Series 3, Episode 3 - 'Little Polythene Grief Cave.' | Full Episodes | Taskmaster

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hello hello I'm Greg Davis and this is taskmaster look at this titanic trophy it like me is magnificent and as our five competitors battle on through this third episode they each edge nearer to winning it and becoming the next task master Series champion let's meet the prospective title holders now they are and look who is its little Alex who [Applause] you if you've been busy you gave me you gave me a promotion thank you for that that's all right you said we are still many many leagues apart but I'm now semi-professional so that's nice it's nice a difference I can feed and clothe my children now so that's nice thank you for that all right onwards as always the show starts with a price task what we ask them to bring in today Alex okay well today we ask them to bring in their best battery-operated item it's gonna be that kind of crap so whoever brings in the best battery-operated item in your opinion will win the first maximum points of the show whoever wins the whole episode will win five battery-operated items all to play for Dave Gorman you're a modern man what battery-operated thing of you Boyd and why should I give you points for it I have brought in a thing called you and the dream sheet and I've got a baby at home and we were given it so it's got the batteries in it and it plays sort of white noise that soothes a baby to sleep so when the baby was no no it's like I'm EMI we doing did soothe our baby to sleep when the baby was in the car in our room and then I had to go on tour and I miss my baby so much I bought another one for me to go in the hotel with me so that I could hear the sound another paid that would remind me okay Rob off you bought I've brought a light for a toilet so that when you where you can see where you win without waking up fully but and the light on in the bathroom you know I mean that was WOW what's the to were bringing I brought in a wall-e toy sees me he's not gonna help me do an accurate piss in the middle of the night though you press the button and he sort of does this [ __ ] bat and it's just love less interesting so my instinct was to push you off the stage and he's lovelyz lovelyz friendly he's pretty cute for a robot Sarah um okay I bought a genuinely good expensive thing it's called an iPod album for money I also do need this back because my I have a Nokia that doesn't go on the internet and I can only check my emails on this so I do need to win this episode there is some risk that I'll give you that yeah yeah Paul already I'm petrified as to what you may have brought uh said a boy a hairband and of course it go everything you need on there dreadlocks I need more than dreadlocks the dreadlocks light up oh they like oh this is where you can become a raster without becoming arrested you can become a raster without becoming a raster hey sorry your sheets going in last place Oh Wally fourth place and you know I loves Wally yeah I don't I pod nice item second unbelievably and I am someone who was to be a raster but not an actual Russell 2nd place because I'm a middle-aged man and I've got a swollen prostate cancer [Applause] genuinely Half Price is sorted let's move on to the first task proper Alex what we're about to see we're gonna kick things off with some bodily fluids Oh [Music] don't like it what I'll just look at the objects nothing it won't well she come up with now oh come off it fill this egg cup with your own sweat and there's a weird mate most were twins you have 20 minutes your time starts now you must complete the whole task speaking in accent different to your own [Laughter] maybe do some press ups or something minute [Laughter] I'm a little bit confused cuz I mean it looks like you've only told Rob to speaking than that yeah yeah I'm in charge of @midnight this is genuine error I do catastrophic errors is focused rating and that's gonna be absolutely humiliating this could end my career given the dreadlocks yeah I'm as frustrated as you I really I mean I can't wait any longer let's get into it okay we'll kick off with Rob Rob okay here we go what temperature are warned we turn it on please nobody intended starves thank you all okay and bring the portable heaters in does it okay okay I'm gonna get me caught I got all the clothes I could find okay gonna get warm okay the whole Muffy's [Music] yeah you just comfort no result hard to what is there not coming out today I'm I need some help getting out what are you doing rub squeeze in my head there cup yeah is it working no I bet it was but it wasn't bartender speak and just try and move my tongue a bit different and I'll see what comes out I mean it seems to me you were doing an awful lot of work whilst Dave just built himself a greenhouse and settled though were you sweating in your little polythene grief cave no I find it very hard on on that they to generate any sweat you know it was I thought I was creating a sauna it took me basically most of 20 minutes to build it and then when it doesn't work you created some sweat cuz he created a sort of gutter system through your buttocks which is why I wore the gloves and we are five drops from DYFS from his ass yeah it's collected there down the back and then trickled in to use whatever gully God gives you robbed unfortunately not a single drop of sweat but twelve different accents including three news so about Paul Chaudhary why not why not indeed here we go [Music] [Music] screwball belt no drop Albemarle is gonna win this stuff [Music] tickling me for why is it that color I'm gonna ask you a straight question here might you block it out [Laughter] we know you've got some faint dreadlocks why was it that color cream myself before cream cream myself like earlier on that day you say that like it's standard practice your moisturize your own body and before you show us your body yeah okay I'm gracias same question why is it that colored man because the t-shirt rubbed onto the sweat and the kree cream and created some kind of a sweat fungus no black sweat fungus the color doesn't make a difference to my ear no it was all sweat 12 drops of sweat oh wow as pleasant as this is I'm afraid we have to take a quick break please return soon to discover just how sweaty Al Murray and Sarah Basco are bye for now [Applause] welcome back team did all the comics are trying to win Rob Beckett's loose eat light Alex please remind me where we're at hello there well our contestants are trying to fill an egg cup with sweat Paul Chaudhary is current in the lead with 12 drops next are we gonna see a Pasco Murray montage at last and we're right in thinking that sweat and urine are made of the stream just got a nice hot face they are the same thing medically they're your rear aren't they their urine and sweat for the same thing what boxing this sweatbox in its design dirty something you think I might have to get the people Swit own sweat what about they bought it off someone in this room I would technically own it does anyone want to sell me a drop of sweat for a pound you Bing yeah I've been and I reckon I can fill those in car I'm actually not doing too badly tripwires really yeah pretty cool there's bloody loads in there that's human sweat I've milked his head they go to pants [Applause] well listen Sara used a brain and bought some sweat I am totally allowing that yes she does own the sweat she does man two pounds for eight drops of sweat he's in second place now it's what you do with all owls we we you well I this will surprise you I'm not medically qualified so have you got an answer for me is sweat the same as al Murray's bright yellow urine we have consulted not one but two doctors we consulted the van tulleken twins from the telly so they both said well yeah they're both mostly water but by that logic you could have used beer as and said they're made in different ways by different part of the body and are easy to distinguish without the need for a scientific test and culturally everyone makes a clear distinction between them and Chris says nice try Murray but I'd fail em he's talking gibberish so it's up to you but at the time I said they're the same thing aren't they let's google it our urine and sweat the same thing Google said yes straightaway yeah it said no I wouldn't have done it I'd have run around like a [ __ ] do you know what how and if Google had paid their taxes I would allow you to go with the show doctors show doctors said there they produced by different parts of the body in different ways sorry Al's like how that resolved ok so tell us who actually robbed comes and forth with his zero drops of sweat unbelievable ok give him one clap it's Dave then Sarah then the winner for the first time mr. Porter see creaming yourself can pay to them okay we're really moving now what's next we have a we've got a task Oh Isis fun of it push me says the ball again push me ah wonderful did you do that was all over make the best Domino rally what's a Domino rally new it time starts now what we calling a Domino rally how are we defining that well you wanted to see them achieve a domino effect where one thing makes another thing happen one thing not so another thing over so didn't necessarily have to be dummy we gave them a thousand dominoes they was a they could be doing we also gave them a house full of items should we see some okay we're gonna kick off with Dave's literal approach [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] clearly with a straight back but genuinely impressive 434 Domino's I like pure Domino I read you know Domino rally is a rally of Domino's in the same way that I saw sweat a sweat rather than very literally my interpretation of the task just a really impressive Domino rally well very much done next Sara who wasn't initially into Domino's no but you gave it a good coat hello weird say that welcome to the concert yeah meanwhile at the back of the concert hi I'm Sara Pascoe I'm really dancing oh what's that in the distance I could hear a volcano oh no volcanoes erupted what's that smell oh my gosh it smells like that gas that makes everyone go we stiffen fall over Oh [Music] oh no this fallen overs may take that feel really mortal inside we're gonna pay all of our tax in future from being boards having a full full mental breakdown you don't you do play I really did buy the player throws brilliant yeah Gary Barlow cough up you've seen the domino representation rub rub Beckett's whoa straight ahead deadpan [Music] [Applause] [Music] I mean never predict the Domino rally would be a useful health and safety warning video it was very funny there's five people a ball pool a mattress a brush and a van and it was time for a break now on the other side of which we'll see Al Murray and Paul Chaudhary playing with dominoes it's a world exclusive see you soon [Applause] [Music] hi it's us master part three and in a new height for comedy our five comics are vying for a light-up hairband Alex Horne can you delight us with a quick recap please Greg yes we've seen a variety of Domino rally attempts we're yet to see out all Pauls we're gonna start with bounce right three two one oh you absolutely damn it Kyle see if the wrist would have worked [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Paul it allows face it was a really good idea though really good ol didn't work didn't work one more to see who's next the last one is Paul Chaudhary in court over in the show we we end on something that's either brilliant or not so Berlin yeah which way will we jump [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] no point were you told that you had to have an egg fall into a pan my friend was a hurdle of your own making I saw make eggs in the morning and it is incredible though Paul I mean that was incredible right yeah we're unfortunately for Allen Sarah despite their wonderful creativity they failed to knock all of their dominoes down and therefore they must share joint last place on this occasion fine but shame on you take that third place I'm gonna put Rob am i certain with that Rob Dave obviously Paul Chowdhury absolutely Rob's home in first place I think so slick okay here is a Toastmaster favorite oh that for me yes what was this so evil did rolled up twenty-pound hope so that kind of show is it I don't ask I like a shrewd way yes buy a gift for the taskmaster you have 20 weeks your time starts now I think we're gonna start with Rob Rob a footstool so you can't let you back to sort of stretch [Music] [Applause] I mean it's gonna take some baby love it Rob thanks very much right thank yes I've got a variety of items you're from from when I am yeah well I bought you a book called the story of wem well it's that thick I know you support web town I didn't know they existed on your Facebook page of one of your likes and I got you the program from their biggest ever game I have got you a a vintage bottle from the wem brewery close down the whimpers I went for all my school trips all of them and I brought you a single called when omaree now I have food taskmaster 20 pounds worth of the last Rolo thank you I had to we had a 300 rollover to achieve that and did you eat the 300 rollers what do you think zero next you ready for Sarah okay I was thinking about one of the things that money can't buy his time and I know that you're in a very successful sitcom called man down and also you have to write the sitcom and I thought what I would do if my money is right some of it for you 20 pounds I've only written one page the rest you have to pay for it page by page is genuinely blank trying to saves you some time there's a really great idea and we've left him to last again for Chowdhury well you're a man that likes women I've known you for a long time you've had a lot of women anyway don't say in that creature yeah I like women I like man it's all good the mainly women I mean a severed hand so you men that lets women oh it's not creepy it's a game of Twister really ain't gonna rate them no idea I'm putting man domes Sara's episode lust then I'm gonna put twister I'm sorry naked twister man I know I know what you're implying and soldiers are born out Rollo third it's second place the footstool my tank gets no publicity I'm putting take Gorman's when Ian gifts first beaver Shropshire when well he may have come last in the opening two episodes but poor Chowdhury is still in the lead yes what is next in line Alex this one Greg cooking [Music] hello hello Trey what I don't even understand pray the best black male that's don't they like that's a thing it's a fragment the taskmaster likes to eat males that look like flags okay an actual flag is please you have ten minutes to choose your flag and plan your meal then 30 minutes to prepare your meal best flag meal wins your time starts now right I'd need some rice and some food coloring I like facts I like food hmm and as always I have to taste the food for you yes of course do you want to see what Sara did for you yes please okay is Sara flying this is absolutely fabulous [Music] Oh Canada Oh Canada [Music] how long you been my country Oh Sarah hello Alex dinner's ready what flag is that you look at that Wow and it's only 15,000 calories is that mean accent hmm I think quite chilly [ __ ] no flag it looks great yeah and they said what does it gain Canada Canada yeah there's an impressive flag can we see it again whew one whoa pretty good it's a beautiful thing is it meal yeah it's starter and desserts they bring it to you and then you eat the fruit and then they bring it back when you've had your main and then you have the licorice and they're icing yes even up into Canada those guys eat oh it's traditional that's what it's they're happy and why they're all diabetic fancy owls what do you think what flying phiale did oh you did go on okay this is what L did well you asked for flag meal no yeah Great Britain only had a palace how do you do these these lines thank you with the spoons just laying you how okay i'm gonna taste a bit of yeah I'm sure each color I think I'm sure it's delicious I'm not sure it's delicious but I'll tell you in a minute don't we straighten mm-hmm straight forward don't know yeah a meal you'll note of that angle for coloring strange taste the red isn't it yes Father it's not unpleasant No thank you I'll glad you liked it mmm I mean like tis a you know no you liked it you know you weren't sick or anything if you're not I think you like it yeah no I wasn't sick delicious lovely union was it delicious I really like rice yeah just as well making that as well there were three whole bottles of food coloring two Reds one blue yeah it was all right it was all right didn't taste that bad did it can we call rice a meal you eat enough of it yeah we do you ate all that you'd be oh what a lovely meal Boombah Boombah let me have a look at Dave Gorman's flank meal [Music] mr. horn okay skull-and-crossbones surprise and there it is with one of the teeth and obviously some of the black black rice it's delicious delicious this is something you would eat at sea you know for months yeah and then it might taste all right break5 nail Dave thank you very much thank you did you enjoy the champagne with your meal no I didn't get me the champagne in the end that was any champagne in the meal that was some champagne in the chef so when you were asked what ingredients you wanted you ordered yourself a bottle the reaction of the crowd to the actual flag speaks for itself quails eggs some beans noodles you got some cauliflower lots of squid ink and right squid ink it's a cooking ingredient that's incredible if I were being chased by two boats with pirates on I would be most frightened of the last one that's what I thought it's very tasty but then I had drunk most of a bottle of YUM we still have the thrill of Paul and Rob's flack mails to come plus the final task of a show live on stage see you after the break [Applause] chapter of today's task master story will soon see five comedians upon the stage for our live task but before that we need to conclude the current conundrum Alix little reminder please yes well they've all been creating flag meals for me to try and for you to judge so far I've eaten Sarah's maple leaf owls Union Flag and Dave's Jolly Roger we're going to have a look at Rob [Applause] but now we can have a look at Rob back hello got your black dinner I'm so hungry konnichiwa Wow a dark red is very dark like red so what's up beat ruin it what it reminds me of just wrap up in is placenta it's it is what it is in the room I've had half of Japan I don't happen anymore that sure alright then thank you rob I mean the goal to deliver that and say konichiwa [Applause] I mean I was going for more you know accurate flag the mill one that is you've only done the middle bit of the flag you've ignored the rest we've only done a part of the flag isn't that just that bit it's a square around it I'd seasoned it with salt sounds like you've won there were two layers to the red some for some reason died a pancake red and then doused it in ketchup yeah we've we've left Paul to last for once oh now that can mean two things yeah they go yeah here we go and this is what he did [Music] we didn't reserve young man thank you Paul Wow what is it Mexican flag Dylan is it well I guess we should eat Mexico thank you like it no I don't think it looks like an eagle well you did look like an eagle you ate the beak viva la Mexico it did look like an eagle to you at the beak is the only thing that makes us able to recognize Eagles that they've got beats yeah so if an eagle wants to disguise itself [ __ ] add the glasses Biggles have got the beaks it's been to feature an eagle holding a serpent in its tail and perched on top of a prickly pear cactus and what did I use to represent that mustard know what it looks like is the Mali flag Oh Miley flag Mexico and Miley mixed up it's a good news though we didn't say that the flag had to look like the flag that you'd chosen you at Santa Clara meal that of a flag there was two flags and one there you did a subconscious Molly right well I think I think the crowds vote funny was when they saw Dave's Jolly Roger I hate to eat that meal it would sicken me but it was beautiful third place I would say yep surprise surprise out next to rob last we're sucked into our scores Alex Paul is still in the lead but it's not unassailable Dave is just two points behind okay every one of the time has come for you to leave the area and head to the stage that's right it's time for the final task of the show [Music] okay it's not immediately obvious as to what on earth is going on daddy could you please read the final task out there we go Dave anchor these balloons using only Bret simple as that right the person with the most fully inflated balloons resting on their mat and held down by bread alone after a hundred seconds wins it's the old classic good luck everyone 100 seconds starts good luck here we go [Applause] all you need to win this fall this could be your only opportunity [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] that is a technique it's literally made a balloon sandwich I don't want to point out when any particular individual is doing well but clearly someone is [Applause] everything is very [Music] three here we got two here for and then a lot over there twenty second round 20 seconds left Oh [Applause] okay calm down let's see how that's affected the final scores some pretty excited balloon ombred action there how did that go well in last place was owl Marie was too wiped out Paul who was in the lead came second last with three oh poor you guys everything to play for me then Dave with six Rob was seven Sarah got ten balloons very much the architect of that technique much like the Fonz be flop she'll be known for years to come I'm sure Fusco balloon poke great here it is let's find out the final score son please okay well first of all that you know that the series leadership has changed hands that's mr. Rob mechanized in charge of the sera sera incredible but who's this particular well sewed it's the highest-scoring episode so far and the winner was Paul Chaudhary credible all the battery-powered items Paul please go up and collect your jackpot welcome you and well done me so what we learn today that well we've learned if Al Murray ever offers to lend you his tracksuit think twice that might not be sweat that the winner of today's show was thanks everyone and farewell Frodo [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you for Walter Franta subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 2,680,607

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, The Horne Section, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Al Murray, Dave Gorman, Paul Chowdhry, Rob Beckett, Sara Pascoe

Id: s6zX3mQBrlY

Length: 45min 15sec (2715 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 07 2020