Terry's Superhuman Strength | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

peralta hey don't you one minute to me i will break that finger off hang up that phone i'm talking to my credit card company i tried to get an online subscription to the new yorker and they declined me apparently based on my previous purchases they assumed it was fraud it's crazy i'm fancy one time i had coffee flavored ice cream shut up hang up now if you're not desperate the first two paragraphs of the article are on the free site you have one minute to look it up and then if i catch you on that phone again oh my but don't worry i'm due for an upgrade and my babies are on a cloud he is so strong you ready serge i was born ready and then i was not born ready for a while but now i'm back to being born ready yes the ebony falcon soars again the ebony falcon his feathers are muscles let's talk strategy later tonight at my house my wife's working late i'm on daddy duty but you're ready for this right absolutely i just need to put my precious babies to bed with a story the ebony falcon needs to read go dog go yeah he does terry jeffords is back chest bump me you don't want to do this man no i really do it hurts you every time no i know but i'm fired up the adrenaline is gonna carry me through here we go hello terry i just thought i'd stop by and let you know that i'm on my way to the bank that's right i'm gonna pay you back because i know your secret what are you talking about i don't have a secret oh really fact the first after years of not caring about my debt you weirdly want me to pay you back now that implies to me that there is a sudden unexpected expense or i got sick of waiting for you to do the right thing not plausible you have endless patience for my shenanigans fact the second you've had dentist appointments twice in the past two weeks no one goes to the dentist that much i haven't been in seven years you should go to the dentist jake probably my teeth hurt all the time fact the third i'm really liking this fact the thing i'm gonna stick with it fact the fourth i found this on your desk it's a list of names nathaniel jeffords alexa jeffords those are my cousin's names lies there's but one conclusion you terry jeffords are pregnant the names are baby names the dentist an obstetrician and the money is for baby things like diapers what are you talking about man that is crazy damn it chip does anybody else know no just you and your wife and crash that's what i think you should name the baby works for a boy or a girl listen up jake we just found out sharon is pregnant and it's way too early to tell anyone this is a secret do you understand me yeah do you do you understand me no this got physical very quickly this is adult stuff jake be serious look i promise i won't tell anyone all right my lips are sealed good do i even weigh anything to you no it's like holding a couple of grapes you better look cute in this picture no one's gonna want you do something with your damn paws whoa whoa sarge relax look i think he might be overreacting a little to this prank and i should know you probably won't believe this but i was bullied in high school for being too handsome i don't believe you you're right it was for setting my crotch on fire in shop class hurt like the dickens point is hater's gone hate shake it off taylor swift always right the reason bullies get to me is because i lived with one my dad he was a cruel man who didn't like his life and he took it out on me okay okay now we're getting somewhere but if you're having dad problems that's my jam son real weird take on my crappy father you know how i turned the corner with my dad i stood up to him and that's what you need to do with your dad no he died in 1988. okay well that probably won't work then but it doesn't mean you can't go over to the six five and stand up to those bullies oh just make fun of me more what are you talking about terry you are a human mountain you have more muscles in your ears than i have in my entire body never skip ear day jake you can crush metal with your bare hands you can lift a city bus you can make your boobies do that bouncy thing they're called pegs same thing now get on over the 6'5 and make those big jerks take back that tiny kitten yeah all right i'm doing it we've busted murderers we've taken down cartels but today we face the worst new york has to offer the fire department fire marshall boom we meet again detective peralta your flies down it made you look i didn't look and i'm wearing shorts there is no fly that's not what your mom said you make no sense and now i'm inside your head prepare to die [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you don't have to dance every time true but i choose the day every time [Applause] you have one play you give the ball to jeffords and he runs it in i i'd like to see you score one good because you're about to see it you're about to see it straight to hell [Music] now terry hate to say this but you two are acting like bad dads and i should know one time my father forgot to pick me up from school cause he was having sex with my best friend's mom my god that's terrible yeah i mean i was 15. i just walked the mall and watched empire records by myself but the point is you're both acting ridiculous no this is on you jake you need to make a choice that's not fair you both want to go and i don't want to hurt either of you so maybe i don't have to i can let fate hurt you we'll flip a coin terry call it in the air heads or tails neither oh my god did you just fold my quarter in half fate's a [ __ ] you make the choice wow wow wow wow just so you know i would never bend your money yeah cause you can't correct i cannot no one can how did he do that any news sergeant uh last i heard they've located one shooter but they can't get to him oh i'm sorry i i didn't realize you on the phone oh just don't hold what's up i just wanted to check in to see if you were all right i couldn't help but notice that you've flattened your mouse sorry i get crushy when i'm nervous hey terry you getting my email about how i was coming down here no i haven't checked my phone ah no need i just wanted to make sure you're here you know you know how i like to have a weight mate really i have never seen you in the gym what i basically live here i'm a regular jim dandy besides i gotta get into shape for all the godfathering i'm gonna do i mean how am i gonna throw our baby up into the air with these noodle arms good point so take me through your workout man rip me up you know let's rip it out time to rip it down those aren't gym terms and i don't think you can handle my workout oh wow sounds like a challenge to me come on give it here i gotcha ready yep oh my gosh is it cool if i just stare at your croissants for a little while sarge you need to stop this diet amy and i folded you won it's not a competition we were on the same team until you deserted me for team eating food was that a good burn i'm too hungry to tell it was a great burn sir now please eat you look weak i'm fine i am stronger than ever watch this serge what are you doing see i'm fine what is happening just to tell me gurgle dad messed up my sister oh no [Music] go back inside are you talking to us or the fart damn it boyle you left the fridge open the door couldn't shut because of your empty pizza box pizza please this is a butternut squash and truffle butter flatbread everything spoiled my lunch is ruined my chicken my potatoes my pasta my meatballs pam my yogurt a lot of yogurt i love yogurt so this is your lunch for like the month i need to eat 10 000 calories a day to maintain muscle mass my wife made me all of this before she left town with the kids that was everything in my fridge scully hey serge i know you got a secret stash of food hidden somewhere oh no where is it no i don't is it in your pocket oh come on i'm going to shake it out of your pockets turn around sorry go live scully oh this is fun release yeah sweets i was overweight and lonely and i wrote dc paula for advice and he sent me this i hope it's not a severed head the sky fire cycle sand into glass the reckoning of collar man that is a long book is the rest of it just more of the title it's the book that started it all okay and listen to the inscription he wrote terry you do have friends you have me never forget that in this life we write our own stories paulo and that's what happened little terry wrote his own story yeah a little terry got buff little terry got emotionally healthy yeah and jacked you know what he didn't get jacked way to go little terry big backs coming through there we go [Music] you

Channel: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Views: 2,192,842

Keywords: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Andy Samberg, Brooklyn 9 9, cops, sit-com, comedy, funny, Peralta, Santiago, Rosa, Terry Crews, Melissa Fumero, Chelsea Peretti, Stephanie Beatriz, Andre Braugher, Captain Holt, Detective, New Girl, Rosa Diaz, Hot Damn, Charles Boyle, Terry Jeffords, Scully, Hitchcock, Noice, Toight, compilation, strong terry, terry's muscles, terry picks up jake, terry crushing things, terry farting

Id: 50YXFSLdkx8

Length: 10min 16sec (616 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 19 2021