First Date Mistakes To Avoid

hi I'm coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of this newsletter is going to be first date mistakes to avoid well I've got a email here from a viewer who obviously made a bunch of blunders on his first date and obviously it has gotten in the way of him trying to set a second date and we gotta kind of I had a coach years ago he used to compare first dates he set up for your first date where the girl is kind of like the Superbowl and I mean it's like you either win or you lose you either when if you win obviously you kiss maybe you hook up on the first day but in other words you pass enough of her tests to the point where at the end of day the next day she's thinking herself hey that was a really great guy and she thinks hey I'd like to go out would that do it again and so when you call she's excited to hear from you now if you [ __ ] up and you in essence talk her out of liking you out of sleeping with you usually when you call her you text she'll either ignore you or her responses will be lukewarm or she'll tell you that she's busy anything other than to basically tell you that you pretty much [ __ ] it up and you believe your chances with her because women want to let you down easy because they probably encountered enough guys in the past if they're like most attractive women to where they realize that being honest with a guy sometimes it's going to piss off the dude so it's better to let the dude down gently and let him just kind of figure out the reason that she's being so difficult to get a hold of or she doesn't respond all of your Texas or ignores a lot of them is because she really doesn't want to see you again and she's hoping that eventually you figure that out and you just kind of go away which is what most guys do when they screw things up and so a lot of times what you know I know as much like what I used to do when I was younger I meet a girl and I really had chemistry with her we go out on a first date and I just had no idea that I was doing and saying things and the date that made me look weak they look made me look approval seeking and instead of just having a good time I'm all focused on the seriousness of the relationship whether or not it's going to turn into a relationship or we're going to get together or something's going to happen between us as opposed to just hanging out having fun and hooking up when the opportunity presented itself so we're going to go through a few things in his email and I got a great quote it's us from Confucius and he said success depends upon previous preparation and without such preparation there is sure to be failure and so the idea is is when you come to my website is like all these videos and the articles the whole point of me offering these here is basically I'm helping guys implement what I teach in my book and so by critiquing what they're doing right what they're doing wrong in the interaction everybody that's watching the video or reading the article can pick up on where this guy's going right and wrong because that way if I attack a problem from like your thousand different angles when you watch enough of these different scenarios you pick up and what's good about that is that you don't have to date a hundred different women to pick up on these things you can watch enough videos from enough different guys who are making mistakes on their dates so when you're faced with a similar situation when you're on a date of your own you can remember a dozen or so different scenarios where guys are in similar situations the things they did right the things that they did wrong and it's almost as if that experience becomes your own as if you lived it when just at taking like a fifty thousand foot view where you understand what I teach in my book but when you're able when you're following me going along explaining what a guy is doing right wrong you can kind of pick up on that and avoid those same mistakes yourself that's the benefit of sharing all this stuff is that there's I mean you're dealing with people in every society and every continent on the earth applying the same things that obviously if you're watching this video that you're in the process of applying makes it really easy like I say in the article I did a while back the best way to improve your success quickly in any area of your life is to all the success of others am i learning obviously from other people who are experiencing the same things that you're experiencing the same fears the same doubts the same limiting beliefs you're able to adapt and learn that much quicker so your growth curve instead of being long like this gets condensed to a really short period of time and so he says cutting to the chase the a tip typicality of my situation comes from a girl I'm interested in she appears to be depressed and she takes anti-anxiety medication her social habits are not very congruent with mine ie she smokes weed she parties a lot and doesn't seem to laugh much well that tells me that she's obviously not a very happy woman one of the things that I look for and a woman that I'm gonna either ask out on a date is I want to see the girl look into my eyes and smile and not break eye contact right away because that communicates that a she's happy and B she's interested in me and C it also communicates that she has confidence because a lot of times I'll see a really pretty girl and I'll look into her eyes and she right away looks away she looks down just in a submissive like I'm not worthy there's a difference between confidence and there's a difference between women that just have a low self-esteem or self-esteem that's just simply not on your level and so those are things that before you even open your mouth right away your pre-screening your pre-qualifying the women that you're talking to he says whereas I regularly exercise and I take care of my mind and body he says the reason I'm interested in her obviously is because I find her attractive I receive us guys tend to be visual creatures and we share a lot of outlooks in life she's a neuroscience nerd and we have similar ambitions she also is a fairly nice person well the thing that is that obviously you really like this girl and you're physically attracted to her and I one thing I want to point out is that obviously you're the fact that you're really physically attracted this girl because you'd ignore the fact that she's obviously got some emotional problems she's got some anxiety problems and so she's obviously got some issues there and plus you said that doesn't seem like she says it laughed much and obviously if somebody doesn't find a way to laugh in life obviously they're not very happy and you gotta you can't ignore that and a lot of guys will ignore ignore the fact that she's not a very happy person and think hey I'll make her happy whereas what you really should be looking for is a woman who is already happy shari has a great life and she's already smiling because she's happy as opposed to a woman who never smiles because I see that a lot too oh where am i at the mall or the grocery store where I happen to be you see that a lot of people's faces you see the fact that they don't smile very much and they're not very happy I kind of look at the ground a lot or when they're walk and they kind of waddle and they they look at the ground they're not really paying attention to where they're going it tells you a lot about it the other person is self-esteem but that's why I say is that just like the quote that I read preparation if you want to be successful you got to prepare and that's why you got to read my book and get to know the stuff well so when you get into these situations you do more things right than wrong so you get a second date he says we met at the library where I offered to help her with her homework we talked for about thirty minutes before we even started homework and then I helped her for about another two hours so in essence you're basically you it's like the kind of nice guy approach instead of being direct and getting the point of communicating wow you're really beautiful or you're intoxicating look at me whatever you genuinely feel you communicate that and obviously like I talk about my book if that just scares the [ __ ] out of you use the low risk techniques that I talk about in my book where you can gauge a woman's interest level before you start risking asking her out or communicating that you find out really attractive whatever happens to be I'm blonde and I get right to the point if I think of chicks got a great body I'm gonna tell her on the spot well I think she's the Toxic a look at I'm gonna tell her that if I think she's got great eyes I'm gonna tell her that I think she has an unbelievable ass I'm gonna tell her that it's like whatever I feel it's an authentic compliment an expression of my heart and so right here in the get-go you're meeting this girl and you're going wrong because now you're trying to do something for her that's approval seeking behavior and that's the kind of situation where you start putting a woman on a pedestal and because you're not in essence you're not confident enough to come right out and get right to the point so instead you feel like you got to do something for that's that's a pleaser behavior it's not a good way to go and so these are the kind of things that instead of expressing confidence you're expressing weakness right from the get-go before you've even asked her on a date and so he says she asked my number and my full name so she could add me on Facebook which she never did again you should pay attention to that he says I waited for days and sent her a comical text opener and proceeded to set up the date I suggested getting ice cream and she said that that was an awesome idea we had one rearrangement and ended up going out on Valentine's Day well when you go out on a first date a valentine's day communicates of the girl you got nothing else going on and your purse life obviously she doesn't obviously have much going on either but the point being is that there was a rearrangement I don't know if that was she changed the date or you changed the date but those see women do things like that to see how much they can get you to change the plans as a way to see how much you're willing to go along with her jerking you around in essence because she wants to see what you're made of she doesn't want a guy that's pliable she wants to do that's a challenge to her that's not going to let her just jerk her around and see when you start off the bat offering to help her with her homework and stuff instead of just asking her out on the spot that communicates weakness and so that's why she'll want to change the date and see because if she gets the impression that you're weak and you're a pushover you're not acting like a man and therefore she's going to test you more make it harder to go out on a date with her so he says the conversation was good lots of eye contact dynamic and when I made a stance on something even though I knew it was against her view like smoking weed she would soften her belief or her view in the matter well that's a good sign it shows submissiveness he says I felt like she was sort of intimidated by me and I'm a 200-pound power lifter and she's a 90 pound dancer but I kept the atmosphere very light she never got close to me and we did not make any physical contact so that's important to notice but also the other thing you gotta consider here is that you know she's she's got emotional problems and the thing you gotta understand is like what I teach my my because I want to have a normal healthy woman who's got all our [ __ ] together not a chick that's working through her issues or going through therapy or all these things because you want a girl let's go to [ __ ] together you don't want to wait for a girl to figure it out it's like hey go figure that stuff out and give me a call when when you get better because you want to go with something that's happening if you've gone with a chick that's depressed all the time and she has she's a you know because someone is constantly smoking weed and not pursuing their dreams and just kind of checking out they're avoiding life there's two different types of people there's like functioning like alcoholics you got functioning alcoholics and those that use a drug as an escape in this particular case it sounds like this girl is just kind of using it to avoid life which it's a bad way to go he says I decided it was time to go when I walked her back home but she insisted on staying out longer I wanted to stop by this restaurant he says we did it she invited me into her apartment this is where it didn't go so well she went to introduce me to her roommate and she forgot my name that's not a good sign i toy well hey she does smoke a lot of weed so maybe it's like those brain cells are gone trying to help you out dude he says I toyed with her a bit and told her I felt awkward so I told her I need to head out and meet up with my friend it's good because when you we don't feel a good vibe and you go to take off it's better than to just stick around and having and continuing that awkward by plus her roommate is there so you're obviously probably not going to be hooking up if you're all hanging out together unless you you know you certain see if you'd been making out outside then she invites you in that's usually how it works but obviously she invited you in because you're like mr. nice guy friend approach he says she s courted me the door but I couldn't get her to actually come out again resistance why she'd probably want to come because she knows you want to kiss her and so she sounds like she's using her roommate is kind of like a blocker but then again she did invite you in he says a roommate standing right there and I messed up and I gave her the most Awkward forearm and said see you later he says like text her the next day telling her she seemed like a really genuine person he says in parentheses yeah dumb move and invite her to my friend's birthday party for the following day he says probably even a dumber move yeah because now you're going out on a group date when you really you've only been on one date with this girl you got to get to know somebody first and be intimate with them and have something Kindle with them before you start introducing them that your friends and family it's always best until the girls that are realz and love you that you just go on a date with just the two of you because otherwise the friends get in the way yeah just like you got cock-blocked by a roommate your friends lent up cock-blocking you with her the other whole process of seduction is you want to get the woman alone to the point where it's just the two of you and you ultimately end up inside of her she proceeded to give me the runaround and told me she let me down the next day and I said there was no obligation and she ended up not coming so he says I takes the next day she texted me the next day act asking for a supplemental advice and see that's part of the problem is that she's trying to stick you in friendzone and you're kind of like going along with it but I said where you went wrong obviously as you didn't you didn't make the move but the other thing is there wasn't a lot of physical contact and so where you started to go wrong as you start out with friendship vibe first and then you started trying to make a date so I would encourage you to read my book and apply what I teach there next time you go out on a date because when you start with a friendship vibe it's just a bad way to go and I will talk to you soon you

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 335,947

Rating: 4.798028 out of 5

Keywords: First, Date, Mistakes, To, Avoid

Id: uExGQXtrMzA

Length: 14min 59sec (899 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 11 2013