South Park The Fractured But Whole The Movie

what has become of this city there used to be laws justice not anymore crime is out of control cats are missing and townspeople are being victimized oh hey boo pooped on my porch we were supposed to protect those who couldn't protect themselves get off the car you now superheroes are torn apart by political differences we are two sides at Lourdes [Music] but lore isn't going to save our city time fellas my only hope now myths tell of ancient times when a new king United a kingdom torn apart by a powerful scape hi hon Shannon there's no time to waste I have to go back change the present if I can find his cat and the doing so perhaps I can change what has happened [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] take it to the king they got the bait they're wearing bicycle helmets where is the king [Music] we should be happy that he's made friends in this town so quickly we came here to hide more friends just means more trouble you're being paranoid you need to lay off that stuff it's changing you oh one thing that helps me relax from your stupid oh hey whippersnapper didn't see you there and your friends are downstairs kiddo get out there and play [Music] [Applause] [Music] but you just move to town and you get to be king I figure a little stand aside or die we're going through that door you can't oh my gosh because everything and buddy here is lava oh you've no way all that is lava you have everything from here you here is all but you can't find it check come on let's get inside we can't they're seeing everything in further towards lava that's not fair [Music] oh my god he defeated the dragon no frickin way that kids I'm anything where are you maybe there's a way through the garage my lord if there's a way in through the garage the cake will find it yes the king can find these secret way into the rug if I mean if there is one speak Bard what happened to the stick of truth the wizard had it thrown into the ocean lies you shall feel the wrath of a Moorish unhand him you ethan's release the bottle you'll have the King to do it a king they say he can slay a dragon with one blow that's right if you don't wait wait where is it I thought he was with you guys now we got a distress they gonna come help him here the wizard is gown my name is the king I'm from the future dude we said we're not play got any more yeah we're all split up what's the point this is the point in mad time there is a massive crime wave and missing cats I knew my only hope was to assemble the team hey you can't switch games like this where's the stick of truth shut up Kevin isn't about some dumb stick there's a cat in trouble and it's the key to funny the crime syndicate new to our town in the future crime syndicate then that sounds too heavy for and friends well what do you want tag you want the freedom pal to find the missing cat get the hundred dollar reward and make their superhero franchise more popular that's right oops again there's a laugh ringing coming from your basement playroom the alert come on friends go get your stuff and report back to the cool air key in the future and friends this symbol sorry guys you can't play with us we're playing Super Heroes now and you guys are dorks yes officer somebody appears to have put lava in front of my door but no it's not hot but my son told me I will burn to death if I try and cross it uh-huh oh yes he did tell me that if I step on a crack it would break my mother's back [Music] you mom know anything that's not enough mosquito we have to act fast before the freedom pals can a hundred dollar reward do you know what that could mean to our superhero franchise that cat looks pretty old maybe just died in the gutter somewhere human kite do I have to remind you that as of right now freedom pals have a hundred followers on Instagram we have six the five of us and Billy Turner who's a ginger this is the key to finally baiting those but where do we start looking that cat could be anyway we need to split up mosquito take to the air and check out all the city parks you got it mosquitoes away human catch see if the cat is stuck up a tree somewhere you've got the storm drain super Craig Fast Pass I need you to use your superhuman speed to get to the mayor's office and tell her we're on the case don't worry you can count on it to get there today super Craig super Craig this is Kim do you copy super Craig the are you I repeat the are you super Craig oh wait now the security system isn't working dude what the ordinary citizens aren't allowed in the kun air we're playing superheroes now and you aren't a superhero new kids so off okay all right look you can watch us play superheroes as long as you don't get in the way make yourself useful go grab me the stuff Ernest e device it's over there well that took long enough the first C device active [Music] you really want to be a superhero huh play with the big boys well maybe maybe you can be useful have a seat at the table douchebag let's see mosquitoes a B else Jesus Christ not there that's mosquito seat all right in order to play superheroes you have to have a superhero persona then you can fill out your character sheet on Koontz - Graham do you have a crew C Graham page yeah boy you're not even on can't see Graham have well I guess I can create one for you okay douchebag but now we need to find out what terrible thing in your past drives you you see douche all superheroes have a compelling backstory it's from that backstory that their powers gained meaning let's take you back to when you were just a child you lay awake that night like so many other nights you couldn't sleep because you knew you weren't like the other kids you walked to the mirror you walk you looked in the mirror and you felt alone and that's when it happened a loud noise you swore you could hear your mother calling for help you left your room out in the hallway you saw two intruders in front of your parents door you had to stop them from hurting your parents you knew you had the power to stop them for the first time you called upon your black your powers as a blazing blaster hero you began to overheat as a fire in your belly and yet it and so you beat them all seem to be okay but then you finally reached your parents door and what you saw when you open that door changed your back forever and led you to fighting crime you were too late because when you open that door you saw you saw your dead your man Wow that's a pretty heavy backstory you fight crime because you never forgot the night you weren't intent and you saw your own father the man you trusted your mind it's like a ripple in time you can't ever change isn't it alright now that you're a superhero I have a mission for you I need you to go out into town and try to get as many followers as you can on Koontz - Graham it's the only way our franchise was revived hey kid you know anything about this somebody's King my wife's car at night it's happening every night I thought it was just one of you damn kids but wolf here come here take a look at this whoever scratching the car is also leaving notes I'm just scared it's a jilted lover or something you won't forgive me that easy I thought we had something I'll tell the world about you listen I'm sick of having to puff this out if you can catch whoever's keying my wife's car tonight I'll follow you on Koontz to Gram trust me you want me as a follower I'm a pretty big deal in this damn who the hell are you really you send a newbie to my distress call you're such a dick sorry kid but my problem is too big for a rookie a few days ago there was an anomaly in the universe another version of me the human kite from an alternate dimension showed up here and it's destroying everything right now is upstairs in my room I don't think anything can stop it human kite from another universe is behind this door I can't fight it for obvious reasons you know alternative universe paradox so you are going to have to take him out you've got to really kick his ass dude so that he wants to return back to his universe on the East Coast you ready all right go get him oh hey Kyle I'm big who's your friend did you come to play with us from another universe what do you mean Kyle we're chained remember I'm not from another universe we're like best super pals as you can see he is the one running around getting to him a kind of bad name he was sent here to destroy me and weaken my power no no I came to spend two weeks with my cousin and wanted to play superheroes and then he said okay what super hair do you want to be and I said I want to be a human kite but he said you can't be a human kite I'm giving height and I said well why can't we be human kites together so I went to Aunt Sheila and I said I want to be human kites together and she told him he had to do what I said since I was a guest remember I'm sorry me from another universe but it is time for you to learn that playing superheroes is too painful no kid you have now destroyed my alter ego how jay-z's we're gonna fight that's right if you really want to play then this is how you do it well all right anything to make me and my cousin more alike prepare for battle we've seen [Music] all right here we go my super ultimate power get ready are you ready oh Jesus okay Ralph kite from an alternate universe [Music] oh I think I might have mentioned my hernia you had enough alternate me yeah the superhero stuff really hurts I better go back to my University oh you're leaving dude that sucks yeah I'll be going back to my University now human kite I need some came to Phoenix for my ear because I got a scrape on it they're being farted on dude I don't know how to thank you from now on call of you whatever you need help greetings citizen it is I super Craig I'm sorry but I cannot assist anyone with their problems right now super Craig can't fight his guinea pig go tell the COO that I'm not playing until I fight strike he's not just adorable guinea pig he belongs to be in my ex-boyfriend that's right super Craig is gay I'll bet stripe is down in the basement again we should start at the basement that's the last place I saw it [Music] yes drive a brilliant rescue but it wasn't just me we have but Lord it is sickening to think you get a new me if you ever need help you can count on there you are but huh being a superhero is a little harder than you thought huh it's okay you totally suck but I can't help but feel sorry for you because your dad you up when you reach out come this way I'm gonna teach you about artifacts you see most superheroes augment their abilities with specialized equipment it's a strength you'll find things like these out of a town the trick is to equip them into your artifacts go on give it a shot you'll find more artifacts out there during your superhero adventures you can even craft your own just remember with great power comes great checks and money I think you're ready to take on those sixth graders now don't give up he'll find your twins I'm a man of their space monkey yes that's raisins new kid mosquito must be inside get in there but you're not be tempted by their amazing wings and hot [Music] come right over here cutie one of our raisins girls I'll be right with you just the cutest thing you sure can't eat a lot of wings yeah so then I flew it to the sky and I beat up all the bad guys well I didn't know his ski toes can be so tough yeah well ever heard of the Zika virus another plane wings cutie sure just put it on my tab big spender hey beat it kid these are fine woman's what superhero are you oh my god commissioned by fellow superheroes I've completely forgot back away temptresses mosquito knows what you were trying to do what are you talking about kid raisins girls are mosquitoes kryptonite you got to get me out of here well okay then here's your pill ha ha I did not you tried to charm me I will not pay this bill do not delay to tip that's why they are going to let us go without a fight kid let's do this come on this is our chance huh those witches are my kryptonite and you must have saved me just in time I'm forever in your debt but hero what is your kryptonite dude you can't be a superhero without something that you're powerless against any particular Phobos any emotional hang-ups I mean come on there's got to be something look it's okay I'm on your team but kid you can tell me all right all right let me see your character see when you live with for a lifetime yeah old people can be so gross with their wrinkles and wisdom [Music] well hello new child I haven't seen you before but you come at a crucial time South Park is sliding into moral decline someone's stealing our cats their TP houses okay maybe it's not full on Armageddon yet but we do need a hero not to make the hard sell but do you see yourself as a good person well I can understand the confusion but there comes a time when we need to choose our path will you find Jesus and take the righteous path or maybe a walk the middle way let's not talk about the third alternative I'm hoping you're part of the solution not the problem take the first step my child by entering this meditative chamber which will allow you to confront your deepest fears face your fears new tile face your fears [Music] your dad your mom you afraid of the dark blue oh hey I am in your imagination just a friendly Catholic priest who would like to get to know you a little better yeah that's right I'm totally in your imagination too about to give you a shoulder rub never imagined you'd feel something like this let me adjust the lighting in here a bit so we can get some visuals with that god damn it I can't put a child in for two minutes without you bastards showing up we're definitely going to hell now get out of here that's not what the Queen spider says I'll go say ten mil Harry's well gosh I feel just awful about all that tell you what a rabbi friend gave me this macaroni picture in times of trouble and tribulation use it to call upon the prophet Moses good luck on your spiritual journey my child welcome to Freeman's tacos if there's anything I can interest you in well you just let me know Freeman's tacos is completely craft your own you know what crafting is don't you just open up that crafting menu and we can get started you can combine food items into whatever you like let's start with a staple the burrito a warm tortilla wrapped around well any old something here I'll give you what you need to get started this here shows how much food you need to fill up that tortilla now to just put it all together well done here now that you've got your first taste of crafting let's dig in you can combine food items into whatever you like and go ahead see what happens if you combine a burrito and an enchilada congratulations new kid with an enchilada and a burrito you've crafted and in churrito it's the first time anyone's ever done that and what the hell have a few more recipes they might just save your stupid ass on just one more thing they say that some parts are so powerful they can actually bend the fabric of time you be careful out there oh hi you're the new kid right oh great thanks for coming have a seat as your counselor you can talk to me about anything okay you understand you want to talk about okay see I'm highly trained in them sex issues UK and you don't have to be afraid okay new kids it's really simple when uh when you want to talk about your sex you simply you can start by simply saying you know I'm a boy or a girl or other exactly you got it now new kid this might get confusing but listen close okay if you were born a boy that's called being a cisgender boy okay or Sisson for short but well you you might have transitioned into being the board you see what I mean if you were not born a boy but now identifies one well that's called being transgendered okay or trans for short oh good so um do you identify as being cisgendered or transgendered I need to call your parents just take a second hello this is mr. Macky the school counselor yes I have your child here in my office and well he's just let me know that he's cisgender that means he identifies with the sex he was assigned at birth no you knew that okay well no no it's it's fun I just wanted to make sure that you knew he had other options you know you know you don't always have to go with the first hand you're dealt okay yeah no that's that's great that's great to know I think I can really maybe be of help from here on out on thank you very much okay bye-bye now okay well I'm really glad we had this talk as a cisgendered male myself I know how hard it can be out there for a boy who chooses to love someone of the opposite sex just remember love is love even if you're a guy who happens to like titties just be careful okay cuz there's there's a lot of people out there who don't accept you for what you are and you're gonna have to deal with them okay so uh but come see me anytime and you can come take a seat all right well how's it going out there okay good talk but listen I think you show some potential and I'm gonna upgrade you to somebody's sidekick or something congratulations I just maybe wanted to talk about your superhero character a little bit um your character sucks to be honest and I think I'm gonna let you do a class let's pick another ability to add okay I think those two will work nicely together but now we're gonna need to change your backstory too so let's go back again to that fateful night back when you were little you did lay awake that night but the reason you couldn't sleep was because you wanted to make the world a safer place you walk to the mirror you looked in the mirror and wondered if anyone would ever love you then you heard a noise but but it was a baby crying [Music] out of the hallway you saw you guys attacking a helpless baby on the floor and how'd you stop them from hurting that baby didn't you you knew you had the power to stop them and so you called upon your newly discovered power as a psychic superhero you focused your man and prepared for battle baby brains are better than brawn and so you beat them you swept the baby up in your arms to take him somewhere safe and then that's when the unthinkable happened you saw your dad your mom from then on you had to live with the fact because you were busy helping a baby couldn't stop your mom and being by that's heavy man I'm really sorry I know you probably want to know why Wow your dad your mom but those are answers you'll have to find for yourself what's happening what have they done now hurry we're coming King AB well new kid looks like you might be needing those newfound powers follow me no time to waste but huh this way but hope for the bus stop it's a quickie trap [Music] my keen sense is not fire freedom patents on the move confrontation is brewing yes this way keep going towards the bus stop man escort missions are the worst goddamnit so close head towards Main Street but hope and gird your loins for battle yes a little further no not that way Main Street the Freedom House are on Main Street and right we were supposed to be a duo remember tweek yeah I remember so when I walked out of Kuna fridge you should've walked out with me I like coded Fred because you had your own movie thank god you're here they're really going at it super Craig had to have movies before wonders week was introduced and they know that's otherwise y'all don't make no sense because you're a traitor tweek and now you're with a group of super traitors this was started by you by people who thought there should be preferential treatment to certain heroes we are the ones who walked out of the franchise mysterion Eric you must listen to me right now I'm speaking to you telepathic get out of my head Timmy your franchise is going nowhere face the truth Eric you guys are kind of douchebags he just caught his douchebags in mime and he did I you son of a my good friend deal with you done good job okay you're really getting the hang of this anyway what about Koo oh come on dude what happened Timmy got away hey hey completely waived in my mind you okay no seriously you guys you the out of my brains huh I grabbed him we fought for a little bit but it's his mental powers are too strong so we did all that for nothing not quite I got to me cell phone you did there's sure to be a lead on that let's get this back to base super quick and analyze it ah there you are but home alright let's get to work why is the new kid in my space I'm busy what have you found super Craig Jimmy's float has a bunch of notes in it something about a girl who has information about all the criminal activity in town what girl it just says spied the girl with the dick tattoo what girl in town has a diktat oh I don't know mosquito but the freedom pals must think she's the key to finding the missing cat if the freedom house find her before we do they'll get the hundred dollar reward we cannot let that happen we have to stop the freedom pals from having a sweet franchise at all costs then we have to find the girl with that tattoo tonight that's Hazzard right we all have to sneak out of our houses tonight and search the entire town what do you say new kid are you up for it yeah who let this guy join us anyway go easy on him you guys he's had a tough life when he was six years old his dad his mom what I'm sorry friend but it's time they learned you're a tragic backstory but who doesn't trust anyone because his dad his mom and he couldn't do anything to stop it that doesn't make any sense I know how could the person you trust do that to the only other person you love Carbon everyone's dad everyone's mom huh that's how it works stupid our dad's our mom's right so does that mean your dad your mom cam yeah yes my dad my mom that's why I'm here don't steal his backstory dude that's not cool you're so stupid every human alive on earth had a dad who their mom out now this is not what's important right now we need to find the lady with the dick tattoo yeah let's get home so we can prepare for evening miss it let's go friends he's such a idiot it's okay calm down I'm afraid you'll have to deal with that kind of bigger to your whole life but how when people don't understand they lash out I'm going to let you be a sidekick tonight to one of the friends go home and sneak out after your parents are asleep I'll fill you in later what are you doing even talking to the school counselor why'd you answer the phone have you lost your mind our child felt the need to go talk to the school counselor doesn't that bother you at all so you told him the truth no we didn't talk about that at all you dumb you'll ruin everything I don't have to listen to this from a stoned out pothead I need a drink sure drown your problems in Chardonnay you stupid skank oh hey whippersnapper have a fun day out playing no ha ha ha well I'm exhausted gonna get ready for bed dinner's on the table if you want it Punk but then straight to bed okay pothead alcoholic [Music] yes my old Nana gentlemen with the power of diabetes access control I used to be a simple elementary school student but then one day a freak science accident turned my diabetes is it super booming strikes all right sided we're supposed to go investigate a girl who might know the location of a Mickey guy follow me this see how you like this it's like fake a pancake okay well move all the way I need to go buy some more beer I'm sorry but captain diabetes does not let you drive I'm fine to drive okay yeah I hear they give it like cheese you're right no condition sir I'm fine okay look look look I'm fine okay give me my keys I'll return them tomorrow get my Jesus [Music] don't even if it struck like through human touch me the shirt cut it through that window I don't have my own secret base but if I didn't leave now please psychic this circuit will take us right into the heart of downtown South Harbor come on do not be offended is a doctor ready to strike down evil and bring peace listen you don't think people get ya because they're not starting Sounders see you I feel like cool makeup to make captain Javy you feel insecure about himself I think you see psychic but none time sock dark is quite a different place we've got to get into the peppery get home to the town square [Applause] burnham County best band in the world [Applause] [Applause] and I gotta be honest [Music] [Applause] here it is here's where we're going to find the girl there should be unsavory characters and the loss of boobie concerns come on let's go inside hey bit of kids 21 and over only I must speak with the ladies inside get out of here before throw you out [Music] Wow see ladies are really moving well don't freak out second we're super here we can handle it one of these ladies had information about the victims back but though there's only one thing we can do we have to pick someone and take him to the VIP room find someone and maybe their high schools in session [Music] [Music] kind of short I like up short you take the one with the speech impediment come on so have you gentlemen ever had dances from a girl with a penis tattoo hey we didn't come back here to talk baby yeah no talking until you finish grinding on our jugs okay you know what this means okay Jack can chat time oh man what kind of work are you guys you and if you ever dance with a girl here who has a penis tattoo why are you keep talking about a stripper with a penis tattoo yeah yeah classy that's her name her name is classy yeah classy with an eye and a little dick that hangs off the sea which the hell out of the a SS of course consetta too we have to make no cake what are you talking about this VIP experience ever yeah I did was get farted on you ain't going nowhere haha I am no ordinary skipper I am captain diabetes what nice like it can I simply use our powers of disguise Jorge extract information from you you will get away with this captain diabetes great work new key now let's get back to the main floor all right guys hope you're having a good night out there be sure to tip your waitresses and maybe buy a drink for the DJ next up on the main stage we've got a little bit of hot sauce coming up your way let's give it up or as movin down but definitely out long enough to cut out all right someone finally by the DJ drink that's really nice of you that went down really good the DJ sure does appreciate it oh oh man I think someone farted in my dream guys let's get on out here that's me with an eye and a little kick the the hell out of ya give it up hey hey what you calling me out fo I ain't on stage yet wait a minute you ain't the DJ are you okay oh [Music] [Music] nobody's allowed back here yeah get lost it's like you want to get to her you're gonna have to go through us bring it on oh you little bastards don't up don't get a boot a lookout ladies and gents here comes the queen of clippies the mistress of BDSM your dominatrix dream come true it's spontaneous honey you ain't ready for this through time I'm gonna crush you in my booty cheeks [Music] [Music] [Music] go on scram I ain't afraid to use this thing you're not you can get that Bessemer that's a nice I guess it's time for [Music] giving my guy back red can't move this shine yeah huh oh yeah hey it's too much but and you're not yet sayin that I need that no no okay I'm out of insulin you got to help me out Chris yeah but you never usually I'm going to get out there yeah yeah yeah I'm tired so good no no guys somebody please Hey [Music] this is CEM checking in how's it going for you guys everything cool over there okay you know what makes my fart super bad and crafted text minutes and not just any handcrafted tex-mex it's got to be something extra special you know what to do new kid [Music] I'm alive what happened who are you wait what happened I saw your guide some diabetes I remember seeing a bright life the hand of God reaching towards me then somebody farted in my face I was back I can almost still smell it Wow your first can actually move objects in time that's it and I said you know what your problem is you're an alcoholic you didn't I did I said I said you can't even go a day without scotch you lush I just don't get how these people can get high every night I'm you know I'm sorry but if you're sticking a cat's ass in your face you obviously aren't happy with your marriage yes I think a lot of these druggies do what they do because they're an unhappy relationships they probably get high where's the girl why don't you kids just go color on some placemats [Music] you didn't hear come in no we were busy syncing our watches no we were looking at menus because cart they made us ordered food buddy crime on an empty stomach is very dangerous human catch it's for your own good whatever she couldn't have left we would have seen her go out the front door clapping maybe she's in the back okay you guys check it out call us if you need help we'll be waiting for you with our breadsticks we found missing a hole we'll move him judy scrambles one of them negative none of them are fat enough then what about the girl we're still tracking her we have to find out what she knows get going hold on a second sounds like there could be trouble behind that door there's someone in chasing me and you let them hear you stupid who you calling a stupid do I look like your mama these kids are cops that ain't no cop that's captain diabetes when he was born his mom farted during labor and it gave him diabetes that he uses to fight crime people get diabetes if they aren't cops then we can shoot him along with this too y'all turning on me I knew I shouldn't win in a busy week our Tony Soprano look at so long captain diabetes let's see your diabetes Savior now wasted on red wine red wine drunk is the worst truck there is let's get the out here all right captain diabetes this is it all I know is there's a kingpin trying to get new high-grade drugs out on the street it's somebody trying to bring the Italians and Chinese crime families together as and not smell touch where is scrambles scrambles we need this reward money for our superhero franchise so Nana's Cisco he just some low-class start working two months ago he'd be talking all this about making money off the crime in the city cuz some bigshot white boy be running all the drugs not hookers and right okay uh-huh but not me I'm my own pimp you know what I'm saying it's like I got one investment in this world that's my and I ain't putting no mortgage on that to some high-paying talk about trying to make mo money off crime and classy I'm sorry but what what about the cat's own Aircast okay that's this little asian freak named yaki Baba some like that he going around paying all these little sixth graders to take people's cats that's up I think taking that and like taking money you know what I'm saying that's like criminal where do the cat go I can tell you what I am saying is until I know I'm safe you understand these ain't playing and I need to know you won't protect my ass Eric Cartman do you have any idea what time it is this is a school night mom not now we're seriously on to something you kids all get home now or I'm calling your parents sorry mrs. Cartman please don't tell my mom and who is this stripper woman these comb friends offer me protection well she's not staying here fine fat pass take her to your house okay and now the news program that starts your day off right good morning South Park good morning South Park a new vigilante took to the streets last night and is apparently single-handedly taken down the fam boni crime family here with more is a in a bikini Tom I'm standing outside the buca di faggocini where the vigilante declared war on crime in South Park security camera footage showed a young person farting in people's faces on their balls it was just terrifying the kid came in and just started farting on people it was out of nowhere man maybe someones finally standing up to what's wrong with this city this new kids a hero the kids a menace if you ask me how long before he or she kills an innocent person how long before daredevil becomes the Punisher huh 3 season 3 season police called to the scene found a treasure trove of illegal items that they claimed might tie the Italian restaurant to a larger crime syndicate this may be just the tip of the iceberg certainly chilling stuff and their reports the vigilante possibly had a sidekick there was thought to be a sidekick Tom but further investigation showed it was just some little twerp with diabetes thanks and of course the question on everyone's minds now who is the farting vigilante this is going to make us look bad you up it wasn't our fault this kid just came into the restaurant and started farting like there was no tomorrow all you Italians are supposed to do is move the product the Chinese and Russians do the rest everything has to be discreet and quiet or people are going to learn the truth and we put the product into people's drugs and alcohol in order to create more crime you just keep doing your part in getting the cheese out on the streets or maybe I'll start dealing directly with the Russians or the Chinese or the sixth-graders [Music] oh man what a great sleep yeah I haven't slept that well in weeks hmm so you guys do anything interesting last night oh no you know to usual just watch some TV and rent a bed yep nothing exciting an art but boring lives well then I guess I'll just be seeing you guys tomorrow you've got a big day ahead of you new kid get changed into your superhero costume and wait for a message from the king oh yes you again sub here oh don't be fighting in my faces a Fastpass one of your super homies is here oh hey new kid the told me he wants you to question the witness so go ahead hi Betty [Music] go ahead new kid ask her anything you want oh that's smart using the silent treatment can really make a witness aunty I look I know y'all need my help is but I ain't talking to you go get my medication your medication yeah I can't think straight without my medication you got to go pick up my prescription eye until you get my prescription I ain't tellin you little heroes well alright fine looks like you got more work to do new kid but before you go back out in the world I want to show you something that might pop your crime-fighting let's get up to my face alright new kid it's time to take your superpowers to the next level go ahead and stand in the DNA's simulator all right new kids just stand still and I'll talk you booted that's your doing you kids hope you have a bath of it now get out there and kick some booty thanks for coming it's over here in the backyard I'm big will you deal with him please look cousin Kyle if that mean kid who picked me up at Foot yeah oh no somebody stop him don't worry cousin Kyle I have developed these super sensors which will make it almost impossible for him to beat us up this time I have to stay out of this just please please pick a bowl away prepare to meet your doom evil bully kid okay okay that does it you guys asked for it and now human kite shall use his Hebrew faith to call upon the power of the wind the ocean let the strength of the wind make my kite oh jesus it came off outrageous Mike I just blew up into the tree cousin Kyle then give up don't worry super buddy cousin perhaps I no longer have my kite but I still have my super webbing and Shana these kids are picking on me who's picking on you okay guys Kyle get inside and call the police we have to get these kids arrested no no mom no police this is all my fault what look it's just I couldn't take my cousin copying everything I do the human kite is about saving people not about Judaism and now look at all the damage you've caused I should press charges against your friends and look my kites up in a tree I'm sorry please I'll do anything you weren't going to let your cousin play with you from now on is that clear oh boy Kyle and Gina says I get to play with you yes sometimes you can play with us you B now get your cousin's kind out of that tree you're not playing anymore until you do come on sugar now let's get you some bactine oh I hate that King because it gets on my fingers and I get eczema from the lidocaine you made a real mistake when you attacked us a thousand people just disliked the picture of me and ballet class on Instagram right now hello new kid don't worry I'm unfriending their instagrams exponentially they will be back for a while you got to be careful playing superhero you can make a lot of enemies some boys think girls don't make good superheroes what do you think you think girls are just as good at gamers as you boys you'd like to remain mysterious huh fine look you've got problems new kid whatever you did last night got a lot of people's attention bad people there's a crime boss who's been calling the shots here in South Park and now that person is planning to run for office whatever you did last night scared I'm tracking everyone's instagrams and Facebook's and will continue to cross-reference with tumblr while monitoring Twitter and LinkedIn if you need information just know you can rely on a call girl and now you've got a problem with me I'm not just gonna sit here and do nothing while you insult this man's ethnicity I wasn't insulting him excuse me did you or did you not say that this man seemed tired yes he's my friend I said Paulo you look tired microagressions persons of Hispanic backgrounds have been stereotyped as being sleepy and saying they look tired as a microaggression that will not stand but I am tired you you're the new kid right I'm the principal of your school my name is PC principal I was told you wanted to talk to me about some race issues okay come at me remember kid people use microaggressions every day I'm counting on you to make them pay for doing so ah new kid I see you've also come to assist in assuring class ease cooperation please after you hello we're picking up some medicine for a friend Oh is your friend looking for an energizing mental feeling or a more of a full body hi I don't know well I'll send over our expert budtender who can help you out thank you want to get hat oh hey Oh howdy got you into rehab yeah dude but now back in South Park clean and sober almost a year clean and sober no drugs at all and I tell you what I don't listen and you work here in a pot store cannabis erican yeah it's great now helping people cure their insomnia back pain migraines and stress battery did you know the ancient Chinese gave cannabis to their infants for TV I have an addictive personality so I'm cool without it now I got a kid with my ladies so better to stay on the straight and narrow you know you have a kid right it turns out I had one the whole time I was too hard to realize now I'm holding down a job and paying the rent but I'm also doing good helping people find the herbal remedies they need combat all the modern stressors of a job and taxis of traffic and whites breathing down my neck about the department but family we got a leak why can't you fix it okay we're here to pick up our friends medicine her name is Kathy Oh classy classy with a wire with the Clint hanging off they're coming around and licking the out of the seat no no no no it classy with a dick hanging off the eye that's the L out of the SS oh that classy sure I got her order she see she likes the banana crush for her back pain and some of the platinum oh dude wait what the book will put the chillax push in with the old a mellow bliss what the you wanna mix their mellow with its gooey nice no it is not nothing cool I'm trying to run a legitimate business here and my back hurts I can't sleep I got your appetite the shitty I'm so up we gotta buy all our product from sixth graders and who knows what the they're putting in it top it off I got a couple little dick liquors coming in the back door yeah this is for classy yeah throwing a couple hash nuggets and some granddaddy purple shatter on the house come by anytime for a cuckoo see here's the new kid now you got classes prescription damn well better hand my prescription well it's about time praise Jesus I need this babe if I don't get my medication I lose my mind you know what I'm saying much better all right listen the place y'all need to go is you story that's where they taking a cast you know what I'm saying that's it this is fit the new kid got the entail from classy not bad new kid what'd you find out it's the you story in the northeast of him classy says the cats are being taken day did you store it we unknown all right key classy safe I'll get back to you guys soon Roger that Fast Pass best pass let's head out oh great thanks for coming have a seat now I got some some feedback from the principal that our discussion about sex I mean about gender wasn't a precise enough and uh well you gave me some guidelines how to do a more thorough pass helping you identify your gender is the gender that you were assigned with at Birth the gender that you currently identify with okay great so as you know that means that your cisgendered okay great now the next thing I want to talk to you about with your gender is your sexuality now a lot of people think that gender and sexual are the same but know that by that's wrong it's by now how would you describe the sex of the kinds of people you find yourself sexually attracted to okay so that makes you straight or heterosexual well I'm really glad we had this talk okay just be careful okay cuz there's there's a lot of people out there who don't accept you for what you are and you're gonna have to deal with them okay so uh but come see me anytime what are you supposed to be a rodeo clown go on through so then the whop says to the if I wanted tits I'd have beat up the NIP and the black guy's hat what do we have here you're the one who made the news last night huh well the police can always use the help of concerned citizens I guess we can give our little junior detective a special kitty case to work on all right listen up there's somebody new to town shaking up the crime families this is a real bad dude a kingpin of crime it wants to control all the drugs in the city we've tracked him to this location here I need you to go in and neutralize him you lead point my boys will be there after if you take out the drug kingpin we'll give you this junior detective badge pretty neat huh now get out there you should have him in sight hey who are you what are you doing in my house engage engage holy you're the real deal superhero that's one less violent degenerate this town has to deal with please come by and help us again alright listen I have this ex friend who I hate now and he still has my goddamn laptop go get it from him but tell him if he doesn't let you have it I'm calling the cops his name is tweek you're probably fighting about as Paris coffeehouse get my laptop back for that prick hello welcome to tweet coffee what can I interest you in today well it sure was a pleasure [Music] how are those taste tests coming son keep sampling we need to come up with the perfect sunset blend we bought it for him receipt you think it's right for him to keep stress off he's the one who didn't stand up for me you tell him [Music] well at the tweak say about my laptop it Getty pay fine you know where strikes cages go get him but give them to that when you give that to tweek you make sure he knows that when you walk out on someone you don't get to make up the rules anymore when you give that to tweek you make here he knows that what you lost out on someone you don't get to make up the rules anymore hello welcome to tweet coffee what can I interest you in today hello new kid right listen I see you're really trying hard to get my son and his boyfriend back together and well I so appreciate it having a gay son is really good for the coffee business I think all they need is a little relationship counseling could you give this to Craig maybe together we can both help them out huh [Music] where is it counseling week wants me to go to counseling with him no way tell them there's no way I'll go to counseling a less you go - I need my support team hello welcome to tweet coffee what can I interest you in today are you me fine I'll do it I thought if you're there you seem to be able to get him to think rationally it sure is super of you to help these boys out hey a little crime stopper back for more I got something you might be interested in turns out that scum you up is just the low guy on the totem pole we now believe the real kingpin is over here on your phone that I'm holding right now thanks for letting me hold your phone to show you this he's hiding out in some big luxury mansion bought with blood money scumbag this is a whole nother level little crime fighter his house is like a fortress every window and door is wired to a state-of-the-art high-tech security system you'll need this this mobile hacking device will help you bypass the security system you're hunting hero hello this is Jeff with Wolf home security is everything all right hello yes sorry I live here and I can't remember my code to turn off the dangle arm oh that's okay sir do you have your security password you can tell me is everything all right can you hear me yes no problem I've got it right here hang on a second dang it let me look in our wrong drawer can you hold on just a minute I'm sorry no problem sir can you hold on just a minute is everything all right did you maybe write the password down anywhere sir like a notepad or something yes yes must be something let's see let me check in this drawer top looks like they need to find my glasses here hold on can you hold on just a minute [Music] maybe it's my middle name could you try my middle name okay so I tell you what let's just look up your account profile and get a new password for you if you can just hang on the line here don't be fooled by his attempts at upper middle class Sensibility oldest trick in the book can't afford this one here oh he's got a temper on him choose your moment now hey who the hell are you you can't just break in here brilliant work hero you're really getting into the program you understand exactly what we're doing and you're doing it right along with us meet me back at the station I've got something for you good work on clearing that kingpin little crime stopper I wish I had a hundred more like you on the force no no we can't do the super Craig movie before the human kite Netflix series guys that doesn't make any sense well what about introducing super Craig in the second and friends movie that'd be pretty DC comics of us I wouldn't recommend it ah but lord please have a seat sorry guys can I have a moment with but lord please Sharon think come on Fast Pass right behind you mosquito but lord I just wanted to let you know that we've decided to let you have your own Netflix series right after the Fastpass Fox miniseries and the third and friends united movie congratulations okay well get out there and finish your girls just wanted to tell you the exciting news what do you want new kid I already let you do a class there's nothing left to talk about oh no no no no you are not going to have three classes new kid new kid no do not give me those sad puppy eyes nobody gets to be three classes you think that just because you have to live through your dad your mom you should get all the sympathy in the world don't you I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring that it alright alright fine if you were going to add another class what would it be okay but if you're gonna be triple class and we have to change your backstory it is pretty dumb let's go back in time again back to when you were just a child you couldn't sleep that night but it was because you saw strange lights in the sky you walk to the mirror and in the mirror you saw a kid who maybe wasn't from this world and that's when you heard it strange alien sounds from the hallway you walked out and saw two intruders and an alien in your house kind of stopped them so you called upon your new powers the gadgets here here oh you knew you could answer these intruders with whatever inventions you had in store severely damaged it was time to call your final and most powerful inventions me your sad the airborne Annihilator you kids in your damn toys the alien took you by the hand and led you to a dark room and that's when you saw that your dad had just your mom whoa boy that is pretty tragic new kid I'm so sorry where the aliens helping you by showing you who your mom or were they trying to make you full of Rage you might never know all right get back out there but Lord you still have a lot of things to do you're sure one of the freedom pals wants to meet with us yeah his text said it was very urgent yeah but why would the freedom pals want to talk to us unless this is some kind of trap relax friends I didn't come to fight hello toolshed long time no see toolshed is a catchy tear class visionary archetype and a trader just listen to me I understand that the new kids help take my dad's keys last night new kid I don't know why you were looking out for my dad but I owe you one that's all I came to say you might be in the wrong franchise but if you ever need help I'll return the favor huh you think the new kid cares about you you belong to a loser zero income franchise that's run by a douchebag in a wheelchair at least he's not a fat little phone stealer oh not him again you call us losers when the only way you can get a lead is to steal it where is dr. Timothy's phone sorry freedom that employees okay you guys need to stop investigating the Chamber of Commerce and leave it to the professional super heroes oh yeah you guys are the professional super heroes it just so happens mysterion that we already have a connection with Netflix no you don't yes we do we're just about to get the human kite and Netflix series off the ground so no Jimmy no no stop it stop stop stop it Timmy he's trying to rape my mind they don't have a connection Netflix Freedom House just raped my mind you guys let's get these pedophiles dude and friends at symbol Freedom House unite Civil War - go - oh yeah oh yeah that is twice we kicked your asses you guys are nothing without the new kid and you know it new kid my offer stands I still owe you one and if you ever want to be part of a real franchise just call me PM right you got your TV comics we're Marvel a so you guys have Jack Snyder direct your movies how did you let all those microaggressions go unpunished I guess because you don't understand your own race and ethnicity you don't really believe in yourself all right that's what can't be Native American with that ethnicity let's determine exactly what you are Asian japanese race and ethnicity are very different things nice it's your many splendored journey you see that wasn't hard was it now that you know how to define yourself you can go back to making people pay for not identifying you and others correctly I'm glad I know a little more about you kid now get out there kick some ass gosh darn it I don't think that vigilante setting a good example for the young folks there you are Jesus took you long enough have a seat but Lord all right everyone when Lord interrogated class II and found out our next lead is that the you store in here in town we need to infiltrate it tonight that can't be done why not mosquito because the U store entrance is all lava the whole thing is lava there has to be a way to get past it there is toolshed toolshed what's that dunkey have to do with anything toolshed has a device that clears lava remember it's one of his super powers hey and toolshed said that he owes the new kid a favor well looks like you're gonna come in handy again my lord super quick right in and I'm gonna see now the tool ship tell the new kid is ready to have his favor returned everyone else go home and get in bed we meet at the u story tonight - man everybody friends are on the case go on home but lord if all goes according to plan toolshed we'll meet up with you later just be careful toolshed is a two-faced backstabbing butt sniffer why would you tell the school principal what race we are I didn't tell him our child did but you confirmed it when the principal called you how long before they find out everything our little boy is hurting don't you get it he's asking questions about his race and sexual orientation because he's confused confusion was the point the more our child learns about the truth the more dangerous it becomes you stupid Hey look who's here then Out playing little squirt your dinner is on the table pumpkin then straight to bed you have school tomorrow tomorrow don't even think whatever is in these things are making you crazy crazy like telling the world who our child is that we took so long to hide oh are you not gonna drink hey kiddo listen I know we never talked about it but your mother and I are very proud Japanese ninite Punk [Music] night falls upon the town like a fat slimy turd the stink of greed corruption and crime rises from the gutters and fills the streets only one thing to deal with fat turd but freeing bass so we meet again new kid I have to put our petty differences aside there's something happening to this city and it needs tools shed well follow me to Professor Casas lair you'll probably want to know about my superhero back story you see when I was just a child my father was in the garage working on a project there was a huge storm and lightning blew my father off his workbench I ran to help him but at that moment another blast somehow fused his power tools onto my body I became a superhero while my father was left mentally impaired Randy get in here right now and stop keying my car ok but this is different my father's acting even stupider than ever before perhaps toolshed wants to help his father because he feels he could have saved him all those years ago [Music] what is your backstory did something happen with your parents - that's okay if you don't talk about it it must be very painful this is the home of mysterion he has a shortcut to the north of town in this area you might know what is the intense hair and smile did you know human hearing works as a fertilizer for marijuana cultivation smells like somebody cultivated on that couch now I can show you toolshed smells mighty tool the sandblaster with the force it generates it can clear nearly any obstacle turn it on and I'll show you my power this is mysterion secret tunnel [Music] hello these guys are blocking our path there's got to be a way to get through them yeah friends I save up well well the trader actually showed up hey whoa whoa nah I said I'd help the new kid not you losers yeah well the new kid is a friend and friends work together douche come on we need to get inside this fence yeah to a shed that's what the new kid wants fine as long as there's a power generator nearby I can use my dad's sand blaster to clear almost any obstacle wow that is good let's get one thing straight I don't trust you you make one move out of line and I'll shred you I'm only here for the new kid fat-ass after tonight were sworn enemies again all right classy said the cats all go to one of these storage facilities everyone fan out you're getting diggity there get it get it get it be I'll be out and I thought being a kite meant you'd be lighter that is a kite stereotype would you find [Music] [Music] what 20,000 just to keep people from snooping around so you know what I'm gonna do with all the rest go to Paris to get a pee toilet has knitted French chicks super Craig [Music] minions no minions you gotta kill him not be Nick goddamnit alright let's just fight over you boy get out of here you you didn't really think I wouldn't have a back-up plan did you do you not comprehend how many millions $20,000 came back butters will you just go home we're trying to find a missing cat I don't think so rings butters actually if somebody gave you a bunch of money buys all that money belongs to our franchise all of our Luc more cash means is that the last of them god only knows you guys take the alley over there super Craig and I are hitting the rooftops why would chaos like to wrap an entire truck in a little bit of foil that's not the problem there's a limit of oil really what you guys are concerned with who the is that you were right about the Italian restaurant new kid the owner is a part of a new crime syndicate who does is that I have no idea well she's not in the Union excuse me are you on Instagram there's someone new in town who's bringing all the crime families together okay cool thank you bad you mean like a kingpin you guys do not say anything we're not playing with her check out storage facility 50 60 new kid and here take this call me if you need me I think you're gonna need all the help you can get so I guess now any thinks they can be a superhero come on let's just find scrambles and be done you guys eat Rambo's here general disarray careful he's a ginge view now what professor chaos has planned for this city kid you and butters are taking this way too far yeah it's time to teach you a lesson that won't be as easy as you think [Music] I think that's the last of them don't count on it we should make it wait wait super quick oh my god super Craig super Craig just potage there's no air compressor here no way I can remove that lava hang on super Craig we're gonna find something to plug to a said Sam blaster engine you and I both know I've already dad no super Craig we're gonna find a way to save you do something Jewish yet there's nothing here my sandbox our needs compressed air to work get the one from the entrance the gate slammed and locked shut remember it's okay we all do when we signed on to be friends that it might end like this stay calm super Craig we're gonna get you home sorry but it looks like this was a one-way trip no see the kicker I'm starting to remember things like that make that regret people I wish I'd been tiger to nobody what are you doing are you crazy do you know what kind of firepower someone would need to make that work right that's an but what happened the new kids shut the tube up assassin cleared away all the novel oh you guys don't get cast I've gotta try and stabilize super Craig wow wow it's cute what the was that you it's an intra cardiac injection super Craig I had to stabilize you are you serious right now you're gonna kill me who the did you get that Cartman online super Craig just stay still you suffered a lot you guys go ahead I'm gonna just try and stabilize him hey that was really cool back there now we can clear love and whenever we want we make a great team but lord [Music] hey what the who is that oh my god that's the vigilante that's right the king and some little fat kid to this cat where is it that's some real high-grade there cat like that would go to the boss man himself you idiot you don't talk about him now we got to kill these shits alright alright look it ain't us okay the big man has all the crime families working together the Italians the Russians the sixth-graders they all work for him we just put the cat urine in the drugs and alcohol who is the big man he don't even do it for the money man it's like it's like he wants more crime in the streets wow that sounds okay you're even no spooky man we got to do this if they tell us don't you get it you've come far come friends but now you're trapped in my inner sanctum let's go your reign of order ends here and friends yeah nobody launchers we have to find a way through to that ladder butthole there's nothing you can do to stop the flow of my Master's hatred dude the he's gonna declare the entire town lava well you actually made it to the end to piece together my [Music] it's on trabajo oh bro alright chaos talk who gave you the money to do all this my god I think he's dead dude he's not dead fellas I think we better get him back to base all right come on let's take him to the holding cell the holding shell vanish I should get home or I'm gonna be grounded you should have thought of that before you tried to live in a town Cass hey dude it was great working with you again man it was like old times yeah well I told you this was a one-shot deal I only helped out because I owe the new kid a favor come on shed come back to the key can't do that kite freedom pals is gonna make way more money with their franchise you're wrong we're gonna make like a billion dollars we're gonna make like a billion dollars but can't think about it why would someone pay butters to cause more chaos who could it be maybe it's that Tommy Nelson kid he's always been kind of a dick what if the person paying butters wasn't a kid is that it chaos were you paid by the toast I'm telling you I don't know his name fellas nobody judge he's not on the crime families hotel he's everywhere he's nameless faceless he can change his appearance like the wind changes direction wait what did you say he says there's a revolution coming and the darkness of our own hearts will bring about our undoing oh my god babe he is that which liveries and he knows the true weakness of tolerance and his coming will bring about a tide of chaos not nothing we've never seen you mention oh my god could it be no it's impossible what's impossible there's only one person I know of who can disguise himself so easily and it's the same person who might have a motive for tearing South Park apart who Mitch Conner powder oh no no no no no no no who's Nick Turner its carbons dumbass hand puppet you know damn well that Connor was just using my hand to suit his needs at first he disguised himself as Jennifer Lopez who sells tacos and burritos when his cover was blown he was arrested by the police but escaped but why would he want to take down South Park and where would he get all his money shut up it's not men stupid Connor Javier no no Kyle is right you guys it couldn't be Mitch Connor Connor died in an oil rig explosion in northern Alaska this I'm going to bed yes yes good idea give me cod everyone get back to your homes it's getting late let's all reconvene tomorrow after and now the news program that starts your day off right good morning South Park the South Park vigilante struck again last night this time at a meth lab in the downtown new storage facility here with more is a in a fedora Tom six people were arrested last night after the vigilante exposed a huge meth lab in the storage facility behind me eyewitnesses have come forward with shocking reports that the vigilante sports were so awful they seemed to actually rip the fabric of time you ain't never heard a fart like this man it was like one minute he farted on my dick and the next thing my dick was like 20 seconds in the past finally someone is standing up to all the crime in this city if you ask me these people here all deserve to be farted on he's a menace if you ask me how long before this vigilante gets radical and blows up a school or a church huh how long before Captain America becomes captain ideology huh the third Captain America movie how long was that about six years about six years dozens of protesters gathered outside the police station today as a warrant was issued for the vigilantes arrest the city will not be pink / math Crusaders who sneak around and fart on people at night we urge all citizens to arm themselves and fight against this kind of rectal oppression yeah it's me nobody knows anything about this kid not what race he is not even if it's a boy or a girl what do we do sir just keep getting the product into people's drugs and alcohol I'll handle the vigilante this deal is getting out of control you said you could get the mayor out of office you wanted to be left alone commissioner to do what you love doing I've made that happen to stay calm and soon everyone will have exactly what they read [Music] you are the new kid right my name is Wendy nice to have you at our school that little problem call girl told you about it's a lot worse the Chamber of Commerce wants to get rid of the vigilante no matter what it takes you know the bathrooms in the park call girl wants you to meet her there right now friends these are dark times we now know for a fact that scrambles the missing cat is part of a larger conspiracy we also know that the freedom pals have more information about this conspiracy than we do FAC maybe we should just face it guys maybe freedom pals have a better super franchise that we do hey that's no way to talk mosquito the only reason that freedom pals are ahead of us right now is because they're buck cheaters who sold out yeah but freedom pals have dr. Kinison he can read people's knives and bend reality yeah cuz he just said that when we made up our superpowers he was like well I have every power to dude it everything do you think that's fair it's time for us to be a dirty ass em we have to know at the freedom house know how we ever gonna get the help and freedom panel we sent a spy someone in our group who pretends to want to switch sides and join freedom somebody who they don't know very well the new kid joins Freedom House then ask for assistance investigating the community see hope the new cut is good at bullshitting you'll never get past the security grace they shake it every day I can get the new kid and said I've got hacking abilities remember cuz I'm the gadget to your class with the tinkling ability no dyes chaos you're just saying that to get out of jail you better let him go the new kid will need him alright fine get the new kid inside freedom pal space okay if he tries anything funny kill him alright you ready to go to see Freedom House with me come on I gotta get my minions first you're about to enter the chamber chaos new kid there's no way to UM where they cleaned up for a while so watch where you're stepping no no that's not it no no oh here we go [Music] where have you been mister oh hey Dad I better but I guess I just been hanging out with my new friend I didn't come home last night butters your mom and I were worried sick we could barely enjoy the movie we were watching I'm sorry dad I just when you fainted did you really mean sorry's not gonna cut it mister and you what's your name you get it you don't escape I asked you a question who are you please please don't do this that does it butters you are grounded and so is your smartass little friend what are you doing new kid do you need to go to the bathroom I don't know [Music] [Music] [Music] but but that's impossible I grounded you how could you be here right now if it wasn't me daddy with a new kid you have some kind of ability to unground people whoever you touch becomes ungrounded is that it your evil magic is not welcome here darling [Music] superhero beige holy Oh take out a clean room and computers in legend look this piece of crap out of code base our new kid ji can play here every day what are you doing here oh hey hey mysterion well we were just hoping to speak with dr. Timothy why haha the new kid wants to switch franchises and I told him I helped a new kid thought you might end up here they're here to spy on what Timothy is working on I see we rip them to shreds calm down everyone let us hear what they have to say okay it's him this is a fairly shocking change apart for you professor you really wish to help the new kid switch franchises well yeah yeah you know we just thought that you you know your franchise seems lab we'll open it progressive but you know we just thought he should switch because Cunha France pen isn't going anywhere oh god see you can't came to me and said Conan friends excited help them out you'll get anything you're gonna boil on his helmet seems to be blocking my abilities don't trust them doc they can't see what you've been working on back there what if the new kid really wants to switch where you can see if the new kids intentions up here oh we're sending tough away on a very important mission today you can help him with that mission I don't need backup especially not a new easy tough remember the freedom pals motto yeah retribution but with inclusion I'll send you the details on the mission when you get there we can begin in the meantime I must get back to my work [Music] shit's going south real fast in this town [Music] [Music] not so fast prove that you really want to be here first looking for answers mr. Connor sends his regards he wanted to come himself but he's a very busy man he mentioned some horrible tragedy happened to your mother funny how a few moments in our lives can completely change who we are huh and now you're gonna be taken out by assassins known as the city ninja service you know what to do it and when you're done hey well you forgot to pay me after it's done no no no you have services I'll be shitty ninja service you'll pay your badge that's a that's on the website you don't sound Japanese you sure you're really ninjas look at my eyes come on give me a check made out to his shitty major service just get it over with shitty ninja I'm afraid we got paid to assassinate you today so uh we have to do that of course on rice you want to pay us not to $5,000 okay nice try you tricky in business but you don't have enough money for bribes so we still have to murder you sorry so hard to find a good ninja these days all right kid this is a very important mission are you sure you're up to it come on let's go freedom pal we're here for the community service Oh wonderful everyone some of the local children are here to sing for us right I love to play my triangle my triangle goes when I am sad I love to hear my triangle go it cheers me up and it makes me smile you suck we're sorry folks this kid's new I have to play my triangle my triangle does I love to play my mandolin my mandolin goes when I am sad I love to hear my mandolin go it cheers me up and makes me smile get off the stage huh to play my mandolin my mandolin goes [Music] I love to play Mike you go horn my flugelhorn goes I love to play my bugle horn my flugelhorn goes when I am that I love to hear my bugle horn go disgusting and it makes me smile the kid is the Fernand vigilante from the news that's the kid going around taking out all the drugs in town vigilante wants to take my brother sent word doc this is mysterion we had some trouble but the mission is complete nice work everyone nuke it congratulations you're officially a member of freedom palace you can join us tonight on our mission to the police station we've ascertained that police are being paid off by whoever's running crime in the city that's right we believe we'll find the answers to what's going on there welcome to the team friend we'll see you tonight don't tell anyone we're going to the police station we know now with the Freedom House no all friends fit into their great work but knowing what again with the puffy eyes are you kidding me right now no new kid absolutely not you cannot have another class look I'm sorry about what happened to your mother I know that you want closure but oh no I guess I don't know how if you you're right you're right maybe you should have just one more class you're laying in bed and you heard your mom scream walk out in the hallway yeah yeah whatever anyway you read your parents door and before anything bad could happen you ran inside to protect your mouth but you were too late your dad totally oh it must be tearing you apart inside how people can do that to other people I just I'm so sorry anyway we've got work to do tonight I see you at the police station there's nothing more to talk about I'll be in touch tonight after your parents think you're sleeping you stupid cow have another glass of chardonnay why don't you I have to drink to deal with you that marijuana is changing you somehow at least marijuana is natural not like grapes you're hot maybe so but I'm not telling everyone our child secret oh he paranoid some more in your room another drink tell me I'll be paranoid some are in your house another drink Kelly oh hey kiddo daddy's gonna go upstairs to his room mommy's gonna go get a drink [Music] sweetie you forgot to eat your dinner mommy put it down on the table come on honey daddy your supper did you put more of that stuff in our child's food shut your mouth we know that medicine doesn't have side effects you drunken dare you make our child not having anyone choose sides go on down and eat your supper champ you can get dressed and meet me out front hurry the night awaits [Music] it's about time you know how hard it is to look mysterious when you're just standing around in some kids front yard it's pretty hard I'm glad you're with us new kid it's been tough being the only one on the team with real superpowers while all the other kids are playing and working on their franchise plans I'm stuck defending the city against evil with barely any time to work on my pitch for a mysterion spin-off movie sometimes it feels like a curse having these powers you know how it is because you're like me I'm sure the power of your ass weighs heavy on you [Applause] let's just get to the police station and find the evidence we need no ma'am this is not normal you're really mysterious new kid and coming from mysterion that's really high praise look there they are alright freedom pals here's the plan once we get inside the police station toolshed at the new kid we'll set up a diversion in done wait a minute what the yeah come on guys we've got to get inside the police station what are you doing here we're here to investigate a hot lead regarding these South Park Police we're doing oh no no no this is our superhero mission freedom pass you guys do you want before there's a fight fellas fellas have we all forgotten there's a little girl in trouble in there fast passes rat I suppose that just this once we should put our petty differences aside and work together alright mysterion what's the plan I think some of us should cause a diversion make the cops head towards it so the rest of us can sneak in without the cops noticing good idea turn friends we'll go up the fire escape and cause the diversion so freedom pals can sneak in the front this is all pretty coincidental did you guys just steal our lead again innocent people are being arrested to a shed that's all that matters to us should be all that matters to you okay come friends at the 5k come on guys stand by we gotta wait for the diversion come take a look at this oh man that's strong you know does this coke seem a little off to you no no this is sweet you guys want to call some hookers what the is that come on let's check it out bring the coke alright come on my lord the coast is clear Wow I didn't see that coming that's enough just stand down kid look I know why you're here you're fed up because you think all cops do is harass black people I know that to a young kid it can seem like cops are racist and bigoted but you can't believe what the media tells you cops are just people like you your friends your family people who work hard oh damn I love whiskey get your ass upstairs this isn't going to get any easier but those cops need to pay okay okay I know this looks bad you really think cops just go around arresting black people for no reason what purpose could that possibly serve it's reverse discrimination that's what it is if we were all black cops and our jails were filled with white people nobody would say a word so I guess you've learned that the real bigots here are you huh kids guess you can all go home no back we're innocent so breaking out of jail isn't a crime right I'm not sticking around to find out I smelled a class-action lawsuit the Supreme Court here we come token what did I tell you about playing too rough mom I was defending justice I don't care what you were defending you could have gotten hurt I took more cake here he's impervious to pain is he impervious to getting his butt spanked no that's right hey can I was just messing around about the government they're not so bad they're actually pretty good guys to that door over there [Music] [Music] nice I mean nice you know what a cop is new kid a cop is a slave a robot was told not to think for himself it's the politicians who are the real bigots that mayor has been sitting in her office telling us we have to change our ways the only way to have it removed was to raise crime in the streets and now cops are finally able to do things the old way again don't you see this is better for everyone holy that scramble freedom fells we've got the police sheet top floor what can I say you kids have me by the boughs almost by the balls you know not every prisoner we have here is black we actually do have one white guy this is a trap I'm sorry kids but you left me no choice you still looking good eating the subway sandy cheese hey kids you want some candy oh it's Jared you'll excuse me if I don't want to watch this [Music] what are the police doing with the people they arrested how should I know I'm just a sandwich guy new kid partners face no please please I'm sorry I'll tell you anything what is the police chief hiding that's there's more cells down below cops take that elevator prisoners go down there but they don't come back what's the code come on how should I know huh yeah yeah I see them type it in 1 4 7 7 please I'm sorry it's just that I like being with children you know because because I never had a childhood of my own yeah that's it I like kids cuz I never had a childhood it's your decision new kid part of being a superhero is deciding what to do in moments like these [Music] Wow that was hardcore all right well that was pretty uncomfortable I know being a vector for disease is kind of my thing but I I feel kind of dirty should we do anything with the body that's something you don't see every day afford execution this is a one-time shot after tonight we are enemies again our petty little differences aren't what matter right now mysterion black lives matter yeah dick you're a dick mosquito huh what was that hello hello someone there no I guess no one's there where else they would have said something all right then it's just me and you kitty no one's gonna find us in here come on give me that good stuff stop it Oh bananas the cat got away can't see a thing in here sounds like the cat's getting into the toxic chemicals darn it that's not good I hope those weren't the toxic chemicals I was just talking about that broke on the flow just now oh no I think they were drat those chemicals mixed together on the floor it'll turn into a gas that will kill me in seconds blast it there's the gas yes it's definitely killing me now oh well thank God the exhaust fans sucking out the toxic gas I'm not gonna die now where's that blasted cat no no I think the cat just jumped into the exhaust fan and jammed it gas is filling up the room it's killing me again dying again yeah the emergency door closed I'm trapped in here yeah that's it the door's locked I'm stuck in here somebody help me the caster's hillingham really died but this time just myself wait I think I feel the light which [Music] yeah yeah shop new garage black code of the woods blessed be us your faithful servants the Destroyers of light yeah yeah shop Roth black goat of 1,000 morbid young drawdown the moon and distinguish the Sun all right oh I see I guess because cops feed african-americans to an elder god they're racist shub-niggurath is an outer god kids who must be a piece and whose coming was foretold by the great HP Lovecraft but I supposed HP Lovecraft was a racist - oh was he really like like how races completely let's end it all right you kids wanna battle let's do this don't forget the mission we have to get you know who out of here okay Chuck another one in [Music] no the old mother can't stand white meat I oppose the ole mother demands black flesh they say Carm is a real in this town you're welcome who are you oh my god you guys we've got a hundred bucks to get our franchise off the ground wait what's going on where are you taking that cat oh yeah sorry freedom house there's a certain intel we have that we can't share with you you know that's bad that's because we've been tricked ah the new kid played us Freedom House wanting to join our side as a ruse what yeah the new kid kind of totally you guys over sorry they followed our lead to the police station and now intend to get a hundred dollar reward for that missing cat well all's fair in love and war freedom I love me cousin Freda pretty you we're the ones that stopped the police chief's evil plan we deserve that hundred dollar reward oh yeah just try to take it from us we will civil war three going down that's it you kid we're gonna rip you apart no mysterion we won't fight the new tenants anyway all right new kid time to dad let's get this little well let's what happened how my lip get busted where the did classy go dr. Timothy you animal he was trying to help us dude mysterion is pissed at you new kid you guys started this war not us you don't understand dr. Timothy was working on a way to save all of us freedom pals and friends what easy doc you've taken a lot of hits wow this is your guy face this is big this looks like so much fun yeah he's cool air eyes not closed up Jim but that is scared dr. Timothy was never your enemy he was trying to help us all but how this oh my god they figured it out it was dr. Timothy's passion he worked tirelessly on it a franchise plan that involved everyone each hero got their own movie and TV series every hero mathematically equal to the other so while we were out trying to stick it to you guys Timmy was actually trying to include us yeah and then this kid nearly killed him we're sorry the new kid is an that isn't our fault yeah we were just using you guys there's a $100 reward for this cat you wanted her to yourselves yeah but not anymore if we proved anything tonight it's that we are the best when we are all together it's too late for that we all started as one team we all wanted to be superheroes for the same reason to sell our franchise and make millions of dollars let's be one team again I agree come on guys no more Civil War let's give the reward money for this cat and use it together for one franchise yeah let's do it all right but we're calling it freedom house freedom pals and so like Jimmy is sort of the leader of freedom path he's like that he's like the one in charge yes well I think it's awesome honestly freedom houses were a better name in and friends freedom freedom pass I'm super cool with this then itself tomorrow we get the reward money for scrambles and we use it to kickstart Timmy's franchise plan together Freedom House retribution inclusion but yeah you guys let's do this [Music] [Music] [Music] and now the news program that starts your day off right good morning South Park an attack on the SP PD police station last night has left citizens in shock and disbelief with prisoners now on the loose and policemen in the hospital one member of the chamber of commerce has had enough and is announcing his bid for mayor the citizens have stopped at deserve to be updated safe from vigilantes who go around voting on people dead together we can free ourselves from the anal terrorism that has been forced upon us my name is Mitch Conner and I endorse this message [Applause] [Music] [Music] it's destroyed it's all gone man Timmy's franchise plan all that work it's barely even readable you must have come in the night got past the security grid who the hell would do this I'll bet it was the sixth graders only they would stoop to this level no this was someone who wanted to hurt us personally yes sirree incoming video message play the message fullscreen hey isn't that the new kids parents this is a message to and friends oh god damn it looks like I had something that the new kid once that's good because the new kid had something good I want Connor that son of a care to make a trade new kid let's make a deal hey listen you're gonna be a big trouble and then do exactly as I say new kid or you will never see your parents again and hurry or else they'll be more this where are they fat-ass where is who human catch the new kids parents where are they how should I know because that's you you took the new kids parents because you hate that we merged with Freedom House that's not true I want this mega franchise more than anybody tell him dad you have five seconds Cartman I'm on your side you believe me don't you [Music] let me tell you where'd you get to the location you're gonna see a guy in a red shirt go talk to him hello welcome to tweet coffee what can I interest you in today oh whoa isn't that the vigilante I don't know if you're a hero or a menace man this coffee really has me buzzed hello that's for you that's real good new kid but now I'm gonna make things a little harder on you instead of telling you where to go I'm giving you a riddle you ready a place where death comes in all shapes and sizes go into this door to find what your prize is dear I'm so wasted on this stuff you think you can outsmart a shitty me just don't think you can run from a shitty ninja you see shitty ninja always have a back-up plan you have made many enemies in this town vigilante and now you have to face us six prettier girls assemble they took our jobs [Music] haha everybody mad at you prepare to die so you stopped mad bitter huh you're not as dumb as a fat you see the guy standing over there take a selfie with him do it now your mom is gonna suffer crime Fighting's not a game for Jelani you're gonna get somebody killed [Music] you're getting close new kid but to find me you're gonna have to stop one more riddle and the place where seats hang from chains part desert part jungle where happiness reign how did you solve my riddle guys are so smart wow I'm so jelly all right you see that woman there go talk to her he he told me if I didn't do what he said he'd do horrible things to my patio get a selfie with her I'm sorry he said he would poop on my patio Oh was I supposed to do we just did our patio I had to do it that should just about do it sorry kid I have what I need now see you around [Music] where's everyone else doesn't matter there's no time let's get this fat turf while we can all right one two three [Music] where where where if it isn't the freedom paths and their newest recruit what have you done with the new kids parents badass nothing yet but when I'm finished with you I can't say they'll be exactly safe this has gone far enough we end it now the only thing about the end is you mysterion we aren't gonna fight you Cartman no put your stupid hand down and stop playing game we have to stop him you guys he's got all the new kids followers now even with their help you can't stop me King we'll see about that all right Cartman you want us to kill Mitch Conner we kill him where are they where are the new kids parents you never named Potter no he's gone come on we're taking this fat piece of back to base what fat piece of having cash the only way we're going to get Carmen to talk is to torture him yeah sometimes torture is the only answer you're gonna torture me for what everyone get back to Frieda pal space you have to make this talk what are you talking about guys it's me the keys what is wrong with you guys I'm not your enemy you're going to talk Cartman new kid you're going to have to make Cartman talk what what are you gonna do with that you guys are wasting your time I'm the king torture doesn't work against me remember so so what I just have to watch you eat is that it I'm not not afraid oh this is sweet ya see it doesn't even faze me is that a cuttlefish but I prefer salmon myself now a fact that not even a little bit I can scoville those Bartowski broccoli I'm not afraid of rock for here gets a bad rap if you ask me around and you're not gonna eat that chili dog are you that's not chili on top now that pretty grows you get what cats I just remembered cata I think the fights on every day he said something about making cats more powerful than yes I said he must he must want to genetically alter the cat's genetics laugh doctor mephesto yes that must be a chest all right the new kids here come on you kids can I help you sign up for the tour ah yes the night tour correct oh yeah we're a little early well I'm afraid for safety purposes the tours are only offered from 10:00 p.m. to midnight what just to be extra spooky it'll be worth the wait my friends see you tonight well now what do we do we'll just have to race we can't afford to let anyone else go in or out of this case I agree we're just gonna have to wait here till nighttime okay how far away is that about six hours all right sweet six hours and we're good to go oh god okay how long now right around six hours Gil Jesus you know kid you still have yet to tap the full potential of your time-bending house something that could enhance your ability could possibly make time pass more quickly be quick you see that AC fan over there right there behind you over by the gate on the left side can't miss it if you fart into that fare the oscillation of the gas will filter it through the expansion valve mixing it with the pressurized refrigerant inside the condenser course don't question if that makes any sense kid just come on I'll fire it up for you right now holy dude what the hell just happened oh dude it smells like rotten meat out here well it looks like it's nighttime everyone regroup hi there gonna tour oh yes come in [Music] now some young people interested in genetic engineering huh wonderful please come in oh hello oh there's more okay my my there's a lot of you well I'm so pleased that you children are interested in genetic engineering genetic science began as a simple question can a monkey be made to have four asses instead of one the answer was yes and now we've been able to give more asses to pigs horses everything you can imagine yes little boy out of that help oh you're one of the cynics huh we'll meet me over here for the tour and I'll show you how come on don't be shy we don't want to miss the forest gorillas feeding please have a seat you ever play that video game half-life okay here we go [Music] here you can see our greenhouse genetic engineering is helpful to grow larger tomatoes onions cucumbers fruits and vegetables with more asses means more nutrition for people all around the planet what good does that do oh you bible-thumpers are all alike don't play God you'll pay for it let's continue up to the second level shall we another benefit of genetic science of course is combining animals like these donkey Apes bunny fish squirrel donkeys and more once we put more asses on these we will truly be benefiting science will you please explain how that benefits science at all what's your name little boy super Greg you see super craig once we know how to do things to animals we can hopefully apply them to mankind you think having more asses is impossible I tell you it's not you see genetic engineering is not just for animals and veggies we are working towards helping people as well here you can see genetic mutations of my dead son most people don't remember that I once had a young child named Terrence well yeah I remember that kid I was wondering what ever happen to him Terrence was killed tragically in town when some kids were playing around with a relic belonging to Barbara Streisand oh jeez I think that was us so you're doing this all as a way to bring back your dead fun bring it back well of course not I'm trying to give his dead body more asses so he can finally rest in peace now let's continue on to the fourth floor ah well here we are the top floor of the building and the end of our tour what it ease these horrible monstrous mistakes of science our new benefactor has asked that we genetically alter some of the local sixth graders and make them stronger and crazier okay okay why the would you do that how do you mean why the would you make genetically enhanced sixth graders calm down super Craig how do you think we pay for all this we have financial donors our latest benefactor has asked for this army of mutated sixth graders to protect his altered cats what altered cats oh right over this way a wealthy benefactor named mr. Connor has donated money to have stray cats enhanced with more asses our company can add asses to things at very competitive rates problem is that cat seemed to become really aggressive when giving more asses they've proven to be quite deadly then why would you break up like your kids up here look there's nothing to worry about this entire facility has a very complex security grid huh that's never happened before oh someone shut down the security grid what do you mean what are you doing [Music] you should have known mr. Connor if you shut down the security grid then everyone in this building is going to die now [Music] [Applause] [Music] my poor creatures we must escape the lab maybe maybe we can go through some of the larger exhibits this way children okay this time I've got the door ready to open the mutant sixth-graders are on the loose this was definitely not supposed to happen it's okay we'll be safe in the tour trim all the tour tram is offline somebody's gonna have to get you the CPU and hit the override switch where's the CPU down on the third level was silly to put it there wasn't it so somebody has to walk down to the third level and flip the switch once you got it sorry kid but it really should be you anyway yeah if you think about it this is all kind of your fault [Music] new kid thank God you've got to stop him he's out of his mind Cartman you what are you doing Connor brought me here human catch sick son of a you shut up King soon this town will be rid of you and all the friends we're Freedom House badass we know what you're doing Eric putting cat urine into people's drugs and alcohol to make them crazy we want to know why yeah why you sick weed effect do I really have to spell it out king this city is sick we both know it's there's only one time of year when this town is the way it should be on Christmas so I joined the Chamber of Commerce and use them to unleash my master plan escalate crime in the city blame crime on mayor run for mayor get tons of followers clone new kid into genetic mutant win election make everyday Christmas where do you think pretty sweet plan right dude quick take a selfie [Music] it's almost a shame that no one who ever know how perfectly my plan worked dude you've got too far this time nobody's gonna let you be mayor I know I've got all the new kids followers every last one of them is now following me gee that was smart Eric I know that Christmas every day sounds like fun but it really wouldn't be Becky dr. Tim McGee if you guys don't mind I've got an election to win oh there goes the main CPU turn it why did I put that thing on a mobilize trapdoor why wouldn't you I'm afraid now someone will have to go clear to the ground level and call for the tour tram from there all right fine hurry up nuke a we gotta get out of here yeah new kid [Music] sixth graders came out of nowhere my legs are broken sweetie mommy can't walk you have to go into town and get help sweetheart listen to me they were about to cut off your father's head to scan his DNA I'm sorry sweetheart but you have to finish the job the only way out of here is to kill daddy without being criticized oh you're the victim again huh like you don't be construct everything I say okay mister never wrong go do it sweetie go cut off daddy's head hurry what'd she say did she say how nothing is their fault like usual I knew something like this would happen and it's why I've told your mother to keep her mouth shut back I told you if our child powers were discovered they've tried to harvest her DNA and make a genetic clone the CPU is waiting for either of our DNA just trick your mom into walking over to it you hear that go get mommy's arm that should do it no please baby I've lost a lot of blood already [Music] if you take my arm it will kill me please don't kill mommy sweetheart mommy loves you okay okay wait wait wait is this is this about the medicine I put in your food we only did it to protect you your dad knew it had side effects go ask him go ask your dad about the side effects [Music] [Music] you did the right thing sweetheart no get out of here and go get help organic DNA sample accepted there we go you see that wasn't so hard was it what took you so long new kid you're just screwing around having fun alright Freedom House we've got to get out to the town and tell everyone what Cartman is doing I don't think so gasps you came all this way just to die and friends freedom pals can't in France freedom pals tunic innovative eggs careful guys he's got some kind of super weapon it's over fat ass we're gonna tell everyone on you yeah you hear that Connor you sick some of it you shut up King we need each other don't you get it I creates a crime and you stomp it out I am good for your franchise oh I get it now but then the new kid had to come along and try to stop me for good I had no choice but to have my own new kid built what have you done Eric simple how do you stop a friend by creating a massive genetically altered friend from that heroes DNA what oh dude that's so bass what do you mean Caine really you're just gonna fight a superhero by creating a big genetic mutant from the heroes DNA that's like every douchebag superhero movie ever yeah cuz it's kid it's not kid no no it's cool because it's like the ultimate enemy Oh give me a break well anyways I wasn't able to finish getting the new kids DNA so I had to resort to cloning a different superhero which superhero I'm a fanatic it's okay cousin will give you help respect rings affected migraine and I have to attack you all over get a migraine prepare for battle weaklings oh oh I think I gotta pull myself I don't think I should play anymore that was pretty amazing dude I've never heard anyone rip one like that well I hope you've all enjoyed the tour maybe now you have a new appreciation for what genetic engineering has to offer you're now all free to exit right through the gift shop yes Yap feel free to look around before enjoying the rest of your day perhaps you'd like to buy a I survived genetic mutants t-shirt or purchase a photo of you enjoying the tour lots of great things to remember your visit let's get the out of here that was Oh No what did this mysterion dude the nuke it farted so big he made it next week what check your phones it's ten days later called great the new kid farting us to next week damn it he screwed us way to go new kid and it's all the new kids come on Freedom House we have to stop him yeah the whole mayor's office is blocked like a fortress how can Cartman do that he can do whatever he wants he's mad look up in the window it's over we lost but we can't lose face it Kyle thanks to the new kid Carmen is mayor and there's no one left to help us new kid new kid come in with that pretty sure that's Morgan Freeman new kid there's been some kind of time shift anomaly I can only assume it came from your ass come to the taco shop we have to fix this you heard the man all freedom powers report to Freeman's tacos now all right the new kids here Morgan Freeman says he can help us stop Cartman now he's already been elected mayor it's the new kids book he ordered a forward in time new kid your farts have sped up time we have to somehow go back and stop Mitch Conner from ever rising to power this is the seven-layer quesarito Chipotle beefy nacho supreme the last time someone tried it they farted so bad it created a wormhole that made time travel possible now I have to warn you friend once you eat the seven-layer quesarito Chipotle beefy nacho supreme there is no going back make sure you have everything you need before you eat this do you understand so you're ready to eat the seven-layer quesarito Chipotle beefy nacho supreme now you must fart back in time to before Mitch Conner was sworn into office you can do it you just have to believe in yourself [Music] you can't I don't think it back are you sure you're believing in yourself believe in yourself Merry Christmas Happy Holidays yes cuz let's go let's get up let the plug for too late the new kids such as forward in time to when Cartman is already mayor you have to take us back new get back took before this all happened [Applause] it isn't working I think maybe the new kid had a fractured but whole fractured but whole that's ridiculous tool shutters right we have to get the kid to a doctor fast be careful new kid that Park is a really scary place on Christmas like it's been Christmas for a year what they put in this room stop drinking no good holidays boys oh god it's them again [Applause] now don't be scared yeah we're simply here to celebrate the coming of our Lord and Savior Merry Christmas everybody [Music] if we murder him we get fries wait a minute it's Christmas I know who can help new kid you have to pray to Christ [Applause] you can't put your faith in Jesus [Music] all right who the hold set it down from the sky you kill my reindeer Santa Claus well now maybe we can eat his flesh hail Satan oh you little critters again huh Santa's gonna kick the out of you thanks for your help Santa you're welcome kids now what the is this all about we're sorry but we're trying to go back in time but the new kid has a fractured buckle so we're trying to get him to the abortion clinic oh I see all right you kids get his ass fixed Santa we'll hold off these drunken fuckwads get moving to the abortion clinic Tina Tina I stand back kids we got a lot of abortions today it's Christmas we need a doctor to look at our friends lemme guess has got a big crack down the middle ha ha ha the mayor has to be stopped we know how to do it the mayor that scumbag made the town that always today we can put a stop to it please just look at our friends AK can you fix it I put a splint on it and a little sling to take pressure off the sphincter try it you try to take us back you can do it you can we should be happy that he's made friends in this town so quickly we came here to hide more friends just means more trouble you're being paranoid you need to lay off that stuff it's changing you Oh lay off it's the one thing that helps me relax from your stupid oh hey whippersnapper didn't see you there your friends are downstairs kiddo get out there and play the heathens are attempting to overtake Koopa keep that okay we're not playing superheroes don't ask come on you'll get spine real good Kings stick it out of the way you guys we've got to stop Cartman before he starts all this what are you kids doing we stopped playing superheroes like five days ago yeah get lost juice bags this isn't a dragon hey Frank Bucky dude I'm great we don't have time for this stand aside we have to get department well you just have to get back to us and our King oh you cannot cross here this is all lava we don't have time for this oh my god how do you do that are you joking it's like the rules don't even matter Jesus Christ did you see that oh hi kids I believe Eric is up in his room guys I was just traveling back in time to find you a cat's missing there's a big reward wait why are you guys already playing superheroes we know what you're up to fat-ass mysterion but you're with the Freedom House we're all freedom pals we're from the future you fat turd no I'm from the future I was just coming back to stick a to times to get you guys we aren't playing anymore we know everything so us your left hand my left hand foot when I was your left hand [Music] Hey hello freedom pass time travel ain't it a Connor what the hell are you doing here I had a plan to use the new kid as means to get what I always wanted but it looks like some do-gooders travelled back in time to stop me carve it I swear to God if you don't knock it off that's okay because I still know something you all don't what's that how to make someone fart super bad by hitting them in the solar plexus yeah [Music] we know we could keep you where are we now Connor we're in the time that a superhero was born recognize this place new kid a little child laying awake at night unable to sleep why have you brought us here don't you see this is the night new kid fateful night your dad your mom he walks to the mirror don't do this dad but don't you see Kim this is what he wanted out alone to fix it oh you heard your mother calling for help so you left your room yo new kid you can't change the past of course you can go look okay don't you see new kid I've given you an opportunity which will you do new kid fight the bad guys again or fight your younger self so that you never have to witness what's behind your parents door bad guys look we're just followers right you're the little kid with there's like a zillion followers right we just thought what we thought of it if you could add us and maybe you know maybe we could have friends because we don't really have any followers couldn't you please add us oh boy oh boy our moment our moment is finally here Wow ready when you are new kid it's happening we did it everyone I'm so happy oh hey kiddo everything all right yeah go back to bed honey daddy and I are a little busy okay you did it you stopped your dad you saved your mom new kid that's right and now there's nobody left to stop me I'm off to another Tarantino who the hell are you I'm the king this is your kid from the future our child from the future Oh God I knew something like this would happen our child knows we've been lying and wants some answers you're right kiddo we've been dishonest but only because we wanted to protect you the truth is your mom and I have certain abilities powers that normal humans don't have I discovered mine when I was younger one day I created a facebook profile and within a few hours I had over 3 million followers my powers are similar except they only seem to work on Instagram I got 4 million followers as soon as I posted my first picture of course powers like that don't go unnoticed for long shortly after that your mother and I were kidnapped by the government where they had scientists spending months doing experiments on us trying to figure out how we were able to gain so many followers so fast that's where your dad and I met and fell in love inside a cold damp government lab yes by day they ran experiments and by night we made sweet love my powers combined with your mother's you received over 10 million followers the minute you were born and by the time they cut the umbilical cord you were already more powerful than all the Kardashians combined that's why we had to escape because we knew the government would use you to do horrible things and we've been on the run ever since moving from city to city always trying to stay one step ahead but everywhere we go you just can't seem to stop gaining followers sometimes they even break into our house and use our toilet just to be close to you that's why we've been putting special medicine in your dinner sweetie to try to curb your powers but it didn't work the side effects of the medicine just gave you really powerful and really smelly farts we're sorry kiddo oh my god I feel so relieved to have finally told the truth me too honey I you know I don't think I need to drink anymore and I don't need to run from my problems with pop brownies oh honey I feel like your future is going to be totally different now I believe in us yeah God barf what about you sweetie now that you know the truth do do you think you can believe in yourself too [Music] [Music] [Music] we're back in downtown South Park but where is everybody more importantly what period of time have we landed at look like going great day for South Park this town has sucked for a long time and finally Mitch Conner is gonna be sworn in his there is my honor to introduce Mitch Conner today a man with some ball turns it around its inauguration game we can still stop Connor from becoming mayor let's do this this way [Applause] come on we can still stop this there he is guys you're alive oh thank god Mitch Connors about to be sworn in come on guys we gotta stop him you're not going anywhere you piece of you're gonna finally admit this was all you I am NOT on Mitch Conner sighs you guys not this you are Mitch Conner admit it our men know I'm knocked out admit it no Chow I have no control over Mitch Conner you are Mitch Conner you've always been Mitch Conner and you better stop right now then how do you explain this care well well well the plat thickens that's not funny cap I'm not doing it dude you what's the matter shoes on the other hand how knock it off why are you pissed at him because he's making it up that's why I'm not making it up dude that's your hand ass hoe stock bucket charlie mate how is he telling you Ken because he's trying to teach me a lesson about being deceitful wait so you admit you were making it up before see this is a troll to get me to admit I was trolling you guys this is just when I won it all the friends at each other's throats dude come on are you doing that maybe he is which means maybe Cartman was just doing it before well will you admit it Cartman you see that proves it see what he's doing right I have no idea oh how one little issue of mistrust can rip a team apart well freedom pass who do you attack me or the king dude dude enough already you got a drop it half you drop it cat ass tell these guys you were just with me they're gonna just keep beating the out of both of us get dude Kyle if you're just with us we have to know you're just making things more confusing if I was just with you then so is he fine maybe I'll admit it I'll admit I was just with you guys but only if Kyle admits to at first I'm not seeing anything until he does you admit it first all right fine we'll both admit it at the same time all right on three we're both said I was just with you guys fine okay fine one two three I was just with you haha gotcha Wow you and for too long our town has been led by a dumbass mayor who never did anything to stop crime and now Mitch Carter's gone out talking just make me mayor already it's Mitch corner [Applause] go on hurry swear me in alright to begin the inauguration mr. Connor would you raise your right hand please I do solemnly swear add you solemnly swear what's going on here just finish the ceremony everyone listen this is all just a plan to get more crime in our town so that the Coonan fringe franchise would be bigger than the freedom pal franchise cat urine has been put into your drugs and alcohol to raise crime in the city so that the would have more crime to fight everything was thought up by Mitch Conner rads a fat raccoon no don't you get it he did it all go ahead and you kid show them the selfie you took good now upload it to me and I'll put it on Connors Instagram for everyone to see Oh Mitch Connors plan hey there Ryan you mean he was putting poison in our wine and cocaine y-yeah I tell you bad because the new kid isn't the only person who had a parent get my dad got when I was 9 years old only two people on this stage know how that feels stop with that already Shh I want to hear this my father will be avenged even if it means everyone else has to die Mitch Mitch its Elephant Man what the hell are you doing here I've been here I'll announce then it's not your fault Mitch it's NASA what are you talking about it was me Mitch I'm the one who your dad what you my dad man well I did it for Ellison I wanted a future for you how these years hunting for the person that my dad and it was my own mother Mitch try and stay calm you kid you may be really cute but even you can't fix this did he look at you man huh did he look you in the eye when you snuck up and him it was an odd time again not to me Mitch every Jason it forgive her Mitch please tell me you're not buying into this kill you for what you did just kill me [Music] well thank God that guy isn't gonna be mayor come on everybody let's go get clean drugs and alcohol from the next town over [Music] you're the tickle bunny no you're the tickle bunny oh then I'll play with your friends honey this is a great town isn't it I love it here I'm so glad that all those years ago we came clean about our child's past I feel like I don't know like our lives are different now somehow I love you and I love you [Music] in fact Kido would you excuse us for a moment mommy and daddy have a little business to take care of upstairs oh you've little sneak did you really think you could stop bad things from happening don't you see the chaos oh these catches up with you he's dry being a hero there's only one truth in this punky no matter how hard you try to change the past your dad [Laughter]

Channel: fulltimespy

Views: 2,321,732

Rating: 4.2834935 out of 5

Keywords: south park, full episode, movie, fractured but whole, stick of truth

Id: ta-Wr6dO0Gk

Length: 176min 24sec (10584 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 07 2017