- Hey, sorry I'm late. - No worries, thanks for coming. - Oh yeah, of course. By the way, I brought my friend
John. I hope that's okay. - (laughs) God, why'd
he have to bring John? - Who's John? - He's one of those straight guys that's always shoving it in your face. He's flaming straight. (metal music) (grunts) - Sup guys. Cool party. Need
me to fix your fuse box? - Nope, John. Fuse box is fine,
just try to enjoy yourself. (thumps) Don't nut tap me! - No homo. You guys want a beer? - Yeah, I'll take a beer. Oh, it's warm. - You guys got a lighter? - Do you smoke? - No. See the game last night? - What game? There's
baseball-- that was just-- - Oh, man, that guy's so
straight he doesn't even finish conversations properly. - Okay, but don't you think he's acting just a little bit too straight? I mean, I don't have a problem
with it, but some people do. Does he have to wipe
his hands on his pants? - Is that a straight guy thing? - Yeah, straight as the 40 yard line. - Now he's doing rap arms,
but he's not even rapping. - Oh, I bet he freestyles though. Scratching the back of his head a lot. - He looks like maybe he's hurt. - That's so straight. Man, I've always wanted like a super straight friend, you know? - I mean, it's pretty fun. He
smells like shit all the time. - What about me? - Shh, he's pretending the
drumset's right in front of him. Classic straight guy move. - He's rocking out. (rock music) (groans) - Whoa, nice sunglasses. - Got them at a gas station. - Cool. - You got a lighter? - No. - (sighs) Fuck. - Whoa. He's as straight as a
long piece of dried spaghetti. - Zack, I didn't know your
friend John was straight. - Okay, how can you tell he's straight? - He's got that like, straight voice. - It's like a not gay James Dean. - James Dean was gay? - Yeah. - Really. - Big time gay. - Really? - I don't know. - Your stud's here, if
you wanna hang something. - (all) Thank you. - I'm straight too, you know. I just don't feel like flaunting it. - Okay Raf, that's coming
on a little bit too strong. See, he's just straight,
straight as a boomerang that doesn't function properly
because it's so straight. - If he puts his hands down his pants-- (all yell) (groans) - I bet he's the type to really
take charge in the bedroom. - I really want him to tell me how to look, dress, think, and feel. - He's a jerk. - (both) I know. - He's checking out the TV.
He's checking out the TV! - Panasonic? - Yeah, it's a Panasonic. - Okay. - Okay what? Is that
good, bad, Panasonic what? - Yo, chill out, man. - Yeah. - You got a lighter? - You already asked me that.
Look, you're straight, okay? We all know that. There was never a doubt in
our minds, you're straight. You don't have to shove it in
our faces all the time, okay? It's too much. That's not even
straight, that's gay as hell. What are you doing? (all yell) - Hockey. - Yo, if I could get real for a sec? I know a lot of people don't accept me because I'm so straight. But you know what? I may know how to fix a light
switch, but I ain't one. I can't turn off my
straightness, you know? I'm straight. I'm straight. Love it or leave it, you know? If you'd excuse me, I gotta go
sharpen my knife collection. (punches) (groans) - Hey, what's up? It's
Allie from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe, click here to see some more cool
stuff, and if you wanna see a hot babe in the city, click here. I made that. This is what I like.
LMAO! What the fuck is this ???!!
College humor is fucking hilarious. But the one I’m partial to is “is that hot guy gay?”
Lmao I’ve seen this 😂😂
I have that friend. I can confirm, he's the straightest guy I've ever met.