Starfield in a Nutshell

welcome to Starfield you start off deep in the mines harvesting some burum which is actually a real type of raw metal God I love miners mine workers are also great I head deep inside the caves and find some mysterious group of floating minerals and so I pick one up and then get transported to another dimension the Character Creator menu I create a character who looks like he sold a few of his own organs for smack and then I have a look around the staff quarters I start stealing everyone's stuff are you really playing a Bethesda game if you don't pick up absolutely everything until your character BEC comes incumbered and can't run I even steal this guy's lunch hey that was my sandwich we exit the facility and degraded with a large open world this big ship lands and some dodgy astronaut gets out to speak with us but I ditch the gang to go exploring I find lots of rocks I then have to run all the way back and I swear to God my character smokes a pack a day how do you run out of breath in Low Gravity it's either emphaser or the fact I picked up every single possible item in the staff quarters the Pirates then attack our humble mining Community they're not even cool relatable Somali pirates they're space pirates and so I kill them all the dodgy astronaut is like wow that was impressive here I have my spaceship and robot he just gives them to me so the plot can rapidly move forward I guess the big girl wants me to investigate a research station that has gone dark the ship's pretty cool it's got one bed so when we get a crew we'll all have to cuddle up together hopefully it's an all male crew of miners I take off into space and I'm immediately engaged by more Pirates but I take them out because I'm built different I'm stronger than lizzo's bed frame faster than a boy on prom night than sneakier than even the most covert of stepdads I land on this new planet via a cut scene I locate the research facility and begin the search for survivors inside the lab I find something truly disturbing motivational posters I used to share an office with this girl who put out motivational posters and she had this one that said attitudes are contagious is yours worth catching it made me want to kill myself every single morning but she was really hot so I pretended to like them I kill a bunch of pirates and then come face to face with their leader I surprisingly managed to convince him I'm not a threat he's clearly not a great judge of character I just murdered 20 of his men we make peace with the Pirates I proceed to push several of these flammable containers right next to the pirate king and he isn't even faced I then shoot them killing every single one in a fiery explosion I'm pretty sure the Geneva Convention doesn't extend to space like the video if you enjoy war crimes my work on this planet is done so I hyper jump to a friendly Planet you might be wondering why everyone's shooting me on this friendly Planet well I forgot to record a few minutes of gameplay and in that time I became an Intergalactic space terrorist why put children in the game obviously everyone's going to try and kill them I have to fight off several waves of security but eventually they just give up now I'm good to explore again but I swear to God these space kids have no sense of humor your parents would be disappointed in you is that really an appropriate thing to say to a child I'm holding too many items to run so I drop them all in a perfect circle on the ground just like in real life a soldier then approaches me and says I need to go go to jail what's the penalty for 26 murders many of which were unarmed technicians 7 Days in prison harsh but fair I get through my sentence without getting to bend over once I mean having to bend over once I also decide to start playing in third person because it looks cooler in my opinion I continue following the main story regarding that mysterious piece of floating metal from the beginning of the game I meet this girl called Sarah who looks exactly like that chick I worked with that hung the motivational posters everywhere I wonder if you can romance her in this game I'm definitely going to find that out later in private I mean I put the piece of metal in and it's amazing wow she's now following me around so we can solve the metal mystery but I decide instead that I will join the Army I want the camarad ship that these Boy Scouts have I head up to the Vanguard headquarters and they're excited to have me sign up I head inside and enroll for the exam I love the detailed side quest in Bethesda games you actually have to sign up and then you walk through these displays learning the Vanguard history it's very immersive I passed the final exam and just like that where a probation AR Soldier our initial mission is to investigate a research facility that's gone dark basically the exact same Mission we did earlier Sarah's like w w w I think we should explore the magic metal mystery first I ignore her and instead buy myself a jetpack it's my new favorite thing in the world we set course and land on a planet that's darker than America's no fly list it becomes immediately apparent that either someone forgot to put the wet floor sign out or a giant mutated alien spider has ravaged this base I go and speak with the only Survivor who confirms the monster was the giant alien and asks me to kill it I look out the window and see the Alien Spider absolutely decimate some dinosaur looking thing I proceed to go around turning on all the automatic turrets and they make short work of the giant alien spider it's quite surprising that no one else thought to turn on the automatic turrets before I fly back to Vanguard headquarters I decide to explore the planet a little bit I run pretty far in One Direction and find more alien dinosaurs one of them almost kills Sarah but she can't die because the only thing thicker than her is her plot armor I fly back and report to the chief who's like congratulations you are now a Vanguard Soldier he gives me my uniform and I'm now part of the military I almost join the military in real life but then I realized you're not allowed to smoke weed and shoot terrorists they're super strict on that I think I'd be a great Soldier though I'd bring the fun back to War I can see myself hot boxing a tank with the boys I might not have all my limbs but I'd have a portable speaker at all times every day at 4:20 p.m. i' lighter joint and as my lighter clicked all the shooting would stop and there'd be a perfect silence both forces would lay down their weapons and pass around the joint ending the Savage conflict as common ground was reached all of the soldiers would then kiss on the lips I'd make a great Commander one of the perks I selected at the beginning of the game means I get my own house upon arrival a message pops up saying big girl's home which I absolutely love the place is pretty empty but there's a note on the table saying I owe $125,000 to the bank just when I thought I could play some video games to distract myself from my real life mortgage I proceed to decorate the house by placing one white couch down I was hoping for one black couch I take off and head to the bank so I can sort out this mortgage situation the banker is like haha there's nothing I can do enjoy your crippling debt lifestyle God this game is immersive the banker does employ me as a debt collector so at least I scored a job out of it Sarah is like blah blah blah metal pieces magic blah blah shut up Sarah I'm now a debt collector and I take my job very seriously we fly to the moon and I start suffocating as I forgot to wear a helmet Oopsy Daisy classic space mistake I find the house in which the deta is hiding but more importantly I find a giant space car thing the car lets you sit in the driver's seat but not actually drive it that's the equivalent of a girl putting her hair on a ponytail and then telling you she wants to talk I enter the structure and speak to the man I try and convince him to pay his debts but he refuses to I respect it but then he gets hostile and I have to kill him well in truth I was looking for any reason to pop him why have power if you don't exert it regularly I jump around in Low Gravity for longer than I care to admit and then eventually head back to the bank he's like cheers big girl you're a rose among Thorns I head back to my ship and the dock is still lited with corpses the city will send someone to another solar system to collect debt but can't keep the streets clean God this is really so realistic and thanks to everyone who got the first limited edition modest Pelican water bottle that's now sold out I was pretty overwhelmed with the support I'm already cooking up our next drop but there's still some T-shirts available at modest printing.com remember that mutated spider I killed well I took a exle from it and I need to deliver the vial to a scientist so we can figure out why they're appearing everywhere a pretty noble Mission if you ask me but sassy Sarah is pulsating passive aggressive energy I hope you have a good reason for landing here I proceed to kill her except you still can't as she's pivotal to the plot I make my way inside the Fortress to try and get a meeting with this scientist to do this I need to speak to the receptionist Trevor I've got actual issues I admit but I proceed to gun Trevor Down In Cold Blood it will never not be funny to me killing NPC but this time the consequences were obscenely big the receptionist rushes me with a fire axe but I gun her down like she was a woman wearing a t-shirt and shorts in the Middle East there's simply too many of them to fight so I run for the exit by some sort of miracle I escape with my life I wait 30 seconds and reenter but they're still super pissed off about Trevor he must have been a well-liked guy I die but at least I leave a pretty beautiful corpse I reload my save and try to fight my way through the Amada but I die once then twice then three times this wouldn't be so bad but I never saved the game once so I'm stuck here inside the Fortress the game does autosave but it only keeps the three most recent saves available and it auto saves every 2 seconds so basically I'm stuck here and all the recent saves are also stuck here if I was any more stuck Johnny Sins would show up and bang me himself I then come up with a cunning plan I may only have five health and no Med packs but I eat absolutely everything in my inventory all those sandwiches I picked up are suddenly looking pretty genius right now I must have eaten some spe speed enhancer and I'm able to Sprint through the entire base and make it all the way to my ship I take off into space a free man or so I thought as soon as I enter space I'm blown out of the sky instantly again and again and again I decide instead to explore the surface of Mars that it seems to be the only area I can actually survive in without getting capped after searching for 7 minutes I find a structure surrounding the structure is a gaggle of robots who don't seem hostile maybe this is where I can start a life for myself Sarah and I will repopulate m one of the robots then koosed me in one hit I tried to fight I tried to wait but after looking at the game forums I learned many other Brave players were also stuck here this planet became my prison and there was nothing I could do but violently scream unfortunately I think Starfield is a pretty great game so I started over from the very beginning this time making lots of saves I eventually caught back up to where I was I decide to see what happens if I go to a random place and just explore and check out what's going on I land at a civilian Outpost and make my way over I meet this woman who looks like she'd complain at a restaurant and she tells me one of her friends is trapped in a cave nearby I agree to help her out but I think our definitions of nearby are very different I walk maybe 3 or 4 km over to this cave I honestly thought the game was glitched there are more dinosaurs but for the most part if you keep their distance they chill like that I reach the cave and find the last crying in the dark relatable content I battle my way back to the Outpost fighting off groups of aliens at every turn this last I'm saving keep walking slowly there's Giant Monsters Everywhere maybe a slow jog wouldn't kill you she gives me 4,000 credits for my effort which I personally don't think's enough it was a very long walk learning nothing from my past mistakes I proceed to kill her fortunately none of her friends really care which I can understand she was pretty annoying despite the annoying glitch that made me restart and in turn gave me crippling depression Starfield in my opinion is a pretty sick game I mean even while making this video I've been playing it so much on my breaks if you like the Fallout games I'd recommend this for sure I even hopped in my spaceship and landed on Earth I managed to land right in Los Angeles and they've done a great job here very impressive no look the boys and I have been chatting and everyone's Keen to play Grand Theft Auto online again I think we all needed a healthy break but there's been a few updates and yeah we're keen to play again like the video or let me know in the comments if you'd like to see the sons of virgins GTA online return thanks for watching you absolute Legends I love you oh baby it's triple a

Channel: Modest Pelican

Views: 1,494,448

Keywords: funny gaming, gameplay, funny video, gaming, funny gaming video, funny gaming moments, satire, funny, modest pelican

Id: rCAuf674yuk

Length: 11min 30sec (690 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 05 2023