Bird Box (2018) KILL COUNT

[Music] welcome to the killcount where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies I'm James Agee nice and today we're looking at the birds to Lands End just kidding we're looking at Bird box released on Netflix in December of 2018 I don't know what was in the water this past holiday season but I have never seen a movie get more requests for a kill count than bird box seriously y'all wouldn't shut the hell up about it so just for you I figured out a way to legally get Netflix movie files in an editable format so I could cover the stamp thing so don't say I never did nothing for you bird box is based on a 2014 novel by Josh malar man that takes place in a world where people have to blindfold themselves whenever they're outside lest they see the horrific supernatural beings floating about that are so magnificently awful they cause the beholder to commit suicide it's superficially similar to a quiet place denying the characters of a sense to survive but it is worth noting that the novel bird box came out years before a quiet place was made it's also worth noting that this movie is just okay I can't for the life of me understand why I got so popular so fast other than I guess the memes as far as the movie itself goes it's a bit too long and pretty poorly paced and it doesn't explore all of its intriguing ideas in the most satisfying way but that's not to say I hated it either I still found it to be a mostly fun watch helped by the excellent cast headed by Sandra Bullock how many kills self-inflicted or otherwise took place during this mediocre movie let's find out and count them up [Music] the movie begins with my girl sandy be talking to a couple of kids about an upcoming family vacation that's about to have some real intense rules under no circumstance are you allowed to take off your blindfold if I find that you have I will hurt you and don't even think about asking me to pull over for a potty break the kids who she calls boy and girl are instructed to never say a word and Sandy stresses the point that if they look without a blindfold on they will die they grab a couple of birds and stick them in a shoebox then head outside with their blindfolds on and follow a string to a canoe that sandy has stored on the riverbank and then they're off on a fantastically dangerous sight not seeing adventure week up to five years earlier where we find Mallory Sandra Bullock's character painting in a studio apartment she and her sister Jessica are played by American horror star Sarah Paulson watch a news report about how a senseless mass suicide epidemic is spreading from Romania to the rest of Europe and also like everywhere else not a great world to bring a baby into which is bad news for the pregnant Mallory during a visit to check on the baby with a woman named dr. Lapham we learn how much Mallory is not looking forward to being a mother she's even considering adoption question mark blue flower under we have the hospital she witnesses a woman she had noticed earlier wearing a very burnt orange tracksuit now smashing her noggin against the glass window looks like the suicide epidemic has landed stateside and although we don't see the final moment of this girl's life her persistence and the loud crash we hear as Mallory runs away makes me feel pretty secure and putting her on the list Mallory gets in the car with Jessica and tells her the suicide sickness is here but that's pretty obvious to anyone not wearing a blindfold cuz there be vehicles crashing and police scrambling her whereas the sisters trying to get out of there and get back to someplace safe although we see some explosions and plenty of crazy violence we don't get any definitive death submits the chaos that is until they usually cheery Jessica is suddenly overcome with a look of pure dread and falls silent as she drives her car into a kick-ass slow-motion vehicle flip oh and it's a perfect 180 rooftop landing nice job Jess Mallory pulls herself from the wreckage and watches as her sister casually walks into the street gives her one last look of sadness then steps in front of an oncoming garbage truck man now Cuba Gooding jr. is gonna get away with murder for sure Mallory is left alone as more explosions in car just happen around her and I'll just go ahead and include this one dude on the couch since he's either dead or a nyquil driver and it ain't nyquil driving time as Mallory is knocked to the ground by the hoards of people fleeing invisible terror a woman named Lydia goes to help her despite her husband Douglas telling her there's no time to be a good Samaritan sure enough right as she reaches Mallory side Lydia begins to hear voices Malorie has helped up by another dude Tom as Douglas watches through a window his wife Lydia climb into a burning vehicle and die in the ensuing explosion man I can't believe Lydia didya then Tom and another woman Lucy help Malory get to safety inside the home of Greg a character played by BD Wong who's not a little prick like Henry Wu they join a sizeable group of others seeking shelter including a sweet looking older woman a rapper who's got beef with Eminem and an employee of TS motherfuckin a he handle shit after briefly entertaining the idea that this could be some kind of bio warfare attack they realized that all these suicides going on are actually resulting from the victims having seen something if you look at it it makes you crazy or it makes you want to hurt yourself no it makes you kill yourself either way better break out the blackout curtains right about now after the TV signal joins the phones and going down Tom tends to Mallory who tells him about her sister's suicide as well as what that Lydia lady was saying before she died her mom that woman was my wife and she wasn't talking to her mother a mother's been dead ten years don't get too intrigued by that aspect of these monsters though cuz it's one of many things this movie doesn't bother exploring further later on while Mallory and her bun in the oven are enjoying a prime sleeping spot safe away from the spooky shadows outside the movie briefly flashes forward again to her boy and girl rollin rollin rollin on the river but nothing really happens in this flash-forward and honestly I think it's pointless for this movie to have two timelines like this it kind of takes away from the storyline in the house knowing where Mallory and these kids are gonna wind up when the movie jumps to the past again we get a purge like pick up of five bodies to add to the cow victims who apparently weren't able to make it to Greg's porch and instead died outside his very cozy looking house damn that place like a comfy cottage on the counter it's been a few days now and a radio broadcast is telling survivors what to do and what not to do as long as you don't look at those things you should be fine they hear a knock at the door and after Mallory takes a defensive position with Douglass's shotgun Tom agrees to let the woman pleading on the other side of the door inside the house this woman Olympia is also pregnant which is bad news for the group since they're already low on food supplies through not only can all stars here in the maternity ward Greg gets an idea to use his houses security cameras to see what's going on outside reasoning that if they're just watching whatever's out there on a digital screen it may not be as lethal as looking at it directly this guy eclipses they strapped him to a chair to protect him from himself and after everyone leaves the room he turns on his security cameras for the boringest binge-watch of all time well he does that everyone tends to their various needs whether it be pre natal pills drops of alcohol or eiffel's of booty not a chance the world's ending baby so you never know before long Greg sees some leaves blowing and a scary shadow appear on his camera feet and it becomes obvious that digital image or not whatever he's looking at is leaving him pretty messed up and so after the others enter his office to find him thrashing around Greg kills himself by knocking over his chair and breaking his head open against a stone mantel damn dude survived numerous outbreaks of murderous dinosaurs but couldn't make it through a single marathon of security cam footage another night comes and with it some character development Olympia and Mallory become pregnancy pals Mallory walks in on that Felix dude machine gunning that Lucy chick and Tom strikes up a flirty friendship with Mallory because damn he looks good in the moonlight Back to the Future Marty where Mallory is 14 hours into a riverboat adventure with those kids they hear a dude yelling out that he wants to help them and that they should remove their blindfolds which has caused enough for Mallory to pull out a gun and wave it around blindly the river mana costs her and screams at her to take her blindfold off sounding all sorts of crazy although he assures Mallory that what he's seen is beautiful she knows that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and right now she'd be holding a machete a couple of swings to the shoulder and neck leave the river man bleeding and screaming after her as she paddles away and since he sinks below the surface I think it's safe to put this crazy SOB on the count in our first kill that's actually a murderer back at Greg's boarded up house the survivors that finally run out of food and this new Charlie he played by get outs lil rel Howery suggests that they try to restock from the grocery story works out to get there they have to blackout all the windows of their vehicle and rely solely on this juice GPS GPS you know like GPS during their drive we see two rotting corpses in the streets so I'll go ahead and add them to the cow oh and there are nasty crunches they drive over them to justice people yep just a speed bump a fleshy bone filled speed bone at one point some spooky noises outside and the HDD on the dashboard indicate that their vehicle was completely surrounded and the shadows that pass overhead indicate that the suicide inducing creatures are paying them a visit but they're able to weather the storm and follow the GPS into the parking lot of the grocery store where they stick a crash landing you have arrived they carefully leave the vehicle and make their way inside the store where Douglas wastes no time heading straight for the essentials we get some character development when Mallory and Tom talk about how they grew up in towns that weren't too far away from each other could have been your your babysitter babysitter you only say that cuz we're all gonna die nah sandy he's saying that cuz you find girl Mallory finds those birds that will eventually be her whitewater rafting companions and Tom picks up some equally pragmatic walkie-talkies boy what the fuck are birds and walkie-talkies doing at a local booking grocery store the shipping Costco doggy Doug says they should just stay at the store where they have everything they need but Mallory refuses because she doesn't want the other still at the house to starve to death before this debate can get going properly though they hear a pounding on the other side of a door that goes to the loading dock and Charlie recognizes the voice on the other side as a coworker this co-worker nicknamed fish fingers you starts to rave and scream about how he wants them to see what's outside and the birds go nuts as a warning like they're coalmine progenitors did in days of yore as the altercation escalates we see another couple of bodies lying dead out in the loading dock so we'll throw them on the count even though I can't determine the gender of the one in the back meaning our pie charts gonna have a spot of gray in it meanwhile fish fingers is trying to fish finger blast his way inside the store but before he can force the door open entirely Charlie plays the reluctant hero and charges at him knocking both of them out into the loading dock as Lucy and Tom close the door behind them we hear double laugh tell Charlie to look out at the beautiful sights he sees and then we hear a sharp stabbing sound and see a bunch of blood flow underneath the door looks like Charlie has expired past a shelf date and we know that it's Charlie's blood for sure after we hear fish fingers continuing to plead as the others leave the store that night Douglas and Mallory share a drink and discuss whether assholes have a longer lifespan than the less douche ally incline the best way to answer questions like that is with the field test so Felix and Lucy pull a real doucher move and sneak out from the rest of the group stealing the car and stranding the others so they can go live and sexual tatted-up list together sometime later as Mallory tries and fails to reach anyone on their supermarket radio olympia makes a judgment call and lets a new stranger into the house he immediately prays that the alter of Mallory and her shotgun and introduces himself as Gary Gary says he just barely escaped with his life after a group of psychotic people from a nearby mental institution not wearing blindfolds attacked the people he was with they took us outside and they forced our eyes open so that we would have to look at the creatures although it's an intriguing town Douglas is less than sympathetic new guy you had a great visit we really loved meeting you no fuck gone but the non assholes don't want to condemn Gary to death so Cheryl smashes the base over Douglass's head and they dragged him out to the garage for some solitary confinement you live here now dug into you a tearful Olympia tells Malory that she only extended Gary the same favor they did to her and then gets Malory to promise her that she'll take care of her kid if anything happens to her I guess it takes a Mallory to raise a village or something like that more time passes and as this mostly happy family jams out to Dionne Warwick on the radio Mallory has some stomach cramps that are quickly upstaged by Olympia's dramatic water breaking but don't worry Mallory there's room for two at this water park everyone begins tending to these two ladies in labor except for Gary who puts on some classical music and takes out some drawing seedsman work out hey what you got there Gare bear eldritch whores some scary pictures to show in the dark that's not when Malory gives birth to her little baby boy Gary gets real excited oh hi he's even got a glint in his eye that's cuz Gary cray-cray as evidenced by him flinging open the blinds like he's trying to evict a vampire he knocks out Tom with some canned goods and then krazee-eyez his way over to Douglas who we expose this to the outside world by opening up the garage door behind him sucks for Douglas but anyone else think those crazy eyes look crazy beautiful I mean damn Gary walks into the maternity ward right as Olympia gives birth to a wailing little baby girl and Gary's got one hell of a baby shower gift look at this Gary no Malorie ducks and covers but Olympia's not so lucky she looks outside and falls victim to what she sees thankfully Malorie is able to rest the baby girl out of Olympia's arms before she kills herself by running at the window and throwing herself out of it oh and it's not one of those smooth window dives either that was quite the fumble Midwife Cheryl tries to keep her eyes closed but Gary forces them open so she can see the beautiful terrors as well and after her eyes also get Cloudy with a Chance of crazy she too kills herself by stabbing herself in the neck a number of times with a pair of scissors that she had just used to cut an umbilical cord scissors man tools of life and tools of death Gary tries to get the kids from Mallory so he can expose their eyes outward as well and this is another concept that I wish the movie explored more like why is he want these babies to see the creatures will they become new converts or something I don't know in any case Douglas shows up to save the day with his shotgun and his eyes shut tight I'm not sure how wise it is to blindly shoot a gun in a room with two new babies in it but Douglas does manage to hit Gary in the shoulder during a reload though Gary runs into him and knocks him through the upstairs banister and then finishes Douglas off with that pair of scissors which he drives directly into Douglass's chest wait did I mention that he stabs him twice cuz he stabs him twice see told ya Tom comes to and he and Gary engaged in some tug Oh gonna war but the Victor and the spoils are determined off screen we only hear the shots as we see Mallory upstairs but since tom is the one who snuggles up to her underneath the blanket that means we can put Gary the crazy guy on the couch with an off-screen death with that episode of insanity over with it's down to Mallory Tom and the babies so might as well jump ahead 5 years oh sure I guess not like anything interesting might have happened to these people or society at large in the span of half a decade the kids are no longer newborns obviously and they're being trained by Mallory to survive in their blind new world it's a tough parenting gig for sure but at least Mallory and Tom have each other for sexy smooching one night they hear a voice coming over the radio that tells them there's a safe compound with a community of survivors and that the best way for them to reach it is by taking the river the voice warns them however that there's a spot of Rapids at one point where they'll have to expose themselves and look out without a blindfold to navigate properly Mallory is skeptical of the radio voices plan but Tom's an eternal optimist he's also the much warmer parent telling boy and girl tales of his childhood until Mallory cuts them short with a strict sentence of bedtime see he wants to give these kids hope and a reason to live into the future while she just wants to focus on surviving in the present it's a solid thematic discussion which reminds me to remind you all that kill counts are just for jokes and review purposes and aren't a good replacement for actually watching the movie burn box just like every other movie I cover has a lot more ideas and character development that I gloss over in the interest of goofs one day this makeshift family is in a nearby building enjoying a nice pop-tart feet this is strawberry tastes like well actually that's what corn syrup and ribbo floppin tastes like but sure they're mass-produced chow down sesh is interrupted when they hear a car pull up outside also when that car pulls up we see a body on the ground that's way too decomposed for me to determine the gender so another unknown goes on the list survival mode kicks in and they make a plan for Mallory and the kids to get back home while Tom confronts their new visitors but right away these folks are bad news since they tell Tom to take off his blindfold when Tom hears one of them spot Mallory and the kids he opens fire killing two of them right away a dude and a lady with some shotgun blast to the chest he has to take off his blindfold to find a route behind the others which lets him shoot and kill two more of the dudes there again with blasts Liuba torso that leaves only one guy left from the group who is already heading through the trees to get to Mallon the kids tom follows him but when the wind starts blowing up a gal and he hears some voices behind him he turns around and quickly succumbs to the power of the unspeakable forces lucky for Mallory Tom's will is just as strong as his muscle and he uses his last bit of sanity to shoot and kill the final attacker dropping him to the fluor unfortunately one can only be so strong and our boy Tom kills himself by putting the gun up to his chin and pulling the trigger off-screen once again we only hear the shot as we watch Mallory react to it but there's no ambiguity here she and the kids are now on their own Mallory packs up the essentials and we're back where the movie started with her telling the kids that times are about to get rough for them and with that we're finally all caught up 42 hours into their two-day river ride by now they've reached the rapids and having under the blanket huddle where Mallory says one of the kids will have to look out for her since she cameras doing it or else they could all three potentially die ala no I will decide okay I will decide skinniest just give me a second okay but Mallory's steely survival mode breaks down when she thinks back to memories of Olympia and Tom and instead she decides that nobody's going to look after all it doesn't take long for nature to best this mode and flip it straight the fuck over sending the three blindfolded occupants overboard Mallory looks like the cap from homeward bound as she's dragged down the river rapids but eventually she's able to hear boy yelling for her and pick him up before getting over to the shore where girl is ringing a bell to let them know where she and the birds are waiting they head into the woods where we get a prime example of why you shouldn't do that stupid bird box challenge when Mallory trips on a tree root and tumbles down a hill the kids now alone start to hear voices and whispers that sound like Mallory telling them to take off their blindfold to blindfold off yes it is little girl don't do it Malorie here's the kids talking to the wind and yells at them not to listen then manages to feel her way through the darkness and collect both kids once again then she starts hearing voices herself and they sound like Tom asking her for help but the unseen beings quickly dropped the facade and start chasing her through the forest as they knock down trees like a goddamn smoke monster Mallory follows a bunch of bird noises straight to the front door of a bird box house she bangs at the door and begs for them to let her in and thankfully karma comes back around and the people inside acquiesce after a quick I check with a flashlight Mallory and the kids are determined to be okay so they let inside the community which is revealed to be a school for the blind they've got a real nice community in the back with a canopy overhead to allow safe sunlight in and a whole bunch of birds to warn them of any nearby dangers oh and lots of good boys too Kelly as son Mallory and the kids let their birds join their beaky brethren above and then see that Mallory's baby doctor is here too dr. Lapham asks the kids what their names are and although they answer her bleh Mallory takes the opportunity to rectify this nominal oversight demon girl Olympia after her mother and boy tah after that hot buff dude who helped save Mallory and raise the two of them the movie ends with Mallory finally accepting motherhood and some hope that these kids will have a chance at a normal future you know besides the unspeakable terrors that are always awaiting them outside I may not be able to see but damn it I can still count here I'll show you at the numbers hashtag bird box challenge yeah but seriously don't do this Oh just kidding I actually have to read this teleprompter I counted 27 deaths in bird box and the victims consisted of 7 women 18 men and two victims who I just couldn't tell that's ok they'll learn to live with ambiguity with the wrong time of 124 minutes that left us with a kill on average every four point five nine minutes I'll give the golden chainsaw four coolest kill to Cheryl who straight stabbed herself in the neck with a pair of scissors a whole bunch of times oh hey to make sure the deed was done lady to all machete 4 lamest kill could go to any of the off-screen deaths or random bodies but let's give it to Gary cuz I'd rather have seen that bastard die after everything he did and that's it bird box came out in 2018 on Netflix which claims that over 45 million accounts watched the movie in its first week out I guess that's what happens with a movie release during the holidays when people would rather watch a suicide epidemic than spend actual time with her family I'll be back next week with another one-off episode but until then I'm James Agee nice this has been the kill count thanks a lot for watching this week's kill Kyle I won't thank a couple of patrons like Ally hagar jarvis fitzpatrick nate singer and ebony griffin if you guys could do me a huge favor any movie requests you have just sent to dead meat movies at gmail.com when so many people leave requests as comments on videos it kind of clogs it up and prevents me from seeing comments on the actual content dead meat movies at gmail.com alright be good people

Channel: Dead Meat

Views: 17,321,255

Rating: 4.8968816 out of 5

Keywords: horror, dead meat, movies, scary, films, kills, kill count, body count, james a. janisse, jaj, pine commander boogie, susanne bier, eric heisserer, josh malerman, novel, sandra bullock, blindfold, challenge, see, sight, trevante rhodes, jacki weaver, rosa salazar, lil rel howery, bd wong, john malkovich, machine gun kelly, sarah paulson, tom hollander, danielle macdonald, birth, netflix, huge, meme, memes, birds, blind, DMKC

Id: tmQXQ3W1PGg

Length: 20min 52sec (1252 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 11 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/RopeTuned]

Thanks! Thought the movie was overrated but at least people will stop spamming every video

[u/omgitsnotshiki]

cant wait to see the memes

[u/FriskeyVsWorld]

Not my cup of tea, per say but I’ll watch it anyway for the support. Nothing wrong with getting the hits.

[u/mo9184]

Thank you James for stating just how mediocre this movie is. I really don’t get the hype

[u/TheKazarka]

Oh. Birdbox. Cries in texas chainsaw massacre

[u/SarcasticRobin]

second bird related KC in a row, I think James is telling us that he really likes birds, or Lucy is controlling him so she could have birds

[u/Khalbrae]

Channelbot picked this up nicely I see. Good =D

This film is easily accessible on Netflix to stream.

[u/DaMudkipper]

This was one of the most whelming movies I've ever seen.

[u/Khalbrae]

Also /u/deadmeatjames.

I think it is not technically illegal to copy a stream output for the purposes of editing a commentary video provided you ditch your recording when finished. Got to show that good faith fair use ;)