The Worst Games Of The Decade

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Couldn’t deal with the narrator for that long.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/ajb515 📅︎︎ May 03 2020 🗫︎ replies
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[DX intro] [DX] Welcome back. It’s been a while since the last time I opened my Steam library to highlight some of the worst games imaginable. Today... it opens again. The last ten years gave us some truly exceptional experiences, but you don’t need me to tell you that; you’ve been playing them since 2010. What you want from me... are the worst. The games you’ve never heard of, the games you can’t buy anymore, and the games that you wouldn’t even if you could. But we’ll be doing things a bit differently this time. Good games get awards, and bad games should too. It’s time to celebrate every game-breaking bug, all the bad voice acting, and each terrible mechanic. These are... the Worst Games of the Decade. [DX] Our first category is for games that even failed... at failing. Games not obscenely bad enough to end up in a landfill, but still smelling reminiscent enough of a dumpster that you know something is off immediately. [2013] Platforms: PC (Windows), Xbox 360 Developer: Realmforge Studios Publisher: Kalypso Media [DX] Dark is best described as a stealth game that hates stealth games. It's a game full of so many contradictory gameplay elements that you wonder what the goal actually was. Was it to create a compelling vampire experience? Was it to make a good stealth game? Those concepts almost seem at odds with one another, and Dark realizes this with its miserable failure to do either. In Dark, you play as a vampire named Eric, who is in search of his sire. Dark has, perhaps, the most self-incriminating first level I've ever played, where everything wrong with it is showcased so prominently that you'll immediately uninstall and refund. In this level, you travel through a museum, and you quickly realize that basic stealth concepts, such as the ability to distract enemies, are locked behind a skill system. The game also, despite having many long shadows to hide in, has no visibility mechanic. If you can believe it, this isn't the only stealth game you'll see featured today that forgot to include stealth elements, but this is definitely unique and quickly becomes so when you realize that, once spotted, you have no manner of fighting back against enemies... so you die instantly. There's several remedies to an issue like this, but Dark has none of them. The game has limited saves per area, limiting what you're able to experiment with. The enemies have a ridiculous field of view, their movement patterns are inconsistent, you move slowly, you move bodies slowly, but the two most outstanding issues are definitely the hive mind mentality of the AI and the skill system. When spotted by one enemy, every enemy seems to know exactly where you are, or your general vicinity. What absolutely kills Dark dead is its beyond atrocious skill system where necessary stealth skills are sold piecemeal, which makes the game literally unplayable if you decide to invest skill points into the wrong categories. Spending points in abilities that actually diversify the gameplay is a mistake because there's only three categories that matter. It's impossible to actually take down anyone without making noise or being spotted unless you have points into those areas, which you need to do so as soon as possible. To be fair, these other abilities don't really work, because they come with the same issue of needing further upgrades to not make any sound, and... they're broken. The teleportation is broken and never goes where you need it to, the distraction doesn't actually attract a group of people and you can only do it in front of the enemy anyways. This is, by far, the only vampire game I have ever played where I felt weaker than the humans. And I'm not the only person who felt like this. I joked about the first level being so bad that you'll want to immediately uninstall, but the vast majority of players did exactly that. I played a good chunk of this game, and you get achievements for making it to certain levels. Steam will then tell you the percentage of players that have gotten that same achievement. Get ready for this. Only 28.6% of players made it to the end of the first level. Only 20.1% (later 20.2%) made it to the second, and only 14.8% made it to the third. Equally hilarious: only 17.1% fed on 5 enemies, and only 19.3% have used vampiric powers 50 times. Once I had had quite enough of this game, I decided to pursue outside investment in my skills. Upon becoming truly immortal, I broke the game by loading into the floor, and as it turns out, all the AI does know exactly where you are when an alarm is triggered. Dark is a game that no one wanted to play, probably because it's non-functioning until you upgrade your abilities, and even then, you're still susceptible to failure that is almost entirely out of your control. [2011] Platforms: PC (Windows) Developer: Black Lion Studios Publisher: Viva Media [DX] Shadow Harvest: Phantom Ops is one of the first examples you'll see today of what happens when complete amateurs try to create big budget AAA experiences without any sort of understanding as to how those games are constructed. Simply put, Shadow Harvest is every brown and yellow third-person shooter that came out in 7th gen, made with the elegance of a dog trying to use a pair of scissors. In a more technologically advanced world, where "blah blah politics" and "blah blah dictators", you play as either Alvarez or Myra. I stress either here, and that's important for later. Alvarez is for your typical run-and-gun gameplay, Myra is for stealth... and also getting undressed because the only reason the second character is female is to exploit them in... strange quick-time event sequences... like this. The problem with the both of them is that their sequences typically require more polished mechanics than the game is able to provide the player with. Alvarez's gunplay is terrible because the muzzle flash makes it impossible to see where your gun with already uncontrollable recoil is firing, and if that wasn't bad enough - and there weren't already enough post-processing filters being used in this game - the entire screen blurs as you reload, again, making it impossible to see enemies. This makes all the combat a complete joke, especially when you face off against snipers that can instantly kill you and you can't even shoot back because the muzzle flash takes up half the screen. Myra, on the other hand, has an even harder time because the enemies are all hive mind, and if you alert one of them, they all know where you are and you have limited options to fight back. Luckily, the enemies are also very stupid, so cheesing your way through areas isn't impossible - just tedious and unrewarding. Admittedly, her stealth has the ability to actually be fun, but that's quickly ruined when the enemies can inexplicably see you through a one-inch crack at the bottom of a window several yards away as you hack a computer. Neither of the characters are great, but you'd think they would complement each other even with shoddy mechanics, but they don't, because they don't have the capacity to. The trailer for this game and its description on Steam both lie and say that you can change characters at any time to approach situations the way you'd like, and while that's technically true... it has no practical application. While you can physically switch between them, there's certain situations requiring that you not get spotted at all, which means that you must use Myra to sneak into locations with her cloak. And it's in these sequences that Shadow Harvest quickly wear at your patience, because the game doesn't really amount to anything but frustration since nothing else is of any interest or worth playing through. Well... the voice acting might be with how hilariously terrible it is. [2016] Platforms: PC (Windows) Developer: Interceptor Entertainment Publisher: 3D Realms [DX] Bombshell is the luckiest game you'll see today, seeing as how it got an incredible prequel in the form of Ion Fury, but Shelly's first released adventure was very hit or miss. Bombshell is a great looking and sounding game, which already demonstrates a level of quality far above many of the games here; and it's important to point that out because of how the quality of the game's fidelity juxtaposes the quality of its gameplay. Bombshell seems to try as hard as it possibly can to make its gameplay a chore, despite it being an all right game at its core - by needlessly dragging on its levels with what can only be referred to as "vapid annoyances". Bolstered by a wide range of weapons, upgrade abilities and enemy types, Bombshell just isn't the type of game you'd expect to frustrate you or bore you, but it manages to do it based solely off how its maps work. Bombshell's levels are very, very large environments that Shelly is dropped into and you need to collect keys in order to open doors to progress further inside of them. These levels have side quests, challenges, and all sorts of things to find, but the reward is hardly ever worth the effort to get them because you'd typically get more credits for ability upgrades by just doing the linear progression path and killing enemies. These aspects of the game are also copy-and-pasted, so nothing ever really feels unique when you do it and the amount of walking you have to do from point A to point B will get tiring quickly. The combat is great, until the game decides to throw a horde of acid enemies your way in the first level, which means you have to stay as far away from them as possible or risk getting damaged when they spit on you or explode, which happens about... 99% of the time. Bombshell's levels have a serious issue with visual clarity, so these tiny enemies that explode and damage you with acid can just blend into the environment and burst whenever without you noticing them. This is why the game never reaches the level of "great", because while its individual pieces are fun and you can have a blast with them when the game isn't being tedious... it is tedious with how long its levels are, the amount of pointless backtracking you need to do, and its lack of enemy variation in the context of the scale of its levels. With all this said, Bombshell's quality does shine through at times when you can chain abilities with the primary and secondary weapon firing modes to obliterate enemies in a couple of seconds. [Shelly] That's for Earth. [2011] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS3, Xbox 360 Developer: Techland Publisher: Ubisoft [DX] Call of Juarez: The Cartel is the spiritual sequel to Rogue Warrior that I've always wanted. It's a game that is so dumb that its problems which got it nominated for this category are almost inconsequential because you keep playing it out of a morbid curiosity to see what... stupid thing will happen next. The game starts out with the absurd premise that the U.S. may go to war with Mexico over the actions of a cartel, and an interagency task force is assembled to stop this cartel before things go too far. What then proceeds is one of the most mind-numbing, yet hilarious journeys ever as all the titular characters show an abhorrent disregard for the law by committing blatantly illegal acts and only making the situation worse with their incompetence. These acts include but are not limited to: getting confidential informants killed, planting evidence, stealing evidence, false accusations of criminal activity, and my personal favorite: outright domestic terrorism. The degree to which this game does not care about its story making any sense is admirable, especially because it is funny at times, like when the characters infiltrate a strip club and have to convince the security that they're a group of swingers and they want nothing more than to get sex counseling advice. A game like this wouldn't be complete without immature sex jokes, and this game has a lot of them. With that out of the way... The Cartel sucks. Its gameplay is something you sit through to get to its cutscenes, and that's only if you find them worth the time like I do. Otherwise, you're in for an incredibly monotonous and uninspired shooter that doesn't even really feel complete, with various ham-fisted yet half-baked mechanics seeing the light of day. You can pick from one of three characters, each with their own side objectives and special gameplay perk, but none of them are game changing, so they all essentially play the same. The gunplay is tolerable, but the enemy placement and interactivity of the world makes it very easy to win every gunfight, as cars take on the physical properties of video game gas tanks and immediately explode when fired upon. The only real challenge in this game comes from properly using its mechanics that clearly needed more polish. The best is when you're driving the car and your own friends will give you the wrong directions, causing you to fail the segment. The Cartel is a game that you can tell was rushed out the door, but it still manages to retain just enough of whatever the original vision was to not be frustrating to play. Couple that with its absurd story, and you have a game that is... ...not really worth playing through... at all... but if you do, you'll at least have some good laughs along the way. The reason Bombshell is the worst at being the worst is because it's a game I genuinely have fun in, even with its problems, because it displays a degree of sophistication that no other game you'll see today does. Bombshell is also really helped by the fact that its protagonist isn't a bumbling idiot with the personality of a machine learning algorithm. It was obvious from Bombshell alone that Shelly wasn't just Duke Nukem with mascara, and I like to think that Ion Fury is the full realization of that, even if it was done by different developers. And... that's it, folks. That's the end of games that don't make me want to vomit... out of my ass. Our next category begins our gradual descension into hell. The last ten years made making games and getting into the industry more accessible than ever. This category is dedicated to the con men and the well-intentioned individuals that bit off far more than they could chew making baby's first video game. [2018] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS4, Xbox One Developer & Publisher: Phantom 8 Studios [Marcus] My father always said... ...that it's our dreams that reveal our deepest nature. If that is true... ...then I'm lost. [DX] The fun thing about Past Cure is determining whether it is a commendable attempt at a game, or the height of arrogance. Either is valid given the evidence the game provides, because it is... absolutely AWFUL, although not without some interesting concepts. Past Cure, otherwise known as "Fever Dream John Wick", is a game about an army veteran named Marcus who somehow gained psychic abilities, trying to figure out a grand conspiracy with him at the center of it. It's not nearly as exciting as it sounds. For one, the game's script was almost certainly not written in English and the translation leaves a lot to be desired, as does the voice acting as a whole. The game looks great until you examine... ...literally anything. There was a valiant attempt to mask the game's budgetary shortcomings but it doesn't do nearly as good a job as something like Visage. Past Cure looks best when presenting its abstract concepts, which do look very good, but they're... hardly in the game. The game instead decides to showcase its shoddily furnished buildings with... no one in them in the majority of the game. Now, a common thread you'll see in the games in this category is a unique misunderstanding of anatomy only seen in games made by people so inexperienced. Past Cure demonstrates this repeatedly with characters that... ...almost... look human? And if I had the time, I could sit here and detail exactly what how they were made, right down to which brushes were used to texture the skin of the characters. That's the level to which the seams of this game can be seen, my point being that this game tries very hard to mask it having been made by complete amateurs, but it doesn't even have the competence to do that, so imagine how awful the gameplay is since it can't be covered up by Unreal Engine 4's post processing effects. This is a third-person shooter with stealth, melee, time manipulation, and puzzles. Somehow, the puzzles end up being the best aspect of the game because the riddles are genuinely well written, but I really shouldn't say "somehow" as if it's a surprise; if you butcher this many core elements of your mechanics, you're bound to end up with garbage. Marcus strafes like he's playing hopscotch, which makes the movement untenable, leading you to stay in one cover for an entire gunfight, which is where you discover how awful the gunplay is. The crosshairs are horrible, and have a circle at the center which must be lined up before you fire for the highest accuracy; and it's entirely possible to die waiting for them to do so. Not that accuracy really matters, the guns have mostly insane recoil and headshots are inconsistent kills anyways. The melee works, but you're rarely ever in a position to use it because the supernatural enemies kill you instantly if you're in range, and you're typically fighting five or more people with guns. If you use your powers too much, the mannequin men appear and kill you, which could be interesting - but because everything else is so bad, just becomes frustrating because the powers are almost necessary to have a fair game experience. The stealth is... just crouching. That's it. If you get spotted... The End. And you're going through all this for a story that doesn't make any sense, because nothing is ever explained. Nothing is explained. But I had to find this out from a video on YouTube, because I couldn't finish Past Cure! In addition to everything I've already mentioned about this COMPLETE JOKE of a game, it also has bugs. Like... this one! Or the one that prevents you from progressing because a specific enemy will not move when he needs to. [2018] Platforms: PC (Windows) Developer & Publisher: Royal Rudius Entertainment [Boston Joe] Here. Take this. [Mitchell] A wrench. Why a wrench? [Boston Joe] Because I only got one crowbar, and I have no intention to give it away. [Mitchell] Well, I got bad memories with crowbars anyways. Mitchell, by the way. [Boston Joe] Joe. But everyone calls me Boston Joe. [Mitchell] All right, Joe. Let's save your friends from spiders with vaginas. [DX] Hunt Down the Freeman is... a game (???) taking place in the Half-Life universe about an HECU named Mitchell Shephard seeking revenge on Gordon Freeman. Not a terrible concept by any means, but it's a game that quickly balloons out of control and mutates into a poor man's Metal Gear Solid V. It really says a lot about Hunt Down The Freeman that even I can draw this comparison, considering I haven't played MGS V: The Phantom Pain. It's an experience that is more a collection of cinematics than it is a full game, but for all the wrong reasons. I'm a big advocate for games that are more story-driven, but the reason I make this remark is because the gameplay portions of this game are so outrageously unplayable that you likely see more cutscenes than you do gameplay. Not that you want to see the cutscenes, mind you, because they're dogshit, but my point is that there's something seriously wrong with your game when you spend a decent chunk of it flying through levels with commands that make you invisible to AI because the game is so poorly designed. The main problem with Freeman is how directionless it is. In sharp contrast to Valve's own titles, Hunt Down The Freeman is designed more like an open world game than it is a linear shooter. Levels are enormous, and where you're actually supposed to go is usually a mystery, as if it's left up to interpretation. Because it's riddled with bugs, you're also constantly second-guessing yourself on how to proceed. The amount of times I asked myself whether I wasn't understanding what the game wanted me to do, or if I just needed to noclip, was countless. Things just happen in this game, levels end with no real reason to, furthering the confusion. With the amount of cutscenes this game has, you'd think there'd be the ability to infer what you're supposed to be doing, but not really - the cutscenes are almost entirely independent of the gameplay. You could just watch the cutscenes and fully understand what's happening in them without the context of them being part of a game. To be fair, this isn't just on the horrendous level design; it's also how enemies spawn. The Combine appear to behave like idiots, but it's really just how they spawn into any given encounter that makes them appear braindead, which is especially egregious given that part of this game takes place during the Seven Hour War, and you can just run past any Synths you see. It's genuinely hard to criticize this game because it's barely a game. They created all these assets, but just putting a player and several enemies into a confined space... does NOT. does NOT. MAKE. does NOT. MAKE. GAMEPLAY. There's nothing comprehensive about this game; what little it attempts falls flat on its face likely due to a misunderstanding of Half-Life's design ideology and overall inexperience. In essence, it's baby's first video game, but with high production value - something that's obvious in its story in addition to its gameplay. Hunt Down The Freeman's story is a 14-year-old's fan fiction realized in video game form. Its story, the characters, their designs, their dialogue, all exuded from the lens of a child, or someone equally as impressionable. Mitchell is a cringelord and the personification of teenage angst. [Sasha] I always saw you as a hero after that day. [Mitchell] Hero? Heh. You're talking to a villain, my dear. The hero inside of me died, many, many years ago when I was young. [Sasha] Isn't every villain a hero in their own story? [Mitchell] Not in this one. [DX] This is only made more absurd by all the ridiculous tone shifts in the narrative, like the introduction of Colonel Cue. There's also the unintentionally hilarious, like when Mitchell's self-fulfilling prophecy of everyone dying around him becomes apparent. [Capt. Roosevelt] That's not a curse. You made a deal with the devil. Here... you have it. [DX] There's also the infamous ending. [Adam] I can explain. - [Mitchell] You lied to me. - [Adam] No, that wasn't the deal. He... he told-- [groans in pain] Mitch, please. - [Mitchell] Betrayed me. You used me. You fucked up my face. [Adam groans] [Mitchell] And now... [Adam] Mitch, please... I... I can explain... [Mitchell] You have my permission to die. [DX] At the end of the day, Hunt Down The Freeman is a great example to look at if you're working on a mod - not just because of what I've already mentioned, but because the performance of this game... is appalling. At one point, I had to just stop everything and look down at the floor to get a stable framerate because I was afraid the game would blue screen my computer with how badly it was lagging. [2013-2014] Platforms: PC (Windows/macOS), Mobile (iOS/Android), PS3 Developer & Publisher: Semaphore [DX] Unearthed: Trail of Ibn Battuta is the quintessential amateur video game, to the point where you almost think it's a parody instead of a full game that you're meant to play and enjoy à la Duty Calls. In Unearthed, you play as discount Nathan Drake as you and your sister who enjoys pleasuring invisible penises try to find a long lost treasure. Unearthed is like a game on fast forward; you arrive at a temple, do the simplest puzzle ever, do some obstacles, do more puzzles, fight someone and shoot people, all in the span of fifteen minutes. I think the cutscenes are actually longer than the gameply segments, which says a lot because of how many systems they try to cram into this game. There's third-person shooting, melee, puzzles, running segments, and... two driving segments. Of course, none of these are done particularly well because they're just too simple to have any complexity to engage the player with, and they're too cheap to wow the player with anything they haven't seen before. To be fair, I was certainly wowed when this game crashed three times for no reason, resetting my graphics settings. I was also wowed when I beat the game and realized that Troy Baker had done voice work for it. But, most importantly, I was truly in awe when, after sitting through the credits and being dumped back into the main menu, I saw that this game... had a zombies mode. Seriously. This game has a mode where you can choose any character, go to any map... and just shoot zombies. Why? Why not. [2018] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS4, Xbox One Developer & Publisher: Storyline Team [DX] Crying Is Not Enough is what happens when you think you can make a better Silent Hill game than any of the ones Konami put out after 4, but then you realize you have no talent, and you also have no brain. Crying Is Not Enough is a Silent Hill/Resident Evil-inspired game without any - and I mean - ANY of the understanding those games have of their respective design. I remember none of the characters' names, nor do I care to, so I'll just say that Husband is trying to find Wife but Wife has Mother who is entangled in... "Strange Events." The reason I'm so apathetic about this one in particular is because of how BLATANTLY horrendous it is. The game is so reflective you'll think you have an RTX card, characters look like freshly dug up corpses, and the voice acting is some of the worst I've ever heard. Gameplay wise, Crying is somehow even worse than you'd think based on everything you've seen so far. It's a game that clearly wants to mimic the linearity and backtracking associated with the linearity of games like Resident Evil, but without any obstacles preventing them from triggering events they shouldn't that ultimately establish that linearity. Case in point: in this game, I activated a boss fight that I wasn't able to beat until much later, just because I wandered into the space since the game is so damn directionless. Imagine if you could just walk into the Umbrella Labs beneath the Spencer Mansion in Resident Evil 1, and trigger the Tyrant fight, and all you have to fight him is your Beretta. That's the level of incompetence seen in Crying. Enemies would be easy to kill if not for the spastic aim of the character; the gun goes flying when he fires a single round, making it very difficult to conserve ammo. The game is so dark that certain paths to important routes can be obscured, making an already confusing map layout nearly impossible to navigate, navigation is where the bulk of your time is spent because of how open the map is and how items are conveniently placed at opposite ends of where they need to be used. The main problem with this is that because the world is so open and grants so much freedom to the player, the contextual room sequencing that is meant to provide the player with an order of events is totally broken, and you have no clue what items you're supposed to use to trigger what events. You better get used to running, because you're going to be doing a whole lot of it, but don't forget to mute the game if you're playing it near anyone because the running sounds like something you'd hear... in an adult SFM animation. [DX] There has never been a game more emblematic of Steam's complete apathy towards quality control than Hunt Down The Freeman. Only on Steam could a game so... GOD GODDAMN GODDAMN ATROCIOUS have seen the light of day; and only Valve would allow someone to so brazenly desecrate their own intellectual property the way this game does, and continue to keep lying about it two years after the game released even when said lie violates their own policy. There are incredible indie games out there; Hunt Down The Freeman is not only not one of them, it is undoubtedly the worst of them. [DX] Developing a licensed game is the equivalent of starting a marathon by shooting yourself in the knee. You have no time, no money, and no passion. It's time to talk about some licensed games that failed to clear the lowest bar imaginable. [2013] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS3, Xbox 360, Wii U Developer: Terminal Reality Publisher: Activision [DX] The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct is... just pathetic. There will be games after this that are equally or more unfinished, but this game really should have been canceled. Featuring an embarrassing lack of polish that is only seen when a publisher tries to rush a game out the door, ou'd think that alone would be the reason this game is so shit, but it isn't. Terminal Reality, not to be outdone by the incompetence of Activision, also puts on a masterclass of how to design a game to be as boring and painful to play as possible so no one actually completes it. In Survival Instinct, you play as Daryl Dixon, with the game serving as a prequel to the first season of The Walking Dead; and the immediate outstanding issue with this is that the game barely has any writing. It barely has cutscenes. Norman Reedus and Michael Rooker, who reprise their roles as Daryl and Merle respectively, are given nothing to do; and you can't even play as Merle, which will never cease to amaze me. So from the very beginning, you're basically whoever doing whatever because the game forgot to have a story, and all its side characters are about as interesting as a bucket of cold piss. What remains is one of the most broken and infuriating experiences ever. The first time I booted this game up, it gave me a clear warning to stay away by only rendering a small part of the screen where you could see through walls. Nevertheless, I persisted. In Survival Instinct, you're trying to make your way to an army base and you stop several times along the way in small towns to gather supplies and recruit other survivors. Every single mechanic in this game is complete GARBAGE, so none of this is fun. For starters, the methods you're given to defend yourself are all made so you're at an inherent and illogical disadvantage to the Walkers. You can stab the Walkers in the head to insta-kill them from the back, but not the front...? You can only do that if you get into these awful scripted sequences that were designed solely for controllers, where you have to line up the cursor to their heads as the entire screen shakes. In the same vein, you can hit walkers with various blunt objects, but you can't just target the head to destroy it. Sometimes you hit them in the chest, and they drop dead which makes no sense. It should be mentioned that, as terrible as this all is, it's significantly worse on PC because the mouse is bugged. Even if you turn off Aim Assist, which comes on by default, the mouse still snaps to random objects. And I really mean RANDOM objects. Objects with no importance will have a certain magnetic pull to them, and when you couple that with the game's irremovable mouse acceleration, you end up with a jankfest where you literally cannot control your actions, making it impossible to do anything. If you can stomach all this and continue to play, you'll realize the survivor system is just TERRIBLE because you go through all this trouble to get them in your party and then you send them to get supplies, and they come back an inch from death with a single ration or very little fuel. It's unbelievable how bad this game is, but it doesn't end there. There's segments where you have to use your gun, so ammo conservation is out the window, there's routes you can take in your car which have predetermined stops, making fuel conservation impossible, and all of this because this is a linear game which has its survival mechanics fisted into it like you would stuff a turkey's ass on Thanksgiving. But my favorite is this bug I found. This game is so lazy that I actually got caught in a loop where the zombies kept spawning behind me as soon as I looked away from their spawn point. [2013] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS3, Xbox 360 Developer: Gearbox Software Publisher: Sega [DX] I have a long history with Aliens: Colonial Marines. I've called it the worst first person shooter ever released, and it looks like it's time for me to explain why I think that again. I'll preface this by saying that I think it's the worst first-person shooter from a major studio; I've played several independent shooters that are far worse, but that's either because they were made by complete amateurs or in the case of something like Psychotoxic... the game clearly isn't complete. Colonial Marines is another game that should have been outright canceled, and I'm sure at some point it probably was, with it taking around six years to finally see store shelves. The final product is not only a disgrace to its licensed property and source material, but also one of the worst showcases of mechanics ever. It's really no wonder Sega had to lie about this game to sell it. Colonial Marines certainly isn't a complex game, but it did take me a while to figure out why I hated the game so much from a mechanical perspective the first time I played it. The tutorial mission is plagued with random occurrences that you don't identify as gameplay staples until you're well into at least the third mission. For example, one of the infamously horrible things about this game is how you seem to have a higher priority to the Xenomorphs than your squad mates; and they will, to their own detriment, target you specifically, oftentimes dogpiling you until you're dead. Xenomorphs will stagger you and sometimes pull you into ridiculous scripted sequences. The sound it makes when they rip off your armor is the worst sound effect in the history of gaming. And it plays CONSTANTLY. I don't know why someone associated that sound with armor, but to me it sounds like you're being lit on fire. This is a noise you're hearing constantly, because even if the Xenos don't melee you, their blood will also deplete your armor. Every single gunfight in this game leaves you with considerably less armor and health than you had going into it, even if you land every shot because there's no way to reliably avoid damage. Of course, you're not going to be hitting every single shot because this game's gunplay is broken. With every weapon, your aim shifts around, leading you to miss shots you should be landing. You can be standing perfectly still and the weapon still sways, which means you lose accuracy no matter what. This is an intentional mechanic, and this was explained to me by TemplarGFX, the creator of the ACM Overhaul mod, in my original Colonial Marines video. Quote: [DX] I originally thought the hit detection was just not working, but he cleared that up as well. Quote: [DX] I couldn't have said it any better myself. When you make a first-person shooter and the shooting aspect of the game doesn't work, your game is garbage. I have never encountered this level of incompetence with any other major release because almost everything terrible about this game is intentional. Another good example of this is the Boiler Xenos you encounter midway through the game. This is supposed to be a stealth section, and making sound attracts the Boilers which explode and kill you. I remarked how busted this segment seemed when I first covered this game. TemplarGFX, once again, had a good explanation. Quote: [DX] Aliens: Colonial Marines is so atrocious that when recording capture for this game, I had to quit playing it. It was so bad that if I played a single second more, I would have lost my mind. Likewise, if I have to keep talking about this game, I will also lose my mind. So let's just move on. [2014] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS3, Xbox 360 Developer: Teyon Publisher: Reef Entertainment [confused screaming] [DX] Rambo: The Video Game is a more traditionally bad game. It doesn't have many bugs, there's no horrendous mechanics, it's just a game that is not in the right genre - and probably a property that shouldn't have been adapted in this medium to begin with. Rambo is a rail shooter that adapts the first three Rambo films - quite terribly adapts them, for various reasons. The game clearly had very little money, so it rips its audio straight from the films; but because of that lack of money, it doesn't have the scope necessary to properly bring its worlds to life. What this leads to is a butchering of the stories, First Blood specifically, where it will cut off sequences or not give the proper context for them, which just makes every scene hilarious. In this scene here, Rambo is supposed to have a PTSD flashback of being tortured in Vietnam, but they didn't animate that so he just starts screaming like a pterodactyl for no apparent reason. [angry_scream_619.wav] [DX] Even the scenes that are visually adapted 1:1 are terrible because the audio mixing is horrible and you can't hear anything. [DX] Every character in the game looks like a gelatin version of their real life counterparts. Rambo himself looks like he's a half-man, half-penguin hybrid smeared in baby oil. Jokes aside, this game is a total bastardization of every film it adapts, which says a lot because two out of the three films it's adapting are mindless action and it can't even get that right. The gameplay is no better - in fact, it's considerably worse. You move from area to area shooting people, which, of course, isn't inherently bad, but it's this weird combination of mechanics the game has with its total inconsistency that drives me up a wall every time I play it. For starters, enemies have bulletproof hats, meaning that headshots don't always kill the enemy. You can shoot someone's hat, move onto the next target, but the first idiot isn't dead so he continues to shoot you. Reloading in this game is putrid, with this awful mini-game that determines how much ammo you get. Admittedly, I despise active reload just as a concept, but in this game in particular, it feels like an annoying gimmick that serves no tactical challenge to the player, and it's pretty bad for one other reason. Rambo regains health in what is referred to as "Wrath Mode." Rambo starts screaming, which slows the game down, and for every enemy killed, Rambo regains health. It is entirely possible to activate Wrath Mode and get into the reload mini-game at the same time. The reload is then slowed down as well, and because Wrath Mode depletes the second you toggle it off, you have just wasted it entirely because you had to reload. The mistake they made with Wrath Mode was tying slow motion and health regeneration together. Wrath Mode can't be a recharging bar like the one in F.E.A.R., because the player could then just infinitely spam regen while trying to use slow motion. The existence of this sort of design oversight doesn't really surprise me, it's just par for the course with such an amateurishly made game. This is further proven in the level where Rambo has to fight off the National Guard, but he can't kill any of them. You have to shoot them in the legs to disarm them, but you can accidentally kill them anyways as they fall with a stray bullet. The idea of having a shooting segment where you can't kill the people trying to kill you is laughable, and another indicator that maybe this film shouldn't have been adapted. The game is also chock full of quick time events that are very rudimentary, but if just their mere presence is enough to set you off, there's a perk that makes you never fail them. Rambo: The Video Game is a slog to play through. It doesn't do anything well, it just does things to differing degrees of bad. The only entertainment you'll get out of it is seeing how they recreate scenes from the movie with such a low budget. [DX] This is the last time I will ever talk about this game, because I can't come up with any more clever ways of saying that Aliens: Colonial Marines... DOES DOES NOT DOES NOT WORK. My hatred of this game stems from the fact that it just doesn't... function properly. And quite honestly, I feel like I'm in Bizarro World when people tell me that it's "not that bad" or that it's not even in contention for the worst first-person shooter. As someone who has actually played the games that people say are worse, I can tell you that they are not nearly as broken. In fact, Colonial Marines makes them all look competent by comparison. It's just a shame that this is a licensed game, because if it wasn't, you'd be seeing it in our next category instead. [2016] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS4 Developer & Publisher: Capcom [DX] Umbrella Corps is a game so miserable that you couldn't find a multiplayer lobby to play in on its release day. It's a game I bought for $1 during a sale, and I think I overpaid. Capcom's smartest move with this game was scrubbing it of the Resident Evil name. It fails as a third-person shooter, it fails as a first-person shooter, and it fails as a competitive shooter. I say it tries to be all those things with confidence because of how hilariously jarring the gameplay is. You're tasked with obtaining virus samples, defending points and recovering briefcases. If this game functioned properly or was developed competently, none of these objectives would be inherently difficult to complete. But it doesn't, and it wasn't, so their difficulty is determined the amount of patience you have, your ability to exploit the AI, and which map from the Resident Evil universe the mission takes a shit on the face of. You've likely already noticed that the character takes up a decent portion of the screen, and, of course, there's no FOV options. When you aim rifles, you go into first-person and the low FOV persists, becoming a problem because of how hard it is to see enemies around you. For pistols, you don't even go into first person; you zoom in on the character's hand, but you can still see their head, because what this game needed was even less visible screen space. The gunplay is very important because of how the AI behaves. They're either totally braindead and you can run right past them, sometimes never even seeing a single enemy in the mission - or they obliterate you. This likely isn't helped by the horrendous zombie shield mechanic that makes you stop moving so they can swarm you, or the terrible placement of objectives in Domination where they can flank you from all sides. The inconsistency with the AI leads you to attempt various pseudo-speedrunning methods so you don't even come into contact with them so they don't have the chance to kill you - because if they do, you fail the entire mission. And since the missions are structured in tiers, if you fail one tier, you fail the entire thing and have to start from the first one. But I saved the best for last. These missions all take place in various Resident Evil locations, except they seem to have forgotten that Umbrella Corps is a competitive shooter because they literally copy-and-pasted the maps from the old games with zero regard for how they would play in an entirely different genre. What's more, for some missions, they decided the original game should inspire the mechanics, so when you get to the Raccoon City Police Department levels... they limit your ammo. Umbrella Corps seriously borders on unplayable. It's a game where you do the same three things on the same map six times and they only bothered to record four lines for the character you're playing, so you'll start losing your mind as you repeat the same horrible experience over and over. [2011] Platforms: PS3, Xbox 360 Developer: feelplus Publisher: Square Enix [DX] Mindjack is a boring game. Not just boring in the sense that it's bad and offers no excitement because of how terrible it is, but boring because it's been outdone in terms of its terribleness as the years have passed by. At the very least, Mindjack functions, which is a lot more than can be said for some of the games you'll see after this. That doesn't make it good, it just means that there's really nothing notable about it beyond its hilarious and sad attempts to mimic the Western third-person shooters of its time. Mindjack is a third-person cover shooter where you can hack into the minds of your enemies - an interesting premise executed poorly because this is the entire game. You're guided through a very thin story by countless shooting segments in corridors that all play the exact same. Hacking into other enemies isn't even really necessary, as you have the ability to use downed enemies as mind slaves that turn on their allies. You can acquire these mind slaves incredibly easily because of how dumb the AI is, almost letting themselves be killed so they can join your cause. The AI also... sinks into the floor when it dies. It's certainly not the most offensive gameplay I've ever seen, but it begins to erode at your patience after you finish the... THIRD consecutive corridor and you realize that you're not going to be doing anything else for the rest of the game, save for the boss battles. More on those later. I can't understate just how bad the AI truly is; sometimes they're blind and you can pull off ridiculous flanks on them, and other times they just don't move at all. Your teammate's AI is equally suicidal, as they run into rooms with no cover and get themselves downed on a consistent basis, and you have no ability to control them. Hacking into other characters is amusing, but, like I said, entirely unnecessary and sometimes even pointless because certain characters, like the robots, can't fit through the tiny corridors and actually do anything. In this game, you're in an airport for what feels like two hours. Then, you head underground and do the same thing seventeen more times until you get above ground and do the same thing ten more times, then you fight a boss. Mindjack has the worst boss battles ever, mainly because you don't have to fight the bosses - not all of them anyways. In this fight, you can just run around the area, and the boss will be defeated... by a timer. I ran into the middle of the fight, getting shot from every single direction, and then the boss fight just... ended. In sharp contrast, there's another boss fight after this that drags on for about thirty minutes because the pussy enemies keep running from you and are nigh invincible. Mindjack BLOWS. It's very obviously a cheap cash-in, one of countless attempts to ride on the coattails of Gears of War, and it's definitely the worst one. But... we did get this gem out of it. [2018] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS4 Developer: Human Head Studios Publisher: Square Enix [inaudible raging] [DX] The Quiet Man is the most puzzling game you'll see today. The fact that this game made it beyond a single pitch is absolutely baffling, leading me to believe that the game that we got is much different than whatever was greenlit into production. There has never been a game more ungrateful of all the work that goes into developing a game than this one. It could even be argued that there was significant meddling during its development cycle that got us such a complete disaster and abomination. The Quiet Man is a game where you can't hear anything. All of its gameplay and its entire story play out with nothing being audible except very muted sound effects. There are no subtitles for spoken dialogue, and there are no subtitles when the characters sign. This is because the main character, Dane, is deaf. If I was deaf, I would likely be even more enraged than I am just thinking about this game, because of how poorly it portrays what it's really like to be deaf. And not from a story perspective, Dane tends to behave mostly like a deaf person would; he can clearly read lips and obviously sign, but the game's presentation of being deaf is what's so abhorrent. The Quiet Man is literally just a game without sound. There is no attempt to educate its audience on what it's like to live without one of your senses, it just presents itself and expects the player to make sense of its lunacy without the context of how a deaf person actually perceives the world. Instead, it's more like you're just robbed of your ability to hear randomly and have to navigate life without any of the preparation a deaf person has had. It's difficult to put into words how infuriating it is to sit through a game for three hours with cutscenes playing without the ability to understand ANY of what's going on. All I could think in the back of my head was, "I can't believe someone actually made a game like this." The intent was obviously to try to put the player into the shoes of Dane, but it doesn't work because Dane knows what's happening and we don't. The gameplay is just a vehicle for the story, and while that sounds reductive and potentially even insulting towards game narratives as a whole, trust me... it isn't. It's a beat 'em up with zero variety. You enter a room, you fight people, you leave the room, and repeat until another insane cutscene plays. Making any sense of this game's story is almost impossible, especially when it presents you with a twist at the end after the credits roll. This game received exactly one patch, and only after it was clear what a creative failure it was. The Quiet Man: Answered adds sound and subtitles, and this is where the shit really hits the fan because once you can comprehend the story... you realize it's atrocious. Dane, the main character, was abused as a child by his father, Robert, after Lorraine, his mother was accidentally shot and killed. As an adult, he meets a woman named Lala who looks nearly identical to Lorraine, and while he clearly has feelings for Lala, she's in a relationship with his best friend, Taye, who was also there with Dane when his mother was killed. Robert is trying to get revenge on the person who killed Lorraine, a gangbanger named Isaac. So Robert and Lala come up with a plan to stage a kidnapping to goad Dane into killing Isaac and getting revenge for him killing Lorraine; but, as it turns out, the person who really killed Lorraine was Taye. And the only way Dane can beat Taye is by becoming his alter ego, the Quiet Man. What? [2010] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS3, Xbox 360 Developer: IO Interactive Publisher: Square Enix [random male #1] ...genius with a knife. You know what I mean. [???] [random male #1] Careful, mate! [random male #2] Goddamn. It's close. [DX] Have you ever played a game so bad where, during the first mission, you immediately wanted to stop playing and forget the game existed? Say hello to Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days. Built on the back of the success of the first game, which was also by no means good, but at least interesting, Dog Days takes everything Kane & Lynch: Dead Men did with its lukewarm mediocrity and turns it into barely comprehensible sewage. Dog Days is a hard game to talk about without developing an urge to jump from your nearest window, so I'll keep this short. Kane & Lynch 2 is a third-person cover shooter where cover doesn't work, and neither does shooting. If you're playing it at the pace of a directionally challenged slug, it can still be finished within... FOUR FOUR HOURS because it virtually has no story. It's a game that looks exactly like whatever its tiny budget was, but the game tries to cover this up with even worse-looking visual effects that only compound how cheap the game looks. When you get into the first gameplay segment, you realize the camera is your first enemy because it bobbles as if someone is actually holding it behind the characters, a move which I'm sure got many people to return the game immediately. You can turn this off, but I'm not sure who this feature appeals to in the first place, and it's on by default. Once you get to some real enemies, you realize just how horrible the gunplay is with sets of enormous crosshairs designating where your bullets actually go as if the gun had fifteen different barrels it could shoot from. But don't worry; for every round that hits an enemy, you get a hitmarker. It's baffling how the gunplay is also bad in Dead Men and they made it worse here. Sometimes headshots don't do anything, and entire sprays in range barely land. And that's... the whole game. You enter a level, you shoot some people, there's a lot of incoherent screaming with atrocious audio mixing like this: [almost inaudible garbage] [Shang-Si] Therefore... I make this offer. Mr. Lynch... [INAUDIBLE GUNSHOT LOL] [DX] And then the game is over. The game just... ends. I've had people legitimately tell me that every design decision in this game is deliberate, so this game is right where it belongs because it's apparently deliberately shit. [2013] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS3, Xbox 360 Developer: Eutechnyx Publisher: Deep Silver [DX] Ride To Hell: Retribution is the most unfinished game ever shipped. Announced in 2008, canceled in 2009, resurrected that same year and then slated for 2011, Ride To Hell was finally released in 2013. There has never been a game with a name that more accurately reflects its development cycle than this one. Ride To Hell is what happens when you run out of money while making a game, then try to finish it by duct taping together what assets you already created and doing the rest on the budget of a children's birthday party. It's almost not fair to have this game on here because of how obviously incomplete it is, which results in many of the game's problems, but Ride To Hell can eat my whole ass anyways because it is god goddamn goddamn terrible. In this game, you play as Jake Conway, a veteran returning from Vietnam; and upon his return, his brother is killed by a rival biker gang. Jake is also shot in this encounter, but he survives because of experiments done on him in Vietnam. That isn't a joke. Ride to Hell is a cartoon. Its entire story is a kid's idea of what a tough guy behaves like where they kill all the bad guys and get all the girls, which is ironic because all the characters look like deformed action figures and are animated to have the same amount of articulation as a toy. Ride To Hell sees you fighting, driving, and shooting your way through its story as you try to get revenge for your brother. All - and I really mean ALL - of its mechanics are broken. Melee fighting is a joke because you can spam the move to break people's blocks which looks like you're winding a special gear in Jake's posterior that propels him to his enemies every time he lifts his leg. ["The foot is mightier than the fist!" -DX 2015] Driving is not really driving as much as it is third-person bullet hell. You can only go forward, and if you get stuck, you start over - the problem being that you can get stuck on potentially anything, including the road itself. You can also get stuck in slow motion loops where the game doesn't re-enter real time even if you shoot the people you need to. What's really funny is that the in-game timer doesn't stop when you're in these loops, so you immediately fail the mission. Your bike can also spontaneously explode at any given moment. The shooting is easily the biggest problem with the gameplay. Ride To Hell has mouse acceleration issues on par with The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct. You can't fix them, so you just have to deal with it, and it cripples every fight you're in since you can't just aim at the person you're trying to shoot at as much as you can maneuver your entire body to make sure theirs is in your crosshairs. Luckily, enemies will line up for you, and there's slow motion for every headshot kill, so it's not as bad as it could be, but still entirely unacceptable and garbage. Something I really want to focus on with this game is the voice acting. This game has the worst voice acting I've ever heard. [Anvil] You know how to move, tiny? You ever slice an ear off a baby cow? They scream and scream. It's funny. [inarticulate screaming] - [Johnny] You're mine! - [Suzi] Thank you, thank you. Come on. We need to stop him. Please, stop him! - [Jake] Get on. [Gemma] You're the devil! [gibberish I don't care to caption] [Jake?] Enough of this shit. [DX] Now, very astute viewers may notice that the footage of Ride To Hell shown here may look different than the game they remember. That's because it does. After a lot of tinkering with .ini files, I managed to drastically change what the game looks like. With no more obnoxious bloom, no more overly saturated colors, and after stripping the game's horrible implementation of depth of field, it looks a whole hell of a lot better and actually looks like it might have come out in 2013 instead of 2008. I even changed the way the bike handling works by altering the gravity settings of physics. It's still not great, but it handles much smoother and drifting is much more easy now. Because of these findings, it's difficult to have sympathy for the game, even considering the hellacious circumstances it was made under. Ride To Hell was never going to be good, but the omission of several basic features and the game's revolting presentation paint a picture of total incompetence even beyond the obvious lack of resources the game had. [2019] Platforms: PC (Windows), PS4 Developer: Ilinx / Publisher: Square Enix [DX] If I could ever beat the fuck out of a game, it would be Left Alive. It's rare that a game is this offensive with how bad it is, but Left Alive does EVERYTHING in its power to be as awful as possible. If you've ever wanted to play a stealth game that doesn't know it's a stealth game, this is the game for you. In Left Alive, you play as three different characters, each trying to make their way out of a war zone. It's a survival-action game - or so it calls itself - so you're limited on resources and have to search around the map to find them, and you can also be rewarded them by doing side objectives on each mission. Left Alive's problem is that every enemy is playing an action game and you're the only one playing a stealth game. Except... there's no stealth mechanics. AT ALL. The only thing that comes close are cans you can throw at enemies to distract, but these cans are essential to creating throwables, and they don't distract the enemies enough for you to sneak past them, so they're useless. If you come across an enemy with their back turned, you can't execute them. There are no executions. You have to melee them (if you have a melee weapon), and that takes time and makes noise, and lowers the durability of the weapon. [Game] Caution - close quarters weapon damaged. [DX] The enemies don't even have discernible patterns. Most are permanently stationary, and as mentioned, don't even move when distracted. What Left Alive really is is a third-person shooter where you have extremely limited resources, while the enemies have unlimited resources. The real challenge of the game is surviving long enough to gather enough resources to take gunfights with enemies that you couldn't possibly sneak past to progress further in the level. Except, oops, the gunplay is shit and the cover system is broken! Enemies take an inordinate amount of shots to go down, and you'll inevitably miss some of those because of how they flinch when shot. There's also no headshot multiplier... until you beat the game. You have to BEAT THE GAME TO UNLOCK HEADSHOTS! So that's ammo conservation and consistency in fights out the window, but wait until you see how cover works. It doesn't. You can leave cover, you can climb over it, and you can jump over it. But I'm not sure why those last two aren't the same thing and aren't activated by one key, but they don't work anyways. You can press it and NOTHING will happen, like here where I lose my mind because I got stuck in cover while trying to do stealth. All of this goes to why this game is so poorly designed. There's a thousand different things this game tries to teach you because it has a thousand different mechanics, except the ones that matter. It has a weight system, it has weapon durability, it has stamina, bleeding, crafting, looting, and inventory management. There's so many menus you have to go through to select the action you want to take that by the time you do, the enemy may be gone or may have already spotted you after you started the confrontation and killed you. The loading screen has 61 different tips to read! And for WHAT? Even if you do the horrible stealth, the enemies are omniscient and know where you are anyways with the slightest sign of provocation. It's like they spent all their time developing mechanics for another game and didn't tie those secondary mechanics into the core game, making it as infuriating and terrible as it is. The best example of this is what happens when you're near an enemy. The game has a laughable stealth indicator at the top, which I think they realized didn't do anything, so they just tell you when an enemy is near you. [Game] Caution - the enemy is approaching. [Game] Caution - the enemy is approaching. (x2) [Game] Caution - the enemy is approaching. (x3) [Game] Caution - the enemy is approaching. (x8934278958948) [DX] Left Alive is UNQUESTIONABLY the worst game of 2019, despite looking like a game from 2009. But your PC will think it's a game from 2029 because the optimization is awful. On a GTX 1070, I got 45 frames (per second) on LOW. Like I said, this game tries as hard as it can to be as bad as possible. [2015] Platforms: PC (Windows) Developer: Reality Pump Studios Publisher: TopWare Interactive [Santorio?] Take a walk by the docks and see for yourself. He's the guy pissing all over his sailors. [Christopher] He is-- you mean he's actually pissing on his own men? [Santorio?] Aye. Says the golden rum toughens their hides. [DX] Raven's Cry was released in January of 2015 and was immediately the worst game of the year. It came out unfinished, containing more bugs than the Amazon Rainforest, including an infamous one where the characters' voices would be distorted because of the load the game put on the CPU. [uncaptionable garbage] [DX] Fast forward ten months, and the game was re-released under a new name: "Vendetta: The Curse of Raven's Cry" featuring numerous bug fixes, balancing changes, re-recorded dialogue, and a lot of additional gameplay. Although I commend the effort from Reality Pump to fix their own game, something that is always welcome and encouraged, Vendetta is... still horrendous. I've thrown around the word "unplayable" quite a bit here, and Vendetta is yet another game that falls into that category. In Vendetta, you play as Christopher Raven, who is hired by a Spaniard official to murder one of his fellow officers. Instead of getting paid for the assassination however, he's double crossed, and the rest of the game plays out with you trying to find a new ship and a new crew. What is a somewhat interesting start to the game is quickly squandered squandered when you get to gameplay and realize just how hard it is to do ...anything. Vendetta is a game where it's insanely difficult to acquire resources, which could be a reflection of how hard it must have been to buy a ship and hire a crew in the 17th century, but even considering that, the game's difficulty is more derived from deliberate underpowering of the main character and a seemingly endless number of broken mechanics. This is all demonstrated perfectly when you get to the first hub. The ship you obtained prior to arriving is not very good, and if you'd like to do repairs or upgrades, that's impossible because of how much that costs and how little money you have. You have the option to buy another ship, but that's, again, impossible because the ship costs ten times more than what you have, even if you got the most amount of money possible in the game's tutorial. You can do side missions for money, but one includes going to a remote island to settle a debt for one of your crewmen, which cannot be done because it involves ship combat, and like I said, your ship is horrible, so you will always lose. Another side mission involves you saving a woman of the night, but good luck saving her when you're fighting off two people. Vendetta's combat just... doesn't work. I can't describe it any other way. It often feels like you're waving around a magic wand instead of a sword that doesn't do anything, while enemies have lightsabers that maul you. You can miss swings that should hit, like the enemies are ethereal, and blocking is totally unresponsive. There's a set of options you have while fighting, like drawing your gun or kicking the enemy, but they're incredibly hard to pull off spontaneously, and if you miss your shot, which is entirely possible because of how wonky the aiming is, it takes anywhere from five to seven seconds to reload. Vendetta is an open-world game that forces you into its linear story path because it's not possible to do anything else with how weak you are. Even if you manage to overcome the game's outstanding lack of polish, it has the AUDACITY to lock weapons behind levels so you can't use them to further gain influence by completing other side missions. And that's no easy feat, by the way; if the broken mechanics don't deter you enough, the game's horrible optimization will. The performance gets so bad at times that you have to start measuring it in seconds per frame. The final straw for me was the ship battles. In addition to the terrible performance during them, and how awful your ship is in comparison to the other ships you can randomly get paired against on your way to a destination, they play atrociously. There's a billion different controls the game never articulates to you that are essential to navigation, like how to ride with the wind, the cannons have delay, which makes firing them accurately practically impossible, and the tips that the game gives you, like ramming smaller ships, seems to be a flat-out lie with your chances of a successful board being lower than the percentage of completion this game shipped at. It's also worth noting that they spent around nine months reworking the game, and didn't change any of the hilariously bad cutscenes. All of the characters still have the same broken eyelines and zero facial expressions. In one of these, you can even see a Fraps framerate counter at the bottom. The dialogue is also just laughable, and the tone shifts dramatically in conversation for no apparent reason. [Marcus] Pete always seems fit to take the best among us. Peterson was a good man. Now, this Tirado bastard... [Christopher] To hell with Tirado! Did you see? [Marcus] See what? [Christopher] That sword. Your man Peterson was killed the same way my father was. The bastards who killed my family... they're back! [DX] Vendetta is garbage, and if you need any further convincing of this, take a look at this bug I found where leaving the tavern in the tutorial freezes every character on the screen. [DX] Today you've seen broken games, you've seen unfinished games, but The Quiet Man is neither. To me, the worst game can only be one that is bad despite all optimal conditions. Ride To Hell had its funding pulled, Hunt Down The Freeman was made by amateurs, and Colonial Marines had its development outsourced. In essence, many of the games you saw today never had the chance to be good. But NOT The Quiet Man. This is a game that is bad by design. It's a game that could have a menu, but doesn't. It's a game that could have had subtitles, but didn't. It's a game that could have included the hard work that its actors and its composer put their time into, but instead decides to mute everything, which also ruined the player's experience. All because of this guy. This is Kensei Fujinaga. The Quiet Man was his brainchild, he is the game's producer. He released a series of notes that explain why this game is the way it is, and I'd like to read some of them to you. [DX] If none of that made any sense in the context of this game, that's because it doesn't. Fujinaga made a game that doesn't even reflect what he is talking about. Words are not sound. The Quiet Man has words - plenty of them. It uses them as a medium of communication like you or I do; its presentation is what's void of words, but only because it's void of sound. Dane can speak like the rest of us, but we can't hear it. Fujinaga, in his lunacy, made a game that misses the point of his own ideology. Dane doesn't have to be deaf for his story to work; in fact, him being deaf is what's so thematically jarring about this story. But it doesn't end there; After they were forced to release the version of this game with sound, Fujinaga released another note. And... holy shit... I have never read something that makes as little sense as this does. [DX] There you have it. The Quiet Man is the worst game of the decade because it was made by someone who does not understand their own idea. This level of gross incompetence is typically only seen once a decade, and I'm happy to say that The Quiet Man joins excellent company like... Bubsy 3D as one of the WORST GAMES OF ALL TIME. And with that, we've reached our end. Thank you to everyone who patiently waited for this... "short film" (???) [more like a full-length movie] and I hope you enjoyed it. These were... the Worst Games of the Decade. [DX] Hey there guys, I hope you enjoyed the video. I'd like to give a special thanks now to everyone who became a Patron during the making of this video. Thank you to: [patron names on screen] Thank you for supporting the content, and thank you for supporting the vision. Peace out, guys. Take care.
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Views: 1,545,521
Rating: 4.8449945 out of 5
Keywords: Worst Games Of The Decade, Bad Games, Worst Games Ever, The Top 20 Worst Games Ever, The Worst Steam Library Ever, Worst Games On Steam, Hunt Down The Freeman, Aliens: Colonial Marines, The Quiet Man, Mindjack, Raven's Cry, Past Cure, Unearthed: Trail of Ibn Battuta, Left Alive
Id: xLOtUnOl6Qg
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 89min 31sec (5371 seconds)
Published: Mon Apr 27 2020
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