Stepmom Gifts Me Eviction Papers On My B-day & Kicks Me Out But Now Dad Demands I Help Bc She's Sick

i female34 have not had a relationship with my father 63 in roughly 18 years my mother died when i was little and he remarried when i was 10. his wife who i'll refer to as bella has always treated me terribly i can remember more than one meal where she forgot to make enough for everyone so she made me a peanut butter sandwich she knew i was allergic to peanuts then she'd complain at me for being ungrateful and i wouldn't get dinner at all she forgot me more than once at stores i was also quite frequently left to watch her children who destroyed my belongings and wouldn't listen my father always blew it off i was too sensitive it must have been an accident i needed to understand it was a big adjustment for her kids i just needed to get over it when i turned a bit older bella gave me a gift that she said was from the whole family eviction papers my father just said it was for the best i had nowhere to go and no job i couch surfed for two years until i thankfully got a job and left for college i started going to therapy and after a lot of years realized i wasn't the problem that i was put into a terrible position and the person who was supposed to protect me didn't here's where i'm probably the idiot i received a letter from my father bella is sick and they're trying to find a bone marrow match i was incredulous he actually wanted me to get tested to see if i could save the witch who made my life horrible for years i was furious and a whole ton of resentment came back i threw the letter away any other letter i marked returned to sender i know i should probably be the bigger person and get tested but i'm still so resentful of everything she put me through and everything my dad allowed to happen maybe it's me but if you throw your kid away you don't get to ask them for anything ever and before anyone asks yes i am still in therapy so am i the idiot for refusing to get tested to see if i'm a match for my father's sick wife please don't for one second think you're an idiot for not getting tested for someone who actively mistreated you she wouldn't make enough for dinner then make you food you were allergic to just so she'd have a reason to complain about you being ungrateful and your father just allowed that to happen he failed you she left you at stores and it was never brought up you were failed again her kids were allowed to destroy your belongings and no consequences were given all the children were failed because those kids could act up worse later they evicted you at such young age which is illegal in most places that i know of and now have the audacity to ask you to get tested to help her they failed you for years you owe them nothing let me repeat you are absolutely not wrong you are not the idiot the father has the guts to even ask her to do something to compromise her health to help someone who is perfectly willing to torture her for six years it's not right for him to totally fail her then abandon her and almost two decades later ask her for help who does the guy think he is hopping on top comment to mention that by purposely trying to feed you the peanut butter sandwiches you were allergic to she could have done severe damage or even killed you but now she wants you to save her life because it's so precious no you are not wrong mail her a jar of organic peanut butter with a get well soon card i was friends with a girl named jenny in middle and high school our friendship was very tumultuous she tended to say mean things and could be very judgmental she called me skinny witch a lot despite me asking her not to she also talked about me behind my back a lot i stayed friends with her because i had low self-esteem and didn't want to be completely friendless it's pathetic i know after we graduated i got my own apartment and job then started college we're about 18 19. she met a guy named david online and they decided to meet for an outing they chose not to call a date it was going super well so jenny had david come with her to my apartment to watch movies she liked him but he just wanted to be friends and told her as much i played wingman regardless trying to help her out days later david starts texting me jenny admits she gave him my number because he asked for it and she thought we had a lot in common i'm furious at first but decided to let it go at first i don't like david but as we talk we have a spark he asked me out and i say no i knew jenny still liked him he reminded me they were just friends he kept asking and i said i wanted to clear things with jenny first so i called her asking for her blessing before i'll say yes jenny went nuts she said i was a horrible friend called me names and couldn't believe i would stab her in the back like this i tried to apologize and explained that i never meant for it to happen but she wouldn't hear it she said i was not allowed to date david ever because she liked him she and her sister started posting awful stuff about me online including pictures of me talking about how ugly and horrible i was then they started calling me at all hours leaving mean messages i tried to appeal to our other friends but they agreed with her for breaking the girl code since my friends already hated me now i went out with david anyway and we're still together over a decade later i have not spoken to jenny or our friends in years now this has bothered me for a long time i've always tried to be a good friend and not pull any shady stuff so now i ask you am i the idiot not the idiot they met online and went on one date not a date which didn't go well that is not a relationship that should be subject to the girl code she gave him your number it's almost like she set you up to be in this situation like some bizarre social experiment she sounds like she was a pretty awful friend and you're well shot of her and your other friends which sound like they were fed a load of crap about it all not the idiot david had made it clear he only wanted to be friends with jenny she doesn't own him and can't decide who he dates any potential idiot-ness is wiped clean from you being together 10 years later you tried to handle it maturely but she firmly went into wrong territory by slamming you online full disclosure i was in a similar situation but my jenny said yes to me dating my husband she was hurt i only found this out afterwards but she was respectful and we are still friends 12 years later my parents divorced six years ago my dad finally left my mom after years of affairs and mistreat he finally left her i don't think she would have ever left him and told her very horrendous things like she was overweight and ugly and no man would ever love her that she was spoiled goods and he could always find love she would just spend the rest of her life watching him do so me and my siblings heard the entire fight fast forward six years my mom lost 80 pounds after the divorce married my stepdad four years ago and had another baby and is a happy stay-at-home wife before she used to work 24 7 while my father jumped from odd job to odd job my father is dead broke addicted to drinking and i think something else and hasn't dated since he always calls me to complain about his life and ask for money he always asks me about my mom and her husband a new life and i don't tell him anything he doesn't even know the new city she lives in her request i told him to stop asking me and he accused her of turning us against him because i don't tell him updates about her life and i replied it's karma everything you said to her the day you moved out came back to haunt you don't lie and say she turned us against you you did that yourself and hung up i was just fed up my sister called me to say i upset dad and to apologize because he seemed very irate i told her i don't care and he deserved to hear the truth you are not the idiot if he's gonna say nasty things to your mother and say it where you can hear it then he has to be prepared for her life to go differently than he expected and for you to know what he said her life got better despite him trying his hardest to break her emotionally instead his life got messed up you pointed that out karma is a witch but your dad sounds like a bigger one my fiancee and i have been together for several years in the past my fiance genuinely made several efforts to try and connect with my family especially my parents but they weren't very interested in forming a personal relationship with her and she respected their boundaries my family is polite and nice enough to her but there's practically no relationship my sister's late husband seemed to be the favorite in-law to my family especially my parents he was the perfect package i barely see my family but the favorite in-law fact did make gatherings very awkward when my parents would take more of an interest in his personal life over my fiances dismiss her in favor of him or cut her off entirely from conversation in order to hear him speak he always tried to help my fiance get back into the conversation tried to make sure he wasn't dominating the conversation etc he was a great guy but the blatant favoritism did make things slightly uncomfortable my sister was hosting a relatively small gender reveal party this party was technically the first time we would have all been together since my late brother-in-law's funeral midway through the party my fiance gets a phone call and excuses herself to a spare bedroom to take the call almost 20 minutes pass and she hasn't come out of the room so i go to check on her turns out her dad had just died in the hospital she was very close to her dad and i can't imagine what that must have felt for her she was softly crying for 10 minutes on the floor i asked her if she wants to go home at first she tries to convince me that she's okay that she will just fix her makeup and hope no one notices her eyes she kept saying i'm fine when she really wasn't fine after a few moments of silence she says she wants to go home but asks me to make an excuse for leaving prematurely we come out of the bedroom when she's ready and i make up an excuse about how my fiance wasn't feeling well at first it was mostly harmless are you sure you can't stay or even until the gender reveal i kept shaking my head no and without too much hassle we went back home the night of the gender reveal i got a bunch of angry text messages about how my fiance could have just sucked it up or how my fiance was taking advantage of me and accused me of not supporting my sister enough during the hardest emotional period of her life my fiance feels terrible and ended up apologizing formally with a fruit basket and a couple of gift cards to my sister's favorite places on top of our original gift it was thoughtful but my fiance's gifts are starting to make me feel guilty for making her leave you are not the family no one else in your family is going to prioritize your fiance but they will make sure that your sister is taken care of keep taking care of your partner if an apology won't suffice it's on them you are so not wrong her father died she owes your disgusting family nothing text them back fiance's father died sissy's pregnancy does not trump that my place is by her side get over it and get over me being part of your life's you have already treated her like crap on your shoe and i'm sick of it grow up unpopular opinion but you are wrong dude classic mistake you pinned it on your fiancee even though it's true that it was because she needed to leave always put the blame on yourself when around your family you already knew that their relationship is strained and yet even when you kind of lied about the real reason for leaving you still weren't kind enough to at least lie that you needed to go so your family wouldn't have any more fuel against her even if my partner is the one that needs to go i make a point to say i need to leave so that is never on him and it never comes off to my family that he's not wanting to spend time with them or being inconsiderate you are the idiot but more like a boneheaded clueless idiot not a malicious one husband of almost 20 years cheated on me he was sleeping around and got a girl who was many years younger than him pregnant i left him when i found out we have two kids two girls they know how to do the math my girls are not stupid mom and dad break up and they have a new mom and new baby brother four months later i have not connected any dots for them nor do i bad-mouth their father to them our custody agreement is they go to his house two weekends a month and stay with me the rest of the time the girls don't like going to their father's house i tell them they should go and spend quality time with their dad they tell me they're always asked to change diapers i brought it up to the ex that it's not my girl's job to do that they said their stepmom gets mad when they don't want to look after their new kid or change diapers my ex has a three-bedroom house but my girls sleep in a room in the basement they don't like that they can't relax on weekends they say their stepmom isn't the nicest last weekend my younger one got her period and they didn't have pads usually the older one keeps pads in her bag but didn't refill her bag since last time she had her period she asked her dad for pads for her little sister x told her to ask stepmom older daughter said she didn't want to so she texted me and i drove over and brought her pads my ex is furious because i encroached on his time with the girls i literally dropped pads and some treats hugged my girls and made sure the little one was okay and said we will talk more tomorrow call me if she needs anything and i should have told my oldest to just ask her stepmom i said i can't force my daughter to feel comfortable with her i can't manufacture it and i'm not going out of my way to tell my girls to have a relationship with their stepmom i said this in private not in front of the girls like i said i don't bad mouth them in front of my kids having a relationship with their dad is important so i'm not going to jeopardize that because their dad messed up am i the idiot because i'm not trying to make their relationship better it's not my job my girls are smart have minds of their own they never heard it from my mouth that their dad cheated on me but i don't think they're stupid they probably have some idea you are not the idiot your ex and his wife are making them change diapers and all things they aren't comfortable with and why does your ex make them sleep in the basement he has a three-bedroom house which can easily accommodate them in one of the bedrooms your daughters will definitely despise their dad and stepmother my family my mom dad sister 23 and i 19 female all moved to the u.s from finland for my dad's work five years ago my sister stayed in finland though saying she wanted to finish schooling this was a lie as she was secretly pregnant dropped out and we found out after we moved parents took care of money for her and moved her here parents bought us a cheap car to share i was too young to drive sister wasn't in school or work but drove me to school i started working at a young age and she convinced them to force me to give her 75 of my money towards car gas maintenance it gave around 2 300 or so and it only ever got a 50 battery and she still used money my dad gave her for gas she told my parents i wasn't giving her money or blowing it and they believed her few years later i'm 18 in my senior year sister gets told that since my nephew is about four and enrolled to go to head start during the day she needed to get a job suddenly she gets pregnant found out she lied to a guy about being on birth control the father took off i'm now in university i finished year one barely due to global issue last year lucky enough 70 to 80 of my school is paid for through grants scholarship parents give me a hundred dollars a month to help i ended up buying another car with money i secretly saved from my first real job waitressing mostly tips i could hide easier i used the car for the last of high school and first year of college my living situation here changed and global situation changed and i don't really need my car here covered it took my keys my parents supported my sister getting a locksmith and getting my title out of their safe so she could approve them making a key for it she just got pregnant again too i got two speeding camera tickets and realized what she was doing i was so angry i told them i was going to come get the car she gets in a wreck just days later while drunk other driver was actually at fault though sis got a dui i was supposed to get the car from a body shop sister ends up finding an expired old id of mine and picks up the car i found out through a friend who lives close right away about seeing my sister driving it sent keys to my friend she picked up the car and took it to her house so i could come get it sister finds out and finds the car takes it i report it stolen she's found at her new boyfriend's with the car and hi with herbs on her gets charged for the theft and possession the family consensus is that i'm a selfish piece of crap that i've ruined my sisters and even my mom's and dad's lives even back home my grandmother is my only supporter i've blocked everyone and sent back the hundred dollars my mom sent me on the first telling her to give it to my sister i have to admit i'm pretty resolute in my position and don't believe i'm the idiot here i've honestly never felt more relieved than this last week where i'm no longer in the family social media group chats or getting calls and voicemails constantly am i the idiot [Music] oh my god not the idiot get all of your natural documents passport birth certificate and important documents like car title and lock your identity down your sister can destroy your credit if she takes out cards in your name to pay for a new car your family is supporting her is trash that took itself out make sure to report that the car was stolen when the damage happened you can do this you are not the idiot your sister is a menace a drunk driver and a thief you're in the right here i don't know why your family is blaming you for her poor behavior seems like they made their choice to believe and support her over you so now they'll live with the consequences like sister getting deported and the parents winding up with three little kids [Music] you

Channel: ASK GURL

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit step family, reddit stepmom, reddit eviction papers, reddit kicked out, reddit donation, reddit stepmom demands

Id: 3KAwSLlLAuc

Length: 18min 48sec (1128 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 13 2021