then to put him out of his misery what do you mean he was fine we don't know if he was in misery yeah maybe he was like no please God don't he did that before he's having a great [ __ ] time ahead he's like oh my God visitors I'm so excited around this place like no information about this aliens maybe uh maybe they were like super nice aliens first and then they crashed landed here and like our oxygen corrupted them or something yeah it's probably what it was they came on a peace Mission and they just got like blinded by the our stink and turned feral it's actually probably true because they hate sunlight right oh true yeah so they went to a place right next to the Sun I think they're here I don't know I've been I'm probably not even aliens look what they're clearly aliens we're like a giant metal [ __ ] no they're probably just like vampires that are like technologically advanced like Dracula in his castle had all kinds of crazy Tech these this is that's a fusion reactor right there that's a clearly alien no that's definitely a giant vampire tongue yeah that's Dracula's castle laughs what I'm just so laughing dead oh yeah four thousand years just in that one you didn't even get a chance to like say hi I hope this is me this is me oh huge save oh you actually did it it looked like you [ __ ] it up no no I literally had just went down to fish and then I saw it pop up that was clutch oh [ __ ] it's them Jesus Christ they're clearly aliens just find the working spaceship and leave so the people that were here before decided to leave the half dead dude alive it probably just went by and spit on them every day before we moved out [Music] so what they were just The Intergalactic traveling Orchestra and they just crashed it hahaha and now sunlight really offended them what is going on why is music into it that's their language they communicate with music I will touch it I touched it touch I'm touching yeah I'm rotating my hand around you like that yeah I'm doing the same I'm kind of wiggling a bit oh I'm going up top oh oh we did it I think you just do full circles really tease it what are we doing I don't know maybe we have to do it at the same time I feel like we are oh wait wait start at the bottom maybe okay yeah let's just okay let's synchronize here up the top we'll start at the top okay well no it forced me to start we'll start at the bottom here okay all right after three we go left all right yeah one two three now come up come up come on yeah right now oh yeah that was good three two one oh clearly it worked but why I have no idea [Music] the first thing we do is killer inside her oh no wait it's the living thing yeah it's like a little baby coming out of her mouth I think oh [ __ ] we're seeing the past this really cool spaceship design yeah it's not it's just like a little piece of a rock don't do it no don't do it don't do it we can we can easily fix this don't do it okay okay what an awful way to go too holy [ __ ] yeah right up a veg why a white phosphorus douching what does it even do they came from the Stars this isn't real it's an arc yeah where have you been we knew that I really I feel like no I'm not she's gonna kill us no no no no I feel like Clarice Clarice also wasn't gonna kill us I think we can fix this it's gonna have to do with music yeah kill me you [ __ ] God damn it why I've done everything in my pal to get us a good ending this is the bed and this is the bad ending that was just a bad ending we don't like her all right okay well I can't say I didn't try to shoot her wait I shouldn't be trying this nice all right we're safe I was I was about to kill you then I forgot I was her and I was mashing X and that was the bad thing that was absolutely wrong I'm telling you we could have said I am telling you we could have saved her what would have saving her done for us nothing even if we could save her what like what would that have done would she be alive it's part of the good and better ending this is definitely a bad ending yeah I [ __ ] told you like um how what's what's her secret like what's she gonna do that's Gonna Save Us what we were gonna save her we could have like played a specific song on the radio like I don't know if I can look at this Photograph or something then it heals her so someone that's already watched the good ending how would Rachel have survived well wait let's let's just get out ending yeah I don't I don't want any spoilers oh God don't give me a heartbeat thing oh no please I'll try I'll be slower I'll be slower all right this is this is my gordian knot that I have to cut come on buddy you got it you can hear the mouse clicks perfect we're through oh my God there's another one wait a minute phase two got it oh we're through baby thanks Reese of rocker of Worlds uh dude what do what do you want me to do you want me to Advance what do you think do you want me to Advance a retreat all right I'm not a [ __ ] I'm going in oh that's a lot of what's going for you that's fine they don't know I'm here stealthy I controlled my heartbeat they can't they can't hear me he's a dead man replacing charges now oh Nick you did that to him I thought you heard it was all clear this doesn't even hurt the only thing that hurts oh my God heartbeats again what the [ __ ] although succeeding probably means that we'll be out of detonate all right phase one done but if you actually survive this this is gonna be insane no it'd be pretty clutch got it this is a three-phase boss battle Maybe oh my God Jesus Christ we're still going come on tell Rachel what she's missing out on got it you animal big Redemption we want to sacrifice him well it should be I don't know do you think he survives if we don't yeah oh no I'm gonna get the choice whoa he vanished cool well that didn't do anything yeah let's just go home now that we've made them mad let's leave he's still alive how holy [ __ ] what maybe what's the heartbeat I bet you did it yeah it made him immune to the blast oh [ __ ] Jason hurry he's mad that I blew up his home you're getting so many QuickTime events tomorrow I know I'm doing so many qtes it's crazy it knew that I was [ __ ] him up earlier so it's giving me a chance again not Steven still have nuts of course Saleem is the hero so lame is just so [ __ ] cool tell him yourself I'm coming to get you yeah I don't want to talk oh did you see the uh Storyteller behind Nick there huh oh on my screen briefly the uh Storyteller with the derby hat flashed behind him and then vanished it was just like a split second thing what's that behind you oh baby nice imagine do you think they have like a cutscene program for that if you just like throw it at my head oh yeah absolutely I had the option of like throwing it at you accidentally oh thank you oh it was close oh my God wait sing her a song the music might heal her no you're Nick I'm absolutely not Nick I just had the guy that kicked her that was Nick all right what was even the point of that like she didn't do anything you just got [ __ ] kicked in the face they did it was a loose end I guess yeah that'd be like what happened to Glorious otherwise yeah we could have done this the entire time like we never had to go deeper the second we fell in here we could have just climbed that is such a dumb premise that what we just did downstairs has no impact on like us actually getting out like what yeah why didn't we do this from the beginning it's just like little hope man like they just really don't know how to write an ending because in little hope all this [ __ ] from the past has no bearing on the actual story of the future yeah hey like it didn't do anything it was all worthless so basically all we did was fall down this hole then go deeper for no reason only to go all the way back out and do what we should have done immediately which is just climb out exactly like I don't understand why would no one did that from the start oh yeah I forgot about the solar eclipse not again was this just part one I mean yeah they could absolutely just leave like I don't know why they're so surprised it's not like you killed every single one of them now it's you yep wait a minute it's a Humvee with its lights on yay we did it woohoo it makes no sense to just keep going deeper when all they had to do was climb out right from the get-go it wouldn't even matter if there was a reason to go deeper I would be fine with going deeper if it meant that it led to us getting out yeah but that was never gonna happen we just went there for a Revenge you kept going deeper because the vampires kept blocking your way out no from the very get-go when they fell in all they had to do was climb out were they meant to be there on a mission like did they think that's where well initially Rachel said Eric was wrong like he's like I should have calculated the numbers three times over Saddam Hussein Saddam Hussein is not in here so I guess maybe they thought by Falling in they were getting closer to Saddam I don't know I do think the monsters in this one were pretty [ __ ] generic though yeah scary I agree well it's not like the monsters in Man of Madan are little hope were interesting man of Dan it was actual just zombies again yeah I feel like they did the John like the skies better in that one though I don't remember any scares in that one so they cooperated with an Iraqi soldier why is that so shocking Jesus Christ if you can believe it how do they even know that for him I'm dying to meet this guy ah and here we have Colonel Eric King our in-house genius he definitely got more than he bargained for this comes down to Kayla's and mistook the temple for saddam's weapon Depot piece of [ __ ] system I wouldn't say that you're insulting the system over his dead body too yeah isn't it funny this guy was super dumb can you believe how [ __ ] his system was what do you make of it all doesn't matter what I think only thing that matters is controlling the flow of information as far as the world knows let a damn thing happened here well true I know I also know what happened here anyway what would you rate that one uh probably a little higher than little hope so what did we say for little hope I think we gave it a 60. we didn't moist meter a little hope yeah but I think we gave it like a six out of ten maybe formally yeah I think that's also what we said so I give this like a 65 I'd give it I'd be a bit more generous I'd say 70. I had fun well I also had I wouldn't have had fun if it wasn't you and I playing it alrighty that was fun yep we'll do it again next year yeah as is our tradition thanks everyone Chad for watching bye Jackson bye-bye

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 2,851,494

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Id: 7VsZ1xKedZk

Length: 58min 17sec (3497 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 24 2021