Sister In Law Tries To ONE UP Me - SIL Out Did My Engagement Party - Askreddit Women

ass credit what is your narcissist sister-in-law story my sister-in-law has a baby he's a year old now she got pregnant new junior year of college had the baby that summer went on to finish her senior year and graduate this year her and the father broke up early into the pregnancy her parents were already paying her tuition which they continued to do they had her moved back home with them and they babysit her son they keep him a lot they paid for all practical costs of living for her such as food diapers phone bill car insurance gas she hasn't had a job since she got pregnant and she has never paid for her own living expenses aside from extra clothes and going out money I'm not mad about what they do for her I just think she's really out of touch with what being a single parent is like for most people and he goes on about it in a way that rubs me the wrong way when she was pregnant she made several posts on Facebook like if you need a sign to leave a toxic relationship this is your sign you can and will thrive etc etc etc with a maternity picture of herself in designer clothes knowing the full extent of her situation it felt really tone-deaf because most people who are pregnant and in a toxic relationship don't have the support system that she does to fall back on as someone who was previously in a very bad marriage I couldn't just leave and when I finally did I certainly wasn't thriving for a long time then she graduated from college and started doing the same thing so many posts for all youth single mothers out there who has the whole world doubting you you can do it I am living proof that if you work hard enough and believe in yourself etc etc etc I accomplished something that a lot of people think they can't and no one thought it could with pictures in her cap and gown again as a former single mother who actually had to support myself and kids going to college full-time was out of the question then she did it at the dinner table one night in front of me she's done it in front of me a couple of times but this time it went on and really annoyed me so I straight-up told her look I'm proud of you I'm happy for you I'm very glad you finished school but you're so far out of touch with what 99% of other single mothers in this country experience and I think the way you talk about it is really tone-deaf considering all the help you have she was like no matter how much help finishing school after just having a baby is hard I was like I'm not saying it's hard I'm saying it's not as hard as you make it out to be you didn't have any obstacles standing in your way which is something you never acknowledged you act like you're inspiring when really you just have it easier than almost everyone else in your position it comes off like you're bragging she's really offended but I feel like she asked for it by bringing it up so many times in a really arrogant way background my fiance and I have been together six and a half years after getting engaged we told his family we live close to his family while mine is between five to ten hours away the following weekend our birthday weekend yes we have the same birthday my future sister-in-law decided to announce her baby gender at seven weeks pregnant prior to the get-together it was communicated it was our birthday dinner and a celebration of our engagement well my future sister-in-law decided to change the event to be her gender-reveal decorations and everything she was only seven weeks pregnant at the time anytime that evening I got asked about or talked about the wedding I got dirty looks from my future sister-in-law we had gone engaged two weeks prior to her surprise reveal which in my opinion could have waited till she was further along the entire night was about them even when I mentioned we were looking at houses I was told I can't get a house until my future sister-in-law sells her house buy my future sister-in-law this happened five months ago I'm still mad about her not choosing to give us time to be the center of attention before taking over with the baby talk my other future sister-in-law just had a baby and she's been totally cool about us talking about the wedding my fiance's actual sister rather than his brother's wife the sister-in-law I have an issue with only wants to talk about how her son and my other sister-in-laws son are going to be BFFs and do everything together even my fiance's dad points out that there will be other kids around especially with us getting married after this I have kept all of the wedding planning to myself and my family and friends after perceiving an overall lack of interest in our engagement and wedding from my fiance's family I don't feel my decision to leave them out has been done on purpose but I took the whole event with my sister-in-law so personally that I can't get over it it doesn't seem like anyone else Minds not talking about the wedding plans either I understand that everyone has their own life plans but I was just so disappointed in my future sister-in-law and future family even my fiancee who is the comest coolest person I know was upset I know his family likes me and that isn't an issue but I need to get over these bitter feelings her baby shower which I was not included with planning is coming up and I want to be happy for her I just can't help but feel she will take over anything leading up to our wedding even our wedding day if she's pregnant again she told my other sister-in-law that she hoped I didn't ask her to do anything for the wedding because she would be pregnant again she apparently really does not want to be involved I don't know how to move past these feelings about her I 25 years old female and my husband 27 years old male have been together for eight going on nine years married for one and a half and ever since we got married his sisters have been an absolute nightmare they always try to sabotage my plans with my family they take over family vacations his sisters are passive aggressive and they make backhanded comments she makes him feel guilty over the stupidest things my husband is the youngest and they treat him like a know-nothing twit but at the same time place a responsibility on him that shouldn't be his in the first place today was the last straw they're planning a surprise birthday for their dad and they gave us the option of choosing between two weekends I told him to tell them not to one weekend because it's my mom's birthday I have a whole day planned he didn't say no he said it's my mom's birthday on weekend two she took it as a yes and planned for weekend - and then said their mom had asked for the day off already this was all in the span of three hours at 8:00 p.m. my husband told me and I was furious that she would do that after he had already said it was my mom's birthday he told her it's not going to work and she tried to guilt him because he never said no straight up and didn't communicate well enough which if he said I have surgery that day would she have taken that as a yes as well she's only saying that because she's Petty and trying to be a witch she tried to make my husband filled guilty for not wanting to go to his father's birthday he asked her why she would give us the option of choosing between two dates if she had clearly already planned on going on this specific date he told her Sunday if weekend 2 would work out better for us since my mom's birthday is Saturday and she said that wouldn't work even though everyone in the family has weekends off and my mother-in-law also requested to have that Sunday off she told him to tell me and my family that we won't be attending my mom's birthday and that I should just celebrate it with my mom alone and he should celebrate it with his dad alone and to add insult to injury she said he still needs to pitch in with money for the party regardless of whether he's going or not I finally told him that his sister was a witch and I'm sorry if he can't see how petty and vicious she is but she is she's a total witch she only does things because she thinks they'll create a rift in our marriage or just to get to me my sister-in-law let's call her Karen is one of those people that just has to make everything about her you got a huge promotion at work meh no one cares Karen just bought milk half price how clever is she you are going to hospital for emergency surgery big deal this one time like ten years ago Karen had a surgery deliberately putting everything in caps here as Karen is loud and quite over-the-top at times anyway after two years of dating my boyfriend Karen's younger brother we will call him max proposed my family's happy his family is happy at this point in time I still had a very close relationship with mother-in-law we quickly organized a backyard engagement party and friends and family fly in from interstate so it's a reunion and engagement party all in one good times ahead right so as the afternoon wears on Karen turns up with her long-term partner bill bill and Karen have been together for 10 plus years have a house kids etc but aren't married and have no interest in doing so no big deal Max and I originally had no interest either how we got engaged is another story in itself until now Karen and I got along okay but that promptly turned sour as she proceeds to spend the whole evening getting drunk and telling every person around what an idiot her brother is for getting married everyone my mom my dad my colleagues everyone heard about how terrible a person I was bill was a trooper trying to manage her but he eventually gave up and left without her the end of the night comes and everyone has left except a few work colleagues that finish late and came over for a chat and a feed max is busy with the barbecue Karen is sitting next to me facing my colleagues Karen ignoring me my brother is so soft for getting married what a piece of crap you are and idiot max forget marrying her me yeah I'm right here Karen can you knock it off Karen yeah you are you guys are idiots you don't even have a house I've got a house max you're making a mistake you piece of crap max is ignoring his sister as she drives him nuts although apparently they are so close just ask her I weigh up my options and decide that storming upstairs and remaining there until she leaves is the best option Karen leaves in a taxi shortly after sucked in cab fare would have been at least $80 should have left when bill dead and the next day neither apologizes more acknowledged her rude behavior even after max has a word to her I'd like to say that it was a one-off tantrum but 10 years later it's become a fairly regular occurrence with still no apology and that was just the engagement party I am steaming mad about this and everyone around me is pretending like I'm being a witch I'll let you people decide first I sell my own clothes my husband and I live in a very nice house with a huge room filled with gorgeous sunlight for my hobbies we hosted Thanksgiving my sister-in-law and her three kids were staying with us despite that she always treats me like crap for preferring pets over kids on Tuesday as I went to do some last-minute shopping my sister-in-law texted about a tablecloth for her kids to put down while they did Christmas ornaments I walked her through the closet with a very clearly marked tablecloths I got home three hours later and checked in on everyone when I went into the hobby room where everyone was gathered I saw it she pulled my Atelier brunette fabric from the closet marked fabric this particular style was discontinued several years ago but I snagged for $25 a yard I had six yards let me note that fabric is expensive and I have always sourced from thrift stores deep clearance etc this was a gift to myself I screamed what the hell are you doing and ran to the table she looked alarmed and acted like she had no idea what she'd done her kids spilled all kinds of paint all over the fabric I told everyone to stop put down the crafts and get out after I cried over that fabric and tried my best to salvage it I demanded she replace it and said how she argued that there was no way of knowing that ugly fabric was for something other than a tablecloth because it didn't look like anything anyone would ever wear seriously I said I expected six yards black friday she and the girls handed me a Joann Fabric bag they handed me six yards of an absolutely hideous keepsake calico fabric typically $9.99 a yard but on sale for 399 this weekend I asked her if she was being serious and she said yes here's six yards of ugly fabric I deadpanned get out of my house now and she got very angry and started arguing with me that it's not her fault that I have expensive tastes I told her to leave now and not to come back unless she has equal quality fabric of course I'm being told what an awful evil person I am because I wouldn't graciously accept her insult of crap quality quilting cotton for those who don't know fabric this was like presenting someone with a 2001 Honda Civic after crashing their 20/20 Maserati last Christmas we had some weirdness over Christmas Day present opening I had purchased a lovely cashmere throw for sister-in-law husband's brother's wife she googled the brand and price then and there which kind of annoyed me and later I overheard her make some joke about how she could pay half a mortgage payment several hours later during brunch someone asked her what was wrong she seemed upset and she confessed that our presents always make her feel bad she's tired of us throwing our money and her and her husband's face and Christmas has become really stressful with pressure over gift-giving husband and I apologized profusely and did some self-reflection afterwards on the unintentional effects of elaborate gift-giving and decided to go more low-key in the future although a little part of it has always sat poorly with me cents this cost Saturday I attended a baby shower for the same sister-in-law it's the first gift-giving occasions since Christmas and I really wanted to do it carefully I asked a co-worker who recently had a baby what range is typically appropriate she said she mostly got gifts between 30 and 50 dollars and so I decided on three little things from the registry totaling just over $30 anyways at the shower it becomes clear that well certainly most gifts were in the 30 to 50 dollar range all attendees who were family members seemed to give more like $100 gifts near the end of the event mother-in-law pulled me aside and said that sister-in-law felt like I was being spiteful to her for Christmas I again apologized and as a cover said that husband and I had written a check for the little ones college fund as well but didn't feel it was appropriate to hand to her during the present opening then I scurried off to the bathroom and wrote a check for $100 when I found sister-in-law by herself for a second I handed her the check and explained that we wanted to give her this earlier the present opening seemed like a bad time she looked at the check and kind of witchly said we don't need your money I kind of snapped and told her bluntly and not like yelling but not like in hushed tones either people nearby apparently definitely overheard that I was tired of her and if it made her feel better we could just stop exchanging presents in the future she started crying and I immediately laughed I've been getting my texts from everyone in the family and her best friend about how I ruined the baby shower ever since my sister-in-law my wife's sister came over Thanksgiving eight years ago and has long history of borrowing and never paying us back after all your husband's a doctor and you've got that great job at the bank you're both loaded she once told my wife short story is that she needed $60,000 down payment for an apartment in a landmark building in Manhattan and came to my wife for the money in mid November my wife agreed and drew up a written agreement for payback on Thanksgiving sister-in-law started right after dinner nagging about the closing going to happen in seven days and now needs the money in her addy escrow account my wife and I both said no way anyone needs the money over this holiday can't do anything until Monday anyhow still she insisted and insisted and pouted and nagged the rest of the night I signed your agreement for payback and now this is how you treat me relentless until finally at 2:00 a.m. on Good Friday my wife just sat down at the computer with her to do the transfer of the 60,000 to the Audi escrow but sister-in-law didn't have the a DS escrow bank account number how will we get it text him my wife suggested no she replied it's Thanksgiving night I can't bother him sister-in-law said perhaps my wife can call his cell was sister-in-law idea wife and I looked at each other weary eyed in utter disbelief finally I spoke we can't do it tonight we have to wait until tomorrow sister-in-law lost it yelling pacing back and forth you guys better not let me down with this my lawyer said he needed the money by Good Friday ordeal is off the closing must happen by next Friday next day money was transferred the closing I hear you asked didn't happen until mid-june of the following year yes our $60,000 gathered zero interest for eight full months and change and for follow-up she repaid exactly 19 thousand two hundred and fifty four dollars then just stopped paying my wife's sister Abby is child free neither my wife nor I could care less about whether Abby decides to have children but over the years we have tolerated quite a bit of performative behavior from her calling children crotch fruit talking about how dumb people are for becoming parents and so on we had our first child last year and as a result she's been less outright rude about children but more bragging about how our lives are harder now and hers is free of responsibilities stuff like I think I might go to Europe this summer I'll tell you about my trip for when you're able to go there in 20 years or talking about a concert she's going to - which she says she thought about inviting her sister but it starts at nine o'clock and I'm sure you'll be in bed by then you get the idea there have been lots of comments like this but I've noticed that while Abby talks a big game she never does seem to do any of the stuff she talks about she doesn't actually travel she doesn't ever seem to actually go to any of these concerts or shows or anything whenever I asked her about them she always tells some a story about how she decided to skip it just this one time it seems to me like she likes the idea of having freedom more than she likes exercising that freedom she was over last weekend and had said something snarky about my kid so I was already kind of annoyed before she started talking at length about some TV show she's been watching and I just couldn't help myself and said something to the effect of for a person with such a fun child free lifestyle you sure do have a lot of Netflix recommendations anyway she's really mad at me now first world problems throw away my husband and I rent out houses we've got five rental properties not including our beach house our beach house has a hot tub heated swimming pool a tennis court and access to a gym the beach house is our baby sister in law asks five months ago to use the house January 9th to 19th I told her sure I don't know why anyone would go to the beach house in this horrible weather but who am I to judge I told her we usually charge two hundred and eighty six dollars a day it is reasonable since she's family I'd be willing to charge two hundred and fifty not saving much but still we usually charge 300 dollars to heat the pool for a week I'd be willing to do it for 270 it was agreed upon and has been fine for months when she started complaining about lack of money because saving up to pay me was draining her funds she is a single mother after all I asked her to stop complaining I have given her a discount she didn't and we argued about how I let mother-in-law rent the house for $200 a week and that I'm being selfish because her kids are so excited we gave it to mother-in-law at that price since father-in-law passed away not too long before and she needed a place to grieve I told her since she felt that way the prices are no longer discounted she now won't speak to me my husband thinks I'm an idiot since we don't need the money we'll get from renting it to her everyone had agreed to the price he just doesn't like conflict my husband and I sometimes pay her rent or half of it this year she took $200 for a car whatever profit would have gone back to her in that form I deal with the beach house because it was mine before the marriage unlike the rest of our properties you [Music]

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit women, reddit girls, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit sister in law, reddit mother in law, reddit engagement, reddit proposal, reddit in law, worst sister in law, askreddit sil, askreddit mil

Id: FvlmlO5bK5E

Length: 20min 2sec (1202 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 06 2020