Some of the Best of Spark of Insanity | JEFF DUNHAM

[Applause] thank you and driving around the city the last couple days i couldn't help but realize that here in dc just like everywhere else in the country gas prices suck my wife and i live in l.a and we uh not long ago were the proud owners of two big giant suvs and uh we decided to do the economically and ecologically right thing we got rid of one of the big giant suvs and got a prius i don't know what you're laughing at it's a great vehicle you jump on the freeway and punch and it goes [Music] and when you can drive underneath an 18-wheeler and go that is really dirty and drive back out that is just too damn small it is kind of cool when you go to the gas pump to fill up because in one tank you've driven like two or three thousand miles and you go and fill up it's like oh all done i'll be down ten cents that's amazing not used to a vehicle like this so all of ours have big trucks and big suvs and the one vehicle i refuse to get rid of i've had it for 10 years it's paid for i love this thing i've taken good care of it i know it's not politically correct to drive it anymore i don't care it's the h1 hummer the real one the big one the military i love this thing it has a 38 gallon tank get seven miles to the gallon diesel where i live at its peak was three dollars and 84 cents a gallon yeah i went to fill it up that week it wasn't even empty it cost me a hundred and forty eight dollars i pushed the vehicle home as it rolled into the driveway i called my kids out and i said girls look at our new front yard ornaments get the prius you suck that i used to pick priuses out of the grill of my hummer [Applause] what's wrong with you tonight i don't know i'm just pissed i don't want to go home why not i think my house is haunted why do you think that my wife is there [Applause] i walk in the front door and all i hear is get out [Applause] you guys got another argument on the phone today didn't you oh you heard a little that did you oh yeah yeah hung up on her not good no she called right back and she goes did you hang up on me i said i don't know it sounds something like this click did that make her angry oh i felt a disturbance in the force you ever made her that mad when you're standing right in front of her oh yeah what'd you do well my mother always told me when you're in a gym that don't know what to do you should think what would jesus do ah so i tried to turn her into a fish i stood there going legon satan hello shamu [Applause] well at least chandler has only one blowhole ah screw you that was funny look it's a c.i.a i see you we can all see you [Applause] you know the show looks a lot better from the front is the director drunk what the hell holy crap wait come back come back let me see in there this is comedy central i can see kartlin i can see kenny oh he just got killed thank you you know ladies and gentlemen as we all know there's a big mess going on in the middle east right now and uh when it comes to the terrorists most of us don't understand their extremist views and beliefs and i got to thinking the other day how would it be just to sit down and talk to one of those guys [Applause] we have that very opportunity tonight please help me welcome ahmed the dead terrorist [Applause] [Applause] good evening ahmed good evening infidelity so you're a terrorist yes i am the terrorist what kind of terrorist a terrifying terrorist are you scared not really no and no not really no ugh how about now no god damn it oh oh i i mean uh allah damn it silence i kill you [Applause] i kill you how do you spell it what how do you spell your name [Music] slim sing it so ahmed if you're a terrorist i would suppose you have some sort of specialty yes i am the suicide ah so you're finished what you've done your job no i haven't but you're dead no i'm not i feel fine but you're all bone it's your flesh wound silence i kill you what the hell happened to my feet [Applause] stop touching me i kill you all right just hold on we'll fix this okay wait what are you doing holy crap and in the air wait wait wait something is backwards holy crap i need some lignans just sit still okay i will not move my ass you idiot you don't have an ass is that walter yes he scares the crap out of me thank you you know folks there's never been a better time than right now in our country to introduce a brand new superhero we have that very thing this evening he's big he's powerful please help me welcome the superhero melvin hi it's good to see you melvin oh thank you it's uh nice being here in our nation's capitol so you're a superhero yes what is your most outstanding feature my costume it's a very nice costume thank you yeah what does the d stand for oh that's my theme song you have a theme song what's your theme song and where'd you get the costume that my friend is a superhero secret ebay damn it how did you deduce that there's a tag on the back it says ebay it's as plain as the nose on your boop sorry all right so uh you're a superhero yes and uh do you fight crimes yes of course ah what kind of crime the bad kind so what have you done lately uh today i was battling a terrorist ahmed yes and what kind of battle checkers and every time i'd get a king he'd blow it up so what'd you do i issued a verbal threat and then walter gassed him [Applause] well ladies and gentlemen if you've seen my show before you'll recognize this next guy please help me welcome my buddy peanut how you doing peanut butter pretty good how are you i'm fine that's good that's good that's good so you like it here oh i love being in dc it's great and i love this theater the one of the warner theater it's fantastic and they have a cool website right they got a link to our website which is just on ham.com and i think it pulled it i think that peanuts are stopping what's the mistake what's the what the hell is wrong with you we cannot talk at the same time i thought you duck i thought you dug that's it focus [Applause] i am so sick of this crap i have tried going solo what happened kept falling off this freaking thing and i why did you interrupt me you mispronounced my name what you mispronounced my last name i know it's dunham now when you look at it it says don't ham just on hand you're the other white knee don't confuse everyone it's dunham it says dunham you know you know when you think about it 30 seconds it's actually just on harm what jeff faffer you're using an unneeded f jeff am i pissing you off of her [Applause] science i kill you you

Channel: Jeff Dunham

Views: 1,448,706

Keywords: best of, spark of insanity, jeff dunham, comedy central, achmed, comedy special, all over the map, america's got talent, arguing with myself, beside himself, bubba j, christmas special, comedian, comedy, commercial, controlled chaos, funny, hilarious, jeff dunham netflix, jeff dunham: beside himself, keel, minding the monsters, movie, movie trailer, netflix, netflix original, netflix special, peanut, promo, promotion, stand-up, tntl, trailer, tv, unhinged in hollywood, ventriloquist, Walter

Id: nKSwFWDztsE

Length: 14min 52sec (892 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 05 2021