The Wrestling Man | Dr. Dharius Daniels

what's up everybody Darius Daniels here you're getting ready to watch one of our messages from a series of teachings I did that change Church right there in new jersey called man ology i hope it adds value to your life you know speaking of change church we're expanding our borders not sure when you're watching this but very soon we're going to be launching a campus in orlando florida if you know anyone that wants to add value to this ministry and have this ministry add value that they want to have them email this address right here on the screens we'd love to meet them and get to know them and partner with them and see what God's going to do not just in New Jersey but in Orlando we love you enjoy the message Genesis 32 verse 22 says that night Jacob got up and took his two wives his two female servants and his eleven sons and cross the forward of the Jabbok and after he had sitting them across the stream he sent over all his possessions so Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until daybreak and when the man saw that he could not overpower him he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man then the man said let me go for it is daybreak but Jacob replied I will not let you go until you bless me the man acts what is your name Jacob he answered then the man said your name will no longer be Jacob but Israel because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome last week in part one of this man ology series we talked about the mute man on today I want to tag a title to this text and I want to talk about the wrestling man family I feel safe in assuming that a large percentage of the persons in this place specifically yet not exclusively men grew up as I did avid ardent and enthusiastic rest fans let me qualify what I mean when I say wrestling because I am speaking regarding a specific period in the history of wrestling where wrestling was not so popper ish where it was not a stream and a variation of some sort of reality show where wrestling was represented by amazing icons like I'm about to lose all my Millennials junkyard dog Superfly Jimmy Snuka whoa Ric Flair Huck Hogan the Undertaker the road warriors Ted DiBiase and during that time and period in history their word no DVRs there was no own demand programming so you had to strategically sit yourself in front of the television on Saturdays to catch the show because if you missed it you missed it and I find it interesting and intriguing family as to why there seem to be such an affinity not exclusively but specifically of young boys and men to wrestling I mean you didn't see that kind of enthusiasm from us about cycling or bowling or golfing but there seemed to be this interesting affinity toward wrestling it it intrigued us it inspired us for some of us it deceived us we thought we were who we liked so skinny people like me oh we were muscular weak men thought they were strong short me thought they were tall that we jumped off of beds and on coffee tables and experimented wrestling moves with our younger siblings it's interesting that we had this sort of affinity toward wrestling and I'd like to suggest that maybe it is because unconsciously we saw some of ourselves in them because I'm not sure if you're aware of it or not but every man grows up to be a wrestler we don't wrestle in rings but we wrestle with our wounds and our weaknesses we don't wrestle necessarily externally so that all can see but we do wrestle internally with the inner me we don't wrestle for championship belts but we do wrestle to work out our calling all men wrestle you wrestle when you oh you wrestle when you're young you wrestle if you're unemployed you wrestle if you are employed you wrestle if you're black you wrestle if you're white you wrestle if you are brown you wrestle if you graduated summa laude magna laude you wrestle if you graduate it thank you lordy you wrestle if you work on Wall Street and you wrestle if you live on the street all men wrestle and when you change men you're just changing wrestlers all men wrestle and I think it's important to understand this about a man because if not you will be confused with the plethora of personalities you have to deal with when manage managing a man and I want to say something that's extremely important yet often um but under emphasize and that is men are Moody too now sisters you should uh I should have got a better a man than that I said I said men are Moody - the moodiness of man is under emphasized and underrated it can seem as if you have a sweet charming endearing gentleman one moment and then a recluse pompous insensitive individual the next and you're wondering how can you be my booboo my baby and then all of a sudden I want to lay hands on you so that you do not recover how can a gentleman and a jerk could be in the same person could it be because there's a Jacob and the Israel in him and they're wrestling with one another and the one who's winning that day is the one you give hints is important for a woman who is raising a man who is the sister to a man who is an aunt to a man who is a friend to a man who is a fiancee to a man who is a girlfriend to a man who is a wife to a man it is important for you to know you're raising married--to connected to and friends with somebody who's wrestling you have to come to a pivotal point in the relationship there's no right or wrong way to handle this obviously the Scriptures do not instruct you to subject yourself to something and someone that is not in the best interest of you physically emotionally and spiritually hopefully you understand that there's nuance in this message and I am not advocating that you put yourself in harm's way and become a victim of the imperfections of another man that you become a prisoner to his to his dysfunction hopefully you understand nuance there and I'm not asserting that but I am saying you do have to get to a point where you decide if you're gonna run out of the arena I'm done if you're going to critique from the crowd you need to get yourself together or if you're gonna run to the ring roll underneath the ropes and say I'm I help you win did you hear what I just said I said you have to make a decision if you're gonna abandon the arena critique from the crowd a run and roll underneath the ropes of the ring and get in and fight with him and say the Israel inside of the jacob is worth fighting for the best of you is worth fighting for I've got some people who are sitting in this place watching online who've already received this revelation this is why you're fighting for your son because you see the Israel inside of the Jacob and this is why you're fighting for your father because you see the Israel inside of the Jacob because many of you have a revelation that you have been anointed for them because no one else would put up with them tolerate them to be as patient with them as you are you see the Israel inside of the Jacob but if you're going to assist him I talked with this last week you must understand him you cannot assist where you don't understand and this means you must value his voice and I believe there's an individual in our foundational passage today who is going to be a microphone to us because he is a wrestling man he is a man named Jacob and he was a wrestler he wrestled with his wounds he wrestled with his weaknesses he was manipulative in one season of his life he was deceptive he was so deceptive and manipulative he watched this I'm using this metaphorically but this is what he did he deceived his own brother into watch this into giving him the part of the wheel and the family inherit that was reserved specifically and exclusively for the older brother I'm gonna talk a little bit about that next week cuz his brother's name was Esau and he gave over his portion of the wheel to jacob simply for some food because when a man gets hungry a man acts unwisely he says you wish something long time for something temporary but jacob deceived him he was manipulative he manipulated his own father manipulated relationships and other people became victims of his imperfections but he wrestled he did not allow his the worst version of himself to overcome the better version of himself and he eventually won that wrestling match and as a result of his transformation his name was changed from Jacob which means trickster and manipulator to Israel which means Prince with God are you following me family so because he warned I think he has a voice we should value he he has something to say he can help us understand a wrestling man because I think we all want the men in our lives to have Jacobs outcome where the best version of ourselves win over the worst version of ourselves and I think the first thing the text teaches that Jacob would say to you and me is this Jacob would say I didn't pick this fight he got quiet every service that I said that it got they got quiet see if we don't understand that then you won't be able to assist with empathy because it's easy to judge the stumbling when you don't know the story [Applause] it is one thing to judge the fruit of a man's struggle when you don't understand the root of a man's struggle see we can say Jacob was manipulative and he was he was deceptive and he was he was conniving and he was but before we talked about what he was can we at least explore why he was if we're going to judge him and we shouldn't but if we're going to judge him should we at least try to understand what you're going to judge because the worst kind of judgments and there's no good kind of judgement I understand the importance of righteous judgments I'm not referring to that but I am saying the worst kind of judgment is uninformed and judgment something right if you're going to disagree at least understand what you're disagreeing with and all about getting get understand I understand so he was manipulative wouldn't he wasn't he was deceptive but neat but let's just look a little bit at his life he had a grandfather named Abram and his name was changed to Abraham and he was a very religious man he's seen as a central figure of the three main religions in the world yet instill his father his grandfather name Abraham was married to this woman named Sarah and they were traveling and they got to this city called gerar and Abraham thought that his wife was so beautiful that the men of that city would kill him just to have an opportunity to be with his wife so he made an agreement with his wife he said look here when we get in the city you can say you're my sister and that's exactly what happened you know what happened one of the governmental officials in that city became attracted to his wife and brought his wife into his chambers to be one of his concubines and Abraham let it happen man y'all not saying anything right there yeah some of us like well I'm just gonna have to die that's his grandfather who was a religious man who did that then Isaac who was Jacob's father was traveling with his wife and it's coincidentally gets to the same place and thinks the same thing and says the same thing to his wife so his grandfather had some semblance of deception his father had a semblance of deception you follow me watch this and in addition to that he had a mother who was a lovely woman Rebekah but a broken woman and her brokenness expressed itself in the way she parented him Chelsey parented him with blatant preferential treatment and that blatant preferential treatment is an indication that she was getting something out of that relationship with that child that she was not getting any where else and so because she loved him like that you remember I told you he deceived his father let me tell you how he received his father because there was something culturally that they called the father's blessing and that blessing was almost seen as some is always a bit stupor superstitious but it was seen almost as a blessing of God that if the father blessed the and he always blessed the eldest son that the authority that the favor that was on the father came to the eldest son his mother wanted him to get it even though he wasn't owed this so she said you know your father blind and he was he was older so he was losing his sight so she said we're gonna dress you up like your brother because he's not going to be able to tell the difference I'm not gonna bother this but i'ma help you deceive dad I'm gonna help you deceive dad so you dress up like Esau and then when you go before him this is where you go before your dad he's gonna give you what is reserved for Esau mama doesn't even know she's teaching him that in order to be blessed you got to be somebody other than you and so he deceives his father he he gets that blessing so listen we're not excusing him he's responsible for his actions we're not excusing him but we are at least attempting to understand him so his grandfather was deceptive his father was deceptive his mother enabled him in his deception and assisted him in manipulating his father how did you expect him to be when you look at what is around him how did you expect him to be and so before we judge what he is in adulthood can we understand what he had to endure in childhood was his father there was his father absent was his father absent in present did he have to grow up too soon did he see too much did he have to fight for his brothers did he have to fight for his sister's what did he grow up in a crack house then what what do we know about his story before we judge his stumbling before he's we say you don't trust anybody who did he trust at a young age that broke his trust that did things to him that shouldn't have happened who touched him where they shouldn't have touched him when they touched him why is he cynical why didn't he trust people do you know his story before you judge his stumbling so we're not excusing wrong behavior but we are acknowledging that sometimes before you help them get right you need to help them get healed did you hear me could it be that the wound that agitates you the most is the wound you've been anointed to heal could it be that that's the reason God gave you that child erase that that's the reason that's your father that that's the reason that's your husband because God knows that he put in you what never got put in the child and when he linked you together you would be the bridge that he walked over to go from brokenness to wholeness from a weakness to strength from Jacob to Israel I want a sister in the room that knows that the men in your life have potential and they are destined for greatness to speak to yourself and say I'm anointed for this I'm anointed for him that's my baby that's my son and as long as there's breath in his body i'ma fight for him to be the man I know he can be I must speak blessings over him I'm gonna speak affirmation in him I'm gonna speak encouragement to him because there's a Israel inside of my baby and I will not stop fighting until it come out I feel like having Church Jacob Jacob would say number one I didn't pick this fight that's what he would say then I read some in verse number 24 that helps me see the second thing Jacob would say and that's this the Bible says in verse 24 and Jacob was left alone and Jacob was left alone the second thing I think Jacob will say to us he would say as a wrestling man I process in private and Jacob was left alone sometimes I'm see if I can get an amen here Jacob needs to be left [Applause] [Music] sometimes Jacob he just wants to say with all the humility he can he wants to be sensitive but sometimes way down in the recess of Jacob soul Jacob is saying would you please leave me [Applause] fellas I don't hear you that week at your boy a something like just be like rev I can't I can't say I can't say anything around but some of you you said you sent by your lady you like you try to just try to do some telepathy you like stay right there looks ready like stay right there don't move don't a [Applause] process in private I want you to catch this I want you to kiss this is this helpful everybody so Michael Geryon suggests in his book what he could be thinking the name of the book is what he could be thinking Michael Geryon suggests that man take up to seven hours longer to process emotive data in other words he has to check out before he checks in that generally not not not not not exclusively but generally speaking women may talk to process men have to process then talk that makes sense and when you don't understand that you can unintentionally encourage him to process the way you process oh no we're about to talk about this today oh yeah it's 1257 we're about to talk about this at 12:58 you got 60 seconds go now we're about to talk about this right now listen he can be walking and you follow it oh no oh no you talked about LeBron and the cast yeah you could shut up about LeBron in the cast and now it's time to talk about our relationship our children you don't have anything to say [Applause] and he's like I I need a minute because I process in private because you're asking me to do something during the formative years of my life I was programmed not to do see when you fell you got hugged and consoled and bands just bandaged up and you were told it was okay to cry but when I fell I was told big boys don't cry I was told get up I was told shake it off so I was trained not to express pain now all of a sudden you asking me to do something that I never done so you asking me how I feel I don't know because I was conditioned not to so I'm struggling with this not because I don't care about this I'm struggling with this because this is foreign to me and I need a minute they process in private they process then they think through then they ready to talk this is why you could have talked about some earlier in the week and then here it is Sunday he'll come in before church he'd be like hey yeah did you like what come back here he's like yeah you like what are you talking about yeah you remember we was talking about whether or not we will go to Disney where we take our sabbatical in August so we go to Disney we take a sabbatical in August yeah um yeah yes get out work yeah you know we talked about that two weeks ago you've you moved on to something else but we have to check out in order to check in and sometimes he needs a minute to process what he's feeling because if he hasn't properly processed those emotions he will say something in the moment that becomes a word that functions like a nail because once a nail goes into something you can remove the nail but you cannot remove the indentation the hole is still there am i making sense so sometimes it's important to give him time so that when he does talk you're getting accurate data Jacob needs a minute can i push a little deeper here you see the text says in verse 22 that Jacob took his two wives his two servants and his eleven children so when we talk about wives here let me explain this for some of you say Oh what about two wives now I liked some of the Mennonite not what what verse is that in the Bible right there real she'd been telling I need to read the Bible more I'm gonna read that part right there grab what is that so I want to make sure you understand that just because the Bible describes something doesn't mean it prescribes it it makes sense just because it's describing what happened doesn't mean it's prescribing that for people's lives so when people read scripture with that hermeneutic then they can come to conclusions and practices that just aren't accurate it's describing what happened in culture there it doesn't mean that that was prescribed or endorsed by God the point is though he had a lot of people with him in verse 22 but no one was with him in verse 24 when he wrestled because there are some things no matter how much you love them they gotta wrestle with alone amen because as much as you know them there are things wounds that they're trying to heal from that you don't know about and sometimes it takes time for a man to even acknowledge that he's been affected so it's hard for him to tell a woman something he hadn't even told himself makes sense all right can I give you number three okay he would say number three I hadn't forgotten that I used to be Jacob remember Jacob represents the worst oven of himself Israel represents the best version of himself and so when he had this metamorphosis in his life God changed his name from Jacob to Israel why because every time the name Jacob was called this is what he heard come here deceiver go clean up your room trickster take out the trash manipulator now listen listen listen to the oxymoronic nature of this statement I love you deceiver so it's almost like God is saying in order for you to act like who you are I need to change what you answer to so I'm not gonna call you Jacob which is deceiver I'm gonna call you Israel which means Prince with God because I want you to see yourself the way I see you because you will always behave in a way that is consistent with the way you see yourself so I need you to see you the way I see you so you'll behave in a way that's consistent with the way I see you not the way you see yourself so now you're gonna hear come here Prince with God am i making sense but something interesting happens in the middle of this wrestling when Jacob was in his process of transformation during that process he injured some people didn't he he injured his brother he ruptured that relationship and that relationship had to be reconciled he injured Leah that was a woman he was in relationship with so in the process of people's growth and transformation you know they hurt others and that's what Jacob did but not only did Jacob hurt others he he hurt himself because the Bible says in the midst of this wrestling if something happens with his hip and afterwards he walks with a limp and the limp is to remind him of the process that he had to go through going from the worst version of himself to the best version of himself the thing with Jacob is his limp was external but a lot of men's limps are internal just because he's not limping externally doesn't mean he's not hurting internally and sometimes he hates who he was and what he did more than you do you just can't see it he's limping with regret career regret relationship regret he wish he did said he wish he didn't do it he wish he was more present he wish he was an absent he wish he was more considerate he wish he didn't wrestle with what he wrestled with he didn't pick what he wrestled with it he didn't he doesn't want to wrestle with it any more than you want him wrestling with it but sometimes he's limping and not talking and I wish you could have some of the conversations with men that I have the privilege of having and hearing some of the things that are going on in their heads and hearts like I am I wish like I do I wish you knew how many men hate themselves because they used to be Jacobs and they can't embrace that they're Israel because of the damage Jacob has done they're already trying to forget it themselves and it becomes very much almost a seemingly impossible task if he keeps being reminded right when he's starting to feel better about becoming Israel he gets reminded that he was Jacob he's like I forgot I'm sorry that was a period probably of about three years about you know the nature of my life requires that I travel I don't apologize for that at all I mean if I was in pharmaceutical sales I would travel if I would have had in my way I'd have been an mba athlete just getting finished with my getting my ring over the warrants got my ring LeBron you needed your boy call me you needed if you're in sports travel if I would have been in business ah but some businesses you could travel so uh apologize for that but that was a series where I was just going way too much and so that was a period in him in my youngest son's my youngest son's like what he was super small so my oldest son was small I was much more present as a friendship I was just more present during this this part I was I was I was gone and even though God has redeemed that time and our relationship is healthy now there every now and then if I'm scrolling through my phone I see pictures from during that time period 13 or 15 if I if I see that I start limping internally cuz even though I know God has redeemed time and and done and doing amazing things in our relationship this is what I know during that period he was young enough for me to hold him so when I could I wasn't there now that I want to he's too big for it and so even though God restored it I had to live with the fruit of the choice that I made now my wife doesn't but just think if I'm limping with that and she comes in and says mm you looking at them pictures huh you could have had more if you'd been around now she would never know what that would do to me but I ain't forgot that I was checking some of you sometimes you don't even know you killing a you crippling a limping man I'm fighting to get over this myself I don't like me myself I wish I had answers too but I didn't forgot my time's up that I used to be Jacob number four because number three here's the last one because of number three here's number four because because I'm not I hadn't forgot that I need to be Jacob I need number four and that is I still need a cheerleader wrestlers need cheers from the crowd Reza's wrestlers need cheers from the crowd it gives them energy it gives them enthusiasm when when the momentum of the battle is going against them it helps shift the tides and the trajectory of the match wrestlers need cheerleaders and ladies your voice matters and you know it matters you give it intuitively when your children are young when your children are young it's intuitive it's instinctive right when that little boys 3 or 4 and he pick up something if you walk over that say get you with your big old muscles picking that up your strong self look at Mama's baby and there he is you start talking like they said watch this then he goes and attempts to start picking up something else so you can see it mama look look mama why because what you celebrate gets repeated I think you missed it if you want to see it repeat it celebrate it when he gets grown he doesn't respond the same but he still feels the same internally he says [Music] you don't even see it he's like [Music] there's something that you may be taking for granted and that's the impact of your encouragement how much your voice is valued all compliments are not created equal is not just what is said it's who says it some comments way more than others because of who it comes from one time I saw something on Facebook they had posted something about I think our TV broadcast is something and I saw my mom had put on their good word that's what she said but I'm tell you what I heard oh you preached listen I heard it with her attitude she put good word but I heard it with a attitude I heard it with attitude you you treated while you you preached you preach them fit in there you preach the paint off the walls you you you preached until the devil got nervous you preached until heaven open you preached until the sick got healed you preached until the weak got strong you preached because we hear more than you say you miss what I just said we hear more than you say so have you allowed Israel excuse me have you allowed the Jacob in him to blind you to the Israel idiom and which one do you speak to more do you speak to jacob more correcting and criticizing or do you speak to the israel more are you calling the israelite of him saying you know what I know you didn't have a father so you're trying to figure this out that your dad wouldn't even that you have no clue on how to do this baby I appreciate how you trying maybe our children are so lucky I love your brother but they're so lucky that you're they dad and not your brother that baby I just I just thought about I looked at everybody in your family all the men on your side they don't even value marriage they not even marry they don't even care about marriage and you stumbling but you're trying to do the best you can by me and these kids thank you for that internally you have no idea he's cuz your voice matters here it is one of my favorite parts of wrestling matches was this it was when someone was in the ring and losing and then someone would come running out of locker room roll underneath the ropes get in the ring and jump in and start fighting now I know I am this is changed Church this is the Ewing location and it's the 12 o'clock crowd so I know where I am some of you in here even if the your son your spouse or whoever if they were engaged in a physical altercation and you saw it you like hold up a second [Applause] [Music] get your hands off my man [Applause] hi Samuel [Applause] [Music] right even if he shouldn't have been in it even if it could have been avoided even if it was his fault you gonna fight and me and fuss after afters over you like now you stupid while we into this you got us in here fighting and you know I can't just let them jump on you and I'm not saying anything I'm gonna fight you when I get to the house [Applause] [Music] why will you fight like that for him physically but not emotionally for Israel our families will be better churches will be better our communities will be better if we help wrestling men [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] thanks so much for watching I hope you were blessed and encouraged I'm going to encourage you to press that subscribe button so that you always are notified when we release a new content and if you want to give and be a blessing to the ministry you can press the gear button also take care see you next time

Channel: Dharius Daniels TV

Views: 44,009

Rating: 4.9296188 out of 5

Keywords: dharius Daniels, change church, td jakes, Steven furtick, ed young, John gray, Hillsong, pastor matthew stevenson, bethel music, elevation church, carl lentz, vous church, rich wilkerson jr, pastor robert madu, zoe church, chad veach, levi lusko, bill hybels, keion henderson, dave ramsey, pastor chris hodges, pastor criag groeschel, pastor benny perez, pastor michan carter, pastor ron carpenter, pastor mike todd

Id: dLKamveuWR8

Length: 43min 8sec (2588 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 18 2018