The Ricky Gervais Show Cartoon Funny Moments High Quality | Volume 1

now you probably know me from such works as the office and extras Steven being my co-writer and co-director on those things for those people who are not so aware of karl Pilkington he was our producer sort of given to us when we first started on XFM and you're thinking what why we doing a podcast it's because I'd like to be in a room with karl Pilkington you know like some people go and help sort of chimps little bald man world and karl Pilkington is is an ongoing experiment for me because I've seen him blossom from an idiot into an embassy looking at look at that he's got a perfectly round head and that's why I'm doing this some podcast Karl what do you think of all this um it's just I mean we are living in that sort of area now we're like you need to yeah listen to stuff on demand when you want it and stuff I know you're not a fan of the iPod in general are you or any of the mp3 things you're concerned I'm warming to it but this is what's amazing look I even though he's talking about things like mp3 players computers iPods he sounds like he's he was found in a glacier and and thawed out taut yes we're a couple of high school guys which one ingratiate him in the gang trying to pass him off with someone from the mob day my thing with with iPods is now do we need them I mean we're living in the era now where we have invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about they said that in 1900 someone actually said everything that's to be invented has already been invented they said that in 1900 were they know what came out at what point what was invented in that year where they went right that's it now the 20th century think what happened in the 20th century the one well planes yeah but is that a good thing planes and that do you need so do you need a plane really well it'd have been better if we all stuck where we should be instead of traveling about whoa what was Wars happening in it because everyone's saying well now we can fly we'll go over there so there were no wars prior to the invention of the airplane not like not like there is today right well what I'm saying is the more that the world's got smaller on it everyone saying that oh yeah uh you know the way I was saying to you the other day you know we now go to places where we shouldn't go people go on holiday to places where you've got of an injection before you go there yeah forget it I don't want to enter a country where I have to have an injection to stop me from dying while I'm in that country that's totally agree with you on that so what happened is so they invented the plane and it's like oh let's go on holiday and then they go the dyno oh well you've got to invent some let's invent an injection and then it's like right what else do we need to go to that place there's a lot of faffing why I'm saying is you know Steve's traveled more than I have you been to like dangerous places in two places where you need injections yep yeah but why cuz it's fascinating isn't it you know don't believe in the idea of travel broadens the mind you know it makes you experience other ways of life other ways of thinking it just enriches you as a human being that's the whole reason people go travelling for since the invention of the telly you don't have to go that far to say right Rick is that time again it's what everyone's waiting for can you do the jingle voice Oh chimpanzee that monkey news this week the monkey news is about you know we all know like you know these monkeys knocking about they're unhappy right yes country surely it is a big problem it's an epidemic so they've set up like this this place okay where the old go was the ones that aren't a pianist Ian what are you getting them down and they can phone a number and they'll come and pick them up pop them in this this house place right and basically they they can run right in there yeah figure freedom to sort of cheer themselves up it's three people running this place right so these monkeys pig out and Jim one of them what it's a mess about with the woman's breasts which woman's breasts the woman who works there run right and she was like right pack it in you know we've got a bit of fun Jim and everything should obviously you know got a bit excited by it was fired up and that ready for some more action that she's table go she's like no you're not doing that tuck it in no the boss is running the place was like come on no right you're talking chase so anyway right so he's there any so the bosses yeah say yeah the boss Hussein lady mother come on Rita if monkey wants to play wit knit balls let him so she's like I'm not happy with this and he's going come on you know the rules there we've got to cheer these monkeys off no and in the end because she didn't allow it to happen the fella blokes actor got someone else in I want to see the advert he put in The Guardian media page I love that a woman wanted to let Jim feel tit whenever it was you're talking absolute [ __ ] again that is no way that happened another email here it's an interesting fact I'm hoping it's true America's first nudist organization apparently was founded in 1929 by three men now what he treated me when I read that is the fact that it's clearly three blokes just trying to meet some nude women they're all 52 sighs gold rimmed glasses yeah yeah and they're just wandering around and it's all quite soggy down there and they're just not gonna understand we're just a fan organization it's perfectly aboveboard Biagio but it's an it's a nudist organization you got any women in there that want to come and join us got any women they're interested in you know volleyball or you hate nudists a nudist I don't understand what or it's all about the end of the day and here's something right do you know like when you're a bloke nudists mmm do you ever get any you just have like a small knob I don't know I don't understand the cost of that what's your point well you know are there any blokes who knocking about you just have a a normal-sized knob or maybe a bit small and they're normal who were happy wandering about showing off what what they haven't got if you know I mean I don't think nudists just do it because they're so proud of their not know but there's got to be a little bit of that in it anything just saying most blokes who you know nudists hmm they must be pretty confident in themselves that's what I'm saying what do you mean this is what Carl takes a sneaky look at the men's [ __ ] stop no what I'm saying is no it's happening you show you were in a gym no a lot of guys are getting changed you know just your bedroom window with a pair of binoculars no and there was a little fellow across the road I was young I was that some night out once go on so you're a heaven and you were in in the toilet some night out and some some people come right on the stage like some music started coming on and these four people run out is two women say shoot them it wasn't gay in that which is a normal night at one you know some sort of party night out these these people come running on time you got two women you got two blokes right the wittman ich is off the fellows whip their undies off at the same time a choreographed thing that happened and all I'm saying is right before we had to look up the woman's bits right I just had a little cheeky glance at the fellas why why checking it out just seeing is everything normal down your eyes drawn instantly to the latest bits I know I believe me I had a look at that all I'm saying to the guys first just just kinda now long times we're gonna be left off for to see some bits of u58 a cure no cuz this may never happen again so you there's there's two women two men right I don't know what sort of event this is where you're looking at anyone get their knickers and pants up I don't know why you're looking at all so you go we go right there's knickers and pants off right let's check out the the knob and testicles first you're telling me you've never liked when you've been in a gym or anything you've not just sort of turn your head a door lock and go all right yeah so let's just get this question right have we ever been in a gym and just taken as sneaky glanced at a man's genitals it's like your question to us right for me it's the same as when you see someone who's a bit odd to EDS or if I was in the gym and a bloke came in with two heads I'd look what I try I'd get a sneaky glance in the mirror I'd go sorry you'd look at his genitals or his two heads would you sneak a look at the hesitant if he's got two [ __ ] I'll tell you what I'm now I admit it if I'm ever in a gin and a naked man with two heads walks in I probably will check out the generals as well just to make sure that he's got do it every day can I tell you the thing that always freaks me out I do sometimes go to the gym and I live in North London and the thing that always freaks me out is if there's a elderly man often quite short I'm always freaked out because there's at least two I'm aware of we've got very very large penises and I always find that really disturbing because like sometimes you can't you know you can't help but notice because it's like Godzilla coming through I do admit that's the only instance where my eye is been naturally drawn to do you know what annoys me in gyms where people walk around happily naked all the time whistling they get wide naked pop a towel on and take off three ounces how exact of those measurements got to be yeah Joey pop a towel on I mean unless you're cooking on the space shuttle you could give or take a couple of yeah yeah absolutely right well we've we've put that to bed now everyone knows over the past or like few years my big pet project hasn't been my own career it's been get Carl famous yep I want people to recognize him in the street come up to him and say you bald-headed Manc [ __ ] let me tell you now Rick I've been out and about and a lot people have come up to me and said it has karl Pilkington got a head like a [ __ ] orange whoa I'd like to instantly confirm the answer to be yes but he's at a call he had a call recently from a film company asking him if he's got any ideas for movies now how desperate in what dire straits must the British film industry be that they're going we need karl Pilkington we have hit rock bottom and he went along for an interview so what and you went in and you when I went along and had a meeting and they just said right you know got any ideas and sort says you know what what you thinking what sort of thing are you after after action thriller whatever I love that is precious what do you need yeah yeah I'm can poke at the movie doctor what do you need the bus so thought of this idea sort of on the spot good always how I am no but sometimes that's how glue ideas come up yeah just a lot of yours have come up yeah no but when if you just talk I find that your mouth comes out with stuff that to me is Stan's along with what were those things in gremlins called no but well I mean if you sit there and try and use your brain to do it right it doesn't work the same just just keep talking just keep you keep your mouth talking and eventually it will come out with something pretty good that is exactly what Plato said well Aristotle we said sit down I've got an idea for you Aristotle said Plato I just keep talking and eventually your brain will come out with stuff so I just started off by saying the was in all right and the people you know you seen into their lives from like the morning yeah it's like a nice sunny day yeah radio was on you know they're going about the day they're having the breakfast to say no what we're doing tonight anything you know they've got a nice life mm-hmm she's like love you and all that yeah he walks out the house gets hit by a bus oh so Clive Warren's their dad I don't know if Clive Warren to take that part because he has not much to do I know I know if I never if I know Clive Warren I think you do I think I do I carry on so he is it by bus so easily is it by a bus and that the titles come on oh god yeah right she's - they itch she's fed up she's devastated than that doctor says Clive's dead who's playing the doctor Jack Nicholson hikes mm sort of what's that fella it was in Independence Day will spike know the the the old the old black fella Fumiya yep get him in he says your husband's dead she's not our dad what happens then is he says but listen what we can do now we can take the brain out right right and a fact that I read that day before the meeting listen in the film now this is me rubber thing about how the brain can it can run on half of it you've actually got a full brain well enough so this is this was in my mind still well half you mind you so I said what happens is Morgan Freeman's has been working on this you can run you can run your life on half a brain right she's sort of a bit like what you tell me this for now we all spend just died like 20 minutes ago and he goes yeah but if we weren't gonna do this we've got a act quick she's like do what he says whilst his brains not fully dead because it stays awake for a bit when he's not dead then fine no nobody is what we found out stays awake if the brains dead you are dead Clive Warren's dead and if if if the brains not dead you're not dead nobody slight people in a cone with you dead aren't they well no no no in a coma no they come out of comas direct then he's in a coma he's minute by the boss but the chances are he's not gonna come out of that coma but his brain is still awake so change that that's easily done Oh Don though I like this fact that he's in a coma they're going look he's definitely gonna die in this coma take the brain out now pop the brain out but why is that such a weird thing when that's what they do now that's what they do now what is that's what they do what they do that a brain transplant no but when like oh I've signed that donor card yeah if anything happens to me there's no such thing as a brain donor or we've explained you before yeah but they're working on it they've said something about Einstein they messed about with his brain for ages trying to work out if it was full of stuff that's what they doing they're working on that there's loads of things that doctors are doing that we don't know about I've seen some weird stuff on the internet yeah I know you have yeah I saw a program on channel 5 where a monkey brain was still alive and it was stuck on a stick you're watching the Magic Roundabout Holte and it reacted right so it's still alive it's being kept alive and it's only a matter of time what's what's the brain linked up to as long as you can link it up to the unnies and somehow so it can tell the arms and legs what to do you're laughing I love that as imagine it that team full of doctors going well we're gonna try to rent out a car as long as you can link this up to the eyes and tell the arms and legs what do we love lousy liar then what happens is they say do you want half of his brain in your head these his play he said she says definitely not I'm having you struck off she starts screaming she calls the police he gets arrested you said that years ago when people can have like someone else's arm put on their body and stuff he's only in a coma yeah no but he's not gonna come out of that coma so it's like this or nothing it's like look you know what we're gonna do where we can either turn the switch off well we can put you that in your right but why what he does so what they do then they're gonna take half his brain after his brain separate out half of hers pop it in place why would she do that because she loves him but hold on wait wait wait wait what would she then me because this is what I'm trying to okay okay so what happens is he explains all this so I mean this would probably cover about 20 minutes in the film but he wasn't this bit would have you so what I've actually left when I wouldn't even got in to see a film starring a clover Warren and Rebecca De Mornay 1985 she's the same as you she says the same thing she goes why would I do that doctor hmm and he goes well what will happen is he's gone but you'll you'll have these thoughts so in the morning when you say I don't know what's wrong when they have cornflakes is better the brain will sort of settle we tab it's ready wait yeah oh yeah sorry sorry so the point of this film is that the dead man can reminder what breakfast cereal she likes so the thought was yes so that's it is it no no no that's not the away oh wait I mean this is only Act one that's just the first bit everything's going well she's done so what is what who she isshe yourself she's Rebecca De Mornay yeah but now with a clip with with with him chipping in with a bit of voiceover so the idea is it's all going well at the beginning and she's so chic and so she's brain taken out and put in a bin okay and and Clive Warren's offers been put in there so now she's walking around okay she's like a schizophrenic look like I say the brain is alive so it's all going well when she leaves Ospital yeah and she gets the first taste of it it's a bit weird to get hold of cuz she's she's sort of I think when she signs herself out he's sort of fighting right in his name and stuff so there's a few sort of technical things that she has to get used to and describes bring what he's now inside her brain does that matter well I would say matters because otherwise if it does matter what's what's what's he thinking this why has she gone along with this because she really loves him but what what's in it for him what does she think safe I died yes whose answer going I live half of Karl's right she would wake up in the morning to a thought of me sort of going or you never guess what I just thought about or whatever I'd still be there the rest of your body sort of waste in it because the rest of your body's sort of Weiss know it is kind of if when someone dies it's not that person anymore is it you can't have a chat with them so if you could have someone's brain in your head when you're dead you know it won't you what are you talking about why would I have someone's brain in my head when they're dead but I've got a perfectly good brain so you're telling me you wouldn't have it done then of course I [ __ ] would also categorically state I would not yeah but you're saying that now but once you're in that position that's someone who you know you love and that dies if the doctor said do you want it no so a typical bit of dialogue and we've done the breakfast scene yeah yes [ __ ] oscar-winning yeah can we do lunch there maybe like at the funeral because even though the brains still alive they start off the funeral and you can have like a funny bit where they stood around the grave and likely some relation there oh he doesn't like and she can start laughing and the family looking at her going she laughing yeah and she's sort of laughing and he's saying something a bit rude you look at the red do you know I mean no family no little coming out for you yeah so you have all that and people are sort of like in the film thing you know it's quite funny but honestly it really is the ramblings of a case I have to say that I am hooked now I want to know what's gonna happen next in the story then what happens is she hears the voice go Leslie where are you something right her name's not Leslie no no thinking who's Leslie yeah so in her mind she's going who's lens away he's going oh so he's East thought a mile over that stomach slip of let something slip so she's going on Cermak was quiet on it oh so he was having an affair this is this is the thing so she's trying to hunt down Leslie Leslie and he's got to stop I think in it then what happens is I mean you know where backs so he's got hunt down Leslie so he's got she's got hunt down yes Lee it's a woman is it and Leslie always another woman but what happens is I mean without ruining the end for everyone oh yeah this will be filling the multiplex is it no yes no it's the greatest love story ever told set in the head but listen well I said okay I don't yeah you've got to and I don't that you can let people know good thing come on wait for the film just let your mouth talk right so what I said was maybe what happens is is brain mmm is more powerful a nurse right Howard's now or what how is their power hadn't poison their power involved what I mean is her brain was ruining the rest of her body mmm no he's declaring that gets more powerful hmm and all the rules her body okay yeah she then fancies Leslie so this is building up to a lesbian love what was trendy in it not so just have a bit about the end and so hold on so he overpowers her so she is now a lesbian what's Leslie getting out of this why does Leslie think Oh Ron why is my said lover's wife coming on to me this is what I'm saying to you these relationships it's the love of two brains right okay again can we make that into it that's a quote the relationships is a love of two brains now he's got something there he's got something there but my point is this why is Leslie suddenly turned lesbian because she loves the brain but does she know this is Clive Warren Rebecca will say something now and again like oh I like me Minj I like me food don't like this or whatever and it's all about this bacon people shredded wheat people like what they like and it's the same way like a city before with someone who's been going out with a woman and then is found out that she's got a twin sister and the divorce that first win and go out with the other twin it's all the same you're after the same thing aren't you yes but that when a cat dies you buy another one it's the same thing you want that same you don't necessarily switch your sexual orientation in the case of your twin scenario they both look the same yeah there's ever been one where I'm it's a twin boy and girl yeah well I was going out with her but I mean he looks a bit like oh I loved boobs no I liked [ __ ] this is your problem you don't know anything and this theory about if your mouth talks enough the brain our kick in soon it hasn't extracts from his famous diary box jellyfish crocodiles snakes blue ringed octopus red black spiders funnel-web spiders great white sharks just some of the reasons that put me off cos creature is bigger and angrier than anywhere else on the world I put it down to two things one it could either be because spiders and snakes and the like normally hide under rocks the earth is one big rock Australia's at the bottom of the big rock and they're trying to hide under it just thinking about it thinking about where spiders go and that and that works on it no there's no real upside down and bottom of the earth is it it's all relative to what it's relative to what a map that used to it's a coincidence and it's like a redone I've heard that a lot of people go camping in Australia which I think's mental if I was to fly all that way I'd want a decent bed plus I wouldn't be camping in a place where there are killer spiders wandering around I agree I already been camping a few times and each time I was glad when it was over the last time was last year in Lyme Regis yeah when zo camping in that means is Luxur it's all right when Regis but it was all a bit of a nightmare because was going with me late and he said he knew someone you knew knew someone who had a bit of land in the garden mmm wait a bit land in the girls the point though innit you know what's what it can't be in someone's garden where there's a site like a spa down the road and like not because you're by the sea aren't you it's getting away from it all see in the world it's not if you in someone's front garden no back oh sorry well there's even less to see except three fence nobody's private in it so the thing is II said always a great garden that the owners are away and there's a toilet an outside toilet and stuff so we get there and this lad who knew about this bit of lund someone's back garden yeah said oh you can't use it they haven't gone on holiday so now you're stuck in the middle of a big civilized conurbation called Lyme Regis what are you gonna survive well we ended up just sort of keeping on the beach but you picture 10 on the beach put the tent on the beach we've found somewhere a load of rubbish that's the place to go yeah support it what was it was it was it chemical whites were just like you know just syringes listen baby don't think about that rest it was rusty if this rubbish there it means it was a good place to come why why because other people have come there right so that's how you've got a look at it it's like it's a way that's like a little tip of so you could have slowed the public lavatory yeah yeah this one's nice why it's covered in [ __ ] means other people vanish it here welcome to our five star hotel you know it's vomit on for all the [ __ ] walls that means people to have a good time here they got right piss it up and through their lungs up so that's where we put down the tent we put down the tent man and then what was Balaton we was already up the weird thing was as soon as we set up some other people turned up I saw the rubbish tip they started say not their tents no there's some nappies over there yeah there are the nappies and the offered of some sausages all right he makes it or ignore him that's like code for swingers what what so there were some people cooking sausages saying would you like the sausages we've made too much and you says no to strangers it's like we want to get away from it all yeah we don't want someone you know it starts off with sausages done it and so these people look like oh they were about 45 who are they they're a man and a woman a man a woman so what was in it for the bloke some people like that normally that means right I want the bald one love if it's like wife swapping just what should well if you be a wife no boy I don't I don't know all the rules and that but uh he's just got a real thing for [ __ ] orange like sausages anyway so we just saw I don't believe sausages because eventually how many times they give someone sausages they keep and some sausages like oh this isn't working this code but why you better code why would we be being offered sausages because they're nice people and they're making Edge's she wonder we don't let's not trust these people let's move our tent nearer to the corpse that was the company Oh September 30th going away with Suzanne's mum and dad we're meeting them at Madeira Airport as they're flying in from Manchester the plane was full-and I had a headache there was a baby sat behind us that was crying its eyes out for the whole flight the mother of it said it was upset because its ears were hurting so we're mine we went to try and find a supermarket Suzanne's man was having a go at her dad because he didn't have a shirt on she said he looks a mess and is embarrassed to be seen with him it's their ruby anniversary tomorrow we went away oh yeah I bought a fan to put in our room to drain it was saying to the mopeds I've heard Wayne Rooney does the same thing with a vacuum cleaner what if you've just got a noise that's constant it makes you nod off and it drowns out every other background noise so all you've got is like if it's a vac it's just and if that's constant like all night you just know next door ground they've got the vacuum cleaner on again but poke the chicken that's how nuclear war started yeah it works doesn't work we want ax ear plugs drown I never tried them I didn't like it why not cuz I could hear me heartbeat OH didn't do much this morning just sat by the pool saving insects that flew into it how were you saving them did you wait for them to hit the war then fish them out or grab ya stop the finger on the top they grabbed on lifted off and what when it like some sort of insect lifeguard you'd see somewhat landed they go right that's made and you go in there but it's hard to turn sort of a blind eye to stuff like that because you know without something you know you're witnessing death and if you can save something you do don't you do your bit and at night I'd sort of think have they learnt the lesson or will they be back and will they be dead in here tomorrow but if they can get an extra day I've done me bit I can't do more than that I'm on holiday do you bit I'm lucky enough to see the world do you bit love it I did me but I love it I love it I love the fact that he was running around saving flies and things it's just something there's something so sort of beautiful old lady drowned in a be told you may office Lee beware Karl that the first contraceptive diaphragms centuries ago were citrus rinds half an orange rind for instance would be reused I mean more selfish man turned of inside out I believe that's also still being used in parts of Manchester for what an orange just think of your head and it worked well we don't know at this juncture honey maybe it works of contraception because we went [ __ ] off but I mean again is that thing in it of we look we look at it now and we laugh but look look at what's happening people now I always try to get us to eat more fruit I thought from it easy to say ok so they start with then they went from the orange rinds to say a coconut shell that was too bad I didn't work then somewhere down the line they finally got to contraception as we understand it so I thought that's where you go no no what I'm saying is if you go into any well-known supermarket and you look out save some long kid it was other kid and you look out stuff in their shopping basket they're not buying fruit they're buying you know Buddhism chip turkey Twizzlers yeah Chris no no but they love having it away get some fruit in so they definitely are fruit in the house which at the moment a lot of kids don't have fruit in the house that's why they're eatin turkey Twizzlers but the mobs up in it away so she would have loads of fruit in so she was happy for contraception she would she would also be giving the kids she give to the kids and half the orange stick of a penny yeah a treat for everyone have a better fruit she's got what she wants where's at the moment what happens a burgers not coming out for for anyone [Laughter] if you want me tonight pop a sesame-seed born on you [ __ ] take out the [ __ ] pickle no one likes a [ __ ] pickle up the funny oh oh he popped a plum roast sausage at me funny yesterday he loves me Oh modern man in a sense with little technology we have can play God and this is something which is huge now lot of ethical discussions about things like stem cell research should we be interfering in what should be a godly terrain you say know straight away straight away no I think it's sort of like messing about now they'll ask the problem we've got the tools and the lights you use them and that's what happens I've got a sander for Christmas and I can't wait to some stuff I can't even think of another things that needs something a sound and that's the problem in it if you've got the tools you can't have the tools and so pop them in the shed well I'm using a new tool shed then that's the problem in it all these all these you know medical people [Music] yeah well again that's a that is a work of fiction the whole yeah but with all fiction comes the future yeah so certainly in science fiction but the problem is this is what I say is the prog or no this is a using a quote from someone let's let's sum up there Kyle shoot me people are living too long this is the real one yeah it'll be something like mmm today's cure is tomorrow's headache it's alright that's alright cuz what I'm saying there is one we can come up with with stuff hmm we can come up with a tablet to get rid of that egg mm-hmm tomorrow you know they come you're like severe so today's cure is I see tomorrow's leg ache so today's cure is tomorrow's leg day yeah but ages ago I said to you don't solve problems yeah because a problem solved is a problem caused I don't remember that quote [Music] medicine is the art or science of healing and that doesn't always have to be a drug or a surgery wasn't just forget that um some people don't need medicine they just need help and for example there are people that help disabled people have intercourse there's someone that actually helps the man put in his penis to the woman's and vagina they leave the room what another thing it's true absolutely true that is the case yeah and that's just no worse just as needed there's anything that might kill that's pleasure yeah so what are you saying because you can't walk or or move that you can't love someone and want to share that it's not a priority well no but they're going to live there they're they're healthier but apart from their their disability I've met someone they want to you know consummate this this love and someone is some helps them out as well you know that's that's part my job though it's not part of their job I have never heard anyone say oh by the right day today why I've been playing with Arthur's tackle all day with Arthur's tackle they pop Arthur's tackle in Hilda's vagina I don't think they do they do how can they enjoy that I mean once when it go that didn't work did it I didn't enjoy that older no nursed of that they don't know she helps it Arthur in or he might be a male nurse Pop's Arthur in goes okay after I'll see you in a few minutes that goes outside or what's it point though in nah why because it's all about the mood and everything he's just stuck on so alike I could stand be orthogonal to your mood there's no enjoyment in that the well-known stag beetle copulating with the leaf syndrome position because you know it's I think I said lovely act and someone's willing to wouldn't you help someone every no no no that says a guy goes oh this is my wife we're both so I can't I can't you know can you just pop me in Carl and you're the owner you know it you're the only person around there are people what do you mean nothing is important enough I'd be happy to go round put the washing on for them make the beds jock up at sea yeah there you go oh just before you go forget it if they ask me to do that I would quit and I think I don't think it happens about it on comic relief when they're eggs in the morning they don't go thanks the Midland Bank this underground that's gonna go towards are forgetting his own the way that's ridiculous so you do would you would rather then not have the pleasure of each other then just help them in no cuz it would work out some way that they could do something for each other I I what to play the guitar your fingers aren't long enough I've knocked it on the end it's the same thing if you can't do it don't do it so ease her to me right okay if the supposin is that a little fellow he's got no arms no legs right little Bob okay there he is all right now all right he's got a friend another little fella with no arms and no legs oh right they love each other too little too little fellas don't do little drawers or no arms and no legs okay have you little fellas now get married okay good cow you can't you can't upmeyer my penis up my else doing weirdo you can manage everything else no everything else seems to be sort of a dope in this department well because he's open here and I'm here if you just popped me and it's not very nice it's not good for you you've washed your arms and legs you would lose in that soon if you carry on sticking up there I think it probably best Rick if we return to the very beginning of time to the dawn of Meramec of course even in primitive prehistoric ages medicine was practiced in schools from the research people have done cave paintings and the like Carl I wonder if you would just give us your initial thoughts on you know the medicine of the ancient world you know you sound like you're if you haven't studied it or or you've been UV Moloch CBM artist do you thought about it I know that certain coming the two in Carmen he died of like having a knee injury so they didn't have that much medicine knocking about where do you get this information from it sounds V it came off a chariot the dangerous things honestly you're gonna make yourself looked after because that's what happened imagine that in a room with carpet Anton we make ourselves down how would we after that would be incredible shall we move on to the ancient world in terms of Egyptians the Greeks the Romans of course cuz they made huge advances particular Romans who understood of course the importance of sanitation now famously those boots were clean yeah don't you think that if we hadn't have cleaned up as much that I don't know we'd be stronger what well that well I know what you mean yeah immunization is giving you a bit whatever a baby's born he's drugged out his eyeballs to that all sorts of shots that Wow loads of stuff stuff and now it's like I don't know it's making us weak there's this big thing you know like the super bug where people took half the course of antibiotics it was almost like an immunization to the bacteria and virus against the antibiotics what I mean so yeah we need some germs as you'd call them but they're assume that we have eradicated I mean I think it was in our lifetime that they eradicated smallpox from the world there are rumors of course that both Russia and America still have the smallpox virus under lock and key which they could theoretically breed and use in a chemical warfare situation well that was a bit of a scandal a few years ago I think 10 years ago we're in a university laboratory someone came across a marked Yaphet part in deep freeze that had smallpox in it when you say it was more it was it like someone's put their new water because they don't want someone to I think they they you know they looked into it and it was the deep frozen smallpox virus what I mean is it's under lock and key or or a frozen a minor so that's how he says red well in the locking key and all ice it's not going off get rid of it why are they keeping a little tub of smallpox knocking about well no they're not are they not meant to be well that's a Leslie no in the first place us to me that's like in James Bond where they don't kill him on the off chance he's always that little thing of flavor danger let's keep a bit yeah well sports to AIDS in the key of all well there's probably a presumption is probably known from the Cold War where people were thinking well listen what if Russia's still got some smallpox we bearing on this one small box history lots of them as well and they say we're obsessed with keeping stuff and it's the same with germs we can't even say get rid of that we won't be needing it smallpox will keep it just in case get rid of it we've got this obsession thing again it's saving everything you say that but of course phones do Alexander Fleming discovered what may be the most important breakthrough of the twentieth century which was the first antibiotic I think in 1928 and he discovered that because he left a bit of old bread out for a while when it went all moldy in his kitchen and though all what's that Oh like I've said to you before it's down sir and being scruffy more than anything no it just seems like there's a lot of scruffy kitchens around now think of his cleaner would come in and gone Oh mr. Fleming oh you oh you you disgust me you [ __ ] filthy scruffy and I'm gonna throw this bread away years ago Lord would you do with a dumb old brother left out it's gone green sir so I chucked it away Oh God you dopey [ __ ] [ __ ] you've just caused millions and millions of people have died keep out of my [ __ ] kitchen oh but don't put it there it's the same way smallpox and so your side we say you're in a yogurt pot Wow you're asking for trouble but why's mold have come in and throwing that away again he couldn't he come shower she's doing a job I'd be annoyed if it was still wear yeah just don't put my yogurt pops with smallpox in the fridge yes tartar yeah but you were saying earlier oh let's let babies eat mug don't inject them yeah around a dirty floor clean up the floor no when the doc say that what we've gone too far now babies are coming out loud you can't handle anything though okay Odie yeah they'll easy you're not babies anymore with a load of weak people who need looking after all the time that costs alarmingly and they can't do anything the useless now that doesn't happen in in other nature if a little weak bird is born you see Bill oddly saying that says that won't last a week and it's right point car that might be medicine which can help people live to the age of seventy five eighty they shouldn't be doing that I should let people just die off well is something right the estate that I grew up on there's a woman there yeah scruffy Sandra clean you've come in looking like pretty woman you go i scruffy know what's the plate wise appointment so sure thing is she you still always get on these books is called dialer IDEs that was sort of like posh taxis could call for one they come round to your outs yeah and it became you pay like 50 P but they would pick up a bunch of other people as well yeah yeah on the way so it would take ages days it's good though it's kind of a bit of a day our old people used to love it because you'll get to see things and you dare a call coming in on the radio that you know scruffy Sandra's being victim and she'd always have laser beam bugs with a person now the thing is well she sounds clean she knows she stung well if she's taking a quickie oh this now Shawn homeless no she's used to just didn't back from that she just stomped but the weird thing is what they call a stinky sound she never was ill right people didn't sit next to her yeah because she stunk yeah now because of that anyone who might have had a better flu or a cold never sat next to scruffy Sandra right because she stunk but that was good that was like a protection thing for her because she knew that because she stunk no one wants to sit next to her she wouldn't pick up the the germ right no but this is quite your point is in order to fend off illness you have to not bathe and so you stink so you're saying that it wasn't that she'd built up an immunity it was that she stank so much the flu wouldn't come here it's not applicable in any other scenario there's always cold there's always flu it's whether your immune is it's good or bad as interesting isn't it that I'm more sort of colds are spread through shaking hands than people just take it in the air that's why some sort of germaphobes don't even shake hands anymore yeah well that's going too far cuz they're gonna die or something you can't be that paranoid gotta get on with your life loneliness and it got to feel ill because when you feel better you appreciate how good to make any sense at all it's good to fear though it doesn't make any sense - it does afterwards the other weekend when I was ill I don't know what was up but I got something symptoms went to toilet a lot felt silly at the same time got a sweat on felt the shakes just a bogey last it blasted probably about 24 hours after that's what your for hours you go feel good again it's nice to feel good again and it makes you appreciate how good you feel now sometimes I don't know if I feel well there's no any sense to either what do you mean sometimes you don't know whether you feel well because I've been in my body for years there he goes again to mine mr. wizard if there was some sort of kit that the doctor said how are you feeling mr. Pilkington oh no I think I feel alright and they go well do you know they go will step into the machine right get into the machine and if he could somehow transfer my feeling into his body so I could feel how he feels and then you can feel how I feel and it'll go oh you're not well at all your heartbeats irregular for a start you're a maniac this is I don't know what's going on here except that if you feel well you know you don't know if this machine built sorry why are people bothering studying AIDS we got to get this machine built listen this machine could do a lot of good if they could do it why because some people people who go oh I think I've got a bit of wind before you know a drop-down bed right because they didn't know he just didn't mr. mr. Jones I have a sweat on mrs. Jones before oh yeh did but you always had a sweat on well then it bother him I was used to it up in four years why don't you come in a sheen doing it the machine would make my doctor young feel like me so mr. Jones with the doctor and said well I've got a sweat on right right so he'd go hmm well I'll tell you what get in the machine so mr. Jones gets in the machine your doctor it's the bottom mr. Jones gets into the doctor the doctor goes yeah I've got a sweat on I'm familiar with this because they have a fellow in the other day with a similar thing Tech three Lee's you are a mental case I don't know what that I don't know what this is because why can't make that observation like it does using his knowledge observe the price take a seat from go Patrick Swayze's and when my nerves were short and they knots or any of the extended since then well yeah I just have to do stretches next pull them just pull them about but when I when I add that I'm not very good with words gone so when I was going insane doctor I mean these aching and it go what sort of ache is it yeah I don't know it's just a name like it's like a toothache but no but it's different different ache it's like an our sight he's hard to explain an ache so we have to feel the ache and then he could make an assumption thank you so he would presumably go through training going in the machine but they bring in various sick people and he would experience and feel every single elder yeah but dr. I'll let you know now what a swift kick in the bollocks feels like just in case you ever have to diagnose that doctor now you're gonna feel a spike of the Arts just wait comes in with a spike up yours everything before someone comes in and gets into your body like ghosts and the or now what it is hey listen let's not let's not dismiss this idea out of hand of course because you'll famously remember Rick that Karl had the idea of a mannequin go backwards so he's bored his old man with all ideas come something Einstein said but we've got an Einstein quote here this is a historic day Karl sorry what were you saying well it what it does what it doe Einstein say I think quote I think like all you know any any sort of poet content of anything is exactly how its how its worded so just what I mean is well he said something along the lines of if an idea isn't all start get stuck just listen as he started he said if an idea isn't daft isn't worth thinking about what say they can if an idea isn't daft it isn't worth thinking of I can't imagine him saying Dalek him no well it was something like that though meaning that mmm every new idea seems a bit mental yeah right it's good for then it leads to something mmm well I think if we were sat with Einstein now and you'd brought up the machine that allows doctors to feel I don't think he'd be saying we should not do that idea there's some ideas that go that I think the earth might be round you've got oh you it is flat and then there's people who stand in doorways covered in crucifixes with them tinfoil on their head saying Jesus is in my [ __ ] yeah now he's a Mentalist yes but what I'm saying is wouldn't you have said it was mental years ago when someone said I'm gonna make a machine so I can look inside your head news on hello get in the machine we've got an MRI scanner remember we were talking a while back about the questionnaire those often featured at the end of the TV program Inside the Actors Studio Oh where the host James Lipton always asks us the same questions to every guest and it's just supposed to sort of you know get their creative you know juices flowing their mind working we did ask are some of them we never completed the questionnaire oh let's look more at him and that also introduce people to the way his mind works a little bit okay what sound or noise do you love Carl there isn't really one that I love nice noises like the ones you get like I like going in the park alright and you go that's nice in it and you get like bird noises and stuff but with those bird noises comes a bit of stress right because I was in there the other day and I like I say a little bird noises not a little dropping was there and I thought that's odd that's how early I actually start sort of summertime in there and then I thought oh that's nice and watching it and then it got like a little room I mean it was like put it down why were you interfering in nature with with a Robin taking a worm just because it was a nice sunny day in that and I thought what you see worms normally come out when it's ray don't they and you go well about there a Peter darling in a way because he's choking it down it's miserable they come to the top of the soil that don't mean yeah when it's miserable but it was a sunny day yes they don't drown I see him no it's not that is it it's just that he the air the water or something falling on the ground and they go up to see what's happening but why do they come up when they think it's raining you're a worm okay it starts raining tell me your thought process well you just kind of you down there you can't see anything it's dark anyway yes so the rains coming down on the worm the worm goes what's going on so it goes up and it sort of sees it's raining and then it goes back down again on it but that starts what I'm saying about what's mean what do what is sorry what is this world where it goes ice it's rain again and I said that's that's the 400th time I've been caught out this year it's rain now remember next time I won't come up yeah what do you think a worm is capable of in terms of cognitive thought what do you mean well a worm can basically tell certain chemicals and certain life patterns that's a that's all it is really yeah and it's not thinking and it's not choosing its favorite food you don't know what that though it's what I'm saying you don't know what things are thinking everything thinks don't know it doesn't know it doesn't know the thinking of something in this room that's not about what about flowers do you think they've got a mind a feeling because they're something again they use phototropism they go towards the Sun they they they close in long words rate like Sun listen I was you know I've been to my mum and dad's I was talking to my mom about stuff all right and she was saying you know this flower solved a crime what happened was it was a murder yeah in an office so they said it's obvious that someone who works in the office did this murder because that person was only a sort of a typist yes you know they've done nothing wrong so they said that's now I would it down right so this flower man came in and he said I can sort this out for you so he said what do you mean you said well during the murder the plan was knocked off the cabinet yeah right and I had some special wires that can put a little wire on the flower and it's sort of shaking and stuff because even though you can't see it flowers pick up bad vibes and what have you if you shake a plum it doesn't like it okay so what happened was he said right what we'll do we'll put the plant back on the shelf yep well water it will calm it down then get a nice cup of tea then get every member of staff right to come in the room and just go near the flower right don't tell her like a lineup for the flower kind of like a loner don't tell them what we're doing just send them in and say stand by that cabinet where the murder happened what have you yeah anyway it was a long day that we're getting through a lot of stuff it was a big office block yeah we're going this isn't working you know flowers not budging mmm suddenly they get in tight the last part of the day when they were almost giving on they call it a sketch iced the plant the plant gives a man some some caretaker fella hair take care so go over there was it an old man that I mean cuz scooby-doo didn't like him from the beginning the they send the caretaker over to the point he's going that you know he's think I've got away with this cause plum starts shaking what have you did him okay wait a minute then so was there any other evidence was that the only evidence they used in the trial well no it's one of them things I imagine it if you're that caretaking you think I've got away with this then suddenly a plant grasses you up you weren't expecting that so suddenly you're off guard and you go you go ok ok ok can't get that chrysanthemum away from me I did it you're talking absolute bollocks that was one of those nonsense pieces of [ __ ] I've ever heard my son will happen but it didn't but what I was saying is about the worm this Robin that I saw that was eating the worm it had old of it and I thought said Sonny down that give the worm a break sort of thing so I went and he sort of dropped it in shock but then when he realized I wasn't not near it it picked up again and swallowed it and I just thought do you not I mean I don't know what you mean though I just thought it's a sunny day and everything normally birds are nice noises but alike and yet there is going about wrecking lives [Music] just nobody just swallowed it really quickly and that I thought I just thought there's the worm it came out it was happy didn't know what was going on and that had an extra chance the Robin dropped it and then he got it again and I just just maybe a bit fed up would you know why don't ya you couldn't outwit a Robin the world was going our God karl Pilkington so that's that's who's been sent to save me as it god you've sent karl Pilkington I'm dead that's it okay eat me but all I'm saying is our bird noises are normally quite relaxing but not for the worm unbelievable that was one question what sound or noise do you hate as me or as a as a worm I don't know what you mean what do you mean I've never heard an actor say that to James Lipton when he says some what noise do you hate what as me or a worm no but all I'm saying is because of me last question that's what I was saying a bird noise is relaxing to me right well it's not anymore because I think of all the deaths and stuff so now you hate the saint of birds just saying has changed me view on it it's not anything in it every every noise can mean a disaster can it well I would the sound of laughter people laughing why would that suddenly cause why would that also signify disaster if you wake up in the night by the sound of like a baby laughing yeah and I had nodded off it put the baby to sleep yeah and then it's 3:00 in the morning and I'm woken up by the sound of a baby laughing that would so fine like Chucky's I think the babies reason is diary this is my father what profession other than your own would you like to attempt this is you as you not as you as a worm but are we at the training office oh no well I've said before I'm there about maybe having a got an operation it leaves from now ambition where if he could have a job it would his best job is ever as a paper round and if you could have a job he glug go to the cobbler once a week and then walk a dog - I'd like to have a go at thoracic surgery no I'm just saying I bet like we do this and you know some people like listening to all of you and you go fair enough but I never feel like I'm doing anything of any worth no you're absolutely right there but if you're going into my hospital which of places that are pretty miserable anyway as an office space not only have you got to go in that building and work in it but you've then got the pressure of changing along or ever said before but I'd like to have a go at it so I can say you've done it I've done that so I under what circumstances in what world do you think anyone's gonna let you have a go at changing along than that um Jim will fix it no I'm just saying the comic relief but the way the world is and the way that there's more and more people more and more doctors are needed I mean it's already happening now that people are doing jobs that they're not really qualified for because they get they get sort of what's the word sort of upward to its basic language it's like it's unbelievable uppered do you know what mean they promote it yeah promote it yeah get to get promoted swear I put up words great so why was there not happened unbeliev so do you not i mean i think because because more and more people are knocking about we need more and more doctors yeah you get a job in adopters you're gonna be promoted sooner now i think yeah well other what I do is I'd probably upper you and then what's the word good you go away them you I think is you go over Bewdley you you leave the door you you leave the door you to fire them that's it that's the wonderful so either for you and go away the doctor if anything but I've been to you know I don't like going to the doctor's and stuff yeah that's what we scared that they might investigate below the bridge yeah but I checked on that before I signed up to it and then they said right before we can take you on as a patient you've got other health check all right what you thought was odd it's almost like saying if you're ill it can't be I mean you come in here right but I said right okay fair enough what what is this health check and they said oh you know we just check your body out make sure you fit and healthy and I thought that isn't enough information you know I want to know if it's the old finger trick or and and I said what what do you mean when you said L check what do you do and just though it's just I think she knew what was getting up no it's just the blood pressure you're right that's about it so I won when an ad hit and stuff but you answer before you sort of said right I want this doctor to give you loads of forms to fill out right and one of the things they did was if you die what you want to give away like a donor mmm what have you and I thought I was really thought about for a forty minutes or so I didn't just rush into it was something I thinking you know if I'm dead does it matter and stuff but I was really concerned when he said about the eyes that can they have your eyes after you die it was it was I think it was fourth on the list why did you carry the button giving you eyes when you're dead just because of that thing of you know we don't know for sure yeah and I'll let you poopoo it but the afterlife thing so why in an afterlife do would you want your eyes more than your liver and your kidneys and your lungs and your heart because ghosts don't eat Billy so you don't need all your liver and you kidneys and stuff because they are only there to sort your food out but your eyes if you're a ghost I don't want to be a blind ghost because once you're a ghost that's it so the idea of being blind when you're alive you go well all right then maybe in the afterlife I might be treated to a pair of eyes but the fact of wandering about dead for years bumping into stuff in your theory of the afterlife why is it that you you ghost you this ghostly car why can he survive without a heart but he can't survive without eyes what why do you see what I mean surely if you're this ghostly apparition you can just see everything and you can do everything you don't need know because of the body no because you're a ghost yeah no but I think when you're a ghost say like how they've seen ghosts in right could I just say now for any listeners this is not the thoughts and beliefs of the management there is no such thing as ghosts I do not believe in ghosts I do not believe in ESP or any mumbo-jumbo carry on Kyle so when there's a ghost do you know when they see ghosts in my old castles and stuff yeah / odd cough because they've been up to no good right years ago but they're carrying it around normal into their own that's what I'm saying it hasn't reached itself so if you tap the eyes out but Karl how is this ghosty creature able to function it's it doesn't have its head on anyway it's carrying under its arm so the suspicion is it doesn't need its head no it just happens to be carrying it around because it you know was to keep it with it the ghost is always in the last condition that it was in when it was in its these roles yet the way you are in your last bit of life is how you are as a ghost forever even in the fashion I could say the ghost that you see you never wear modern clothes for these always the Victorian stuff now they could change it it would put the car because they stuck with it so that why did you see cavemen ghosts when did go start they didn't kick in till about 1830 today what if you die when you're having a rectal examination are you always bent forward with your trousers around your ankles and someone's finger at me why would you die when you're having that and on that's why I'm not having it done if that's no but it might have both been suddenly um killed in a terrible disaster I meet you right here you that's when you get the moaning ghosts in it that's they're the ones who aren't apt so you're going round bent forward and got a doctor's finger up your ass and what are you doing no and that's when you have to get the vicar round to put you to rest and what-have-you don't think and what does a vicar do when he's going UK so I so I get the Vick around it's years later it's a hundred years later you're you around this doctor surgery and there's people come in and the doctor they're the new doctor there and it's it's 2073 and they go vicar vicar I got a vicar they said there's a strange ghostly apparition is it looks like an old doctor right and he's got his fingers at this sort of like it's like a chimpanzee but with a shaved head are you saying the doctor dies yeah at the same time with his finger at your ass and so you're forever your forever having a little rectal examination with your little trousers around your ankles well that's what it'd be best not to have your eyes Rick I know this is something you always get excited about it's Karl's diary we have a drink thank you very much woke up to the news about an elephant in India that had sore feet so the locals have made it a big pair of slippers tried to look online for picture but I couldn't find anything sure I've made it two pairs of slippers well I'm only going by the facts in the diary Rick and I would have thought that they were absolutely bonafide in fact checked any mistakes in here I'm sure they've done this for an elephant before I thought elephants have bad memories no they are prepare enough I thought elephants have bad memories if they have I'm guessing it's gonna keep forgetting where it's left them I mean just to get the if it's a myth the myth completely wrong yeah elephants never forget that's the same knot they always forget so you can buy them slippers every year Karl says I had a pair of slippers for years he thinks they donate now I love I love a person if it's my 12 socks I know I know and what about if you you know maybe opening a brand-new box of thumbtacks you drop them all over the floor you're trying to pick them up Rick I've gotta pop across the road to get some milk it's Robbie I'm surely not gonna go in my socks not upon the shoes is mad pop some slippers on foot perfect yeah yeah you shouldn't go in your slippers why not just across the stream a to get some milk cuz they're inside shoes you don't go rowing about on tarmac in slippers us basic for you avenues to pursue you're just tiptoeing across the street you know I get my shoes on but you can you can you can you can pop out and get the the paper and you know the bottle of milk on you and the slippers without without any harm done apparently not that'll make into a diary try to have a shower but there was no water the fact that there's no war Suzanne should I be dry yeah I'm freezing cold no no you should you should be sort of wet and warm right there's no water there brilliant I called the service charge people but no one was about looked outside but concern he weren't going on great in it in India they can sort out elephants with shoes in London we have no water a boat for a bit but still no sign of any water brush my teeth just using the paste and used the little bit that was in the kettle to have a wash I was pretty sure 5 foot of using that Suzanne was a bit annoyed because she wanted a cup of tea she said go across the road and buy a big bottle of water not in your socks pop some slippers on go across surrounded by a big pot of water she said I never thought of that you had a wash using the water bottle of clean in it how much is any little drop in there oh it's big Kel so will you just wash your face yeah so you didn't wash your body you've got a look at what you can do with the water available people in Africa and that shot a walk around wasting it so no fear a bit dirty you drink it what you mean add a look online to see what's been going on scientists say that Everest brackets the mountain just in case you've confused that with any other Everest s' maybe the double glazing PPA you say that scientists say that Everest has grown a bit the way they were talking about it even thought it's grown loads it's only inches no isn't that they found out that it's actually a couple of inches taller than they first thought because their methods of measuring a more accurate than they were 20 years ago so it's bigger than they thought it was it hasn't grown no I just think what's happened is at the bottom because of like people keep people are always climbing up it aren't they all right so they're sort of we're in a way that's all rubbish so this also measured against sea level it's not measured about when you get otherwise I just big a big old wooden tango right it's down to here it's the thought peak is measure the game does it matter at the end new day no but it's just nice to know in it that's what I'm saying is we don't need to know that it's not gonna put anyone off like Brian Blessed who's always climbing up there for fun he's not gonna go oh good under lit last year but of two more inches forget that gonna be shouted so don't worry about it it doesn't matter al peak is something else though that's happened since right they were climbing up there and someone got near the top and they were sort of climbing up like old in the cliff edge in that and they'd forgotten the flag that we're back know that there and it they better rock and it went like the piano under there they don't know how it's got that right you talking [ __ ] again someone's been tipping okay the council won't even take away your washing machine unless you pay em they're not gonna sneak up Everest no this is the problem in it because the council won't take anything people are going what can we do with this oh yeah well justjust just sneak up Everest to take you nine days and it may you may die but just pop it up on their fruits well I know for a fact that you've confused you've confused a few things there because I think the the piano being found was actually somewhere in Scotland some kind of more in Scotland and they found a piano up there and everyone said I know Hansel can are doing up here and it turned out that some guy one of these people who like tries to break World Records how I dragged a piano there is some kind of feat of endurance yeah but for I'll be damned if I'm gonna take about here and just left out there it wasn't you nobody tipping or aliens or anything some scientists have come up with a cure for bird flu it's somewhat to do with some stuff in horses they gave the clue to a mouse and then injected it and it's well again I think we should stop coming up with cures for things as the germs are just getting stronger and stronger I reckon by 2020 germs will be so big that we will be able to see them in the air they were no longer be little particles you wouldn't swallow one if you did it won't be the germ that will kill you you'll just jump to it nothing else that's how we'll die in the future choking on enormous giant germs and then we'll be like rampaging around the cities will they tell you what though right now I'm getting worried now because this stuffy believes and thinks of it I mean it could be mental but you know I mean though like a proper paranoid sort of it when those people with a sue I'm gonna live in a loft covered in tin foil yeah bye and pages the Bible all the way around the you know and Suzanne's after the polymer some sort of spacesuit to come in and give me beans I don't yeah and he's gonna have to polish each beam scientists doing it they just sort of thinker think ahead of everyone else that's what I'm doing and the weird thing is right Steve sometime last week it was a science piece which was close to what I had already said yeah but they've got some germs or that like eating sugar right they stick him in a lunch box with a chocolate bar within an hour it was gone right and they say now these germs love chocolate and do this scientists leave it near this fat scientist that works in the same laboratory anyway it's unbelievable is it take what right I put the chocolate bar in here with the jam okay it's gone that's amazing worse brilliant that do it again what do it again leave another one Seaver once again so in the future you're running around and germs are eating chocolate that's not science that's pac-man

Channel: Ultimate Ricky, Steve, Karl

Views: 575,492

Keywords: the ricky gervais show, ricky gervais, karl pilkington, stephen merchant, steve merchant, the office, extras, idiot abroad, podcast, xfm, compilation, clips, ricky gervais podcast, ricky gervais show, ricky gervais xfm, ricky gervais interview, ricky gervais stand up, karl pilkington xfm, karl pilkington diary, karl pilkington interview, karl pilkington 2019, karl pilkington sick of it, karl pilkington laughing, karl pilkington best bits, ricky gervais golden globes

Id: Ja5FLnuVKPA

Length: 76min 53sec (4613 seconds)

Published: Sun May 31 2020