Karl pilkington rare interview funny

hello and welcome to this DVD extra I suppose it should be called meet karl Pilkington - we did a little bonus feature for my politics DVD where we were where we talked about um politics obviously and that sort of introduce you to the world that that was put on them YouTube and it's had like a million hits so I think you know it's time we did that again but around science a subject that if possible you know less about than you did about politics in a way Iraq I do know more about science what is science it's in everything in it can't avoid science is interesting because people who believe in God say that about God he's in everything no no but this is this is like proper this is you know if people are believing God that's all right but science is without science you want everything of this well it's almost the antithesis isn't it that if you believe in the magic of you know God and all is in possibilities in theological and you know that's science looks at hard empirical facts sure all that one right off me ed I'm into science I'm into the weird science you know I like the fun of it there's a lot of falling science let's start at the beginning the Big Bang okay yeah what do you think of this an atom right is mostly nothing one analogy is it's like a fist in the Albert Hall so an atom the size the Albert Hall the matter part of it okay the nucleus would be a fist the rest is space okay that's one thing with a fly buzzing around it as the electron just to what's good charge now when we look at it on that scale it's easy to understand that all matter that exists everything in this universe was once in the space many many times smaller than an atom yeah it done they don't make any sense that doesn't know what most people watching this ago and I don't get that me I do it's what else he's on everything in the universe could be crammed into the tiniest thing imaginable and that was sitting there in the beginning of time right 15 billion years ago right and then it expanded into a universe in a few minutes but was the minutes then no so we don't know then we don't know how long it took not a matters I'm not bothered it's a now and that's what I'm saying to you it's all amazing that the Big Bang thing absolutely it was it a Big Bang I was because there's nothing else there to drown out the noise at the end of day it's that old thing in it the noise was the even annoys if no one's there to hear it don't be worrying about all that stuff leave it to Stephen Hawking to do it course you can sit there and think about it's got nothing else to do let him get on line oh it's great to think I like thinking but me world's too busy I always got to be doing other things he sat there just thinking I'd be the same if I was in his shoes exactly the same thinking but he's done that much thing can you think about things now he doesn't need to think about packaging Steve at a rest like mama do do what every just do something else stop worrying about the Big Bang oh he's wasting his life thinking about something that doesn't matter we don't need to know the answer he's wasting his life thinking about something that doesn't matter good it doesn't matter does it in your life of things that matter where would you put the Big Bang no but then but then I'm gonna fall we're not nothing matters then does it so eat yeah what wonder what Mars Oh keeping people happy okay looking after people so so keeping them happy could be giving them life-saving drugs or feeding the starving world or letting someone become mobile that was otherwise immobile that's that's fine but you're talking about space when did it start where does it end he doesn't matter it really doesn't matter you know it goes on and on and on and on we know that atoms they're not getting in the way stop worrying about them I read something about some scientists trying to smash one up what for they're not in the way if they were big and I kept bumping into them it smash him up break them down gravel make gravel oh my god I'm so tiny that they're only gravel no but what I'm saying is it's not an issue right it's loads of problems in the world there is loads of problems you may mention them all the starvation all that and someone's faffing about with an atom that isn't going to saw anything out some people say mathematics is the tool of science you need maths to do anything in science you have precision that I believe that you do well like doing DIY I've told you there's a lot of maths involved accuracy right that's fine okay just taking it slightly even more accurate than and DIY micro surgery I'm putting a man on the moon the figures had to be pointless yeah yeah yeah again you see if we didn't have the numbers that won't have happened but all we've done is create something else we didn't need because of something else we've got we didn't have to put man on the moon what was he doing what did he do nothing has he been back no he hasn't he didn't enjoy it no one no one else has gone up there the only reason the thing that I've thought of recently when I thought that would be good to go into space again is to get rid of rubbish that's what I do they're always going on about landfill and everything's not good get rid of all this shoot up there stick it into space he's expanding his loads of space mmm stick all the [ __ ] up there don't be sending a man up III heard that one of them astronauts knocking a golf ball about on the moon leave you golf clubs at home and take some [ __ ] up with you and tip it yeah but do you know how much fuel is needed to get a kilogram of something up out of the Earth's atmosphere into space you had a golf club with it no ball okay but how much how much rubbish do you think we can really get rid of as much as you want but how much fuel does it take I mean it's a matter of economics as well think of the fuel that were the fuel that would take a bin bag full up into space with far our way that been bad being on earth but they keep going into space now they're not going to the moon they knock around space lesson we saw flights nine less astronauts couple them in bags chuck some [ __ ] up there what's good with it is it won't break up it'll just keep circling and up there then space isn't space anymore it'll be like a museum because there'll be old stuff from years ago at the moment we're not we don't save anything do it's all about recycling everything's destroyed there's no evidence of the past hmm go into space okay like Antiques Roadshow of [ __ ] from the years gone by right I'd like to see this episode that's mental Carl it's not mental it is mental how would you get the rubbish up there in the rocket yeah but you don't know anything do you know how much fuel it takes to blow it up anyway I'm just saying at least if you're going up there do something do something different this space there's nothing in space well there's something there that's what we do as humans we don't like plane space we fill it that's what we do so just chuck some [ __ ] into space that's all I'm saying if you're not there get rid of a few bin bags but in space there's nothing don't you understand what I'm saying it's not it's mentors it's it's everything is wrong with it it's a tent once again a terrible flawed theory time machines they're funny that's science well we saw going to the future aren't we all the time but every day we are exactly yeah but I'm talking about people want to do big leaps don't me yeah I met a scientist once you know we're all following that proper scientist he said he'd love to get a time machine bad dream or no wolf Hines wolf all right Matt any sad love a time machine where'd he go back off yeah back he said he wanted to go back because he asked me so where'd you want to go I said oh uh I think a pictu holiday that I had so you went back five or six years because I knew exactly what I'd be going back to we enjoyed that week I'd be going back I wouldn't have to pay for that holiday I've already paid for it it's not like I'm turning up and someone's going get out you shouldn't be here I was there so you're going back because you reckon your save for under quid those children fifty it was a bargain new york or a villa swimming pool three bedrooms that's what you'd use a time machine for I'm just saying why do people always have to jump so far on then let me get this straight are you going back and it's you now and you've had that five years and you're loving it I remember doing this or are you going back and just reliving it like a memory and no one knows the difference and nor do you it's like you're just do it and then you have to no no I everybody there doesn't know I've gone back in time right so you've come the future then yeah but they don't know that I know but you're in your body then you look like you did then but actually it's Carl five years on yeah but I'm having the same holiday and I'm going to enjoy it more so you're not coming back with going like Oh Rita go and get that checked out and no just our holiday but the weird thing is this professor bloke you wait to go by easily what to go back when like cavemen were knocking about to see how the sort of mooched about and how they survived see that to me is more interesting than going back on a holiday I've already had I'll be honest you wouldn't go about to being a caveman you'd hate it you'd be going oh God send me back and I go no no you got to stay here for a bit so expensive machine 10,000 years yeah I don't understand though I got forward either so when you went back so what suppose you went back to cave winters right you you are you right you'd fit in five brilliant I be the king maybe know what right what would you do that like you said like how they go they go right slightly different in it no it's not it's exactly the same we haven't changed bodily I've got a pair of pants on right so you go back naked so you'd fit in know what Sabol call Palin no no you wouldn't go back naked eye they go they would take your pants off first thing they do if you went there with pants they would rip your pants off only wasn't they would you can't go back with pants on you've got to go back naked it's summer then walk around naked why would you go pants on before you get in the time mister you'd have to take your pants off no because I want to come across like I'm something from the future okay so I walk in there going well what they doing what they say they just can't believe it they go what's going on what do you say I say I'm just visiting what you're wearing then what Eugene this I've gone like this okay they would definitely want to see no they wouldn't they wouldn't because they've sick of seeing it to them it's likely not a nudist beach they're no longer looking at [ __ ] and bollocks and tits and ass you've seen every day to them it isn't weird to me I'll probably be looking at them and put some pants on I don't understand why they couldn't do that really then I think they did the wheel before the pants really yeah I think they did I think they did we did biology the life sciences isn't it amazing that we're here that anything is here that we're having a chat now in front of these cameras for a DVD extra and we started off as a single sour blob a little thing that had the right temperature in the right compound the right minerals ultraviolet that little thing happened it's a little nucleus it was just a just a cell okay but I don't like thinking about all that and then it divided in it yeah got a skin and then yeah I don't want to know yeah when people get in touch from friends reunited ago that was 20 years ago I don't want to know well I certainly don't want to know about 30 million years ago okay I want my little time zone battleborn I live and a dying okay that's all I can worry about does a fascinate you at all it doesn't fascinate it's amazing but it should add to me I don't know that just by chance something happened a genetic mutation than that and that and then that was chosen by nature it worked it survived okay but certain things work and then not that impressive like slugs you always say well it's evolved it hasn't evolved okay we share about 70% of our genetic material with a slug what 70% well what what 70% has that got that I've got it's got 70% I've coughed up stuff that looks like a slug if that's a 70% you're talking about there's nothing else nothing in a series you share you share DNA with an onion a bath ask the roundness of the head probably I'm telling you that the slug is about 70% and for the same genetic material as the human species with that close with that close all the hard work all the hard work was done then in terms of like get any right a slug got it right a slug is as evolved as us it's perfect it's not perfect why okay definitely not perfect why why isn't it perfect that's great a deal with slugs a lot when there was like blocking up my shower my there's a gang of him in the tube how can they be as evolved as me what they doing stole mosh mosh ePHI right don't we do it what happened just was on the shower and the shower basin filled up my hands come on here yeah so I got a plunger no so it's a black stuff mean what is this that's a tip unscrew the the plug old bit couldn't quite get down there yeah set the tiles off the side of the shower thing and got in there and screwed it all got the pipe just slugs all in there all sat in there blocking it up don't know how they got in there but that's what I'm saying to you they don't know what they're doing what they doing knocking about in there get out now what are they doing I don't know to this day what they do i watching tapes you know like insect they survive that's what they do they're chosen you're blind don't you know there's another one there's loads of insects knocking lightly else there's a spider in the outside shed it's not an insect nor the slug slug is among us spiders an arachnid I ok spiders in the cupboard outside right I'm not joking it's been there now for about two years right could be 3 ok same ones quite big just sits there in the corner right I go in I smudge its web up why because I don't want it there right fine I want to kill a spider right but I'm sort of saying I'm wrecking your else if you move there's no problem move it go back it's Billy's web again shut up doing nothing what is the point and where he's not doing nothing is it always building its house hunt it is hunting it's not even doing that well it is that's what it that's how it does it it's made up it's made a web and things fly into it then it wraps them up sucks the juice out all right for what to then sit in this shed why you need instance why didn't it go but you're eating you're staying in your flat you want to go back to Majorca five years ago what are you doing what are you doing oh well it depends I've been who knows who knows what's gonna happen in another billion years you'll be the slug the human race could be the slugs there could be this amazing being that evolved from us going what are they doing people go well you know 70% their genetic material you know how it's gonna go you've stood on the shoulder of giants you've stood on a few slugs you told me in your flat but we share our ancestry with those slugs we are related to slugs I've never watched who do you think you are and they've gone rogue on me from the tree do you know tell you this look is a great uncle of yours we don't need to know where we've come from we would want to hear that either on that program you would not want to wear that yeah yeah yeah it's nothing to do with us oh it's happened it's all all relaxed but it's a matter of degrees your brother right okay very close to you your cousin singing for about 12 years okay genetically speaking couldn't get closer okay so closest you can be a brother a son a mother - exactly you know set to clone an identical twin okay so cousin a bit less grown cousin the bloke around the world the chimp Marmot Mouse bird what were you doing no you're just saying words up me what's a marmot doesn't right then doesn't matter but you're related to him you're related to him with all our evolution now we can sit around doing Sudoku and inflaming our mind and inventing art and stuff so honor I want it use to use you know scientific method let's use a bit of logic okay I'll give you a couple kilometers because I want to see how how you've evolved okay there's two children sitting on a bench yeah okay okay buddy yeah okay there's a boy and a girl okay Dover the kids on the boat yeah there's a boy and a girl sat on a bench yeah the blond haired child yeah says I'm a girl right the brown haired child says I'm a boy at least one of the children are lying which one's the boy on which one's the girl but what else can I see you there can you tell by the way they look Ramon no know you've gone blind gay you can't see I'm just I'm telling you they store the information you need and they actually sound I can tell by voice you can't no no no no I'm telling you okay so I'm gone so this is your bench right you've come to me I haven't seen these now I have not heard the move quite amazed yep spin in the park yeah yeah so again after you spinning the park yeah and I've seen ya a lad and a girl wanna drown a I wanna blonde there ya to be the blonde head child said I'm a girl yeah the brown haired child said I'm a boy at least one of them is lying which one's the girl which one's the boy I don't know all think I want to why didn't you want to I don't want to work it's a very easy one just think through the scenarios in your head I'm a girl thinks about the brown egg one I know the blonde head one said on the go one of them is lying yeah at least one of them is lying glad so just that just the boys lying or both former well they've got we both lie another night why because it's a boy and a girl there one of them saying little girl one saying there boy yeah so if one of them's lying but we both like they have to be both lying so the blonde dead kids boy what see but what are we what you do with that because it trains the mind to think logically to think through it that's that's imposing a scientific method

Channel: Lee Brady

Views: 1,631,833

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Id: 00n9UpZKEBM

Length: 22min 45sec (1365 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 05 2016