What's The Best Case Of Instant Karma You've Seen?

what's the best case of instant karma that you've ever seen used to commute to dc from 40 miles away driving home one evening this dude decides he must merge into my lane now beeping and all he pushes me off the road the car behind me was a cop as soon as i was on the shoulder lights and sirens went on and the dude was pulled over it was my own karma i was in eighth grade i was standing on a bench when i watched some girl fall over in the yard started laughing and pointing and then went to lean back onto the fence that was behind the bench turns out it had broken off where i was standing and i fell straight through and into the mud i'm in the nick subway a guy elbows me out of the way to get into the turnstile first yelling vaguely that he has a train to catch no through the turnstile turn the corner and there are a few cops set up near a folding table and he gets pulled to have his bag searched i worked at a grocery store i was stocking instant noodles on a big sale display all i had was a cheap small step two step stool you know the one with the bar that runs across the top step reaching down to the stool from the shelf i was standing on was about three feet i had a sixty percent chance my foot would land on the top bar and collapse the thing i asked a co-worker to use his shoulder as a handle as i got down my supervisor called me a princess for getting assistance soon after he was stocking the two litre coke bottles on a sales display he tried to get down he took the 40 success rate jump onto the step hit the top bar the stepladder collapsed he broke his arm and took down half of the display i just clocked out and left before they told me to clean up the spilled soda all over the place i was driving home on the highway during a horrible blizzard at night the roads were extremely slick and dangerous i was going about 30 miles per hour my daughter was a newborn and it was the first time i had ever driven in the snow with her i was nervous some jerk in a huge truck is doing 65 passing everyone in the slow lane and just being really risky and ignorant to the conditions and other drivers in general he passed me and i was like you're gonna crash bro right at that moment the dude fishtails loses control and crashes into a ditch don't worry i'm not a sadist he was completely fine i know this because i saw him emerge from the truck and do a little angry freakout dance his truck wasn't fine that's what you get for endangering others during a blizzard driving through philly and standstill traffic some as shad decides to use the shoulder as a lane to cut in line the vehicle he ended up cutting off was a state trooper an instant whoop whoop and told to pull off the highway over a loudspeaker i couldn't stop laughing that time i had my shoes stolen i was seventeen went to a party where there were kids from two different high schools when i went inside i took off my brand new nike air mother shoes that i had just bought for 140 dollars hours later when i went to leave my shoes were gone we had an idea of who took them a guy from the other school but didn't have proof i was so sad and so embarrassed i had to drive home in my socks long story short a week later monica the girl who threw the party shows up on my doorstep holding something behind her back turns out she went to her party and saw the guy who stole my shoes wearing them when he took them off after a smoke break she snagged them now standing in front of me she reveals my nikes she told me the best part was watching him look for them just like i had and then leave in his socks monica kicks ass walking down the san antonio river walk guy in front of us gets pooped on by a bird friend turns to me and says sucks to suck friend literally gets pooped on as well right at this moment [ __ ] kid in middle school kept trying to steal my cell phone it was a cheap flip phone but he'd do it just to me off our school had a rule that you couldn't have your phone out in class teacher left the classroom for a second to have a brief word with an administrator jerker's kid grabbed my phone teacher came back in a moment later and caught him red-handed with my phone out she wouldn't believe it wasn't his phone he got detention back in high school i was kind of being addicted to a girl i was friends with nothing too bad just some friendly teasing but still then i turned around and fell down a flight of stairs even mid-fall the karma and the justice did not escape me at the end of the day in locker room after gym class this freshman kid who was really popular and always talked a lot of started messing with this guy who was kind of awkward and kind of got picked on a lot apparently they got in each other's way in flag football or something awkward guy ignores cocky kid for a while until the cocky kid pushed him awkward guy had enough and hit the cocky guy in the face three times before he hit the ground knocked his front teeth out as we were all leaving school and talking about it the overall consensus was well that's what happens when you talk that much my dog tried to eat my sushi while i was away from the table for a second [Music] in the uk kids wear blazers and ties to school and a common bullying tactic that jerks used was to run up to kids pull their ties so they get really tightly knotted on the bus home the bus was really full and i was standing in front of one such bully he grabbed my tie just as the bus had to break sharply he lost his footing and the only thing keeping him upright was the fact that he was holding my tie he had grabbed the wrong bit it wasn't knotted i simply untied it he fell on his bum that was the last time i was knotted in my school everyone had clip-on ties and because if the strict dress rules some bullies would yank them off and wouldn't give them back however some people had proper ones usually as a replacement for losing them one of my friends had one and some [ __ ] yanked it really hard i was working in a supermarket when panicked customer a came up to me and said he'd accidentally left his cash in the atm and had anyone handed it in i was about to say no when customer b appeared behind him and said he'd been trying to catch up to him he'd been queuing behind him at the atm and saw what happened so he'd got the money for him it was 200 pounds so a decent amount customer a was super grateful and offered him some of the money but he wouldn't take it customer b then bought a scratch good scratched it and found he'd won five pounds not a whopping amount of karma but common nonetheless at a job as a mechanic i got a part that was completely correct except the electrical plug was a different shape i found out after i installed it for the record it did plug in just didn't have long enough prongs to communicate como i had to order the right part again and take this one off and install the right one all while only getting paid to put the correct one on lost about one three hours comma my co-worker laughed and said that you won't make that mistake again pay attention next time his very next job he put all four tires on backwards some tyres are directional said the same thing to him i knew i would use it against him didn't know it would be that soon tl dr i made a hard to spot mistake dude made fun of me his very next job he made an easy to spot mistake i made fun of him my dad told me this story he was driving back from the shore when traffic got really bad about a mile ahead there was an accident that had brought traffic to a crawl happens my dad decides to be patient about it others weren't so patient people began driving on the shoulder in order to get ahead of the traffic this is my dad off we all know how this goes we do the right thing and are punished for it whereas these [ __ ] are skipping in front traffic and will probably get away with it he thought about following this stream of cars onto the shoulder but he decided he'd do the right thing and wait as he got closer he saw two cops in a parking lot one cop was directing all of the shoulder drivers into the parking lot while the other wrote all of those drivers tickets he describes it as one of the most satisfying things he's ever seen i was driving into a construction zone where three lanes converged to one right at the point it became one lane a car tried to pass me on my right i slowed down so he wouldn't hit me but he ran over one of those metal lane dividers it got caught up in his back right wheel well and went around a few times i could see and hear it make a mess of his fender last i saw he was pulling over to inspect the damage i banged my knee on the corner for a hotel bed and my husband was laughing his ass off while he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom as soon as he walks out of the bathroom his hit is knee the exact same way and i got to laugh my ass off my boyfriend has a big gmz and one winter it was really snowy and a bunch of cars had gone into the ditch as yaddu because he is a nice guy he was spending his day off pulling people out for free at one point while he was helping someone some [ __ ] flew by him wailing on the horn and flipping him off out the window he got done pulling the car out and headed up the road in the direction that jackass had gone a mile up the road they found him standing outside of his car which was now plowed into a giant eye tree boyfriend honked his horn wave and kept driving dude just hung his head like a scolded dog truly beautiful saw the guy in a gorgeous sports car ferrari i think honking and yelling at a pedestrian in the crosswalk pedestrian had the right of way and was crossing during the signal immediately after they passed the guy guns it and darts around the corner and rear-ends a cop who was in the middle of writing a ticket there was a truck parked on the street that was just enough to obstruct ferrari guy's line of sight through the turn it was glorious i didn't even see it happen i just heard the crunch right after he turned the corner not instant karma but i remember in middle school i knew a kid that would go door-to-door collecting donations for the walkerton and he'd keep the money for himself he used the money to buy video games with it one day he loans his friend his game collection his friend moved away with it not instant but carmen nonetheless my dad kept getting his lunch stolen at work one day so he got my mother to get the spiciest hot sauce on the market to put on the sandwich lo and behold the guy who stole it was looking red as a hot iron they fired the guy and my dad got to eat his lunch again i'll never understand lunch thieves i used to be a zookeeper this [ __ ] was making fun of our llama for looking ugly the llama was a rescue who had corrective jaw surgery the [ __ ] pointed and laughed at our llama the llama spat in her mouth i gave the llama a treat and told her that she was a good girl edit thanks yoontao nazar my instant karma llama story earned me my first gold one time in middle school this guy who was relatively new at our school was making fun of a girl in our class who fell in the hallway in between classes coincidentally this was the girl i had a crush on he was a little bit of a class clown and was mocking her making her look stupid and clumsy apparently he misjudged his footing and while attempting to jokingly ape the way she had fallen actually fell for real and landed squarely on his back in front of everybody he broke his arm in the process passing him by in the hallway i saw him just lying there surrounded by adults and staring up at the ceiling face completely expressionless he didn't come back to school pretty sure he moved after that i would have too that a police car rounded the corner just in time for me and a guy to tell them that a bunch of kids had just thrown a firework at the owner of a nearby store it was literally moments later and they could see the kids running down the road from where we stopped them this happened a couple of months back young driver in a brand new merc dangerously overtaking me and others on a single lane caught up with him at the next set of lights tulane mine turning he's going straight both with the car ahead of us did the universal wind down your window sign and suggested he cool his driving or he will get into a crash told me to off lights go green he boots it off the line smack into the back of the car in front bonnet bent in half radiator blown airbags deployed i got out check the other poor innocent driver was unharmed gave him my details as a witness gave the [ __ ] driver the old told you so and carried on my way a guy in a charger was weaving through traffic and passing at high speed in a work zone on the interstate and i said to the other person in the car it would be nice to see one of those [ __ ] get busted just once a minute later a state trooper swings out from the tree line on an access road and pulls the guy over double fines for speeding in a work zone by the bye my best friend's mom has always been like a second mom to me at least since my bestie and i were in fourth grade this year for easter she invited me over for dinner with her family so i decided to get her a quick gift which included some dog toys for her huskers some flowers a thank you card and a scratch-off ticket he has always been so kind to me she even writes the same sweet motherly messages on my facebook timeline as she does for her own daughters that's probably why i cried with utter joy when the ticket i bought her won her one thousand dollars it wasn't necessarily instant karma since she has been good to me for more than 16 years but she won some money in an instant in elementary school all the kids went to the bus stop together as we walked one of the second graders ran into a lamp post one of my classmates couldn't stop laughing he crossed the street and he was still laughing his ass off and didn't look where he was going you know what's coming he ran into a lamp post as well and instantly got laughed at was at a show jumping event and a little girl went up to a famous show jumper with her book of famous riders and asked him to sign it she couldn't find him in the book and asked if he could help her he responded find it yourself and walked away in his final round after the incident worth one hundred zero zero zero dollars first jump the [ __ ] stopped and he fell face first into the floor not going to lie i was laughing the best one was a real fun goon at my school he got up on the roof of a shed on kids as they left the shed but this dumb bully fell off the roof resulting in a broken wrist injured wang and humiliation [ __ ] swerving through traffic like a maniac in a school zone and marked police car pulled him over i was walking to the store with a friend when we were 13. we heard someone yelling at us and turned around to see some kid about 50 feet away he was yelling and calling us fs and every other homophobic word you know at that age as we started to walk over to confront him he did a 180 and started running while turning well he spun around and ran face first into a tree and hit it hard enough that he fell to the ground from the impact he couldn't stop laughing and hopefully that was enough embarrassments for him to learn a lesson i'm so late to this party but this is too good not to share when i was about 16 and my brother was 12 we lived on a ranch we had horses cats dogs and chickens because of the horses we had this thing called a lunge whip it's basically a long flexible pole with a length of rope at the end my brother and i were waiting for the horses to finish eating little bro was dragging around the lunge whip at first to play with the cats but then ditches start snapping the whip near the cats mostly to irritate me hey don't do that mom already said that you weren't supposed to and if you accidentally hit one of them i'll beat you up me little bro looks me in the eyes and says i do what i want he flicks the whip once more and it snaps back and hits him straight on the dick i have called him dick bruce for years not quite instant but my man came to my city and brought me home to look after me after i was wrongly discharged from acute impatient care in the hospital this cost her a lot of money in both travel and lost hours at her job i didn't ask her to do this but she is a wonderful person so she did anyway whilst i was home she had an evening at the bingo with her best friend and they won over 1000 pounds which covered the costs she had had to spend to look after me one time i saw a truck swerve to purposefully hit a cat it was the type of truck that you see where the dude is clearly compensating for something huge lifted with the testicles on the back edge well he successfully hit the cat and it splattered all over his truck and it wasn't a cat it was a skunk did it for all of you asking i knew he thought it was a cat or some other small animal because skunks kinda look like cats and no one in their right mind would purposefully run over a skunk you are right that i am not psychic the reason i knew he tried to hit it was he swerved on a two-lane road to hit the skunk who was walking parallel to the road not crossing it after a few days of getting killed at the blackjack tables at fox woods my friend and i spent hour last night getting hammered went back to the room and decided to order some room service he ordered and i went to grab some water from the vending machine in the hallway were two old ladies one of whom was having a massive seizure i had just taken a cpr first aid course a year or two earlier and just jumped in rolled her to her side fished out her dentures arm up under the head and her friend hold her in place and ran back to the room to have my friend call security to get ends up there they got there and took her away she was awake and alert as they rolled her off next morning we decided to hit the tables before we left not only did i win back all my losses but i left up about four grand my school was having a bake sale and this girl wanted red velvet cake but only had her credit card i was paintballing last saturday and there was a bunch of kids there for a birthday party birthday boy didn't like the fact that one of his guests has made a joke at his expense and everyone laughed so he shot him in the back of the leg from one yard away when walking away like nothing happened he tripped over a root and landed on his gun resulting in his hopper opening all his paintballs spilling onto the ground in the end of the gun taking a chunk of skin from his hip am i the only one that wants to see someone do something good and then have something awesome happen to them karma isn't always bad i went to a local playground with my sister and her kid and as we walked in the gate we passed two women chatting one of them had a baby in a buggy and the baby dropped its toy the mother wasn't looking so i just picked it up gave it back to the kid and we carried on walking to a bench nearby at the bench next to us was a woman with a little girl who was about four they were discussing something quietly and then the mother said okay go on comma as if giving in to the girl the girl then proceeded to march over to me say this is for being helpful comma sticking a gold star on my arm and then going back to her mother gold star mother motherers i was playing volleyball with a group of my friends a few years back one of the guys who is just an acquaintance of mine was known for being unreasonably angry throughout the whole game he's being a total dick to everyone yelling and screaming citing the rules and saying everyone is breaking them eventually we all had enough so we just unanimously kept egging him on and acting dumb on purpose to fluster him at one point he gets so mad that he got on both his knees and started screaming oh he does this alone pigeon swoops by and takes on his face [Music] you

Channel: The Daily Show With Reddit

Views: 1,128

Rating: 4.6190476 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit stories, best of reddit, reddit story, reddit cringe, reddit funny, top posts, reddit best, r/, reddit top posts, askreddit top posts, reddit top post, best reddit stories, reddit posts, top reddit stories, funny reddit stories, funny stories, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, subreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, askreddit, daily show, the daily show with reddit, the daily show

Id: GdVqoFx8_zw

Length: 23min 7sec (1387 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 01 2020