The Babysitter (2017) KILL COUNT

[Music] welcome to the killcount where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies I'm James Agee nice and today we're looking at the babysitter released on Netflix in 2017 the babysitter follows a dweeb ish 12 year old named Cole as he discovers that his hottie hot babysitter and her hottie hot friends are naughty not very nice it's a super stylized film from director Mick G who started off in the music industry writing songs like Sugar Ray's fly and directing music videos like the offsprings pretty fly he also directed the music video for a little Smash Mouth song you may have heard of called all-star here Mick G applies his sleek style to a cast of varying talented Fame like the charismatic Samara weaving and the vine star Andrew bachelor aka King Bach oh and bella thorns here too she talks about her boobs a lot weighted ugly boob all the movie is flashy and has some very impressive gore it's a bit too MTV for me to enjoy it almost feels like a bunch of cool people pretending to like not cool things especially when they're talking about stuff like predator but I know you started salivating as soon as I mentioned the gore so let me show you what I'm talking about and get to the kills [Music] the movie begins with a kid who's scared of getting a booster shot at school I'm not scared well maybe you should be kid scared of that title car oho the babysitter's coming in ha this 12 year old is named Cole and he lives in a world of large characters ten in there looking like grade school Napoleon Dynamite and shit the Deb dickholes Napoleon is Melanie a precocious tween with a dad who uncle Rico would find positively awesome cool social circle also includes a trio of bullies led by this Jeremy kid who call him colonoscopy and are totally no homo the last thing he cares about your balls I hate guys I love women things start to get rough but the scuffle is stopped by the boss womanist backlit BabyCenter you've ever seen Samara weaving as the very tips allure babysitter bee bee is a hashtag fierce protective mentor of Kohl's played by Samara weaving in a way that somehow reminds me of Chris Pratt you've had a punch minute dick well like a vulgar Chris Pratt kick him in the desk damn girl well it's great that she's nice to the geek ecole she should probably be more careful of her phrasing when talking to an adolescent boy tomorrow night you me especially after catching him staring at your Tatas et Gro bone am i right you may be thinking that Cole's a little too old to have a babysitter but that's kind of the point this move is all about him growing up from a boy into a man right now he's still too afraid to even learn how to drive and he would rather fuck around with nerd cars than real ones to his father's disappointment during a weird first-person POV shot Cole's parents get ready to go on a vacation and/or try to get an interview with Ironman and they bring in B to watch over and wink at Cole not appropriate B hotness aside I can see why Cole loves having B as his babysitter after all they spend the evening having a slow-motion dance party with Scott Pilgrim levels of stylization they also have one of those force-fed conversations about pop culture that always feels really bacon overwritten to me will in Gollum get her inside the lair ripley personally drops off the egg it sounds like they're playing a ready player one themed D&D camp after a night full of rear-projection fight scene reenactments and tea hang all over the couch be compounds her irresponsible flirting with a Class A misdemeanor of supplying alcohol to a minor man this chick is the worst babysitter ever I mean look now even the plants are drunk BPUT scold the bed but instead of going to sleep he hops on the phone to text with Melanie he tells her that he hears be having friends over downstairs and an imaginative Melanie encourages him to go see what they're up to when he does he sees that they're in the middle of a full-blown credit sequence again with some Scott Pilgrim like style as we learn all of their names follow one of these things is not like the others these teenagers straight from a photo shoot play spin-the-bottle in a scene that could have been ripped straight from an 80 sex comedy and that is not a compliment B turns her attention to the outlier of the group that Sam B kid who's getting pretty uncomfortable with all the sex titude going on don't worry Sammy my man B just wants to kiss ya and you know stab you in the head right goal yeah in case you forgot this is a horror movie and as sacrifice Samuel screams and leaks blood B tells him that he's helping to fulfill a great purpose his kill is capped off with some goblet filling and a quick evil dead gang this baby-sitters club is apparently chartered by Satan things can get messy when you make a deal with the devil and these sexy teens are all hoping to get different things they've been wishing for unfortunately we're now stuck with these sexy teens as characters and man are they awful look at this shit that would go viral so hard I mean nobody's done human sacrifice people have always done human sacrifice yeah but like not in America with hot people oh look Bela Thorne's talking about social media and being hot meta maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could understand her lines but she can't even properly say sacrifice Samuel I've got sacrifice hanging out all over me I'm sorry what was that sacrifice Samuel yep that's where I thought you said hey annoying teens how about another random pop-culture reference what's in the box Thanks you're so good at making me hate you inside this box that B breaks out is a devil book that requires blood of the innocent tor and B tells our friends that about to head upstairs for more of that virgin juice Cole runs back to his room and calls the police that makes plans to protect himself with pockets an or a pocket knife his first line of defense though is pretending to be asleep when they come in and inspect him confident that he took the drug shop B gave him earlier oh great so you're telling me that poor Plant actually got roofied apparently B's not looking to kill Cole but rather tap into as well of chase blood that top-shelf pure shit oh okay Cole so you're like their blood dealer it could be worse at least you don't have to hang out with them what happens when you kill someone it loos like all day Instagram followers oh my god Chuck would it would it suck as much as this dialog Cole waits until they leave and then tries to escape through his window but his plan is cut short by a genuinely good scare and a case of lightheadedness caused by having his blood drawn wears a cup of OJ when you need it Cole wakes up to some sexy man abs which are just one part of this tableau of the worst Millennials have to offer they start to grill him about how much he's seen but then the cops show up to break down the door and get a fire poker through the eye courtesy of that max guy the fire poker cop shoots Allison Bela thorns character who flies across the room in a ridiculous manner coupled with an earlier kick from Max that sent Cole flying it's starting to feel like Freddy vs. Jason up in this bitch the second cop has his throat slit by B and as he dies he covers King Bach's character John with blood for a second time that night then max finishes off the first cop by grabbing the fire poker and ripping it up through its skull I've seen fire pokers through the eye before but never with that kind of follow up Bravo Allison cries about the bullet in her boob and in doing so actually got me to really laughter watch my nipple oh my god Cole takes the opportunity to try and get away from the cult and although John chases after him a shove from Cole and a toy car on the ground sends the king of vine over the banister and down to a gnarly death since a pointy award ends up going straight through his neck you gotta hand it to the gore in this movie it is not fucking around the blase baby-sitters club sends max after Cole Max and upstairs the two of them get into a game of vertical tug-of-war careful Cole don't get the things I do for loved by max oh shit he kinda did guess it's time for Cole to be the three-eyed Raven but rather than acquiring some ultimately pointless superpowers colas escapes into the garage and arms himself up with a lighter a blanket and a firework he calls the fat D D isn't dragon tightly clutching his blanket and D he crawls under the house which is apparently infested with full-grown tarantulas - those even live outside of jungles and pet stores as he hides under his blanket Soniya a goth a member of the cult with some pitch-perfect style finds the crawlspace knife in hand she makes her way towards Cole and since he's only a Rocketeer in framing he misses his one shot with the explosive still with the help of some convenient mousetraps Cole was able to get out from under the house and drilled the crawlspace shut behind him trapping Sonia inside with a rocket and its ever shortening fuse the explosion consumed Sonia and sends Cole flying through the air oh wait she's still screaming there there we go max appears out of nowhere to give Cole an approving slow clap for his explosive kill had to take a can to the chest like a champ he chases after Cole but then the kid thinks of bees earlier advice and does in fact kick max in the dick or almost cubed sweetie haha you missed his dead Cole before Max can break Cole's neck they hear the splitter splattery sound of eggs being thrown against Cole's house by Jeremy that bully from earlier hey guys welcome to Jeremy jams be sure to LIKE and subscribe max transforms from murderer to mentor and tells Cole to go kick Jeremy's ass but it doesn't go so well right your ass yeah Cole gets laid out by a paunch and egged in the fights leaving max muy disappointed in him max just wants to see you stand up for yourself little buddy yes see now you'll have his respect while he murders you this Tom Cruise looking motherfucker chases Cole up into his tree house but the old worn down wood breaks away and they both fall towards the ground with Max getting Clayton on his way down damn Cole you lucked out there it's like the game glitched and killed the final boss for you or should I say the penultimate boss since B is still alive and now shooting a frickin gun at Cole he runs across the street to Melanie's house and bursts in to recap the night for her in a face-to-face lay down chat together they hide as B comes over and we get a fun little chase sequence that makes excellent views of both space and vase eventually they escape into a bathroom to make us all feel awkward as we're forced to watch two 12 year olds make sexy eyes at each other and do the kissy foot race thing I guess you could see it as kind of cute but I'd feel much better about it without the Dusty Springfield in the background Cole resolves to fix this mess without putting Melanie in further danger so he runs back to his house while screaming for B to come get it when he gets back home he finds all evidence of the night's activities gone disappeared entirely like the police car from earlier in fact the only thing left is that book of Satan sitting on the counter oh and Allison who's still alive and who attacks Cole in the kitchen she grabs a knife and prepares to kill him but before she can her head blows up courtesy of B with a shotgun holy shit is right that's a lot of head blood B says that Allison was annoying and that she's currently in the middle of cleaning everything up so she can move to a new town and try the whole satanic sacrifice thing again while she Ponder's what to do with Cole he grabs the Satanic literature and threatens to light it on fire B tries to sweet-talk him out of it and even offers a fabrication that they can both use on the cops before running away together winged but a life would be isn't what Cole wants anymore so he likes that devil lid up and makes a run for his life backed by Queen [Music] he's a lot better than Bohemian Rhapsody that memory montage takes him to Melanie's dad's car and without any road experience the kid drives it down the street had a very dangerous speed until he hits a ramp and barrel rolls straight into B through the side of his own house the accident which leaves feathers flying everywhere as all accident should pins be to the floor but she's not even mad cuz that was amazing the car interior house I really didn't see that they have one final pop culture conversation this time name-dropping predator and then B apparently died Cole climbs out of his house to find a bunch of emergency vehicles arriving as well as his worried parents and the movie ends with him telling them that he don't need no babysitter no foul actually there is a mid-credits scene where a firefighter comes inside the house and finds B's body missing she jumps out and presumably kills him while looking all crazy and since I always count these last minute deaths it looks like we're leaving this babysitter killed cow with a tip how many kills happened without parental supervision let's find out and get to the numbers eight people died in the babysitter who which definitely won't get you rehired the victims included six men and only two women a three-to-one ratio of dudes and with the wrong time of 85 minutes we had a kill on average every ten point six three minutes I'll give the golden chainsaw four coolest kill to John I love that one cop kill but this death has the better effects I think plus I was just happy for that character to be gone to all machete for lamest kill we'll go to the firefighter at the end these last minute stinger kills are rarely impressive unless we're talking about your next or final destination and that's it the babysitter was filmed in 2015 but not released until 2017 and although I wasn't a fan plenty of people were so damn it you can decide for yourself if you liked it until next time I'm James Agee nice this has been the kill cow thanks a lot for watching this kill Kyle I want to thank some patrons like Devon L do so esta Jorge Ishak Matthew iams Paige Hanken and the bass cannon Randy Bulger I had such a hard time finding background stuff with movie especially because there's no blu-ray or DVD to put up there if you're watching this the morning it comes out I'm still a Comic Con for a little bit try to find me be good people

Channel: Dead Meat

Views: 13,270,921

Keywords: horror, dead meat, movies, scary, films, kills, kill count, body count, james a. janisse, jaj, pine commander boogie, DMKC, mcg, music video, samara weaving, judah lewis, hana mae lee, babysitters, cult, robbie amell, bella thorne, netflix, leslie bibb, ken marino, emily alyn lind, andrew bachelor, king bach, ron funches

Id: yLxrFxIXAzM

Length: 14min 8sec (848 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 21 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/ShiftyBea]

The Youtube comments are full of 4 particular subjects-

​

Final Destination requests because James mentioned it in this video.

The fact that James dared say the name "King Bach" wrong. So many idiots people are angry at that.

People wondering if James has made this Kill Count before or it's a re-upload.

Folk fuming at the "better than Bohemian Rhapsody" line.

​

Fun, as usual.

[u/PM_Me_British_Stuff]

Am I being stupid or has he already done the babysitter?

[u/ItsTimeLadies]

Oh wow, I was just thinking about this movie earlier last night.

Anyway, I don't think this movie is that good, but when you have a murderous Robbie Amell running around shirtless for a majority of the runtime, does quality really matter? Idts.

[u/SpiderNinja79]

Funny how each main star from Shake it up went downhill and uphill respectfully

[u/stareyedglasses]

Watched this movie last night surprised to see the Kill Count come out the day after I watched the movie.

[u/BallsMahoganey]

Such a disappointment. I heard good things, then I watched it and boy was it bad.

[u/Nightwing5244]

I actually like this movie quite a bit.

[u/[deleted]]

I don't really see the problem, I really enjoyed the movie

[u/GeologicalOpera]

I went and watched this movie after I saw James uploaded this video. It isn't terrible for what it's supposed to be, and it's at least inventive with some of its kills.

Given that its just a Netflix movie, it could've been a whole lot worse than it was.