Taskmaster Series 3, Episode 1 - 'A Pea In A Haystack'

[Music] [Applause] [Music] hahaha [Music] [Applause] hello there i'm greg davis welcome to a brand new series of taskmaster we have five fresh comedy goliaths primed and ready to humiliate themselves in a series of tricky tasks all in the vague hope of taking home this the taskmaster trophy at the end of the series only one of them will take home my shiny golden bones as the ultimate winner of taskmaster so without further ado let's meet our new contenders they are al marie rob beckett and here my favorite servant a would-be friend alex horn [Laughter] tell them all a bit about yourself alex really yes okay hello my name is alex i'm 37 years old i like sport and i'm quite a kind person for example here are some raisins if you want some raisins i'm all right thanks if you want some raisins no no it's nice that they're there they're always there they're always in the pocket it's a new series and i'm expecting an incredible prize task category are you you're great so um to kick things off we asked our contestants to bring in their most flamboyant clock so whoever whoever brings in their most flamboyant clock will win the first points of the show maximum points and whoever wins the episode we'll go home with five flamboyant clocks okay um why have a normal clock when you can have a flamboyant clock al murray what's your flamboyant clock and why do you consider it to be flamboyant um uh my flamboyant clock is my stove at home um you can make out the clock just to the left of the knob on the right you see that that panel there is the clock yeah it comes with a hot plate five gas hobs two fan ovens um and uh a drawer for keeping stuff in and that's so you see this as a clock with an oven attached right yes dave what have you bought i'm like flamboyant is it a clock it is a clock uh at first glance it might appear to be just an ordinary digital clock uh but it's actually my microwave oven i would argue this is far more flamboyant than another of course you would but yeah because it's microwaves and they're magic oh yeah yeah but i can cook eight things at once with my clock or mine's a uh pop clock that you can wear on any item of clothing i've had this for 30 years this club yeah where's the flamboyance you can wear it with anything it's flamboyant yeah no but where's the flamboyance in the clock itself if i go out wearing al murray's oven i'm looking flat [Laughter] where's the flamboyance where you can put it on you know if you're wearing like a kilt or something so you [Laughter] brought um a sundial a tortoise sundial that's my most flamboyant clock i'm very late in the winter to things like for sure still relying on something yeah so in the summer though i'm always there pretty fanboy isn't it i don't know sort of thing my mum would consider wacky i think your mum's pretty quite nice lady oh she's lovely woman she's not flamboyant yeah i guess she is a little bit maybe you're right i mean sarah what you've been i really like your flamboyant tortoise well i've um uh played this properly and actually brought a flamboyant clock at last okay so here it is oh god it's flamboyant and it's it's genuinely a timepiece my boyfriend is a huge freddie mercury fan and he doesn't know that i've brought it are you trying to get rid of it i'm trying really hard to win this episode does it belong to your boyfriend it was a gift from me so technically i own it i don't think that's how gifts work it does in my family because if you fall out with a person you can go well i'm having that back oh listen the horrible truth is i'm gonna make really brutal decisions okay do you want to start in fifth place it is the braveheart pop swatch in fourth place oh no what's wrong well i can't really explain it but i'm putting the tour [Applause] it's toys an actual tour toys in third place i'm putting the microwave in second place this is the big one you're not gonna believe i've done this i'm putting the stove i don't believe you i'm putting the stove and i'll tell you why that's a clock okay time for the first full-blown class of the service alex yes what have we got we've got some track and field [Music] hi hello mate paul get to the microwave in as few steps as possible and open the door before the microwave dings there's five minutes on the clock if the microwave is under that tree where have you plugged it in then it's a generator behind the tree didn't those trees are generated as few steps as possible few steps as possible few steps as possible the microwave starts now [Applause] yeah um a simple task i wanted you to get to my microwave uh before the soup cooks in as few steps as possible i mean i don't know why it causes any confusion whatsoever it's a pretty straightforward task um we've mixed it up a little bit though i did a few hurdles literally and another hurdle in that i did ask alex if he could make sure there was a lot of goose [ __ ] on the track who are we gonna see first uh i think should we see rob great place to start let's have a look okay can i just give my coat yeah put it on if you want me nice in the sun isn't it right i'm gonna roll there [Music] oh quite a little quite far away in it [Music] oh dizzy [Music] it gets you really dizzy quit that this is the future mate i've got the coming goose [ __ ] i thought i might be sick oh i've just had a coffee as well right he's gonna expo what other ways can i get there without stepping [Music] [Applause] i just have to [Applause] arguably more efficient way of transporting yourself about well if you're fun don't have a big coffee beforehand i thought it was me sick up my eyes so you must have a very weak constitution i don't know why drinking a massive coffee and then rolling around and gushing would make you feel sick any steps involved there were just a couple of little ones just before the maneuver i sensed to step over the just before that because you saw we all saw the forward reach over we go tumble with pike which is a 6.2 difficulty level uh there were four little steps just before the flip and that was it the rest was right wow and his time was irrelevant four steps who's next we're gonna have a look at paul and dave [Music] you gotta step [Music] [Applause] is that step [Music] oh [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] okay good day yeah incredibly quick [Music] [Music] thank you paul your soup ready sir lovely well that's piping hot good technique sepal thank you [Applause] it's very early uh for me to be trotting out chinese proverbs but uh that does make me think of the classic when is a step not a step when it's on a [ __ ] hurdle is that a step i thought that was just it's only got a catchphrase it is slightly relevant he took well over seven minutes [Music] the total steps i counted was 125. a lot more than if you just walk casually if i was able to give artistic style points mate you'd be romping ahead in there it was awesome i was intrigued by yours dave because i've seen some of your shows and they're incredibly meticulously thought out and clever and uh i think i thought the task was in steps but as few of them as possible oh i see so you thought you had to be stepping yeah apart from when i did the forward roll i thought wet it out that was really good how many steps 50 steps or if we use paul chowdhury's uh definition still 50 cents up next al murray and sarah pascoe together the floor is so gross [Music] [Applause] oh [Music] [Music] none of it steps is it [Music] oh so much [ __ ] this is a metaphor for show business are they steps no it's so poorly alex i mean really click the door open you've got plenty there we go that's the soup what have i got to eat the soup there we go thank you what flavor soup is it pea oh smashed it thank you my initial impulse on watching sarah's technique is it was just fancy stepping in leather trousers admittedly stylistically incredible can we ask the expert paul was it a step there were some steps i i counted it as 27 steps okay talk to me about al i counted eight little steps for the whole run i'm pretty pleased with that he was walking on his knees every definition of step i found involved the foot nothing mentioned the knee so uh okay that's out of order so i mean these are the results essentially paul you're disqualified i'm so sorry because you didn't do it within the time nothing to do with your incredible understanding of stepping in fourth place it's uh dave big stepper gorman third place that's sarah in second place it's it's al mainly kneeling some stuff and in first place an incredible shitty sicky performance thank you rob the roller alex i think it's time for the first scoreboard update please okay well it's very close it's uh there's a tie there's a tie for the lead al and sarah both have eight points [Music] great i want the next task of course here we go [Music] hi hi al what's this it's for you it's for me it's a frozen pea we're supposed to eat this no no open that first yeah propel this p the furthest distance your p must land and remain on the red carpet i'll just frighten this will the p definitely land on the oh so the p's got a what's up to you whatever you think the target the p must land on that well it's going to land on it is that that's on the carpet well that that will be on the carpet there's a p in there isn't it doesn't say that p must land on the car the p will be on the carpet it doesn't say must make contact with the carpet you do what you think's right rob well if davey's got a problem with it i'll knock him out i mean there's a few things to address though i mean you're a younger man than me and you're probably fitter but if i get one homemaker on you mate i will arguably kill you and the second thing is don't disrespect me or i'll make you come last okay worth us talking about the fact that what they shouldn't do obviously is to fling the peak because there's the carpet and then there's the grass well no one's gonna get that task and see a tiny pea and a red carpet in a windy garden thing i'm just going to bung this well no we've picked some very uh these are intelligent people right very bright very bright yeah so we'll start with sarah paul and david let's see how far this gets then [ __ ] this ain't going to work is it i've lost a pee you gave me a green pea never got to find the poo any clues i think it's on the on the grass i can't see it on the carpet yeah we could spend a lot of time looking for a pee i mean but how do we know where it is you can see that it's on the carpet is it on the right it's on the carpet yeah okay i've got a measuring tape okay centimeter this is this centimeter yes have you got a spare p it had to be that p i'm afraid it's going to be the exact p start finding a p in a haystack ah [ __ ] i'm just gonna go and have a sit down can i get you anything a p not to use just like i quite like a p compare it to or as a comparison yeah that'd be nice and also you know i just like a as a snack of frozen i will get your people i will mark the p if you wouldn't mind okay thank you very much oh that was further that's fine with me alex it's a new personal best 18. 18 meters and 27. hey i'm glad you went again now i brought you a pee but i don't think you should eat it because i sort of injected it with black ink i i do trust you but i don't entirely trust you okay no that's fine i'm just gonna i'm gonna eat this one you're eating it yeah swallowed oh my god it's wasting the strings of the of the racket [Applause] [Music] well unlucky i suppose paul no score no score on that one would you like us to measure that yeah no that's not as far as closest to that leaf are you sure you want to measure it anyway yeah measure it anyway because it's on there congratulations on 12 meters 11. thank you very much i'm very very pleased with that please do that i can't imagine someone beating 12 meters 17 meters fourteen he's also didn't we [Music] want to go throwing a respectable it's just pretty fun [Applause] i mean i was mocking of the idea that someone would just grab the pee and bung it up the carpet but she hit the carpet every time right yeah she only did it three times and then went in 18 meters and 27 centimeters yeah i mean it's not a sentence i thought i'd ever say but you know great pee throwing thank you so much paul i think you're having a mayor at the moment you said propel the piece i got a cricket bag to propel it she just chucked the peep oh there's so many words i'm gonna have to teach you dave yes okay let's cut to the chase here yeah i'm gonna ask you a question yeah very simple question yeah and i want you to answer honestly now you're not in trouble but i'm asking you directly now yeah did you cheat no i'm gonna ask you one more time did you cheat no greg no i did not we can see the racket there so that's where it got it got wedged i mean it looks firmly where shouldn't it die it was wedged yeah i mean you can also see the racket just after you struck the p um he's gone or has it [Applause] [Applause] i know what's happened here i know what's happened here at some point while trying to search for the p i was using the racket i believe him sorry i believe dave who's next alex do you want to have a look at uh rob rob beckett okay here is rob propel can i put it in the wheelbarrow and then tip it on the thing if i go round and round that's propelling it with false or drive uh-huh and then when i finish [ __ ] bang it on there [Applause] that's 30 meters yeah i've not stopped i know so you're slowing me down i'm telling it forward with drive and motion it looks like propelling well if you'd hurry up i'll be propelling a bit more one lap is 81 meters 30 centimeters 81 meters right i'm gonna do a thousand and then i'll put it on the carpet that number four this is the fourth one uh you've done three i think yeah yeah yeah it's nice having a good propel won it you're over 300 meters now that's probably enough i reckon i'll do one more just to keep getting the safe side [Music] okay so what i'm gonna do [Music] so is plus another another eight meters 404 one four we've got one fourth four hundred and fourteen how long have i got left on the time propel definition it's a verb drive or push something forwards mate i've just drove a wheelbarrow forwards 414 meters 440 meters and 53 centimeters it's landed on the red carpet and it's remained there yeah thank you rob i mean incredible yeah it was almost like you were justifying it in uh anticipation of an argument it's not normal i use words to my advantage we've got al murray next okay [Music] it's landed on landing on the carpet yep [Music] [Applause] let's see how far we get the p to go okay i've got to go as far as i can and back in the next 20 minutes if we can just go up the m4 as far as we can 1.5 miles now this is fantastic yeah making a lot of progress 16 miles there we go just shy of 18 miles 18 miles brilliant just on the right thanks bob check for peas probably oh oh oh oh yes it remained on the carpet [Music] it was propelled right did he propel it al paid for the cap he paid 150 pounds amazing watching someone pay 150 pounds to take a pee to slough i can't wait for that taxi driver in a pub going seriously the pub landlord hailed me drive into slaughter for peace weirdly i know his niece lovely little detail she's a gp in croydon i do like how croydon did uh owl propellers p 18 miles exactly 18 miles 18 miles now here's the news dave has been disqualified for cheating ladies and gentlemen [Music] sorry that's what's happened yeah that's very bad news although i do admire you having a go what's great news is even though you lost it you did propel the pain you get points he's in fourth place and he's got two points in third place he's arguably the only person who entered into the proper spirit of pea throwing sarah pascoe uh that's three points in second place with rob with his awesome barrow work uh four points and in first place alex how does that affect their scoreboard well we have an outright leader now and that is obviously mr al murray okay one more task please okay uh i'm really trying my best to please you and this one is a christmassy task [Music] [Laughter] make the best snowman you're one hour your time well that's pretty tricky isn't it it's not snowing i suppose i should check out the window to see if it started snowing what's the weather like rob ball me well it's not going to stone her now is it no 11 o'clock sunny it's 10 o'clock now no snow today tomorrow no snow there's no snow this week you didn't think it was going to snow you were just messing around no i thought because it snowed in april this year didn't it when prince died he wrote that song it snowed in april then he died a week later so yeah you shouldn't use that to forecast weather there's never ever been purple rain uh who's first well i thought we'd start off with a little enthusiastic robecca again oh little rob little eager look a little robbed right basically snow's out the window i was gonna get loads of marshmallows and do that but then it's just a marshmallow man in it will marshmallow stick together as you sort of try to oh got all the marshmallows you've got a lot haven't you [Music] that's a bit of one you have to really squeeze [Music] 90 seconds rob no worries mate thank you rob i'll take that are you pleased with that if you're after a snowman no but i thought if you can't make it make something that looks like it i think it was a lovely marshmallow amanda yeah i don't well i can't you can't make snow so i thought i'll just make one that looks like a snowman if if a child had made a like a christmas card at school and it was made out of cotton wool making a snowman you wouldn't go look at it and go that's not a snowman you would say that's a lovely snowman oh no no i would kick it out of their hands and say that's not a scene who's next uh i've grouped alan sarah together again no yeah do you want to see them yeah okay so we i could make a mold of some kind fill it with water put it in the freezer i need like four liters of vanilla ice cream and a bag of raisins and some wool to make the scarf a couple of colors please you gotta diversify these days haven't you [Music] i can't remember her not being able to plant [Music] look it's a snowman i'm gonna call him scoopy now some of this is gonna be base jam it into the tray yes and that's your snowman's shape [Music] it is okay carrot's too big [Music] there we go oh actually i've got an idea there is some ice in here so i'm going to add some ice to it which will speed up its freezing process this will help it along there we go okay 40 minutes left now so we're gonna great 35 minutes we'll check it we'll check it should have frozen solid by then we'll take it out job done the coal buttons [Music] so there he is i don't want to come out of the box he's lovely isn't he scoopy [Music] i'm happy isn't he nice [Music] i said in the studio while we were watching those that um watching al make it is like watching man in the middle of a breakdown and then i expected to be corrected when i saw the snowman be a thing of great beauty what i saw was a monstrous [Music] well i see that i see a creature in pain i see a chernobyl snowman saying kill me someone killed me i have no doubt that would make my nieces cry is their uncle a cab driver oh wow i mean i do love it al it's incredible serious what do you think of sarah's snowman [Applause] ice cream is as close as ice is milking clouds if it has evaporated enough of it then yes well arguably the cows might spill a bit of milk sometimes yeah arguably arguably do you want to see scoopy again yes i want to see scoopy again i think about him every day [Music] [Applause] and you know what at the end of that vt scoopy was still happier than al snowden do you want to want to raise him you're an inspiration there's a really lovely ice cream man who's left it's dave and paul i think we'll see dave first oh dear can i get a very large um bucket and 200 packets of powdered potato okay so yeah as soon as you can please right i'll read you oh that's very good is that enough no that's good that's good the kettle is on so if you could start getting some boiling water yeah that's lovely thank you i've got another one yeah please i'll be honest it's not as white as i was hoping it's quite yellow it's very yellow smells nice dave your snowman do you think school dinners [Music] let's try see what this looks [Music] like i'm actually quite happy with that that's all right what's coming on isn't it [Music] is there a hose anywhere yes there is a hose is that connected [Music] uh [Music] have you got the carrot would you like me to get you the carrot i'd like the carrot please [Music] i'm quite happy with i that earlier in today's show i was a little concerned about your literal interpretation of some of the tasks steps the big step thing um you're back in the game because someone says make a snowman and you ask for mash really nice thank you okay uh we're yet to see paul cherry's attempt would you like to see what he used i mean genuinely more than anything can you buy me a slush puppy what flavour it's no flavor a bag of ice two slush puppies and a white teddy excellent okay good finally there's a snowman bearing it how's that it's even the expression and the tears reflects what i'm going through on the inside bastard's crying in it right at the end just as the final image of a snowman was in place he said the bastard's crying in it [Applause] i'm starting to think we shouldn't be laughing at paul i've got so many questions i want to ask you paul my first question is is everything all right snow bearing a bear she's a rabbit with somebody it's not that's not a bird it's a rabbit it was power it was powerful wouldn't it in the room we were we were moved in this incredible look at it i like it he used ice yeah i was about to say it's something i've written down now and thanks for backing paul up he has used something cold in his snowman which is one of the traditional elements of a snowman it's built of a cold substance there you go so in that regard well done and i'll go further if this was about artistry and about creating something that really moves people you'd have won this task however um we agreed some criteria and uh they were you know they should be recognizable as a snowman uh traditionally the snowman's outdoors like daves for example recognizable elements we agreed traditional traditional elements like the scarf the carrot nose which we provided the eyes and then scale we thought you know when people are making a snowman they normally go for being that's a big one bigger bugs yeah who's in last place greg in fifth place it's uh paul's church not artistically mate number one in fourth place it's rob because he was made out of marshmallows number three ow oh uh second place uh we're putting the ice cream uh sarah and even though it wasn't made out of cold stuff we think that dave made the best uh snowman there it is it's dark how's that affected the scoreboard well it's tight it's tight to the top there's one point separating the top two people there's three points separating the top three and paul's still in it so let's have a look owl al's in first place for 16 points there we go it's near the end of the show but before we can find out our winner there's one more thing to do so for the first time this series will you all please head to the stage for the final task looks like uh all five of our contestants have got some lovely new friends there rob would you read out the task please hi rob hi mate you're right are you okay yeah great i'm just going to crack on with this though balance your swedes on your swede your swede must remain standing at all times your swedes may only balance on the exterior of your swede most swedes resting on a swede after 100 seconds win lot of sweden so in summary as many swedes on a swede in the time allowed and the swede has to be standing up swede must remain standing at all times you can manipulate your sweden any other way and when alex says you can manipulate them in any way you want emotionally leave them alone good luck everyone get sweden [Music] the head barely on the head oh my god going back are you one two three four five six seven eight nine 12 12. [Music] [Applause] is a bit of a disadvantage on the old space 20 [Applause] there's a lot seconds yeah it's respectable it's respectable 15 seconds left 50 seconds seconds after which you must step away five seconds four three two one [Applause] the boys the boys step away step away you can step there ladies and gentlemen with uh thanks to our regular fred and to the london swedes [Applause] [Music] alex how were they at sweden swede balancing great question great swedes lovely sweets well uh sarah and rob found it awkward and they both achieved eight swedes wow it's the reasonable amount of sweets to get on the sweet it's an even number then we've got dave 11 swedes [Applause] that must have affected our final scores don't get your hopes up paul [Applause] winner of the series and the owner of five flamboyant clocks please al head to the stage to collect your prizes so there we are another exciting series uh underway thanks for all your help alex thanks for letting me help greg and deck in it what have we learnt today well what we've learned today is if you want to scare your children just get al murray or paul choudry to make them a snowman but most importantly despite that we found out that our winner of episode one of series three of taskmaster is mr al murray thank you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for more task faster subscribe now [Music] you

Channel: Taskmaster

Views: 1,119,423

Keywords: Taskmaster, Alex Horne, Greg Davies, Frank Skinner, Josh Widdicombe, Romesh Ranganathan, The Horne Section, Tim Key, Dave Channel, UKTV, Red Dwarf, Would I Lie To You, 8 out of 10 cats, Taskmaster full episodes, james acaster, sara pascoe, al murray, rob beckett, dave gorman

Id: u6XVoKI3AnE

Length: 43min 27sec (2607 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 16 2022