Oh, Inspector Gadget. And I want to say Supreme Court Justice
Ruth Bader Ginsburg. So close. Kooth Bader Ginsburg.
(chuckles) The Notorious KBG. That's very clever. Sustained. Are you gonna dress in drag
in front of your fiance? Yeah. We have no secrets
from each other. Well, except for the fact
I-I crocheted this myself. Hey, Sheldon. Hello.
Hello. Oh, my God, you look amazing. KOOTHRAPPALI:
I find you guilty of murder, because you are killing it. (imitating Sheldon):
Well, technically, the Supreme Court wouldt
determine a defendant's guilt or innocence
in a criminal matter. They could only reverse
or revamp a jury's conviction based on a constitutionl
or statutory issue. (both laughing) Why are you laughing? His statement
was factually correct. (both laughing) You're sitting in my spot. You don't have a spot. What is wrong with you ?
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Maybe he's cranky because he's off
his bathroom schedule. Well, I can understand how that
would make someone irritatable. Interesting fact: "irritable"
comes from the Latin, "susceptible to anger." Just because I used a word doesn't mean
I want its etymology. Interesting fact:
"etymology" comes from the
Greek word... You are being so annoying.
Stop it. And why are you two laughing? (chuckles)
Sheldon, he's being you. He's dressed as you
for Halloween. Oh. So you're not
laughing at him. You're laughing at me. We're not laughing at you. We're laughing with you. But I'm not laughing. Then the first one. (female #1)
'Sheldon.' 'Sheldon.' Hmm. [electricity crackling] Alright, alright. I see what's going on. A little pre-Halloween
hijinkery. [woman laughing] A ghostly moan a rattling of chains a witch's cackle. Trifecta of
haunted house cliches. Instead of "Eek,"
I say, "Yawn." 'Sheldon..' Oh, the walls
are dripping blood which looks nothing like
a phenolphthalein indicactor exposed to a
sodium carbonate solution. "See you in hell Sheldon" The most frightening thing about
that is the missing comma. Ah! Okay, alright. That one was clever. Skeleton with phosphoros
on a zip line. Come on out,
merry pranksters. Take a bow. [laughing] You should've seen your face. Yes, there's
nothing quite like the slightly widened eyes
of mildly startled. Come on, admit it.
We got you, Sheldon. Please, fright depends
on an element of surprise. The simple fact is because I am much
smarter than you and able to anticipate your
actions, it is highly unlikely that you two rubes
could ever surprise me. He's probably right. We can't beat him.
He's just too smart. Gentlemen. Aah! [laughing] Who had money on "Faint" Uh, I had "Pee his pants" Hang on. Looks like everyone's
a winner. (Leonard)
'I'll get it!' [imitates whooshing] Oh, no. (Sheldon)
Oh, no! Make way
for the fastest man alive! Oh, no! See, this is why
I wanted to have a costume meeting. We all have other costumes.
We can change. Or we could walk right
behind each other all night. It'll look like one person
going really fast. No, no, no. It's a boy-girl party. This Flash runs solo. Uh, okay, how about this? Nobody gets to be The Flash. We all change. Agreed? (in unison)
Agreed. I call Frodo! (in unison)
Damn! [knocking on door] Hey. S-sorry I'm late, but my hammer got stuck in the door
on the bus. - You went with Thor?
- What? Just because I'm Indian
I can't be a Norse God? (Indian accent)
No, no, no,
Raj has to be an Indian god. That's racism. I mean look at Wolowitz.
He's not English. But he's dressed like Peter Pan. Sheldon is neither
sound nor light but he's obviously
the Doppler effect. I'm not Peter Pan. - I'm Robin Hood.
- Really? Because I saw Peter Pan,
and you're dressed exactly like Cathy Rigby. She was a little bigger
than you but it's basically
the same look, man. Hey, Sheldon, there's something
I wanna talk to you about before we go to to the
party. I don't care if anybody gets it. I'm going as the Doppler effect. No, it's not that. If I have to, I can demonstrate. Neow! Hello. So what are you
supposed to be? Me? I'll give you a hint. Neow! [chuckles]
A choo-choo train? Close! Neow! A brain damaged choo-choo train? How wasted am I? [song continues] Neow! I still don't get it. - I'm the Doppler effect.
- Okay. If that's some sort
of learning disability I think it's very insensitive. Why don't you just tell people
you're a zebra? Why don't you just tell people
you're one of the seven dwarves? Because I'm Frodo. Yes, well,
I'm the Doppler effect. What's going on,
day dwellers? Oh, man, did the Kiss Army
repeal "don't ask, don't tell" ? No. Raj and I are going to
a goth club in Hollywood to hang with the
night people. Anybody want to come along? Oh, wow, you're actually
going out like that? No, no. I'm going out like this. Howard, what did you do? They're called tattoo sleeves. Look. I bought them online. Raj got a set, too. Fantastic, right? Put them on, have hot sex
with some freaky girl with her business pierced,
take them off, and I can still be burid
in a Jewish cemetery. You know, I've always wanted to go to a goth nightclub. Really? Bazinga! None of you ever see my
practical jokes coming, do you? I don't believe this. [sighs] [yelling] Bazinga, punk.
Now we're even. I don't know about you,
but I feel empowered. At this moment, we are, in fact a "Star Trek" landing party you know, stranded in alien
and unforgiving environment. ...relying only on our wits,
our fortitude and our moxie. As long as we have thos things
nothing can stop-- (male #1)
'Nerds!' [gasps] I hate this planet. [indistinct chatter] Hello. Hello. Uh, uh, uh, four glasses
of water, please. Anything for you guys? Can I use your phone?
Our car got stolen. Why don't you ask Scotty
to beam you up? [all laughing] Scotty was on the
original series and we're "Next Generation" So...joke's on you. What are you doing? We're going
to be late. I'm pacing nervously. You're jogging. This is how the
Flash paces. Just chill out, Sheldon. I'm not Sheldon.
I'm the Flash. And now I'm going
to the Grand Canyon to scream in frustration. I'm back. (in gravelly voice)
I'm Batman. Oh, I hardly think so. The real caped crusader calls
his crime-fighting cohorts when he's running late. I had to walk. I couldn't get Raj
on the back of my scooter. I've said this before,
and I'll say it again. Aquaman sucks. Look up in the sky.
It's a bird. It's a plane. I forget the rest. All right. Let's get
this thing over with. I'm sorry. But in what universe
is Wonder Woman blonde? Relax. No one's going to
be looking at her hair. Ow! I mean, (in gravelly voice)
ow. Hold on. The costume came with a black wig.
Where is it, babe? No. I'm not wearing
it. It looks stupid. Come on. We're trying
to win a contest here. Forget it. I'm not
wearing the wig. Honey, there's no "I"
in "Justice League." Well, actually... Don't.
He's making our case. Okay, babe. Uh... Kind of embarrassing me
in front of my friends. Okay.
You know what? I changed my mind.
I'm not going. Looks like someone
else is going to have to be Wonder Woman. Babe, open up. PENNY:
I'm not talking to you. Then who are you talkin to? Babe? Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny,
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny,
Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny Penny, Penny... What the hell
is wrong with you? I'm the Flash. I just knocked 30,000 times. Okay. What do you
want, Sheldon? I understand
why you're upset. Really? Yes. You're afraid that costume
makes you look fat. No. Wh-What... Does it?
(stammers) Don't worry. Wonder Woman
was an Amazon. And Amazons tend to
be very beefy gals. Good-bye, Sheldon. But they're not blonde,
so put on your wig. Hello? What are you all staring at? You ever seen a man
try to get a meeting with Stephen Hawking before? [all laughing] [rock music on speaker] Oh, my God,
you guys look adorable! Thanks, so do you. - Slutty cop?
- No, sexy cop. Slutty cop only came
with a skirt and two badges. And Albert Einstein? Ja, und later
she's going to arrest me for goink fashter
zen da shpeed of light. I thought we said
in the car, no accents? Sorry, Officer. Hello! - It's a great party!
- Thank you! The monster foods,
they're really fun. Oh, yes, thank you. I like to think of fun things like that because I'm fun. I'm not clinically
depressed at all. Sheldon, get in here! [music continues on spe] I should've picked hickie. Hey, hey, look at you guys! I'm Raggedy Ann,
and he's Raggedy C-3PO. It was a compromise.
I lost. Can you believe
Stuart's walking around taking credit for this party? - Who cares?
- What do you mean "Who cares" Look at what I
pulled off here. The-the deejay's on fire there's a Tardis photo booth
in the back room and, oh, my God, the food! Stuart wanted Kraft
Draculoni and cheese. You're right, the partys
fantastic. Please, tell me more I haven't heard enough
about it all week because hearing about that
never gets old! Is this about the
space thing again? Well, I'm not allowed
to talk about it but since you brought it up,
I went to space! Space, space, space! Whoa, Drinky Smurf. Can I talk to you for a second? Great, now I'm in trouble. You happy? Please enjoy
these highlights. (Australian accent):
Crikey! What flag
do we have today? (Australian accent):
Australia, mate! Say, Betsy Ross,
what you working on? (high-pitched):
I have no idea. Because the story of me
sewing the first American flag is unsupported
poppycock. Then who did sew it, hm? Don't ask me. I'm just a simple seamstress
whose descendants are... (normal voice):
out to make a quick buck! (old-timey music playin) Fancy a dip, my dear? I do. [Bavarian music playing] Guten Tag, das YouTube. Ich bin ein Bavarian. Und ich bin eine a pretzel! Und dis is
Sheldon Cooper Presents. - Fun..
- Mit..
- Flags. I believe our relationsp
now is stronger than ever. So do I. When-when we were apart, I learned how important
you are to me. And I realize that when two people are
in love, sometimes they. BOTH:
Happy Valentine's Day! (whooping) We are young and fun! (horn honking) I stand corrected. Fun. Bernie, I'm home. You have fun today? (Bernadette)
'Yes, and I have
a surprise for you.' Please be Cinderella.
Please be Cinderella. Well, hello, Prince Charming. Milady. [knocking on door] Hey, how was your.. What? I can explain. I played hooky with the girls then we all went
to Disneyland and got.. What are you doing? Disneyland. Go on,
I'm listening. Sheldon, all Snow White needs is one little kiss to wake up. Heard you the first time. Worst. Renaissance. Fair. Ever. Please let it go, Sheldon. It was rife with
historical inaccuracies. For example, the tavern girl
serving flagons of mead. Now, her costume
was obviously Germanic. But in 1487,
the Bavarian purity law, or "Reinheitsgebot," severely limited
the availability of mead. At best, they would have
some sort of spiced wine. You're nitpicking. Oh, really? Well, here's another nit
for you: the flagons would not have been made
of polypropylene. Renaissance fairs aren't
about historical accuracy. They're about taking chubby
girls who work at Kinkos and lacing them up
in corsets so tight their bosom jumps out
and says, "Howdy." Bosoms would not have said
"howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they
would've said, "Huzzah." I don't care what the
bosoms say, Sheldon. I just want to be part
of the conversation. Hi, guys. Looks like you've been
to the renaissance fair. I'm hoping. Renaissance fair? More of a medieval, slash,
Age of Enlightenment, slash, any-excuse-
to-wear-a-codpiece fair. Okay, fine, whatever. You guys, this is
my friend Eric. Hello.
Hi.
Hey. So, yeah, good to see you. Yeah. Yeah. It's good to
see you, too. We should probably go. Bye, guys. I like your hat. Thanks, my mom made it. (Howard)
'Hey, Bernie, guess what' 'I stood up to the other
astronauts like you said' 'and I got to tell you
last night was the first time' 'in a week I got
a good night's sleep.' [laughing] Oh, Howie. What's wrong? You look upset. Nope, this is my proud face . KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hey. LEONARD: Oh,
that's great. He's a Supreme Court justice, and you're the
U.S. Constitution. Yep. He interprets me. And guess what's
underneath this? The Bill of Tights. Smart, funny, gorgeous--
are we a match or what? Hey, Bert,
what are you dressed as? I'll give you a hint. My work in seismic refraction
measurements and... Hey, Stuart,
what are you dressed as? I'm a butterfly. Did you steal those from
Halley's "let's pretend box"? I'm gonna put them back. All right, I'll tell you. I'm Maurice "Doc" Ewing. Winner
of the 1960 Vetlesen Prize, generally regarded
as the Nobel Prize of geology. Oh, yeah. Now I see it. Ask me how I died. Spoiler alert: brain hemorrage. (Cockney accent):
Well, Gorblimey. You look
like a thousand tuppens. Don't he, Mary Poppins? Are you gonna talk
like that all night? Jip willikers, I am. Isn't he cute? He's gonna get a
spoonful of sugar later. And I'm gonna sweep
Ms. Poppins' chimney. (honks) So, here we are. On Halloween.
On this couch. Does it ring any bells? Really? We're still doing this? I'm just surprised you dont
remember our first kiss. (sighs) Fine.
It was on Halloween. Are you agreeing
just to shut me up? You got another way?
I'm all ears. Really? An arranged marriage?
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Yeah. I know how it sounds. It sounds awesome. Is that just an Indian thing, or can I get a piece of that? You know the woman
has a choice, right? There's always a catch. What do you think you're doing? I thought it was clear. I'm being unnecessarily hurtful
but with a sweet voice. And I don't understand
what's going on because I went to MIT. Okay, guys, I think
that's enough. Hold on. I'm
the judge here, and I'm going to allow it. Raj, take a break. Hey, free speech. Right back there
somewhere. WOLOWITZ: You
know what, guys? You got us. Congratulations.
Now why don't you go back to your apartment and put
on your other costumes. Oh, but it's so far away, and I have such
teeny, tiny legs. Really? Our bodies?
Is that where we're going Amy? (normal voice):
What's wrong with my body? Well, for starters,
you have a quarter in your nose. AMY:
Not now, Sheldon. I don't get invited
to a lot of parties. Is this a good one? Oh, yeah.
