Learning Piano to Get Laid (with Bo Burnham)

[Music] hey welcome to learning how to play piano good enough to get you laid Volume one simply owning a piano is impressive enough so let's start to play some notes hey how did you get this piano into your dorm room how you get anything anywhere how to pay the whole thing purple lesson number one be introspective the less you say the sexier you are now this next piece is off the soundtrack about that movie about that dog no Air Bud sounds complicated doesn't it but look at my hands I'm actually just playing the same three notes over and over again lesson number two learn how to play arpeggios oh so beautiful oh it's nothing it's just a series of our pages lesson number three say the word arpeggio as much as possible even if it doesn't make sense your eyes they're like arpeggios on fire well thanks the only thing sexier than a pianist is a songwriter notice how I didn't make an easy pianist joke because integrity is sexy as well lesson number four play a chord nod thoughtfully and then scribble a few dots in the shooting music don't worry you don't actually have to know how to write music squiggles will do the trick that's what I'll be about you if you're feeling ambitious modestly tussle your hair a little bit [Music] everybody knows how to play heart and soul even these vapid soulless groupies so use this opportunity for a duet I'll take the top you take the bottom that's number five union Unite right listen number five piano benches are ridiculously small so use this to your advantage well yeah rubbing off at the top when did you learn to play piano when do people learn anything what is learning what is the piano are we here is this real you know yeah arpeggio lesson number six an octave spans eight keys but that's all technical mumbo-jumbo gypsy talk more importantly than that it lets you show off how big your hands are so you know piano enough to get you laid so if you want to get real lessons to pay for and that's fine but I've not I'm gonna join my harem whatever that's if you like this video cassette you'll love learning how to play the recorder to look nostalgic so remember third grade [Music]

Channel: CollegeHumor

Views: 8,931,004

Rating: 4.9619074 out of 5

Keywords: Bo Burnham, Learning piano to get la, get girls, collegehumor originals, chtv

Id: NdbP6cSFJXs

Length: 3min 7sec (187 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 20 2010

Reddit Comments

[u/Yeargdribble]

He's just one step (four chords) away from impressing people on /r/piano.

Additional steps for just impressing people on the internet:

• Hunch forward with your head down. It makes you look deep and introspective. A hoodie really helps the illusion. If you make a video, black and white is the way to go.

• Don't tell people you're just improvising on a 4 chord progression. Tell them you "wrote a song." "Writing" a song that most pianists can improvise with their eyes closed is super impressive.

• Tell people you're young and have no formal training. Having a teacher and spending time practicing aren't romantic ideas. The idea that you sat in front of the keys and your soul just gushed forth music onto them is way sexier... even if you can only play 4 chords in one key.

• As a corollary to the last step, if you learned a song from sheet music, tell everyone you learned it by ear anyway. It's way more chic to play by ear. It once again implies that you didn't work at it, but rather were just gifted with a musical soul. Real artists don't work at things.

• Be a girl.

• Be attractive.

• Be an attractive girl. Even if you're amazingly talented, people will only comment no how pretty you are and make creepy comments about wanting to marry you.

[u/CasillasQT]

Ok, this guys hands are actually huge.

[u/learnyouahaskell]

Actually the real reason they went crazy was the Yamaha's balanced sound :p

[u/kimcen]

~Arpeggio~

[u/We_Are_Legion]

Too accurate. Went in to not laugh. Couldn't not laugh.

And then I went and saw his full show "what." now my sides hurt.

help

[u/IhateBrowines]

Can confirm. 3 chord progression in a minor with noodling nonsense on the right got me laid in college a few times

[u/[deleted]]

What if im a lady? How will that help me?

[u/happycadaver]

Ahhh, I'm a big Bo fan. He has some excellent comedy specials out there on netflix if anyone hasn't heard of him. Definitely more of a comedian than a pianist, but has a pretty unique standup act centered around his music.

[u/Daemmerung]

I didn't get actual tears in my eyes until the Learning How to Play the Recorder to Look Nostalgic stinger at 2:50. Classic humor tone-shift.