If Google Was A Guy (Full Series)

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What happens IF drank expired milk?

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/Sir_Tandeath 📅︎︎ Nov 27 2019 🗫︎ replies
- Next. (upbeat music) Hello, there. - Is today tomorrow New Zealand? - Yes. - Foot same length Europe? - What? - Inch same length Europe. - Gmail.com. - Oh, god. - What is bitcoin? - Butt hole! (laughs) Gross fat butt hole dick poop. - Is that what kids are into these days? (boy giggling) Are your parents home? - Miss Pippi. - You mean Mississippi? Hey, I'm not a dictionary. - My grandson Nathan. - Song that goes ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ - Girls' college. - Oh, um. - Sort of right, college girls. Nude. (Google sighs) - Really? - Patrick Cassels. Pat Cassels. Pat Cassels, funny. - Bitcoin market value. - Weed amount legal NYC. - Patrick Cassels, funny writer, CollegeHumor. - Are you gonna do this all day? - What is prime meridian? - Heg hog cute! - Do you mean hedgehog? - Heg hog cute! - God, do you mean hedge-- - Hedgehogs cute! - Adderall, max dose. - Yeah. - Adderall, max dose, 165-pound man? - Okay. - Adderall, max dose, 165-pound man, 20 years old? Adderall overdose signs! - Download Firefox. - Ever heard of Chrome? - How to buy bitcoin? - Titanic drawing. - "Titanic" movie drawing. - Um. - "Titanic" movie drawing scene. Kate Winslet tits. Round two. - Facebook.com, my grandson Nathan. - No. - Dexter based on real? - Free hamster. - Unbuy bitcoin. - Boston bomber. - It's a real tragedy. - Cute one. - Oh fucking shit! Next! I said next! (upbeat music) - Why am I a length? - Okay. - Cream cheese is cheese? - Wait, do you still wanna know-- - Avocado pit huge, why? - Okay, don't speak in these weird haikus. - How to tell if pregnant? - Oh boy. - How to tell if-- - Tell if pregnant? - Jennifer! - Local mosque Seattle. - NSA, don't mind me. - How to pronounce dough ga coin. - According to Google Maps, there's a number-- - Security. - Can you please? - Not blackmail. - Just. - Oh, 'scuse me. - Oh no, no, come on in. Today is Jackson Pollock's birthday, so we're, uh, celebrating his particular style of painting. - Why farts smell? - One of the most important painters of all time and you wanna know why farts smell, so there you go. - Flight to Washington. - Bank transfer all money to Dogecoin how? - Okay, Glass. (Google snickers) Search avoid being bullied for wearing Google Glass. (Google laughing) - Flight to Washington state. - I knew you made that mistake. - F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F. - I think your F key is stuck! F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F, F. - Why longitude shaped like a orange slice? - [Man In T-Shirt] You're so wrong, dumb ass! - We'll see. Groundhogs Day or Groundhog Day? - Groundhog Day. - Oh! Haircut place, bowl cut. - Terror pictures. - Oh, uh. - Oh, sorry, terrier pictures. - Oh. (laughs) Okay. (woman squeals) (woman laughs) Hey man, let me do my job, all right? - Fuck you! - Can sue for screen door injured? - Where to buy pet Russian dolphin? - Why do my farts smell? - Tent. - Doing a little camping, huh? - Tentacle hentai. - Oh, come on! (uplifting music) - Open for business, everyone! Come on in, it's awesome in here. Soon, they'll come soon. (chuckles) - Next! Next, come on! (upbeat music) - What up, Google? - [Google] Oh, god. - Eclectic outlets look surprised, why? - Because-- - Millipedes 10 times faster than centipedes? Baby powder made out of babies? - You know that it's not. Well, hello there young man. - Big booty Puerto Rican goddess. (Google inhales) - Taxes have to pay why? - What is YOLO? - Is that your kid's phone? - Is YOLO a drug? - Siri, how big is the Serengeti? - Yeah, I, I should just-- - No problem. Show me pictures of spaghetti. - No, that's not what she asked for. Your search for (speaking gibberish) returned no results. (cat meows) - Vaccines cause autism. - Well, I have one million results that say they don't and one result that says they do. - I knew it. - Just because I have it doesn't mean it's true! - 300 pound beautiful Indian princess. - What's a surf boar? - Do you mean surfboard? - No, surf boar. - Oh. - Do dead people pay taxes? - How do I get to the deep web? - Follow me. (lights crackling) - Google? - You're here. - Google.com. - That is me. - Google.com website. - Heh? - Finally. - How make people think you die? - Sonic the Hedgehog pics. - The old Sega video game? - Safe search off. - Oh, what have you done? - How big is the Serengeti? - More pictures of spaghetti. - How big is the Serengeti? - How big is the Serengeti? - More pictures of spaghetti. - That is not what she asked for! - How big is the Serengeti? - That is not what she asked for! - How big is the Serengeti! - Why do Asian-- - Have small noses, wear face mask, have small eyes, have small penises-- - Pandas have trouble mating in captivity? Jesus. - It's not me, it's them. - Where to buy lifelike bearded mannequin? - Sorry, I don't see spaghetti in your contacts. (Google yelling gibberish) - Biggest, sexiest woman in all of Iraq. - Difference between human body and a mannequin. - Oh, my god. Clear history. (flame hissing) - All right, Sugar Ray, ironically cool yet? - I'm sorry. (chuckles) - Bummer. Big booty Puerto Rican goddess. - Hi. (upbeat music) Just gotta send an email, then I'll be right with you, okay? Oh, you again. - Is hula hoop a sport? - Uh, I don't think-- - Can owls walk? - Can owls walk? - Is Dilbert Jewish? - Recipe using only crackers. - Facebook. - (sighs) Lazy. - Direction to downtown. - Well, it's gonna be 35 minutes unless you use ways. - Get off the highway, now, now, now! - Selena Gomez-- - Gomez feet. - Taylor Swift-- - Swift feet. - Katy Perry-- - Perry feet. - What is wrong with people? - What happens if plant sesame seed? - Oriental rug politically correct? - How to become astronaut? - Bad news. - Mm, how to work for NASA. - Sorry. - Hmm, planetarium jobs? - Nope. - Planetarium volunteers? - Mm-mm. - (sighs) Help wanted laser tag. - Now we're talking. - Dad from "The Nanny" dead? - Now cut across four lanes of traffic! - Mayonnaise as butter substitute. (Google gags) - Facebook. - You know, you could just. (sighs) - Google Wave, what happened? - We killed it. - Google Glass, what happened? - We killed it. - Google car-- - Oh, oh, oh, oh no, that, that, that, that, this is gonna be amazing actually. - Okay to drink expired milk? - No! - What happens if drank expired milk? - Oh, my god, why did you ask me in the first place? - Paul Walker car crash. - Really sad. - Pics. - Red light cameras everywhere. - You're freaking him out. - Racist if only like California rolls? - Age of consent, California. - Facebook. - It is right there! You could just! Stupid. (grunts) That is it for the day. Mm. - Google's down! - Down! (sirens blaring) - Dad from "The Nanny." - Dead? - Seriously? (upbeat music) - Oh, god. Hey, let's go! (Google whistles) - Ha, let's do this! - Oh, not again. - Can you keep a duck? What are the newest shapes? - What are you gonna do with this information? - Is Superman circumcised? - Are dentists more afraid of you? - No, in fact this one killed a lion. - Hot hands and feet. - Is this salt or sugar? - Is what salt or sugar? - Sistine Chapel, how old Michelangelo? - 33. - Moon landing, how old Neil Armstrong? - 38. - Became President, how old Barack Obama? - 47. - Still got three years! - Upload these photos of my nephew. - You know, you might consider uploading these to Google+, it's a lot like Facebook meets Google. It's really starting to take off. - Oh, uh, great, mm-hmm, I'll, I'll check it out. - Can kangaroo be milked. - Is it your or you're? - In what context? Not only is it awesome, but it's also free for you and for all your friends. - I just wanna watch Minecraft videos. - Who else is British? - Sensitive tongue? - Climate change is not real. (box thuds) - Climate change is real. - Climate change is not real. - Fine. - Thank you! - Get out of here. - Anna Kendrick boyfriend? - You really think you have a chance? - Sweating behind the ears. - If you're worried, go see a doctor. - Is left shark still funny? - Is the internet working? - I want you to think about this for a second. - Do a barrel roll. - No, don't type that, don't! (man in striped shirt laughs) No, why would you type that? Grab onto something! (yells) (Google gasping) (logo beeps) - Hot hands and feet. - Cancer. (calm music) (logo beeps)
Channel: CollegeHumor
Views: 15,807,053
Rating: 4.9419699 out of 5
Keywords: Collegehumor, CH originals, comedy, sketch comedy, internet, humor, funny, sketch, brian sacca, brian murphy, adam conover, mike trapp, randall park, milana vayntrub, colton dunn, pam murphy, jake hurwitz, fran gillespie, mark mcgrath, sam reich, jon gabrus, will hines, d'arcy carden, CH Shorts, websites, porn, google, internet IRL, If Google Was a Guy, embarrassing, honesty, weird, terrible things, yikes, creepy, brian huskey, george basil, pat cassels, tech parody
Id: Cxqca4RQd_M
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 10min 34sec (634 seconds)
Published: Tue Nov 26 2019
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