EX Signed Away His Parental Rights Yrs Ago But Now His New Wife Is Suing Me For Taking Away HIS Baby

i had a child with an ex-boyfriend he left me declared he had changed his mind about being apparent and ghosted after a few months the lack of any formal custody agreement was starting to cause some legal problems with my child's care so i had to chase him down to get him to sign some kind of custody agreement i had an agreement drafted by a lawyer that had primary custody going to me but with visitation rights for him i also had my lawyer provide me documents that would terminate his parental rights so i could offer that as well i finally tracked him down he screamed at me for a while and he grabbed the first paper from me and signed it without reading it asking me if i would finally leave him alone now i hadn't contacted him at all before this imagine my surprise when i realized he actually signed to give up parental rights on the advice of my lawyer i had it filed with the court immediately there was a hearing which he received summons for but he refused to appear it and his rights were terminated i never sought child support and moved on with my life but kept all necessary documents related to it in a folder so that my child can have that information when they're old enough to ask years passed i have never been opposed to having him be a part of my child's life if he contacted me but the safety and security of my child both legally and emotionally is my top priority and i'm glad i can provide that he apparently got married and his wife contacted me with a scathing letter about how they would file for custody i was a monster for keeping him from his child blah blah blah i simply replied with ma'am dude voluntarily signed away his parental rights to child in 2013 please see the attached court order and copy of the document that is signed by dude you can also look up case number on state court records website accessible to the public or contact courthouse directly for more information good day they are screaming to all that will hear that this was illegal that they're gonna get it overturned that i coerced him into signing by holding papers and they'll get full custody on the spot because i'm just so evil his mother who i speak to is on my side because it's been so long with nothing but thinks i should have given him a chance to realize what he was signing before filing it am i the idiot not the idiot he didn't read what he signed and was busy throwing a tantrum that strike one on him he didn't show up for court when summoned that strike two he didn't get in contact for years only after he got remarried final strike he had all the time in the world to have a relationship with his child but didn't want to be bothered about it now it's done and over and i doubt there's anything he can do because he willingly signed the papers without reading them that is on him i think strike three should be counted devil since it was actually his wife contacting op this is beyond ridiculous get a lawyer and enjoy the ride it probably won't be pretty but that's not on you you're doing good avoiding them especially for the sake of your child you are not wrong on what grounds do they think they could get full custody anyway they'd get laughed out of court you were not the idiot because dude has probably told new wife a lovely long story where he is the wonderful father who desperately wants to see his kid but evil mother won't allow him blah blah and new wife has just swallowed the whole load of nonsense and truly believes father of the year once and deserves custody because mom is so terrible etc i highly doubt deadbeat dad even has the slightest interest in custody he's just flexing for new wife and letting her fight his battles while trying to look like the good guy dude signed the papers and refused to appear in court when summoned no judge is ever going to rule in their favor his new wife should be taking a long hard look at this situation and question whether she should really be pursuing a future with him in any case you sought to do right by your child you are not the idiot not to mention how many years it's been since he signed it and ignored the court order he or his wife can run around screaming it's a mistake but the first question anyone is going to ask is what took you so long i've been struggling with a decision i will have to make within the next week and wanted to see what you all think my sister is 34 years old and morbidly obese at 585 pounds she's been living with me and my family me 32 husband 34 and two little twin daughters for the past year because she needed somewhere to go and no one in my immediate family would take her in life has been a living nightmare since day one she is entitled lazy and extremely manipulative she will throw a huge temper tantrum when she doesn't get her way and constantly plays the victim to anyone who will listen she screams cries throws things you get the picture she's 95 bed bound and only gets up to open the door for delivery or takeout food diet wise we do not buy her any food we even offered to help implement a new and healthy diet for her but she refuses and ends up ordering out four to five times a day we've also tried dietitians nutritionists psychotherapy etc she doesn't have the energy to see if she is a candidate for weight loss surgery all of this has put a huge burden on my family my husband's work performance has greatly suffered we argue and have blow-ups at least twice a day often about little things but the resentment is there my daughters have been acting up within the past few months often mimicking her behavior and fighting we cannot leave the house as a family for fear that she may fall out of bed or there is an accident we are essentially prisoners in our own home and our quality of life has suffered immensely this brings me to the present day i want to kick her out i've met with several attorneys over the past two months and have everything lined up legally but am conflicted because she has nowhere to go literally nowhere i mean i think we will need fire or emt to pick her up and place her outside i absolutely do want to kick her out but the backlash i'll get from the community is inevitable would i be the idiot if i went through with this she doesn't have the energy to look into weight loss surgery but she does have the energy to order meals several times a day you took her in because nobody else would which should have been a warning would an ultimatum work tell her she has to change her behavior or she's out by the way where does she get the money for all her food is she on disability you are not the idiot you are not wrong if she is bed bound she might qualify for assisted living even though she is not a senior maybe contact adult protective services if you are in the u.s or some similar program to seek resources for her that may lessen the guilt your sister is an idiot but you're the one subjecting your husband and children to her behavior because you're worried about how other people in the community will react screw them and her too if anyone has an issue with it tell them they are welcome to take her in themselves but you are not your sister's keeper not the idiot if you kick her out the idiot if you don't my wife and i got a divorce last year our relationship failed after she was charged with felony credit card fraud and ended up pleading guilty to a lesser charge she had been a stay-at-home mom to her two sons and had taken credit cards out of my mom's name to pay for god knows what she shattered my trust i work full-time and make a decent living but nothing extravagant i had no clue what my wife was doing until cops showed up at my door with a warrant and took my wife away in cuffs and took two laptops as evidence when i got the full story i filed for divorce immediately aside from being a criminal she was a good mom she tried to justify what she did by saying she was just doing what was best for our kids which i felt was total crap given that she never mentioned wanting for anything and anytime she has to spend on something i almost always said yes i hired a good lawyer and asked for full custody of my kids my ex begged me not to do that saying she needed her kids but she was still looking at up to a year in jail and nothing her lawyer said could sway the judge to grant her anything more than supervised visitation she ended up doing 90 days in jail paying some fines in restitution but i've allowed her to see our sons almost every time she's asked this last year has been total hell but we've made it work a few months ago i was offered a much more lucrative position a few states away i talked with my lawyer about what it would mean if i moved and what the process was he said that since i have full custody i have to file a petition with the court to move so i told my wife what i wanted to do and she exploded she claimed i was stealing her kids from her that she's made a lot of strides to get herself to a better place and that she would fight me tooth and nail for her kids well i filed the petition got the go-ahead from the courts and accepted the job when the judge gave his ruling my wife burst into tears and began sobbing it was heartbreaking i know in my head that i'm doing the right thing for my sons they are young enough that a move like this won't be too traumatic but i also feel like their lives have already been completely overturned and i'm just adding more to that as for my wife she's a wreck she's been begging me to reconsider the move trying everything from guilt trips manipulation bargaining it's like she's going through the stages of grief but from my point of view she did this to herself she lied and broke the law i have very little sympathy for her i know at some point she will probably try to file for partial custody and i'm prepared for that for now i'm just trying to do what's best for me and my sons does that make me an idiot this is tough the divorce and getting full custody fully deserved not the idiot on that account moving to another part of the country where she'll have no contact with them i'm not so sold on this i think that you're still in pain and resent her and rightfully so but i'm not sure this is the best you can do regarding your children's relationship with their mother does she have any possibility of getting a job of moving or is she a financial mess as well and what are her living conditions like now have you gone to therapy let me be clear she did what she did and she's been held accountable for it you've got a right to move from a legal perspective but moving when you know she can't do the same will massively screw her relationship with your children and it will only lead to more anger resentment and pain you are the idiot i've read all your responses and this move is less about the new financial benefits and more about really sticking it to your ex-wife but this move affects your children who are being ripped from their primary caregiver and move to a place you know she can't afford to visit you state yourself that your ex-wife was a good mom your children will do best with both of their parents your children care more about their mom than the money your new job brings you have an obligation to work on resolving your hate and anger towards your ex-wife and deal with her as just the good mother of your children and you have more of an obligation to put the mental well-being of your children first and i do get where you are i have primary custody of my child who was born a month after my divorce of my 11-year marriage to her father i get betrayal and hate and pain i get not moving out of state to better my own career but i also get a kid who's got great relationships with both of her parents and is making memories and growing as a person with the influence of both background so my grandpa worked pretty high up in the state government and earned a lot he's not a billionaire or anything but he's quite well off enough to leave high six figures for everyone in the family that's three children and six grandchildren as for me i'm 26 and have been gay and out since i was in middle school my parents and brother have always been very supportive it never really came up around my extended family because i don't date much and we're not super close so the topic was never raised i wasn't even 100 sure they knew but i guess it's pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain my grandma died several years back and my grandpa remarried the new wife is nice enough but she's a born-again christian and she forced him to convert before they got married he seems to buy in completely now even though he was never religious at all before that my family and i went to visit my grandfather over labor day while we were there we were talking about global situation and mortality and the topic of his will came up and out of the blue he goes we have something we've been meaning to say to uop they proceeded to inform me that because of my lifestyle choices and choosing devil they opted not to include me in the will i was pretty shocked and so were my parents and younger brother to their credit my parents started to try to defend me but i interrupted them and basically went this seems like a good time to bring up something i've been meaning to talk about basically i said i had been reconsidering my lifestyle for a while and that maybe this was the kick in the pants i needed to make a real change i said that obviously i wanted the inheritance but more importantly it was a sign that i needed to rethink my lifestyle my grandpa seemed surprised but pleased my immediate family was incredibly confused and we left pretty much immediately in the car home i clarified that this was a bunch of crap and i thought grandpa was an idiot but i'll be doomed if i lose out on my share of near a million dollars i only see my extended family maybe twice a year so it shouldn't be hard to just update them on my new lifestyle for a couple years till my grandpa dies both my parents and younger brother had reservations but my brother especially thought it was insane that i would sell out my identity and spout toxic crap he said he thought it was an awful idea and that i should have more self-respect and that it was essentially a disservice to gays everywhere to act like this at first i blew it off but i've been thinking and i'm not so sure am i really selling other gay people down the river for some money am i just being a greedy idiot or is this a fair reaction to getting written out by my newly idiotic grandpa you are not the idiot you have not set gay rights back a hundred years by going back into the closet around your rude grandfather get your inheritance donate some of it to gay rights organizations and live your best wealthy gay life i'm totally down with you getting paid and with lying to your phobic grandparents but bear in mind three things some people can take a surprisingly long time to die especially mean people you don't mention if you're already partnered up or if you intend to be at some point while your grandfather is alive but that partner's feelings are a big consideration here probably the biggest consideration as to whether this is an ethical thing to do or not lots of people know about this lie and that makes this way less durable good luck but don't plan on getting that money my ex female 38 and i female34 had been together for five years before we split five years ago when we got together we didn't think about kids at all but i was always very sure i didn't want them ever and was vocal about it it's not that i actively hate kids i'm just majorly uncomfortable with them so i kind of freeze up when a kid approaches me and i'm super awkward around them so i really don't want to have kids that's aside from the body horror gripping me whenever i think about what being pregnant could be like bottom line no kids for me please that established i noticed my ex would kind of get a look whenever she encountered a small child after some time i asked her about it and we talked the whole night about our plans for the future it's the first time we talked like this i think living life in the moment before turns out she wanted kids but knew that i didn't so she didn't say a word we talked a lot over the next weeks and realized there was no way around it so we split up we've remained very good friends and i was happy for her when she found a guy married him and got pregnant four years ago so here's my problem we're still friends but i just can't meet up with her alone the kid is there every time i understand of course that she's a mom now with all the responsibility it includes and it was kind of fine the first year i was still majorly uncomfortable with the baby but also really wanted to hang out with her so i sucked it up but the kid is three now and for the last two years she always promised to leave the kid with the dad or her mom or her mother-in-law but that never happened one time she said she couldn't expect her husband to babysit the kid after he worked all day he's his dad though so yeah wanting to go to a nice restaurant kid is there wanting to watch a horror movie kid is there and so on since then we've gone from meeting up every two weeks to maybe once in two months last week however she came over with a kid and told me she was sad that we don't see each other as often as before i told her yeah and that i'm very sorry but i'm just really uncomfortable she shook her head and told me she couldn't understand that her son would make me feel uncomfortable that's fair she's his mom after all and that i just would have to learn to live with it so it would be best to turn my office into a kid's bedroom so that her son and her could come over once or twice a week to spend the night to sort of train me to get used to kids oh what as politely as i could i told her no thank you she got angry yelled at me picked up her kid and left i just sat there dumbfounded i later talked to some friends and they told me i've been wrong from the beginning since we split up about the kid's question in the first place and i should have just sucked it up gotten over myself and let her have a kid i need some perspective here am i the idiot info wait what your ex wants to spend the night at your place twice a week so you can get used to her son what is that and she wants you to convert your office into a room for them again what i thought about the possibility that she might want to get back together and that's why she's trying to get me used to the kid but it kind of felt paranoid and self-centered now it's been suggested a few times here so that got me thinking not the idiot now and you never were you did let her have a kid you two broke up and she went and had one without you meaning you have zero responsibility toward that kid it's not yours your friend and you have reached a crossroad and it's at the point where you may just need to let go and go separate ways you made your position clear by stating you don't want kids and by limiting contact your ex has been completely unreasonable and wanting you to redo rooms in your house for her kid to live in sounds like she's trying to get an out for her marriage by trying to move in with you and is under the delusion that you someone who barely tolerates spending the afternoon with her kid will become a loving stepmother of sorts to her kid once you're around the kid 24 7 with no escape do not do this i am sorry that the rest of your friends are being toxic to you about this you can't force yourself to like kids and if they told you you should have had kids with your ex when you two were still dating no kids should not be brought into the world to a reluctant parent who never wanted them and presents their existence [Music]

Channel: ASK GURL

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, reddit women, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit custody, reddit parental rigts, reddit sign over custody, reddit ex boyfriend, reddit child support

Id: v74G7hagqRk

Length: 19min 33sec (1173 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 14 2021