Teachers, Whats The Weirdest Thing You Have Taken Off A Student?

teachers have read it what are some of the weirdest things you've confiscated from a student a ziploc bag of pink crayola crayons that he sliced perfectly into small discs with a razor blade he was trying to market them in the hallways as hallucinogenic pills small tupperware container of swamp water a pencil with a bunch of glued on dick-shaped confetti a taxidermied kookaburra she taught herself how to do it from books it was not done well edit just to clarify apparently it was dead having been hit by a car when she found it student was trying to stick a large suction cup dildo like the ones you use in the shower to another student's locker he actually asked what the problem was a white lacy thong from a kindergartner she was wearing it on her head a vitamin b12 vape pen didn't know they existed it was a nine-year-old in class now watch the kids vaping e-cigs get shamed for not smoking a vitamin vape my friend had his toasty machine banned just when he started to make a profit didn't confiscate anything but i'm a sub a few weeks ago i was at a rough school and i heard one kid whisper to another kid hey i'd like to place an order t so i'm keeping an eye on him and then another kid says oh yeah i need some too i ask them what they are doing the kid taking the order says pizza sure anyways i continue to eavesdrop at one point he's on his ipad and i sneak behind him to see what he's looking at he is straight up on the domino's website i guess he had just gotten a job there and was using his discount or something which i'm pretty sure his boss wouldn't be happy with but it wasn't what i thought it was a homemade arrow made with a pencil and a modified razor blade a nugget of weed wrapped in tin foil that a kid stole from his dad when he was mad at him a sugar glider kept hearing a high-pitched squeak in class noticed she had a small animal in her jacket pocket when it decided to poke its head out a student brought one of these to my class i teach college so that was fine and i was super excited and she let me hold it the students were busy doing some group work and when they were just about done i went to hand it back to her it then proceeded to leap down the front of my shirt and attach itself to my bra semicolon so now i'm supposed to be lecturing again but this girl's sugar glider is not only sitting in my cleavage but running around under my shirt more than half the class had no idea why i was distracted or why i shoved my hands down between my boobs until i finally got the little guy out semicolon the following year a different students hedgehog peed on me i teach little once so nothing nearly as risky as some of the others in this thread i've confiscated handcuffs french baby bottles and a variety of bugs and small animals the kiddos caught out at recess a colleague confiscated an um adult movie from a five-year-old the kid didn't know what it was didn't even know that it was a videotape or anything about it it just still looked cool the tape itself he didn't know of the content in music class this kid oliver pulls out a matchbox car and starts playing teacher takes it turn around places it on piano turns back he's already gotten the next one out of his pocket and it back to playing so she took it again rinse repeat funniest tea ever to an eight-year-old i taught english in south korea for a year one time i caught a kid doing the old comic book inside a textbook routine i was surprised i didn't know kids did that after laughing i confiscated his comic book a raccoon penis toothpick he kept poking other kids with it sigh what i had to confiscate an 11th grader's laptop because she was going to ehn mature themed chat rooms during class specifically ones for married men looking to chat with young girls yee then after she wasn't allowed to bring her laptop or phone to school anymore she later got banned from school kramer books for doing it again she was not very bright when teaching pre-k i had to confiscate a grenade there was very serious confusion and terror when i saw him and told my aide that timmy is holding a grenade no not a toy timmy name confidential what do you have there buddy he tells me excitedly that it's a grenade i asked him where he got it and he said he found it in the trees by his house you know as you do in midwest america just find grenades in the trees i made him give it to me immediately it turned out to be hollowed out and i believe it was a world war ii pineapple grenade his mom called maybe four hours later to tell us oh hey i forgot to mention timmy wanted to bring his grenade to school y'all can just put it in his cubby she also explained that he just found it i still can't believe that happened how do you just find a grenade why do you let your child bring it to school so many other questions camp counselor here we have permission to go through bags to confiscate prohibited items like food and electronics and knives one girl had a tupperware full of what looked like the oldest peanut butter imaginable smeared all over the tupperware i brought it to my co-workers and we all tried to smell it but it smelled different to all of us literally no clue what this tea was ask the girl about it one day and she goes um that's my plant like it's obvious apparently it was some kind of fungus or algae to apply to sunburns edit it's in the woods they can't keep food on them because of bears and other wildlife we aren't starving them i promise not confiscated but actually given as a gift a bag of her hair a bag of every strand of hair she's had cut since birth not a teacher but a kid brought a human skull to school i think the teacher just had a conversation with him about it headed to answer some questions the skull was real the kid was a baddie his folks were more likely meth cooks than doctors it didn't get donated the school in question was near a rural mountain area where a lot of people lived who wanted to be left alone the provenance of the skull was at the most conservative dubious my father took a cleaver off a student my dad was doing lunch duty and saw the kid open his jacket and motion his buddies to have a look turns out there was going to be a fight after school my dad knew the kid and asked him to step into the hallway he got the cleaver off the kid and took him to the office i'm not sure what his punishment was but pre-columbine so who knows a turtle an action figure with a picture of my face taped on the head a little orange lizard in a box with a chair is a pokemon card tape to it edit to clarify the card was taped to the box edit wow this blew up how i understand the meaning of inbox spammed a can of axe only because he sprayed another student with it and to be fair to the student doing the spraying the other student had gym class the previous period and had not changed out or showered he did smell in the words of the axe spraying student like a dead rotting moose but after the spraying he smelled like a dead rotting mousse that had been sprayed with axe body spray it was not an improvement this happened in the same the classroom where someone once optimistically hung up a green apple scented wonderbomb that also did not help the naked lady booby lighter kid was seventh or eighth grade in an alternative school setting he was always sneaking stuff in his pockets and getting it taken up we are walking to lunch and my assistant stops suddenly he comes back with a metal naked woman torso in his hand you could press one boob and the flame came out of the other it was fantastic it was super popular in the office for the few days until mom came to pick it up she was really glad to get family heirloom back student not a teacher but someone who helps fifth graders adapting to their new school we usually are a team of five or six older pupils who look after one class anyways one day one of these kids wasn't paying attention to us and constantly playing with something under his desk i then took it and it was two phones tied together back to back with rubber bands to this day i don't know what this construction was for they were having phone sx done i had to confiscate a seventh grader's ipad because he was looking up anime girl body pillows somewhat related my wife got a kid banned from chroma books in school because he was trying to look at prn on them but he was in middle school so he was really bad at it so like she saw him looking at inappropriate pictures and he said it was an accident so she went into the search history it was image search for i'm not a teacher but when i was in hs one of the teachers saw a kid snorting coke off his desk came by slammed his hand on his desk and said no told him to stay after class instead of reporting him to the principal and f king up his life he threw it away when i was in school my english teacher confiscated 50 shades of grey off another pupil during our silent reading time he would have been in year 7 or 8 at the time my classmate who was the dumbest class clown tried to kick off about it and asked the teacher why it being taken away and the teacher calmly said i'm not letting you read that it's terribly written it's as if it's been written by someone on a train edited similar thing occurred in my year 9 english class girl came in and started reading 50 shades for silent reading my teacher noticed and straight up said emma you can sit outside and read that then argues why an teacher responds i wouldn't wipe my ass with that book let alone allow that poorly written filth enter my class emma ended up reading it on the front step of the classroom in the heat of australian summer she sure had tenacity i'll give her that ia that english teacher was hilarious and a great teacher as well i'm not a teacher but my wife is she once confiscated a school-issued ipad chock full of anime tentacle prn from a 13 year old girl not weird but gross i asked one of my students what they were chewing on he said it was a balloon he found out at recess it was not a balloon a set of chicken scissors you know the kind that cut through bone not me but my cousin confiscated a vibrating [ __ ] ring from a little boy wearing a desert bracelet student here in grade four a student in my class brought his cat into class someone in my class brought a dead squirrel in his backpack and threw it at someone in the hallway not a teacher and not confiscated but hey dead squirrel story a live white kitten they had brought it in to give to their friend the friend's parents had no idea and did not want a cat these kids were 12 and 14 so i don't know where their common sense was the cat was safely retrieved and went home with the principal for his son edit aside from the cat smuggling ring the kids were generally pretty clever and not prone to such stupidity when i was in middle school we were forbidden to take writing utensils into the bathrooms because of a graffiti issue so of course we couldn't take in our bags lucky me realized i had started my period in the middle of history i very sneakily reached my hand in my bag grabbed a tampon and placed it in my pocket i walked to the back of the room to ask the teacher to go to the restroom and he laughed and said i saw you reaching in your bag hand over the marker and i'll let you go after a moment of silence i pull out the tampon and place it in his outstretched hand he stares at it for a second before handing it back and quickly motioning towards the door he'll never forget his face lol three condoms filled with mashed potatoes and lettuce did it not a teacher but my cousin is and she had to take a ziploc bag full of vodka soaked gummy bears from some freshmen nothing like getting drunk at eight in the morning not sure she was supposed to eat them after confiscating them one of my students brought in a human anatomy textbook and when he walked into class he has it open to the page with diagrams and anatomical drawings of the female genitalia this was in first grade by the way i just held on to it for the day and sent it home with a note this same student also brought a dvd copy of the mummy during the first week of school lol a note with the word penis spelled out with penises edit hentai tried hiding it behind a textbook but the textbook was stood vertically on the desk red flag because a no one reads like that b no one reads wasn't even a good one horrible taste it for those asking for sauce wasn't food so why bother one of our teachers confiscated a fart machine and used it the entire year for wrong answers it was awesome not a teacher but in high school i needed dry ice for a project i brought in a big block of it wrapped up in a paper bag apparently a large smoking object in the lunchroom is concerning and potentially dangerous and they confiscated it until i got to class my dad who is a teacher has taken away from student a pepper spray that stupid kid sprayed it all over boys restroom another thing that occurred my father was not involved one kid brought vodka in water bottle they called his mother she came to school they showed her that bottle asked her if they should call the police she grabbed it drinked it all and said you have nothing to prove now and left being a teacher must be nice my history teacher brought a live goat to school on multiple occasions and would keep it in the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet maybe it was to put in his computer not really bizarre but very memorable i had to take a water bottle that contained some type of fruity vodka had to smell it to be sure i only knew to check because the student was recognizably drunk this was an eighth grader edit whoa this blew up my top comment is now officially about underage drinking in school too many comments to respond to all of them but yes it is common a teacher catching it is not always as common though a box of those can be airheads that was legitimately half the size of my body as a teacher's aide the weirdest thing i've seen confiscated was a dead and dried octopus this thing was about the size of a football and the kid was trying to make a girl lick it teacher here i confiscated weed during my first year of teaching which admittedly isn't too terribly odd the odd part was that it was in an old pill bottle with the words weed for use by student's name and then under that it was signed by his mom we clearly brought the mom in to pick him up deal with the paperwork and the police and she did confirm that she gave him the weed to cool him down during the school day she was selling the kids actual medication on the side and explained to us the school officials and the officer that weed basically did the same thing as his drugs so like whatever it was one of the most surreal moments of my life because she just couldn't understand what she had done wrong or why the officer was arresting her i'm a student the teacher once took a kids eraser cause he kept catapulting it with a ruler the eraser had penis written on it truly a master of psychological warfare i'm a student but me and my friends thought it was a good idea to make a slingshot type thing and shoot it at each other using it it was made with a binder a rubber band and really sharp pencils we even shot nails and other found items we got found on lunch recess shooting at each other got it taken away and dismantled we just made more my mum is british and back in the 70s she did camp usa where she was a camp counselor in california so she's setting up some kids in their cabin and she notices a toy gun in amongst some clothes so she picks it up and thinks huh that's really heavy yeah not a toy deal first time my mum ever saw a gun apparently she freaked out but the counselor said it wasn't loaded or anything so they just confiscated it and gave it back at the end of his stay to this day i have no understanding of why you'd send a child to camp with a handgun in amongst their underwear paper clip action figure about nine high made up of water to be 100 to 200 roughly bent up paper clips i confiscated a sock full of wet pennies the boy switched schools the next year sadly my wife called me really concerned about one of her students living in the bronx she's always worked in low-income communities where predominantly spanish-speaking immigrants have settled one day for show-and-tell a student brought a vial of crack cocaine and a pipe this second grader stated that his family would gather around to smoke from the peace pipe in front of him and his little sister i suggested she call the police and once they arrived child protective services stepped in and removed him and his younger sister from the home and taken to their grandparents we received several threats of violence for calling the police and we never regretted doing so my wife has retired but stays in contact with her fellow teachers we're told the boy is now in hs and has a very good chance of getting into college through an athletic program not a teacher but i had this classmates in elementary school who had a collection of thumbtacks taken from him this kid loved putting these tacks parallel to and right under his top layer of skin so it looked like he had attack in his hand but he didn't actually feel it he had three colors white for just breaking the skin red for drawing blood and blue if he ever wanted to try to hit bone semicolon i was going to say i wonder what he's up to now but after a second thought i don't think i want to know [Music] [Music] you

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Id: F7GybB2qrF0

Length: 20min 52sec (1252 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 11 2020