The Kissing Booth Is Netflix's Worst Romance Movie

what's up greg and welcome back to the romance channel where we cover the hottest romance movies known to man when you think of the perfect love story what comes to mind passion lust destiny brothers psychological intimidation gazebos all of those yeah all of them good because today we're talking about the kissing booth i've had this movie recommended to me for a while and i recently sat down to watch it and i gotta say guys i'm pretty confused this movie has a completely normal premise and there's actually nothing wrong with it it's not weird at all guys don't we all have a best friend and don't you and your best friend have a written strict set of rules that you guys follow to maintain your friendship and isn't one of them don't [ __ ] my brother do not have sex with my brother of course so see i don't know what the problem is just don't end up grinding coochies with my brother or i'll literally never talk to you again grinding coochies what the uh all right you know what just for that that's it i am making the video the kissing booth is a bad movie this movie starts off with way too much exposition instead of a normal movie where you sort of naturally learn about the characters as the story progresses the movie decides to just dump the main character l's entire life story on you in like three minutes look at that cute baby that's me elle evans and the smelly less cute baby right next to me that's my best friend lee okay ellen lee are best friends good to know for as long as i can remember lee and i have absolutely loved to dance okay they like dancing at the arcade first christmas i remember i was six i got a barbie dance party we got a scooter broke my leg riding lee's stuff okay lee got a scooter and you broke your leg actually should i be writing this down learned how to ride a bike learned how to swim she knows how to swim i feel like i would have just assumed she knew how to swim not my first bra discovered i liked soccer discovered a way to get to our favorite place to dance okay all right okay okay i think it's too much information right this is there's no way all of this information is necessary right at the beginning of the movie it's not it's almost all unnecessary information actually and by the time i finished watching this intro i felt like i had already watched like 10 movies i still have to watch another movie after this i've watched like three people grow up from being a baby before the movie even starts you watch elle's mom slowly die in the hospital sat with mom in the hospital said goodbye to my mom damn told her all about noah watch no ride his motorcycle for the first time oh hell yeah mom or motorcycle i think we came out all right on that deal did we need to see the mom die did that have to happen they barely reference it in the rest of the movie did they have to just rapid fire through that i guess it gives you a reason in the movie like right off the bat to be rooting for elle because you've seen her go through some hard times i guess later on in the movie if you ever start to feel like she's being an [ __ ] the movie can be like hey well her mom died all right so take it easy with the judging okay pretty much all you need to know from the intro of this movie is that elle and lee are best friends you know because they pretty much have the same letters in their name and l has a crush on lee's older brother noah noah is established as being irrationally angry and violent in the intro as well so what's not to love and that's me today savoring the last fleeting moments this summer at least totally awesome house how do they go through that long ass intro and never once explained why lee lives in like a 50 million dollar mansion in l.a we learned so much we didn't need to know and they don't explain like the very first thing i have a question about when the movie starts hold up why are his parents billionaires we're just supposed to accept that l ends the introduction narration and is like well other than that i'm just a normal girl with some normal friends i know what you're thinking noah flynn is stupid hot lee and i developed a list of friendship rules lee was responsible for rule number nine which specifically states relatives of your best friend are totally off limits so there's those rules i was talking about they have this list of rules that they can never break because they're the things holding their friendship together and one of them is hey do not have any romantic relationship with any of our relatives [Music] what an ass i know hey hey hey rule number nine young lady hey hey hey don't [ __ ] my brother so elle is clearly infatuated with noah right from the start i think we can all see that lee can see that so you might think damn they have just a few rules in their friendship and l is not able to follow them what a jerk and one you haven't even seen the half of it dude if you think this is bad what do you think the rest of this movie's about and two easy with the judging dude all right her mother passed away i do find it interesting that the rule says like no dating either of our relatives this rule was clearly made just to keep l away from noah ells only immediate family in this entire movie is her dad who's like 50 and her brother who was probably like two when they made these rules her mother i don't know if you know this but she unfortunately did pass away so she is not in the picture anymore so did lee propose this rule being like hey so um if you stay away from my brother then i a child won't [ __ ] your dad deal one day while getting ready for school elle rips her pants and has to wear the only other option that the uniform allows which is her skirt which is a little bit too short for her comfort and she ends up getting groped by a jock luckily noah who we've established as being very violent jumps in to beat the [ __ ] out of the job and this sets elle and noah's love story into motion no one should treat a girl like that especially if that girl girl's you me yeah it's like those guys are trying to get in my little sister's pants which is super gross so noah is the main love interest in this story and they start out by establishing that noah sees elle as a little sister to him pretty interesting and i do wonder how they're gonna get around that if he is to be her love interest in this movie so the reason this movie is called kissing booth is because elle and lee run the dance club at their school which they never actually show but i think it just consists of them going to the arcade and playing dance dance revolution which if so is a sick idea for a club but their school is having a carnival and their dance club has to come up with like a fundraiser to do at the carnival okay do you think mia would like this one because i think it makes my eyes pop and i really want to kiss her at this party on friday i really think mia knows who you are she's a varsity cheerleader basically the only way that she'd ever make out with you is if you paid for it [Music] oh [ __ ] i love how they both said at the same time that's such a specific suggestion it's almost as if they they've done this before and they think of kissing booth as like the solution to every problem her mom was in the hospital earlier and else like damn if only we could heal my mom with some kind of kissing booth the doctor's like you two need to get the [ __ ] out of here obviously that was the first thing we tried before elle and noah can get together though we need to find a little bit more out about noah like who is this main love interest we know that he's violent which is awesome but the movie also has to show us how manipulative he is you see it all starts with l exploring some other love options at school for example the man that groped her earlier turns out he wants to go on a date with elle he wants to get her number but he ends up standing her up or so it seemed flynn told me that it wouldn't be smart if i showed up for our day tonight oh sorry al so noah goes by flynn for some reason like all of his friends call him flynn so when they're talking about flynn they're talking about noah just so that makes sense and it's not just me he's been going around telling all the guys not to ask you out for a while now what okay so not only does noah see l as a little sister but he's also like manipulative as hell and scary i'm gonna beat up anyone that talks to you and threaten anyone that looks at you and it's not because i want you it's because i think you're gross you're like a little sister to me babe what [ __ ] now he's gonna kill me you can't tell him i told you why do you care no boobs are worth a broken nose i don't know why that dialogue sounds like it was written by like a 40 year old man hey bud no boobs is worth a broken nose i'll tell you that so she gets so mad that she decides to call noah and like tell him off and he's just like sitting around naked at his desk almost like he was waiting for her to call this man is insane this is an insane man you realize that you're not my dad right look you still got a lot to learn kiddo he calls her kiddo gross lock this man up immediately you still got a lot to learn kiddo like for example how [ __ ] crazy i am you have no idea you have no [ __ ] clue but you're gonna learn today i'm naked baby the flynns are a very controlling family aren't they like and elle's friendship with lee he's made all these rules that he has to follow like don't [ __ ] my brother and now noah has rules like don't [ __ ] anybody else it's an entire family where they're like hey who are you gonna [ __ ] who is that who is that don't [ __ ] him [ __ ] me no don't [ __ ] me that's not allowed so the kissing booth is coming up but elle is having a little bit of trouble getting people to volunteer to work at the kissing booth obviously because that sounds gross as hell need peeps to work our kissing booth you win no thanks i'd rather be a customer not in this lifetime girl never going to happen you're kidding me it seems like she started texting people that don't even go to her school this guy this like bald middle-aged man is that a teacher whoever he is he thinks that it's hysterical that she would even ask she's got abraham lincoln in here frida kahlo this girl has quite the contacts list i do respect abe for his honesty though you know i guess that is what he was known for but i understand his reservations he has not had good luck with booths in the past after a few more uncomfortable scenes of noah protecting elle from herself it's time for the kissing booth since they're short on volunteers when it comes time to actually do the kissing booth l ends up having to step up to the plate and noah our sweet violet noah decides you know what [ __ ] it i'm going in the stars okay so they didn't get around the whole little sister thing cool very cool right on guys rock on they kiss sparks are flying literally like the lights on the signs start exploding it's like this is a moment from stranger things when l is using all her powers lee's like that's why i made the rule you've unleashed his powers no and get this i even wound up kissing your brother what it's it's for charity right yeah just don't end up grinding kuju's with my brother or i'll literally never talk to you again grinding coochies yeah cool man anyways time to run home oh what a lovely day for a run it's only 12 miles and this is a pretty normal thing for someone to do as i ran home i wondered if our kiss meant anything to noah if i meant anything after he physically threatened any mortal man with a vague interest in you and then kissed you so hard that the lights exploded i don't know well i don't really think you're on his radar how about a ride come on shelly you know my mom will kill me if i leave you out here yeah el he's just doing it because his mom would kill him if he didn't so just get on his motorcycle let him take you to his sex gazebo that's right baby noah's got a sex gazebo and apparently he takes a lot of girls there security oh my god why was that initial voice so low security it's like a monster security here you must answer these three riddles or i will eat you is that you flint i thought i told you not to bring girls around here anymore oh is that just noah locked another girl in your fuckshed huh let me guess he made the lights explode for you too all right guys that's enough get out of here so they end up not talking for a while after that ella's pretty pissed because she feels like just another one of noah's hookup girls you know but you guys know noah man you can't stay mad at him for long because he'll find you you know he'll find you you know what you need hmm hot tub come on oh no that's okay warren come on evans it'll be nice no warranty no business come on don't make me back i'm not feeling well lauren i said no warren where the [ __ ] did he come from was he just lurking beneath the sand to jump out make me back ah she said no leave her alone noah is a really confusing character in this movie because they kind of portray him as this like popular guy that gets all the girls whenever he's not talking to l he's like making out with some other girl or chat like talking to the popular cheerleader girls or whatever but he like other than that doesn't seem to have any friends or like a social group the only time he interacts with the other guys in his grade is to threaten them apparently for this entire party before this happens they just show him kind of like lurking alone in a corner until something happens to ellen then he goes goblin mode which apparently she's pretty into oh wait he's getting the car i'll get the car out i mean how can you say no to that after that she takes him back of course and they go up to the hollywood sign to talk and then they grind coochies or whatever how many girls have you made out with in this spot i only come here alone until now uh the hollywood sign at night you guys ever been to the hollywood sign at night great place to make out great place to get eaten by coyotes too i feel like a lot of people don't realize that hollywood signs like in the middle of a nature preserve i think there's like mountain lions and [ __ ] up there a coyote comes out from behind the hollywood sign that's like [ __ ] by the hollywood sign again ah noah this man's got some game all right guys get out of here i'm gonna have to eat your ass i love that his secret spot to come and be alone is the hollywood sign yeah don't worry i know a little place where we can be alone it's called times square well i have a little more privacy up there from there their relationship blossoms they go on dates all over town they're sneaking around trying to make sure lee doesn't catch them nothing to see here just two people with popcorn buckets for heads so ivy league school huh it's not a big deal which school harvard are you [ __ ] me yeah well his parents are billionaires so it's not that amazing they probably just like bought a new building or something you know well it looks like they're doing a pretty good job of not getting caught by lee hey noah have you seen now [ __ ] what's going on in here jesus what happened to your face oh i had an accident and noah offered to help did you do that to her okay i know that noah's violent but like come on did you do that to her yeah dude your friend came over and for no [ __ ] reason i just punched her square in the face and then immediately sat down facing her to start cleaning the wounds hey no no no no it's lee i'm fine i just i tripped in the garage and i was looking for you you really expect me to believe that she just tripped get it clueless no she expects you to believe that she's the one that said it oh you tripped in the garage you expect me to believe that he's like i don't [ __ ] know i dude i wasn't there i swear to god if you laid a hand hey hey stop noah stop i'm digging this kind of like hulk black widow vibe they've got going on here this little stop this isn't you she's like chris pratt in jurassic world with the velociraptors hey hey i raised you from a baby it's me all right calm down you can't be violent if i'm here and you can see that i'm here easy so l takes lee downstairs to talk for a little bit but she doesn't come clean and lee still isn't sure if something is up so when elle sneaks back up into noah's room lee bursts in again and catches them kissing l did you not learn your lesson the first time lee busts in through doors you're in his house it just happened unbelievable wait no lee lee stay stay here please let me handle this kind of feels like i just watched the same scene twice it even ends with her being like hey it's me stay she has no clue what she's gotten yourself ain't she with you this is [ __ ] you were acting like a hurt little [ __ ] i was like i would get off of him if l was here but i can't see her right now but i can't see who's telling me to stop so i'm gonna [ __ ] kill him there's a lot of fallout from this interaction noah like skips town for a few days and ali doesn't want to talk to her anymore eventually noah comes back and instead of coming to see l first he goes to see elle's dad to kind of like ask for advice and ask if it's okay if they date where have you been noah the actor who plays the dad feels like he's from a completely different movie everyone else in this movie are these like beautiful like model actors this guy looks like he's from like a crime drama or something he's a lot more like rough and rugged he's very sour and sad i guess his wife did just die but that's pretty much seems like his entire character he's not even like wearing the same type of clothes as the other characters there's another scene where like all the other adults are wearing these like nice suits and he looks like he just like rolled out of bed everyone else in this movie is like what are we gonna do we gotta not break rule number nine and oh this is so hot and fun and sexy and he's like every night i stare at my reflection and i don't know who i am anymore every time i look into your eyes i see my dead wife i can't say i support the two of you i can't but it's got to be elle's choice the dad's basically like honestly i don't care you're not asking to date me are you i'm basically in my own movie over here so i don't need i don't i don't know why you even came to ask me he looks like a detective in a gritty crime thriller i don't know about you dating l but i am investigating a series of murders that have taken place in a gazebo nearby you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you all right ellen lee eventually make up and become friends again but l doesn't want to take noah back because it's just made everything so complicated in their friendship why should i because i love you i love you al i mean you're my little sis how could i not so noah decides okay elle doesn't want me anymore i'm just gonna leave for college tonight i'm gonna head there right now but elle decides she wants to make up with him and at their big summer birthday bash that's like a costume party lee finally comes around and decides you know what you can date him fine he's going away to college you'll probably never see him again anyway so sure i'll allow it now i have to find him uh like now it's okay i'll help you find them okay meet your son five so ellen lee set off to go find noah thank you for doing this by the way gotta find him and tell him how i feel you just said oh my god what did you do to lee you monster also how long have they been in the car i swear they've been in the car for like five minutes how did she not notice was he just sitting there silently the whole time and he's like eight feet tall how did she not notice i'm just trying to picture this so elle gets in the car noah's already sitting there completely silent in a batman costume they pull out he says nothing he's just sitting there something doesn't add up and by something i mean the whole movie anyways the movie ends with him going to college yeah he doesn't stick around he just goes to college and that's how the movie ends doesn't that suck they don't even get to go on like a real date as a real couple he just goes to college and then the movie ends all right well that concludes our time together today you guys thank you for joining me i hope you enjoyed this video and if you're new here and you're not subscribed yet make sure you subscribe and turn on my notifications to join greg greg is what i call my subscribers on youtube so if you want to join greg just hit that subscribe button and hit that notification button and then before you know it your name will be legally changed to greg all right i'll see you guys next time thank you bye

Channel: Danny Gonzalez

Views: 8,138,130

Keywords: danny gonzalez, funny, commentary, comedy, react, reaction, reacting, awful, humor

Id: KXDWjYWlqpQ

Length: 19min 50sec (1190 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 19 2022