karl on investments and inventions

seriously what about this we're not going to sort that out today idiot abroad fool's gold i give you a million to spend and you've got one year to make two million i've got a double a million yeah you can you can gamble you can put it all on a horse or you can put a little bit on horse you go to dragon's den you go i've got an idea clippable mug what about the tie with like you can carry scissors in and stuff it's already out there is it what's the first thing you do with that if i said you've got you've got a year to make one million you've already got this million just do loads of stuff well then go on what was the first dot what do you do antiques and um buy antiques vlog them on art i'll buy a house in bulgaria what do you know about whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa you're going to buy a house in bulgaria that's your first thought how much is the house in bulgaria 100 grand right how much do you want to sell it for i'm going to sell it for 200. i'm going to do it i'm going to double your money on a house within a year you've got to make 130. i'm spinning plates here what else are you doing so you've got to keep flying to bulgaria to check it out i've got the local builders on it right in bulgaria yeah let's play spinning right antiques on the go um 5 000 scratch cards right i'd have some kids doing that i'd say right you can have a fiver um i've got time i'm giving it them to do this is the worst idea i've ever heard that my my minion's gone isn't it yeah i mean i've just if you've got money you make money that's a fact where is bulgaria it's somewhere i know bulgaria is good for property a lot of property programs no no there's a lot of things that you can do with property antiques classic cars and do you know what so you're doubling your money on a classic car in a year yeah but i've made stuff i've made inventions what have you done do the dragon's den like you say the clip on my idea like you have your cup there but look at that saucer every time i ever have a little bit of tea i'm talking to you i've got to go like that i've got to look exactly where i'm putting it again right clickable is stuck on it's it's attached to it at all times that's ridiculous how's it going if i want i'd have to put it down there complete down there i'm not limited as to the surface that i can put it on it's attached it's washer-proof dishwasher-proof it's an idea [Laughter] this is good kills you down that's going to give you headache not get rid of one [Music] look how complicated it is just for a toilet yeah of the skill of bill gates just have a [ __ ] [Music] you can't do any of that can't do that stuff but it's a robot [Music] it's a crisp picker upper if you want some crisp but you don't want to get crisps on your hands you use a chris picker opera i like the fact that you've got a bit of a rebellious streak in you sometimes you go off-road and i called you when you're in japan and you dropped this bombshell you've finally decided the one thing you want to do before you die and that was to invent something and you said it's because you want to leave a legacy which i thought was brilliant well just because you're you're dead longer than you're alive aren't you okay i'm coming up with stuff all the time that's why i think this is my strength that hasn't been used yet i can't do this sort of thing really this sort of job of being on the telly look at dyson it's only a vacuum cleaner yeah he's up there with einstein everything is well rated just for a vac and i reckon i can come up with something better than that it doesn't have to be a cure for cancer i'm not going to come up with that all i can do is come up with something that i needed at the time and that i think other people will go do you know what that's a pretty good invention so something that benefits mankind yes okay he he pitched me the idea over the phone and i said i'm out okay well pitch it to me now then right in japan they don't have these you try finding one sit on the floor all the time when you go in a restaurant you sit down cross-legged you get a flat arse and your legs ache yep so you've invented what it's the pilco pump punt i'm sorry the pilco pump pant it's a pair of pants with a cushion built in the arse the inflatable pant stops your ass from getting wet for men or women do you know the thing you put on your neck [Music] when you're on long flights yeah i've used that that isn't how the finished thing would look when i when i make it you know this is a prototype i sold some on a shopping channel you're slagging them off you're saying i'm out watch this this is the lovely man i was talking about it is our lovely carl to bring you some trousers all right how's it going hello good one good one morning everyone hope you're well it's the pants we're selling today look at that i've had that is it you've come on the telly to flog me a pair of pants we know about pants we've seen pants before you haven't have you haven't seen these pants it's that bit there that's the seller that's what we're here for that's what we're talking about it's the pilcol pump pump the way it works is you got a big zip a good quality is it look at that doesn't stick it's a quality zip that is it all right open it there it is there's the cushion you might have one of these already shove it in there you know you're going to be sat down for a while you're waiting for that order of the sofa you're waiting at the bus stop you haven't got a seat because the queue's big the buses have delayed where you're going to sit for the beauty is you can sit where you want sit on concrete sit on the road not on the road that's dangerous sit on the pavement sit on grass how good is that and there's only 15 pairs available 15 pairs in the whole world do you want to be one of the fifties look at him look at him there you go it's terrible to show you how easy it is again it looks like some sort of medical procedure isn't it that's what people would think they you think you've had your ass removed get rid of that i'll come out for a pocket look at that like i say we carry more and more stuff around we think of carrying stuff in that your arse rattling yeah no i'm not buying a bag you just turn around at the cash point stick your milk in there stick your bread in there off you go a big big pocket you've got this health and safety these days you've got that in there you like a walk maybe buy something for your young kid you're walking by the canal he falls in is he a good swimmer i don't know you tell me but if he falls in he's got something to keep him buoyant upside down like that he's like he's um anything else anything else goes angle let's see how the orders are going have we had anyone calling in yet two people on the phone what do they want do they want to talk to me or is that just they've gone we've sold them job done brilliant cheers for that everyone these are how they look in real life this is the pilky pump pen pilco pump pump yup okay i mean it looks ridiculous it does look ridiculous so there's most fashion these days okay they're good yeah no yeah if it was yeah no you're right yeah it's all the time you don't need a chair that's doubled up you must be too comfortable sit on the floor sit on the floor there because that would be and i suppose particularly useful if you've had a finger up the eyes all right there you go so nice yeah dead comfy yeah really comfy um carl can you go and bring me my sort of bread and milk and stuff up you got five pens for a carry bag i i haven't no i haven't hang on don't worry about that see in a minute what did you want bread and milk some groceries yeah look imagine walking down the street wearing that absolutely ridiculous carl it looks it looks [ __ ] ridiculous it doesn't know it does it look like that you no no one no one will walk down the street like that hang on hold on carl i bought you um no look lord carl there's no restrictions i've brought you a couple of cups and sauces yeah can you tell i brought you these for you a bag i've got a bag no just pop them in there come in you see you yeah just oh working here shove them in yeah just put them in there there you go it's good just safe for that yeah all right okay all right yeah good run for the bus mate quickly quick quick suzanne's at home oh here comes carl with our new crockery honestly that isn't pulling me down or anything that is fine that's it's absolutely ridiculous no you'd double wrap them normally weren't you oh god unbelievable

Channel: Chi-CAN You Believe It

Views: 754,052

Keywords: #karlpilkington, #kp, #rickygervais, #stephenmerchant, #stevemerchant, #podcast, #xfm, #bestof, #monkeynews, #compilation

Id: Q8oY4ZCJu54

Length: 9min 57sec (597 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 11 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/Mina_Groke]

I’m still upset that ’fools gold’ never happened