- Okay. This is the story of the first time that I told somebody I loved them. (gentle piano music) - Um, I feel many will say that it was a beautiful day like today
in front of a fountain with the music playing the back, but it was, we were just in her home, we were just watching TV on her bed, and while watching the
show, I couldn't focus on what was going on in the movie because I was taken by the emotions I was starting to realize
and feel out of nowhere, and I just looked at her and I told her that I love you. And it was because I really did feel it. I felt like I needed her to know because you never know if
tomorrow was granted or not. Her reciprocating it was
like the pillow I needed because saying I love you is so risky, and if I'm dropping my
head back and you don't hear it back or say it back, you're just gonna slam
your head really hard into something, but she was that pillow that kind of reassured me, like everything is gonna be all right. - We had been dating for a
month, which really isn't that long, but I just felt it, I knew it, I knew it was different. And I really wanted him to say it first because I was too scared. So I remember one night
when I was saying goodbye because we were doing kind
of a long distance thing, I was hugging him, and
I was saying I really, I really, really like you. And he was like yeah, I
really, really like you too. But I was really digging into it. I was like, no you don't get. I really like you. And I was listing off all these things that I love about him,
like I love his smile, I love his hair, I love his
laugh, I love his kindness, I love his personality. And he caught on. And he just said I love you. And I was just like yes. I love you too. I kind of pushed him into it a little bit, but he wanted to say it
too, so it worked out. - It's kind of embarrassing. And I probably should like
never go online and admit this, but I told someone I loved
them and then I farted. And they heard it. I was like, I hope they didn't hear that. And they did. They definitely heard it. I was like getting out of
the car, and I was like love you, and it's like
one of those things that like slips when you
didn't want to say it yet, and then you did. And as I was getting
out of the car I farted. (laughing) And I was just like hope
they didn't hear that. And they were like, I did. I've changed since then. Now I've learned to fart
earlier on with people so that way if it accidentally slips out I can just be like, I
totally planned that. (laughing) Oh that is so wholesome. Okay, bye. (laughing) All right. - I think the first time I
told someone I loved them would have been my best
friend at the time. It was mutual. (laughs) We loved each other. And I think I even gave her
a little blue ring I had. That was before I was interested in boys. That first love is so innocent. You're not looking for anything. You are a blank slate, and
you just know what you love, and it's straight from the heart. Later on, you look for things. You look for qualities, or
there's a blueprint later on, but in the first love is
just straight from the heart. Doesn't matter what someone looks like. Doesn't matter if
they're your best friend. It doesn't matter what sex they are, it doesn't matter how
much money they have. It's just from the heart. - The first time I told
somebody I loved them I was probably in kindergarten. His Lego, or I think it was like a GI Joe got stuck in a tree and I got it because I was the only tall one. And he gave me a kiss on the cheek and I told him I loved him. - I never really knew what love was. I thought I did. It was something I always wanted, but I never knew what it was, honestly. Until I met this one right here. (giggling) You know, I've had, I guess
they call it puppy love. I don't know, I thought it was love. But when I met him, that's
when I experienced love. You lose yourself in puppy love because you're so about the other person. I don't know, you lose who you are. You feel like you're
tolerating their behavior. He asked me, how do I tolerate him? And normally when somebody
asks me that question I'm like because, this, this, this. But when he asked me that, I was like, I don't tolerate you, I love you. - [Thoraya] Can you explain the setting, how you said it exactly? - We were in the bed. (laughs) We were in the bed, and
I was just describing everything I love about him, but I didn't say I love you. And then he asked me, he
said you love everything else about me but me. And I was like, I do love you. So that was my first
time saying I love him. It's different. It's different. You'll know it when you got it, I promise. You will know it. Like, that's my husband. Next time y'all see us,
you'll see us married. I'm telling you. - So, when I was 16 I had a boyfriend, and he would always say I love YouTube. I love YouTube. Just so he wouldn't have to say I love you like when we were first starting dating because we were just awkward. And he's like a really funny ginger. And so one day, he's like I love you. And I was like, tube? And he was like, no tube. And that was how we said I
love you for the first time because we were dumb and 16 years old. - I don't think I ever really have. I just remember, I had an ex-girlfriend,
I cared for her a lot but I don't think I
ever actually told her, just not a direct I love you. - [Thoraya] So how
would you express to her that you loved her? - I don't know, we just spent a lot of time together, obviously. How we shared a lot of the hardships, a lot of darkness we both carried. - [Thoraya] So you were feeling it, but you didn't? - Looking back, yeah. It definitely was, but I don't know. I guess, (laughs) it's weird, I don't know. I never really thought
about it till now, actually. Hmm. Kind of missed opportunity I guess. - [Thoraya] Have you been in love since? - Not like that. - It was actually over
text, because I'm dumb, and I couldn't properly
express myself then, and so I was feeling kind of sad, and he's just really nice. I'm gonna start crying. And he's like, my shoulder to lean on. And I just love him a lot. So I told him I loved him. He said I think I love you, too. I love him more than all the stars in the galaxy. - I never told anyone that I love you. That I love him, or her. - [Thoraya] And what'd
you tell me earlier? - And I hope that, not recording, please. (laughing) (speaking foreign language) And I hope that I never do it. - [Thoraya] You hope that you never-- - Never say anyone, I love you. - [Thoraya] Why is that? - Because I don't see the point. Everyone say I love you. I want to say anything else. Anything different. Something that really means something, I don't know how to say
yeah, I think this meaning of I love you is empty. We say I love that thing, oh I love (speaking foreign
language) that something. But when you either find
the person who actually, you, I don't know. But I love you is empty. It is mainstream. - [Thoraya] So it's not
that you don't want to find this connection, you
just don't want to express it in those ways. - I don't know, I mean does
connection really exist? - [Thoraya] Do you believe in love? - Oh yeah, of course. - [Thoraya] So your sister went before you and she doesn't. - Yeah, she doesn't. She doesn't. But yes, I believe in love. I hope to find someone
really special to me, and I don't know, maybe
spend all my life with him. - It was Halloween. I was Tigerlily and he was Captain Hook. We had a Halloween party at my house. We were in my room. I think maybe I was like
holding his face in my hands. (laughing) And I said, don't make me say it. Don't make me say that I love you. It was really nice. - So, I guess the last
time I felt like the words I love you I really needed to say was when I left my home in San Jose to come here to San Diego. I really felt like I needed
to say it to my parents. I really didn't tell
them my plan or intention of moving down here in San
Diego, and me and my parents, we don't really have a great relationship in terms of being
communicative and expressing our feelings towards each other. You know, I've been in San
Diego for almost four years, and I've only seen my parents
once or twice every year. The further I am away from them, I really feel like, man,
I really wish I said I love you to them when I left. And to this day, too,
it's a struggle for me to say I love you to my parents. And if I could say it
right now, I would say it, like a million times. You know what I mean? - So, for me the most
memorable moment I have where I said I love you was to my late mom who passed away, I'd say
around three years ago. It was on her death bed
where I did say I love you. I do remember around like two months prior is when she started to lose her voice. It was getting very straining
for her to do anything at all. She was mostly bedridden
for that last two months that we had her here. It was one dark night. Me, my dad, and her were
all together in the room. And we were just, as you
know, we normally did during that time, we were
just together in silence, not really saying anything. There wasn't really much
that needed to be said. At one point, my dad did
kind of close in on me. He like stood next to my
ear and he whispered to me that it's okay to cry,
and you know when you hear those words in those types of situations you tend to let go. So obviously I ended up crying, sobbing, all that ugly stuff that no
one really wants to go through. And I hope no one does, ever. But, and I do remember with
my head down sobbing she put her hands up to my
hair and started playing with my hair, like how she
did when I was a little kid. And so I look up, she's staring at me, and I tell her, I love you mom. I love you. And she said it back, to which obviously, I wouldn't say I lost it,
for lack of a better word. But it really did hit really deep for me. I don't think I've ever
received or have experienced any type of that love, like
when she said I love you, it not only was like loud and clear, it had this weight to it, you know. When she said I love you,
I really did feel that all throughout my body and
all throughout my head, too. And so I'm really glad that I was able to experience that one last time at least before she passed away. (gentle piano music) - Hey everyone, happy
early Valentine's Day. As always, thank you for
watching another episode. If you enjoy watching
my videos, and you want to watch more, please make sure
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