The Secret To Finding The Right Partner | Kingsley Okonkwo

marriage is not by luck having a good marriage is not by luck there are many people that think ah this marriage thing is local you don't know that you just it's like picking a box and you don't know what's inside is when you get home you will see what's inside that's a lazy man's approach marriage is not luck of course there's a part of it that requires god's favor but the journey to a great marriage it starts with you number one first knowing yourself who are you what kind of person are you knowing yourself is crucial to picking the person you want to marry many people have not even discovered themselves your single years have certain benefits and one of the benefits of your single years is to discover yourself is somebody getting what i'm saying from the day you marry your life will never be the same again so and that can be both positively or negatively but your life never remains the same from there you marry so those single years are like gifts that god gives you to study yourself to invest in yourself when you study yourself and you see some areas that are not good you invest in it you see some areas that are so good you also invest in it so that it's maximized if somebody gets what i'm saying you know what i've discovered most of the very successful people i know they found their purpose before they got married is somebody get what i'm saying pastor were you already a person for your marriage huh i didn't forget what i'm saying most very successful people i know they found the path of their life even for the marriage your single years are not meant to be a waste they're not meant to it's a time you discover yourself number one then you discover your purpose where are you going in life what do you want to do see knowing my purpose made it very easy to pick my wife my wife was not the only fine girl i saw when i was single at all there were a few fine girls here and there but by time i talked to them for one or two minutes i can tell that our purposes are not aligned you need a purpose for life before you pick a partner for life come and say here you need what a purpose for life before you pick what a partner for life if you are looking for a life partner you first need life did you hear what i said you need to have a life before you look for life but where are you going with your life what is your personality you discover yourself then what is your purpose where are you going in life you discover that all these things will help you to choose somebody getting what i'm saying a good marriage is not luck it's not luck a good marriage is like looking for any other thing you're looking for in life maybe a house a job whatever if you are looking for a job when you call your uncle that uncle i'm looking for a job please what's the first question we ask you guess now you can try what's the first question we ask you what did you what did you study do you see now so in the thing you are looking for there are some questions you need to ask yourself so that they can match you and the thing you are looking for i don't forget what i'm saying so many people don't understand this i'm looking for a job great looking for a job stands from within you it doesn't start from job desk job but we must match you and the job you are looking for somebody guess what i'm saying if you are looking for a house you just call an agent agent i'm looking for a house what's one of the first things that we ask you he will ask you which area because if you come in and look for house you can give a house in london i will ask you where you say oh important cut great then i'll ask you what type of house because there's one bedroom there's two bedroom there's duplex am i correct then i will see you as the self-contained then i will still ask you what is your budget because house pass house hey somebody's not getting what i'm saying i say house past house the first time i went to look for house where i was already married living then my parents had moved out of lagos so we had an empty house i was staying there with my wife i had got married then i renovated the house so i was staying there so we now outgrew the house it was time to rent a bigger house you know i never entered the house all my life that time so i called the gent i'm looking for houses no problem took me to the house they showed me the house i like it it was five bedroom also with bq as i like it how much when they told me the price say i'm not buying you it's not to buy it's rent i want to rent it house parts house some houses are good but you can't afford it i need somebody what i'm saying ah i'm a car lover for those that follow me again you know i'm a caliber i love cars i'm a car person car pasca even past in this particular there was one hotel i came when i came to preach some time ago i stayed in one hotel so i'm i was looking for a shirt to buy because i think one of my shirts was not my size or something funny so i needed an extra shirt because of the extra session i had to preach in that place so i went to the boutique inside the hotel i said i want to buy so when they showed me the shirt and they told me the price i said no leave me that would hear this thing i said wait i went to call one of my people he's even in his office today i sent him a message i said do you want land in potakot he said yes i said be coming i want to show you land he was very happy i was just he was there but he came i took him to the boutique as i see land here this one he was shocked it was laughing because one shade there was 450 000. shall sleep shall sleep yet faster 450 000. i said oh what happened i don't know if you guys know what i'm saying shirt past i want yes but not this one not this type are you getting what i'm saying so your journey to finding doesn't start outside it's not from you there are many categories of husbands available many category of wife available but for us to match you and the one you want we need to find you that they are selling on it's just me that can buy it they have customers they know their customer my wife is one always advising me but i don't hear what that's before but now i'm hearing what before i don't hear what one time we're going in london germain street was one of popular shopping streets in london so we're going there we saw one shop the shop was locked i said who is doing business and locking in shop i said i wanted to might say look these would have closed their shop they know why they're closing let's be going so we passed when we're coming back again i said let me enter this shop you didn't allow me she said okay you know women they say okay you want to go abby go see man when women tell you want to go be good don't go she doesn't mean it she doesn't mean it from all her mind so i went there the door was locked so i pressed bell shop the door is locked they answer you from intercom you know this one they're not looking for anybody shop and other shops open there they always locked i pressed by the nobody was in the shop floor they had something from intercom say hello how can we help you i'm the one that came to help you say hi are you not doing business again they say we are doing i say i want to buy it's okay just a minute then one person came see when says boy is salesman you know there's trouble and the sense man he's dressing is more than your own you know you can't buy anything in this place the salesman came out says man full man well-dressed mother me you know what i'm selling the in the place you know cufflinks this thing they used to whole that was selling there so i saw it in glass they say yes can i help you say this i want to buy he said good say which one i want i pointed one he said oh this is nice it's ten thousand pounds ten thousand pounds coughlin not shattered as in this thing that we used to hold like the man think i'm considering it he said we have other ones check this out he doesn't know what i'm thinking is how we leave this place now it's what i'm thinking because i enter with confidence how are we going out with humility is that what i'm thinking it's not i'm not i've made up my mind already i she didn't come and save me the man was showing me more i said he's not really more about my mind i'm saying no more i want to see it how i will go i don't know ten thousand pounds how much is that today in naira eh about 700 right now so what do you call it six points six point eight million for coffee so if you if you're coughing six point eight million what are you gonna weight with if i buy that type i won't reaction to i'll just wear only the coffin because you need to ask me what's wrong so i will explain to you that situation i buy all my money has finished no money for it's only coffee and goodbye so coughlin pass we need to find you wife past wife husband pastor husband the different category available i get what i'm saying somebody there are different types available so let's find you what do you want what do you need in a husband or a wife because some husbands have noticed as a counselor some husbands have some people come married somebody else will marry them and be very happy i'm a counselor there are people i've seen they were dating from beginning today they were fighting every day we were settled correct research they now broke up somebody else would just come marry the person tomorrow no one cancelling because there's a better fit there's a better fit somebody you are complaining about somebody will marry that person very happily he said she cannot dress away somebody was okay with it so that's why you must not marry somebody you don't like you are taking on that person's thing that somebody will like then you'll not be calling us to come and be correcting what you don't like some people call me on the phone counseling they say hey pastor hey there's a girl i'm dating and she doesn't wear she doesn't wear earrings she doesn't do her help me tell her i said you saw her sometimes it's the opposite maybe she's even doing here she went earring and the man came from a church they don't women don't wear earrings women don't wear hair she will not embarrass her this guy wants to marry her but tell her i wanted to stop wearing trousers i wanted to stop going here i wanted something i said you saw her the way she was you did and all the guys in your own church that believe what you believe you don't want that one is somebody getting what i'm saying the journey to finding someone is first finding you for me for instance i couldn't marry somebody that didn't have a spiritual foundation i'm not the one that'll be teaching you the bible say the bible say i've never had to tell my wife the bible say a wife submit to your husband never understand we both have already had a spiritual foundation and even they tell her come and serve him and come and join the department in my church you need to serve god no i could never have liked a woman that was not serving in church i can't like you not that other people might like you me i can't like you my job involves service of people if you can't even practice serving people how can we now serve the generation and if somebody gets what i'm saying so my wife was already in children's church in her own church before we met her married i cannot agree i'm not telling you read your bible now you know you have to pray now i mean it can't work it can't work i can't be teaching you that many people you want to marry somebody you know that we're dragging about he doesn't even go to church is convincing him that you know church is good they can't work for me at my level i think somebody will be quoting scripture too i need somebody that no matter what i'm saying we both already know that the foundation for everything we are saying and doing is scripture i don't have to cut it for you i don't know if you're getting what i'm saying sir so you want to convince him that you need to go to church you are still reading malachi 3 to him that the bible says you pray tight really somebody that is robbing god is you you know rob jesus died for him he still can give tight he's you you have never died you think he will serve you i don't know if somebody gets what i'm saying we've never had those kind of discussions in my house that should we pay tight if anything safe we give we we empty our accounts regularly and we have entered our accounting millions it's not it wasn't the discussion no family meeting it was simple honey i think we should give this thing thank you amen go finish and these are these are emptying our accounts in millions in millions for the kingdom not uh for you we even give ten hundred thousand error there's family meeting and you long discussion and argument why it is pastor sitting money it is a we don't know where the money is going all kinds of rubbish argument people argue to find the right person you must first be the right person the wrong person can't find the right person are you here somebody if you want to buy a car who do you go on it's a secondhand car to come back who do you call to help you to look at it you want to buy a car who do you carry to go and check the car out is he a baba is your baba a bad person he's not a baptist but he's not the right person to give you advice on buying a car i don't forget what i'm saying your brother can advise you on haircut but if you want to buy a car it's like a secondhand car to kumbaka you need a mechanic he's equipped so the right person is the one that can make the right choice that's what i'm trying to tell you thank you for the two people clapping there kyle pascal number two don't be desperate you see many people are desperate to marry because they've not even found themselves when you find yourself you know your value something you don't value is what you push out there is nothing value that is easy to valuable that is easy to get there is nothing valuable that is what is it know your value and everybody doesn't have to know your value but you need to know your value nobody will increase your value for you have you ever gone to the market and priced something you said how much is this speaker they say hundred thousand then the person pricing and say can i give you one twenty thousand have you seen it before whenever you call your price what do people do they bring you down nobody increases your value i don't forget what i'm saying nobody increases your value it's you that will hold your own value when you as a woman you are chasing a man you are reducing your value when you are acting desperate he has not even finished talking you have agreed if somebody guess what i'm saying hold your value everybody doesn't have to agree with it i get what i'm saying it is your job to protect your value no need for desperation glory to god if you are vulnerable you won't allow people to drive you because men would be i need to test drive what i want to marry you are not a car you have a soul every sexual relations affect your soul if somebody gets what i'm saying and even in car it's not every car that is drive again like i said i'm a car lover whenever i travel abroad my wife goes shopping me i don't like shopping what i do is i go to car shops and be checking them out inspecting them and the one they allow me to drive i'll just drive there's a way to do it you dress well talk well investigate the car before you go so when you get there say ah is this the gts yes one more than the view it is very but i think they might say yes yes open it he doesn't know what he said this man noticing you open it you sit down start it i like it i like the sound this is one so engine yeah okay good let's test it it was okay let's go because you still look like a serious person don't go there like i said please can i see it they'll drive you so in my journey of enjoying testing cars we've got my car over my caliber so i'll test the cars drive the cars one day i enter a ferrari shop ferrari shop the cheap ones about 250 thousand dollars cheap these smaller ones i entered the shop nobody answered me everybody was doing the awoke i already knew there's a problem because not my shop when i enter somebody's even come to me hello good afternoon can we help you this one i entered nobody will look up their customers are not plenty like that by the time i was calling them you see the reluctance they want on somebody say my brother i want to buy this you buy if you don't i just use my own mind i went home when did he want to say can you tell them to test drive to the drive car people have no answer you i went for one car show in dubai the casual they came to this play card so i was going all around all the cars entering all of them starting it you know which one part i wanted to enter they block it i said it's not casual you're not here to say are you invited are you invited to it they say all their customers have special invites people that come to sidika they stop me when you hold your value people have no choice but to agree with it maintain your value you are valuable come and tell your neighbor you are valuable in case they don't like you say yourself i'm valuable so find yourself find your purpose find god because there's a part of it that god plays see finding a wife or husband is not by power if somebody gets what i'm saying i say it's not by what power when we're young in the lord we used to read proverbs 18 i think verse 22 or so that's a he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains so we assumed that they mean we should go about finding that scripture was largely describing the experience of somebody that has found a wife it wasn't really talking about the process that they used to find their wife if somebody gets what i'm saying but we assume that what they meant was go about finding my brother i've suffered in this the looking for white mata i went around lagos i was appointed scout in different churches all the big churches i had friends there that were scouts i see if you see any fine christian gay born again one or three one coming because i thought the finding matter was a manual finding listen it's not by power it's not by might you can't physically find the right kind of spouse even though yes you must find but it's not by power if you look at proverbs um i think um i can't remember now is 21 also where it says houses and wealth are something you inherit from your father he said but a prudent wife comes from the lord i was surprised he said you can inherit house you can inherit money but said that prudent waifu there is only one authorized dealer that says the lord is somebody getting what i'm saying the bible is a virtuous woman who can find so you can't find it it's not by your hustle yes you must keep your eyes open you must watch and pray but there's a part of god connecting you with that person you see that's how adam found adam was keeping his eyes open but there's a part that god brought eve so god presented her god allowed them to meet even though it was adam that truth finally but god made the connection happen i pray for people here every single under the sound of my voice god will bring divine connection your way you have been finding maybe you are already past the age i decree today by virtue of the anointing there will be divine connection in the name of jesus so it's not by power god is the one that occurs great marriages god is the best matchmaker this insight can never be as good as god are you here somebody all right i will also share a bit from my book who should i marry people ask me that all the time who should i marry good question like i said the process of finding starts with you knowing yourself then knowing the qualities you should look out for when you know the qualities to look out for it's easier to recognize the person when you find them is somebody getting what i'm saying when you know the qualities you are looking for it's easier to recognize the person when you find them do you know why many people have not received what they are praying for they don't even know what they are praying for some of you the answer to your prayer have passed you one day sometimes the other break i even greet you i shake you but because you don't even know what you're looking for and if somebody gets what i'm saying i was in my office one day one lady came to see me this was many years ago so i was younger than this i was very young then the person i came to see pastor kingsley so i was in the reception that day i don't know what i was doing the reception but i was talking to the front desk people so the person came i'm looking positive i said i'm the one can i help you do my say please i'm serious i'm looking for pastor kingsley i said i'm the one i looked younger than that she said look i came from a fair place i'm not here to joke when i saw that she was getting angry i said okay no problem talk to the receptionist so i went inside my office so she filled form they brought the phone to me i said she should come they brought her secretary brother with the phone they opened the door she entered my office she saw me i said i told you i'm still the one here i'm the one why was she shouting she didn't know who she was looking for some of you the answer to your prayer has already passed you before but by virtue of today's auction it will pass you again the difference that this time you will recognize it if you don't know the qualities you are looking for how do you recognize the person when you see them

Channel: Kingsley Okonkwo

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Id: FyINt7licdA

Length: 24min 27sec (1467 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 09 2021