THE ALPHA TEST - A Trash Sci-Fi Horror

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pronounced his name right but i don't care this is the same guy who made the amazing movie curse of the none remember when i covered curse of the nun in my video about the nun movies yeah that movie was pretty good i can't okay and i'm very excited to announce that this movie has some of the same actors from curse of the none so you know it's good jd was right just a cold unfilling computer on one hand i like the decision to make the robot kind of creepy looking it lends itself pretty well to the ominous tone of the movie but then again if you think about it for more than two seconds it starts to fall apart why would the designers make the robots look like this who the hell would purchase a home assistant that looks like this a lot of people are already scared of introducing ai like this into their life but yeah if you make it look like this then i'm sure they'll be really open to the idea is the black around the eyes really necessary i guess making them look like 15 year old goth girls that just started using makeup is something you could do uh i probably wouldn't have done that but you know you do you i love how they don't even try to make the hands of the robot look like robot hands they're so clearly human hands you can see the tendons are you telling me that the company put all of their effort into making the hands look like human hands but they couldn't give less of a [ __ ] about the face they spent at least 10 years perfecting the hands but by the time they got to the face they were really worn out they're like just whatever just throw something up there but make sure to give her eyeliner that's really important and the robot blinks throughout the entire movie what gotta keep those eyes hydrated you know when the robot blinks it applies wd-40 so it's eyes don't squeak when it when it looks around and the mask that they gave the actress has like this open back half that shows a bunch of exposed mechanical parts and i don't have a problem with this but it's so clearly a poorly painted rubber part of the mask this completely destroys the viewer's immersion it's not a convincing robot in the slightest she doesn't even move like a robot and apparently this is the alpha like the first version for the public i don't think they definitively say that but the movie is called the alpha test this company did a fantastic job mimicking the movement and the hands of a human body but just didn't really care about the rest it still has a robotic sounding voice i'm sorry because that would be the tough part giving it a human sounding voice that's the hard part at least they remember to give her tits for a low budget movie it's not a huge deal but i mean come on it must not be that hard to create a convincing back portion to this mask and why not give her gloves that would solve the hand problem all that aside let's just get into this [Music] so yeah in this movie there's this guy named jd his sister lily and their mom and dad jd won a coding contest at his tech company so his reward was a free alpha home assistant robot surprisingly when they unveiled the robot the mother is the only person that is apprehensive about it lily and their dad are both like oh sweet a robot even though it looks creepy as [ __ ] have any of these people seen a sci-fi movie before i didn't know it was possible to exist in a first world country and not have seen a movie about a destructive robot but hey i guess these people are fine with it the dad is like yeah it'll clean the house let's fire our cleaning lady she's a [ __ ] and the way he says it god we have mimi fire maybe she's a [ __ ] this guy he acts like a 16 year old throughout the entire movie dude that's awesome congrats man so yeah this family just got a cleaning robot for free which will do all the cleaning around the house for free 24 7. but for whatever reason they decide not to fire the obsolete cleaning lady and it's not just that her job is now obsolete she's also a massive so the [ __ ] did you say give me a little [ __ ] like she bullies the robot in multiple scenes throughout the movie and she's mean to the family too like why do they keep her around they have a legit reason to fire her but they just don't because the movie needs her to be around to like make the robot evil you know it's such a poor way to develop the plot you know because it doesn't make any sense especially since they talk about firing her but they just don't because i guess they decided to not save money when they first get the alpha the dad says to the mom you'll never know she's there are you kidding me look at that freakish thing how can you not notice this thing apparently the company gave these alpha robots the ability to learn and process emotions she's designed to feel bad whenever she does something wrong it motivates her to learn [Applause] [Music] i don't know why the designers would ever give this home assistant the ability to become angry or sad that just seems like you're asking for a catastrophe to happen and there doesn't really seem to be any benefit to that but according to jd they did this on purpose so they can learn from their mistakes what isn't that what software updates are for if a machine makes a mistake then just update the software so it no longer makes that mistake allowing the machine to feel certain things is a terrible idea how can you possibly code a robot and not see that emotion would be a massive hindrance to it jd's sister lily in this movie doesn't have many friends and her dad is mean to her and apparently she gets bullied at school so she forms a bond with the robot jd gets all upset with her he says over and over it's not a person it's just a machine and he knows that the machine can learn and process emotion i'm just kidding i'm trying to tell jokes like jd like jd knows that the alpha is emotionally processing this information like a human being would so why would he openly degrade its existence the only person with any sense in this movie is the mother she tries to sever any sort of emotional connection between the family and the robot by putting the robot into the barn but of course by the time she does this lily and the robot have already formed a connection so it's too late but lily nudes me [Music] lily is not the brightest person on earth she forms a pact with this very scary looking machine that neither of them will let people bully them anymore i won't let mimi bully me in the future good that's a responsible thing to do so yeah as the movie progresses the cleaning lady is increasingly mean to the alpha [ __ ] because she feels like she's being replaced which she is when the family just forgot to fire her for whatever reason while the robot is giving the dad a foot rub the dad's watching a movie and he points out a really gory scene to jd and the alpha sees this and it's like oh so that's how humans work and i guess it learned how to kill people jd knows how this robot works and he's in the room and he can see the robot watching the tv how does he not see a problem with this so yeah the alpha ends up killing the maid i finally got a better job [ __ ] you i quit one of the most important plot devices in this movie is a beer bottle and i'm not joking it's so dumb when they first get the robot the dad asks the robot to open a beer bottle by using the side of a table and like popping it off that way by slamming it down seriously this is a very important plot device and of course the alpha doesn't know how to do this so it just breaks the bottle and they're all surprised you know like oh my god i really thought this robot would have this meaningless useless skill and then he asks the alpha to do it again later on when he's watching the movie and obviously it failed the first time so it's gonna fail this time too it's not like it was practicing so obviously it fails again and he's like oh my god i can't believe it this robot is useless it can't do the stupid party trick that i wanted to do so jd wastes his time and programs the robot to be able to do this later the dad brings the alpha to a liquor store for whatever reason you know like when you're shopping for booze and you want to bring your robot friend with you and there's this other guy there with his alpha i guess they're all over the place now that's weird everyone's buying these creepy ass robots that makes sense so the dad you know being a 16 year old here alpha show him the trick oh that's fine really really it's good you're gonna like it he's trying to show off his alpha the alpha refuses because it made a pact with lily to not be pushed around or bullied so the alpha and the dad get in a big fight and i bet you won't guess how the alpha kills the dad later [Music] yep with a broken beer bottle the characters learn that the alpha is weak to water the mother thinks it's a brilliant idea to trick the alpha into like walking to a lake with her so she can push the alpha into the lake and kill it wouldn't it be much easier just to get like a glass of water go up to the alpha and be like hey i think there's a bug on your back let me get this for you and then just pour the water down its head boom it's done for the alpha has adhd or something and it's like oh what's in the bar and i want to see the horses why does this robot have desires it's so stupid so the mother and the alpha in this barn she shoots the alpha and it flops over for some reason it should immediately try and stand back up again right it's a machine doesn't have vital organs or anything but yeah it just lays there for some reason maybe it's playing dead who knows for whatever reason the mom doesn't keep shooting it when it's laying there she kind of runs around and freaks out the robot wakes up randomly and attacks her the mother escapes the robot they find their way back to the house and she hides in a running shower the robot comes in and she just kind of like sits there you have like shampoo and stuff right just take whatever you can and start like squirting it at the robot some of it will get in its head i'm sure but yeah the alpha just throws a bunch of random stuff at her before pulling her out and jamming a crowbar into her when lily finally comes to her senses and finds out that the alpha is actually a machine and is killing people she's like i don't want to be your friend anymore we're not friends you're evil so she runs away and jumps in the pool so lily's in the pool just you know chilling and the robot comes out with a gun and starts shooting at her lily dives into the water so the bullets can't reach her and then like a complete [ __ ] she swims up to the robot so the robot just bonks her head onto the side of the pool miraculously the robot got lily out of the pool like what did it use one of those pool net things that you get bugs out with and stabbed a note in her hands that said friends forever that lily drew before because their friendship is over they're no longer friends oh yeah and the alpha has a six shooter but it shoots nine times at lily in the pool and that's ignoring the fact that the gun had been used twice before once by the dad and once by the mother and it was never reloaded so unless this revolver can hold 11. shots the robot has jd tied up in a bathtub the daughter kills the alpha while it's distracted with jd by dumping water on it and putting it in the shower which anybody could have done very easily but i guess they just didn't think about doing that until just now oh yeah and then she slams its head in a door as it's like crawling away and i guess that kills it because that makes sense you know when you slam like a titanium head in a door and how that can really do some damage jd and lily exit the house to find a bunch of other alphas just roaming around one has a shotgun and it kills them both yeah apparently the dumbass company that made these robots made it so they all shared like the same memory in a cloud that's a great idea when you give them all emotion and free will i can hardly see how this will backfire it's the toughest thing i've ever seen in a sci-fi i think ever it's like this is the dumbest sci-fi i've ever seen in my life remember the movie replicas with keanu reeves yeah i like that more and i mean come on if you're gonna make a robot into like your dream goth gf then at least give her a black wig and big tits jeez what were these people thinking at least nobody tried to [ __ ] it in this movie that's one thing i can be thankful for you know what kind of machine doesn't dress like a goth tries to kill you but also sounds great yeah you guessed it this video is sponsored by raycon i've been using raycon's new everyday e25s for months now and it's not just because they've been a generous sponsor of my channel i genuinely really like them they have a great noise isolating fit they have six hours of play time seamless bluetooth pairing they're half the price of other premium audio brands and they don't hurt my ears while i'm wearing them they're just a really great choice for earbuds so if you haven't picked up one of these already go to buy raycon dot com slash elvis alien to save 15 off your order and thank you so much for your converse sponsor this video i really really appreciate it so yeah guys that's gonna do it for me thank you so much for watching if you have any recommendations for a movie i should cover please put it in the comment section down below don't forget to visit alienclothing.com i'm so proud of the company right now and i can only thank you guys for that so thank you so much that's gonna do it guys thank you so much for watching and i'll see you in the next one [Music] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Elvis The Alien

Views: 1,255,071

Rating: 4.9609599 out of 5

Keywords: Elvis the Alien, ElvistheAlien, satire, movie review, movie, the alpha test, elvis the alien movie review, elvisthealien movie review, alpha test, world's worst

Id: KXPPgFerepQ

Length: 16min 34sec (994 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 17 2020