The best of KARL PILKINGTON idiot abroad (S1)

[Music] see out of all the places this is the place that i'm worried about the most why just the way they live they're different chinese people they just wreck everything they make everything weird that's what i'm worried about everything chicken why is it orange in chinatown just the slightest thing the chicken is orange eat anything no i mean octopus toad he just made that one out the way they write the letters are weird their alphabet's not like ours there's like like someone testing out a biro everything's there's no logic to anything that they do very very of course there's a logic to it when they read a book it's all the other way around from back to front instead from front to back and up and down and everything that we've done they've gone right we're going to do it weirder that's how it comes across just just give us a second just give us a sec [Music] you are kidding me [Music] you seen this you seen the things there's no doors or anything as soon as you open the door you could just get a full view of someone i mean if it was here it's more understandable than it because you'd be sat here and at least people come in and you'd sort of go i'm in this one but it's a bit weird to just sort of wander in and i mean they've made this bit why don't i just finish it off and put a door on it they've done the hard bit a couple of hinges on the door and there's no toilet paper what did they do here they just pull up the pants and walk off is that is that what you do i'm not here to say they should be using toilet paper it's not right if that's not what they do that's not what they do but it's just i didn't know that i didn't think china was going to be like this i thought it was going to be more like i said i thought it was where they've made the ipod i think i've got the wrong place because this this ain't a place where they need an ipod have a toilet roll first i mean it's weird because whenever you buy stuff like that toilet roll loads and stuff it says made in china why aren't they [ __ ] using them then that's all didn't it so he's got to leave the house he's got to go do a feel like one today i might do i've had a bit of a dicky belly i best get my seat everyone who's is walking past knows he's gonna have a [ __ ] at some point today i wouldn't like that what's the rush it's been here for four thousand years what's he doing oh my gosh this is mental just a lot of uh a lot of [ __ ] you don't normally see any of this do you you don't see that many buses there it looks like it's sat in the middle of like a nice desert but it isn't is it it's just a building site i'm half tempted to ask ferrarda i mean it's not even bits of old pyramid is it you've got all sorts of you got bricks here from like council houses and that it's literally just uh people have brought up [ __ ] and dumped it here thanks from our planet the apes isn't it baron [Music] it's like a little tornado yeah you don't see that in the brochure do you old nappy whizzing through the air i tend to leave that out you see i've always wanted to see a tornado that that that is on my wish list before i die because it's natural it's a natural thing that i don't understand [Music] if that was like a little housing estate you'd go yeah any will do they all the same size the design actually is a bit odd in it because because the square footage the floor size is massive but the upstairs bit is tiny yeah i'm not going to change your mind i'm not going to come here and say you know it's it's all right but it's not that amazing is it's like telling someone that the kids ugly it doesn't matter how ugly that kid is that the mum and dad love it to bits and i didn't want to say but when i was looking up i thought the chin looks a bit big it's like that all the rest of it is brilliant the proportions his arms and that his body but they just need to chip away a bit more i reckon at the chin to be sort of jimmy illish say if i get back home and someone says you've seen the christ redeem oh yeah and they go what what what's it like i probably just say it's like it's like a big ornament do you know what i mean it's like something new me and inaura would have sort of next to the telly but i'd say if you're going to come up here it's not about that it's about that lot it's about coming up here and seeing all all of you there knock that down you still get a crowd coming up here you could stick anything there stick a cafe there and people would come up here you can charge as much as you like because you got nowhere else to go you're trapped you're in a thirst charge about four quid for a can of coke the only mistake i made is i said like he had a chin like jimmy il and after that people told me it's not his chin it's his beard they don't look like a beard so they could have just done with chipping a bit more out but make it look a bit more airy [Music] well saying that there's so many sort of flying ants around there i imagine the workers going i've had enough of this does that look like a beard yeah it does bob let's go not hanging around here that ruined it a bit i don't know why there's so many flying ants up there i don't shouldn't have wings i mean when you see him walking they're all over the place they sort of go forwards and then come back expect the same path and shoot off over there and come back again if they're not good at walking they're going to be useless with wings all right mate how's it going um good well you're heading upstream we've arranged for you to visit um a little village um the locals there are expecting you um and you should know to be extra polite because they used to be cannibals that's true all right see you later come on not a holiday all right is he having a laugh what does he mean there used to be cannibals what are they doing now then what happens if it's just i'm like a rare delicacy that triggers something off i know i'm not a white man for years before you know it they're all giving it all this so you know you round the fire me sat in a pot [Music] all right didn't wave back so that's they don't know what that means or they hate me already i don't know nothing nothing again i'm not doing it again it's embarrassing it's like asking someone's name three times and not hearing them are they smiling even this is proper isn't it this is like proper tribe oh [ __ ] i've just seen me what a knob and i look [Music] what a way for them to see me [Music] this are they up there oh they're all watching as well stairs here you think you would have sorted this out for me if they knew was [Music] coming do i want the bags yet all right okay he's glad to see the back of us and he see you then kim he can't get out of here quick enough he knows more than i do obviously look at him not hanging about no waving raymond raymond anyone watching it homie does do tours [Music] hello how are you doing hello yeah hey hey hi how are you doing how do you say hello again hello the chief around presidente all the attention that's one of the reasons i got married all that fo everyone's looking at me you know where to look women now we're now on stuff it's like what's going on all right what's he saying aldo i'm coming here ricky and steve my friends asked me to stay here on the way to machu picchu i've just been explaining to um a fella here that i'm on my way to machu picchu need somewhere to sleep on my way i'm gonna i'm gonna be staying here in a tent all right let's all uh let's get on with it we've all got stuff to do [Music] there's a woman with an axe right um and she's not dre wearing the stuff it's like she didn't want to join in he's mad in it no matter where you live there's a nutter whether it's on a council estate in manchester london in the jungle there's always one in who doesn't want to join in swinging an axe about [Music] doesn't make sense though because these things are living in look like bungalows well what's the point if you've got to keep doing this you might as well have house with stairs a bit more pleasant [Music] i don't get it why don't they just want to rest they've been walking up there with all these bags out of breath and now they're wasting breath just making a racket i mean that doesn't even sound nice to me that's not relaxing they're all doing their own thing i mean i've had i had a cassette of pure moods like pan pipe stuff used to sort of make a bit of a romantic evening didn't sound like that and there certainly wasn't a rat involved [Music] god fell out i'm gonna keep walking all right enjoy your dinner little drink of tequila to smoothen your muscles and give you a little bit of strength one kind of tequila they put worms in it and it's a very nice thing to offer the warmth to the guests what is wrong with you people may we plead just piss ass and about on bulls drinking worms i've been wrestling i've only been here about three days it's like everyone's daring each other to do something stupid get on a cow get on a ball yeah let's have a wrestle eat a worm you know what i mean it's just it's never ending it's just actually for us this is normal man i know that's what's frightening do you chew or do you just swallow of course you chew and you try to figure out the flavor and everything all right here we go we're still in there oh gosh [ __ ] hell man i don't bend over because i'm going to be sick right okay let's let's jump inside [Music] [Laughter] get him pissed up stick him on a ball if anything happens you just see this isn't this isn't helping eugene you know seeing i've got to suddenly jump out of the way [Music] [ __ ] look [ __ ] i'm not going out there no see jamie i can't there's no way look pack it in keep it shut see what's that he's got it's for handling the right exactly no no no [ __ ] hell away [Music] just let me go home jesus christ [ __ ] help what was that start winding me up now seriously right enough sun off come on come out no chance carl get it come back man carl it's your turn no i'll leave it seriously i've ridden a horse i've had a drink i've eaten a worm carl come back no load of bees here he's anywhere safe [Music] what's the clapping thing about yeah it's just oh now i'm hearing it it's like a buying buying is that maybe doing that just fluke though in it that that can't be whoever designed that didn't say to the builder right listen i need some sort of structure some sort of platform that we can cut heads off we want the head to roll down and then just at the bottom something where i clap and it sort of bounces back they wouldn't that just wouldn't be on the to-do list [Applause] is that i mean who you know is that what they really wanted this to be like when they built it this wonder a wonder of the world you see though look everybody loves it it gets a bigger crowd than the wonder now because people go what's going on elsie oh no get the camera out i think they're dying okay now she's still alive let's move on yeah ambulance now i prefer to get out of here now i feel like i've seen it i've had a bit of a lesson with this it's been all right it's not been my favorite bit of mexico if i'm honest a lot more people flogging [ __ ] i'm half tempted just to sort of fall over like that woman get a lift home [Applause] [Music] nothing's ever easy is it you know steve said he sorted me out with a lift to get back to the hotel well that's nice of him and then this lot turned up [Applause] i want to go around this car or another car every day and make people happy why not this is what we do in traffic now we're nice on the flats in that but doing that is dangerous and there's enough danger here you know with you know bombs going off or blokes walking out with guns i don't need to add more danger to my little trip by dancing about in a busy road you know how many miles we're gaining right now we could be saving we're saving lives right now somebody that was maybe depressed he wanted to commit suicide now he's smiling now he doesn't want she's not smiling ask me a sticker from this sticker yeah she's terrified she's terrified she's going for god's sake all right the lights are changing lights lights lights you know i mean i might as well have got on a bus you know at least the bus has less stops than they do i mean every hundred yards they were getting out and having to dance huh yes come on with us come on with us just come on two minutes two minutes this is the most dangerous place [Music] yeah i felt a bit bad about jumping out and lagging it but i don't like dancing do i you know i don't dance at weddings so i'm not going to start doing it on a dual carriageway i mean you're right is that there is a lot of misery in the world well that doesn't help me that's making me worse they're causing all that flipping you know what i mean someone's trying to get to hospital the ground's dying they're in the road here get out the [ __ ] road right yeah i can't even go in it that's ridiculous i mean that's that's useless in it who's put them there that's i mean look but my point is you're sat in there and that's your view over there if you look here point proven you're better off living in the old looking at the palace than living in the palace looking at the hole aren't you so ricky and steve can say my knob i think that's my point proven in it [Music] but i wasn't just talking about buildings i mean in life even being a good-looking person or an ugly one in a way you're better off being the ugly one and you get to look at nice things you're looking at the nicer looking people doesn't matter about being ugly how often do you look at yourself anyway same thing be the ugly one look at the nice one what's that who owns that why is the dog so high up it's not gonna show up that dog is it oh [ __ ] me jesus [Music] what's this in the guardian guardian guy pick of the day all right pick of the day this this will be a good review then you can see this ball-achingly dull series have you ever as your balls ever ate from watching the program have you ever watched a program and gone don't know if i'm enjoying this but we're boulder raking i hate it this is the dullest thing oh i'm gone it doesn't i don't know what that means his balls are aching because the series is that dull if tv that he doesn't like makes his balls ache why is it why don't you turn it off quicker you must get a twinge and go certain things i've learned tell us what have you learned i learned that babies in china a lot of them are square heads right go on is this can we look at this clip it's a big lad where about you has it got square head quick i can't tell yeah but why do they have square ends i asked some questions and the main answer seemed to be so they don't roll out the cop no no no way how do they make sure their baby gets a square head they somehow they stick a buck to the back of its head when it's born when you're born you bet your head's soft that's right yeah did your mum strap a dinner plate to your head when you're a kid yeah what a ladle but i didn't get all the ins and outs and this is what i'm saying why does that that doesn't stop them rolling out the car if you've got a square egg it's not like they couldn't roll out babies heads remember your head is quite big as a baby right the body's the body's sort of like that and he said he's trying to roll and he can't because he's like that and then it's attractive apparently what do you mean again do it do it again the baby's in the cot like that and it would wanna sort of so try and roll the head just go like that yeah so now do it with this ground how is it stopping it i don't understand so because it's kind of going you can't roll what shape is a wheel round oh [ __ ] me you are the strangest man on the planet you've been to china thank you guys done

Channel: PonderPond

Views: 3,776,592

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Id: ew71_5qKbUU

Length: 24min 32sec (1472 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 11 2020